This has been one of the worst years for me emotionally. I forced myself in to spaces I shouldn't have and around people who don't want me near them. It's been tough dealing with all of this nonsense, and what's worse is that I've taken it all out on myself through working egregious hours to ignore the feelings I've kept inside. It's over now. I feel as if I've come to the proper conclusions and am ready to move on from everything that's kept me stunted. Hell, I can't believe I allowed negativity to control what I believe myself to be! Some people will just never like you. It's a harsh reality, but not the worst situation imaginable.

IM A PRETTY POSITIVE PERSON. The more negative emotions you allow around you, the worse you'll end up becoming. I'm not the worst thing alive. IM NOT A PIECE OF SHIT.
Ugh, anyway I'm ready to get back in to drawing smut and stupid oc shit again, just don't expect a good upload schedule as I still work pretty tough hours.

If you're reading this then get it together. Your life, your positive energy, your motivations, keep them strong. Be Strong.

As always I'll be posting similar journals on all of my accounts with the same title. It's to ensure y'all don't read this more than once.

I know I don't post a lot here as I've been focusing my stupid OC's for awhile now, but I will eventually come back to the weird shit. lmao

ANYWAY

Whew, working on a lot. No New info on when I'll take suggestions or reopen my requests.

Every time I open requests I always get some outside shit like life and work getting in the way that demotivates me, also I work out and game. The usual. I have a social life and friends and just don't have the commitment time necessary! I do want to try some extra stuff next month, so be on the lookout as this account will have the shit again eventually! xrarebearx will continue to be the account used ONLY for my OC's and vanilla shit.

NOW! I work a lot, like a lot. I like working. It keeps my mind focused and I make decent money, BUT I AM ALWAYS OPEN FOR COMMISSIONS. Ask for the sheet and hmu. Paid work will always get my full attention and be delivered within the week.

I KNOW a lot of people don't stick around but I thank you all for EVERYONE who visits my page and likes my garbage, on ANY ACCOUNTS. Thankies!

I don't think I've ever changed? Sure I get upset and depressed but I move past it! This will be my year, I know it will!

I plan on making more new content of my OC's and the steamy stuff too! I also wanna do more outside of my comfort zone as I feel it'll continue to elevate my attitude.

NO MORE FEELINGS. NO MORE CRYING. NO MORE UNDERESTIMATING MY OWN WORTH. I. AM. DONE. I want to draw and I want to move on from everything making me feel worse. I will choose to be better this year. Mark. My. Words.

I'll be posting this on all of my accounts so you all can get a good idea of what's to come as some accounts are bigger than others and so you all can get a good idea of why I've slacked so hard this year.
I AM BACK. Though I'm mostly gonna work on more of my own art versus drawing for others. I will OBVIOUSLY do commissions.

Uhhh, where to start? I lost myself again, AGAIN. It's so funny how you can have everything and just lose it all so quickly. I think it's my fault! I got with someone over March and ended up devoting more and more time to their endeavors and my old habits of overworking myself for trash kicked in. I stopped working on my art and ultimately pushed aside anything that didn't really make me money (gaming doesn't count.)
Requests were hard to work on when I have someone constantly asking to call or play something stupid. Well, They're gone. Last month marked the end of our time together and I blamed myself again.
It's always me. I could've worked harder. I can't believe I didn't give them all of my attention. They were definitely right to abandon me. I'm the worst.
Lmao LMAO.

I doubted I could even work on anything for the past month or even do ANYTHING! Desperately grasping onto the worst options imaginable. I finally gave up on myself again as this ALWAYS happens.
I know better. I KNOW I'M BETTER. I've always been a hard worker and will continue to put my best into those who I know will hurt me. It's who I am. NOW! I'm not gonna be alright for a little bit longer and some of my works will probably be affected by my feelings towards the future. I have hope that things will get better but only if I continue to work on myself and my endeavors! Remember to always be kind to people! Things won't always go your way and YOU HAVE TO BE POSITIVE. Negativity will always reflect the sorry soul you have, ya' know? I love myself. I love who I am, and I will always hold the past close to my heart as it's what defines me today.

Next year I plan on working hard on what I can bring to the table. TO YOU WONDERFUL FURRIES. I've also decided that I really do wish to be a part of your community. I've always talked about how I don't hate furries but I hate what most are painted out to be. I wouldn't wanna be one! BUT NOW I DO WANT TO. I want this. I will work harder on my OC going forward. I AM A RABBIT.
Not to be confused with Shiloh, her and Neitz are PERFECT. I am a flawed bunny looking to BE BETTER. I. WILL. BE. BETTER.

That's all. I hope you all understand why I fucked up so hard this year. Every year. I'm tired of working myself to exhaustion for people who'll just leave me behind so easily. I'm ready to get myself back.
I'm ready to finally let go. 2024 CAN KISS MY ASS. I'm happy.

TL;DR: FORGET ALL POSTED ABOVE AND LETS MAKE THE NEXT YEAR SOMETHING GREAT! - Neava/RairBairity