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2024 Motivation Journal
Posted 2 years agohOI!!!!!
Kazootles! There's nothing quite like having to purchase a brand new heating system for your home to start off the new year. It will more than pay for itself through the cost savings through being immensely more energy efficient than the old model, but it will take a very, very long time to reach its purchase and installation cost of $6,500!
Oh, the joy of home ownership. The interesting thing is that our mortgage is the current rate for a small, two bedroom apartment! It is these insane living expenses that make me very happy that Lucca and I can pull our talents together while helping to support Leon / Cat of 1,000 Worlds as they work with us towards being the best we can be despite our respective disabilities.
***
In other news, Leon / Cat of 1,000 Worlds and I are going to collaborate on bringing his voice acting talent to stories that I've written over the years to make them more accessible to everyone. They are also going to assist me in efficiently reorganizing my gallery here on FA along with developing the YouTube channel that will help get Coping With Disabilities Through The Arts[/b moving full steam ahead.
***
On December 22nd, 2023, I received an e-mail notifying me that my case was closed with The Bureau of Blindness & Visual Services, which is a part of Pennsylvania's Department of Labor & Industry. This was quite abrupt as my vocational rehabilitation counselor (VRC) had not reached out to me in over six months. I could get back on the waiting list to have a new case opened, but there is nothing more that even a State / Federal agency can do for me when it comes to be gainfully employed, or employed at all, as an individual who is 100% blind.
***
Since every possible avenue to put my educational and professional experiences to work towards supporting our household have failed, I am hoping to earn the support of those who would be willing to donate to the Patreon / Subscribe Star that Lucca and I are working to build upon.
We are not sure how long it will be until Patreon removes us, but we are still waiting for subscribe Star to finalize our approval. So, for now, our Patreon link is...
https://www.patreon.com/LuccaYoshArtTherapy
As long as Lucca and I can avoid getting sick, investing in home repairs, and combatting cockroach infestations, we should be back to making regular and more frequent posts to our Patreon. We also should be able to take in all of your feedback regarding what we can do to deserve monthly donations beyond the $3 tier.
***
Now I want to openly apologize for my hiatus from working on the comic book series, [b]Just Animals. The author has provided me with his third script for review back in December, but I've been unable to give it the time it deserves until now.
Curious about what Just Animals is all about? Follow this link to see the, nearly complete, first issue of the Sci-Fi / Drama series that delves into the not-so-distant future of Philadelphia where "The City of Brotherly Love" is a major battleground for the acceptance, understanding, empowerment, and community for those who, as a result of a catastrophic event that occured after 2023, were born as human / animal hybrids.
https://www.furaffinity.net/user/ju.....imalsofficial/
***
There is definitely far more to share and talk about with all of you. Lucca and I look forward to doing all we can to make 2024 a great year where we succeed in catching up on our projects while earning your support so that we may be able to continue to afford living in our little home.
Your Pal,
---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)
Kazootles! There's nothing quite like having to purchase a brand new heating system for your home to start off the new year. It will more than pay for itself through the cost savings through being immensely more energy efficient than the old model, but it will take a very, very long time to reach its purchase and installation cost of $6,500!
Oh, the joy of home ownership. The interesting thing is that our mortgage is the current rate for a small, two bedroom apartment! It is these insane living expenses that make me very happy that Lucca and I can pull our talents together while helping to support Leon / Cat of 1,000 Worlds as they work with us towards being the best we can be despite our respective disabilities.
***
In other news, Leon / Cat of 1,000 Worlds and I are going to collaborate on bringing his voice acting talent to stories that I've written over the years to make them more accessible to everyone. They are also going to assist me in efficiently reorganizing my gallery here on FA along with developing the YouTube channel that will help get Coping With Disabilities Through The Arts[/b moving full steam ahead.
***
On December 22nd, 2023, I received an e-mail notifying me that my case was closed with The Bureau of Blindness & Visual Services, which is a part of Pennsylvania's Department of Labor & Industry. This was quite abrupt as my vocational rehabilitation counselor (VRC) had not reached out to me in over six months. I could get back on the waiting list to have a new case opened, but there is nothing more that even a State / Federal agency can do for me when it comes to be gainfully employed, or employed at all, as an individual who is 100% blind.
***
Since every possible avenue to put my educational and professional experiences to work towards supporting our household have failed, I am hoping to earn the support of those who would be willing to donate to the Patreon / Subscribe Star that Lucca and I are working to build upon.
We are not sure how long it will be until Patreon removes us, but we are still waiting for subscribe Star to finalize our approval. So, for now, our Patreon link is...
https://www.patreon.com/LuccaYoshArtTherapy
As long as Lucca and I can avoid getting sick, investing in home repairs, and combatting cockroach infestations, we should be back to making regular and more frequent posts to our Patreon. We also should be able to take in all of your feedback regarding what we can do to deserve monthly donations beyond the $3 tier.
***
Now I want to openly apologize for my hiatus from working on the comic book series, [b]Just Animals. The author has provided me with his third script for review back in December, but I've been unable to give it the time it deserves until now.
Curious about what Just Animals is all about? Follow this link to see the, nearly complete, first issue of the Sci-Fi / Drama series that delves into the not-so-distant future of Philadelphia where "The City of Brotherly Love" is a major battleground for the acceptance, understanding, empowerment, and community for those who, as a result of a catastrophic event that occured after 2023, were born as human / animal hybrids.
https://www.furaffinity.net/user/ju.....imalsofficial/
***
There is definitely far more to share and talk about with all of you. Lucca and I look forward to doing all we can to make 2024 a great year where we succeed in catching up on our projects while earning your support so that we may be able to continue to afford living in our little home.
Your Pal,
---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)
Happy, Flappy, Chirpy, Birdie Holiday Updates
Posted 2 years agohOI!!!! hOI!!! hOI!!!
Kazootles! Another year has nearly reached its end. Despite a laundry list of ups-and-downs, I can truly say that I accomplished more this year than I have in any previous year since having lost all of my eyesight at the end of 2016.
THINGS THAT GOT DONE:
* Began posting content to our, still active, Patreon page
* Acquired all Birdz clips of Mr. Nuthatch to build a solid foundation for the 2024 Coping With Limitations Through The Arts video series (YouTube channel coming soon!)
* Successfully began an ongoing comic book project, Just Animals, with an up-and-coming author (I've helped review, edit, and advise the content for Issues #1 and #2 and should have Issue #3 alpha and beta reviewed before the start of 2024)
* Reacquired my passion for writing and have begun a new series, Tales of Unseen Art while feeling confident enough to reopen my story commissions. (Stories are $20 and will consist of approximately 10,000 words. If you are interested in one, please send me a Note / DM and we'll see what we can create together.)
* Made forward progress on catching up with the posts that have been stuck in my submissions folder for over two years (It's amazing just how much work goes into maintaining a house when you have no physical eyesight. However, with Lucca's help, we are getting everything under control one day at a time.)
* Found the closest thing to a blind friendly game, Mortal Kombat 1. I'm hoping to put some more time into it when there isn't just so much to get done in which my playing of the game would not disrupt what projects Lucca and I are trying to complete around the house. :)
* Got the prosthetic for my left eye (Still need to finish paying for it, but it is quite cool, a symbol of my relationship and devotion to Lucca, and allows me to further heal after over seven years of being 100% blind and needing both of my eyes removed.)
Lucca and I are exploring other places in which to host our crowd funding efforts. Patreon has taken quite a firm stand against people by stereotyping everyone in a given category group as being something that 99% of us are not (I plan to discuss this during the forthcoming video series I will be making where I, personally, discuss how much the disabled community as a whole is best unified through the creative arts.).
For 2024, Lucca and I are looking to become more reliable providers of past, present, and future artistic efforts in which you have all so kindly provided us monetary support to get on our feet. The $10,000 replacement for our HVAC system, $6,000 plumbing repairs, and $1,000 professional pest removal put quite a strain on our strained budget. This, of course, did not help our individual and shared anxiety given how individuals with profound physical and/or psychological disabilities, like us, have hundreds of social "Barriers to Entry" to find a job and not be forced out of said job as a result of our disabilities not aligning with a given organization's ever-changing ways of performing their day-to-day operations. (Lucca and I value your patience and hope you are enjoying how we both are getting back to our best and following through with our promised work. It has taken awhile, but it means a lot that you have stuck with us and helped us find success despite so many setbacks to get to where we are today.).
Your Pal,
Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)
Kazootles! Another year has nearly reached its end. Despite a laundry list of ups-and-downs, I can truly say that I accomplished more this year than I have in any previous year since having lost all of my eyesight at the end of 2016.
THINGS THAT GOT DONE:
* Began posting content to our, still active, Patreon page
* Acquired all Birdz clips of Mr. Nuthatch to build a solid foundation for the 2024 Coping With Limitations Through The Arts video series (YouTube channel coming soon!)
* Successfully began an ongoing comic book project, Just Animals, with an up-and-coming author (I've helped review, edit, and advise the content for Issues #1 and #2 and should have Issue #3 alpha and beta reviewed before the start of 2024)
* Reacquired my passion for writing and have begun a new series, Tales of Unseen Art while feeling confident enough to reopen my story commissions. (Stories are $20 and will consist of approximately 10,000 words. If you are interested in one, please send me a Note / DM and we'll see what we can create together.)
* Made forward progress on catching up with the posts that have been stuck in my submissions folder for over two years (It's amazing just how much work goes into maintaining a house when you have no physical eyesight. However, with Lucca's help, we are getting everything under control one day at a time.)
* Found the closest thing to a blind friendly game, Mortal Kombat 1. I'm hoping to put some more time into it when there isn't just so much to get done in which my playing of the game would not disrupt what projects Lucca and I are trying to complete around the house. :)
* Got the prosthetic for my left eye (Still need to finish paying for it, but it is quite cool, a symbol of my relationship and devotion to Lucca, and allows me to further heal after over seven years of being 100% blind and needing both of my eyes removed.)
Lucca and I are exploring other places in which to host our crowd funding efforts. Patreon has taken quite a firm stand against people by stereotyping everyone in a given category group as being something that 99% of us are not (I plan to discuss this during the forthcoming video series I will be making where I, personally, discuss how much the disabled community as a whole is best unified through the creative arts.).
For 2024, Lucca and I are looking to become more reliable providers of past, present, and future artistic efforts in which you have all so kindly provided us monetary support to get on our feet. The $10,000 replacement for our HVAC system, $6,000 plumbing repairs, and $1,000 professional pest removal put quite a strain on our strained budget. This, of course, did not help our individual and shared anxiety given how individuals with profound physical and/or psychological disabilities, like us, have hundreds of social "Barriers to Entry" to find a job and not be forced out of said job as a result of our disabilities not aligning with a given organization's ever-changing ways of performing their day-to-day operations. (Lucca and I value your patience and hope you are enjoying how we both are getting back to our best and following through with our promised work. It has taken awhile, but it means a lot that you have stuck with us and helped us find success despite so many setbacks to get to where we are today.).
Your Pal,
Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)
The Patreon Situation (Thoughts & General Discussion)
Posted 2 years agohOI!!!!!!
As most have already heard, or experienced, Patreon’s decision to abruptly close a large number of Baby Fur, Little, and ABDL accounts has had devastating impacts. The most notable being how, when you take time to think about it, a large majority of these content creators are individuals with physical and/or psychological disabilities that prevent them from acquiring gainful employment beyond what they can achieve through the creative arts.
Lucca and I have not yet been impacted by Patreon’s purge of those whose talents revolve around Safe For Work (SFW) and/or Not Safe For Work (NSFW) content. We do know that our Patreon site could go down at any time and, until it does, we plan to post as much art, stories, videos, and insightful journals that relate to how one’s liking of diapers and/or diapered cartoon animals is, like having a disability, 1% of what truly defines who and what we are as people.
If you are interested in providing monthly assistance to a disabled couple who are working hard to prove that we are more than our shared interests and disabilities, please follow the link below…
https://www.patreon.com/LuccaYoshArtTherapy
In the meantime, we are working with our housemate, Leon / Cat of 1,000 Worlds, to find a new place to share our creative content that is primarily aimed at ‘empowering’, ‘understanding’, ‘accepting, and creating a sense of ‘community’ for all those who go misunderstood for who and what they are as a result of society’s ignorance to whomever, or whatever, may not fit within the proverbial ‘box’. (Leon possesses strong knowledge of many of today’s social networking platforms and web sites that are least likely to discriminate against those who have interests that do not align with the outdated stereotypes and stigmas that improperly label people before genuinely taking the time to understand how and why someone may be ‘different’ from the rest of society.).
Lucca and I thank you all for your continued support as we do all we can to help advocate and support those who are both disabled and struggle with feeling outcast by a society built on double standards, hypocrisy, and the perpetuation of feigning ignorance towards anyone who does not fit within a status quo in which, by no choice of our own, we have been placed into.
I plan to write a more thorough editorial on the Patreon situation soon. Lucca and I would have already done more to help our friends and colleagues if it were not for, yet again, coming down with a very intense chest cold / flu. (Really and truly, we hope that this is the last time we get super sick for a long, long time. Medicine is not cheap and being trapped, as others with disabilities are, with an extremely limited income really hurts when you must choose if it is financially feasible to pay your home’s upkeep, or buy $12 cold medicine that specifically targets all the symptoms that we both have been trying to overcome.).
Thank you all for your time, patience, and consideration. If supporting us on Patreon does not work, you are welcome to send donations to us through PayPal at palumbo.ms[at]gmail.com until Leon can help Lucca and I find a better place to continue our efforts. In the meantime, now that we are feeling better, look for more posts on our Patreon page with all content being gradually made available on Fur Affinity (FA) and Twitter (X) as I am able to work the sites with my [Text To Speech] software that, sadly, many software developers fail to make their updated releases of web-based content able to interact with. (I write most of my posts using an older version of MS Outlook before Lucca converts them to where they need to go for wider exposure. It is extra work for him, but the only way that I can ensure I am able to add to the creative content out there despite having no physical eyesight of my own.).
Again, if you are interested, our Patreon is still up and running and can be joined, or sampled, by visiting…
https://www.patreon.com/LuccaYoshArtTherapy
Your Pal:
---Yosh E. O’Ducky ;)
As most have already heard, or experienced, Patreon’s decision to abruptly close a large number of Baby Fur, Little, and ABDL accounts has had devastating impacts. The most notable being how, when you take time to think about it, a large majority of these content creators are individuals with physical and/or psychological disabilities that prevent them from acquiring gainful employment beyond what they can achieve through the creative arts.
Lucca and I have not yet been impacted by Patreon’s purge of those whose talents revolve around Safe For Work (SFW) and/or Not Safe For Work (NSFW) content. We do know that our Patreon site could go down at any time and, until it does, we plan to post as much art, stories, videos, and insightful journals that relate to how one’s liking of diapers and/or diapered cartoon animals is, like having a disability, 1% of what truly defines who and what we are as people.
If you are interested in providing monthly assistance to a disabled couple who are working hard to prove that we are more than our shared interests and disabilities, please follow the link below…
https://www.patreon.com/LuccaYoshArtTherapy
In the meantime, we are working with our housemate, Leon / Cat of 1,000 Worlds, to find a new place to share our creative content that is primarily aimed at ‘empowering’, ‘understanding’, ‘accepting, and creating a sense of ‘community’ for all those who go misunderstood for who and what they are as a result of society’s ignorance to whomever, or whatever, may not fit within the proverbial ‘box’. (Leon possesses strong knowledge of many of today’s social networking platforms and web sites that are least likely to discriminate against those who have interests that do not align with the outdated stereotypes and stigmas that improperly label people before genuinely taking the time to understand how and why someone may be ‘different’ from the rest of society.).
Lucca and I thank you all for your continued support as we do all we can to help advocate and support those who are both disabled and struggle with feeling outcast by a society built on double standards, hypocrisy, and the perpetuation of feigning ignorance towards anyone who does not fit within a status quo in which, by no choice of our own, we have been placed into.
I plan to write a more thorough editorial on the Patreon situation soon. Lucca and I would have already done more to help our friends and colleagues if it were not for, yet again, coming down with a very intense chest cold / flu. (Really and truly, we hope that this is the last time we get super sick for a long, long time. Medicine is not cheap and being trapped, as others with disabilities are, with an extremely limited income really hurts when you must choose if it is financially feasible to pay your home’s upkeep, or buy $12 cold medicine that specifically targets all the symptoms that we both have been trying to overcome.).
Thank you all for your time, patience, and consideration. If supporting us on Patreon does not work, you are welcome to send donations to us through PayPal at palumbo.ms[at]gmail.com until Leon can help Lucca and I find a better place to continue our efforts. In the meantime, now that we are feeling better, look for more posts on our Patreon page with all content being gradually made available on Fur Affinity (FA) and Twitter (X) as I am able to work the sites with my [Text To Speech] software that, sadly, many software developers fail to make their updated releases of web-based content able to interact with. (I write most of my posts using an older version of MS Outlook before Lucca converts them to where they need to go for wider exposure. It is extra work for him, but the only way that I can ensure I am able to add to the creative content out there despite having no physical eyesight of my own.).
Again, if you are interested, our Patreon is still up and running and can be joined, or sampled, by visiting…
https://www.patreon.com/LuccaYoshArtTherapy
Your Pal:
---Yosh E. O’Ducky ;)
Delightful, Diapered, Dino-Duckling Life Updates
Posted 2 years agoHamha!
First of all, if any of you would be interested in supporting Lucca and I through our Patreon, we'd be most grateful. Most benefits, which include my Coping With disabilities Through The Arts content is available for a simple $3 donation per month. (Lucca has created special bonuses for those interested in supporting at above the $3 monthly contribution. My benefits for going above $3 are still in the development phase as I am fully focused on keeping the spirit of what was 'Coping With Limiation Through Pony' going in ways that greatly expand from our team's 7 years of advocacy.).
As Patreon allows you to preview a content creator page prior to committing you to give up your muns, why not give a look at what Lucca and I are doing as two people with disabilities who aim to show how blindness and autism are no reason to give up on your hopes and dreams.
https://www.patreon.com/LuccaYoshArtTherapy
CURRENT PATREON PROJECTS:
Lucca is building a great collection of special art projects that not only allow him to build his inspiration towards the completion of those projects that, as a result of difficult life circumstances, have yet to be completed. (Truly, no artist can make a quality commission if they are incapable of doing projects that make them happy. These self-indulgent works help relieve anxiety and depression while resolving the 'Survival Mode' many disabled, content creators go through when asking for your financial support to get through hard times.).
If you should be someone to whom my cutie-patootie, Lucca lovey may still owe work for, rest assured he is putting forth daily efforts to get to all those commissions that have become discouragingly past due. (As other writers, artists, etc. with disabilities lack proper support due to difficult, if not impossible, challenges created by society to find "An Real Job" and/or receive any form of government assistance, I hope you will keep in mind that Lucca, as it is with many disabled creators of content, desires to do nothing more than to make your wait for the work you paid for meet and exceed your expectations. Please be supportive to all disabled content creators and know that, if you have any questions, or concerns, you are welcome to contact me and I will help to better explain how Lucca and I will make good on all the financial support offered in exchange for our services.).
Right now, as a result of technology becoming less accessible to the blind and visually disabled, I have begun the following projects that show what someone with absolutely no eyesight can do when it comes to making colorful content for your mind's eye / imagination.
1 - TALES OF UNSEEN ART:
Collaborations with artists who have given me permission to write stories based upon their art posts. Curious as to how someone with no eyesight can make a quality, short story without ever seeing the actual image? Head on over to our Patreon page, set yourself up with the free trial, and watch as an artist's personality, passion, and friendship come together to make something truly amazing!
2 - YOSH'S MENTAL HEALTH JOURNEY THROUGH MR. NUTHACH:
Back in 2019, I discovered a Saturday Morning Cartoon that, truly, was ahead of its time. This animated sitcome aired on CBS during the Fall of 1998 through Winter 1999 and featured many unique side plots that viewers beyond the show's target audience could truly appreciate. Most notable, in my opinion, is the psychotherapy journey of Mr. Nuthatch.
The tale of Mr. Nuthatch is told during the events of episodes 1 through 10. With help from my son, Peep, I have captured the most relatable moments of the middle-aged bird who wishes he could go back to simpler times in an effort to avoid spending the rest of his life lonely and afraid.
Currently, I've written for clips captured between episodes 1 thru 7. I'll soon be writing up Mr. Nuthatch's big success in finding that his future is far from bleak in episodes 8, 9, and 10. These will include my thoughts on how I relate my own mental health journey with that of this fictional, psychtherapy patient who, to me, is a family-friendly take on how one becomes, accepts, and finds self-esteem and confidence as a Baby Fur / Little / ABDL.
The above clips will, upon completion, be moved to a YouTube channel where, with help from Lucca and Peep, I will personally upload in-person videos to further discuss the content that I shared of Mr. Nuthatch and why it is so important to anyone who, like me, struggles with being an adult in a society that infantilizes you as a result of having a disability.
3 - VIDEO GAME CONCEPTS:
There are two stories / video game ideas that I have promised my son that I would put together based upon his love for The Binding of Isaac and the Sci-Fi Adventure franchise, Metroid.
I had intended to share more on both of these far sooner, but maintaining an old house with a limited budget where its occupants are all physically disabled has taken away from the time needed to ensure a constant output of content on these projects. There have also been additional challenges with using Microsoft Office, which is the software I learned on while in High School and College / University between 1997 thru 2005. Office 2003 was the last version that was truly 'User Friendly' to someone who relied on screen reading software. Sadly, Microsoft has allowed itself to build on a broken foundation of inaccessible coding that began in Office 2007, worsened in Office 2010, and has become nothing short of a struggle to properly use to develop content from Office 2013 onward.
Despite my efforts to contact Microsoft on these issues, as they cost me my job working for an insurance company as their software tester and documentation developer, I am working to find less troublesome ways to bring the game ideas, their stories, and fun content to support them to our Patreon very soon. Of course, if anyone would like to try and make something with the source material, you are all more than welcome.
4 - PROJECT: EZIL:
The story I started in 2006 to share what it is like to grow up with a visual disability, be too strubborn to get the right help, and finally take the plunge to see how pretending to be something that you are fools only yourself and nobody else. Of course, as this is kind of a take on my real life experiences, I made sure to have fun, fantasy elements that help illustrate the benefits of embracing all that one can when it comes to truly being, "Just like everybody else." through using tools that empower you beyond any shame you might feel over admitting to needing them to succeed in life.
This story has been my most ambitious project since The City of Solitude and the whole of Further Realms: Creative Campaign. Lucca has helped me feel so much better about being happy in being me without PTSD getting in the way of doing all I can do with zero eyesight. I hope to start editing, uploading, and finishing this story while working on the story / game projects that I listed above..
Of course, as the goal Lucca and I share is to advocate for people with disabilities by showing how outdated stereotypes, stigmas, and feigned ignorance are the greatest of barriers to entry to anyone who aspires to be more than the 'label' assigned to them, we hope that you will kindly show your support while sharing what we aim to bring through those abilities we have been held back from openly putting to good use in a stereotype-driven society.
https://www.patreon.com/LuccaYoshArtTherapy
If you have any suggestions on what Lucca and I can add to further advocate through Coping With Disabilities Through The Arts, please let us know in the comments, or through leaving a comment on any of our existing posts found within our Patreon page.
Your Pal,
---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)
First of all, if any of you would be interested in supporting Lucca and I through our Patreon, we'd be most grateful. Most benefits, which include my Coping With disabilities Through The Arts content is available for a simple $3 donation per month. (Lucca has created special bonuses for those interested in supporting at above the $3 monthly contribution. My benefits for going above $3 are still in the development phase as I am fully focused on keeping the spirit of what was 'Coping With Limiation Through Pony' going in ways that greatly expand from our team's 7 years of advocacy.).
As Patreon allows you to preview a content creator page prior to committing you to give up your muns, why not give a look at what Lucca and I are doing as two people with disabilities who aim to show how blindness and autism are no reason to give up on your hopes and dreams.
https://www.patreon.com/LuccaYoshArtTherapy
CURRENT PATREON PROJECTS:
Lucca is building a great collection of special art projects that not only allow him to build his inspiration towards the completion of those projects that, as a result of difficult life circumstances, have yet to be completed. (Truly, no artist can make a quality commission if they are incapable of doing projects that make them happy. These self-indulgent works help relieve anxiety and depression while resolving the 'Survival Mode' many disabled, content creators go through when asking for your financial support to get through hard times.).
If you should be someone to whom my cutie-patootie, Lucca lovey may still owe work for, rest assured he is putting forth daily efforts to get to all those commissions that have become discouragingly past due. (As other writers, artists, etc. with disabilities lack proper support due to difficult, if not impossible, challenges created by society to find "An Real Job" and/or receive any form of government assistance, I hope you will keep in mind that Lucca, as it is with many disabled creators of content, desires to do nothing more than to make your wait for the work you paid for meet and exceed your expectations. Please be supportive to all disabled content creators and know that, if you have any questions, or concerns, you are welcome to contact me and I will help to better explain how Lucca and I will make good on all the financial support offered in exchange for our services.).
Right now, as a result of technology becoming less accessible to the blind and visually disabled, I have begun the following projects that show what someone with absolutely no eyesight can do when it comes to making colorful content for your mind's eye / imagination.
1 - TALES OF UNSEEN ART:
Collaborations with artists who have given me permission to write stories based upon their art posts. Curious as to how someone with no eyesight can make a quality, short story without ever seeing the actual image? Head on over to our Patreon page, set yourself up with the free trial, and watch as an artist's personality, passion, and friendship come together to make something truly amazing!
2 - YOSH'S MENTAL HEALTH JOURNEY THROUGH MR. NUTHACH:
Back in 2019, I discovered a Saturday Morning Cartoon that, truly, was ahead of its time. This animated sitcome aired on CBS during the Fall of 1998 through Winter 1999 and featured many unique side plots that viewers beyond the show's target audience could truly appreciate. Most notable, in my opinion, is the psychotherapy journey of Mr. Nuthatch.
The tale of Mr. Nuthatch is told during the events of episodes 1 through 10. With help from my son, Peep, I have captured the most relatable moments of the middle-aged bird who wishes he could go back to simpler times in an effort to avoid spending the rest of his life lonely and afraid.
Currently, I've written for clips captured between episodes 1 thru 7. I'll soon be writing up Mr. Nuthatch's big success in finding that his future is far from bleak in episodes 8, 9, and 10. These will include my thoughts on how I relate my own mental health journey with that of this fictional, psychtherapy patient who, to me, is a family-friendly take on how one becomes, accepts, and finds self-esteem and confidence as a Baby Fur / Little / ABDL.
