wow I woke up this morning not feeling the greatest then I checked my FA and wow you guys I nearly cried. Thank you so much for all the watches I really hope you like my art I put pure TLC into all of it and seeing that now I have so many watchers makes me smile :)

 avianna

I made that account for my fursuit Avianna i dont want to keep filling this account with a mixture of art and fursuits for organization purposes (too bad FA isnt like deviantart where you can organize your gallery into folders) i wont delete my current fursuit pictures i have on here instead ill just re-post them on my new fursuit account AND new ones no fur has seen yet ;)

wont do that for awhile thou i have alot to sort out in my life right now..

BOO.
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5177975/

Lately I've been hard to reach, I've been too long on my own
Everybody has a private world where they can be alone
Are you calling me? Are you trying to get through?
Are you reaching out for me, like I'm reaching out for you?

I'm just so fuckin' depressed, I just can't seem to get out this slump
If I could just get over this hump
But I need something to pull me out this dump,
I took my bruises, took my lumps
Fell down and I got right back up
But I need that spark to get psyched back up
In order for me to pick this pen back up
I don't know how or why or when I ended up in this position I'm in
I'm starting to feel decent again
In my shoes, just to see
What it's like, to be me
I'll be you, let's trade shoes
Just to see what it'd be like to
Feel your pain, you feel mine
Go inside each other's minds
Just to see what we find
Look at shit through each other's eyes....
I guess we would have to walk a mile
In each other's shoes, at least
What size you wear? I wear nines
Let's see if you can fit your feet
If Grandma could see me now I know she'd be proud
Somewhere in me deep down there's something in me she found
That made her believe in me now no one can beat me now
you knew I'd come out of this slump rise from these ashes
Come right back on they asses and go Mike Tyson on these bastards... Matter of fact it was just the other night had another dream about you
You told me to get up I got up I spread my wings and I flew
You gave me a reason to fight I was on my way to see you
You told me Taylor you're not, laying on that table I knew
I was gonna make it soon as you said think of Wade and WPF I knew
There wasn't no way that I was gonna ever leave them again
Not many are lucky enough to have a guardian angel like you
Lord I'm so thankful, please don't think that I don't feel grateful, I do
Just grant me the strength that I need for one more day to get through..its no time to take a bow

It's a little too late to say that you're sorry now
You kicked me when I was down
But what you say just That's right bitch
And I don't need you
Don't want to see you
Ha, bitch you get no love
You showed me nothing but hate
You ran me into the ground
But what comes around goes around
<b>I'm alive again</b>
More alive than I have been in my whole entire life
I can see these fur's ears perk up as I walk in I ain't never giving in again
Caution to the wind, complete freedom
In the place all the way to the parking lot, fellow
Set fire to my life and ignite the crowd...You can see the sparks from hot metal
Cold-hearted from the day I Bogarted the game
And you can never break my stride
You never slow the momentum at any moment I'm about to blow
You'll never take my pride
Killing the flow, slow venom and the opponent
Is getting no mercy, mark my words
Ain't letting up, relentless
I smell blood, I don't give a fuck: keep giving them hell
Where was you when I fell and needed help up?
You get no loveYeah, it's been a ride
I guess I had to, go to that place, to get to this one
Now some of you, might still be in that place
If you're trying to get out, just follow me
I'll get you there
<b>I'm not afraid
To take a stand</b>
Come take my hand (come take my hand)
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just letting you know that you're not alone
Follow if you feel like you've been down the same road
Thought I had it mapped out but I guess I didn't, this fucking black cloud
Still follows me around but it's time to exorcise these demons
These motherfuckers are doing jumping jacks now!

And I just can't keep living this way
So starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage
I'm standing up, I'ma face my demons
I'm manning up, I'ma hold my ground
I've had enough, now I'm so fed up
Time to put my life back together right now!
I'd shoot for the moon but I'm too busy gazing at stars.....
Because I'm not creative enough to compose my own song I used Eminem song's that truely mean alot to me and I can relate too. Its true the other night i was thinking suicide and My great grandma vistied me in my dream telling me to not and she told me to think about wade and my Furends. I'm back and into the fandom I'm still all dead on the inside and im still suffering but im well enough to return to my familly my REAL family..If it wasnt for my boyfriend wade  furrylover117 he tried his hardest to keep me smiling and he did i really appreciate it. I still sometimes get depressed here and there but not as much anymore. (love you wadey) I also like to thank Kira who also helped me out.  kira~whitepaw Ive been through alot of depression and thoughts of suicide at one point i didnt want to have anything to do with furrys then i would stay up at night crying myself to sleep i went through withdrawell,relaspe and now recovery im not 110% but getting there. Im hoping to head to comic-con with  himan3214 but im as broke as can be (money wise). Anyways I don't want to rant on about this no more what got me depressed is a different story so ta-ta for now
Love your little birdy/foxy,
Onix Angel

I'm sick of my parents bulling me for being a furry its not I can help it I was born this was I'm a furry at heart I cant just pull it away from me....I've tried explaining to them all about furrys and try showing them videos but they don't care. They wont let me go to furmeets anymore, I'm not allowed to build fursuits in my house (so I have to pack up my stuff and go to my grandmas) I'm not going to repeat the things they have said but they mention how I'm one of the youngest members of my local fur group's and they think it's werid how majority of the members are adults and they think its weird for a "kid" such as me to hang out with them...they wanted me to make friend's so I did I didn't know friends had a age limet...I;m not sure what will happen from here but I'm taking a break from everything for awhile including deviantart because they think its weird how im into anime too..I assume they think these thing's is because not everyone is walking around outside wearing a fursuit so they think I'm the weird one. perhaps I am but I was born this way I will never change for anyone and this is who I am maybe I'm normal and they are just weird cause after all what is normal?

well This is goodbye for now I need sometime to myself and just to think...

