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Posted 13 years agoA fellow furry friend is in need of help with commissions. Good prices, go check it out.
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3177481/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3177481/
Stickers...
Posted 14 years agoYeah...that badge thing in the favorites, that Flinters did? "Beware of Wolf"?
I want one of those as a sticker, get it, then post it on my front door.
Just sayin'.
I want one of those as a sticker, get it, then post it on my front door.
Just sayin'.
Re:Coming out...again
Posted 15 years agoA post in response to the one 
2_gryphon made, found here. Thought I'd be nice and not try and cram all of this mostly-about-myself post into 2's.
All right. Finally back. Let's see if I can properly express myself.
First, a little background exposition. I am a 24 year old, male wolf (debate semantics later). I've had my share of plusses and minuses as far as life experience goes. I am dominant bisexual. I am altruistic, no matter what I say, and I do love snuggling with the ones I love. I've been in two sexual relationships, one male, one female. Online-wise, I have one "pup", one "Mate", and one person I don't quite know how to react to yet. Rocky ground, all of it (Again, debate later). I've known my Mate for about 5 years, my pup for about 2-3, and the last one for not quite a year. I lived in my mother's house until about 3-4 years ago, got out, met the male of the two, had a relationship. Got a job, met the female of the two, had a relationship. Lost the job, lost the house, forced to live with my mother until this last week. Managed to move out to a nearby resort thing for a temp job for a couple of months. Solved the problem of dealing with my mother and with getting a job at the same time. Met a lot of good people here, a good environment if ever I've seen one.
Also, as a possible pertinent reference, I've been almost strangled to death by a peer in elementary school, and while not abusive, my mother did have a tendency to slap me a few more times than I cared for. Now that all of that's laid out, let's see if I can explain my thoughts and feelings.
Personally, I've never cared for humans. Physically, that is. Maybe it was the strangling, maybe it was the constant picking on at school. Due to a skewered sense of timing, I was trying to figure out a coping mechanism, which turned out to be transformation, as I was beginning to sexually develop. In this case, it happened to be pig transformation, putting down others. For a number of years, I used this as a means to cope. I went through a number of psychologists, competent and not, willing and not. I went through it at my own paces, and took time to figure out what was going on.
Personally, I look at humans, and I think of that line from "Hellboy 2": "But man had been created with a hole in his heart, a hole that no possession, power, or knowledge could fill." Nowadays, you can't help but look at humans, and see...a hollowness. Some dying, some dead inside. Sad, but true. People grow up, feeling as the older they get, the more dead they feel inside. Sometimes, people look for that "liveliness" again, that energy, that "love", in younger ones. I'll be honest. I did my stint in pedophilia. Came, and went. I thought about it, and I thought, "What could I do, that wouldn't make him feel horrible, now or later? What better love could I show him, than simply hugging him, and being there for him?"
From there, before and after, there was my Mate. She was married to a jobless, abusive drunk, was a drug addict, and had recently lost her child between that and some other details going on. At the time, I had randomly met her on a local message board. F2F for those familiar with it. Over time, I had given her gentle love, attention, and a shoulder to cry on, when she needed it. For those curious, we did, and still do, live on opposite sides of the nation. There were several attempts to get us together, but for one reason or another, they didn't work out. Eventually, she managed to clean up, get out, divorce the abuser, and get a place to live. Personally, even now, I think the main reason I did it was a sense of altruism. Not that I wanted anything in particular...I just wanted to help.
Granted, in the 5+ years, we had our roller-coaster times, positive and negative. During one of the "down" times, I attempted to have sex with a male. If I were to be perfectly honest, it was a disappointment. I mean, I masturbated, visualized my own thoughts, imagined how it would feel, where to touch, what to do, and all that good stuff...and I couldn't help but feel disappointed.
I mean yes, I felt physical stimulation, but I had about as much regard for it as I do tickling. Eventually, it got to the point where I had to force myself to cum, and yet, it was still so..."blah". While the guy wasn't offended, things did pretty much peter out after that.
So there was another rollercoaster, and next it was my female friend. She was a co-worker, an older person, very amicable, very passionate in her actions and words. So we did the "happy dance", as she called it, and as I did what I did, I couldn't help but think, "Is that it?"
I mean here I was, in the best years of my life, trying to experience something that some people spend all their free time on. And yet I couldn't help but feel disappointed. I mean, I've had more arousing sessions of masturbation, frankly. The point of this, if any, is that sex isn't everything it's cracked up to be.