The above clips will, upon completion, be moved to a YouTube channel where, with help from Lucca and Peep, I will personally upload in-person videos to further discuss the content that I shared of Mr. Nuthatch and why it is so important to anyone who, like me, struggles with being an adult in a society that infantilizes you as a result of having a disability.
3 - VIDEO GAME CONCEPTS:
There are two stories / video game ideas that I have promised my son that I would put together based upon his love for The Binding of Isaac and the Sci-Fi Adventure franchise, Metroid.
I had intended to share more on both of these far sooner, but maintaining an old house with a limited budget where its occupants are all physically disabled has taken away from the time needed to ensure a constant output of content on these projects. There have also been additional challenges with using Microsoft Office, which is the software I learned on while in High School and College / University between 1997 thru 2005. Office 2003 was the last version that was truly 'User Friendly' to someone who relied on screen reading software. Sadly, Microsoft has allowed itself to build on a broken foundation of inaccessible coding that began in Office 2007, worsened in Office 2010, and has become nothing short of a struggle to properly use to develop content from Office 2013 onward.
Despite my efforts to contact Microsoft on these issues, as they cost me my job working for an insurance company as their software tester and documentation developer, I am working to find less troublesome ways to bring the game ideas, their stories, and fun content to support them to our Patreon very soon. Of course, if anyone would like to try and make something with the source material, you are all more than welcome.
4 - PROJECT: EZIL:
The story I started in 2006 to share what it is like to grow up with a visual disability, be too strubborn to get the right help, and finally take the plunge to see how pretending to be something that you are fools only yourself and nobody else. Of course, as this is kind of a take on my real life experiences, I made sure to have fun, fantasy elements that help illustrate the benefits of embracing all that one can when it comes to truly being, "Just like everybody else." through using tools that empower you beyond any shame you might feel over admitting to needing them to succeed in life.
This story has been my most ambitious project since The City of Solitude and the whole of Further Realms: Creative Campaign. Lucca has helped me feel so much better about being happy in being me without PTSD getting in the way of doing all I can do with zero eyesight. I hope to start editing, uploading, and finishing this story while working on the story / game projects that I listed above..
Of course, as the goal Lucca and I share is to advocate for people with disabilities by showing how outdated stereotypes, stigmas, and feigned ignorance are the greatest of barriers to entry to anyone who aspires to be more than the 'label' assigned to them, we hope that you will kindly show your support while sharing what we aim to bring through those abilities we have been held back from openly putting to good use in a stereotype-driven society.
https://www.patreon.com/LuccaYoshArtTherapy
If you have any suggestions on what Lucca and I can add to further advocate through Coping With Disabilities Through The Arts, please let us know in the comments, or through leaving a comment on any of our existing posts found within our Patreon page.
Your Pal,
---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)
Back With Better Anti-Depression Ducky Diapers!
Posted 2 years agohOI!!!!!!
Oh, my, goodness! I’ll always be in horrified amazement over how much depression can make someone completely fall behind on being an active part of life. Let it always be known how depression is a very serious, mental health condition that, where applicable, requires a lot of patience by those who care for the one afflicted by depression. It is the support of friends, family, and certified professionals that allow for those, like myself, to regain their love of life while finding a sense of purpose.
So here is what happened. Please know that I value all of those who have been, even in the slightest, a part of my transition into a life void of physical eyesight along with my mental health journey.
***
I had been feeling a lack of motivation brought on by, no surprise, my lack of physical eyesight and how reliant I am on other people to participate in those things that bring me joy. As a result, I contacted my insurance provider to see if I could find a psychotherapist who accepted my Medicare / Medicaid insurance.
Despite all my efforts, I was only able to find a therapist who would accept the “6 Paid Sessions”. This therapist was supposed to be in network, but they were not and, as a result, I had to figure out how to make the most of six sessions with a brand new therapist.
Things got off to a very bad start when, as is part of the intake of a new patient, I had to revisit past traumas that I was not ready to revisit. Discussing these during my first three telehealth sessions caused me to feel sad, unmotivated, and hopeless. It also did not help that this therapist was more professional than not interested in developing a ‘Professional Friendship’.
The depression only got worse as my ex-wife’s boyfriend was the one who rode along with my son, Peep, to buy his very first car.
Peep purchased a 2007 RAV4 from my brother-in-law, Flynn. Knowing that Broken Ben was a part of this major life moment brought me a lot of sorrow for how I was not a part of my son getting his first car, but also how I would never be able to assist him in learning to drive. This, as should be no surprise, reminded me of how I haven’t been able to see my son in over 8 Years.
Shortly after Peep came back with his mother and Broken Ben, the two of us journeyed by bus to be with Flynn & Winry as they prepared to welcome their first child, Owlbert, into this world. Upon arriving, Winry was already setting ‘rules’ of what Peep and I could do with my mother, Mrs. O’Ducky. Flynn & Winry later went on to share ‘rules’ for how and when people could visit them and the new baby. These rules, which were for the newborn’s health, made it difficult for me to see my sister after owlbert was born. This is because they, not the nurses, insisted on only two visitors at a time and, for me, I could not bring in my Seeing Eye Dog. I had to be lead in through the assistance of someone’s shoulder due to having not brought a white cane with me.
The second time I got to see Winry, Flynn, and Owlbert, I was allowed to be with the trio all by myself. I had hoped to spend this time sharing the joys of parenting with my sister. However, Flynn went above-and-beyond as a ‘Helicopter Parent’ by interrupting me and Winry as we talked. This made things awkward while allowing me to see just how much eyesight my sister still had left to her…
…which was easily more than I had left to me prior to the first botched surgery that I had in 2011!
I should have been happy about how much my sister could still see, but I was more frustrated over how my mom kept making things out like my sister was just about at the end of her time with sight when, quite obviously, she is not. It also bothers me to know she could be doing so many things that I will never do again, but chooses not to.
Again, I know this is quite wrong of me to feel towards my sister, but it did add to the overwhelming feeling of uselessness and hopelessness I had been experiencing since starting into my “Six free therapy sessions”.
What happened after I got back from visiting Winry, Flynn, and newborn Owlbert was a series of small, but impactful, moments where I was reminded of just how limited and trapped by inaccessible technology and people who can do whatever they want while keeping me from feeling a part of things by simply sharing how they are “Not interested”, or “Don’t want to do it.”.
Being 100% blind sucks.
The last nail in the month of July was when our Central Air Unit broke. It could not be repaired and, as a result, Lucca and I had to commit to a 10 year loan of $10,000 to remove the old unit and install a new one. So, already tight on money from other matters of home ownership, we now are short an additional $160 per month on top of everything else.
***
Thankfully, despite all this, there is a happy ending. This being that, unless a brand new trauma afflicts me, I have nothing to gain from further pursuing psychotherapy. With one session left of my six allowed, I came to realize all of my sorrows stem from matters I am very capable of avoiding. I’d have to purposely seek out those situations that have traumatized me in order to feel their impact. So, knowing this, I am going to box up all my trauma, continue to listen to Lucca about not allowing my sense of worth be defined by years and years of family and social programming, and take joy in being the diapered, dino-duckling I am on the inside. By being a “Happy, chirpy, flappy, little birdie”, I can take my internalized happiness to feel joy beyond my physical limitations.
So, this all said, thank you for your kindness, patience, and support as I move past my past and waddle with a big, beaky smile towards the future.
Your Pal,
---Yosh E. O’ducky ;)
Oh, my, goodness! I’ll always be in horrified amazement over how much depression can make someone completely fall behind on being an active part of life. Let it always be known how depression is a very serious, mental health condition that, where applicable, requires a lot of patience by those who care for the one afflicted by depression. It is the support of friends, family, and certified professionals that allow for those, like myself, to regain their love of life while finding a sense of purpose.
So here is what happened. Please know that I value all of those who have been, even in the slightest, a part of my transition into a life void of physical eyesight along with my mental health journey.
***
I had been feeling a lack of motivation brought on by, no surprise, my lack of physical eyesight and how reliant I am on other people to participate in those things that bring me joy. As a result, I contacted my insurance provider to see if I could find a psychotherapist who accepted my Medicare / Medicaid insurance.
Despite all my efforts, I was only able to find a therapist who would accept the “6 Paid Sessions”. This therapist was supposed to be in network, but they were not and, as a result, I had to figure out how to make the most of six sessions with a brand new therapist.
Things got off to a very bad start when, as is part of the intake of a new patient, I had to revisit past traumas that I was not ready to revisit. Discussing these during my first three telehealth sessions caused me to feel sad, unmotivated, and hopeless. It also did not help that this therapist was more professional than not interested in developing a ‘Professional Friendship’.
The depression only got worse as my ex-wife’s boyfriend was the one who rode along with my son, Peep, to buy his very first car.
Peep purchased a 2007 RAV4 from my brother-in-law, Flynn. Knowing that Broken Ben was a part of this major life moment brought me a lot of sorrow for how I was not a part of my son getting his first car, but also how I would never be able to assist him in learning to drive. This, as should be no surprise, reminded me of how I haven’t been able to see my son in over 8 Years.
Shortly after Peep came back with his mother and Broken Ben, the two of us journeyed by bus to be with Flynn & Winry as they prepared to welcome their first child, Owlbert, into this world. Upon arriving, Winry was already setting ‘rules’ of what Peep and I could do with my mother, Mrs. O’Ducky. Flynn & Winry later went on to share ‘rules’ for how and when people could visit them and the new baby. These rules, which were for the newborn’s health, made it difficult for me to see my sister after owlbert was born. This is because they, not the nurses, insisted on only two visitors at a time and, for me, I could not bring in my Seeing Eye Dog. I had to be lead in through the assistance of someone’s shoulder due to having not brought a white cane with me.
The second time I got to see Winry, Flynn, and Owlbert, I was allowed to be with the trio all by myself. I had hoped to spend this time sharing the joys of parenting with my sister. However, Flynn went above-and-beyond as a ‘Helicopter Parent’ by interrupting me and Winry as we talked. This made things awkward while allowing me to see just how much eyesight my sister still had left to her…
…which was easily more than I had left to me prior to the first botched surgery that I had in 2011!
I should have been happy about how much my sister could still see, but I was more frustrated over how my mom kept making things out like my sister was just about at the end of her time with sight when, quite obviously, she is not. It also bothers me to know she could be doing so many things that I will never do again, but chooses not to.
Again, I know this is quite wrong of me to feel towards my sister, but it did add to the overwhelming feeling of uselessness and hopelessness I had been experiencing since starting into my “Six free therapy sessions”.
What happened after I got back from visiting Winry, Flynn, and newborn Owlbert was a series of small, but impactful, moments where I was reminded of just how limited and trapped by inaccessible technology and people who can do whatever they want while keeping me from feeling a part of things by simply sharing how they are “Not interested”, or “Don’t want to do it.”.
Being 100% blind sucks.
The last nail in the month of July was when our Central Air Unit broke. It could not be repaired and, as a result, Lucca and I had to commit to a 10 year loan of $10,000 to remove the old unit and install a new one. So, already tight on money from other matters of home ownership, we now are short an additional $160 per month on top of everything else.
***
Thankfully, despite all this, there is a happy ending. This being that, unless a brand new trauma afflicts me, I have nothing to gain from further pursuing psychotherapy. With one session left of my six allowed, I came to realize all of my sorrows stem from matters I am very capable of avoiding. I’d have to purposely seek out those situations that have traumatized me in order to feel their impact. So, knowing this, I am going to box up all my trauma, continue to listen to Lucca about not allowing my sense of worth be defined by years and years of family and social programming, and take joy in being the diapered, dino-duckling I am on the inside. By being a “Happy, chirpy, flappy, little birdie”, I can take my internalized happiness to feel joy beyond my physical limitations.
So, this all said, thank you for your kindness, patience, and support as I move past my past and waddle with a big, beaky smile towards the future.
Your Pal,
---Yosh E. O’ducky ;)
Quack-Quack Update -- 06/25/2023
Posted 2 years agoHamha:
It's been awhile and, to be honest, I'm happy to still be able to come back and access my account. (Finding time to go through my Gallery and Journals has been a lot harder to do than I thought. especially with all the real life 'adulting' Lucca and I need to do in maintaining the house within our limited budget.).
***
Some quick notes are...
1: Going to return to following up on posts by all those who have been sharing work that I can view through the power of my 'Mind's Eye'.
2: Continue work on the '2' video game projects I am writing. These are...
A: A parody of The Binding of Isaac that features multiple areas, routes, playable characters, unlockable content, and many opportunities for anyone who is interested to build upon the 'Public Domain' / 'Shareware' experience.
B: Metroid: Cryos Elektra is still quite important to finish as, like the previous project, it is for Peep to enjoy before i let too much more time go by since we started talking about these in 2016. Since Metroid and it's worlds, characters, etc. are proprietary content of 'Nintendo', the only purpose is to finish something special for my son that, hopefully, you all can see as a possible addition to the Metroid universe.
3: Further my efforts to assist in a very special, comic book project. (Be patient as, for now, I am not in any position to share more than what its original author wishes to have shared at this time. And, well, good things come to those who wait..).
4: Work with Lucca so that he can ready a room in our house for the beginning of his latest effort in the arts. (As we get the rest of what we need to get in order put together, I am hopeful to open up a spot at our local Antique Mall to showcase for sale the work that we can do as a team to make some extra money while further advocating for those of us who have physical and/or psychological disabilities.).
5: Complete all projects that I have put off due to my off-and-on struggle with depression.
6: Stop feeling so scared over what may, or may not, happen to my FA Account. (Really and truly, the panic over what could happen to cause me the loss of access to this site has lost me a lot of time that I wish I didn't allow myself to lose.).
***
There will be more to share soon. However, for now, I just wanted to make sure I got back on, shared an update, and mentioned how Lucca and I have much planned that will be super-ultra-mega cool to share in the coming weeks and months.
Your pal,
---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)
It's been awhile and, to be honest, I'm happy to still be able to come back and access my account. (Finding time to go through my Gallery and Journals has been a lot harder to do than I thought. especially with all the real life 'adulting' Lucca and I need to do in maintaining the house within our limited budget.).
***
Some quick notes are...
1: Going to return to following up on posts by all those who have been sharing work that I can view through the power of my 'Mind's Eye'.
2: Continue work on the '2' video game projects I am writing. These are...
A: A parody of The Binding of Isaac that features multiple areas, routes, playable characters, unlockable content, and many opportunities for anyone who is interested to build upon the 'Public Domain' / 'Shareware' experience.
B: Metroid: Cryos Elektra is still quite important to finish as, like the previous project, it is for Peep to enjoy before i let too much more time go by since we started talking about these in 2016. Since Metroid and it's worlds, characters, etc. are proprietary content of 'Nintendo', the only purpose is to finish something special for my son that, hopefully, you all can see as a possible addition to the Metroid universe.
3: Further my efforts to assist in a very special, comic book project. (Be patient as, for now, I am not in any position to share more than what its original author wishes to have shared at this time. And, well, good things come to those who wait..).
4: Work with Lucca so that he can ready a room in our house for the beginning of his latest effort in the arts. (As we get the rest of what we need to get in order put together, I am hopeful to open up a spot at our local Antique Mall to showcase for sale the work that we can do as a team to make some extra money while further advocating for those of us who have physical and/or psychological disabilities.).
5: Complete all projects that I have put off due to my off-and-on struggle with depression.
6: Stop feeling so scared over what may, or may not, happen to my FA Account. (Really and truly, the panic over what could happen to cause me the loss of access to this site has lost me a lot of time that I wish I didn't allow myself to lose.).
***
There will be more to share soon. However, for now, I just wanted to make sure I got back on, shared an update, and mentioned how Lucca and I have much planned that will be super-ultra-mega cool to share in the coming weeks and months.
Your pal,
---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)
Being Erased / Perhaps The last Quack
Posted 2 years agoHamha!
September 3rd, 2008 was a very important day in my life. I had recently been terminated from a job that used the degenerative nature of my physical disability against me while also making quite the show of how I, for lack of better words, was a terrible person who cared and did nothing for others. Given how Tina Bear had weaponized my liking of diapers and diapered cartoon animals against me by this time, how I was struggling to adapt to the rapid loss of what usable eyesight I had left, my father’s passing only three months earlier, and how I had been considering committing ‘The Unthinkable’ on-and-off for over a year, I did what felt like my last chance to find a reason to not prematurely bring my life to an early end. This, of course, was joining FA.
***
I had discovered FA as a result of coming across the works of Tacki, MJ Bear, and Frisky Woods on ‘Deviant Art’. Reading their journals while viewing their galleries lead me to discover Tavi Munk. It was Tavi’s DA page that had the first link I ever found to FA. It was on FA that I first came to truly realize how I was not alone in having a liking for diapers and diapered cartoon animals. (It also was great to see how MJ Bear, tacki, and Frisky Woods were well-established on FA, too!).
***
As my eyesight continued to fade away, so did my ability to interact with more-and-more websites. ‘Deviant Art’ became impossible before I lost the last of my physical vision. ‘Ink Bunny’, which I do have an account on, was next to be inaccessible to the hardware and software combinations I was using to interact with the creative world beyond my own imagination. Next was ‘Facebook’, which I used for sharing information about projects I did with Nishi / Oxnard and Ari / Saphy for my Children’s Book series, Welcome To Saurral manor. The FB page, ‘Hapo Tales’ was also used to share how the team and I were doing throughout our seven year mission to facilitate acceptance, understanding, empowerment, understanding, and community through the arts with our Coping With Limitations through Pony panel series at BronyCon and beyond.
The next site I lost the ability to work with was ‘FiM Fiction’. Initially, I lost the ability to create journals after I completely lost my eyesight in December 2016. However, as was the case with FB and DA, site updates resulted in less compatibility with the screen reading software that I used. (Given JAWS is one, if not the only, screen reading software that continues to try and update itself on a regular basis to work with as many online and offline software systems as can possibly be done in today’s “Good Enough” market that purposely releases products without performing adequate levels of Functional, Regression, and/or Accessibility Testing.).
***
Now, after nearly 15 years, FA is going to become inaccessible to me to use. This is because of its forthcoming Accessible User Policies (AUP) update. The site is still usable, but I need to remove a lot of content that can be mistaken for being nothing more than “Cub Porn”. ☹
What hurts the most about the AUP changes is how they make me feel like I did back before I joined FA in the first place. This being that outside individuals would interpret my liking of diapers and diapered cartoon animals as pedophilia. Anyone can see anything as having malevolent intentions, but liking to be padded and/or seeing anthropormorphic animals in pamps seems like the Furry Communities default go to when justifying other forms of content that can be found all across the internet. To be like, ”Hey, I’m nowhere near as cringe as those Baby Furs.” is the equivalent of throwing someone in the path of an oncoming man-eating monster in order to buy yourself more time to get away from being eaten alive. It is immoral, unethical, judgmental, and outright selfish.
***
FA’s AUP update has left me feeling outright miserable. I will no longer have a safe place to share my feelings and thoughts without having to bother someone else to post them for me. The internet has already made much of itself unusable to me and others who have limited, or no, eyesight at all. Now, as will be best to optimize what time Lucca can spare, I can only really post to the Patreon page we created. Though it hurts most that I can no longer express myself without having to need another person to make it possible to go beyond my own mind.
***
I apologize in advance for how I will be less involved in the art community thanks to these upcoming changes to FA’s AUP, but it can’t be helped and being 100% blind just ensures I am less able to openly communicate with others through the arts even more. It really pains me to see more-and-more of my ability to interact with the world being taken away with each passing day when, back in 1998, I was told technology would allow blind people to be more a part of the sighted world than ever before. Oh, well. ”The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.” and those who are disabled are too few to matter to today’s business leaders who profit from the ”Good Enough Economy” that Capitalism has allowed for.
If you can, please let my lovey, Lucca, know how much he is appreciated for doing so much to allow a blind dino-duckling at heart still feel a part of a world that, more often than not, seems like it would rather me be hidden away and remain useless until I breathe my last breath.
Your pal:
---Yosh E. O’Ducky ;)
September 3rd, 2008 was a very important day in my life. I had recently been terminated from a job that used the degenerative nature of my physical disability against me while also making quite the show of how I, for lack of better words, was a terrible person who cared and did nothing for others. Given how Tina Bear had weaponized my liking of diapers and diapered cartoon animals against me by this time, how I was struggling to adapt to the rapid loss of what usable eyesight I had left, my father’s passing only three months earlier, and how I had been considering committing ‘The Unthinkable’ on-and-off for over a year, I did what felt like my last chance to find a reason to not prematurely bring my life to an early end. This, of course, was joining FA.
***
I had discovered FA as a result of coming across the works of Tacki, MJ Bear, and Frisky Woods on ‘Deviant Art’. Reading their journals while viewing their galleries lead me to discover Tavi Munk. It was Tavi’s DA page that had the first link I ever found to FA. It was on FA that I first came to truly realize how I was not alone in having a liking for diapers and diapered cartoon animals. (It also was great to see how MJ Bear, tacki, and Frisky Woods were well-established on FA, too!).
***
As my eyesight continued to fade away, so did my ability to interact with more-and-more websites. ‘Deviant Art’ became impossible before I lost the last of my physical vision. ‘Ink Bunny’, which I do have an account on, was next to be inaccessible to the hardware and software combinations I was using to interact with the creative world beyond my own imagination. Next was ‘Facebook’, which I used for sharing information about projects I did with Nishi / Oxnard and Ari / Saphy for my Children’s Book series, Welcome To Saurral manor. The FB page, ‘Hapo Tales’ was also used to share how the team and I were doing throughout our seven year mission to facilitate acceptance, understanding, empowerment, understanding, and community through the arts with our Coping With Limitations through Pony panel series at BronyCon and beyond.
The next site I lost the ability to work with was ‘FiM Fiction’. Initially, I lost the ability to create journals after I completely lost my eyesight in December 2016. However, as was the case with FB and DA, site updates resulted in less compatibility with the screen reading software that I used. (Given JAWS is one, if not the only, screen reading software that continues to try and update itself on a regular basis to work with as many online and offline software systems as can possibly be done in today’s “Good Enough” market that purposely releases products without performing adequate levels of Functional, Regression, and/or Accessibility Testing.).
***
Now, after nearly 15 years, FA is going to become inaccessible to me to use. This is because of its forthcoming Accessible User Policies (AUP) update. The site is still usable, but I need to remove a lot of content that can be mistaken for being nothing more than “Cub Porn”. ☹
What hurts the most about the AUP changes is how they make me feel like I did back before I joined FA in the first place. This being that outside individuals would interpret my liking of diapers and diapered cartoon animals as pedophilia. Anyone can see anything as having malevolent intentions, but liking to be padded and/or seeing anthropormorphic animals in pamps seems like the Furry Communities default go to when justifying other forms of content that can be found all across the internet. To be like, ”Hey, I’m nowhere near as cringe as those Baby Furs.” is the equivalent of throwing someone in the path of an oncoming man-eating monster in order to buy yourself more time to get away from being eaten alive. It is immoral, unethical, judgmental, and outright selfish.
***
FA’s AUP update has left me feeling outright miserable. I will no longer have a safe place to share my feelings and thoughts without having to bother someone else to post them for me. The internet has already made much of itself unusable to me and others who have limited, or no, eyesight at all. Now, as will be best to optimize what time Lucca can spare, I can only really post to the Patreon page we created. Though it hurts most that I can no longer express myself without having to need another person to make it possible to go beyond my own mind.
***
I apologize in advance for how I will be less involved in the art community thanks to these upcoming changes to FA’s AUP, but it can’t be helped and being 100% blind just ensures I am less able to openly communicate with others through the arts even more. It really pains me to see more-and-more of my ability to interact with the world being taken away with each passing day when, back in 1998, I was told technology would allow blind people to be more a part of the sighted world than ever before. Oh, well. ”The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.” and those who are disabled are too few to matter to today’s business leaders who profit from the ”Good Enough Economy” that Capitalism has allowed for.
If you can, please let my lovey, Lucca, know how much he is appreciated for doing so much to allow a blind dino-duckling at heart still feel a part of a world that, more often than not, seems like it would rather me be hidden away and remain useless until I breathe my last breath.
Your pal:
---Yosh E. O’Ducky ;)
Yosh-E-O 2.0 Officially Active / The Baby Quack Is Back!
Posted 2 years agohOI!!!!!!
New journal to celebrate my long overdue return to being an actual part of the furry art community!
So what has been happening over the past few months? Rather than ‘Quack Quack Quack’ endlessly, I’ll simplify it with ultra-cool, numbered bullet point! *Wiggles and waddles in place while flapping and slapping his arms against his sides*
1: YOSH ON PATREON:
patreon.com/MatthewPalumbo
With my screen-reading software, which is what allows me to interact with all of you despite being 100% blind, being less able to work with most art / social networking sites, I have turned to ‘Patreon’ to allow me to work with my boyfriend & caretaker,
lucca. I write my creative post in an e-mail that Lucca posts to Patreon for everyone to enjoy who can spare $3 each month to help a RL ‘Lame Duck’ feel a sense of having a job. (After 15 years of being psychologically abused, silently discriminated against, and receiving false promises of aid to acquire and retain employment in both private and public organizations, I am turning to Patreon to spare myself from the ongoing, which should not be still happening, situation of being a company’s “First blind person to work there” who is rejected and/or forced out when it is discovered that what the employer “Thought was supposed to be made accessible for individuals with disabilities” is not.).
I am starting to learn how to respond, comment, and create polls on Patreon with Lucca’s help. Donations of more than $5 per month will be able to participate in special content where stories are made in ways that work best for both a person who is blind, like me, along with those who are not.
patreon.com/MatthewPalumbo
----
2: SUBMISSION COMMENTS:[/b[
I’ve felt awful for how much I’ve fallen behind on replying, commenting, and interacting with all those posts you have all shared over the past few months. With my overall positivity coming back with full force, I have already begun to interact with over a dozen submissions from many moons ago. This will only continue as my most recent efforts towards fully accepting what I can and cannot do as a person who is blind become second nature instead of requiring active thought to do without feeling sad, lost, or less of what I had hoped to be prior to this effort to upgrade myself to [b]Yosh-E-O 2.0. (I’ve had no eyesight since December 2016, my right eye removed in 2019, and my left eye removed in November 2022. Despite all this, I have allowed myself to remain stuck in a state of believing I can vicariously / live through others those sighted experiences I am missing out on that, even with minimal eyesight, I could enjoy. As standard ‘Replacement Therapy’ had no effect, the Yosh-E-O 2.0 effort has been to work closely with Lucca to find new ways to feel happy and a part of the world that do not cause me to dwell on what was and could have been.).
