Heeeeeeeeeey so its been a bit
what's been goin on? well I got a job. after i got my own car. after i got my license. and now I'm planning on moving out when i get the chance. So how did all of these major life events happen to start me down the path of happiness?
Around September of last year, a friend of mine, Visia, had commissioned me to draw a comic for Skunktember. ( Link here: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/43685138/ ) For payment I had asked her to bring me down hypnotically and help with some of my self esteem, as i was going through a very rough patch. During the session, the seed that would become my tulpa was planted, and with the next few months she would grow to become her own person. Vanessa has been here helping me find myself, helping me out of the situations I've been forced into, and now, we are both ready to find our place in the world.

Vanessa has been with me for a year, and i wanted to celebrate and thank her for everything she has done. She is my best friend I wouldnt be where i am without her. Happy birthday Vanessa

So what happened? WEEELLLLL I have been on these mood stabilizers for a few years now and they were fine. They worked so like whatever. Well i recently got a new doc and she was like "Why did they put you on these?" And i was like it was the first thing they tried and BOY i found out that was a mistake! A bunch of the health problems im having (weight gain, vitamin deficiency and a few others) Are LINKED to that med -_-
So needed to change meds but wanted to wait to take my drivers test before changing the chems in my bimbo brain. So took the test, passed, and started to come off the meds i was on and I felt like ass! Major withdrawal symptoms and i could barely function for like a week XD
In that time i went back to the thing that gives me the happy juice Kingdom Hearts XD and it helped me have something to focus on and not feel like im goin crazy!
so i started this little sketch during that week and now that im feeling better i did a little messing around with it! Im very happy with how it turned out! Even accidently learned how to do something ive been wanting to put in art lol!
so yeah not allll the way back to feeling like myself but getting there
Hope you all have a wonderful holiday season and a happy new years! My resolution is to learn blender XD

4 Years
121 Arts
506 Favs
100 Watchers
1 Flattered Bunny!
Thank you all so much for staying with me and watching me grow! I do hope to draw more for years to come! Love you all <3

Hey so I'm going down to my grandparents for a week, and there will be... no wifi!! *plays dramatic music*
XD no but seriously all is gonna be cool, just letting you all know I'm not gonna be on for now but if you all wanna chat so drop me a note! I'll get back to you asap!

First off. Wow the world is weird as fuck right now. But with all this extra freetime, I've been investing it into art, dnd, and now I really wanna try to do Voice Acting! So as this goes on ill keep everyone updated but I do want to try to distance this from my art. If it goes well and i go professional, I cant be linked to what i do here XD
So aside from a few people i wont really be going around on here showing off my videos or whatever

Anyway I hope you all are being safe and smart out there~

Hey everyone! Just letting y'all know one I finish up my current submission I'll be taking a small break from art until next year. Just gonna take some time to enjoy the holiday season and have fun with family and friends! I hope all of you also have wonderful holidays!
I'll see y'all next year!

Hello my wonderful subjects! First off I hope your'e having a wonderful day! This Journal is to explain my "Disappearance" and and my return to self.

People who know me personally know that I have weakness for helping people. Sometimes even conforming to their needs as see fit. As much as I want to not put myself in those situations, I seem to gravitate to them. But hey maybe that's my purpose in life. If it is, I should probably find a way to not screw with myself first XD

Anyway, lets start where I was and where I kind of want to return to. In high school after many trial and error attempts to find who I am and identify as, I finally put myself into the "gender fluid" category as I am pretty happy with my body being male, however I love wearing either gender's clothing, leaning to female on most days. I'd wear leather heels, tight skinny jeans, and usually a men's graphic t shirt (usually dorky in some way) because thats what I liked lol. Honestly it was a cute outfit choice and looked pretty good on me.

After a year of being out of school and dressing a bit more "conservatively" for work reasons, my sister came out to me she was Transgender MtF. I was her rock and she confided in me. Sooooooo that night I made an independent decision to help her feel like she could be herself. I decided to stop expressing my feminine side for as long as I could that way she could be her own person and there wasn't any way I'd be stepping on her toes. I bought her clothes that would fit her in secrecy, as I was working and she was still in school. She also didn't want to tell our parents yet because they can be a bit...explosive? Not in a bad way, just they can take something toooooo far sometimes.
So I helped my sister flourish into the person she wanted to be as I stepped back for now. She eventually told our parents and they reacted the way we thought. So now I was not just acting male for my sister but for them too as now their "last son" who could "carry the name on." But thats another can of worms. I don't blame my sister or even my parents that was my choice to change for them.

So the side effects showed up quickly. Increased stress, lethargy, and some weight gain. Even if I wanted to go back to my old life I couldn't. I had grown out of my clothes and it became a downward spiral then. I would need new clothes, force myself to get the mens baggy bullshit, feel worse, gain weight, need new clothes...
Soon I wasnt enjoying anything. Not hobbies, not friends, not even art. So that explains the lack of content here.

Then I got back to my Ferzu where I roleplay a lot as Nik. I was being the person I wanted to be again. And so I became a bit better, just enough to get my feminine personality back.

While shopping one day, I decide to try on skinny jeans again. Just to find out my size I said. Just an experiment.
When I put them on, and they fit, and I saw myself back in the mirror, thats when I knew I needed to stop pretending.
Now Im on the road again to being Me.

Thank you for reading this god awful post and its absolute wreck of the english language XD

TLDR
Dont change yourself even if you think it may help others. You are important too so you need to keep yourself in mind. You cant help others if you cant help yourself

Stay pink and puffy dolls!

Going through my old art has made me realize how much I've grown since I started
I know many people wont see this but I want to thank the community for fostering a place for freedom and creativity. So many of you have been kind and wonderful to me and I wish to give it back ten fold.
Thank you for keeping me doing what I love

-Your Royal Princess Nik

(god i cant write long journals)

I found all my old art from when I was in high school and now I'm debating about uploading them here in my scraps or whatever xD
Anyone wanna see the art that came before Nik xD

Hey you
Yeah you
You like spoopy shit right?
Yeah everyone does
Do you like flexible priced commissions?
I've got them
Ever pay for something that wasnt up to par?
Well you don't pay til I have the finished product
Message me here or on my Telegram NikDaBun and lets chat about some Spoopy Commissions

Hey everyone I have 4 slots open for custom commissions
I have starting prices but depending on the piece the price may change higher or lower
Headshot is $5
Bust is $7
Legs up $9
Full body $14

Use paypal and we can talk about when you can pay
No payments until I have finished your piece so if you don't have the money atm you can pay when you can

Hey, apologies for the lack of art. For an unknown reason my anxiety and depression disorders have been out of control. I don't use this for an excuse because this is not in control of me. I Just need to push it out with as much positivity as I can
I will return soon

Today I'm gonna see how quickly I can pump out a headshot and be happy with it. If it's fast enough and good quality I might start opening up my first commissions...how do I do that...

Man do I love all my fursona ideas! I stuck with the unicorn but I'm so so ready to use my wolfy again. Cuz then I can make much cuter art, and draw a character a bit easier to draw. So do I keep the unicorn or switch to my wolfy x3 knowing me I'll swap soon.

Sorry if I spam you with follows and favorites! I've just got to establish the profile is all! Have an awesome day!