so.. my fiance left me... tried killing myself.. clearly it didnt work.. apparently 120 advil wasnt enough. i guess i didnt think through. i just didnt want to feel pain anymore. before i knew it my advil bottle was empty. *sigh* so alone... was in teh hospital for a little less than a week. put me in as an inpatient in teh hospital... oh well.. so yeah.. if i seem down or dont type well sorry i can barely make out what i write over my tears. sorry. im so so sorry... what did i do wrong? why is she gone? *cries* i cant live without her...

SOOOooo~ i was planning to get my fiances fursuit 100% complete by her febuary open mic since she wanted to do her stand up in fursuit.. well, complications with the mask maker has delayed that, distinctive fabrics lost our order and it wont ship out until febuary.. T______T i feel awful. i promised her id have it all done for her..

so, ive never really asked for help with anything before. ive always been on my own and just fine. But no matter what i do or try to do i cant seem to help her...

long story short, before my fiance met me she was with another guy, who at one point, slammed a door beat her until she was semi-unconcious and raped her. (shocking dramatic yes i know but this is key)

now every time a door slams or if someone hits the door she curls up into the fetal position and cries harder than ive ever seen anyone cry. if u approach her during this period she screams and tries to kick scratch or hit u in any way she can. she said its because that moment scared her so badly and scarred her for life that when that sound (of the door being hit or slammed) occurs she goes into her "hpyer defense mode" as she calls it. Ive never seen someone or something so scared in my life. the fear in her eyes and the way she breathes it breaks my heart..

im just looking for a way to help her overcome this fear. because i will never hurt her, i have never hut her... but it hurts me so bad to se her this way... so if anyone has tips for what i can do... please.. please..

I asked my girlfriend to marry me. after a solid 6 years of relationship, she said yes. no hesitation what so ever. Everything is perfect. i cant ask for a better night. Today, january 8th, the day i met my dearly beloved, she also agreed to be mine forever.

So i decided to sell my custom hats. they'll be a base of 30$ (+shipping) and prices may vary depending on what you want. ears can be either fabric or metal mesh sculpted with fur around it so its still soft to the touch and very light weight. I can do beanie style along with the beanies with ear flaps, you can have dangly things or long bands whatever you want really. im pretty good with making hats.

note me if interested.

So my names Michael. I dont go by mike or mikie or any of that shit. Its michael. I hate labels but if i had to put one on me id say i dress "emo" and act like a "douchbag". being blatantly honest. Im not really a "furry" or anything. Sure i draw animal creatures sometimes, and my girlfriend is a fursuiter but i dont consider myself as being one. labels yet again.

I dont do drugs, but i do smoke cigarettes and drink on occasion. Im emotionally unstable and have a short temper. i get upset easily and get offended even easier.

If you want to know the most important thing about me, its that i love my girlfriend more than life itself. I tear up when i think about how i almost lost her, and i wont ever let that happen again. shes my world. I will do anything for her, and never love someone other than her. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRkgH7Uu-hA describes how we are. but the only difference is that id give my arm, my leg, my heart, eyes, soul, anything for her. my bride. my queen. my life.

Im really into videogames especially W.O.W. and i hate when people bash games. u know what? if u dont like wow cool, i dont want to hear it. i enjoy teh game. peace.

i love piercings and tattoos. i have 12 piercings and 3 tattoos.

im friendly if ur friendly to me.

feel free to chat any time, ask questions, whatever. ill always respond.

im looking to spoil my girl, its our 6 year anniversary, im planning to ask her to marry me on christmas, so no diamond rings yet guys hahaha but, i need some ideas of what to get her for our anniversary? im hoping to get some sort of jewlery because i know how much she loves shiny things..

so im looking at things that are like, hearts/diamonds but are like, TWO hearts in one? as in my heart is hers, forever..

im thining about this http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images.....500_AA300_.jpg

but i dont know if this is good enough? any ideas?

Lets just say, im promoting myself (self vote) to ultimate boyfriend. I just invested in a fursuit mask commisison for my girl from her favorite studio www.donthugcacti.com.

this is incredible. shes been going through such a rough time, i hope this makes it easier on her. since money has been a huge issue since she was kicked out of the house.


love you baby girl<3

just bored. my gf isnt here right now. and id love to talk to someone?

msn? anyone?