Now, to move from the physical, to the mental.
Like I said, I'm fairly altruistic. Give me problems, and I'll give you a shoulder to cry on, as long as you need it. Note the word "need". I'll be gentle, but firm, and at the same time help point you in the right direction.
To me, the best relationships take work. I'm not talking about changing a person. If your relationship is based on changing him, why are you with him in the first place? No, I work with people to help work on the things that drag them down. The things they know need working on. More often than not, love happes as a matter of course.
It boils down to the fact that, in this day and age, people are afraid to love, afraid to express themselves. People...fear hurt, in the purest sense. Sometimes it's your father, sometimes it's your nine-month-old niece. People often come across a sense of "what's the point? It's just going to hurt later."
At the same time, mankind feels so very, very lonely. In this electronic day and age, people lack that sense of feeling, of touch, and missing so much. Humans are very social, very physical. Intimate, without necessarily being sexual. Even those lecherous perverts, arms a-grabbin', aim for one thing: to touch. To fondle. To answer a quiet call to years long ago, when they fed on their mother's milk. Or didn't, as the case may be. So to take time, to snuggle, for no other reason than simply being close with one you care about, protector or protected, means so much.
Another thing to think about, though on a slightly different note: Why do people have sex, outside of physical pleasure? To procreate. I am willing to bet, nine times out of ten, the people who have no real interest in sex...
...Are the ones that truly believe there are too many humans on this planet.
Now, all of this being said, I am still quite..."promiscuous". Virtually, not physically. I've thought it over, and I've thought about the whole notion of "pity f!@$" and all that, and that simply doesn't ring true with me. I am a dominant, one who seeks utter control, to give the person I am with the most massive pleasure they have ever experienced, to the point that their very mind seems to orgasm from such mental, if not physical stimulation. I've worked with hypnosis, with varying degrees of success, more successful than otherwise. It allows me a good degree of control, and to a degree, that sense of touch. I take utter control of them, often to understand what they enjoy most, and help them experience it. Amusingly enough, most of the people that experience this are or tend to be very submissive, and get frustrated by my lack of self-pleasure. If I were to be perfectly honest, I don't know what my sense of self pleasure...is. My interests are transformation, dominance/control, and helping others. That's...about it.
Now, I'm not saying any of these are your reasons specifically, or anyone else's. These are simply my blatherings on the subject. I'm willing to bet there are a couple of gems of truth for everyone here. But then again, who knows?
By all means, let me know what you think. I'd love to hear peoples' thoughts on it.
This is Xel, over and out.
TLDR: Everyone has their reason for a lack of interest in sex. Me, I'm there to see life and love for what it is, not what speed I can pump seed into some random orifice.
2_gryphon made, found here. Thought I'd be nice and not try and cram all of this mostly-about-myself post into 2's.All right. Finally back. Let's see if I can properly express myself.
First, a little background exposition. I am a 24 year old, male wolf (debate semantics later). I've had my share of plusses and minuses as far as life experience goes. I am dominant bisexual. I am altruistic, no matter what I say, and I do love snuggling with the ones I love. I've been in two sexual relationships, one male, one female. Online-wise, I have one "pup", one "Mate", and one person I don't quite know how to react to yet. Rocky ground, all of it (Again, debate later). I've known my Mate for about 5 years, my pup for about 2-3, and the last one for not quite a year. I lived in my mother's house until about 3-4 years ago, got out, met the male of the two, had a relationship. Got a job, met the female of the two, had a relationship. Lost the job, lost the house, forced to live with my mother until this last week. Managed to move out to a nearby resort thing for a temp job for a couple of months. Solved the problem of dealing with my mother and with getting a job at the same time. Met a lot of good people here, a good environment if ever I've seen one.
Also, as a possible pertinent reference, I've been almost strangled to death by a peer in elementary school, and while not abusive, my mother did have a tendency to slap me a few more times than I cared for. Now that all of that's laid out, let's see if I can explain my thoughts and feelings.
Personally, I've never cared for humans. Physically, that is. Maybe it was the strangling, maybe it was the constant picking on at school. Due to a skewered sense of timing, I was trying to figure out a coping mechanism, which turned out to be transformation, as I was beginning to sexually develop. In this case, it happened to be pig transformation, putting down others. For a number of years, I used this as a means to cope. I went through a number of psychologists, competent and not, willing and not. I went through it at my own paces, and took time to figure out what was going on.
