So, I FINALLY have a photo shoot booked for my head shots this upcoming Saturday! I found a (what appears to be) legit talent agency that helps get your name/image out there to book auditions. She has a cheap, but good photographer I'm shooting with and I'll have digital copies for myself to print and send out on my own as well. Now I just need to start memorizing a couple monologues, and I'll be ready to dive in to the industry I've been dreaming of since I was a kid!

I can't believe this is finally happening. I got a new job with better hours and slightly better pay, I met someone amazing who I have a blast with every weekend, and he doesn't live crazy far away (only far enough to make it slightly inconvenient)...and now this. I can feel the oxygen of happiness entering my lungs. Life is grand right now. I hope the rest of you feel like this most days. It's great.

Wish me luck this weekend!

Now off to try on several outfits and pick 3 to wear to the shoot! GUH! This is when being a girl can be super fun, but also aggravating. XD

You guys have to check out
She's SO GOOD! And she'll be uploading more of her arts soon. She's also open for commissions! Note her ass! <3

Check this beautifulness out! http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7109144/

Merry Christmas, my loves!

To my Jewish friends...I'm sorry your December holiday isn't quite as awesome as mine. BUT CANDLES AND FIRE ARE FUN!

My dog, who is 14, has apparently (according to mom) had a weird limp for a few days now. She REFUSES to take her to the vet. I can't afford to take her myself, so I have a slight case of animal abuse going on here. I'm going to scrounge up whatever cash I can find, but if you or anyone you know could help me I couldn't be more thankful.

I've had her since she was 3 months old, and I can't just sit here and not do something about her health. PLEASE HELP. I'm honestly begging. My best friend is hurt/sick, and all I can do is sit here and watch her.
My paypal is yoshie565[at]aol.com
Please spread the word so we can all help a poor ol' girl stay healthy in her last few years. :(

Well, I'm just about packed and ready to head off into the furry blue yonder!

Got my hair colored, and I hate it. FUCK. It's still so brown. =.=
Dying it again ASAP.

Going to have a fan-fucking-tastic time with all of my friends!

I'll mainly be with Shia, Pepper, and their crew, and Cooper and Doral's crews. Too many people to list. So I apologize if you feel left out, but you're not!
I just need to get the hell outta here so I can see you all in person!


WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Look for the yellow, purple and white husky mutt, with a big goofy orange nose. That's me!
HUG ME. :D

I need to stop being so afraid and so fucking lazy.

The only times I feel like myself are at conventions, watching movies/tv, and in my former acting classes which I miss every day.

I'm not myself during any other moment of the day. I need to get over these car accident injuries and I need to push myself out of my comfort zone once and for all.

I need to live.

My family says I'm selfish and that I have no gratitude and I don't consider anyone but myself. That is partially true. True because I'm stuck in my own fears. All I can think of is what I want to be...what I want to do...but I have no idea how to do it.....So I'm stuck in my fantasies, thinking of no one but myself.

I want so desperately to be happy and to feel free, but I'm not. I'm trapped.

I need to find a solution. I need to work harder....I need to just work, and practice and get those fucking head shots already. Sure, I have zero money for them, but I have an offer from a former...not enemy...but someone who sort of feels like one still deep down inside. I'll have to go with that and trust it.

I change now. Not tomorrow...not next week...not any later than this very second.

I won't be happy until I take charge and see some progress.

So...did anyone else feel that earthquake?
I was in physical therapy at the time, sitting on one of the tables, then I suddenly felt everything start to shake. EVERYTHING. The building was shaking, and I could see things shaking as well. It wasn't very strong, but I felt it good enough.
Everyone around me saw the confused/scared look on my face, and asked what was wrong. I said "You guys don't feel that? Everything is shaking..."
They all thought I was crazy or that something was wrong with me. It felt like it was going on for forever. It was still happening as they were talking to me. Thank you News12 and the other patients' friends for telling them all about the quake!
I'm not crazy! I'm just extra sensitive, because not one of the room full of people felt it!
XD





2012 is coming.....IT'S COMING!!!

