The pain hasn't quite gone. It's been a whole fucking year since has passed away.Some say that you will heal in time. I still haven't. It sucks so much to lose a best bud.

I still remember the skype message he left me. I still have it saved on one of my flashdrives. He was saying how I should fly out to Delaware to come see him and serpy <3. He was willing to pay for my flight and everything.

We were going to talk later on that day but that never happened. Right before he left he left the words "I love you dude,thank you for always being someone I can talk to. I miss you and I will always be someone to you. Always be yourself and don't ever change."


Thank you Vex.......it's because of you that I am still here. Growing stronger everyday.


fuck.



"I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven"

There is more to this, I know
You can make it out
You will live to tell

Me and realized that FCN was way too close to our moving day (april 30th is when the lease is up) and we didn't really want to stretch it. It was suppose to be his birthday con since his bday is april 9th ;-;

With that being said FCN is canceled for us. I wanna say thank you to a certain shep who was going to room us. You know who you are <3 I WILL make this up to you.

So i guess the planned cons for me
will be
blfc,esg (home con now bitch),cf (maybe),rf and mff

Dreyse is most likely gonna be rf and mff only due to his hectic work schedule >.>


FYI I AM LOOKING FOR 1-2 ROOMMATES FOR MFF.

the room is a double bed from 11/21/13-11/25/13

price will be negotable

note or skype me

I have had alot on my mind the past couple days especially after losing someone I had stopped being friends with due to my stupidity and not seeing his side. Now he is gone and doesn't have to suffer here anymore. And it made me wonder alot about myself and those I care for deeply. I always try to be a nice person even though I can come off as an asshole. I guess you just gotta rub me the right way or something, i'm not sure. But anyway I have many flaws that I see with myself as do many others.
Some people will always come and go. To me, that person never really was a friend or didn't try hard enough to even try and understand where you are coming from. But there are always going to be those very few who won't give up on you even when in selfdoubt.
A Best Friend Is Someone Who Loves You When You Forget To Love Yourself. I do forget this alot of the times and I am blessed to have so many people who are still here with me to this day. What I want to do when I am ready to leave this fucked up place, is to leave an impact on somebody.It could be a small thing or it could change their whole life. That would be a goal of mine,it is probably impossible but can be doable.
I am stubborn as hell, I admit that and I can also be very hard headed but there are so many people who talk to me even when I am hard to talk to.

So don't take it personal when I push you away, because
I'd just rather say I'm Okay and pretend like I believe it.
So don't take it to heart if I'm a little harsh.

This is the deepest I have ever gotten.

If you have any input on what I need to work on, then go ahead.
I know most of them and I am working on them.

Rest In Peace Tim

Be good to one another

~ Chewy

Everything you ever wanted was laying at your feet,
A loving family with open arms and everything,
I can see so clearly now,
I can almost feel it right now,
It's keeping me awake

Stuck in this empty room,
Replaying everything in my head,
I can almost feel it as much as I don't want to,
I tried to show you the man that I could be,
But now it's over, it's time to let this be,
I'm moving on with a new perspective,
Leaving all the pieces of this
Broken home in my rear view mirror,
It's time for me to start over

And every single chance I get
I say a prayer for you and your safety,
Why God, why have you abandoned me?

Memories are all you'll ever have,
I hope they stay with you forever and always,
I hope they stay with you,
I won't forget a thing, take everything,
Remember me

"When Winter falls
Next year, I'll be holding on
To anything nailed down
As for being patient, with fate and all, it's getting old.
And my mind is slowly changing
I'm calling all my oldest friends,
Saying -sorry for this mess we're in,-
And I'm waiting, waiting
For the Sun to come and melt this snow,
wash away the pain, and give me back control, control.

An angel got his wings,
And we'll hold our heads up knowing that he's fine.
We'd all be lucky to have a love like that in a lifetime.