Personally, I look at humans, and I think of that line from "Hellboy 2": "But man had been created with a hole in his heart, a hole that no possession, power, or knowledge could fill." Nowadays, you can't help but look at humans, and see...a hollowness. Some dying, some dead inside. Sad, but true. People grow up, feeling as the older they get, the more dead they feel inside. Sometimes, people look for that "liveliness" again, that energy, that "love", in younger ones. I'll be honest. I did my stint in pedophilia. Came, and went. I thought about it, and I thought, "What could I do, that wouldn't make him feel horrible, now or later? What better love could I show him, than simply hugging him, and being there for him?"
From there, before and after, there was my Mate. She was married to a jobless, abusive drunk, was a drug addict, and had recently lost her child between that and some other details going on. At the time, I had randomly met her on a local message board. F2F for those familiar with it. Over time, I had given her gentle love, attention, and a shoulder to cry on, when she needed it. For those curious, we did, and still do, live on opposite sides of the nation. There were several attempts to get us together, but for one reason or another, they didn't work out. Eventually, she managed to clean up, get out, divorce the abuser, and get a place to live. Personally, even now, I think the main reason I did it was a sense of altruism. Not that I wanted anything in particular...I just wanted to help.
Granted, in the 5+ years, we had our roller-coaster times, positive and negative. During one of the "down" times, I attempted to have sex with a male. If I were to be perfectly honest, it was a disappointment. I mean, I masturbated, visualized my own thoughts, imagined how it would feel, where to touch, what to do, and all that good stuff...and I couldn't help but feel disappointed.
I mean yes, I felt physical stimulation, but I had about as much regard for it as I do tickling. Eventually, it got to the point where I had to force myself to cum, and yet, it was still so..."blah". While the guy wasn't offended, things did pretty much peter out after that.
So there was another rollercoaster, and next it was my female friend. She was a co-worker, an older person, very amicable, very passionate in her actions and words. So we did the "happy dance", as she called it, and as I did what I did, I couldn't help but think, "Is that it?"
I mean here I was, in the best years of my life, trying to experience something that some people spend all their free time on. And yet I couldn't help but feel disappointed. I mean, I've had more arousing sessions of masturbation, frankly. The point of this, if any, is that sex isn't everything it's cracked up to be.
Now, to move from the physical, to the mental.
Like I said, I'm fairly altruistic. Give me problems, and I'll give you a shoulder to cry on, as long as you need it. Note the word "need". I'll be gentle, but firm, and at the same time help point you in the right direction.
To me, the best relationships take work. I'm not talking about changing a person. If your relationship is based on changing him, why are you with him in the first place? No, I work with people to help work on the things that drag them down. The things they know need working on. More often than not, love happes as a matter of course.
It boils down to the fact that, in this day and age, people are afraid to love, afraid to express themselves. People...fear hurt, in the purest sense. Sometimes it's your father, sometimes it's your nine-month-old niece. People often come across a sense of "what's the point? It's just going to hurt later."
At the same time, mankind feels so very, very lonely. In this electronic day and age, people lack that sense of feeling, of touch, and missing so much. Humans are very social, very physical. Intimate, without necessarily being sexual. Even those lecherous perverts, arms a-grabbin', aim for one thing: to touch. To fondle. To answer a quiet call to years long ago, when they fed on their mother's milk. Or didn't, as the case may be. So to take time, to snuggle, for no other reason than simply being close with one you care about, protector or protected, means so much.
Another thing to think about, though on a slightly different note: Why do people have sex, outside of physical pleasure? To procreate. I am willing to bet, nine times out of ten, the people who have no real interest in sex...
...Are the ones that truly believe there are too many humans on this planet.
Now, all of this being said, I am still quite..."promiscuous". Virtually, not physically. I've thought it over, and I've thought about the whole notion of "pity f!@$" and all that, and that simply doesn't ring true with me. I am a dominant, one who seeks utter control, to give the person I am with the most massive pleasure they have ever experienced, to the point that their very mind seems to orgasm from such mental, if not physical stimulation. I've worked with hypnosis, with varying degrees of success, more successful than otherwise. It allows me a good degree of control, and to a degree, that sense of touch. I take utter control of them, often to understand what they enjoy most, and help them experience it. Amusingly enough, most of the people that experience this are or tend to be very submissive, and get frustrated by my lack of self-pleasure. If I were to be perfectly honest, I don't know what my sense of self pleasure...is. My interests are transformation, dominance/control, and helping others. That's...about it.