3: STORY COMMISSIONS:
Being 100% honest, receiving a 7 day suspension and being hit with a ‘Level 4 Violation’ of FA’s AUP after nearly 15 years of posting material killed my creative motivation. Fortunately, the Yosh-E-O 2.0 effort has got me feeling filled with determination to return to writing. However, to be safe, I will be keeping stories that I make that could be viewed incorrectly by those who assume over understand exclusive to those who commission me and those who are willing to subscribe to above the $3 support level on the Patreon page that Lucca is assisting me with.
Currently, I have 2 commissions that are yet to be completed. One shall be finished within the next few days while the other, upon my opportunity to talk to the commissioner, will be refunded as soon as I have the money to do so. (I got the commission 50% done and will finish it. However, I am ashamed of how depression and anxiety made me delinquent in completing what should’ve been done months ago.).
DIRECT MESSAGES & JOURNALS:
While I catch up on submissions, comments, and my everyday e-mails, I will not be replying to Journals and Direct Messages. The stress is too high and the amount of energy I have to give quality responses is just not there yet. I will get to DMs and Journals. However, it will be awhile and I appreciate your patience as I get to where I can provide quality responses.
That about sums it all up for the time being. If you have any additional concerns, comments, and/or questions, please leave them in the comments below.
Your pal,
---Yosh E. O’Ducky ;)
New journal to celebrate my long overdue return to being an actual part of the furry art community!
So what has been happening over the past few months? Rather than ‘Quack Quack Quack’ endlessly, I’ll simplify it with ultra-cool, numbered bullet point! *Wiggles and waddles in place while flapping and slapping his arms against his sides*
1: YOSH ON PATREON:
patreon.com/MatthewPalumbo
With my screen-reading software, which is what allows me to interact with all of you despite being 100% blind, being less able to work with most art / social networking sites, I have turned to ‘Patreon’ to allow me to work with my boyfriend & caretaker,
lucca. I write my creative post in an e-mail that Lucca posts to Patreon for everyone to enjoy who can spare $3 each month to help a RL ‘Lame Duck’ feel a sense of having a job. (After 15 years of being psychologically abused, silently discriminated against, and receiving false promises of aid to acquire and retain employment in both private and public organizations, I am turning to Patreon to spare myself from the ongoing, which should not be still happening, situation of being a company’s “First blind person to work there” who is rejected and/or forced out when it is discovered that what the employer “Thought was supposed to be made accessible for individuals with disabilities” is not.).I am starting to learn how to respond, comment, and create polls on Patreon with Lucca’s help. Donations of more than $5 per month will be able to participate in special content where stories are made in ways that work best for both a person who is blind, like me, along with those who are not.
patreon.com/MatthewPalumbo
----
2: SUBMISSION COMMENTS:[/b[
I’ve felt awful for how much I’ve fallen behind on replying, commenting, and interacting with all those posts you have all shared over the past few months. With my overall positivity coming back with full force, I have already begun to interact with over a dozen submissions from many moons ago. This will only continue as my most recent efforts towards fully accepting what I can and cannot do as a person who is blind become second nature instead of requiring active thought to do without feeling sad, lost, or less of what I had hoped to be prior to this effort to upgrade myself to [b]Yosh-E-O 2.0. (I’ve had no eyesight since December 2016, my right eye removed in 2019, and my left eye removed in November 2022. Despite all this, I have allowed myself to remain stuck in a state of believing I can vicariously / live through others those sighted experiences I am missing out on that, even with minimal eyesight, I could enjoy. As standard ‘Replacement Therapy’ had no effect, the Yosh-E-O 2.0 effort has been to work closely with Lucca to find new ways to feel happy and a part of the world that do not cause me to dwell on what was and could have been.).
3: STORY COMMISSIONS:
Being 100% honest, receiving a 7 day suspension and being hit with a ‘Level 4 Violation’ of FA’s AUP after nearly 15 years of posting material killed my creative motivation. Fortunately, the Yosh-E-O 2.0 effort has got me feeling filled with determination to return to writing. However, to be safe, I will be keeping stories that I make that could be viewed incorrectly by those who assume over understand exclusive to those who commission me and those who are willing to subscribe to above the $3 support level on the Patreon page that Lucca is assisting me with.
Currently, I have 2 commissions that are yet to be completed. One shall be finished within the next few days while the other, upon my opportunity to talk to the commissioner, will be refunded as soon as I have the money to do so. (I got the commission 50% done and will finish it. However, I am ashamed of how depression and anxiety made me delinquent in completing what should’ve been done months ago.).
DIRECT MESSAGES & JOURNALS:
While I catch up on submissions, comments, and my everyday e-mails, I will not be replying to Journals and Direct Messages. The stress is too high and the amount of energy I have to give quality responses is just not there yet. I will get to DMs and Journals. However, it will be awhile and I appreciate your patience as I get to where I can provide quality responses.
That about sums it all up for the time being. If you have any additional concerns, comments, and/or questions, please leave them in the comments below.
Your pal,
---Yosh E. O’Ducky ;)
A New Journey Begins - Part 2
Posted 2 years agoHamha!
It is now time to start discussing what I can offer through Patreon that would be worth paying the $3 per month rate and above. Feedback is appreciated as, until I can figure out how to find employment that is doable and reachable by someone with no eyesight, working with Lucca on the Patreon will be my job. (I grew up in a family that was very hardcore about staying busy and being a contributor. My father raised my sister and I both on how our limited vision did not make us exempt from these rules. This family philosophy carried over into my college / university years with my dad fixated on my continued education until I was able to get a job that paid over $50,000 USD per year. I then carried this deep-seated need to work and be a contributor as I tried to maintain multiple jobs over the years as what eyesight I had left continued to fade into nothing. The guilt I felt from believing I was not doing my part to support my family lead into my, nearly life-ending, Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). It is impossible to move past such heavily forced rules / definitions to be successful, but Lucca is helping me to know I am not a failure for how I cannot get a “real job”. Until then, the Patreon is going to help me transition to a healthier view on what defines success in my life. Should the Patreon succeed in some way of finding where I can continue to grow and contribute to society, great. If not, I thank all who had, have, and may consider supporting me during this time.).
QUACKY WORK FOR FUN:
http://patreon.com/MatthewPalumbo
PATREON BONUSES:
Most know that I post content on ‘Fur Affinity (FA)’ due to how it remains the most accessible to my screen reading software. It would be nice to go beyond FA as it is slowly starting to also become unusable to my screen reading software. Other sites for sharing and talking about the creative arts, sadly, are notably less accessible and, given Lucca’s help in taking what I write in .html and posting it directly to Patreon seeming to be fairly easy to do for him, I hope to bring you the following exclusives for the $3 tier…
1: Yosh & Peep’s Playful Parody of ‘The Binding of Isaac’
Back in 2016, Peep was introduced to a most interesting game by one of his Uncles. It had randomized dungeons, lots of unlocable content, years of upgraded content, and multiple routes a player could take to get one of many possible endings.
The game was described to me as if you were playing ‘The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past’, but with horror elements that played on religious themes. (My retina was about to detach for the second time that year when Peep got to play this game. I had begun to go color-blind with my available field of vision being compromised by regions of complete darkness.).
When Peep got his Nintendo Switch, he bought ‘The Binding of Isaac’ and, as a result of a prank we pulled on his older cousin, we kept talking about a game that could be made that would be just as fun in which keeps you coming back to play over-and-over that we codenamed, ‘The Binding of Madison’ / ‘The Binding of Chub’. (Peep still plays ‘The Binding of Isaac’ to this day, has all the DLC expansions, and has not yet unlocked all of the unlockable content.).
Since I cannot do programming code, but do have a background in Software Development & Project Management, I am going to utilize a spreadsheet, which will be converted to .PDF, to create this game. (FUN FACT: Peep tried using ‘SCRATCH’ to make the game, but it was very difficult with the limitations that ‘SCRATCH’ has given its use is primarily for creating simple programs to inspire future software developers.).
So, join Peep, Lucca, and I as we create a new take on this game that has held my son’s interest for over 7 years and inspired him to, without any Papa Ducky pressure, develop animation, art, and programming skills. (He also has taken up playing the guitar and, along with a class he was offered this year in High School, does play an instrument while trying to recreate songs from Anime and video games that he likes.).
2: METROID STORY FOR PEEP:
For those familiar with the famous bounty hunter, Samus Aran, from Nintendo’s ‘Metroid’ franchise, this will certainly be a fun treat and delightful change of pace from what you’ve all come to see me write so far.
This story has been building since 2010, when Peep was 3 years old and became an unstoppable fan of Samus and her Chozo Power Suit. Peep has played all the ‘Metroid’ games and finished them all, too! So, given he has played a few titles I never had a chance to play in the series, I’ve followed along with him and have discussed a concept for a follow-up, which now follows after the events of ‘Metroid: Prime 3’ and ‘Metroid: Dread’. The codename for this story is Metroid: Cryos Elektra.
The story takes place after Samus has been, due to her meddling in both the activities of the Space Pirates and Galactic Federation, has been forced into retirement. Old habits die hard and she learns that her old colleague, Anthony, who is from ‘Metroid: Other M’ sends out a distress message that finds its way to the bird-powered galactic hero. With her Zebesian friends, who also appeared in ‘Metroid: Fusion’, Samus overrides the monitoring systems installed into the Malkovich AI that the Federation installed into her gunship. She is now off to a distant world hidden within the frozen outskirts of a nearby solar system to help Anthony and discover what is going on within the mysterious, dwarf planet, Cryos Elektra.
3: PROJECT EZIL:
A story that I’ve talked about many times about helping those with disabilities better embrace what tools and resources are available to, truly, make them feel “Just like everyone else.”. It is a tale of a teenage girl with a visual disability much like the one I had. However, unlike me, she is going to get some very divine intervention towards seeing how, as we learned from Snowdrop, one does not need their eyes to find their place in the world. Or, in Bo Foxtrot’s case, save the world from a cosmic entity who is well on his way to make the universe into what he and he alone believes it should be.
4: TRULY BLIND REVIEWS AND/OR COMMENTARY:
Higher than $3 tier patrons will suggest movies, shows, and/or other media for me, an individual who has no eyesight, to describe the imagination / mind’s eye perspective of what earns the most votes. (Could be me doing 10 minute reviews of what I perceive to be shown visually via YouTube videos and/or livestreamed.). These videos will be made available to the general public as they are meant to be part of the continuation of Coping With Limitations Through The Arts.
5: COPING WITH LIMITATIONS THROUGH THE ARTS:
Anyone remember the hard work that was done by so many people from all over the world that I lead to share how ‘My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic’ allowed those with disabilities to find a way to be known for more than their physical and/or psychological limitations? The time has come to bring it back by going beyond ‘My Little Pony’ and show other media that can allow the world to see beyond negative stereotypes and first-impression misconceptions.
Those above the $3 tier will be able to suggest what content to cover and how it should be seen as something to help society see beyond outdated beliefs on what defines someone as ‘High Functioning’ and ‘Low Functioning’. We can also perform interviews, shared analysis, ways to practice what is being shared as a positive source of content for those with disabilities, etc.
Thank you for all your time, patience, and support. No matter what, I look forward to moving forward with this plan, along with any you may suggest I can / should do, so that I can truly feel that I am living a fulfilling life that is more purposeful than being a infantilized, 43 year old, human who can only feel happy as a pretend dino-duckling who happily waddles and toddles in his diapers to play with his other imaginary friends.
PATREON LINK:
http://patreon.com/MatthewPalumbo
Your Pal,
---Yosh E. O’Ducky
Matthew S. Palumbo
It is now time to start discussing what I can offer through Patreon that would be worth paying the $3 per month rate and above. Feedback is appreciated as, until I can figure out how to find employment that is doable and reachable by someone with no eyesight, working with Lucca on the Patreon will be my job. (I grew up in a family that was very hardcore about staying busy and being a contributor. My father raised my sister and I both on how our limited vision did not make us exempt from these rules. This family philosophy carried over into my college / university years with my dad fixated on my continued education until I was able to get a job that paid over $50,000 USD per year. I then carried this deep-seated need to work and be a contributor as I tried to maintain multiple jobs over the years as what eyesight I had left continued to fade into nothing. The guilt I felt from believing I was not doing my part to support my family lead into my, nearly life-ending, Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). It is impossible to move past such heavily forced rules / definitions to be successful, but Lucca is helping me to know I am not a failure for how I cannot get a “real job”. Until then, the Patreon is going to help me transition to a healthier view on what defines success in my life. Should the Patreon succeed in some way of finding where I can continue to grow and contribute to society, great. If not, I thank all who had, have, and may consider supporting me during this time.).
QUACKY WORK FOR FUN:
http://patreon.com/MatthewPalumbo
PATREON BONUSES:
Most know that I post content on ‘Fur Affinity (FA)’ due to how it remains the most accessible to my screen reading software. It would be nice to go beyond FA as it is slowly starting to also become unusable to my screen reading software. Other sites for sharing and talking about the creative arts, sadly, are notably less accessible and, given Lucca’s help in taking what I write in .html and posting it directly to Patreon seeming to be fairly easy to do for him, I hope to bring you the following exclusives for the $3 tier…
1: Yosh & Peep’s Playful Parody of ‘The Binding of Isaac’
Back in 2016, Peep was introduced to a most interesting game by one of his Uncles. It had randomized dungeons, lots of unlocable content, years of upgraded content, and multiple routes a player could take to get one of many possible endings.
The game was described to me as if you were playing ‘The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past’, but with horror elements that played on religious themes. (My retina was about to detach for the second time that year when Peep got to play this game. I had begun to go color-blind with my available field of vision being compromised by regions of complete darkness.).
When Peep got his Nintendo Switch, he bought ‘The Binding of Isaac’ and, as a result of a prank we pulled on his older cousin, we kept talking about a game that could be made that would be just as fun in which keeps you coming back to play over-and-over that we codenamed, ‘The Binding of Madison’ / ‘The Binding of Chub’. (Peep still plays ‘The Binding of Isaac’ to this day, has all the DLC expansions, and has not yet unlocked all of the unlockable content.).
Since I cannot do programming code, but do have a background in Software Development & Project Management, I am going to utilize a spreadsheet, which will be converted to .PDF, to create this game. (FUN FACT: Peep tried using ‘SCRATCH’ to make the game, but it was very difficult with the limitations that ‘SCRATCH’ has given its use is primarily for creating simple programs to inspire future software developers.).
So, join Peep, Lucca, and I as we create a new take on this game that has held my son’s interest for over 7 years and inspired him to, without any Papa Ducky pressure, develop animation, art, and programming skills. (He also has taken up playing the guitar and, along with a class he was offered this year in High School, does play an instrument while trying to recreate songs from Anime and video games that he likes.).
2: METROID STORY FOR PEEP:
For those familiar with the famous bounty hunter, Samus Aran, from Nintendo’s ‘Metroid’ franchise, this will certainly be a fun treat and delightful change of pace from what you’ve all come to see me write so far.
This story has been building since 2010, when Peep was 3 years old and became an unstoppable fan of Samus and her Chozo Power Suit. Peep has played all the ‘Metroid’ games and finished them all, too! So, given he has played a few titles I never had a chance to play in the series, I’ve followed along with him and have discussed a concept for a follow-up, which now follows after the events of ‘Metroid: Prime 3’ and ‘Metroid: Dread’. The codename for this story is Metroid: Cryos Elektra.
The story takes place after Samus has been, due to her meddling in both the activities of the Space Pirates and Galactic Federation, has been forced into retirement. Old habits die hard and she learns that her old colleague, Anthony, who is from ‘Metroid: Other M’ sends out a distress message that finds its way to the bird-powered galactic hero. With her Zebesian friends, who also appeared in ‘Metroid: Fusion’, Samus overrides the monitoring systems installed into the Malkovich AI that the Federation installed into her gunship. She is now off to a distant world hidden within the frozen outskirts of a nearby solar system to help Anthony and discover what is going on within the mysterious, dwarf planet, Cryos Elektra.
3: PROJECT EZIL:
A story that I’ve talked about many times about helping those with disabilities better embrace what tools and resources are available to, truly, make them feel “Just like everyone else.”. It is a tale of a teenage girl with a visual disability much like the one I had. However, unlike me, she is going to get some very divine intervention towards seeing how, as we learned from Snowdrop, one does not need their eyes to find their place in the world. Or, in Bo Foxtrot’s case, save the world from a cosmic entity who is well on his way to make the universe into what he and he alone believes it should be.
4: TRULY BLIND REVIEWS AND/OR COMMENTARY:
Higher than $3 tier patrons will suggest movies, shows, and/or other media for me, an individual who has no eyesight, to describe the imagination / mind’s eye perspective of what earns the most votes. (Could be me doing 10 minute reviews of what I perceive to be shown visually via YouTube videos and/or livestreamed.). These videos will be made available to the general public as they are meant to be part of the continuation of Coping With Limitations Through The Arts.
5: COPING WITH LIMITATIONS THROUGH THE ARTS:
Anyone remember the hard work that was done by so many people from all over the world that I lead to share how ‘My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic’ allowed those with disabilities to find a way to be known for more than their physical and/or psychological limitations? The time has come to bring it back by going beyond ‘My Little Pony’ and show other media that can allow the world to see beyond negative stereotypes and first-impression misconceptions.
Those above the $3 tier will be able to suggest what content to cover and how it should be seen as something to help society see beyond outdated beliefs on what defines someone as ‘High Functioning’ and ‘Low Functioning’. We can also perform interviews, shared analysis, ways to practice what is being shared as a positive source of content for those with disabilities, etc.
Thank you for all your time, patience, and support. No matter what, I look forward to moving forward with this plan, along with any you may suggest I can / should do, so that I can truly feel that I am living a fulfilling life that is more purposeful than being a infantilized, 43 year old, human who can only feel happy as a pretend dino-duckling who happily waddles and toddles in his diapers to play with his other imaginary friends.
PATREON LINK:
http://patreon.com/MatthewPalumbo
Your Pal,
---Yosh E. O’Ducky
Matthew S. Palumbo
Star Day Follow-Up -- A New Journey Begins -- Part 1
Posted 2 years ago‘Star Day’ has come and gone until March 17th, 2024. However, I am definitely not going to forget to discuss those most important aspects of what ‘Star Day’ / my birthday means to me.
First of all, as ‘Star Day’ is a very obscure reference to The Land Before Time television series, please take a moment to check out the link below to see the episode of the show that inspired this ongoing tradition.
THE GREAT STAR DAY ADVENTURE:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoN.....Q19w4&t=9s
Put simply, ‘Star Day’ is taken from how Ruby, a new character added in the TV series and appearing in the 14th installment of the movie franchise, ‘Journey of the Brave’., was told by her parents how to know the approximate date in which she hatched from her egg based on the positioning of the stars at night.
WHERE I’VE BEEN:
You are never too old to learn new things. You are also never too old to use the power of hindsight / looking back on your life so far to see certain ‘patterns’ that are good, bad, or of little consequence either way.
What I’ve come to realize is how I’ve been swimming around in circles like one of those duck toys you try to catch at a carnival’s gaming booth. The first lap around is unlikely to result in being plucked from the itty-bitty, lazy river you share with the other toy ducks. Even the second, third, and fourth laps are not likely to find yourself picked out of the other ducks who are stuck in an endless loop of going around-and-around until someone happily pulls you out to start a new adventure in life.
The ‘Duck Catching Carnival Game’ is the big, wide world in which we all hope to find our place in. The ‘Toy Ducks’ represent how there are a lot of people trying to find their place where they can live a happy and fulfilling life. The ‘Lazy River’ / Watery Racetrack serves as an analogy for time and how it never stops moving steadily forward despite how one’s life may continue to not change / seemingly repeat the same sequence of events that result in knowing others are seen as wanted while you are not.
Growing up, I was always told that “You are just like everyone else.”. This lead me to be stuck in the lazy river loop until I finally accepted that I was not like everyone else and, as a result, finally began to embrace those tools needed to help me appear as smart and desirable as those who do not have a disadvantage brought about by a disability…
…Or so I thought.
Every job I have had since earning my Masters Degree in Business Administration has started out with me being praised for what I was able to do despite my visual limitations. About a year later, I would begin noticing less and less interaction with my superiors as I became gradually isolated from my colleagues. Finally, after approximately two years, those who once said, “We are like a family here!” and “We really like what you’ve been able to do for the company!” start to ignore me, place me into assignments that are next to impossible for anyone else to do, inform me of how my disability is a burden to my peers, and/or put into ever-growing, toxic work settings that force me to quit the job.
Back to the ‘Ducky Carnival Game’, I see how I’ve been stuck in this unending cycle of finding a place, being welcomed by my coworkers, and praised for my abilities and achievements by colleagues and customers. However, after completing 50% of the watery loop, all that praise, kindness, and feeling of comradery dissipates and is replaced by belittlement, isolation, and off-record insults and threats that make it impossible for me to keep the job without falling so deep into depression that I start considering self-destruction.
This process has been going on since I turned 26 years old. What’s worse is how, as a result of this awful cycle, I came to blame myself for my family’s troubles and felt the reason my, now, ex-wife did what she did and said what she said to me for years was my fault. (I know better now, but boy did I miss a billion ‘red flags’ that should have had me more than ready for her to leave me in 2018 despite all I had done to show how determined I was to show how capable I was as a father, husband, and contributor to society.).
When Lucca came to live with me, he taught me quite quickly about all the ways in which I had let myself be treated like a lesser person. He did not put it so bluntly, but his background in coping with hardships and the cruelty of others made my acceptance to continue going in circles while watching others succeed where I failed become extremely obvious. This lead me to do a lot more to advocate for myself to build in me true self-esteem and self-acceptance.
***
Lucca’s arrival in March of 2022 was the first time I really got a good look at the vicious cycle of endlessly swimming in circles, being put down by others, and seeing others succeed where I continued to fail in being what social norms expected of me since the day I was born. It is for this reason that I have taken my own initiative to be the best I can be. Success will be judged solely by myself with the goals of using ‘Patreon’ to share different forms of content, which I will go into during my next journal, along with align myself in such a way that those around me feel that doing things with and/or for me is not a chore, burden, inconvenience, etc. (Becoming a chore / burden to others is likely what resulted in the endless loops in the ducky lazy river of life I’ve experienced up to this point. I also know my son, Peep, worries that he is obligated to me over just being his true a lovable self.).
THE PATREON LINK:
patreon.com/MatthewPalumbo
Your support of $3 per month helps me feel a sense of purpose beyond being browbeaten by society and those who serve it to continuously loop around the track of life and left behind and alone as a result of just how limiting having no eyesight is. (Seriously, DO NOT TAKE YOUR EYESIGHT FOR GRANTED and always do all you can to ANNUAL EYE EXAMS. To not do so will be asking for a life where the world perceives you as a bothersome toddler who wants to be just like the big kids, but cannot. Having to rely on others for nearly everything is depressing, annoying, and makes you despise your own humanity for how society makes little, to absolutely no, effort to bridge the gap between your actual abilities with its expectations.).
More uplifting content, along with more Snowdrop related fun will start as soon as I can sit and write the next journal. In the meantime, I thank you all for your patience, understanding, and support as I bravely head out on this new goal of giving my life more meaning than being a lost, little duckling who has to eternally tug at his Papa’s pants while being dismissed by others for being so different.
Your Pal,
---Yosh E. O’Ducky
Matthew S. Palumbo
First of all, as ‘Star Day’ is a very obscure reference to The Land Before Time television series, please take a moment to check out the link below to see the episode of the show that inspired this ongoing tradition.
THE GREAT STAR DAY ADVENTURE:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoN.....Q19w4&t=9s
Put simply, ‘Star Day’ is taken from how Ruby, a new character added in the TV series and appearing in the 14th installment of the movie franchise, ‘Journey of the Brave’., was told by her parents how to know the approximate date in which she hatched from her egg based on the positioning of the stars at night.
WHERE I’VE BEEN:
You are never too old to learn new things. You are also never too old to use the power of hindsight / looking back on your life so far to see certain ‘patterns’ that are good, bad, or of little consequence either way.
What I’ve come to realize is how I’ve been swimming around in circles like one of those duck toys you try to catch at a carnival’s gaming booth. The first lap around is unlikely to result in being plucked from the itty-bitty, lazy river you share with the other toy ducks. Even the second, third, and fourth laps are not likely to find yourself picked out of the other ducks who are stuck in an endless loop of going around-and-around until someone happily pulls you out to start a new adventure in life.
The ‘Duck Catching Carnival Game’ is the big, wide world in which we all hope to find our place in. The ‘Toy Ducks’ represent how there are a lot of people trying to find their place where they can live a happy and fulfilling life. The ‘Lazy River’ / Watery Racetrack serves as an analogy for time and how it never stops moving steadily forward despite how one’s life may continue to not change / seemingly repeat the same sequence of events that result in knowing others are seen as wanted while you are not.
Growing up, I was always told that “You are just like everyone else.”. This lead me to be stuck in the lazy river loop until I finally accepted that I was not like everyone else and, as a result, finally began to embrace those tools needed to help me appear as smart and desirable as those who do not have a disadvantage brought about by a disability…
…Or so I thought.
Every job I have had since earning my Masters Degree in Business Administration has started out with me being praised for what I was able to do despite my visual limitations. About a year later, I would begin noticing less and less interaction with my superiors as I became gradually isolated from my colleagues. Finally, after approximately two years, those who once said, “We are like a family here!” and “We really like what you’ve been able to do for the company!” start to ignore me, place me into assignments that are next to impossible for anyone else to do, inform me of how my disability is a burden to my peers, and/or put into ever-growing, toxic work settings that force me to quit the job.
Back to the ‘Ducky Carnival Game’, I see how I’ve been stuck in this unending cycle of finding a place, being welcomed by my coworkers, and praised for my abilities and achievements by colleagues and customers. However, after completing 50% of the watery loop, all that praise, kindness, and feeling of comradery dissipates and is replaced by belittlement, isolation, and off-record insults and threats that make it impossible for me to keep the job without falling so deep into depression that I start considering self-destruction.
This process has been going on since I turned 26 years old. What’s worse is how, as a result of this awful cycle, I came to blame myself for my family’s troubles and felt the reason my, now, ex-wife did what she did and said what she said to me for years was my fault. (I know better now, but boy did I miss a billion ‘red flags’ that should have had me more than ready for her to leave me in 2018 despite all I had done to show how determined I was to show how capable I was as a father, husband, and contributor to society.).
When Lucca came to live with me, he taught me quite quickly about all the ways in which I had let myself be treated like a lesser person. He did not put it so bluntly, but his background in coping with hardships and the cruelty of others made my acceptance to continue going in circles while watching others succeed where I failed become extremely obvious. This lead me to do a lot more to advocate for myself to build in me true self-esteem and self-acceptance.
