After a long year in Afghanistan im getting to go home. i fly out today and will be home a about a week or so. I miss my mate so much and family i cant wait to see everyone again!

Been to damn long.

Hey guys, I know I'm not that social on this site but I have to vet somewhere besides my mate...I just don't want him worrying.

A few people on this site know I'm in the military and some even know how hard it is to keep a civilian life while you have a military life you have to worry about. Recently I was deployed to Afghanistan and currently in country and I just need to vent about some of the things I've seen and what's going on here. If anyone can give me some advice about how to take care of a few of my issues id like the advice.

First, I'm in a route clearance company. For those that don't know about that basically my company's job is to find bombs on the road and take care of them. I'm one of the mechanics that roll out the wire to help them when they get blown up. so far since I have been here in Afghanistan I've gone on 3 missions. My first one was the most "exciting" for me. A couple dead bodies, 3 explosions, 2 recoveries, small arms fire, and animals on the side of the road that had been blown up. Needless to say it was an awakening for me. To see that within a week of being in Afghanistan was ill be honest, it scares me. My second mission we had some guys rollover a vehicle and 2 were injured but just small stuff.
And know my last mission I saw a kid waving at us while we were driving by and he ran after us, one of the gunners threw him some food and the kid caught it but landed in a ditch and detonated a 20lbs IED...the gunner is in mental health cause he blames himself for the kids death. I'm just worried for my battles (fellow soldiers) and hope we all make it back safe.

Second, I miss my sister and my boyfriend. I don't want to worry my mate with all of this so I tell him only part of what goes on here but I keep thinking what could happen while I'm gone. we had a small problem while I was in transit to Afghanistan where he came to see me before I left and then he stopped by one of his friends house to say hello...he told me he still loved her and that he wanted to stay there instead of going home because he doesn't like our roommate. I honestly don't either because he puts to much of a strain on our relationship. but the thing I was worried about was the fact that because of our roommate my mate isn't happy at home and wanted to stay with someone else that he loved. I might just be over reacting but it worries me. My mate is having trouble with said roommate and wants to move out so he can get away from the douche and go to college and advance his life.

Third, when I was in training for Deployment I learned that my 12 years old sister had been cutting herself since she was 11 because of the shit our mom put us through and know is currently in a mental hospital so she can get help.

Fourth, a couple of guys in my unit know that I'm gay and tell me that if I need to talk to someone they will be there but I don't want to make them uncomfortable or freak them out with my problems. Also I want to come out to the rest of my platoon but I know a few would treat me like the plague and one that will defiantly try to get me in trouble for being the way I am cause he is so homophobic. I'm just tired of the gay slurs and jokes. Not saying I don't have a thick skin. I just gets old ya know.

Fifth, I know I said I missed my mate but I think my loneliness is what is causing some of my issues. I talk to him twice a week if I can and my mom, and dad but when they don't pick up I just have to try later that week cause we have designated call times and limited time we can stay on.

This are the thoughts that are weighing down on my shoulders the most atm and no one seems to have anything useful to say about any of the problems.

I'm not a guy that whines and complains about every little thing that happens, or a whiney femboy. (no offense to anyone that is a femboy), I'm just having a tough time with my first deployment and need some advice and someone to talk to. I think im slipping into a depressive state but its to early to tell. I'm trying to stay happy and look on the bright side but when you've seen shit like kids blown up its kinda hard to do that. I just need some help. If anyone can help I'd appreciate it.

Name: Nava Shida
Age: 18
DOB: August 13, 1991
Height: 6'3
Species: Wolf/Husky
Gender: Male
Sexuallity: Homosexual
Fur: Dark gray and white
Hair/Style: Dark gray, short length with bangs in face
Eye Color: Blue
Accories: Right ear piercing, dog tags with a rainbow silencer
Clothes: Normally shirtless but wears tight shirts to show off muscles, regular blue or black

Personality: Honest,loyal,kind, and considerate. Loves vidoe games, hiking, swimming, and clubing. He's a really kind and open book person and loves to be with his friends.

Hope this is enough. ;)

HOLY SHIT! Almost time to get back home and be done with ft. jackson but tonight im going out with one of the furries from my platoon and we're going to party at the club! wish luck on having fun even now i always do!

*Howls* FORGET FORT JACKSON!

Hey everyone im pissed the fuck off, cause of this fucking military bullshit, honestly im ready to go punch my fucking sergeants in the face and tell them to suck my god damn gay dick and be done with it, between my sister down in arkansas being taken into custody by her grandparents and missing her court dates so i couldnt testify and know my other sister maxine is down in flordia cause my dad lost his court case with her between her no good mother who let her get mulested o btw maxine is fucking 5 years old! On top of all that shit my fucking mate is saying he is unhappy and cheated on me again and now they are saying i might get to go home for the labor day weekend this september but they might not, ITS FUCKING BULLSHIT! I want a god damn straight anwser and i want to be with people that i dont have to fucking hide from. No one here fucking listens to me or any of the leadership here cause they are either older or think i dont deserve the rank they gave us or think that they dont have to, and then when i tryed to post my story it wouldnt work which just fucking added to my stress and fucking anger/depression. Im so close to the fucking edge its killing me, and i just found out the money i sent my mate for his ccar he never got so now i got 200 dollars floating around somewhere and he is scared about it cause his tires are balding and there isnt anything i can do about it cause im fucking here and unable to comfort him from this fucking shithole they call fort fucking jackson! I'm just about at my breaking point i cant count how many nights i just hide in the freaking bathroom crying cause the fucking world is closing around me and crushing me, hell the only reason i joined this fucking shit job was for my sisters so i could take care of them and now i cant even see them or talk to them cause they arent with my mom and dad anymore! Fuck this shit!