Now, I'm not saying any of these are your reasons specifically, or anyone else's. These are simply my blatherings on the subject. I'm willing to bet there are a couple of gems of truth for everyone here. But then again, who knows?
By all means, let me know what you think. I'd love to hear peoples' thoughts on it.
This is Xel, over and out.
TLDR: Everyone has their reason for a lack of interest in sex. Me, I'm there to see life and love for what it is, not what speed I can pump seed into some random orifice.
Yes No Meme
Posted 15 years agoStolen from Muzz
1. You can ONLY answer Yes or No .
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages/comments you and asks. And believe me, the temptation to explain some of these will be overwhelming... things are not exactly as they seem.
3. It is harder than it looks, but NO explanations !!! You will want to... but don't!!!
Kissed any one of your Facebook friends? ---No
Been arrested? ---Yes
Kissed someone you didn't like? ---No
Slept in until 5 PM? --- Yes
Fallen asleep at work/school? ---No
Ran a red light? ---No
Been suspended from school? ---Yes
Experienced love at first sight? ---No
Totalled your car in an accident? ---No
Been fired from a job? ---No
Fired somebody? ---No
Sang karaoke? ---Yes
Pointed a gun at someone? ---No
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? ---Yes
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? ---Yes
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? --- Yes
Kissed in the rain? --- No
Had a close brush with death (your own)? ---Yes
Seen someone die? ---Yes
Played spin-the-bottle? ---No
Sang in the shower? --- Yes
Smoked a cigar? ---No
Sat on a rooftop? --- Yes
Taken pictures of yourself naked? ---Yes
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? ---No
Skipped school? ---No
Eaten a bug? ---No
Sleepwalked? --Yes
Walked a moonlit beach? ---No
Ridden a motorcycle? ---No
Dumped someone? ---Yes
Forgotten your anniversary? ---No
Lied to avoid a ticket? ---No
Ridden on a helicopter? ---No
Shaved your head? ---No
Blacked out from drinking? ---No
Played a prank on someone? --- Yes
Hit a home run? ---Yes
Felt like killing someone? ---Yes
Cross-dressed? ---No
Been falling-down drunk? ---No
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? ---No
Eaten snake? --- No
Marched/Protested? ---No
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? ---No
Puked on amusement ride? ---No
Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? ---No
Been in a band? --- No
Knitted? ---Yes
Been on TV? ---No
Shot a gun? ---No
Skinny-dipped? ---No
Caused someone to need stitches? ---No
Ridden a surfboard? ---No
Drank straight from a liquor bottle? ---Yes
Had surgery? --- Yes
Streaked? ---No
Taken by ambulance to hospital? ---Yes
Passed out when not drinking? ---Yes
Peed on a bush? --- Yes
Donated Blood? ---No
Grabbed electric fence? ---No
Eaten alligator meat? ---No
Eaten cheesecake? ---Yes
Eaten kids' Halloween candy? ---Yes
Killed an animal when not hunting? ---No
Peed your pants in public? ---No
Written graffiti? --- No
Still love someone you shouldn't? ---No
Think about the future? ---Yes
Been in handcuffs? ---Yes
Believe in love? ---Yes
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? ---No
1. You can ONLY answer Yes or No .
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages/comments you and asks. And believe me, the temptation to explain some of these will be overwhelming... things are not exactly as they seem.