***
Lucca’s arrival in March of 2022 was the first time I really got a good look at the vicious cycle of endlessly swimming in circles, being put down by others, and seeing others succeed where I continued to fail in being what social norms expected of me since the day I was born. It is for this reason that I have taken my own initiative to be the best I can be. Success will be judged solely by myself with the goals of using ‘Patreon’ to share different forms of content, which I will go into during my next journal, along with align myself in such a way that those around me feel that doing things with and/or for me is not a chore, burden, inconvenience, etc. (Becoming a chore / burden to others is likely what resulted in the endless loops in the ducky lazy river of life I’ve experienced up to this point. I also know my son, Peep, worries that he is obligated to me over just being his true a lovable self.).
THE PATREON LINK:
patreon.com/MatthewPalumbo
Your support of $3 per month helps me feel a sense of purpose beyond being browbeaten by society and those who serve it to continuously loop around the track of life and left behind and alone as a result of just how limiting having no eyesight is. (Seriously, DO NOT TAKE YOUR EYESIGHT FOR GRANTED and always do all you can to ANNUAL EYE EXAMS. To not do so will be asking for a life where the world perceives you as a bothersome toddler who wants to be just like the big kids, but cannot. Having to rely on others for nearly everything is depressing, annoying, and makes you despise your own humanity for how society makes little, to absolutely no, effort to bridge the gap between your actual abilities with its expectations.).
More uplifting content, along with more Snowdrop related fun will start as soon as I can sit and write the next journal. In the meantime, I thank you all for your patience, understanding, and support as I bravely head out on this new goal of giving my life more meaning than being a lost, little duckling who has to eternally tug at his Papa’s pants while being dismissed by others for being so different.
Your Pal,
---Yosh E. O’Ducky
Matthew S. Palumbo
Post Suspension Journal #3 -- Yosheo On Patreon
Posted 2 years agoHamha:
Here’s what’s new in story commissions and all things dino-duckling!
----
CURRENT STORY COMMISSIONS:
1:
littlebeararnold - Need to finish ‘Part 5’ and rest of the story. (Likely offer refund due to horrible delays in completion.).
2: Anonymous – Satisfied with ‘Revision 2’, but I will feel better after making ‘Revision 3’ even more to their liking.
3:
nishi - Alphys & Berdly story (Story in progress) {(Stories for ‘A Disrupted Duckerss’, and ‘Ham-Ham Hijinx At T.O.T.S.’ are already completed and posted.)}
YOSH ON PATREON:
patreon.com/MatthewPalumbo
For those who read the journal I recently shared about my transition to ‘Yosheo 2.0’, it is no surprise that I am working with my partner, lucca, to create a means in which to ‘Simulate Employment’. The way that I felt would work best would be to create a Patreon that, for as little as $1.50 per month, you can follow and see classic, forthcoming, and special projects that I am working on with the lovey-care of my Cutie Patootie.
If you want to get an idea of what kind of creative content exists on our Patreon, please visit the link below…
patreon.com/MatthewPalumbo
Starting this week, you can expect to see ‘2 Updates’ each week. The Monday / Tuesday one will feature classic content that may amaze you to see that I was able to do during the time I went from having usable eyesight to absolutely no eyesight at all. The Friday / Saturday post will be the latest story that is meant to be a Sci-Fi / Fantasy / Motivation tale of a teenage fox who is struggling to ”Be just like everyone else” despite having been born with a degenerative eye disease. (If this sounds familiar, it is because the story has always been intended to be done as a way to help me better accept my life’s circumstances while helping to encourage those with low vision to [bnot[/b] make the same mistakes that I did in only ever fooling myself when it came to “Being just like everyone else.”).
This story, which is written in a style similar to the first Further Realms: Creative Campaign. It uses short chapters to make reading the story easy in a world where finding time to go through five, or more, pages of text at a time is hard to do given how many things in our modern lives tend to compete for our available time.
The story is called Project: Ezil and is different from other works most have come to know me for. What makes it different is how our protagonist / lead character, Bo Foxtrot, is based after my true self and those feelings I had about so desperately wanting to be Just like everyone else.” despite how, deep down, I knew I wasn’t and was too afraid of how I’d be further ostracized / bullied for seeking and/or using what help was available to assist me in keeping up with my classmates.
I hope you will enjoy reading Project: Ezil. The target audience is those between the ages of 12 and 19 who are struggling with how their disability, in this case it is ‘Low Vision’, impacts their quality of life, social status, and overall perception of what future lies after graduating from High School.
Also, as March 2023 marks the 10th anniversary of the inspirational, fan animation, Snowdrop, you can expect me to be posting about the ”Filly of Frozen Tears” who was brought to us by Meredith Simms and the talented team at Silly Filly Studios.
FUTURE OF YOSHEO PATREON:
As Lucca and I further work towards making our disabilities into capabilities through our forthcoming celebration of a whole year together, we will also be giving genuine reasons for those of you who pledge over the $1.50 per month tier. Most upper-tier benefits will revolve around being able to receive physical copies of genuine works that Lucca and I will be doing to show how having no physical eyesight does not mean one cannot make art. Other examples will be influence on upcoming stories that I will be writing and having a say in what topics I will cover as Yosheo Pateon becomes the continuing point for ‘Coping With Limitations Through Pony’ by expanding towards what it has always been meant to be, ‘Coping With Limitations Through The Arts’.
Thank you for all of your patience, support, and friendship. It’s hard to believe how much has happened over the nearly 15 Years that I’ve been a part of this ‘Little’ community of ours. I look forward to continuing my journey with all of you as we kindly welcome those who are seeking ‘Acceptance’, ‘Understanding’, ‘Empowerment’, and ‘Community’ in a world that, most unfortunately, largely values outdated social norms over taking even the briefest of moments to see how wrong ‘First Impressions’ are when it comes to seeing just how capable the disabled truly are if allowed the chance to be seen as more than what has been passed on from generation-to-generation without ever being questioned for the validity of such mindless ignorance. (If one cannot rely on a resource dated five years prior to the current date in completing collegiate documents, why do we accept perceptions on the disabled that are, in some cases, cited from sources dating back 10, or more, years ago?).
Once again, if you are interested, our Patreon can be found at…
patreon.com/MatthewPalumbo
Your Pal,
---Yosh E. O’Ducky ;)
Here’s what’s new in story commissions and all things dino-duckling!
----
CURRENT STORY COMMISSIONS:
1:
littlebeararnold - Need to finish ‘Part 5’ and rest of the story. (Likely offer refund due to horrible delays in completion.).2: Anonymous – Satisfied with ‘Revision 2’, but I will feel better after making ‘Revision 3’ even more to their liking.
3:
nishi - Alphys & Berdly story (Story in progress) {(Stories for ‘A Disrupted Duckerss’, and ‘Ham-Ham Hijinx At T.O.T.S.’ are already completed and posted.)} YOSH ON PATREON:
patreon.com/MatthewPalumbo
For those who read the journal I recently shared about my transition to ‘Yosheo 2.0’, it is no surprise that I am working with my partner,
lucca, to create a means in which to ‘Simulate Employment’. The way that I felt would work best would be to create a Patreon that, for as little as $1.50 per month, you can follow and see classic, forthcoming, and special projects that I am working on with the lovey-care of my Cutie Patootie.If you want to get an idea of what kind of creative content exists on our Patreon, please visit the link below…
patreon.com/MatthewPalumbo
Starting this week, you can expect to see ‘2 Updates’ each week. The Monday / Tuesday one will feature classic content that may amaze you to see that I was able to do during the time I went from having usable eyesight to absolutely no eyesight at all. The Friday / Saturday post will be the latest story that is meant to be a Sci-Fi / Fantasy / Motivation tale of a teenage fox who is struggling to ”Be just like everyone else” despite having been born with a degenerative eye disease. (If this sounds familiar, it is because the story has always been intended to be done as a way to help me better accept my life’s circumstances while helping to encourage those with low vision to [bnot[/b] make the same mistakes that I did in only ever fooling myself when it came to “Being just like everyone else.”).
This story, which is written in a style similar to the first Further Realms: Creative Campaign. It uses short chapters to make reading the story easy in a world where finding time to go through five, or more, pages of text at a time is hard to do given how many things in our modern lives tend to compete for our available time.
The story is called Project: Ezil and is different from other works most have come to know me for. What makes it different is how our protagonist / lead character, Bo Foxtrot, is based after my true self and those feelings I had about so desperately wanting to be Just like everyone else.” despite how, deep down, I knew I wasn’t and was too afraid of how I’d be further ostracized / bullied for seeking and/or using what help was available to assist me in keeping up with my classmates.
I hope you will enjoy reading Project: Ezil. The target audience is those between the ages of 12 and 19 who are struggling with how their disability, in this case it is ‘Low Vision’, impacts their quality of life, social status, and overall perception of what future lies after graduating from High School.
Also, as March 2023 marks the 10th anniversary of the inspirational, fan animation, Snowdrop, you can expect me to be posting about the ”Filly of Frozen Tears” who was brought to us by Meredith Simms and the talented team at Silly Filly Studios.
FUTURE OF YOSHEO PATREON:
As Lucca and I further work towards making our disabilities into capabilities through our forthcoming celebration of a whole year together, we will also be giving genuine reasons for those of you who pledge over the $1.50 per month tier. Most upper-tier benefits will revolve around being able to receive physical copies of genuine works that Lucca and I will be doing to show how having no physical eyesight does not mean one cannot make art. Other examples will be influence on upcoming stories that I will be writing and having a say in what topics I will cover as Yosheo Pateon becomes the continuing point for ‘Coping With Limitations Through Pony’ by expanding towards what it has always been meant to be, ‘Coping With Limitations Through The Arts’.
Thank you for all of your patience, support, and friendship. It’s hard to believe how much has happened over the nearly 15 Years that I’ve been a part of this ‘Little’ community of ours. I look forward to continuing my journey with all of you as we kindly welcome those who are seeking ‘Acceptance’, ‘Understanding’, ‘Empowerment’, and ‘Community’ in a world that, most unfortunately, largely values outdated social norms over taking even the briefest of moments to see how wrong ‘First Impressions’ are when it comes to seeing just how capable the disabled truly are if allowed the chance to be seen as more than what has been passed on from generation-to-generation without ever being questioned for the validity of such mindless ignorance. (If one cannot rely on a resource dated five years prior to the current date in completing collegiate documents, why do we accept perceptions on the disabled that are, in some cases, cited from sources dating back 10, or more, years ago?).
Once again, if you are interested, our Patreon can be found at…
patreon.com/MatthewPalumbo
Your Pal,
---Yosh E. O’Ducky ;)
Post Suspension #2 - Uncle Yosheo???
Posted 2 years agoHamha!
About two months ago, my mom told me that my sister, Winry, was pregnant.
As you may expect, especially if you are familiar with my sister and her husband, Flynn Hoot, the likelihood of the two ever bringing a new life into this world seemed too farfetch’d to believe. The initial reason is that, ever since she and Flynn got married, the couple did not appreciate being asked if they would bring a cousin into this world for Peep to play with. My mother, Mrs. O’Ducky, really wanted to have more than Peep as a grandchild to unleash her grandma powers upon. However, as I had been told on multiple occasions, Winry’s visual disability, which is the same as mine despite being born three years after I was, had an additional issue of her being born without an iris. (When Peep was born, we had about a 4% chance of him entering The Big Wide World with Glaucoma. If he had, treatments for controlling Glaucoma had gotten to where he would have been able to live a normal life with only a fraction of the surgeries, medications, and sight loss I experienced since having been born in 1980.)
As of 2022, Glaucoma has become understood enough to all but eliminate the possibility of being born with such a degenerative, ocular disease. However, when I was last informed, being born without an iris was still at approximately 50%.
Winry & Flynn came to visit Peep for his 16th birthday back in mid-January. I promised my mom that I would not say anything about how she had informed me of a bun baking in my sister’s oven. This eventually did lead to Flynn sharing how my mom’s information was 100% legit!
The baby, which is a boy, will be referred to by me as ‘Little G’ until they settle on a name for the bundle of joy that is expected to be delivered sometime in July. Apparently, Winry’s pregnancy is high risk. Not much was shared as to what results in such above average risk of a miscarriage. But I do know that Winry will be turning 40 four days after my ‘15th Star Day’. (Age is relevant as successfully carrying a child to term without any major complications increases with age.).
What has gotten me down is how I will likely not be able to see my nephew in more ways than one. Winry still seems to disregard Lucca and, given the pregnancy is ‘High risk’, it is unlikely my sister will be fit to travel to where I live after their tentatively scheduled visit around Easter / April 9th.
Regardless, Lucca and I have been active in acquiring items to help ‘Little G’. Most may not know this, but my Cutie-Patootie has gotten a solid reputation within some local groups that focus on helping each other through the donation of items. Lucca has found things to give while also finding things to get that help us with the house, ‘Little G’, and members of community who may not be able to as easily acquire those things they may need to live an optimal life given their particular circumstances. Lucca has even earned the epic title of ‘The Giving Machine’ by one of the groups’ founders! Ya, Lovey!
We’ll keep you updated on ‘Little G’ and the “SCIENCE” that made him possible after being an apparent ‘Top Secret Project’ by Flynn & Winry for over the past five years.
Thanks for all of your support and, if you have the time to do so, please give our Patreon a look. I plan to use it to improve my overall mental health through it serving as a ‘Job’ until a miracle may happen to allow me to be seen for my abilities, educational background, and professional experience by an employer over continuously being denied, forced out, and silently discriminated against as a result of being 100% blind.
Your Pal: yosh-e-o
---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)
About two months ago, my mom told me that my sister, Winry, was pregnant.
As you may expect, especially if you are familiar with my sister and her husband, Flynn Hoot, the likelihood of the two ever bringing a new life into this world seemed too farfetch’d to believe. The initial reason is that, ever since she and Flynn got married, the couple did not appreciate being asked if they would bring a cousin into this world for Peep to play with. My mother, Mrs. O’Ducky, really wanted to have more than Peep as a grandchild to unleash her grandma powers upon. However, as I had been told on multiple occasions, Winry’s visual disability, which is the same as mine despite being born three years after I was, had an additional issue of her being born without an iris. (When Peep was born, we had about a 4% chance of him entering The Big Wide World with Glaucoma. If he had, treatments for controlling Glaucoma had gotten to where he would have been able to live a normal life with only a fraction of the surgeries, medications, and sight loss I experienced since having been born in 1980.)
As of 2022, Glaucoma has become understood enough to all but eliminate the possibility of being born with such a degenerative, ocular disease. However, when I was last informed, being born without an iris was still at approximately 50%.
Winry & Flynn came to visit Peep for his 16th birthday back in mid-January. I promised my mom that I would not say anything about how she had informed me of a bun baking in my sister’s oven. This eventually did lead to Flynn sharing how my mom’s information was 100% legit!
The baby, which is a boy, will be referred to by me as ‘Little G’ until they settle on a name for the bundle of joy that is expected to be delivered sometime in July. Apparently, Winry’s pregnancy is high risk. Not much was shared as to what results in such above average risk of a miscarriage. But I do know that Winry will be turning 40 four days after my ‘15th Star Day’. (Age is relevant as successfully carrying a child to term without any major complications increases with age.).
What has gotten me down is how I will likely not be able to see my nephew in more ways than one. Winry still seems to disregard Lucca and, given the pregnancy is ‘High risk’, it is unlikely my sister will be fit to travel to where I live after their tentatively scheduled visit around Easter / April 9th.
Regardless, Lucca and I have been active in acquiring items to help ‘Little G’. Most may not know this, but my Cutie-Patootie has gotten a solid reputation within some local groups that focus on helping each other through the donation of items. Lucca has found things to give while also finding things to get that help us with the house, ‘Little G’, and members of community who may not be able to as easily acquire those things they may need to live an optimal life given their particular circumstances. Lucca has even earned the epic title of ‘The Giving Machine’ by one of the groups’ founders! Ya, Lovey!
We’ll keep you updated on ‘Little G’ and the “SCIENCE” that made him possible after being an apparent ‘Top Secret Project’ by Flynn & Winry for over the past five years.
Thanks for all of your support and, if you have the time to do so, please give our Patreon a look. I plan to use it to improve my overall mental health through it serving as a ‘Job’ until a miracle may happen to allow me to be seen for my abilities, educational background, and professional experience by an employer over continuously being denied, forced out, and silently discriminated against as a result of being 100% blind.
Your Pal:
yosh-e-o---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)
Post Suspension #1 -- Becoming Yosheo 2.0
Posted 2 years agoHamha!
Allow me to start by apologizing for, yet again, disappearing without a trace. This time around, though, it was for a very good reason.
As most of you know, I was declared 100% blind on December 15th, 2016. I had been losing my physical eyesight since the day I was born as a result of Congenital Glaucoma. Despite many doctors prognosis of my eyesight being lost before I turned a year old, I managed to retain various levels of ‘usable vision’ until about the end of September of 2016. (My retina detached in my right eye sometime between the end of September and beginning of October. This resulted in my third retinal reattachment since August 2012. The reattachment did not work, but my brain had thought it had made some level of recovery through what is known as ‘Charles Bennet Syndrome’. Charles Bennet Syndrome is a fancy way of saying what I saw was actually a hallucination fabricated by my brain using preexisting visual data to adapt to the optic nerve providing no visual data for my brain to process.).
This is a good time for me to share how, I feel, it is better to be born blind over losing all your physical eyesight over the course of your life. Why? Without ever having eyesight allows you, in my opinion, to remain blissfully ignorant towards all in which one can do through the gift of eyesight. However, as is often said of many things, “You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.”.
I lost my left eye’s functionality before I turned six years old, but the vision in my right made me barely remember, or even miss, having use of my left eye. This is because my right eye still allowed me to read books, play cards, and earn a genuine reputation as a gamer throughout my primary, secondary, undergraduate, and graduate studies. Unfortunately, Glaucoma has no cure, yet, and eye transplants will not be even in the human trial stages until well after I waddle off to that great duck pond in the sky. What this meant is my efforts to prevent going 100% blind would eventually start to fail until all viable surgical interventions had become exhausted. It just so happened that this process was expedited by underestimating a ‘Epithelium Defect’ / dry spot on my cornea that came with the completion of an otherwise successful cataract surgery in November 2006. (Dry spots / epithelium defects are common after eye surgery due to how they have to use ‘special tools’ to keep your eyelids open throughout the course of the procedure. Those without a lifelong ocular disease recover from this dryness without anything more than a few rewetting drops and/or ointments. Since my eye had nearly 27 years of disease afflicting it, the harmless defect was not able to recover. This resulted in the formation of a ‘Corneal Ulcer’, which is what took my left eye’s sight back in 1985.).
The reason doctors ‘Practice’ medicine is due to how no two humans are truly alike. Those who suffered from coursework in ‘Statistics’ and/or ‘Calculous’ should be familiar with what is known as a ‘Bell Shaped Curve’. Those not born, or later afflicted, with a chronic condition fall into the middle region / zero point of this statistical measurement. More than 80% of humanity is well within this ideal point for receiving successful medical care.
Since it is impossible to account for hundreds upon thousands of atypical possibilities, doctors are taught what will be able to help the majority of patients while knowing to expect cases that do not follow the tried-and-true treatments in which have become successfully established. Thankfully most doctors use ‘best practices’ while identifying ways in which to treat those who, like me, become ‘Outliers’ who do not fall safely within the ‘Standard Deviation’ / ‘Bell Shaped Curve’ of medical cases.
So what does this have to do with my on-and-off activity online with my friends and followers? Well, given 2017 was my first year learning to acclimate as someone with zero eyesight, 2018 was when ‘Tina Bear’ left me while I took on my first job since losing all my eyesight, 2019 was when my right eye had to be physically removed from my body, 2020 was when I lost the job I had gotten in 2018, 2021 was when I got the first job that was ‘supposed’ to help gainfully employ those of us with profound disabilities before learning they really did not, and 2022 was Lucca moving in with me as everyone who possibly could make my life miserable made sure to do so with the physical removal of my left eye headlining all the psychological trauma 2022 had to offer my way.
Lucca has helped me to FINALLY start the genuine process of moving past the life I had with eyesight to the life I now live where I will never see anything for myself ever again. He has been insanely patient as he works to help me feel good about the person I am and what I can do without feeling burdened by what once was and will never be again. The result is that I have become Lucca’s Lil’ Duckling in adventuring about the city in search of what can best assist us in making our home into our home. When I waddle behind Lucca from place-to-place on an almost daily basis, I do not think of my past life. I also do not slip into a deep, dark depression when I perform chores and execute physical labors that help Lucca to create a happy home that, through him, I see without having the need for my eyes. (I smile when I visualize my diapered-duckling self cheerfully flapping behind ‘Papa Lucca’. Helping Lucca makes me a happy dino-ducky boy and nuthatch girl who is, when all is done for the day, can do my best creative work while feeling proud to be all of who and what I am.).
Thank you for following me on my journey and extra thanks for all of your support to Lucca until I was able to bring him to be my partner / caretaker. We make a great team that will increasingly be bringing you amazing stories and art that go well beyond our respective disabilities.
Your Pal,
Your Pal:
yosh-e-o
---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)[/b][/i]
Allow me to start by apologizing for, yet again, disappearing without a trace. This time around, though, it was for a very good reason.
As most of you know, I was declared 100% blind on December 15th, 2016. I had been losing my physical eyesight since the day I was born as a result of Congenital Glaucoma. Despite many doctors prognosis of my eyesight being lost before I turned a year old, I managed to retain various levels of ‘usable vision’ until about the end of September of 2016. (My retina detached in my right eye sometime between the end of September and beginning of October. This resulted in my third retinal reattachment since August 2012. The reattachment did not work, but my brain had thought it had made some level of recovery through what is known as ‘Charles Bennet Syndrome’. Charles Bennet Syndrome is a fancy way of saying what I saw was actually a hallucination fabricated by my brain using preexisting visual data to adapt to the optic nerve providing no visual data for my brain to process.).
This is a good time for me to share how, I feel, it is better to be born blind over losing all your physical eyesight over the course of your life. Why? Without ever having eyesight allows you, in my opinion, to remain blissfully ignorant towards all in which one can do through the gift of eyesight. However, as is often said of many things, “You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.”.
I lost my left eye’s functionality before I turned six years old, but the vision in my right made me barely remember, or even miss, having use of my left eye. This is because my right eye still allowed me to read books, play cards, and earn a genuine reputation as a gamer throughout my primary, secondary, undergraduate, and graduate studies. Unfortunately, Glaucoma has no cure, yet, and eye transplants will not be even in the human trial stages until well after I waddle off to that great duck pond in the sky. What this meant is my efforts to prevent going 100% blind would eventually start to fail until all viable surgical interventions had become exhausted. It just so happened that this process was expedited by underestimating a ‘Epithelium Defect’ / dry spot on my cornea that came with the completion of an otherwise successful cataract surgery in November 2006. (Dry spots / epithelium defects are common after eye surgery due to how they have to use ‘special tools’ to keep your eyelids open throughout the course of the procedure. Those without a lifelong ocular disease recover from this dryness without anything more than a few rewetting drops and/or ointments. Since my eye had nearly 27 years of disease afflicting it, the harmless defect was not able to recover. This resulted in the formation of a ‘Corneal Ulcer’, which is what took my left eye’s sight back in 1985.).
The reason doctors ‘Practice’ medicine is due to how no two humans are truly alike. Those who suffered from coursework in ‘Statistics’ and/or ‘Calculous’ should be familiar with what is known as a ‘Bell Shaped Curve’. Those not born, or later afflicted, with a chronic condition fall into the middle region / zero point of this statistical measurement. More than 80% of humanity is well within this ideal point for receiving successful medical care.
Since it is impossible to account for hundreds upon thousands of atypical possibilities, doctors are taught what will be able to help the majority of patients while knowing to expect cases that do not follow the tried-and-true treatments in which have become successfully established. Thankfully most doctors use ‘best practices’ while identifying ways in which to treat those who, like me, become ‘Outliers’ who do not fall safely within the ‘Standard Deviation’ / ‘Bell Shaped Curve’ of medical cases.
So what does this have to do with my on-and-off activity online with my friends and followers? Well, given 2017 was my first year learning to acclimate as someone with zero eyesight, 2018 was when ‘Tina Bear’ left me while I took on my first job since losing all my eyesight, 2019 was when my right eye had to be physically removed from my body, 2020 was when I lost the job I had gotten in 2018, 2021 was when I got the first job that was ‘supposed’ to help gainfully employ those of us with profound disabilities before learning they really did not, and 2022 was Lucca moving in with me as everyone who possibly could make my life miserable made sure to do so with the physical removal of my left eye headlining all the psychological trauma 2022 had to offer my way.
Lucca has helped me to FINALLY start the genuine process of moving past the life I had with eyesight to the life I now live where I will never see anything for myself ever again. He has been insanely patient as he works to help me feel good about the person I am and what I can do without feeling burdened by what once was and will never be again. The result is that I have become Lucca’s Lil’ Duckling in adventuring about the city in search of what can best assist us in making our home into our home. When I waddle behind Lucca from place-to-place on an almost daily basis, I do not think of my past life. I also do not slip into a deep, dark depression when I perform chores and execute physical labors that help Lucca to create a happy home that, through him, I see without having the need for my eyes. (I smile when I visualize my diapered-duckling self cheerfully flapping behind ‘Papa Lucca’. Helping Lucca makes me a happy dino-ducky boy and nuthatch girl who is, when all is done for the day, can do my best creative work while feeling proud to be all of who and what I am.).
Thank you for following me on my journey and extra thanks for all of your support to Lucca until I was able to bring him to be my partner / caretaker. We make a great team that will increasingly be bringing you amazing stories and art that go well beyond our respective disabilities.
Your Pal,
Your Pal:
yosh-e-o---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)[/b][/i]
This Dino-Ducky Has Got a Plan!
Posted 3 years agoHamha:
Here’s what’s new in story commissions and all things dino-duckling!
----
CURRENT STORY COMMISSIONS:
1: littlebeararnold - Awaiting review of ‘Part 4’ while starting into ‘Part 5’.
2: Anonymous – Initial Revision #2 in progress
3: nishi - T.O.T.S. (Tiny Ones Transport Service) is 50% complete
4: nishi - Alphys & Berdly story (Developing story outline)
5: -- Open --
THOUGHTS FROM THE CHANGING TABLE:
I often think of Yosh being carried to the changing table, lifted up from under his armpits, gently laid upon the pillow-like pad, getting a binky / dummy slipped into his mouth, and one of [i]Quack-Quack’s Learning Farm’s caretaking staff gently popping open the snaps of his shorts and/or onesie to begin the delicate process of cleaning up the used diaper, freshening up the new diaper, putting the poppers back in place on his clothes to seal away the absorbent undergarment, and sending him on his way back to play with his pals in the playroom.