Hey everyone i know ive been gone awhile and i apologize for it but when your in the military it happens, just bought my labtop and trying to get internet so i can come back but as of right now im hacking my way in threw some military buds connection so idk how long ill be back if any after this.

Here is a quick update of what has happened to me lately.

1. got a computer
2. passed my first test with a 96 percent
3. finished my first story for posting purposes and hope to post it soon if i can, and probably a couple of sequals
4. my bf cheated on me with his x but we still together and still in love
5. sad and depressed cause of the stupid army as always
6. made some new friends here but i cant be honest with them for certain reasons
7. my sisters adoption hearing in court was Aug 2nd and the military didnt do shit to help me with it
8. my other sister has an std cause her mom not mine had her bf mulest her, she's okay but might have to go back to her mom if my dad doesnt win in court
9. im moving in to an apt with my bf when i get home :)
10. i miss all of you
11. mom is off drugs as far as i know
12. but her husband is an abusive acholic
13. and finally my Bday is August 13th ill be 19 :)
14. one more, :p im a squad leader here but get no respect until i show them my mean side


thats what has happened lately in a nut shell and i wish i had someone to talk to about it but here i cant even talk to the chaplian so im having issues with cooperation and shit.

omg i need something to do someone talk to me plz ill do anything to have some socialization atm.

Does anyone know when this dumb ass policy is going to be past and gone I'm tired of tell my friends that they shouldn't

WARNING GRAPHIC LANGUAGE!

Hey guys, well all i got to say is NEVER JOIN THE ARMY OR ARMED FORCES!

My recruiter just screwed the motherfucking hell out of me, instead of me leaving in September, I'm leaving in Fucking June after I've got court dates, dhs, a job, and everything else worked out for summer and this MF is just said fuck you and the damn court cases for your damn sisters coustidy. Then my mom is just getting out of surgury today and she wont have anyone to take care of her except her drunk of a husband that cant do SHIT beside drink and bitch! So know I'm not packed my mom is screwed not only in court but also fucking physically, and on top of that THEY BREACHED MY CONTRACT.

The only bit of advice I have for anyone that is thinking or is wanting to go into the military is DONT FUCKING DO IT!

I'll see you guys in 13-14 weeks if I can't get to a computer or a laptop. I'll miss all you guys and I hope yall have fun for me this summer cause I'm going to be to damn busy for anything besides studies.

Cya, from a friend! *hugs*

Hey everyone I was just wondering if anyone knew when the next con was so I could c if I could go, or if there are any in or near Arkansas?

Hi everyone, ignore this if you want but I'm just so happy I had to right something or tell somebody.

I'm at my bf house and we're having a great time and we just got done watching avatar:the last airbender. He thinks that me being a furry is a bit weird but he still loves me we've been going out for about 2 months now and things couldn't be better. Honestly I think he'd be a leopard ,or panther if he ever got into this but as of right now he's perfect!

Well he's tired atm so I'm going to head to bed nite yall!

Holy crap I got back from florida this monday and let me tell you if you've never been you got to go. I went to Florida for my schools drill team competition for armed and unarmed colorguard, armed and unarmed regulation and exibihition, and inspection. All in all we did okay out of 150 schools in the nation, unfortunatly we didnt get any trophies :( but here are the scores;

7th place Armed Color Guard
12th place Unarmed Color Guard
10th place Armed Exhibition
11th place Unarmed Exhibition
My team 11th place Armed Regulation
14th place Unarmed Regulation
24th place Armed Inspection
26th place Unarmed Inspection
15th place Overall Drill Team!

I had so much fun and the mall OMG, lets just say im flat broke now, went swimming in the hotel pool and we had a chicken tourny and me and my gal friend Monikitty (monica) won 5/6 fights we won the championship according to major cause we got triple teamed when we lost LOL, and nothing beats the beach when the sun is setting and your laying down watching the waves. Man I sat there for hours just staring at it and the starts the came out later, wish yall could have seen it was so beautiful, but anyways thats what i did this weekend and i can't wait to go back :)

Man this sucks not having a comp all of you ar so lucky, Oh i finally got soul silver and a DS Lite hehehe im trying to figure out about stuff but i was never really good with pkmon games,still working on the story zigger, and i got bored and wrote a little short story about a half demon wolf and a human (kind inuyasha themed) but my friends like it. If i ever get to a scanner ill post them but as of right now im have trouble getting to a computer.

Oh.. and get this im in the military btw and i went to drill this past weekend and i get bombarded with questions about my sexuallity by my 1SG and Plt Sergeant and i told them i wasn't homosexual but some DUMBASS at school decided to tell an army recruiter about me and my boyfriend and now their investigating me! AHAHAHA, then to top it off my bf didnt want to cause me trouble over the military so he broke up with me. MAN I'M PISSED!

Anyways thats how ive been since i last got on.

Sorry to here about your anemia zigger.

My friends scanner broke and she's lost her flash drive so now i cant post any of my stories :(, Sorry guys ill post the first chapter when she finds it or i get a new flash drive.