Should we still set his plate?
Should we still save his chair?
Should we still buy him gifts?
And if we don't, did we not care?
It makes you think about the life you've led,
Shit you've done, things you've said.
And it's grounding, grounding.
I've been feeling three feet tall this month,
hardly indestructible.
But the snow melts, and the rhythm still goes on.

An angel got his wings,
And we'll hold our heads up knowing that he's fine.
We'd all be lucky to have a love like that in a lifetime.

Friends stay side by side,
In life and death you've always stole my heart,
You'll always mean so much to me, it's hard to believe this

These nights in vans,
These nights in bars,
Don't mean a thing with empty hearts, with empty hearts.

An angel got his wings,
And we'll hold our heads up knowing that he's fine.
We'd all be lucky to have a love like that in a lifetime.

Friends stay side by side,
In life and death you've always stole my heart,
You've always meant so much to me, it's hard to believe
So much to me, it's hard to believe
So much to me, it's hard to believe this."




Rest In Peace Tim aka

regardless of what your bullshit deal was with him, squash it. Everyone has problems. Don't act like you're a big fucking man.

We stopped talking over something stupid but you will always be a friend to me.

So me and Dreyse's lease is coming up in April and
we are into looking at getting a house. Fuck apartments haha

we DO live here and we do know the areas pretty damn well.

Have stable income......or YOU CAN BE ABLE TO GAIN A EMPLOYMENT within 2-3 months.
no couch potatos or fuzzballs who play games all day. >:|

I am being 100% real. the areas we were looking at are completely safe but it's the desert....so heat sucks balls.
but if you can hang. let me know.



also....HI

I thought about these past few years and I'll act like I'm alright.
And I've got this pain inside my head that I can't shake.
I lay awake for hours. Sing to get away.

got a new 2nd job.
so i guess this means extra cash for cons,fursuit and all that shit.

so i guess this means FWA????

:3 who wants me there

be honest

I will love you as a friend....


no FC journal for me.

Ups and Downs for that con....

YEP,
WAITING in the terminal,stealing wifi lol.

me, are all here :3


2 HRS KIDS

so shit is happening and had some problems but I am 100% going.
I need 2 more roomates for the Hilton (double bed)

and maybe 1 more for the Marriott.

both the rooms are 1/16-1/22


Let fuzzballs know and send them my way.

I will beg and steal and borrow to keep you safe your whole life........

I have 1 for sure in the Hilton room,1 maybe in the Hilton and 1 maybe in the Marriott ( my room) .

anyone want to be in a double bed in the Hilton?

Note me or skype me please.
\

~ Chewy

LET PEEPS KNOW

this means I had 1 person drop and 2 may not be able to go but we shall see.
I'll keep you fuzzies up to date

Feeling artsy as fuck and doing a shit load of gifts for ALOT of friends >.>

i'm not the best but i try.

I have like 15 people LOL

but im willing to do them and I WILL get them done for FC.
They will be laminated,colored and have a clip with.
You MUST be attending FC. My Only Rule

sooooooooooo GO!

Leave a ref shit ONLY if you are ATTENDING FC 2013


THE LIST OF FC Gift BADGES :B
1. EnlightenerDONE
2. Cupricfox DONE
3. chancewolfDONE
4. zaosDONE
5. redwolf78DONE
6. CrushdalovablewolfieDONE
7. apollo_night_huskyDONE
8. PhorphauxDONE
9. doryuuDONE
10.anthro_foxDONE
11GentooDONE



OTHER BADGES FOR FUZZIES

DONE

GET YO DRANK ON....INCREDIBLE HULKS FOR ERRYONE :B

Totally MAKING 's dream of going to FC a dream come true. :3

I am rooming him,driving him and flying his green ass back.
No I don't expect anything back nor will i ever.
He deserves it

He's mah husky nig and he will be attending. :3

Love ya huskybutt :P

Where are you staying?

The Mothafuckin' MURRiott

What day are you getting there?

Wednesday 1/16

Who are you rooming with?



