alright, so... its been forever since ive drawn for people....
its been even longer since someones drawn for me


SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IM OPEN FOR ART TRADES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!






i know im not very talented... and you might have to be a little patient with me putting it up
i hand draw everything then scan it up when i get the chance


BUT COME ONE GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!
BE A PAL!!!!!!!!!!!!

https://youtu.be/OfWU5zza1Pc


epic win
hellsing!!!!

i love connor... hes my world.... i want him happy more than anything.....
but.... i.... i cant do anything.... hes made that painfully clear..... i cant do anything for him... i cant do anything period.
...i love him so much... and... i... im scared to death of losing him.... i........... i........... i..............

.....im useless........ im worthles....... i know...... im sorry........
.....i want..... i want everything happy for fucking once...
just everything simple and happy......
god for fucking bid something goes right somewhere.........




...........im trying my hardest not to harm my body for this... because connor gets upset when i do......
....and.... like i said.... i want him happy..........


god, he kills me sometimes...
he makes me happy like no one else can.... but....
he also hurts me like no one else can........

....i put my heart in his hands..... he can do to it hat he wishes...
sometimes he doesnt realize what he does to it....
but... everything he does DOES effect me.... much more than he realizes..........


.....sorry if you wasted your time reading this....
just me being a whining bitch because im a clingy bitch whos scared and worried about my mate........
................................................................

god.... i...... i feel so.......... so hated..... so unwanted.......
i feel evil... i feel cruel... i feel heartless... i feel worthless.....
i.... i feel like a monster.... like a creature.....

...i feel like..... like... im decaying.... maggots festering in my intestine......
*cries*

......i..... my eyes burn.... as if splashed with acid.... each tear makes them burn more.... as if the tears themselves are made of acid.....
...god... i dont know what to do..... i... i dont know what to do..... all i know is...... is... i hurt.....

why does everyone do that?
they feel the need to say that they arnt joining the cause or even bash it!
jesus christ! if your going to comment, have at least remotely posative response!!!

hell, even when i was suicidal, people were being ass holes... id post jurnals to let out my emotions or look for help, and they told me to kill myself and shit.....

listen, i will say this again

nothing nice to say? get the fuck out!!!

I need your help comrades!

I want to start a group.
not just an FA or DA group, but... sort of a... a league of you will
spread the word of communism!

it is a beautiful thing!
capitalism is killing this world. communism can fix this!
put science and life and well being OVER money [u]rather than the other way around!!![/u]

big companies are allowed to do anything they want because they can pay people to look away. corruption and greed and cruelty is a bi-product of CAPITALISM!

unite my comrades!

i fucking woke up and hour before my alarm went off... idk what the hell happened... im always AWAKE before my alarm by and hour, but.... when i hear my alarm, it means the the hell out of bed and get ready... and... i guess i heard it go off in my head or something.... like... i drept it went off or something....

and, i got yelled at by my mom for being up too early..... fun, right?
>.>

not to mention, once im up and everything, my body wont physically let me sleep again.... not until its night once more
(i used to be nocturnal... can only sleep during the day, contantly awake and even hyper at night...)



...this blows......

....dont you just freakin love it when you love someone with all your heart... and every waking moment you think about them... worry about them... pray for their well being.... and they are always in your dreams....... and your more than willing to do anything for them, even saw off your own limbs at their command... and they dont seem show the same love and devotion...?!

...god, he makes me want to cry sometimes... sometimes he makes me want to pick up my razor blades again.... sometimes he makes me want to pick up my cigarettes and lighter again.... sometimes he just makes me lose my mind....

yet... sometimes hes the exact oposite.... hes the one i threw out my razors and dont get more... hes why i threw out my cigs and dont smoke any more..... hes what keeps me sane and alive.....

i love him with all my heart and soul...
he is my everything....

even if sometimes e tortures me... he never does it on purpose.....
and besides, i cant ever get upset with him

my mind and his are very different sometimes.... he used to get upset with me all the time... i couldnt be upset with him if we both tried...

i love him still more than anything

i cant put anything up for some reason

once i hit that button that says submit, it goes to the page that says firefox couldnt reach the page

wtf?



everything else seems fine, its just submitting isnt working.....




what do you guys think?

Ich will meine Augen mit einem Plastiklöffel herausnehmen und mein Gehirn durch die Augenhöhlen mit einem Buttermesser abstechen

that is how i felt about most the day

but, talking to nina over the phone has made me feel a but better

http://yiharbin.deviantart.com/journal/38875628/

take a look there


or if you too much of a lazy butt, ill copy past it:





alright, i need your thaughts on a few things (books I'm writing, languages I am creating for said books, my belief system, your opinoins of life, what you want to see from me, etc)



alright, so, ill stick with the order i have up there, shall we?

books im writing
i have many ideas, but im only working with so much... you know?
i want to write a colab book with my boyfriend, connor, so im saving a few ideas for that ^^

so far, i have 2 ideas that are working out
when i finish chapter one of one of them, ill post both chapter ones for both books here and i will let you guys vote on what you would like to see finished or worked on more
sound cool guys? ^^

need your thaughts on that

uhm.... yeah, with the second book idea i am working with.... wel, i dont want to give it away just yet, but, i am in the process of making new languages for that book
the one im currently working with is most likely going to be the language of a clan that lives on one of the sola islands... probobly oric sola....
idk
ill explain letaer... or if you note me, i could tell you about it, im pretty eager to do so ^^



alright, next..... ah, yes
i wish to also write about my belief system (which incorporates many things from many other beliefs (i.e. christianity, budhism, taoism, hinduism, and more))
i need you guys to ask about it so i can bring it all together
ASK NAO!!!!!!!!! pwetty pwease?