3. It is harder than it looks, but NO explanations !!! You will want to... but don't!!!
Kissed any one of your Facebook friends? ---No
Been arrested? ---Yes
Kissed someone you didn't like? ---No
Slept in until 5 PM? --- Yes
Fallen asleep at work/school? ---No
Ran a red light? ---No
Been suspended from school? ---Yes
Experienced love at first sight? ---No
Totalled your car in an accident? ---No
Been fired from a job? ---No
Fired somebody? ---No
Sang karaoke? ---Yes
Pointed a gun at someone? ---No
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? ---Yes
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? ---Yes
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? --- Yes
Kissed in the rain? --- No
Had a close brush with death (your own)? ---Yes
Seen someone die? ---Yes
Played spin-the-bottle? ---No
Sang in the shower? --- Yes
Smoked a cigar? ---No
Sat on a rooftop? --- Yes
Taken pictures of yourself naked? ---Yes
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? ---No
Skipped school? ---No
Eaten a bug? ---No
Sleepwalked? --Yes
Walked a moonlit beach? ---No
Ridden a motorcycle? ---No
Dumped someone? ---Yes
Forgotten your anniversary? ---No
Lied to avoid a ticket? ---No
Ridden on a helicopter? ---No
Shaved your head? ---No
Blacked out from drinking? ---No
Played a prank on someone? --- Yes
Hit a home run? ---Yes
Felt like killing someone? ---Yes
Cross-dressed? ---No
Been falling-down drunk? ---No
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? ---No
Eaten snake? --- No
Marched/Protested? ---No
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? ---No
Puked on amusement ride? ---No
Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? ---No
Been in a band? --- No
Knitted? ---Yes
Been on TV? ---No
Shot a gun? ---No
Skinny-dipped? ---No
Caused someone to need stitches? ---No
Ridden a surfboard? ---No
Drank straight from a liquor bottle? ---Yes
Had surgery? --- Yes
Streaked? ---No
Taken by ambulance to hospital? ---Yes
Passed out when not drinking? ---Yes
Peed on a bush? --- Yes
Donated Blood? ---No
Grabbed electric fence? ---No
Eaten alligator meat? ---No
Eaten cheesecake? ---Yes
Eaten kids' Halloween candy? ---Yes
Killed an animal when not hunting? ---No
Peed your pants in public? ---No
Written graffiti? --- No
Still love someone you shouldn't? ---No
Think about the future? ---Yes
Been in handcuffs? ---Yes
Believe in love? ---Yes
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? ---No
Honestly, why not?
Posted 15 years agoI have thought about it, seriously thought about it, and I still haven't figured out a good answer to this question:
Why don't we switch between having the obvious warning labels off for 50 years, then on for 50 years? It'd help clean out those lethally stupid people, and for at least 48 years, the world would have peace. No lawsuits over them, as well.
I'm still working out the fine details, such as when a corporation tried to place the blame on you for something that isn't obvious, but still...
It's like B*ll Engvall's "Here's your sign", without the sign.
Anyway, my thoughts for the day.
Why don't we switch between having the obvious warning labels off for 50 years, then on for 50 years? It'd help clean out those lethally stupid people, and for at least 48 years, the world would have peace. No lawsuits over them, as well.
I'm still working out the fine details, such as when a corporation tried to place the blame on you for something that isn't obvious, but still...
It's like B*ll Engvall's "Here's your sign", without the sign.
Anyway, my thoughts for the day.
Random update for the halibut...
Posted 15 years agoOh, the halibut, the halibut...
Anyway, for thems as interested, I figured I'd take a more active approach to my FA account here, and see what I can do for drawing/writing/music/stuff. Don't know what will come of it, but eh, isn't that the spice of life? ;)
Anyway, for thems as interested, I figured I'd take a more active approach to my FA account here, and see what I can do for drawing/writing/music/stuff. Don't know what will come of it, but eh, isn't that the spice of life? ;)
Anyone else?
Posted 16 years ago...I don't know if this is going to come out sounding like whining, or a pity party request, or whatnot. I'm not after pity. I just...want to get it out. And I'm curious if anybody can find the reason for this stream of "!@#$ you"s life has given me, and possibly dig out of them.
Still with me? Onward, then.
We start with the 18th of March. I receive a text message from my mother, telling me to call, as I have no actual phone. I use a VOIP (internet phone) system to call them. My nine month old niece was laying on a bed, rolled off onto a garbage bag, and suffocated. So they go to the hospital, try and save her, it was too late. Apparently my sister and brother in law were there, taking care of her as parents do, and my sister went to chat with my mother, while my brother in law would watch her. Apparently, he fell asleep. Keep in mind, he sleeps harder than most rocks, due to a rather vicious sleep apnea. For all those who have the suspicion, no, he did not push her, as they were (are) attempting to imply. While not often, I saw him with her. Moving on, while my sister is sobbing due to a pair of aching breasts as a constant reminder, and CPS is attempting to imply criminal negligence on them, a hospital performs an autopsy on my niece. I'll save my personal rants regarding authorities later.
So aside from not being able to get several facts right (not being married, despite legalities themselves stating being so for several years) CPS tries/is trying to take away my older niece. My mother fought like hell, and managed to get her to stay in her house, which I am temporarily staying. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
So on the 19th, I go to request time off from my job. As I do so, I'm pulled in a room with two supervisors. Apparently, I forgot to ask two people if it was the first time they were calling regarding their issue, out of several hundred. I was summarily fired, more or less.