Ever since I started physical therapy again, I've been in constant pain. Now that I'm actually getting proper treatment, I'm in more pain than ever. Just thinking about it makes me nearly start to cry. It hurts to sit, hurts to lay, hurts to bend...my back hates me. I hate my back. Today started off so well too. Shit.

This is my only day off this week, and I spent it at physical therapy, yet another doctor, and then my dad's thousand degree house, where they love to pick on me these past few months more than normal. They, meaning my dad and sister...eehhh....whatever...I'll survive I guess. My dad's house is also SO FUCKING HOT!!
And the doctor gave me a frikkin medical boot to wear. I have to work in this thing! bleh I feel like I'll never get back in the gym at this rate. I might end up needing surgery on my ankle if it doesn't improve in the next month. FEEEKKKK!!! So upset. Feeling so very down today. I finally had started a regular gym routine and was feeling better and seeing a bit of progress, and these past couple of major injuries have screwed me over entirely. It's been two years...two years of not being able to workout. I feel so fat. So chubby. So out of shape. So uncomfortable.
If I had never injured myself, I'd be in the best shape of my life right now. I had trainer sessions that I had payed for and they're gone now. I can't even get them back anymore.
Today is a very emo day. I'm sorry....but I had nowhere to vent to. No one is around, and I'd rather type something here for whoever to read, instead of burdening any of my friends anyways.

TIME TO GO CUT MYSELF, HANG MYSELF, AND TRY TO DROWN MYSELF IN MY BATHTUB.
XD (totally kidding)

Why is it that whenever I find a fursuit maker I like, they don't do moving jaws?? So frustrating. =.=

So!

I made a last minute, extremely spontaneous visit to Otakon this year! I've never been before, and when I heard a certain friend was going, I couldn't resist. We live about 7-8 hours away from each other, and Otakon is (travel time wise) right in the middle. I had off from work on Friday, and wasn't in till 3pm the next day, so I bought my bus ticket, and traveled on over Thursday night. Crashed Natasha's room, and used her phone to get him to come over to the hotel, to surprise him. I'm so clever. XD
SO HAPPY I went, and I met/re-met some awesome people. I had the greatest time...I just wish I could have stayed another day! <3 you all!
Also, something magical and horrible happened....I went to grab my luggage from the hotel's check-in, and I happened to have misplaced my ticket stubs. Totally lost them. I described them beautifully, but there were no bags in sight. Not even other people's. I nearly lost my mind. There was some pretty important things in those bags. My store's keys, my flip cam, my car and house keys....my pain killers....other stuff....Thank god and were with me to comfort me. I would have freaked out completely if I was alone. You guys are awesome, and I'm sorry you had to deal with that.
After they couldn't find my bags, I went up to the room, got an orange soda to try and cheer myself up a little (BC I LOVE THAT SHIT!), sat down in the middle of the room, looking all miserable, and didn't say a word. I couldn't. I didn't want to cry again. asked if I was alright, I responded "They can't find my bags..."
She replied "They're right over there"
I looked, and just lost it. I started to cry so hard, out of pure relief. I couldn't hold it in. I was sobbing...and my friends were like wtf...It was good crying! Happy tears!
Not one of us knows how the bags got to the room, though. I gave no names, didn't know the room number until I was on my way back later, and I never gave anyone my tickets stubs. and I had to have gone through a time-space warp, where we exchanged the tickets, and then our memories were erased, for the good of the planet. That's the only valid explanation I can come up with.

That was the only bad part of the whole trip. That, and the fact that I could only stay for one day.

I can't wait to see you guys at Fur Fright!!

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Here's a little story, told in conversation with my friend, Frank, about what happened to me tonight after I got home from a local bar tonight.


Me:
Can you cut off my fingers for me? Please????
Just a few!



Frank:
that's gross


Me:
I scarred myself tonight. That stinky little mouse carcass scarred me.
I can still feel where I touched it
My fingers are soiled forever!