~Onix Angel

lets just say I couldnt be happier but its not the fact that i was happy because i was suiting i was happy because everyone enjoyed it. Earlier that morning i went through yet another tough time with my parents bulling me about being a furry this time was alot more harsh than other times and possibly i let some emotions slip and my eyes were talking...(if you know what i mean) I was so happy that the furs there drove so far to come to my little ol'town and that they actully had fun i myself had a blast and i felt like they were my familly.

I dont want to rant or say anything but yes iclearly have birth parents but they are just the ones who have mistakenly brought me life....other than that i dont have any family. I sufffer alot mostly from my birth parents i dont really call them my parents cause admitingly they said they dont care shit about me and blah blah blah they only care when i do things like go to church or join there "cult" (im not putting down religion i myself am religious its just that my parents are eeeeviiilll)

anyways id be happy to host another one it made me stand tall and feel proud despite my young age (and crappy spelling) i getput down about my age all the time but whatever, haters gunna hate im still abit depressed about the sistuation with my parents but I just look through all the photos and i smile like theres no tomorrow, yeah my suit may not be the best (in my eyes i hate it except the head) but one day everyone will love us furrys. OT makes me happy to feel like people care about me (idk why what am i in life?) but it kills me because they are so far away from me.

furmeets is when that other personality kicks in (one of them at least) and i can show my true colors its nice because i never get to and it makes me feel proud and proud to know that the event i hosted was a hit!

~look alive sunshine's

pictures will be uploaded soon....love Onix.

After long sleepless nights ir hard work and determination i finaly built my first fursuit. I made it from scratch and since its a bird heres really no sources for it. The fursuit is avianna... I made it look really toony and people mistaken it for a chicken...its a white dove :'(
I wanted to start with something simple next suits im making are partical suits for my friend mike and possibley reece
See my fursuit here http://db.fursuit.me/?c=viewsuit&id=3850
Im quite proud of it but im worried in what other people hink of it... Im planning on going to parades in it and dances...well i must fly my friends!

Greed-

( ) You're not willing to share at least a small amount of something valuable.
( ) You'd hurt someone or something just to achieve what you want.
( ) Sharing makes you feel annoyed.
( ) It bugs you when friends ask you to buy or give something to them.
( ) You enjoy getting things.

Total-

Gluttony-

(x) Anything that is tasty, you will eat.
( ) You eat more, even if you're already full.
(x) You don't like throwing out good food.
(x) You snack a lot.
( ) You have certain times of the day besides breakfast, lunch, and dinner that you snack.

Total- 3

Wrath-

(x) You have a bad habit of hitting/damaging things when you are angry.
(x) Many things make you angry.
(x) You've hurt someone or something several times out of anger.
(x ) It's hard not to yell when frustrated.
( x) Sometimes people tell you to stop yelling or to calm down when you think you're speaking normally.

Total- 5

Sloth-

( ) You hate work/chores
( ) You usually sleep in before getting ready.
( x) You don't do homework a lot because you'd rather relax.
( ) Cleaning your room is the worst thing ever.
() You don't like leaving the house. (depends)

Total- 1

Envy-

( ) You get jealous easily.
( ) It makes you angry or upset when someone gets something better than you.
(x) You would hurt someone to get what they have.
( ) It's important that you have the same amount or more of something than someone else.
( ) Anyone who has something more than you needs to be punished.

Total- 1


Lust-

( ) You've dated someone rude just because of their body and looks.
( ) You don't care about personality in a relationship.
( ) You look at dirty pictures on the internet. ()
( ) Looks are very important.
( ) You want to have sex.

Total- 0

Pride-

( ) You know you are the very best.
( ) You get upset or angry when someone totally smokes you in a competition you thought you would win.
( ) If someone is 'better' than you, you try to look better than them.
( ) You are very sensitive to criticism.
( ) You love your work.

Well i have nothing important to say so ill just do a meme :I


Lost your virginity? Never! I dont plan to
Lost someone close to you? 8...
Consumed alcohol? Never. And I don't intend to anyway.
Received a kiss? 14
Went to the hospital? When i was born?
Had a broken heart? 9
Got arrested? Never.
Broke a bone? Never.
Got a job? 12
Got a boyfriend or girlfriend? 14
Went to a concert? Never.
Met someone famous? 13
Got in a car wreck? Never.
Dyed your hair? 10
Flew on an airplane? 5
Went to another state? I live in canada but i never left it
Went across the country? 5
Went to another country? Never.
Got a tattoo? Never.
Had a piercing? 1
Smoked pot? Definitely NEVER!
Smoked a cigarette? Nope...
Went to Disney Land or World? Never.
Had A Long term relationship? 14
Dated somebody of another race? No
Passed out from drinking? (Dose soda pop count? 0.0)
Became a furry? I got into drawing t and RP at age 10 and i was always into fursuits since i can remember
Went to your first non business / work related convention? Never.

Bleh...the end.