while the concept is amusing and a little absurd to me, it is the current situation.

so, I may be a bit more unavailable than usual. Just letting people know.

At least I get to stay home for it :P lol.

I wish I could draw or something during it, but they want everyone to be actively engaged the whole time. *eyeroll* So far it's just been videos about drugs and the effects on the various parts of the brain, dopamine levels, developmental science, etc. "drugs r bad, m'kay?" That's been about it.

*sigh* uuuugh. 3 nights a week for 4-5 months. I am not looking forward to this at all. But, my bf is hopeful that it'll help, and my mental health team is too. So, I might as well try, I guess.

:) Welp, that's about it.

I may not be as good as other people, but I'm getting to the point where it's not as frustrating to just keep trying. This year I've been pumping out art. None of it is really all that good, so I haven't posted much. I'm not sure if I even should or not. I dunno.

I just wish I were good enough to make it work as a career, somehow... Nothing else seems to be working for me. I just don't know what to do. I'm trying not to be depressed about it, but I'm also annoyed because money freakin' sucks.

I guess when I get home I'll start uploading sketches into my scraps.

xD I wish I had an art mentor. I just feel like I'm bugging people, and I don't have money for a professional level of mentorship.

I also want to make full projects, but I also don't feel like I'm skilled enough, or like they'd sell. *shrug*

My witchy etsy store also isn't doing great. Oh well.

Welp, I'd better go. I've got a dental appointment. :P

I know people have been trying to get in touch with me. Thanks for checking up on me. I'm still away from home, and I have no privacy at all, nor time to myself.
Things are not going great, and it's been incredibly frustrating. Plans have changed last minute, I didn't have a way to get from San Jose to Phoenix anymore, and I was basically stuck... My dad and aunt talked shit to my sister until she said, fuck this, fuck you, I'm going home. She left me stranded, since I was supposed to drive with her to Phoenix. And yeah... I'm just pissed off at my dad a bit, but I'm also stuck here.

Luckily, he did manage to get me a flight to Phoenix, so I'm going to get there Sunday night.

My mom, however, still has no idea what she's doing. She's not actually helping me figure out what the fuck she wants me to do, except that I'm supposed to find her an apartment, and move all her and my half-sister's shit while my mom's at work. I don't know the budget, what they want, what they don't want. and shit just sounds like it's going to be a stressful disaster, and it's all going to fall on me as my fault, since no one else wants to take responsibility.

not gonna lie, I just want to go home and get fucked up and forget any of this happened or that I even have family. This is what it's like every fucking time I'm around them, and it just makes me feel like shit. I'm so stressed out, and I have no way to escape, and I have no idea when I'm going home.

All I can say is; Never again. Ever.

I'm done.

(potential trigger warning: I talk about witchcraft, money, spirituality, art, and the web)

I know FA isn't really the place to be talking about spirituality and stuff, or trying to sell my products that are related to spirituality. (Even if the two subjects just happen to overlap for me personally, I understand that others would prefer to keep it separate, and/or not talk about spirituality at all. I respect it.)

Anyway... I'm just wondering if anyone knows of a good platform for promoting my items, as well as selling them. Etsy isn't getting me any views, even though I have products up for sale there. I just don't know if I need to get them in front of more people, or how I'd do that. I know my whole 'crow witch vibe' is a bit of a niche market... but I figure someone might like what I've got. Or be interested enough to say, "Hey, I want to try learning that skill. I'll buy this item to help with that." or, "Oooo, that's some cool art!" or, "I bet that incense smells divine!" etc. etc. It's so difficult to know how to attract people in a digital way.. Because a lot of these are very sensory things, art is visual, and computers are great at translating that. But, scents, feelings, emotions, tingly feelings, heeby-jeebies? Not so much.

It's kinda something I struggle with in digital art, too. Maintaining the feeling of texture in the media. The paper and the paints or inks or whatever I use, they all have their own feelings, textures, methods of movement and display. It's impossible to replicate it digitally. It's not a bad thing. Digital art is great too. :3

It's just that the difference is that one you can interact with, and the other is... well... not real. Which is kind of ironic, considering that more people consider spirituality and witchcraft "not real". lol.

It's a lot like how we live our lives and how culture and media, and ESPECIALLY advertising, affects us. Advertisements are specifically created to draw your attention, sometimes even intentionally annoy you, and they use all sorts of tactics to make you remember them. People say magic isn't real, but advertisements use very similar techniques to magical techniques to change reality and the perception of ourselves and others.

Everything you watch affects you, and modifies you in some small way. Each experience does have an effect on you. If you're conscious of it, you can choose how to respond to it. If you're not conscious of it, and you see it repeatedly, it will still get repeated in your head. Anyway, people use these techniques intentionally, to get the result they want. That's literally what magic is. Using your will and intent to affect reality.

Except that with magic, you're the one setting the rules and pulling the strings. So, you're the one that gets to set the message that gets turned into reality.

Like how orange juice repeatedly got associated with breakfast, health, mornings. Even though in reality, orange juice has nothing to do with any of those things. it's just the mental associations that our brains create. Neural plasticity. Neural pathways connecting. Associations. These things matter. What we associate one thing with, someone else may associate it with something different. But the point of advertising is to try and convince everyone to make the same associations about the subject.

Anyway... back to trying to get attention to products:
I've heard people say to do youtube and tiktok. I've only used tiktok a few times, so I don't know much about it. But youtube sounds like it might be interesting. I don't know though. Would people even be interested in watching videos of explanations of tools and how to use them?

It's also a little aggravating that Etsy and Instagram and FA all have their own requirements for images and settings, and things need to be fiddled with to be compatible between them all. It's so much work to put up a new item everywhere. lol. I wish I knew how to use all these things better. It's not even a "oh, you boomer, you're bad at tech", type thing. It's just that there's so much that's different between them all.

Wow, this seems like it's all over the place.

But yeah. I want a place where I actually can talk about things(both through text and through voice. Because there is a difference.), and where people can talk back. Where people can make vids, sell/buy both digital and physical art and other items.

I dunno... Maybe I'll just have to make it.

I've been focused on januwerey, but I'm gonna have to take a hiatus on it since I need to take care of some stuff away from home for the rest of the month. I dunno when I'll be back yet. I won't have access to my computer.

Welp, see you all next month.

I tried doing day 2 of janu-werey. I did a sketch on paper and it was garbage. I tried digital, and it's already 1am and I'm sleepy and in a pissy mood. So, I'm just calling Jan 2 a failure.

welp, nice to know I can't even accomplish my own goals and challenges.

Last year was a bit of a mess, and I didn't get to do Were-tober. So, I came up with Janu-werey. If anyone else wants to join in, that'd be awesome. The thought is just to draw something; it doesn't even have to be a finished piece. Even a rough sketch is fine. It's just to get us drawing every day.

If you don't like these prompts, feel free to change any of them! :D

1.Janus
2.Plant bite
3.Curse collar
4.Wholesome
5.Jackal thrall
6.Were-bunny
7.Parrot
8.armadillo
9.owl
10.turtle
11.lizard
12.Kobold,
13.shark
14.Lion
15.pony
16. goo
17. moon
18. ivy
19.magic
20. restraint
21.Indulgence
22. underwear
23. ripping
24.blood
25.Demon
26.king
27.pet
28. Hypno
29. Regrowth
30. Snake
31. Puppet