Frank:
hahahaha
eeeeeek a mouse



Me:
It was more like "OOHHH GAAAWWWD DEAD BODYYYY!!!"
I was reaching behind my car seat, thinking I left food in it to cause the smell...then I felt something odd



Frank:
oooooohhhh TAHs a nightmare


Me:
touched it again and thought it was something moldy, grabbed a plastic bag and picked it up...looked at it and I died a little inside.
it wasn't mold...IT WAS FUR
TINY DEAD, STINKY MOUSE
After I tied the bag, I sat in my car for a bit and shouted and flailed in horror.
XD



Frank:
thats a movie moment
thats what lifes all about



Me:
I grabbed my hand sanitizer for some sort of relief
then washed my hands for forever in the bathroom...I still feel soiled
my right ring finger in particular feels the need to be chopped off.
I also smelled my fingers after I touched it the first time. XD FUCK
I smelled dead mouse!!!
hahahahahaha


Frank:
damn.
thanks for the bedtime story


Me:
You're welcome. My pleasure!




Yea...my car had developed a slight funk that got really bad in the past couple of days...I investigated, thinking I may have forgotten some food in a bag or tupperware, but I was wrong...DEAD wrong.

You know your day is awesome when it ends with you finding a tiny, stinky as FUCK, rotting mouse carcass in your car..............with your bare hands.......!!!!!!!!!!

I got my arm sleeves in the mail!!!

But they don't fit. >:(

They're too tight, and not long enough. The elbow color patches also don't match up with my elbows in the least. I'm hoping she takes them back to fix the issues. I know I would if my creation was even a little wrong.

I want to make DTD's of my arms and shoulders, and mark them up, so she can get the exact measurements and details correct.

It's not even like the issues is just the tightness and the elbows, because I would deal with that if it was the case, but my arms stick out from the sleeves. NO ME GUSTA!! I cannot...CANNOT be a furry to ruin the magic. I hate seeing flesh when you're clearly not supposed to. *sigh*

They're so soft and awesome, it would be such a shame if I couldn't wear them!!

Sooooooo

I really want a fursuit for YapKat, my sabre tooth cat self. But I don't know who I should commission. I want her to be badass, but not overly realistic or too toony. I also don't see too many pure felines, so I'm a bit wary of the makers because there are so many canines, and the shapes are really different.
I also can't afford a triple A list maker, but I don't want anything majorly sucky.

So! I turn to you, my FA friends. Who would you recommend? I may be asking a bit early, since I don't have a true reference of Yap at the moment (a commission is in the works!), but I'm way too curious to see who you would suggest.

ALSO:

I want to know who you would recommend for a Tilly head, for when my current one needs to be retired. I've already had to re-glue many parts of the fur back onto the foam, and my vision is pretty sucky. I can't see even remotely directly in front of me (sounds redundant, but I have to turn my head to see, and when I talk to someone, it doesn't look like I'm looking at them at all. lmao), but I heard that happens a lot. She's a really great first creation though, and the maker is going to get really good, really fast if she keeps with it and experiments with things as well. :D Oh, the head is also a little bit tight...since it wasn't made for me, it was a pre-made suit I found on Furbuy.

ANYWHO...Help me out guys!!

I need recommendations for a sabre tooth cat (between realistic and toony) fullsuit...digigrade legs and moving jaw!

and

A new head for Tilly, my yellow/purple husky mutt. She's an adorable, toony puppydog, and her jaw should move as well, if I can afford it. XD

Check out my YouTube!

http://youtu.be/e_rNdYHImEM


This is just a preview of all of video I got at AC 2011! I'm currently editing my main vlog and will hopefully be done with it in the next few days...I work a lot, and so I only have a limited time to actually edit.

The preview video goes along with this years magic theme!

http://youtu.be/e_rNdYHImEM
http://youtu.be/e_rNdYHImEM
http://youtu.be/e_rNdYHImEM
http://youtu.be/e_rNdYHImEM

Watch it!!!