It's hard to believe that Quack-Quack’s Learning Farm has been around since my first ‘Star Day’ here on FA, which I celebrated back on March 17th, 2009.
Since its creation, Quack-Quack’s Learning Farm has developed quite a lot. Numerous tales that I’ve written over the past 14 years have featured this daycare as the location where Yosh has interacted with original characters (OCs) created by friends both old and new,. Each adventure at Quack-Quack’s Learning Farm building upon what has made my character who he is today while also getting to show so many people how truly I appreciate their friendship.
***
So, before my beak goes on-and-on without getting to the point, I wanted to share how 2023 is going to be spent making my stories more accessible to readers both old and new. This will be done with Lucca’s help in utilizing an Archive of Our Own (AO3) account that can be found by looking me up by the OC Lucca helped me to create, ‘Celeste Nuthatch’.
The other way my stories will be made easier to find and enjoy will be my personal effort to go through my entire gallery on FA, create as many folders as will be needed to organize the various types of tales I’ve written, and know that it is no longer such a chore for anyone who may be interested to check out specific content that I’ve developed over 14 years. (This will be quite tedious, but it will also help me to acquire those stories for Lucca to review and ready for their placement on AO3.).
***
A big part of making my stories more visible to interested readers is my 2023 plan to utilize a site, like Patreon, to further spread my past, present, and future work while earning, hopefully, a little extra money to help Lucca and I with the ever-increasing costs that utility companies and the grocery store are passing down to everyone. In 2022, the electric company and gas company were permitted to increase their rates by over 20%! This made a notable difference in how much of our fixed income we could use on home goods, repairs, and modifications that assist Lucca and I in living our best life despite our respective disabilities. Being ineligible, despite being told that I was eligible, for ‘Food Stamps’ and ‘Energy Assistance’ doesn’t help much either. (Funny how I make too much money with my monthly Social security Disability (SSDI) benefits to get some much needed aid to make end meet until I can either find a suitable job, or succeed as a content creator alongside my lovey, Lucca.).
Along with stories, I’m experimenting with trying to offer my voice talent to those looking for someone who can really sell a ‘Smooth Jazz’ radio station DJ. (I have some other voices I am working with and may see if my son, Peep, may want in on the fun, too.).
I’m also looking to try and continue Coping With Limitations Through The Arts by finding ways in which to successfully create video clips, still images, and other material from media that, like ‘My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic’, has helped in uniting people through talents and interests over being separated by toxic social norms, misconceptions of physical and/or psychological disabilities, etc.
***
Well, Papa Lucca is ready to tuck me in for the night. So, if you read the above, I thank you for your time along with any thoughts, advice, or support you may be able to offer through comments and/or private messages (PMs).
Your Pal,[
---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)
Here’s what’s new in story commissions and all things dino-duckling!
----
CURRENT STORY COMMISSIONS:
1:
littlebeararnold - Awaiting review of ‘Part 4’ while starting into ‘Part 5’.2: Anonymous – Initial Revision #2 in progress
3:
nishi - T.O.T.S. (Tiny Ones Transport Service) is 50% complete4:
nishi - Alphys & Berdly story (Developing story outline) 5: -- Open --
THOUGHTS FROM THE CHANGING TABLE:
I often think of Yosh being carried to the changing table, lifted up from under his armpits, gently laid upon the pillow-like pad, getting a binky / dummy slipped into his mouth, and one of [i]Quack-Quack’s Learning Farm’s caretaking staff gently popping open the snaps of his shorts and/or onesie to begin the delicate process of cleaning up the used diaper, freshening up the new diaper, putting the poppers back in place on his clothes to seal away the absorbent undergarment, and sending him on his way back to play with his pals in the playroom.
It's hard to believe that Quack-Quack’s Learning Farm has been around since my first ‘Star Day’ here on FA, which I celebrated back on March 17th, 2009.
Since its creation, Quack-Quack’s Learning Farm has developed quite a lot. Numerous tales that I’ve written over the past 14 years have featured this daycare as the location where Yosh has interacted with original characters (OCs) created by friends both old and new,. Each adventure at Quack-Quack’s Learning Farm building upon what has made my character who he is today while also getting to show so many people how truly I appreciate their friendship.
***
So, before my beak goes on-and-on without getting to the point, I wanted to share how 2023 is going to be spent making my stories more accessible to readers both old and new. This will be done with Lucca’s help in utilizing an Archive of Our Own (AO3) account that can be found by looking me up by the OC Lucca helped me to create, ‘Celeste Nuthatch’.
The other way my stories will be made easier to find and enjoy will be my personal effort to go through my entire gallery on FA, create as many folders as will be needed to organize the various types of tales I’ve written, and know that it is no longer such a chore for anyone who may be interested to check out specific content that I’ve developed over 14 years. (This will be quite tedious, but it will also help me to acquire those stories for Lucca to review and ready for their placement on AO3.).
***
A big part of making my stories more visible to interested readers is my 2023 plan to utilize a site, like Patreon, to further spread my past, present, and future work while earning, hopefully, a little extra money to help Lucca and I with the ever-increasing costs that utility companies and the grocery store are passing down to everyone. In 2022, the electric company and gas company were permitted to increase their rates by over 20%! This made a notable difference in how much of our fixed income we could use on home goods, repairs, and modifications that assist Lucca and I in living our best life despite our respective disabilities. Being ineligible, despite being told that I was eligible, for ‘Food Stamps’ and ‘Energy Assistance’ doesn’t help much either. (Funny how I make too much money with my monthly Social security Disability (SSDI) benefits to get some much needed aid to make end meet until I can either find a suitable job, or succeed as a content creator alongside my lovey, Lucca.).
Along with stories, I’m experimenting with trying to offer my voice talent to those looking for someone who can really sell a ‘Smooth Jazz’ radio station DJ. (I have some other voices I am working with and may see if my son, Peep, may want in on the fun, too.).
I’m also looking to try and continue Coping With Limitations Through The Arts by finding ways in which to successfully create video clips, still images, and other material from media that, like ‘My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic’, has helped in uniting people through talents and interests over being separated by toxic social norms, misconceptions of physical and/or psychological disabilities, etc.
***
Well, Papa Lucca is ready to tuck me in for the night. So, if you read the above, I thank you for your time along with any thoughts, advice, or support you may be able to offer through comments and/or private messages (PMs).
Your Pal,[
---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)
Comm. Status / Padding Up For 2023
Posted 3 years agoHamha:
Here’s what’s new in story commissions and all things dino-duckling!
----
CURRENT STORY COMMISSIONS:
1: littlebeararnold - Updating Parts 3 & 4.
2: Anonymous – Initial revision in progress.
3: -- Open –
4: -- Open –
5: -- Open --
THOUGHTS FROM THE CHANGING TABLE:
I have to wonder if being placed upon a changing table could be seen as a ‘Little’ / ‘Baby Fur’ equivalent of being in a therapist’s office, or a confessional at church?
Hmm… I may need to explore this idea further. Especially given my strong belief in helping one’s self to better help others to be both emotionally and physically well…
***
Everything, with the exception of getting a prosthetic, is doing great since the removal of my left eye. I don’t even notice it gone and, although it is only a temporary placeholder, my left eye feels as if I already have a true ‘false eye’ placed upon it.
The above said, I am working with my partner, Lucca, to make 2023 a year dedicated completely to being focused on my ‘Can Dos’ instead of those things I once, or never could, do.
***
Here’s what I am aiming to direct my attention to before and throughout 2023…
1: Work with Lucca to compile and upload relevant stories that I’ve posted on ‘Fur Affinity’ and ‘FiM Fiction’ over to ‘AO3’ to increase exposure to my written works.
2: Review, revise, and complete my non-Haposaur, original story, [i]Project: Ezil. This is a story I started in late 2004, outlined in 2005, began writing in 2006, and ceased making any progress after 2009. It is the tale of a teenage fox, Bo Foxtrot, who struggles with her visual limitations until fate guides her to see otherwise. (My inability to continue the story after losing more-and-more eyesight until I had none made this hard to get back to. I could rewrite it to focus on a character who is 100% blind, but that would ruin how, as my biggest fan of the series, Nishi, could tell you, the story has always been meant as a very loose autobiography of my actual life. The story of [i]Twinkle Morningdew, which was inspired by Meredith Simms & SFS animation, Snowdrop, does a fine job of sharing the “Born blind and misunderstood” tale of a child who only needs one person to believe in themselves to be amazing.[/i]).
3: Start to save money so that Lucca and I can make more touch-ups on this house that, unfortunately, needs a lot more love in order to truly make it a home.
4: Continue to work on the cartoon series, based upon
paddedartist and :iconpaddedmeezoo, Adventures In Sunnybrook park. (Basically a ‘Tiny Toon Adventures’ and ‘Animaniacs’ inspired series of stories that are loaded to the max with comic mischief and, of course, diapers.[/i]).
5: Develop and/or complete the two projects I have been talking out with my son, Peep, about since 2016. The first being a parody / clone of The Binding of Isaac. The second is the ‘Metroid’ fan story that I’ve promised my soon-to-be sixteen year old rooster that I’d make for him. The title of the ‘Metroid’ story-game is, Metroid: Cryos Elektra while the BoI story-game has no real working title that goes beyond a joke that was played on one of Peep’s cousins in 2016.
6: Further develop the OC that Lucca helped me to feel super-happy and extra chirpy with. This, of course, being Celeste Nuthatch. (She has cameoed in most of my commission stories, but does have a lot more depth to her beyond being a guest appearance.).
7: Continue to complete commission stories to bring in income to help offset debts brought on by too many bothersome things that I’ve had little, to no, control over.
8: FINALLY, without any long gaps of seeming like a ghost, reading and commenting on the works of friends and those to whom have inspired me that still make new stories and art to this day.
***
That’s all for now. Here’s to a happy holiday season ahead!
Your Pal,[
---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)[/i:
--- Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)[/b]
Here’s what’s new in story commissions and all things dino-duckling!
----
CURRENT STORY COMMISSIONS:
1:
littlebeararnold - Updating Parts 3 & 4.2: Anonymous – Initial revision in progress.
3: -- Open –
4: -- Open –
5: -- Open --
THOUGHTS FROM THE CHANGING TABLE:
I have to wonder if being placed upon a changing table could be seen as a ‘Little’ / ‘Baby Fur’ equivalent of being in a therapist’s office, or a confessional at church?
Hmm… I may need to explore this idea further. Especially given my strong belief in helping one’s self to better help others to be both emotionally and physically well…
***
Everything, with the exception of getting a prosthetic, is doing great since the removal of my left eye. I don’t even notice it gone and, although it is only a temporary placeholder, my left eye feels as if I already have a true ‘false eye’ placed upon it.
The above said, I am working with my partner, Lucca, to make 2023 a year dedicated completely to being focused on my ‘Can Dos’ instead of those things I once, or never could, do.
***
Here’s what I am aiming to direct my attention to before and throughout 2023…
1: Work with Lucca to compile and upload relevant stories that I’ve posted on ‘Fur Affinity’ and ‘FiM Fiction’ over to ‘AO3’ to increase exposure to my written works.
2: Review, revise, and complete my non-Haposaur, original story, [i]Project: Ezil. This is a story I started in late 2004, outlined in 2005, began writing in 2006, and ceased making any progress after 2009. It is the tale of a teenage fox, Bo Foxtrot, who struggles with her visual limitations until fate guides her to see otherwise. (My inability to continue the story after losing more-and-more eyesight until I had none made this hard to get back to. I could rewrite it to focus on a character who is 100% blind, but that would ruin how, as my biggest fan of the series, Nishi, could tell you, the story has always been meant as a very loose autobiography of my actual life. The story of [i]Twinkle Morningdew, which was inspired by Meredith Simms & SFS animation, Snowdrop, does a fine job of sharing the “Born blind and misunderstood” tale of a child who only needs one person to believe in themselves to be amazing.[/i]).
3: Start to save money so that Lucca and I can make more touch-ups on this house that, unfortunately, needs a lot more love in order to truly make it a home.
4: Continue to work on the cartoon series, based upon
paddedartist and :iconpaddedmeezoo, Adventures In Sunnybrook park. (Basically a ‘Tiny Toon Adventures’ and ‘Animaniacs’ inspired series of stories that are loaded to the max with comic mischief and, of course, diapers.[/i]).5: Develop and/or complete the two projects I have been talking out with my son, Peep, about since 2016. The first being a parody / clone of The Binding of Isaac. The second is the ‘Metroid’ fan story that I’ve promised my soon-to-be sixteen year old rooster that I’d make for him. The title of the ‘Metroid’ story-game is, Metroid: Cryos Elektra while the BoI story-game has no real working title that goes beyond a joke that was played on one of Peep’s cousins in 2016.
6: Further develop the OC that Lucca helped me to feel super-happy and extra chirpy with. This, of course, being Celeste Nuthatch. (She has cameoed in most of my commission stories, but does have a lot more depth to her beyond being a guest appearance.).
7: Continue to complete commission stories to bring in income to help offset debts brought on by too many bothersome things that I’ve had little, to no, control over.
8: FINALLY, without any long gaps of seeming like a ghost, reading and commenting on the works of friends and those to whom have inspired me that still make new stories and art to this day.
***
That’s all for now. Here’s to a happy holiday season ahead!
Your Pal,[
---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)[/i:
--- Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)[/b]
Post Final Eye Surgery Journal
Posted 3 years agoHamha:
Here’s what’s new in story commissions and all things dino-duckling!
----
CURRENT STORY COMMISSIONS:
1: littlebeararnold - Updating Parts 3 & 4.
2: Anonymous – Revising ‘First Draft’ of ‘FiM Fiction Story’.
THOUGHTS FROM THE CHANGING TABLE:
There truly is no better way to share just how ‘helpless’ and ‘exposed’ one is while laid upon their back while being prepped for a diaper change. You are held down and positioned belly-up as someone more than twice your size uses all the built-in mechanics of your clothing to, with the least amount of effort, get to the one thing that safely seals away those parts of your body that are most often covered by one, or more, layers of clothing. The fact there is little room to move and how the one changing your diaper is significantly stronger than you only adds to the extreme level of knowing you have no other choice than to trust your caretaker to do what is truly in your best interest.
The reason I go on-and-on about diaper changes, clothes with snap-crotch buttons, wearing and using diapers, etc. is to better understand why I am the way that I am. I started to explore the how, when, where, why, what, and how of this back in 2006, joined FA in 2008 to talk to others who I followed from afar, and took it into psychotherapy in 2012 while I began my journey into accepting total blindness.
Today, as I write after having my left eye removed, I have to share how my ‘[i]Little’ / ‘Adult Foal’ qualities have been one of barely a handful of self attributes that I’ve come to better appreciate, share, and be able to successfully use to improve upon my creative talents as I build strong friendships that are far more than the mistreatment I receive for any attempts I make towards meeting ‘normal’ people in the so-called ‘middle’.
***
Now that surgery is done and Lucca and I have gotten nearly everything we’ve needed in place since his move in to be my Cutie-Patootie Caretaker, I am looking forward to finishing my owed commissions, writing new stories, and finding a way to get myself hardcore motivated towards making works that are worth being published. (Making a living as a writer is the best idea I have to succeed beyond living off of my Social Security disability (SSDI) benefits. I am also way too young, in more ways than one, to cease my attempts to make the life I live with Lucca as fulfilling as I possibly can.).
***
Money is FINALLY starting to be less of a worrisome issue. It would not have ever become troublesome if it didn’t take so many repeat applications, follow-up calls, and e-mails to get the right people to go through the proper steps in the correct order to get Lucca and I set up with all we needed to forge a foundation to work from. Though what matters is we got it all to work out and are eager to start building upon our individual and shared talents to make 2023 uber awesome!
***
Despite no longer having a left eye and right eye, I really feel that I am on the right track to move past my complete loss of physical eyesight. Lucca is helping me to focus my attention on those things I can do instead of feeling all sad over what I’ll never be able to ever do again. This will allow me to spend my time, money, and energy on worthwhile things instead of the stuff that causes me to just feel down about myself. Yosh E. O’Ducky 2.0 is on the way, will be better-than-ever, and brought to you through the kindness and caring of my lovey, Lucca!
Your Pal,[
---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)
Here’s what’s new in story commissions and all things dino-duckling!
----
CURRENT STORY COMMISSIONS:
1:
littlebeararnold - Updating Parts 3 & 4.2: Anonymous – Revising ‘First Draft’ of ‘FiM Fiction Story’.
THOUGHTS FROM THE CHANGING TABLE:
There truly is no better way to share just how ‘helpless’ and ‘exposed’ one is while laid upon their back while being prepped for a diaper change. You are held down and positioned belly-up as someone more than twice your size uses all the built-in mechanics of your clothing to, with the least amount of effort, get to the one thing that safely seals away those parts of your body that are most often covered by one, or more, layers of clothing. The fact there is little room to move and how the one changing your diaper is significantly stronger than you only adds to the extreme level of knowing you have no other choice than to trust your caretaker to do what is truly in your best interest.
The reason I go on-and-on about diaper changes, clothes with snap-crotch buttons, wearing and using diapers, etc. is to better understand why I am the way that I am. I started to explore the how, when, where, why, what, and how of this back in 2006, joined FA in 2008 to talk to others who I followed from afar, and took it into psychotherapy in 2012 while I began my journey into accepting total blindness.
Today, as I write after having my left eye removed, I have to share how my ‘[i]Little’ / ‘Adult Foal’ qualities have been one of barely a handful of self attributes that I’ve come to better appreciate, share, and be able to successfully use to improve upon my creative talents as I build strong friendships that are far more than the mistreatment I receive for any attempts I make towards meeting ‘normal’ people in the so-called ‘middle’.
***
Now that surgery is done and Lucca and I have gotten nearly everything we’ve needed in place since his move in to be my Cutie-Patootie Caretaker, I am looking forward to finishing my owed commissions, writing new stories, and finding a way to get myself hardcore motivated towards making works that are worth being published. (Making a living as a writer is the best idea I have to succeed beyond living off of my Social Security disability (SSDI) benefits. I am also way too young, in more ways than one, to cease my attempts to make the life I live with Lucca as fulfilling as I possibly can.).
***
Money is FINALLY starting to be less of a worrisome issue. It would not have ever become troublesome if it didn’t take so many repeat applications, follow-up calls, and e-mails to get the right people to go through the proper steps in the correct order to get Lucca and I set up with all we needed to forge a foundation to work from. Though what matters is we got it all to work out and are eager to start building upon our individual and shared talents to make 2023 uber awesome!
***
Despite no longer having a left eye and right eye, I really feel that I am on the right track to move past my complete loss of physical eyesight. Lucca is helping me to focus my attention on those things I can do instead of feeling all sad over what I’ll never be able to ever do again. This will allow me to spend my time, money, and energy on worthwhile things instead of the stuff that causes me to just feel down about myself. Yosh E. O’Ducky 2.0 is on the way, will be better-than-ever, and brought to you through the kindness and caring of my lovey, Lucca!
Your Pal,[
---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)
The Last Eye Surgery Ever
Posted 3 years agoHamha:
Here’s what’s new in story commissions and all things dino-duckling!
----
CURRENT STORY COMMISSIONS:
1: littlebeararnold - Updating Parts 3 & 4.
2: Anonymous – Revising ‘First Draft’ of ‘FiM Fiction Story’.
GOING ON HIATUS:[/i]
Today’s surgery will have be quite unable to do much quality writing for at least a week. I had initially hoped to have had finished the stories for Arnold and ‘Sue Donym’ a lot sooner. Unfortunately a lot of real life stuff came up that, combined with my anxiety over this last-ever eye surgery, I was unable to do so. This is why I will no longer being taking any new story commissions until I’ve recovered from today’s pivotal procedure.
THOUGHTS FROM THE CHANGING TABLE:
It’s not often that I am at a loss for words. I imagine Yosh not quacking up a storm while being changed making life a lot easier for Miss Macaroni Penguin, MILF Mama Goatella, Mommy Rainfeather, and Miss Nutalie. Of course this would be so out of the ordinary for the dino-duckling that they’d make haste to the nurse’s office after getting Yosh cleaned up.
***
Since the day I entered into this world, I have been in a losing battle against Glaucoma. Glaucoma, put simply, is when the fluid in your eyes cannot properly regulate itself. This means that your eyes, which are much like water balloons, can either have too much, or too little, fluid pressure within them. An ocular pressure below 10, which is a value that various ophthalmic tools can measure, puts you at risk of your eye ‘deflating’ while causing a tremendous amount of damage to all of its inner workings.
If the pressure is above 20, the overfilled eye will start to damage the optic nerve for that eye until sight loss occurs. Should the fluid in your eye not be able to return to a safe value of between 10 and 20, you will continue to experience irreparable sight loss as additional parts of your eye, such as your cornea and retina, begin to deteriorate.
***
Glaucoma is [i]not curable. The damage done by it is also irreversible. There is hope that regeneration of the optic nerve will be possible by 2070, but regeneration and/or repair of other parts of your eye, which includes the eyeball itself, are decades beyond my allotted time on this Earthly Plane.
Some good news is that my type of Glaucoma is super-duper rare. Most people do not even show possible risks of being afflicted by Glaucoma until they are in their 60s.
Being born with Glaucoma, as Winry and I were, is a result of a genetic defect that is now being researched. Winry, Mrs. O’Ducky, and I all participated in a study that shed light on how respective genes play a part in giving birth to a child who is afflicted by Glaucoma. This research, coupled with all the good, bad, and neutral outcomes countless surgeries, procedures, and medications have been done on me will serve to further spare children not yet born to avoid having to experience what I have experienced in my42.5 years of life. (As of the writing of this journal, Winry still has ‘usable’ eyesight in her right eye. She has not had to have nearly as many surgeries, experimental medications, etc. As she is 3 years younger than I am, Winry should serve as an example of how the practice of medicine does get better-and-better through both success and failure in the treatment of diseases that, more often than not, uniquely impact each individual whose body acquires an unwanted disease, defect, disability, etc.).
***
What makes today’s surgery most notable is how it is my very last one. My right eye was removed in Spring 2019 and, before today ends, my disease-ravaged left eye will no longer be around to cause me harm.
Now that I will no longer have an eye, I will finally be able to transition into my life post eyesight. I’ve had absolutely no physical vision since December 2016, but fully accepting my life as one who will never see beyond his imagination for the rest of his life has been a psychological struggle. The reason being how I always held on to even the slightest of slight chances of, one day, having some level of vision restored to me. No longer having an eye to work with and the area the eye occupies fixed up to work with contact lens-like, prosthetic eyes will officially transition me into embracing what I can do as one without physical eyesight instead of one who is totally blind and desperately trying to hold on to those things that my situation prevents me from genuinely participating in. The mental trauma of “What if…?” will finally be gone and, most important to me, I will no longer have a hurtful habit of trying to vicariously live a life with sight through others.
***
Okay… *Takes a deep breath while stretching his body* All the best as I waddle off to the hospital for the final eye surgery I’ll ever need. May you all be well and, for me, please do what you can to make sure you take care of your eyes. I never asked for my condition and its ongoing reign of terror on my life. This said, Glaucoma is preventable and easily treated when acquired through the natural aging of your body. Do make all the efforts you can to avoid, or at least reduce, eye strain in our era of screen-based communication. Also, when possible, do try to see an eye doctor at least 1 time per year to make sure Glaucoma, or another potential, sight-stealing disease, does not get the best of you.
Your Pal,[
---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)
Here’s what’s new in story commissions and all things dino-duckling!
----
CURRENT STORY COMMISSIONS:
1:
littlebeararnold - Updating Parts 3 & 4.2: Anonymous – Revising ‘First Draft’ of ‘FiM Fiction Story’.
GOING ON HIATUS:[/i]
Today’s surgery will have be quite unable to do much quality writing for at least a week. I had initially hoped to have had finished the stories for Arnold and ‘Sue Donym’ a lot sooner. Unfortunately a lot of real life stuff came up that, combined with my anxiety over this last-ever eye surgery, I was unable to do so. This is why I will no longer being taking any new story commissions until I’ve recovered from today’s pivotal procedure.
THOUGHTS FROM THE CHANGING TABLE:
It’s not often that I am at a loss for words. I imagine Yosh not quacking up a storm while being changed making life a lot easier for Miss Macaroni Penguin, MILF Mama Goatella, Mommy Rainfeather, and Miss Nutalie. Of course this would be so out of the ordinary for the dino-duckling that they’d make haste to the nurse’s office after getting Yosh cleaned up.
***
Since the day I entered into this world, I have been in a losing battle against Glaucoma. Glaucoma, put simply, is when the fluid in your eyes cannot properly regulate itself. This means that your eyes, which are much like water balloons, can either have too much, or too little, fluid pressure within them. An ocular pressure below 10, which is a value that various ophthalmic tools can measure, puts you at risk of your eye ‘deflating’ while causing a tremendous amount of damage to all of its inner workings.
If the pressure is above 20, the overfilled eye will start to damage the optic nerve for that eye until sight loss occurs. Should the fluid in your eye not be able to return to a safe value of between 10 and 20, you will continue to experience irreparable sight loss as additional parts of your eye, such as your cornea and retina, begin to deteriorate.
***
Glaucoma is [i]not curable. The damage done by it is also irreversible. There is hope that regeneration of the optic nerve will be possible by 2070, but regeneration and/or repair of other parts of your eye, which includes the eyeball itself, are decades beyond my allotted time on this Earthly Plane.
Some good news is that my type of Glaucoma is super-duper rare. Most people do not even show possible risks of being afflicted by Glaucoma until they are in their 60s.
Being born with Glaucoma, as Winry and I were, is a result of a genetic defect that is now being researched. Winry, Mrs. O’Ducky, and I all participated in a study that shed light on how respective genes play a part in giving birth to a child who is afflicted by Glaucoma. This research, coupled with all the good, bad, and neutral outcomes countless surgeries, procedures, and medications have been done on me will serve to further spare children not yet born to avoid having to experience what I have experienced in my42.5 years of life. (As of the writing of this journal, Winry still has ‘usable’ eyesight in her right eye. She has not had to have nearly as many surgeries, experimental medications, etc. As she is 3 years younger than I am, Winry should serve as an example of how the practice of medicine does get better-and-better through both success and failure in the treatment of diseases that, more often than not, uniquely impact each individual whose body acquires an unwanted disease, defect, disability, etc.).
***
What makes today’s surgery most notable is how it is my very last one. My right eye was removed in Spring 2019 and, before today ends, my disease-ravaged left eye will no longer be around to cause me harm.