uhm... whats next...
ah yes, im curious on your take on life is
what exactly is your outlook? posative? negative? what?



and, finally, what would you like to see from me?
please let me know, 'kay guys?

thank you if you took the time to read this <333

please comment or not me <33

alright, so:
1, theyre bitching at me about getting a girlfriend (i have a boyfriend, and its a bit of a long distance relationship)

2, my parents bitch at me about getting out of the house and are saying theyre gonna arrange a 'play date'... basically call some random douche bag from the school i hate and make me go and hang with them....

3, they wont let me even look into getting a licens or a permit or whatever

4, they are now talking about setting me up with a part time job....





they fucking hate everything i do, they bitch at me over every fucking thing!!! they fucking do this and that and this and that.... everything they do is speciffically to piss me off, i swear!!!
hey, fuck-tards!! how am i suposed to GO to my part time job if i dont have a fucking car and cant drive!!!!!!!! huh?!?!?!! answer me that you fucking ass holes!!!!!

I HATE MY PARENTS!!!!!!
FUCKING CONTROLLING FAT PUERTO RICAN WHORE AND FUCKING RETARDED OLD JOCK!!!!!!!

they piss me off to no end!!!!



im sorry guys that you have to hear me get all pissy like this...
god... i just hate them....
its one thing after another after another after another after another!!!!
you know?
in trouble cuz my grades arnt straight As when yours was.... in trouble because god forbid id walk out of the house without a heavy jacket when its fucking 40 degrees outside!!!! (perfect wether for me is 40 to 50 degrees, little wind, clouds, maybe some rain)
in trouble because moms fucking PMSing
in trouble cuz my little brother makes a mess (NOT EVEN ME. MY 10 YEAR OLD ASS HOLE BROTHER!!!!!) and i didnt clean it up
.....god........ i hate it so much.....
i cant wait till i am away from them


what i want to do, just for fun, is have a wedding with connor when i marry him (hes my boyfriend), and i am going to have it videotaped and i will send my parents a copy (intolorant homophobes)
ill make sure they dont know where i am
itll be so funny!
ah, i can just imagine how pissed and heart broken theyll be >:3

once my family knows im with connor, ill be shunned anyway
so ill be sure to fill the ass holes with shame




sorry guys... thats all for now


sorry for the uber long jurnal full of bitching.......

rather than copy-pasting it
heres a link: http://yiharbin.deviantart.com/journal/38835958/

IM SO SORRY GUYS!!!!!!

my awesome mate is reading my green eggs and ham, then im off to bed, then school tomorrow

sweet dreams all <33

I would really like to get to konw all of you a little better, make new friends, rediscover old ones

anyone that wants to be friendly, drop me a not, or comment here or whatever, okay guys? ^^

love you all <33
~Ian

http://www.wimp.com/sealsnow/

isnt it just tooo cute!!!!

i have an FA rank
http://popufur.com/?history=yiharbin

question mark?

....god... im worthless......... i cant do anything right... ever.......... the people.... the people that... that are my everything.... that mean the most to me... i cant do anything for them....
.....i try to be good... i try to help.... i.... im more than willing to do anything......... but... i... in the end i just make myself feel like shit.... i cry.... because... im worthless... i... i cant do anything right..... every time.... i want to help, i try to help.... but... i cant do anything right.... ever..........
.....just.... why...... why is this so...?
was.... was i made to hurt? really?





sorry..... this was more a vent-ish.... thing....
....ignore this...

some of his quotes: http://www.flixster.com/actor/till-.....ndemann-quotes

and a bit about him and his life: http://affenknecht.com/main.php?sek.....till-lindemann

this guy is god
all you have to know

Till Lindemann, i love you


lol

http://www.bad-dragon.com/toys

these.... are... just... my god XDDDDD

i wanna get some of these
god damn, i wish i had money....


all the jocks are taking all sorts of jobs... nothing for me to do :T
(16 with no talent... not helpful)

i did

i discovered that i am so beyond lost without FA taking up all my time XDDD

i spend my entire day going threw pictures and talking to people and reading jurnals on here

lol, i was soooo lost without FA going XDDDD


i spent my entire day eating junkfood in the dark playing xbox games i havent played in almost a year




who else discovered they dont know what to do without FA?

one day on the computer, and i have seen SOO FREAKIN MANY JURNALS SAYING THAT PERSON IS LEAVING FA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WTF?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!??!!!!

rather than copy pasting that jurnal, or retypeing it, heres a link.... give a shit? go there
http://yiharbin.deviantart.com/journal/38584651/

if you dont give a shit, mostly all of you, as well as the rest of the world, then just ignore this.... if your going to be a troll or act like some ass hole... i must kindly as you to go eat shit and die




.....

http://www.m0ar.org/2504

look at that XDDDDD
you can talk with god