So I get here, and help with the memorial (pall-bearer and all), among other things. I also helped with the neighbors, since the CPS decided to go after them as well, incorrect police facts and all, since the place was apparently "unfit to live" (two parents, seven kids, large house. Crowded, but not unfit.). Near as I can tell, they're on the wire, but in the clear.
Then we get a call from one of my aunts, and find out, not only is she going to be evicted soon, but her husband apparently has cancer, likely untreatable. Keep in mind she's reaching her 70s, as well. Meanwhile, I have an uncle who also has cancer, as well as being almost blind. Haven't heard too much on that part.
Oh, did I forget to mention that sister and brother in law were behind on payments for their car, and they're trying to repossess it? And, after the memorial, they have no money to speak of to pay for it.
And so we come to today, going through this train wreck of a time, preparing to head for home. I was helping my mother with...something. Cleaning the house, I think. Meanwhile, my niece was climbing over one of the two dogs my mother owned, Brandie. I could tell that the dog was trying to get away from her, but she kept climbing over her. She turned around and snapped at her. She just barely punctured the skin, one point by the cheek, and two by the eye. But she punctured, and it was enough. We took her to the "Humane Society" to be "euthanized". That asshole of a vet took several tried finding a vein. She died in my arms.
It doesn't help, knowing that she has a sister, Sandi, who not only has kidney trouble (7 years old), but she is very social, and very lonely. And I'm going to lose her too. Maybe not physically, but emotionally, I'm going to lose her. The dogs that helped me through several years of hell when I was living with my mother before, I would be surprised if I didn't lose both within a couple month's time.
So here I am, no job in this (US) market, staying at my parents' place presently while coping with yet another loss, and just...just...
I don't know. God !#@$ it, but I don't know.
Anyway, so that's what's been going on so far. I just...wanted to get it out. Hopefully for some better times in the near future.
Still with me? Onward, then.
We start with the 18th of March. I receive a text message from my mother, telling me to call, as I have no actual phone. I use a VOIP (internet phone) system to call them. My nine month old niece was laying on a bed, rolled off onto a garbage bag, and suffocated. So they go to the hospital, try and save her, it was too late. Apparently my sister and brother in law were there, taking care of her as parents do, and my sister went to chat with my mother, while my brother in law would watch her. Apparently, he fell asleep. Keep in mind, he sleeps harder than most rocks, due to a rather vicious sleep apnea. For all those who have the suspicion, no, he did not push her, as they were (are) attempting to imply. While not often, I saw him with her. Moving on, while my sister is sobbing due to a pair of aching breasts as a constant reminder, and CPS is attempting to imply criminal negligence on them, a hospital performs an autopsy on my niece. I'll save my personal rants regarding authorities later.
So aside from not being able to get several facts right (not being married, despite legalities themselves stating being so for several years) CPS tries/is trying to take away my older niece. My mother fought like hell, and managed to get her to stay in her house, which I am temporarily staying. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
So on the 19th, I go to request time off from my job. As I do so, I'm pulled in a room with two supervisors. Apparently, I forgot to ask two people if it was the first time they were calling regarding their issue, out of several hundred. I was summarily fired, more or less.
So I get here, and help with the memorial (pall-bearer and all), among other things. I also helped with the neighbors, since the CPS decided to go after them as well, incorrect police facts and all, since the place was apparently "unfit to live" (two parents, seven kids, large house. Crowded, but not unfit.). Near as I can tell, they're on the wire, but in the clear.
Then we get a call from one of my aunts, and find out, not only is she going to be evicted soon, but her husband apparently has cancer, likely untreatable. Keep in mind she's reaching her 70s, as well. Meanwhile, I have an uncle who also has cancer, as well as being almost blind. Haven't heard too much on that part.
Oh, did I forget to mention that sister and brother in law were behind on payments for their car, and they're trying to repossess it? And, after the memorial, they have no money to speak of to pay for it.
And so we come to today, going through this train wreck of a time, preparing to head for home. I was helping my mother with...something. Cleaning the house, I think. Meanwhile, my niece was climbing over one of the two dogs my mother owned, Brandie. I could tell that the dog was trying to get away from her, but she kept climbing over her. She turned around and snapped at her. She just barely punctured the skin, one point by the cheek, and two by the eye. But she punctured, and it was enough. We took her to the "Humane Society" to be "euthanized". That asshole of a vet took several tried finding a vein. She died in my arms.