Now that I will no longer have an eye, I will finally be able to transition into my life post eyesight. I’ve had absolutely no physical vision since December 2016, but fully accepting my life as one who will never see beyond his imagination for the rest of his life has been a psychological struggle. The reason being how I always held on to even the slightest of slight chances of, one day, having some level of vision restored to me. No longer having an eye to work with and the area the eye occupies fixed up to work with contact lens-like, prosthetic eyes will officially transition me into embracing what I can do as one without physical eyesight instead of one who is totally blind and desperately trying to hold on to those things that my situation prevents me from genuinely participating in. The mental trauma of “What if…?” will finally be gone and, most important to me, I will no longer have a hurtful habit of trying to vicariously live a life with sight through others.
***
Okay… *Takes a deep breath while stretching his body* All the best as I waddle off to the hospital for the final eye surgery I’ll ever need. May you all be well and, for me, please do what you can to make sure you take care of your eyes. I never asked for my condition and its ongoing reign of terror on my life. This said, Glaucoma is preventable and easily treated when acquired through the natural aging of your body. Do make all the efforts you can to avoid, or at least reduce, eye strain in our era of screen-based communication. Also, when possible, do try to see an eye doctor at least 1 time per year to make sure Glaucoma, or another potential, sight-stealing disease, does not get the best of you.
Your Pal,[
---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)
Story Commission Status & Life Uppies!
Posted 3 years agoHamha:
Here’s what’s new in story commissions and all things dino-duckling!
----
CURRENT STORY COMMISSIONS:
1: littlebeararnold - Updating Parts 3 & 4.
2:
landonbay - Preparing to start 'Part 1'.
3: Anonymous – Revising ‘First Draft’ of ‘FiM Fiction Story’.
4:
silverkittie - Pending.
5: -- OPEN --
WANT A STORY?
Please send me a message, or leave a comment below, if you would like added to the queue, or have any questions…
1: $40 USD per story.
2: Stories have no word limits (I do try to keep all stories I write between 2,500 and 4,000 words..)
3: Stories can take between one week, to a month, to complete. (I put in an average of 6 to 10 hours into each story. This is because I work hard to capture the characters and how they would respectively react when put into a given situation, or situations.).
4: I will check in with you throughout the story writing process with drafts of the story that I’ve completed up to a certain point. Once we have made sure everything is going as you would like, I will send another message when the draft for the next part of the story is ready for your review. This process will continue until it is time to provide you with the ‘Final Draft’.
What I specialize In:
1: Slice of Life
2: Fantasy
3: Adventure
4: Science Fiction
I write safe for work (SFW) and not safe for work (NSFW).
FINISHED STORY COMMISSIONS:
Thought it was about time I provided links to all the works I’ve done for those interested in making a story with me.
All He Wanted Was A Shower:
NSFW – Nudity, Suggestive Content, Sexual Themes, Mature Comic Mischief, & Mild Babyfur Themes
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/49145164/
Takoda Streaks out:
PART 1 – SFW – High School / Teen Drama & Light Babyfur Themes: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48910260/
Part 2 – SFW – Non-Descriptive Cartoon Nudity & Light Babyfur Themes: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48921526/
Part 3 – SFW – Non-Descriptive Cartoon Nudity: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48921526/
Part 4 – SFW – Mild & Suggestive Babyfur Themes: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48922053/
Part 5 – SFW – Mild & Suggestive Babyfur Themes: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48922229/
A No Mess Success
SFW: General – Light Baby Fur / Little Themes
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48061114/
The Naked Truth
NSFW: Mature – Nudity with Adult Themes
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47956571/
A Toddler Time & Place
SFW: General – Mild Baby Fur / Little Themes
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47902918/
An Out of Berdly Adventure: Fanfiction Characters From - ‘Undertale’ / ‘Delta Rune’
NSFW: Mature – Adult Themes and Nudity
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47666775/
Like Father & Son:
Part 1 - – SFW: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48495997/
Part 2 – SFW – Mild Babyfur Themes: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48496990/
Part 3 – NSFW – Suggestive Content and Babyfur Themes: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48500038/
THOUGHTS FROM THE CHANGING TABLE:
Kazootles! It’s taken me way too long to get back to doing story commissions, replying to messages, and just being active here on FA. Most of this was touched on in my most recent journals. However the long-to-short of it is everything that had gotten in me and Papa Lucca’s way for a peaceful and prosperous life together is going away with only a few small things needing some additional attention.
***
I’d like to thank my ‘anonymous Commissioner’ and littlebeararnold for their patience. Progress has been made on their stories, but it has been slower than I had hoped it to be. ([i]I really try to do my story writing when I know I can focus all of my attention on it for thirty, or minutes, at a time. This time was scarce over the recent weeks. The resolutions to real life / offline troubles is returning this time to me. So I am going to work to finish these stories, be open for new stories, and get to writing some stories of my own, too!
***
Papa Lucca has done a really great job helping me to move on to my extremely delayed next chapter in life. It is getting easier to keep myself from dwelling on how I no longer have the physical eyesight needed to play video games, watch movies, view pictures, etc. Lucca has also shown me that it’s okay to let someone else take care of you instead of allowing yourself to feel like a burden to everyone and everything. ([i]I still feel yucky over how many things my blindness prevents me from doing that I once could do with no trouble at all.
***
I thank you all for your support over these past few months. Lucca and I look forward to continuing to create content for you all while we aim to pay everyone’s generosity forward.
[i]Your Pal,[
---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)
Here’s what’s new in story commissions and all things dino-duckling!
----
CURRENT STORY COMMISSIONS:
1:
littlebeararnold - Updating Parts 3 & 4.2:
landonbay - Preparing to start 'Part 1'.3: Anonymous – Revising ‘First Draft’ of ‘FiM Fiction Story’.
4:
silverkittie - Pending.5: -- OPEN --
WANT A STORY?
Please send me a message, or leave a comment below, if you would like added to the queue, or have any questions…
1: $40 USD per story.
2: Stories have no word limits (I do try to keep all stories I write between 2,500 and 4,000 words..)
3: Stories can take between one week, to a month, to complete. (I put in an average of 6 to 10 hours into each story. This is because I work hard to capture the characters and how they would respectively react when put into a given situation, or situations.).
4: I will check in with you throughout the story writing process with drafts of the story that I’ve completed up to a certain point. Once we have made sure everything is going as you would like, I will send another message when the draft for the next part of the story is ready for your review. This process will continue until it is time to provide you with the ‘Final Draft’.
What I specialize In:
1: Slice of Life
2: Fantasy
3: Adventure
4: Science Fiction
I write safe for work (SFW) and not safe for work (NSFW).
FINISHED STORY COMMISSIONS:
Thought it was about time I provided links to all the works I’ve done for those interested in making a story with me.
All He Wanted Was A Shower:
NSFW – Nudity, Suggestive Content, Sexual Themes, Mature Comic Mischief, & Mild Babyfur Themes
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/49145164/
Takoda Streaks out:
PART 1 – SFW – High School / Teen Drama & Light Babyfur Themes: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48910260/
Part 2 – SFW – Non-Descriptive Cartoon Nudity & Light Babyfur Themes: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48921526/
Part 3 – SFW – Non-Descriptive Cartoon Nudity: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48921526/
Part 4 – SFW – Mild & Suggestive Babyfur Themes: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48922053/
Part 5 – SFW – Mild & Suggestive Babyfur Themes: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48922229/
A No Mess Success
SFW: General – Light Baby Fur / Little Themes
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48061114/
The Naked Truth
NSFW: Mature – Nudity with Adult Themes
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47956571/
A Toddler Time & Place
SFW: General – Mild Baby Fur / Little Themes
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47902918/
An Out of Berdly Adventure: Fanfiction Characters From - ‘Undertale’ / ‘Delta Rune’
NSFW: Mature – Adult Themes and Nudity
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47666775/
Like Father & Son:
Part 1 - – SFW: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48495997/
Part 2 – SFW – Mild Babyfur Themes: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48496990/
Part 3 – NSFW – Suggestive Content and Babyfur Themes: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48500038/
THOUGHTS FROM THE CHANGING TABLE:
Kazootles! It’s taken me way too long to get back to doing story commissions, replying to messages, and just being active here on FA. Most of this was touched on in my most recent journals. However the long-to-short of it is everything that had gotten in me and Papa Lucca’s way for a peaceful and prosperous life together is going away with only a few small things needing some additional attention.
***
I’d like to thank my ‘anonymous Commissioner’ and
littlebeararnold for their patience. Progress has been made on their stories, but it has been slower than I had hoped it to be. ([i]I really try to do my story writing when I know I can focus all of my attention on it for thirty, or minutes, at a time. This time was scarce over the recent weeks. The resolutions to real life / offline troubles is returning this time to me. So I am going to work to finish these stories, be open for new stories, and get to writing some stories of my own, too! ***
Papa Lucca has done a really great job helping me to move on to my extremely delayed next chapter in life. It is getting easier to keep myself from dwelling on how I no longer have the physical eyesight needed to play video games, watch movies, view pictures, etc. Lucca has also shown me that it’s okay to let someone else take care of you instead of allowing yourself to feel like a burden to everyone and everything. ([i]I still feel yucky over how many things my blindness prevents me from doing that I once could do with no trouble at all.
***
I thank you all for your support over these past few months. Lucca and I look forward to continuing to create content for you all while we aim to pay everyone’s generosity forward.
[i]Your Pal,[
---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)
Personal Welfare Journal - Part 2 / 2
Posted 3 years agohOI!
OVERVIEW:
With the biggest and longest running issue that has made me more distant due to ongoing battles with anxiety and depression covered in the previous post, I now will set the record straight for everyone to whom has found themselves stuck within the proverbial ‘Rumor Mill’ and ‘Drama Club’ in regard to me, myself, and I.
---
SOCIALLY AWKWARD / ODD DUCK:
Anyone who knows me certainly is more than aware that I have the personality of a ‘Human Cartoon’. I also associate myself with birds, most notably ducks, for how ‘verbal’ and ‘loud’ they can be.
Ducks and cartoons mentioned, I now move on to better explain my ‘Derpy’, yet determined, personality. The purpose here is to share that I am fully aware that I come off as a #1 Hyperactive Knuckleheaded Ninja. Anyone who may get this ‘Naruto’ reference should also know just how the protagonist of this long-running Anime has an approach for life that comes off very aloof, but he is always true to himself and what he believes in…
…I cannot say the same for myself for a large portion of my life. I seldom felt confident in the real me and did all I could to adapt myself in order to fit in. I did not choose to be born with a degenerative eye disorder, I did not choose to grow up in a backwater town that felt I belonged in Special Ed without even giving me a chance to fit in with my peers, and I did not choose to lack the ability to do what was expected of a male living in a very conservative / status quo community.
What really did not help is how I had managed to acquire a liking to cartoon animals who wear diapers. Through discussions with my therapists over the past eleven years, I have been able to track my socially-unacceptable interest to as far back to when I was four years old. I also used online resources, once I found them upon their availability, to learn how there are thousands of people all over the world who find wearing diapers along with drawing and writing about diapered cartoon animals therapeutic towards maintaining their mental health…
…However, a conservative town that had little interest in enabling a visually-impaired kid that never could, or was allowed to, be “One of the boys!”, like me, had no idea of how to understand how and why I came to find diapers cathartic. This lead to the same issue many others, who identify as ‘Littles’, ‘Babyfurs’, etc., to develop a fetish for diapers and diaper wearing.
By the time I started college, I had become extremely aware of how I would never be accepted as “One of the boys!”. I had good friends who were the best pals a cartoon-loving, card-flopping, video game playing dude could ever ask for, but the ability to succeed beyond being an ‘S Class Dork’ evaded me since I had come to believe my lack of masculine qualities, coupled with my low vision, would eternally prevent me from being more than a dweeb with a dream.
Another important thing that happened when I started college is that I, for the first time, tried to purge myself of my interest in diapers, diapered cartoon animals, and having a fetish for being back in diapers.
No matter how hard I tried, I could never get rid of the part of me that enjoyed cute, diapered animals. It wasn’t until I talked with my therapists that I came to learn about the concept of ‘Replacement Therapy’ and how it is only truly possible to let go of an unwanted part of yourself if there is something you can, well, replace it with. This aspect would prove to be my proverbial Akili’s Heel as I spent my twenties and a majority of my thirties consumed with shame and self-loathing for being socially-unacceptable, afraid that someone would do something terrible to me with the misbelief that I was a pedophile, and getting myself deeper-and-deeper into the world of diapered ducks and birds as I lost even more of what made me who I could reasonably live with.
Starting in November of 2006, my ability to read a physical book, magazine, etc. was lost from having to have a cataract removed. Reading was one of my favorite things to do for as long as I can even remember. Not being able to comfortably read, look at pictures, and play text-based games was just awful. However, this was only the tip of the proverbial iceberg as the cataract surgery did not heal properly. This created a corneal ulcer that, sparing gruesome details, left me with foggy eyesight that further obscured what I could process through my eye. (I mention ‘eye’ in singular form as my left eye stopped working when I was five years old.).
In 2008, I was exposed to my first dose of bullying in the workplace / toxic working environment. There is nothing that compares to having to apologize to your colleagues for how your disability inconvenienced them while learning how long they have held negative feelings towards me. Toss in getting told that you just bring people down, are always sad, and never show reciprocity and you have a big win for low self-esteem.
Needless to say, I kept losing eyesight, needing surgeries, and being treated like I had no positive impact in those places I could find work. When the stress would get too high, I’d find my desire to read, see, think, and be a part of the ‘Furry Community’ getting greater-and-greater. This was because, upon joining ‘Fur Affinity’ in September of 2008, I found people who actually helped me to start on the path of building self-esteem, self-acceptance, and finding value in more than what growing up in backwater Pennsylvania had lead me to believe…
…Unfortunately, this part of me was not anything I could share with anyone close to me in real life. This made things difficult for how I was being psychologically assaulted at work, losing more-and-more eyesight, having surgeries that temporarily blinded me in both 2011 and 2012, struggling to adapt to the ongoing loss of vision, and being reduced to useless as an employee as a result of the hardware and software I relied on to work in tandem with my colleagues not being supported by newer releases of software made by Microsoft and third party entities.
By the time my marriage came to an end in 2018, I really did not know what to do to remain relevant in this world. The rest of my eyesight was lost at the end of 2016 and efforts to become an author never went beyond the handful of furry friends I had helping me to remain determined while aiding in publishing my original works. I had also lost my best coping mechanism for stress and anxiety, video games, with absolutely nothing to fill in yet another part of what made me who I was.
It hasn’t been until this year that I have made any real progress in being happy with myself. This is because, after a number of stressful events that went with the purchase of the house, I took it upon myself to invite a good friend of mine, Lucca, to live with me. Lucca and I are kindred spirits in how we have both endured a lot of trauma that put us in very unpleasant headspaces. It wasn’t until we talked over the phone for hours each night leading to her arrival from Washington State to Pennsylvania that we knew we were meant to be in a relationship.
Lucca and I both have disabilities. This does not negatively impact us as we continue to find ways to grow and learn from each other. Most notably is how, after months of effort and years of self-denial, I managed to work with the county to get Lucca paid for helping me with those things that I struggle to do, take a long time to do, was unsure of how well I did, etc. This was not easy as, for as long as I have lived, I had been programmed to not seek such help for it diminished who I was as a blind person within the overall blind community. This was ‘Gas Lighting’ at its best as, after nearly another massive panic attack in August, Lucca helped me to see how much of my internal suffering was brought on by my deep-seated beliefs that I cannot realistically do to the level needed to not be in a state of unending psychological pain.
Those who know Lucca also know she is a part of the Furry Community within the niche of Babyfur. So, to answer those pesky questions, I do wear diapers when I am alone with Lucca. They provide me something that I can ‘feel’, ‘hear’, and appreciate without having to have a “Sighted Friend”. By no longer feeling ashamed of a part of myself that I can still do despite all the losses in my life, I have really felt my self-esteem returning along with my confidence. I also, through Lucca, am FINALLY getting to mourn the loss of my life of sight to transition into making a new one filled with positivity that is not reliant on any of those things I could never get back from having gone 100% blind.
In summary, I am certainly one odd duck who does and enjoys very atypical things, but they make me happy without feeling so left out of life from losing my eyesight. Do I need outside approval? No! Do I worry about what sharing this will do? No! I only hope that you all realize that, if put in a similar situation yourselves, you would come to understand that any route that does not cause harm to yourself and/or others in which provides for good mental health is better than hoping you can hold yourself together enough to not want to commit the unthinkable.
If any of what I shared disagrees with you, I am okay with it. You may even choose to no longer engage in conversations with me, disown me, or whatever you wish. No action will change how, after over 42 years, I finally feel I can stop being trapped in the past, worried about things that are far beyond my control, and know that it is okay to be Lucca’s exclusive, flappy-happy, ever-chirping, ducky dork.
Your Pal,
---Yosh E. O'ducky ;)
OVERVIEW:
With the biggest and longest running issue that has made me more distant due to ongoing battles with anxiety and depression covered in the previous post, I now will set the record straight for everyone to whom has found themselves stuck within the proverbial ‘Rumor Mill’ and ‘Drama Club’ in regard to me, myself, and I.
---
SOCIALLY AWKWARD / ODD DUCK:
Anyone who knows me certainly is more than aware that I have the personality of a ‘Human Cartoon’. I also associate myself with birds, most notably ducks, for how ‘verbal’ and ‘loud’ they can be.
Ducks and cartoons mentioned, I now move on to better explain my ‘Derpy’, yet determined, personality. The purpose here is to share that I am fully aware that I come off as a #1 Hyperactive Knuckleheaded Ninja. Anyone who may get this ‘Naruto’ reference should also know just how the protagonist of this long-running Anime has an approach for life that comes off very aloof, but he is always true to himself and what he believes in…
…I cannot say the same for myself for a large portion of my life. I seldom felt confident in the real me and did all I could to adapt myself in order to fit in. I did not choose to be born with a degenerative eye disorder, I did not choose to grow up in a backwater town that felt I belonged in Special Ed without even giving me a chance to fit in with my peers, and I did not choose to lack the ability to do what was expected of a male living in a very conservative / status quo community.
What really did not help is how I had managed to acquire a liking to cartoon animals who wear diapers. Through discussions with my therapists over the past eleven years, I have been able to track my socially-unacceptable interest to as far back to when I was four years old. I also used online resources, once I found them upon their availability, to learn how there are thousands of people all over the world who find wearing diapers along with drawing and writing about diapered cartoon animals therapeutic towards maintaining their mental health…
…However, a conservative town that had little interest in enabling a visually-impaired kid that never could, or was allowed to, be “One of the boys!”, like me, had no idea of how to understand how and why I came to find diapers cathartic. This lead to the same issue many others, who identify as ‘Littles’, ‘Babyfurs’, etc., to develop a fetish for diapers and diaper wearing.
By the time I started college, I had become extremely aware of how I would never be accepted as “One of the boys!”. I had good friends who were the best pals a cartoon-loving, card-flopping, video game playing dude could ever ask for, but the ability to succeed beyond being an ‘S Class Dork’ evaded me since I had come to believe my lack of masculine qualities, coupled with my low vision, would eternally prevent me from being more than a dweeb with a dream.
Another important thing that happened when I started college is that I, for the first time, tried to purge myself of my interest in diapers, diapered cartoon animals, and having a fetish for being back in diapers.
No matter how hard I tried, I could never get rid of the part of me that enjoyed cute, diapered animals. It wasn’t until I talked with my therapists that I came to learn about the concept of ‘Replacement Therapy’ and how it is only truly possible to let go of an unwanted part of yourself if there is something you can, well, replace it with. This aspect would prove to be my proverbial Akili’s Heel as I spent my twenties and a majority of my thirties consumed with shame and self-loathing for being socially-unacceptable, afraid that someone would do something terrible to me with the misbelief that I was a pedophile, and getting myself deeper-and-deeper into the world of diapered ducks and birds as I lost even more of what made me who I could reasonably live with.
Starting in November of 2006, my ability to read a physical book, magazine, etc. was lost from having to have a cataract removed. Reading was one of my favorite things to do for as long as I can even remember. Not being able to comfortably read, look at pictures, and play text-based games was just awful. However, this was only the tip of the proverbial iceberg as the cataract surgery did not heal properly. This created a corneal ulcer that, sparing gruesome details, left me with foggy eyesight that further obscured what I could process through my eye. (I mention ‘eye’ in singular form as my left eye stopped working when I was five years old.).
In 2008, I was exposed to my first dose of bullying in the workplace / toxic working environment. There is nothing that compares to having to apologize to your colleagues for how your disability inconvenienced them while learning how long they have held negative feelings towards me. Toss in getting told that you just bring people down, are always sad, and never show reciprocity and you have a big win for low self-esteem.
Needless to say, I kept losing eyesight, needing surgeries, and being treated like I had no positive impact in those places I could find work. When the stress would get too high, I’d find my desire to read, see, think, and be a part of the ‘Furry Community’ getting greater-and-greater. This was because, upon joining ‘Fur Affinity’ in September of 2008, I found people who actually helped me to start on the path of building self-esteem, self-acceptance, and finding value in more than what growing up in backwater Pennsylvania had lead me to believe…
…Unfortunately, this part of me was not anything I could share with anyone close to me in real life. This made things difficult for how I was being psychologically assaulted at work, losing more-and-more eyesight, having surgeries that temporarily blinded me in both 2011 and 2012, struggling to adapt to the ongoing loss of vision, and being reduced to useless as an employee as a result of the hardware and software I relied on to work in tandem with my colleagues not being supported by newer releases of software made by Microsoft and third party entities.
By the time my marriage came to an end in 2018, I really did not know what to do to remain relevant in this world. The rest of my eyesight was lost at the end of 2016 and efforts to become an author never went beyond the handful of furry friends I had helping me to remain determined while aiding in publishing my original works. I had also lost my best coping mechanism for stress and anxiety, video games, with absolutely nothing to fill in yet another part of what made me who I was.
It hasn’t been until this year that I have made any real progress in being happy with myself. This is because, after a number of stressful events that went with the purchase of the house, I took it upon myself to invite a good friend of mine, Lucca, to live with me. Lucca and I are kindred spirits in how we have both endured a lot of trauma that put us in very unpleasant headspaces. It wasn’t until we talked over the phone for hours each night leading to her arrival from Washington State to Pennsylvania that we knew we were meant to be in a relationship.
Lucca and I both have disabilities. This does not negatively impact us as we continue to find ways to grow and learn from each other. Most notably is how, after months of effort and years of self-denial, I managed to work with the county to get Lucca paid for helping me with those things that I struggle to do, take a long time to do, was unsure of how well I did, etc. This was not easy as, for as long as I have lived, I had been programmed to not seek such help for it diminished who I was as a blind person within the overall blind community. This was ‘Gas Lighting’ at its best as, after nearly another massive panic attack in August, Lucca helped me to see how much of my internal suffering was brought on by my deep-seated beliefs that I cannot realistically do to the level needed to not be in a state of unending psychological pain.
Those who know Lucca also know she is a part of the Furry Community within the niche of Babyfur. So, to answer those pesky questions, I do wear diapers when I am alone with Lucca. They provide me something that I can ‘feel’, ‘hear’, and appreciate without having to have a “Sighted Friend”. By no longer feeling ashamed of a part of myself that I can still do despite all the losses in my life, I have really felt my self-esteem returning along with my confidence. I also, through Lucca, am FINALLY getting to mourn the loss of my life of sight to transition into making a new one filled with positivity that is not reliant on any of those things I could never get back from having gone 100% blind.
In summary, I am certainly one odd duck who does and enjoys very atypical things, but they make me happy without feeling so left out of life from losing my eyesight. Do I need outside approval? No! Do I worry about what sharing this will do? No! I only hope that you all realize that, if put in a similar situation yourselves, you would come to understand that any route that does not cause harm to yourself and/or others in which provides for good mental health is better than hoping you can hold yourself together enough to not want to commit the unthinkable.
If any of what I shared disagrees with you, I am okay with it. You may even choose to no longer engage in conversations with me, disown me, or whatever you wish. No action will change how, after over 42 years, I finally feel I can stop being trapped in the past, worried about things that are far beyond my control, and know that it is okay to be Lucca’s exclusive, flappy-happy, ever-chirping, ducky dork.
Your Pal,
---Yosh E. O'ducky ;)
Personal Welfare Journal - Part 1 of 2
Posted 3 years agohOI!!!!!
OVERVIEW:
This series of ‘picture journals’ is intended to help make up for how I’ve been absent on Facebook, along with social media in general, while serving as an apology to those who I’ve been unable to keep in regular contact with.
IMPORTANT:
It has come to my attention that people have become worried for my well-being. This is a result of how my respective efforts to succeed since losing my job at Giant in June of 2020 has made me go in-and-out of depression. This depression has primarily been from the growing knowledge of how it is extremely unlikely that I will ever acquire gainful employment. It also stems from feeling unappreciated for my efforts to find happiness in a world where approximately 80% of how we interact as a society requires physical eyesight.
The above said, along with knowing people have called ‘Protective Services’ on me three times over the past year, I will spend the remainder of these posts to assure everyone that I am doing the best that someone in my particular situation can possibly do with those resources available to me.
NO JOBS FOR EXPERIENCED & EDUCATED BLIND PEOPLE:
Anyone who feels that I am being overdramatic, cynical, pessimistic, etc. may feel free to stop reading now. I am extremely frustrated with being told “All you need to do is (Insert bogus presumptions of Government Services, The Americans with Disability Act (ADA), and blind-centric organizations.”” along with “There are many successful blind people out there!”. It is also hurtful and insulting to be told, “You got to keep trying.”, “There’s got to be something out there.”, and anything that relates with “Why can’t you should start your own business / find out how to become a motivational speaker.”. I’ve been there, done all that, and have only had my hopes and self-esteem quashed more-and- more with each failure in attempting to be successful in an ableist society. There ‘are’ success stories for the blind and visually-impaired, like my sister, but she is an exception to a rule where we are told the disabled are respected by public and private entities. There is lots of talk, public relations (PR), and corporate policies written to appease the masses, but it is all for show with little, to no, actual intent to practice what they preach.
I prefer to not relive all the two-faced coworkers, bigoted leadership, and backstabbing human resources (HR) experiences I’ve gone through over the past sixteen years. I also desire to not retell all the false offers to help me find work, the countless places I’ve reached out to and found out all that could be done is for me to call someone else who tells me to contact someone else, being informed that a “Reasonable Accommodation” is taking away job responsibilities until you are little more than a sack of meat in a chair and/or having some asshole manager state what they believe I can and cannot do with what is provided to me.