Who will you hang out with during the convention?
Old Friends,New Friends. Fucking Furfags Bro <3

Are there any panels you might be attending?
Maybe....more so dances

Are you attending any stage or public performances?
Just Have To Wait And See :D

Will you be suiting?
No ;-;

Which Suit(s) will you be bringing?

None because I don't have one.....yet

Do you do free art?
Maybe

Do you do trades?
Nope

Do you do badges?
Yes and No

Do you do commissions?
Nope

What is your gender?
I R A MAN

How old are you?
21

How tall are you?
like 5’9

Are you taken? Are you looking for a 'mate'?
i AM TAKEN BY soooooooo keep your cheeto paws off

Can I talk to you?
I don’t see why not ^^

Can I Touch You?
Keep it above the belt

How can I find you?
phone, text,or my huge fucking plugs

Can I visit your room?
Bring booze and we will talk!

Can I buy you drinks?
Sure can :D

Can I give you stuff?
I love stuff!

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
As long as you don't smell

Are you nice?
I like to think so <3

How long are you going?
1/16-1/22

Do you have an artist table?
Nope

Will you have art in the Art Show? General or Adult sections?
LOL NO

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Come up to me like a normal person unless I REALLY know you well....you can tackle >.>

Where will you be most of the time during the day/s?
Parties,dances,roaming drunk with friends :3

What/where will you be eating?
anywhere......i love vegan places but pretty open to suggestions

Can I come with you for food/fun/etc?
I don't see why not

Can I look in your sketchbook?
As Long As You Ask

Can I draw in your sketchbook?
Yes :3 i LOVE random drawings

Can I take your picture?
As long as your in it with me :D

What's your goal(s) for the con this year?
Hang out with all my friends as much as possible,get HELLA plastered and collect more friendships :P

So I have a question.
I MAY be moving back to california since may have to as well to take care of family priorities. No we didn't break up but it's gonna suck because I will be alone by myself......again.
Don't have many options back with family cus it's cramped as it is.

Would anyone in cali want to house a wolfmutt?

SoCal or Bay Area would be preferred.

I do work and will have income,all i would have to do is put in for a transfer.....it's up in the air right now and im not sure what to do.
Sorry if this is all over the place.

And don't you dare say we can just be friends.
I'm not some boy that you can sway.
We knew it'd happen eventually."

:3

Here Have Some Heart!!

yeah......need one cus i don't want to risk anything.

NOTE ME for info but comment here if interested,

it's

fursuit and alchy friendly.

For the black eyes and bleeding lips
When it's hard to forget
How many lies we told,
Or how we'd grow
Before i said goodbye
So lets scrape our knees on the playground

It's not your fault
You feel okay,
It's too late in the day
It's not your fault,
You feel betrayed,
And can't come out to play

I never listened to a word,
You never said,
I never listened to a word,
You never said,

Wasting the hours now,
We're all suckers for tragedies,
We'll start this over again,
And you bring us to our knees,

As sunrise comes,
And the story will sell
A few hundred papers,
So we'll follow you up!

It's not your fault
You feel okay,
It's too late in the day
It's not your fault,
You feel betrayed,
And can't come out to play

I never listened to a word,
You never said,
I never listened to a word,
You never said,

So raise your hands up high,
And let this rain pour on,
So raise your hands up high,
And Wash us away,

Like innocence and childbirth
You look just like your mother,
And you look just like your father



Forgive him our father,
Your son is smiling
So lay roses around you...

~ Funeral For A Friend

i want to commission a piece of a snarly dead werewolf that must be at least 8-9" since i will be making this a tattoo :P with some added things from my own head.

I wanted to get my friends or but they are soooooooo damn hard to get ahold of >.>

I'LL THROW MONEY AT YA D:

I'm Getting Started on My Left Arm Sleeve and getting the piece of shit I got a few years ago either covered up or redone relatively soon.

Hand Tatts......let's see how this goes. :3

Don't Regret Anything, Stay Positive

Stay Classy Fuzzies.

~Chewy