I really hope you guys like my videos. <3

I've been editing like a crazy lady! I got my private home video done (Just meaning I have a lot of nonsense with friends you guys would find boring..nothing dirty DX), and I've been editing my vlog...but I just found a song hiding on my computer, that's PERFECT! So I took a break from the vlog, and am chopping up and arranging a short 3 minute video (with the footage from the hour and a half long main video...which is also being used for the vlog...I'M CRAZY) as quickly as I can. It's already freakin awesome! I'm going to be doing this for the rest of the afternoon and evening, I can feel it. But I'm so excited and really into my editing this time! I just wish I had something better than windows movie maker...hahahaha I'm so noob.

Apparently my name means:

Yap (Young Asian Professional)
- You are in one of these professions:
a) Medicine / Pharmaceutical
b) Engineering
c) Finance
d) Investment Banking
e) Accounting


Funny thing is...I had an engineering job. OMG I'M A WHITE YOUNG ASIAN PROFESSIONAL?!

It's amazing how much one person can take away your motivation to do anything. Even to eat. Today sucks hard. Tomorrow will be better...that's a guarantee.

I stole from Razzles, who stole from someone else. XD

WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last Beverage: light blue gatorade! yummmm

2. Last Phone Call: Called my dad to ask him about a car we're going to check out. I'm used car shopping! *sigh*

3. Last Text Message To: :D

4. Last Song you listened to: Wild Young Hearts - by Noisettes....their music is fun!

5. Last Time you cried: Uh...I got teary eyed while watching I Love you Phillip Morris. One of the best movies I've seen this year...it totally plays with all of your emotions. I've never experienced anything like it. XD

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. Dated someone Twice: Nope. I highly doubt that will ever happen to me. When it's over, it's over.

7. Been Cheated on: All my ex's are still alive, so no...I have never been cheated on.

8. Kissed someone and regretted it: Oh hell yes. A few times. And more than just a kiss. *sigh*

9. Lost someone special: A few people. Getting another "memory" tattoo in December. It'll be the 10 year anniversary of my uncle's passing. You're still the most awesome dude, Uncle Nick!

10. Been Depressed: I'm human.

11. Been Drunk and Threw up: It happens...rarely, but it happens.

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:

12. Green

13. Purple

14. Turquoise

HAVE YOU:

15. Made a New Friend: So many no that I've entered the fandom. :D You're ALL awesome!

16. Fallen out of love: Yea, and I'm very happy that I did, because he was a little shit and I was blind to that. Now he's making another girl miserable, and I'm having the time of my life!

17. Laughed until you cried? : I love when that happens! I wish it happened more.

18. Met Someone who Changed you: Yea. A few people. But a huge influence on me at work and in the outside world is my current manager. He works his ass off, always has (or tries to have) a smile on his face, is always supportive and not only looks out for himself, but he looks out for you too. I love this guy. I'm not just saying that...he's an amazing man, and I honestly don't know where I'd be without him. <3 I hope your broken cheek heals fast!

19. Found out who your true friends were: I'm still finding out. I don't think you ever stop...at least I don't, because I'm a bit of a social butterfly.

20. Found out someone was talking about you: They're just jelly. I laugh at how they're consumed by the thought of me. I'm WINNING!

21. Kissed anyone on your FB friend's list: Yeap. :3

GENERAL:

22. How many people on your FB friends list do you know in real life: out of 327...a good amount of them actually. Whenever I have parties, I invite nearly 100 of them, and I still know many more (but I don't necessarily want them at my house, or really hangout with them that often)