Of all the above, the absolute worst things I loathe to recall are how my disability is weaponized against me to prevent any job I could get into a career, the ‘Blind Tax / Blinkenomics’ involved in just getting to-and-from work, being indebted to able-bodied people as a result of technology becoming increasingly incompatible with software and hardware meant to enable the blind and visually-impaired, and the passive / accepting way people in management positions say, “We no longer live in a time where software can be tested for user friendliness beyond what is bare minimum for those end users who are not afflicted by any physical and/or psychological disabilities.”
Lastly, for this portion of the update journal, I am beyond angry over how I can be silently denied a job I was offered just because the one offering me the job felt it not necessary to get back to me in regard to if the presence of my Seeing Eye Dog, Uri / Buddy, may have been too much of a health risk to their assisted living / retirement community, *I applied, interviewed, and was called to be given the job back in early February of this year. I asked, just in case, if all was still okay for me to perform my duties as a part-time receptionist while having my Seeing Eye Dog under the desk. The lady said she would need to look up the health and safety guidelines before getting back to me later in the day. She never got back to me and my efforts to make contact over the next three weeks ended with no response and no job.)
If this silent rejection was not enough, I was also hired to work for the very city I live in. I made it through two interviews and a background check before coming in to start work at the end of February of this year. It was only at this time I had access to the proprietary software used in doing the job that, surprise, had zero compatibility with my screen reading software. We tried again in April with a potential update to the third-party software with little success. I then worked with Blindness & Visual Services (BBVS) to bring in an Accessibility Technology Specialist (AT) to analyze all aspects of the job in May. The AT found more than just the third-party software system was not compatible with me and the tools currently available to assist the blind and visually-impaired. There was ‘talk’ about being brought in to serve as a Part Time HR Assistant, but it fell through with no more opportunity to work for the city beyond being told I had to find another open position and start the entire process all over again.
Oh, one more thing, is I did work for two days shy of six months for Pennsylvania’s Pandemic Unemployment Assistance program . , I had high hopes that me and the rest of the blind and visually-impaired team would be brought on to take on future projects that the disability-driven employer may get. Instead of just being laid off until a new opportunity became available, we were told that all open jobs had software that was not compatible with our screen reading software and we would have to completely start from the beginning of the hiring process if we wanted to continue working for the company at any capacity. (Most places you get laid off from tend to call you back when a position becomes available. Having to be treated like we were all ‘fired’ was downright awful.).
CONTINUED IN NEXT POSt…
OVERVIEW:
This series of ‘picture journals’ is intended to help make up for how I’ve been absent on Facebook, along with social media in general, while serving as an apology to those who I’ve been unable to keep in regular contact with.
IMPORTANT:
It has come to my attention that people have become worried for my well-being. This is a result of how my respective efforts to succeed since losing my job at Giant in June of 2020 has made me go in-and-out of depression. This depression has primarily been from the growing knowledge of how it is extremely unlikely that I will ever acquire gainful employment. It also stems from feeling unappreciated for my efforts to find happiness in a world where approximately 80% of how we interact as a society requires physical eyesight.
The above said, along with knowing people have called ‘Protective Services’ on me three times over the past year, I will spend the remainder of these posts to assure everyone that I am doing the best that someone in my particular situation can possibly do with those resources available to me.
NO JOBS FOR EXPERIENCED & EDUCATED BLIND PEOPLE:
Anyone who feels that I am being overdramatic, cynical, pessimistic, etc. may feel free to stop reading now. I am extremely frustrated with being told “All you need to do is (Insert bogus presumptions of Government Services, The Americans with Disability Act (ADA), and blind-centric organizations.”” along with “There are many successful blind people out there!”. It is also hurtful and insulting to be told, “You got to keep trying.”, “There’s got to be something out there.”, and anything that relates with “Why can’t you should start your own business / find out how to become a motivational speaker.”. I’ve been there, done all that, and have only had my hopes and self-esteem quashed more-and- more with each failure in attempting to be successful in an ableist society. There ‘are’ success stories for the blind and visually-impaired, like my sister, but she is an exception to a rule where we are told the disabled are respected by public and private entities. There is lots of talk, public relations (PR), and corporate policies written to appease the masses, but it is all for show with little, to no, actual intent to practice what they preach.
I prefer to not relive all the two-faced coworkers, bigoted leadership, and backstabbing human resources (HR) experiences I’ve gone through over the past sixteen years. I also desire to not retell all the false offers to help me find work, the countless places I’ve reached out to and found out all that could be done is for me to call someone else who tells me to contact someone else, being informed that a “Reasonable Accommodation” is taking away job responsibilities until you are little more than a sack of meat in a chair and/or having some asshole manager state what they believe I can and cannot do with what is provided to me.
Of all the above, the absolute worst things I loathe to recall are how my disability is weaponized against me to prevent any job I could get into a career, the ‘Blind Tax / Blinkenomics’ involved in just getting to-and-from work, being indebted to able-bodied people as a result of technology becoming increasingly incompatible with software and hardware meant to enable the blind and visually-impaired, and the passive / accepting way people in management positions say, “We no longer live in a time where software can be tested for user friendliness beyond what is bare minimum for those end users who are not afflicted by any physical and/or psychological disabilities.”
Lastly, for this portion of the update journal, I am beyond angry over how I can be silently denied a job I was offered just because the one offering me the job felt it not necessary to get back to me in regard to if the presence of my Seeing Eye Dog, Uri / Buddy, may have been too much of a health risk to their assisted living / retirement community, *I applied, interviewed, and was called to be given the job back in early February of this year. I asked, just in case, if all was still okay for me to perform my duties as a part-time receptionist while having my Seeing Eye Dog under the desk. The lady said she would need to look up the health and safety guidelines before getting back to me later in the day. She never got back to me and my efforts to make contact over the next three weeks ended with no response and no job.)
If this silent rejection was not enough, I was also hired to work for the very city I live in. I made it through two interviews and a background check before coming in to start work at the end of February of this year. It was only at this time I had access to the proprietary software used in doing the job that, surprise, had zero compatibility with my screen reading software. We tried again in April with a potential update to the third-party software with little success. I then worked with Blindness & Visual Services (BBVS) to bring in an Accessibility Technology Specialist (AT) to analyze all aspects of the job in May. The AT found more than just the third-party software system was not compatible with me and the tools currently available to assist the blind and visually-impaired. There was ‘talk’ about being brought in to serve as a Part Time HR Assistant, but it fell through with no more opportunity to work for the city beyond being told I had to find another open position and start the entire process all over again.
Oh, one more thing, is I did work for two days shy of six months for Pennsylvania’s Pandemic Unemployment Assistance program . , I had high hopes that me and the rest of the blind and visually-impaired team would be brought on to take on future projects that the disability-driven employer may get. Instead of just being laid off until a new opportunity became available, we were told that all open jobs had software that was not compatible with our screen reading software and we would have to completely start from the beginning of the hiring process if we wanted to continue working for the company at any capacity. (Most places you get laid off from tend to call you back when a position becomes available. Having to be treated like we were all ‘fired’ was downright awful.).
CONTINUED IN NEXT POSt…
Story Commissions & Positive Life Updates - Hurray!
Posted 3 years agoHamha:
Here’s what’s new in story commissions and all things dino-duckling!
----
CURRENT STORY COMMISSIONS:
1: littlebeararnold - Revising ‘Part 2’ & ‘Part 3’& starting ‘Part 3’.
2: landonbay - Preparing to start 'Part 1'.
3: Anonymous - Building template for MLP: FiM fan story.
4: silverkittie - Pending.
5: -- OPEN --
WANT A STORY?
Please send me a message, or leave a comment below, if you would like added to the queue, or have any questions…
1: $40 USD per story.
2: Stories have no word limits (I do try to keep all stories I write between 2,500 and 4,000 words..)
3: Stories can take between one week, to a month, to complete. (I put in an average of 6 to 10 hours into each story. This is because I work hard to capture the characters and how they would respectively react when put into a given situation, or situations.).
4: I will check in with you throughout the story writing process with drafts of the story that I’ve completed up to a certain point. Once we have made sure everything is going as you would like, I will send another message when the draft for the next part of the story is ready for your review. This process will continue until it is time to provide you with the ‘Final Draft’.
What I specialize In:
1: Slice of Life
2: Fantasy
3: Adventure
4: Science Fiction
I write safe for work (SFW) and not safe for work (NSFW).
FINISHED STORY COMMISSIONS:
Thought it was about time I provided links to all the works I’ve done for those interested in making a story with me.
All He Wanted Was A Shower:
NSFW – Nudity, Suggestive Content, Sexual Themes, Mature Comic Mischief, & Mild Babyfur Themes
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/49145164/
Takoda Streaks out:
PART 1 – SFW – High School / Teen Drama & Light Babyfur Themes: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48910260/
Part 2 – SFW – Non-Descriptive Cartoon Nudity & Light Babyfur Themes: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48921526/
Part 3 – SFW – Non-Descriptive Cartoon Nudity: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48921526/
Part 4 – SFW – Mild & Suggestive Babyfur Themes: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48922053/
Part 5 – SFW – Mild & Suggestive Babyfur Themes: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48922229/
A No Mess Success
SFW: General – Light Baby Fur / Little Themes
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48061114/
The Naked Truth
NSFW: Mature – Nudity with Adult Themes
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47956571/
A Toddler Time & Place
SFW: General – Mild Baby Fur / Little Themes
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47902918/
An Out of Berdly Adventure: Fanfiction Characters From - ‘Undertale’ / ‘Delta Rune’
NSFW: Mature – Adult Themes and Nudity
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47666775/
Like Father & Son:
Part 1 - – SFW: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48495997/
Part 2 – SFW – Mild Babyfur Themes: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48496990/
Part 3 – NSFW – Suggestive Content and Babyfur Themes: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48500038/
THOUGHTS FROM THE CHANGING TABLE:
Papa Lucca and I are so-so thankful for all of your help as we did all we could possibly do to pay our monthly mortgage! As of the writing of this journal, I can happily quack to all that we’ve done it! *[i]Kicks his feet playfully while chirping out gleeful giggles before Miss Macaroni takes hold of his legs to prepare to get down to business*
The situation with my sister has become neither good, or bad. We have simply agreed to disagree on what happened on the day she lashed out in quite an unfriendly way to Papa Lucca. Winry is upset about being called a name by Lucca and how I did not take action against him for having done so. However, given Winry lashed out first and the severity of the name Papa Lucca referred to Winry as, I don’t feel he is in the wrong. Sadly, Winry is very stubborn and extra-ultra serious about pretty much anything and everything. **Sighs and plays with his fingers as Miss Macaroni finishes making things ‘fresh’*
Winry wasn’t always so hardcore serious. She and her husband, Flynn, used to do all sorts of fun things with me and our other friends from childhood. However, after graduating from college and finding extremely stable and gainful work, Flynn & Winry started to lose interest in those things we all did that were fun. I’m hopeful they will both start seeing that not only can you make time for movies, shows, video games, outdoor activities, etc., but also use such recreational activities to relax from being in a constant state of ‘adulting’.
*The elderly, yellow penguin prepares to slide the new diaper into place* I got a call today from the hospital to tell me how my eye surgery to remove my left eye had to be moved from October 19th to November 9th. This is fine, but I had really wanted to get this over with. The plus side is it gives Papa Lucca more time away from my family. (Why they give such grief to me for having Lucca as my partner is beyond me. He makes me happy while making sure I am safe, eat healthy, and not alone to be tormented by my not-so-happy thoughts. Isn’t the point of having a partner to feel your life being all the more worthwhile to live?).
*Eyes droop as the baby powder scent is picked up in his nose while his ears hear the soft, crinkling sounds of the new diaper gently being positioned over his personal space*
October is a month where I will further work to better the budget in which Papa Lucca and I have to work with. We should be in better shape more towards the middle of the month thanks to the new services we have ourselves signed up for. However, until then, I am going to try extra hard to not have any accidents that leave Papa Lucca and I leaking out more than what my padding can handle. (Easier to talk about money when you use silly, cutesy terms.).
*Is taken over to take his afternoon nap in just his new diaper, socks, and oversized t-shirt* I’m looking forward to coming out of this month better than ever, seeing Papa Lucca more confident in himself and our shared future, and giving back in all the ways I can for all of your support and generosity.
Your Pal,[
---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)
Here’s what’s new in story commissions and all things dino-duckling!
----
CURRENT STORY COMMISSIONS:
1:
littlebeararnold - Revising ‘Part 2’ & ‘Part 3’& starting ‘Part 3’.2:
landonbay - Preparing to start 'Part 1'.3: Anonymous - Building template for MLP: FiM fan story.
4:
silverkittie - Pending.5: -- OPEN --
WANT A STORY?
Please send me a message, or leave a comment below, if you would like added to the queue, or have any questions…
1: $40 USD per story.
2: Stories have no word limits (I do try to keep all stories I write between 2,500 and 4,000 words..)
3: Stories can take between one week, to a month, to complete. (I put in an average of 6 to 10 hours into each story. This is because I work hard to capture the characters and how they would respectively react when put into a given situation, or situations.).
4: I will check in with you throughout the story writing process with drafts of the story that I’ve completed up to a certain point. Once we have made sure everything is going as you would like, I will send another message when the draft for the next part of the story is ready for your review. This process will continue until it is time to provide you with the ‘Final Draft’.
What I specialize In:
1: Slice of Life
2: Fantasy
3: Adventure
4: Science Fiction
I write safe for work (SFW) and not safe for work (NSFW).
FINISHED STORY COMMISSIONS:
Thought it was about time I provided links to all the works I’ve done for those interested in making a story with me.
All He Wanted Was A Shower:
NSFW – Nudity, Suggestive Content, Sexual Themes, Mature Comic Mischief, & Mild Babyfur Themes
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/49145164/
Takoda Streaks out:
PART 1 – SFW – High School / Teen Drama & Light Babyfur Themes: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48910260/
Part 2 – SFW – Non-Descriptive Cartoon Nudity & Light Babyfur Themes: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48921526/
Part 3 – SFW – Non-Descriptive Cartoon Nudity: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48921526/
Part 4 – SFW – Mild & Suggestive Babyfur Themes: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48922053/
Part 5 – SFW – Mild & Suggestive Babyfur Themes: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48922229/
A No Mess Success
SFW: General – Light Baby Fur / Little Themes
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48061114/
The Naked Truth
NSFW: Mature – Nudity with Adult Themes
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47956571/
A Toddler Time & Place
SFW: General – Mild Baby Fur / Little Themes
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47902918/
An Out of Berdly Adventure: Fanfiction Characters From - ‘Undertale’ / ‘Delta Rune’
NSFW: Mature – Adult Themes and Nudity
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47666775/
Like Father & Son:
Part 1 - – SFW: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48495997/
Part 2 – SFW – Mild Babyfur Themes: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48496990/
Part 3 – NSFW – Suggestive Content and Babyfur Themes: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48500038/
THOUGHTS FROM THE CHANGING TABLE:
Papa Lucca and I are so-so thankful for all of your help as we did all we could possibly do to pay our monthly mortgage! As of the writing of this journal, I can happily quack to all that we’ve done it! *[i]Kicks his feet playfully while chirping out gleeful giggles before Miss Macaroni takes hold of his legs to prepare to get down to business*
The situation with my sister has become neither good, or bad. We have simply agreed to disagree on what happened on the day she lashed out in quite an unfriendly way to Papa Lucca. Winry is upset about being called a name by Lucca and how I did not take action against him for having done so. However, given Winry lashed out first and the severity of the name Papa Lucca referred to Winry as, I don’t feel he is in the wrong. Sadly, Winry is very stubborn and extra-ultra serious about pretty much anything and everything. **Sighs and plays with his fingers as Miss Macaroni finishes making things ‘fresh’*
Winry wasn’t always so hardcore serious. She and her husband, Flynn, used to do all sorts of fun things with me and our other friends from childhood. However, after graduating from college and finding extremely stable and gainful work, Flynn & Winry started to lose interest in those things we all did that were fun. I’m hopeful they will both start seeing that not only can you make time for movies, shows, video games, outdoor activities, etc., but also use such recreational activities to relax from being in a constant state of ‘adulting’.
*The elderly, yellow penguin prepares to slide the new diaper into place* I got a call today from the hospital to tell me how my eye surgery to remove my left eye had to be moved from October 19th to November 9th. This is fine, but I had really wanted to get this over with. The plus side is it gives Papa Lucca more time away from my family. (Why they give such grief to me for having Lucca as my partner is beyond me. He makes me happy while making sure I am safe, eat healthy, and not alone to be tormented by my not-so-happy thoughts. Isn’t the point of having a partner to feel your life being all the more worthwhile to live?).
*Eyes droop as the baby powder scent is picked up in his nose while his ears hear the soft, crinkling sounds of the new diaper gently being positioned over his personal space*
October is a month where I will further work to better the budget in which Papa Lucca and I have to work with. We should be in better shape more towards the middle of the month thanks to the new services we have ourselves signed up for. However, until then, I am going to try extra hard to not have any accidents that leave Papa Lucca and I leaking out more than what my padding can handle. (Easier to talk about money when you use silly, cutesy terms.).
*Is taken over to take his afternoon nap in just his new diaper, socks, and oversized t-shirt* I’m looking forward to coming out of this month better than ever, seeing Papa Lucca more confident in himself and our shared future, and giving back in all the ways I can for all of your support and generosity.
Your Pal,[
---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)
Accountability Journal / Need $100 Before Friday
Posted 3 years agohOI!!!!!
Spring 2024 will be a good time for me. Not only is Spring my favorite season, for many reasons I’m sure you all know, but it is also when I no longer have to pay for my past.
What has caused me financial instability is, first of all, being unable to find a job. There are lots-and-lots of opportunities for people to work in America, but these opportunities drop to almost nothing when you have a disability. In my case, being totally blind.
Despite needing quarterly visits to Glaucoma, Cornea, and Retina doctors who specialize in profound cases of ocular degeneration, I did manage to hold a handful of jobs. These were all lost as a result of the employers growing tired of my disability, or business software ‘updating’ to where my adaptive tools became incompatible towards meeting my job responsibilities. I was ‘forced’ out of all these jobs with the exception of one. The kindness of being ‘laid off’ allowed me to collect unemployment compensation (UC). The downside is there was no intention of bringing me, or my visually-impaired colleagues, back when government software became compatible with active city, state, or federal initiatives.
There was a time I was without debt. It was at the start of 2016. The start of 2016 was also when I started on the final series of surgeries, appointments, and medications to save what eyesight I had left while preventing my dying eye from becoming toxic.
The efforts to save my eyesight ended on December 15th, 2016. More than $10,000 in debt had been accrued on my credit card with additional debt piling up to keep my family afloat.
The final nail in the proverbial coffin came when my wife left me in June 2018. We were not able to make much more than minimal payments on our credit card debt and subsequent loan. This resulted in a total debt of over $60,000!
The divorce was finalized in 2019, but I still had to ‘share the burden’ of $35,000 of the family debt. Thankfully, I found an agency to work with me to negotiate the debt without interest. The only thing I needed to do was pay $660 per month until Spring 2024 and, just like that, I’d be debt free!
$660 was great to get away from an unending, crippling debt. However, the Social Security Administration (SSA) made a mistake by paying me monetary benefits that I was not entitled to. There is really no arguing with the SSA, due to how they keep losing submitted and resubmitted paperwork, and I soon found $265 per month taken out from my monthly monetary benefits. This, coupled with the $110 for Medicare, brought my monthly loss of income to over $1,100!
I spent January thru August of 2022 trying to find a new job. I was hired for one that, upon learning they had forgotten I had a Seeing Eye Dog, said they needed to look into health and safety requirements before not calling me back and going on to return none of my calls, or e-mails.
The second job I was hired for turned out to have software that was not compatible with my accessible technology to work as a person without physical eyesight. Efforts were made to evaluate other ways I could keep the job, but all resulted in me never working a single day for the public entity. (There was talk about helping me find another position, but this was forgotten by July when the HR Rep told me to “…continue to look for job postings to apply for.”. Given I went through two interviews, a background check, and had a physical presence on three separate occasions in the actual workplace, I fail to understand why I’d have to start from the very beginning to find a job.).
2022 was also full of attempts at applying for Civil Service / Government jobs. I had a phone interview for one, but never heard back after it had been successfully completed. I also can proudly share that, in over five jobs I applied for, I scored a perfect 100% on the eligibility tests to have managed only one phone interview.
Given the declining accessibility of gainful employment for those with visual disabilities, I’ve had to stop looking and switch to writing story commissions. The strain on my mental health had become too great after fifteen years of having my disability used against me towards being a productive member of society. However, I am far from popular enough to get paid and asked for story commissions that offset my monthly loss of over $1,100.
This is why, if anyone can help, I need $100 to pay our mortgage that is due by this Friday, September 30th. If it is possible to do so, you can go to www.paypal.com and send what you feel is fair to palumbo.ms[at]gmail.com
I would not mind adding you to my commission queue for the donations. Stories are all $40 each and I’m currently working an average turnaround time of one to three weeks.
Lucca and I are really hoping to get news soon on him getting paid to help me live as independently as possible as a blind, dino-duckling. This ‘should’ start sometime in October. Unfortunately, when it comes to me, I will not be free of the SSA debt until April 2023 and my share of the family debt does not resolve until Spring 2024.
I always prided myself on being ‘responsible’ with all parts of my life. It is just that I get frustrated with how so much effort still puts me in a place where I feel like a complete failure in life. I know that I’m not a failure, but it really hurts knowing you have the talent and ability to make more of your life and can’t do anything with it as a result of society’s ignorance towards the disabled population.
Thanks for reading. This is more of a vent journal brought on by months of frustration.
I hope you may have learned some things about just how The American’s With Disabilities Act (ADA) and public welfare services fail to empower those of us who are genuinely willing and able to earn an honest living. Should you have questions, as I know many of us feel trapped by ‘red tape’ to go beyond just being able to hang in there, please feel free to ask. I’d rather not allow my 15+ years of disability advocacy go to waste when it just may be able to help you, or someone you know.
Your Pal,
---Yosh E. O’Ducky ;)😉
Spring 2024 will be a good time for me. Not only is Spring my favorite season, for many reasons I’m sure you all know, but it is also when I no longer have to pay for my past.
What has caused me financial instability is, first of all, being unable to find a job. There are lots-and-lots of opportunities for people to work in America, but these opportunities drop to almost nothing when you have a disability. In my case, being totally blind.
Despite needing quarterly visits to Glaucoma, Cornea, and Retina doctors who specialize in profound cases of ocular degeneration, I did manage to hold a handful of jobs. These were all lost as a result of the employers growing tired of my disability, or business software ‘updating’ to where my adaptive tools became incompatible towards meeting my job responsibilities. I was ‘forced’ out of all these jobs with the exception of one. The kindness of being ‘laid off’ allowed me to collect unemployment compensation (UC). The downside is there was no intention of bringing me, or my visually-impaired colleagues, back when government software became compatible with active city, state, or federal initiatives.
There was a time I was without debt. It was at the start of 2016. The start of 2016 was also when I started on the final series of surgeries, appointments, and medications to save what eyesight I had left while preventing my dying eye from becoming toxic.
The efforts to save my eyesight ended on December 15th, 2016. More than $10,000 in debt had been accrued on my credit card with additional debt piling up to keep my family afloat.
The final nail in the proverbial coffin came when my wife left me in June 2018. We were not able to make much more than minimal payments on our credit card debt and subsequent loan. This resulted in a total debt of over $60,000!
The divorce was finalized in 2019, but I still had to ‘share the burden’ of $35,000 of the family debt. Thankfully, I found an agency to work with me to negotiate the debt without interest. The only thing I needed to do was pay $660 per month until Spring 2024 and, just like that, I’d be debt free!
$660 was great to get away from an unending, crippling debt. However, the Social Security Administration (SSA) made a mistake by paying me monetary benefits that I was not entitled to. There is really no arguing with the SSA, due to how they keep losing submitted and resubmitted paperwork, and I soon found $265 per month taken out from my monthly monetary benefits. This, coupled with the $110 for Medicare, brought my monthly loss of income to over $1,100!
I spent January thru August of 2022 trying to find a new job. I was hired for one that, upon learning they had forgotten I had a Seeing Eye Dog, said they needed to look into health and safety requirements before not calling me back and going on to return none of my calls, or e-mails.
The second job I was hired for turned out to have software that was not compatible with my accessible technology to work as a person without physical eyesight. Efforts were made to evaluate other ways I could keep the job, but all resulted in me never working a single day for the public entity. (There was talk about helping me find another position, but this was forgotten by July when the HR Rep told me to “…continue to look for job postings to apply for.”. Given I went through two interviews, a background check, and had a physical presence on three separate occasions in the actual workplace, I fail to understand why I’d have to start from the very beginning to find a job.).
2022 was also full of attempts at applying for Civil Service / Government jobs. I had a phone interview for one, but never heard back after it had been successfully completed. I also can proudly share that, in over five jobs I applied for, I scored a perfect 100% on the eligibility tests to have managed only one phone interview.
Given the declining accessibility of gainful employment for those with visual disabilities, I’ve had to stop looking and switch to writing story commissions. The strain on my mental health had become too great after fifteen years of having my disability used against me towards being a productive member of society. However, I am far from popular enough to get paid and asked for story commissions that offset my monthly loss of over $1,100.
This is why, if anyone can help, I need $100 to pay our mortgage that is due by this Friday, September 30th. If it is possible to do so, you can go to www.paypal.com and send what you feel is fair to palumbo.ms[at]gmail.com
I would not mind adding you to my commission queue for the donations. Stories are all $40 each and I’m currently working an average turnaround time of one to three weeks.
Lucca and I are really hoping to get news soon on him getting paid to help me live as independently as possible as a blind, dino-duckling. This ‘should’ start sometime in October. Unfortunately, when it comes to me, I will not be free of the SSA debt until April 2023 and my share of the family debt does not resolve until Spring 2024.
I always prided myself on being ‘responsible’ with all parts of my life. It is just that I get frustrated with how so much effort still puts me in a place where I feel like a complete failure in life. I know that I’m not a failure, but it really hurts knowing you have the talent and ability to make more of your life and can’t do anything with it as a result of society’s ignorance towards the disabled population.
Thanks for reading. This is more of a vent journal brought on by months of frustration.
I hope you may have learned some things about just how The American’s With Disabilities Act (ADA) and public welfare services fail to empower those of us who are genuinely willing and able to earn an honest living. Should you have questions, as I know many of us feel trapped by ‘red tape’ to go beyond just being able to hang in there, please feel free to ask. I’d rather not allow my 15+ years of disability advocacy go to waste when it just may be able to help you, or someone you know.
