i need to start over on here and pretty much everywhere.
i need to clear my head..

so i made a new account.
Everything on here will be deleted and a lot moved over to there.

account:  chisabre

if you really want too go watch me over there
ill make an introduction journal and all that shit
*sigh*

I'm done
I don't care
I'm just... Done
No more updates, no more posts, no more streams because I don't plan on being around much longer.

If you're just gonna comment "you're weak get over yourself" please keep it to yourself because I really don't care anymore...

I know I'm weak
I'll never be strong enough to deal with the shit I'm dealing with.
And it's not about weakness.
It's to stop the pain I've been going through for months with no outlet.

Hell, my own fucking family doesn't even accept me.

So why even try right?

okay people who are just here to start shit go away.
i dont need it.
i dont need people bitching at me for how i feel.
i dont need to be send into another anxiety attack over stupid shit.

just go away.

i think im done with FA for a while.
no more streams for a few weeks.
no more updates... i just dont care...

Yeah, i know this is selfish and whatnot but i need a break from drama.
sorry guys

---

Thanks guys for supporting me taking a break. At least I know i still have some friends on here. <33

okay so i started streaming movies when i stream art now since im tired of my music
and i need more movies to stream :3

if you have any suggestions let me know :D
MUST BE PG13 OR UNDER

list:
The Emperor's New Groove
Spirit – Stallion of the Cimmarron
Lilo & Stitch
Quest for Camelot
Bartok the Magnificent
any and all pokemon movies
Scott Pilgrim

http://churchs-best-friend.tumblr.c.....nd-awkward-and

:333

**if theres anything you guys want me to talk about just ask :D **

So I really REALLY wanna start a vlog type thing? Like…I wanna video random shit and moments with my friends and rants and how I’m dealing with everyday life and shit like that but I don’t think anyone would care. Should I just do it anyways? I think it would be fun but idk?

how many of my 940 watchers on here are actually active.
hmm.

**and by that i mean who hasn't de-activated their account**

**before you read: these are my personal opinions. If you dont like it i do not care. if you comment something like "well this is why youre wrong" it will be deleted and you will be blocked. thanks**

i hate them.
unless its something super fucking unique that someone is going to look at and go "hmm... maybe i should check if this is a species or just a hybrid" then go the fuck away with your closed species bullshit.
"It's a dog like creature with a long fluffy tail and tall ears" that is not a fucking unique species go sit the fuck down.

See... that isnt even the worse of it though.
I see people get bitched at because they made a fursona or character that is like that "closed species" when they never new it fucking existed and then get harassed and reported over something so fucking stupid when it's just a basic fucking character.

People need to learn to cool their fucking jets. fuck.

*rant over*

Im just curious who all is going :D
I'll be there friday - Sunda and probably fursuiting the whole time :333

aldksfasdkhf I hate how I can come up with really nice looks for adopts and really nice color pallets but I CANT THINK OF MARKINGS OR ANYTHING WTF I HATE THIS

**this is just so i have somewhere to put this so i dont overload the submission txt when i stream**

HOW THE DONATIONS FOR THE WAITRESS BASE WORKS!!
Free / no donation: just an adopt / your fursona in this style
$1-5: back ref included
$6-10: eye and mouth ref included
$11-15: add one outfit
$16-20: Add another outfit
$40: Full ref! everything above included plus 3 expressions and other details

i guess this would make it PWYW? but idk since there is a free option *shrug* idk

ADOPT RULES / GUIDE!
-Species
-Gender (no C-boys unless you yourself are trans. i have my reasons)
-hair style
-tail style
-accessories! **horns, glasses, fangs, wings, etc**

PLEASE DO NOT COMMENT ON THIS JOURNAL! PLEASE COMMENT ON THE STREAM SUBMISSION!! thank you



i would fucking kill for that waitress base.
I know its used a lot but i really really like it and i would really love to see what i could make with it.
eh..its just a thought right? *sighs*

---

ALSO!! if anyone has a creative **or survival with the option of creative** minecraft server they wouldnt mind me joining let me know!!

so im getting really bored on the server i am on and im wondering if anyone has a server they wouldnt mind me joining?

**just a thing, it has to be creative or at least survival with the option to turn it creative if wanted**

thanks :3

i need practice and i also need something to do

so im gonna be offering 2 free felt badges.
**buyer has to pay shipping though. US only. should only be $2-3**

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/15414387/ <-- example

Nothing too overly complicated at the moment since im still practicing but post your ref and ill choose within the week :3

Spread this around of you want too. It not necessary but it helps :3

---

Just a couple rules
-dont be upset if you done win. I also offer commissions on them if you really want one.
-NO C-boys. Unless you yourself are trans and your fursona represents you. I am **technically** a C-boy and i am NOT a fucking fetish.

if anyone on my watchlist if from michigan and lives within driving distance of Frankenmuth, January 25th is the annual Frankenmuth snowfest furmeet. just so everyone knows :3

So i went to the doctors yesterday and i got carpel tunnel in my wrist pretty bad.
So i need to try and take it easy with the drawing for a while until i can get a brace.
This also means i wont be able to crochet for a while because that hurts my wrist the most.
Im gonna try and get a brace here soon but i cant promise anything because of money problems. D:

Like i said before: If you donated and are still waiting on art i can refund it if you really want me too and to those that did an art trade i still got my list so ill get to them as soon as i can.

sorry guys D:

im sorry i didnt get the chance to stream today. My wrist as been acting up more and more and im about to go to the doctors about it soon **hopefully**
If you dont mind waiting a while until the pain calms down for your art that would be awesome but if not let me know and if you donated money ill refund it or if you are doing an art trade ill try my hardest to get it done.

Thanks for listening guys and im sorry this is going on.

im trying to find more things to build/do in minecraft so i dont get bored but im running out of ideas.

if you have any building ideas/things to do..LET ME KNOW :DD

Ideas so far:
-Maze
-giant castles
-hunger games

I know I said I would stre yesterday and all that but I've been so damn sick lately that i haven't been wanting to draw. I'm hoping to stream again tomorrow so I'll let you all know :3

im fucking sitting here stressing out about to cry because i dont want to go my grandmas tomorrow because ill have to explain my haircut and clothes to a bunch of drunk close-minded people and get laughed at and i dont wanna deal with this i dont wanna go..

..i really dont wanna go…

When i came out to my mom and she asked if i changed my name and i told her i changed it to Nate she laughed at me..
Fucking laughed...

I feel like shit and i dont wanna be around that and i just dont wanna go ;-;

For the love of my sanity on minecraft **in the server im in** if i say leave my chests alone, LEAVE THEM ALONE!! and if i say im working on a secret project..DONT TRY AND FUCKING FIND ME BECAUSE ITS A FUCKING SECRET FOR A REASON BECAUSE I DONT WANT YOU HELPING ME!! holy mother of hell GO AWAY!!!!

also….STOP STEALING MY DAMN COAL AND DIAMOND HOLY SHIT IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!!?!?!!?

I swear to whoever that if my secret room is mined out when i get back on because you found me im going to flip a fucking table right at your face.

i just wanna say thanks to all the friends ive met in my streams and who keep them awesome :3
seriously guys..i love you all <33
thanks!!

dysphoria it hitting really fucking hard right now. I just want to crawl into a fucking ball and cry. I hate this...

---

thanks guys for the words. I really appreciate it. im sorry im not replying to any of them i just have no idea what to say..

You know what's the worst thing about transitioning and not having a job? I can't buy any clothes to help with the fucking dysphoria. :/

So..I'm asking..if anyone has any male clothes (shirts, etc) that they are willing to donate to a trans-male that needs help..that would be incredible ;A;