24. Do you have any pets: 2 cats of my own, and 2 other cats and 2 dogs that belong to the parents.
25. Do you want to change your name: I used to, but now I love my name.
26. What did you do for your last birthday: I had some people over and it was awesome!
27. What time did you wake up today? noon. I woke up 2 hours later than anticipated.
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: Trolling the interwebs and editing videos.
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: GEARS OF WAR 3!!! (Shit, that's going to be like nearly $600 for me because I'm getting the new gears xbox360, the retro lancer replica, and the epic edition of the game. FUUUHHHH that's a whole paycheck!!)
30. Last time you saw your Mother: A few hours ago...she's right upstairs...
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I want my Pennsylvania friends to live no further than an hour from me. </3
32. What are you listening to right now: My fan blow air around my room, and the Noisettes.
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I used to have a friend named Tom...but then he texted me a picture of his dick...Granted, we had slept together many times, but he KNOWS I hate nudie pictures. I don't talk to him anymore, because he's clearly too stupid and doesn't really respect me and what I need...or rather, what I don't need. Your penis in my phone.
34. What's getting on your nerves right now: You made me think about that guy's dick picture. Fuck you survey. lol
37. Nickname: Yap, Tilly, ReRe, and a bunch of others that I don't feel like typing
38. Relationship Status: Single and crushing...totally twitterpated :3

39. Zodiac sign: Gemini...and most things do actually apply to me. XD

40. He or She? *do you prefer*: Males, a-thankya!
41. Elementary School: Yes, I attended one of those.

42. High School: I went to a public school...next to it is a golf course, across the street is a hospital, and next to the hospital is a prison. I swear to god, I don't live in a ghetto or anything...it's actually pretty nice.

43. College: I have an associate's in architecture and I'll never use it since I lost my engineer draftman job (FUCK YOU ECONOMY). I'm now in school for acting and media. <3!
44. Hair color: naturally medium brunette. Right now my under layers be blonde and my bangs are mixed. It's awesome!
45. Long or short hair: it's medium...used to be long until a few weeks ago.
46. Height: 5'5.5" I'm perfect! Not too short and not too tall.
47. Do you have a crush on someone? If I said no, would you believe me? Good! Because it's a yes anyways. He's adorable, silly, nice, and we get along really well. His friends are pretty awesome too. :D

48. What do you like about yourself: I love my sick humor. And I tend to have a quick wit...Thanks dad! I also love my hair, my green eyes and my curves. Yumm >:D And yes, they are curves...I'm not obese, saying that I'm curvy and other bullcrap. I have a curvy build, and am very proportionate. :D
49. Piercings: 13 total. 2G plugs in each earlobe, 16G hoops in earlobes, my left rook, one left helix, and 2 right helix, one stud in each nostril, my labret, and my nips (just got them done a couple days ago! July 7)

50. Tattoos: 2 for now...sun behind my right ear for my granny (who's still alive but mentally fading), and a purple heart on the inside of my right ankle for my deceased friend and ex bf. He was my first bf ever back in the day...I miss you Brian!!!!!!!!
Going to get a complicated, bigger tattoo on my left foot for my uncle in December.
51. Right or lefty: Mostly righty, but lefty in some aspects.

FIRSTS!

52. First surgery: laser eye surgery in 2009. BEST DECISION EVER! If you have any questions, ask me! I'd love to answer.
53. First piercing: Ears, when I was a little kid.
54. First best friend: My friend Ema. I've known her for 20 years. OH GAWD OLD
55. First sport you joined: Bowling when I was 9..and for those of you that don't count bowling (I barely do....), it was equestrian when I was 10. I miss riding...it's been like 4 years...I hate having no money. </3
56. First vacation: Uhhhhh.....NO IDEA.
58. First pair of sneakers: Uh....NO IDEA.

RIGHT NOW:

59. Eating: air.
60. Drinking: more air.
61. I'm about to: Flop into bed and watch some much loved Netflix.
62. Listening to: Noisettes...their music is great.
63. Waiting for: The sweet embrace of death...hahaha oh lord no. I'm waiting for it to be October, so the heat will be gone and I get to see my cabbit and crew!

YOUR FUTURE:

64. Want kids? I need to live my own life and feel fulfilled. I crave too much adventure and other selfish things. If I end up wanting kids, I'm probably going to be an old, crazy mom. (but not too old...I don't agree with those kinds of births. eeewwww)
65. Get Married? One day, if it suits the relationship.
66. Career: Workin on it!