It doesn't help, knowing that she has a sister, Sandi, who not only has kidney trouble (7 years old), but she is very social, and very lonely. And I'm going to lose her too. Maybe not physically, but emotionally, I'm going to lose her. The dogs that helped me through several years of hell when I was living with my mother before, I would be surprised if I didn't lose both within a couple month's time.
So here I am, no job in this (US) market, staying at my parents' place presently while coping with yet another loss, and just...just...
I don't know. God !#@$ it, but I don't know.
Anyway, so that's what's been going on so far. I just...wanted to get it out. Hopefully for some better times in the near future.
Oy...
Posted 16 years agoI have to admit, as a general rule, I completely dislike the "nuke" function. I actually enjoy going through the postings, page, by page, picking out the ones I like, taking away the ones I don't. At the same time, I have limits.
6,000+ posts is pretty much my limit. I tell ya, I look away for a second...
While I compliment you, all of you that I'm watching, on your skill and dedication, and I shall be sure to take a look as time allows...
Woof. That's a bit much for anyone.
Still, I'll see if I can write something or another, as I've been wanting to do a bit of writing anyway.
Cheers,
Xel
Edit: And here we are, several items posted as I'm writing this. Go figure.
6,000+ posts is pretty much my limit. I tell ya, I look away for a second...
While I compliment you, all of you that I'm watching, on your skill and dedication, and I shall be sure to take a look as time allows...
Woof. That's a bit much for anyone.
Still, I'll see if I can write something or another, as I've been wanting to do a bit of writing anyway.
Cheers,
Xel
Edit: And here we are, several items posted as I'm writing this. Go figure.
100 facts meme
Posted 17 years ago"Borrowed" from :Bombchu:
Thought I'd give one of these things a shot. Thought I'd add the italics bit for clarification and amusement.
INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Copy this whole list into your journal (including the instructions, so that other people can understand what it is about).
2. Bold the things that are true about you.
[ b ] Bold [ /b ]
3. Whatever you don't bold are false
4. Italicize the things that are definitely false.
[ i ] Italics [ /i ]
001. I like laser pointers
002. I don't drink water
003. I believe in world peace
004. I sleep with a plushie
005. I'm ambidextrous
006. People accept me how I am
007. I'm addict to anime/manga[/i]
008. I speak 1337 better than english
009. I'm daltonic
010. I don't like mirrors
011. [b]I play card games
012. Puppy eyes melt my heart
013. I have a job
014. I love chocolate
015. I can type faster than I speak[/i]
016. My heart is easier to break than my bones
017. I collect things
018. [b]I don't trust people
019. I have a lucky number
020. I'm afraid of knives
021. I start too much projects and never finish them
022. I have more than one pet
023. I can't see anything without my glasses on
024. I play chess
025. I have lied to protect other people
026. I am vegetarian
027. I know the future
028. I prefer books than movies
029. I love to draw
030. I don't have brothers
031. My handwriting is unreadable
032. I believe in extraterrestrial life
033. I don't use Google
034. I can't live without my cellphone
035. I always wear a cap
036. I have more diskettes than books
037. I've never seen a snow day
038. I'm not religious
039. I can understand graffiti tags
040. I'm not afraid of death
041. I go to the bathroom more than 7 times a day
042. I believe the government is into a conspiracy
043. I love videogames
044. I'm an activist for the defense of nature
045. I'm a moody person
046. I always carry a weapon with myself
047. I prefer cold than hot
048. I look for known shapes in the clouds
049. My Internet connection sucks
050. I rarely go to the cinema
051. I'm old
052. I have insomnia
053. I have tattoos
054. I don't know what people expect from me
055. I'm unbeatable in domino
056. I don't like IMs
057. Horror movies scare me
058. I used to eat non-toxic glue
059. I feel rather than think
060. I use Firefox
061. I have hope
062. I have a car
063. I remember what I dream
064. I don't need to use Liquid Paper/ Corrector Pen
065. I'm patriotic
066. I worship the devil
067. I hate Windows XP
068. I like solving crossword puzzles
069. I have a social life
070. I always read the newspaper
071. I checked the box to avoid seeing mature content in dA
072. My I.Q. is above 160
073. I like mexican food
074. I don't give a good impression
075. I get bored easily
076. I'm passing through a period of changes
077. I hate taking a bath
078. I can't go out without makeup
079. I don't know what RAM is
080. I like to talk about politics
081. I have a third eye
082. I'm uninteresting
083. I have a Blog
084. I have to take pills
085. I have lots of CDs
086. I always have a dictionary at hand
087. I'm tired of this quiz
088. I care about copyright protection
089. My computer is older than me
090. I have a boyfriend/girlfriend
091. I see dead people
092. I drink tea
093. I have a good memory
094. I've never been to a concert
095. I enter to my house through the window
096. When I was a child, I wanted to be an astronaut
097. I don't watch TV
099. I have invisible friends
100. I love FurAffinity.
Thought I'd give one of these things a shot. Thought I'd add the italics bit for clarification and amusement.
INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Copy this whole list into your journal (including the instructions, so that other people can understand what it is about).
2. Bold the things that are true about you.
[ b ] Bold [ /b ]
3. Whatever you don't bold are false
4. Italicize the things that are definitely false.
[ i ] Italics [ /i ]
001. I like laser pointers
002. I don't drink water
003. I believe in world peace
004. I sleep with a plushie
005. I'm ambidextrous
006. People accept me how I am
007. I'm addict to anime/manga[/i]
008. I speak 1337 better than english
009. I'm daltonic
010. I don't like mirrors
011. [b]I play card games
012. Puppy eyes melt my heart
013. I have a job
014. I love chocolate
015. I can type faster than I speak[/i]
016. My heart is easier to break than my bones
017. I collect things
018. [b]I don't trust people
019. I have a lucky number
020. I'm afraid of knives
021. I start too much projects and never finish them
022. I have more than one pet
023. I can't see anything without my glasses on
024. I play chess
025. I have lied to protect other people
026. I am vegetarian
027. I know the future
028. I prefer books than movies
029. I love to draw
030. I don't have brothers
031. My handwriting is unreadable
032. I believe in extraterrestrial life
033. I don't use Google
034. I can't live without my cellphone
035. I always wear a cap
036. I have more diskettes than books
037. I've never seen a snow day
038. I'm not religious
039. I can understand graffiti tags
040. I'm not afraid of death
041. I go to the bathroom more than 7 times a day
042. I believe the government is into a conspiracy
043. I love videogames
044. I'm an activist for the defense of nature
045. I'm a moody person
046. I always carry a weapon with myself
047. I prefer cold than hot
048. I look for known shapes in the clouds
049. My Internet connection sucks
050. I rarely go to the cinema
051. I'm old
052. I have insomnia
053. I have tattoos
054. I don't know what people expect from me
055. I'm unbeatable in domino
056. I don't like IMs
057. Horror movies scare me
058. I used to eat non-toxic glue
059. I feel rather than think
060. I use Firefox
061. I have hope
062. I have a car
063. I remember what I dream
064. I don't need to use Liquid Paper/ Corrector Pen
065. I'm patriotic
066. I worship the devil
067. I hate Windows XP
068. I like solving crossword puzzles
069. I have a social life
070. I always read the newspaper
071. I checked the box to avoid seeing mature content in dA
072. My I.Q. is above 160
073. I like mexican food
074. I don't give a good impression
075. I get bored easily
076. I'm passing through a period of changes
077. I hate taking a bath
078. I can't go out without makeup
079. I don't know what RAM is
080. I like to talk about politics
081. I have a third eye
082. I'm uninteresting
083. I have a Blog
084. I have to take pills
085. I have lots of CDs
086. I always have a dictionary at hand
087. I'm tired of this quiz
088. I care about copyright protection
089. My computer is older than me
090. I have a boyfriend/girlfriend
091. I see dead people
092. I drink tea
093. I have a good memory
094. I've never been to a concert
095. I enter to my house through the window
096. When I was a child, I wanted to be an astronaut
097. I don't watch TV
099. I have invisible friends
100. I love FurAffinity.
Sifting through the archives...
Posted 18 years agoWell, I admit it's quite interesting, going through my old poetry. I've posted a few of them, but not too many. I do plan on uploading (plenty) more, but it seems like it would be good to do it gradually, so that potentially interested furs don't lose out on it.
By the way, feel free to tell me what you think of what I've uploaded. I'm curious to see how people would react.
By the way, feel free to tell me what you think of what I've uploaded. I'm curious to see how people would react.