WHICH IS BETTER IN A GUY/GIRL:

67. Lips or eyes: Gimme a pair of good ol' blue eyes and I'll stare into them forever. But I like a nice set of kissable lips too, but I don't need my guy to be angelina jolie...ew....I just want you to be a good kisser. Eyes. XD

68. Hugs or kisses: They kind of blend into each other for me sometimes. But hugs are way freakin awesome.

69. Shorter or taller: I only prefer same height or taller. I won't say no if you're shorter, but it is working against you a little bit.
70. Older or Younger: I definitely prefer older. My average is 6 years older.....but a younger person has popped up, and I'm shockingly okay with it. Not bothered by it in the least :3
71. Romantic or spontaneous: I cannot pick either or...it's gotta be both. BOTH! But you don't have to be intensely romantic...that's not my style. That's off-putting to me.
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: Arms. I dated guys who were overweight, pretty thin, and buff. I've dated all over the spectrum. I've come to learn I don't care about most, but if you have a bit of bicep, I melt. My last ex...strong guy, but no biceps at all. wtf dude?! XD I couldn't touch his arms..it bothered me a bit.

73. Sensitive or loud: Again...my last ex cried ALL THE TIME. Now, I appreciate it when a guy is a little more sensitive...but if you're a pussy, gtfo of my face. I will eat you alive. I'm a tough chick, and I need a guy who won't try to feed me his tears. I'm also a loud, outgoing person. I need something similar to myself. :D
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: Let's go get arrested. ;D (Nah, I'm all talk. lol)

HAVE YOU EVER:

76. Kissed a stranger: eewww
77. Drank hard liquor: SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS, EVERYBODYYYY (I quote Razzles here XD)
78. Lost glasses/contacts: I've lost both.....But I've always found my glasses in the end.

79. Blacked out: A few times. I don't like it, because I'm missing out on the fun I'm having. I try to be more careful these days.
80. Herped your Derp: Oh hell yes!
81. Broke somebodys heart: *nods* probably.
82. Been arrested: No way dude.

83. Turned someone down: Yea, and currently still doing that. I don't know where some of these guys come from...go back to your hole! Just because you're single now, doesn't mean I want to talk to you! That's ooky, and shows you only want one thing.
85. Fallen for a friend: Not fallen, but crushed on...yea.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

87. Miracles: I honestly don't know.

88. Love at first sight: Not love, but there's definitely some sort of immediate connection or vibe you feel. I got it at FAU4 *blushes*
89. Heaven: *shrug*
90. Santa Claus: I'm wishing it's true...always wishing...
91. Kiss on the first date: I don't really go on dates....It also depends on the person and how the date goes. I don't think I'd do more than a cheek kiss though, unless there's a crazy good vibe going and neither can resist. >:D
92. Angels: *shrug*

RANDOM:

93. Can you play any instruments?: I used to play the clarinet in school...and I suck at the guitar, but I'm better than people who have never picked one up. And better than many people from my beginner guitar class. haha
94: BONUS ROUND!!! Why'd you do this test?: Saw Razzles do it, and I WAS BORED. So I did it.

You know you have a problem when nearly all your dreams are furry. XD

I officially have a room for Fur Fright! It's at the Quality Inn Cromwell....And I miiiight have space for some crashers, but I won't be finding that out until mid July.

I'm so excited! :D

Anthrocon was beyond awesome. I saw and made some friends, met some creepers, and just had an all around great time. I'll be uploading some pics soon, and putting together my video tonight.

I'd type more, but my brain hurts from registering for classes, and I'm starving.

I hate school...and I hate having to work my school schedule around my job. FML.

And I'm only taking 3 courses this semester!! Just imagine if I was a full time student. Then I'd really want to die.

WE HAVE ARRIVED! And are napping in the lobby. Poke me and say hi if you're here too!

And we're an hour or so shy from officially hitting to road to AC!!!