Your Pal,
---Yosh E. O’Ducky ;)😉
Story Commissions & Help Needed - Part 2 / 2
Posted 3 years agoHamha... Again!
USPS LOST EBAY SALE:
Back in early August, I sold my, ‘Cozy Glow’ plushie for $260! This was bittersweet for how I had really come to appreciate the poorly-treated, Pegasus Pony. However, Lucca and I really needed the money and the plushie maker who created her taught me a very painful, yet valuable, lesson on how one should not try and befriend an artist who is not looking to make friends with their customers.
Well…
We received the payment from the buyer and had Cozy Glow shipped out by August 10th. Unfortunately, the receipt, which had the ‘Priority Mail Tracking Number’ got lost.
Up until September 15th, Lucca and I had not heard a word from any of our seven buyers about having not received their purchased items. This changed when we got a ‘Review Request’ from a buyer who stated they had not received their item… and it was the much needed, $260 ‘Cozy Glow’ plushie.
Attempts to find the lost receipt and work with the USPS to get a copy of the receipt through the use of alternative information were unsuccessful. So, without the tracking number, we were forced to refund the $260 to the buyer. (Being unable to confirm, or deny, their claim is impossible without the tracking number.).
Interestingly, I mailed a package to my Pipster, Ham-Ham pal, Oxnard on August 16th. I was able to find the tracking number, which claimed the package was delivered on August 18th. Oxnard had not received it as of September 12th.
Calls to the USPS Domestic Delivery line got a review to be done where a postal supervisor in Oxnard’s part of the world said the package had truly been delivered by the respective mail carrier on August 18th. This got Lucca and I to try and claim what we could for the ‘Shipping Insurance’. Unfortunately, if you have items that their value cannot be proven through a receipt and/or reputable appraisal entity, you cannot reach the optimum value you may have insured your package for. (This is relevant for ‘Cozy Glow’ given she was a one-of-a-kind, handmade plushie by a very reputable plushie maker. Proving her value would not be easy and, more troublesome, could be impossible given how the artist blocked me from ever contacting them again.).
With regard to Oxnard’s package, it seemed to ‘magically’ appear two days after I talked to the mail supervisor who is responsible for such a Ham-Ham place to live. With ‘Cozy Glow’, I called the post office where the package would’ve ended up and learned that, if it proved undeliverable, it was to be sent to the Atlanta, GA facility to be processed for being returned to me due to not being able to be successfully delivered. (This has not yet happened, as of the writing of this journal, and the projected turnaround time was set at two weeks. This would have had the package returned between mid to late September. I’m really hoping for late September.).
In short, we need to make back $260 before September 30th, or we will not be able to pay the mortgage.
PRE & POST SURGERY SUPPORT TROUBLE:
My sister, Winry, and her husband, Flynn, are still not talking with me since the time Winry lashed out at Lucca over the phone back in August. As I am not good in holding a grudge, I reached out this past Wednesday to see if I could ask Winry why she is not trying to work this out with me. I got only a short discussion in before she told me her dog, Sage, was not doing well and that she did not have time to talk at that time.
As of the writing of this journal, Sage is still hanging in there despite all she has been through to make it to be a sixteen year old Pomeranian. Unfortunately, Winry has not got back to try and work things out. It also seems that she is unhappy about Lucca and I being together, too.
The situation with my sister’s feelings towards my relationship with Lucca and how her dog is doing are not as relevant as how these factors impact my mom, Mrs. O’Ducky. Mrs. O’Ducky wants to ensure all is well between what remaining family members we have. However, without going into detail, Winry and Flynn seem to be more tense than ever. This could negatively impact Lucca and I when my mom returns to take me in for surgery on October 19th.
INSURANCE PARADOX:
When my mom took me in for the pre-surgery appointment this past Tuesday, the Surgical Coordinator was in quite the mood. This mood got worse when I mentioned I had, finally, qualified for both ‘Medicare’ and ‘Medicaid’. Apparently having both insurances means I will have to pay more than I would by just having Medicare. (If anyone can logic this out, please tell me how two insurances result in less aid for a non-elective surgery.).
The last time I had to pay for part of a surgery is when I had Blue Cross & Blue Shield insurance through the grocery store chain I worked for in 2019. The out-of-pocket cost was slightly over $1,000. The not-so-nice lady said I could make payment plans, but who knows in this time in our world where profits for ‘Total Health Solutions’ and their shareholders take priority over helping people who truly need it. (Fancy way to say how hospitals own their own insurance companies, or how insurance companies have bought up hospitals to create distinctive ‘in network’ situations that can keep patients from receiving optimal health care based solely upon what the insurance company will, or will not, help pay for.).
If anyone can help Lucca and I reach $260 before next Friday, September 30th, we’d be extremely grateful. If it was not for the sale on eBay we had to refund, we’d be okay with more time to wait for Lucca to be approved as my paid, in-home caretaker. Unfortunately, time is not on our side and my family, for the first time I can remember, is not available to help me out in making up the $260 needed to make the mortgage payment.
If you are able to help, my PayPal is palumbo.ms@gmail.com.
Thanks for reading, sharing, and for taking the time to see just how hard both Lucca and I have been working to improve our situation despite countless obstacles, bottlenecks, and misinformation.
Your Pal,
---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)
USPS LOST EBAY SALE:
Back in early August, I sold my, ‘Cozy Glow’ plushie for $260! This was bittersweet for how I had really come to appreciate the poorly-treated, Pegasus Pony. However, Lucca and I really needed the money and the plushie maker who created her taught me a very painful, yet valuable, lesson on how one should not try and befriend an artist who is not looking to make friends with their customers.
Well…
We received the payment from the buyer and had Cozy Glow shipped out by August 10th. Unfortunately, the receipt, which had the ‘Priority Mail Tracking Number’ got lost.
Up until September 15th, Lucca and I had not heard a word from any of our seven buyers about having not received their purchased items. This changed when we got a ‘Review Request’ from a buyer who stated they had not received their item… and it was the much needed, $260 ‘Cozy Glow’ plushie.
Attempts to find the lost receipt and work with the USPS to get a copy of the receipt through the use of alternative information were unsuccessful. So, without the tracking number, we were forced to refund the $260 to the buyer. (Being unable to confirm, or deny, their claim is impossible without the tracking number.).
Interestingly, I mailed a package to my Pipster, Ham-Ham pal, Oxnard on August 16th. I was able to find the tracking number, which claimed the package was delivered on August 18th. Oxnard had not received it as of September 12th.
Calls to the USPS Domestic Delivery line got a review to be done where a postal supervisor in Oxnard’s part of the world said the package had truly been delivered by the respective mail carrier on August 18th. This got Lucca and I to try and claim what we could for the ‘Shipping Insurance’. Unfortunately, if you have items that their value cannot be proven through a receipt and/or reputable appraisal entity, you cannot reach the optimum value you may have insured your package for. (This is relevant for ‘Cozy Glow’ given she was a one-of-a-kind, handmade plushie by a very reputable plushie maker. Proving her value would not be easy and, more troublesome, could be impossible given how the artist blocked me from ever contacting them again.).
With regard to Oxnard’s package, it seemed to ‘magically’ appear two days after I talked to the mail supervisor who is responsible for such a Ham-Ham place to live. With ‘Cozy Glow’, I called the post office where the package would’ve ended up and learned that, if it proved undeliverable, it was to be sent to the Atlanta, GA facility to be processed for being returned to me due to not being able to be successfully delivered. (This has not yet happened, as of the writing of this journal, and the projected turnaround time was set at two weeks. This would have had the package returned between mid to late September. I’m really hoping for late September.).
In short, we need to make back $260 before September 30th, or we will not be able to pay the mortgage.
PRE & POST SURGERY SUPPORT TROUBLE:
My sister, Winry, and her husband, Flynn, are still not talking with me since the time Winry lashed out at Lucca over the phone back in August. As I am not good in holding a grudge, I reached out this past Wednesday to see if I could ask Winry why she is not trying to work this out with me. I got only a short discussion in before she told me her dog, Sage, was not doing well and that she did not have time to talk at that time.
As of the writing of this journal, Sage is still hanging in there despite all she has been through to make it to be a sixteen year old Pomeranian. Unfortunately, Winry has not got back to try and work things out. It also seems that she is unhappy about Lucca and I being together, too.
The situation with my sister’s feelings towards my relationship with Lucca and how her dog is doing are not as relevant as how these factors impact my mom, Mrs. O’Ducky. Mrs. O’Ducky wants to ensure all is well between what remaining family members we have. However, without going into detail, Winry and Flynn seem to be more tense than ever. This could negatively impact Lucca and I when my mom returns to take me in for surgery on October 19th.
INSURANCE PARADOX:
When my mom took me in for the pre-surgery appointment this past Tuesday, the Surgical Coordinator was in quite the mood. This mood got worse when I mentioned I had, finally, qualified for both ‘Medicare’ and ‘Medicaid’. Apparently having both insurances means I will have to pay more than I would by just having Medicare. (If anyone can logic this out, please tell me how two insurances result in less aid for a non-elective surgery.).
The last time I had to pay for part of a surgery is when I had Blue Cross & Blue Shield insurance through the grocery store chain I worked for in 2019. The out-of-pocket cost was slightly over $1,000. The not-so-nice lady said I could make payment plans, but who knows in this time in our world where profits for ‘Total Health Solutions’ and their shareholders take priority over helping people who truly need it. (Fancy way to say how hospitals own their own insurance companies, or how insurance companies have bought up hospitals to create distinctive ‘in network’ situations that can keep patients from receiving optimal health care based solely upon what the insurance company will, or will not, help pay for.).
If anyone can help Lucca and I reach $260 before next Friday, September 30th, we’d be extremely grateful. If it was not for the sale on eBay we had to refund, we’d be okay with more time to wait for Lucca to be approved as my paid, in-home caretaker. Unfortunately, time is not on our side and my family, for the first time I can remember, is not available to help me out in making up the $260 needed to make the mortgage payment.
If you are able to help, my PayPal is palumbo.ms@gmail.com.
Thanks for reading, sharing, and for taking the time to see just how hard both Lucca and I have been working to improve our situation despite countless obstacles, bottlenecks, and misinformation.
Your Pal,
---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)
Story Commission Status & Life Updates - Part 1 of 2
Posted 3 years agoHamha:
Here’s what’s new in story commissions and all things dino-duckling!
----
CURRENT STORY COMMISSIONS:
1: nishi - Updating draft & finishing 'Part 6' of 7.
2: littlebeararnold - Revising ‘Part 2’ & ‘Part 3’& starting ‘Part 3’.
3: landonbay - Preparing to start 'Part 1'.
4: Anonymous - Building template for MLP: FiM fan story.
5: silverkittie - Pending.
SURGICAL UPDATES:
The date of my final eye surgery has been set for Wednesday, October 19th. It is the first major eye surgery to be done where I live instead of in a hospital that is located over 100 miles away.
The surgery, which is to remove my left eye, will take between 1 to 2 hours. Post operative care will be focused on preserving the open space for a prosthetic / false eye. (This will be able to match the fake eye I currently have where my right eye used to be. It will take about a month, or two, before the prosthetic can be measured, handmade, and ready for24x7 use.).
Another first, for me, is how the prosthetic being created, which fits more like a contact lens and is put in and taken out quite similarly, is how I will have a left eye and right eye that match in appearance! (No more looking extra creepy with one, or both, of my eyes looking like a storm on the planet Jupiter.).
PAID CARETAKER STATUS:
Papa Lucca has, finally, been fully approved to be my at-home caretaker! This means that, once the evaluator determines how many hours per day his efforts can be paid for, we will have a sustainable income that is not 100% reliant on art and/or story commissions! (There is some additional paperwork, which serves as a ‘time card’, which still needs completed. However, everything looks to be in effect before my October 19th surgery with Lucca being paid by, hopefully, no later than the beginning of November.).
…
Here’s what’s new in story commissions and all things dino-duckling!
----
CURRENT STORY COMMISSIONS:
1:
nishi - Updating draft & finishing 'Part 6' of 7. 2:
littlebeararnold - Revising ‘Part 2’ & ‘Part 3’& starting ‘Part 3’.3:
landonbay - Preparing to start 'Part 1'.4: Anonymous - Building template for MLP: FiM fan story.
5:
silverkittie - Pending.SURGICAL UPDATES:
The date of my final eye surgery has been set for Wednesday, October 19th. It is the first major eye surgery to be done where I live instead of in a hospital that is located over 100 miles away.
The surgery, which is to remove my left eye, will take between 1 to 2 hours. Post operative care will be focused on preserving the open space for a prosthetic / false eye. (This will be able to match the fake eye I currently have where my right eye used to be. It will take about a month, or two, before the prosthetic can be measured, handmade, and ready for24x7 use.).
Another first, for me, is how the prosthetic being created, which fits more like a contact lens and is put in and taken out quite similarly, is how I will have a left eye and right eye that match in appearance! (No more looking extra creepy with one, or both, of my eyes looking like a storm on the planet Jupiter.).
PAID CARETAKER STATUS:
Papa Lucca has, finally, been fully approved to be my at-home caretaker! This means that, once the evaluator determines how many hours per day his efforts can be paid for, we will have a sustainable income that is not 100% reliant on art and/or story commissions! (There is some additional paperwork, which serves as a ‘time card’, which still needs completed. However, everything looks to be in effect before my October 19th surgery with Lucca being paid by, hopefully, no later than the beginning of November.).
…
Pre-Surgery Story Commissions & Quacking Out Stress
Posted 3 years agohOI!!!!!!
Some story updates along with giving myself a longer time on the proverbial ‘changing table’ to work through some of the things that have been making me feel a bit messy in the head.
First off is story commission status! Woop!
----
CURRENT STORY COMMISSIONS:
1: silverkittie - Final draft sent for approval.
2:
leonXIII - Starting ‘Part 9’ of 11.
3: littlebeararnold - Starting ‘Part 4’.
4: nishi - Starting 'Part 1'.
5: landonbay - Preparing to start 'Part 1'.
EMERGENCY COMMISSION SPOTS:
10 Slots Available
$40 per story. Seeking to raise $400 to cover expenses needed to best prepare for forthcoming surgery in late September, or early October.
EMERGENCY eBAY SALES:
https://www.ebay.com/sch/yoshiducky.....pg=&_from=
Another way that Lucca and I are trying to raise over $400 to best prepare for my fo* Feel free to make offers and inquire if you may be seeking other collectables.
* I have Neopets complete trading card game (TCG) sets along with complete sets of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic trading cards, which include foil variants. I also have collections of single cards of all rarity types for ‘Sweetie Belle’ and ‘Scootaloo’. (I would ideally like $100 for each of the complete card set and $50 for each of the ‘Sweetie Belle’ and ‘Scootaloo’ collections. However, given the upcoming surgery, I’m open to offers and inquiries.).
I have some ‘’G3 – My Little Pony’ plastic figures for Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and others who could use a new home for a reasonable donation plus shipping costs.
STORY COMMISSIONS:
Please write me a private message (PM) with any questions you may have about placing yourself in my story commission que. All stories are $with NO limit on word count. (Most stories I finish run between 2,500 and 3,000 words.).
Examples of recent story commissions I have finished can be provided. (Links for these stories will return in the next journal update, which is coming soon with a new commission to check out!).
SECURE YOUR SPOT / DONATE:
Palumbo.ms[at]gmail.com
The above is how to pay your $40 to guarantee your spot in the commission queue. (Donations are welcome, but not necessary.).
THOUGHTS FROM THE CHANGING TABLE:
The following summaries of overwhelming thoughts make for one heck of a mess to clean up. Please know that I write these to serve as a personal ‘sounding board’ to help me better get a grip on my emotions while, for those who may read, offer some insights in how we all endure difficult times that, through the creative arts, we can process, better understand , and not allow them to take away from permitting ourselves to be happy over miserable.
1: No Jobs For Blind Men:
A pun based on the movie title from a few years ago, but quite fitting to simplify how it has truly proved to be an effort in futility to find a job working within the public, or private, sector.
You hear how jobs are everywhere and how people “Just don’t want to work!”. Well, I am here to tell you that this is far from the case for those of us who are afflicted by physical and/or psychological disabilities.
Ever since 2006, which is one year after acquiring my Masters Degree in business Administration, I have done everything possible to adapt myself to whatever workplace I managed to get myself into. The frightening part is how it has always been ‘my responsibility’ to figure out how to do a job that became difficult, or impossible, for me to do as a result of my eyesight worsening, becoming 100% blind, or organizational change that eliminated compatible systems in which I could genuinely interact with using the most current versions of Accessible Hardware & Software.
Every job I have ever held since 2006 has been lost as a result of organizational change that negated my ability to meet my day-to-day work duties. The employer may have tried one thing, or removed job responsibilities entirely, before taking an approach that was designed to create a toxic working environment that got increasingly psychologically abusive until I was left with no other choice but to quit my job. (Quitting means the company does NOT have any obligation to pay for Unemployment Compensation (UC) benefits. It also makes it awkward when you are asked the dreaded, “Why did you leave your last employer?” question during a job interview.).
This year, I attempted to find work in multiple places within private and public organizations. The first opportunity was seconds away from being offered to me until, somehow, they forgot I had a ‘Seeing Eye Dog’. The hiring manager informed me that they needed to make sure the presence of my dog was not detrimental to the clientele they served. However, despite saying they’d follow up with me the following day, I never got a call back. I tried calling to check on the status of the job offer on a bi-weekly interval until it was beyond apparent I was passed over for the job.
The second job was one I did get hired for. My start date was at the end of February. However, I was not able to interact with the third-party software the city department used for keeping track of its records. I was brought in again in April to try a variant of the third-party software that ‘kind of’ worked, but not enough to perform the essential job responsibilities. In May, the Office of Vocational Rehabilitation (OVR) Bureau of Blindness & Visual Services (BBVS) helped me to have a certified Accessibility Technology Specialist (AT) come in to perform a full evaluation of the job. It was then that the evaluator shared how it was not feasible for me to do the day-to-day interactions with the public, which was part of my job, while also talking on how the third-party vendor needed to still make some updates in order for me to be able to interact with it. This ended my employed, but never worked a single hour, job with the city.
In June, I interviewed for a job working for an insurance broker. This opportunity quickly ended when I was asked about how well I could use a filing cabinet. I ‘can’ use one with a combination of blind-friendly hardware and software. The trouble is how such tools are not fast enough to perform the necessary job functions to the required expectations of the organization’s customers. So, with the least amount of surprise and loads of knowing this was another dead end, I did what I could to show I was open for other opportunities. None came.
While the above was going on, I was told I may be able to do some work in educating local employees of both the city and state on best practices when interacting with people with disabilities. This would not have paid me anything, but it could have been a way to be seen for other opportunities. Sadly, nothing came of this despite my respectful inquiring every few weeks to show I still wanted to partake in such an activity.
There was also talk of me becoming a temporary assistant to the Human Resources (HR) coordinator that had been a part of hiring me for the job working for the city. This fell apart a few weeks ago when, during one of my routine check-ins, I was told they would just have another employee help the HR Coordinator.
Taking the above with how I took ‘four’ Civil Service Exams, which I scord a perfect “100” on each, and only got one phone interview prior to being ghosted by the Hiring manager in that particular part of the state’s operations along with my Vocational Rehabilitation Counselor (VRC) being taken off my case so a returning VRC could have their region back, an Employment Specialist with the PA State Career Link service forgetting all about me after just one phone interaction, having not heard a word from my returning VRC in over two months, and, well, I think it is pretty clear that my best bet is to do story commissions until further notice.
2: Family Squabbles:
My sister, the RL Winry, has been getting progressively more condescending and judgmental towards me ever since Tina Bear and I separated in 2018. Each passing year, I have been badgered, mostly in a passive-aggressive way, for my parenting ability, how I turned my son, Peep, against his Aunt and Uncle, how my decisions are what lead to my mother, Mrs. O’Ducky, having her most recent seizure, etc.
Well, given the growing amount of blame and belittlement, Winry and her husband, Flynn, finally crossed a line that has me on non-speaking terms with my younger sister. What crossed the line? It was while Lucca was sitting with me while I called Winry to find out how Mrs. O’Ducky was feeling about coming down to visit towards the middle of this past month. There was apparently a belief that Lucca and I were hurting my mom by updating the house through selling, or donating, furniture that prevented us from making the overall home feel like one that best accommodated to the needs of Lucca and myself. Mrs. O’Ducky had said she did not mind us doing what we needed to in order to maintain the house, but a table we gave to a family that could really use it got Winry and Flynn furious with me. So, it was on this most recent call of nearly two weeks ago, Winry came at me about Lucca and I giving away the table. Lucca, tired of hearing how Winry has been very unfriendly during every encounter they ever had with my sister, spoke up to say how they were a part of the decision to give the table to the family that needed it. This earned a roaring reply of, “LUCCA! I AM TALKING TO MY BROTHER! NOT YOU! I DID NOT ASK FOR YOUR OPINION!”.
Big surprise, this very unfriendly statement hurt Lucca, who has been trying to cope with how my family seems to be against them being a part of my life, and left me knowing that it may take quite some time before Winry and I can reconcile. I’m not in a rush as, right now, my goal is to care for Peep and Lucca. However, one day, I hope Winry and Flynn will take time to see how much I’ve had to constantly adapt and readapt where they have lived in the same place and have worked for the same employers since before 2009.
I didn’t intend to write so much. I guess this mess inside my head was far messier than I expected. Thankfully, Ms. Macaroni Penguin is really good at her job and I feel a lot better having gotten just these major bothers quacked out.
Thanks to everyone for your support to both Lucca and I as we journey to better our lives as Duckling & Lion.
Your Pal,
---Yosh E. O’Ducky ;)
Some story updates along with giving myself a longer time on the proverbial ‘changing table’ to work through some of the things that have been making me feel a bit messy in the head.
First off is story commission status! Woop!
----
CURRENT STORY COMMISSIONS:
1:
silverkittie - Final draft sent for approval.2:
leonXIII - Starting ‘Part 9’ of 11.3:
littlebeararnold - Starting ‘Part 4’.4:
nishi - Starting 'Part 1'.5:
landonbay - Preparing to start 'Part 1'.EMERGENCY COMMISSION SPOTS:
10 Slots Available
$40 per story. Seeking to raise $400 to cover expenses needed to best prepare for forthcoming surgery in late September, or early October.
EMERGENCY eBAY SALES:
https://www.ebay.com/sch/yoshiducky.....pg=&_from=
Another way that Lucca and I are trying to raise over $400 to best prepare for my fo* Feel free to make offers and inquire if you may be seeking other collectables.
* I have Neopets complete trading card game (TCG) sets along with complete sets of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic trading cards, which include foil variants. I also have collections of single cards of all rarity types for ‘Sweetie Belle’ and ‘Scootaloo’. (I would ideally like $100 for each of the complete card set and $50 for each of the ‘Sweetie Belle’ and ‘Scootaloo’ collections. However, given the upcoming surgery, I’m open to offers and inquiries.).
I have some ‘’G3 – My Little Pony’ plastic figures for Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and others who could use a new home for a reasonable donation plus shipping costs.
STORY COMMISSIONS:
Please write me a private message (PM) with any questions you may have about placing yourself in my story commission que. All stories are $with NO limit on word count. (Most stories I finish run between 2,500 and 3,000 words.).
Examples of recent story commissions I have finished can be provided. (Links for these stories will return in the next journal update, which is coming soon with a new commission to check out!).
SECURE YOUR SPOT / DONATE:
Palumbo.ms[at]gmail.com
The above is how to pay your $40 to guarantee your spot in the commission queue. (Donations are welcome, but not necessary.).
THOUGHTS FROM THE CHANGING TABLE:
The following summaries of overwhelming thoughts make for one heck of a mess to clean up. Please know that I write these to serve as a personal ‘sounding board’ to help me better get a grip on my emotions while, for those who may read, offer some insights in how we all endure difficult times that, through the creative arts, we can process, better understand , and not allow them to take away from permitting ourselves to be happy over miserable.
1: No Jobs For Blind Men:
A pun based on the movie title from a few years ago, but quite fitting to simplify how it has truly proved to be an effort in futility to find a job working within the public, or private, sector.
You hear how jobs are everywhere and how people “Just don’t want to work!”. Well, I am here to tell you that this is far from the case for those of us who are afflicted by physical and/or psychological disabilities.
Ever since 2006, which is one year after acquiring my Masters Degree in business Administration, I have done everything possible to adapt myself to whatever workplace I managed to get myself into. The frightening part is how it has always been ‘my responsibility’ to figure out how to do a job that became difficult, or impossible, for me to do as a result of my eyesight worsening, becoming 100% blind, or organizational change that eliminated compatible systems in which I could genuinely interact with using the most current versions of Accessible Hardware & Software.
Every job I have ever held since 2006 has been lost as a result of organizational change that negated my ability to meet my day-to-day work duties. The employer may have tried one thing, or removed job responsibilities entirely, before taking an approach that was designed to create a toxic working environment that got increasingly psychologically abusive until I was left with no other choice but to quit my job. (Quitting means the company does NOT have any obligation to pay for Unemployment Compensation (UC) benefits. It also makes it awkward when you are asked the dreaded, “Why did you leave your last employer?” question during a job interview.).
This year, I attempted to find work in multiple places within private and public organizations. The first opportunity was seconds away from being offered to me until, somehow, they forgot I had a ‘Seeing Eye Dog’. The hiring manager informed me that they needed to make sure the presence of my dog was not detrimental to the clientele they served. However, despite saying they’d follow up with me the following day, I never got a call back. I tried calling to check on the status of the job offer on a bi-weekly interval until it was beyond apparent I was passed over for the job.
The second job was one I did get hired for. My start date was at the end of February. However, I was not able to interact with the third-party software the city department used for keeping track of its records. I was brought in again in April to try a variant of the third-party software that ‘kind of’ worked, but not enough to perform the essential job responsibilities. In May, the Office of Vocational Rehabilitation (OVR) Bureau of Blindness & Visual Services (BBVS) helped me to have a certified Accessibility Technology Specialist (AT) come in to perform a full evaluation of the job. It was then that the evaluator shared how it was not feasible for me to do the day-to-day interactions with the public, which was part of my job, while also talking on how the third-party vendor needed to still make some updates in order for me to be able to interact with it. This ended my employed, but never worked a single hour, job with the city.
In June, I interviewed for a job working for an insurance broker. This opportunity quickly ended when I was asked about how well I could use a filing cabinet. I ‘can’ use one with a combination of blind-friendly hardware and software. The trouble is how such tools are not fast enough to perform the necessary job functions to the required expectations of the organization’s customers. So, with the least amount of surprise and loads of knowing this was another dead end, I did what I could to show I was open for other opportunities. None came.
While the above was going on, I was told I may be able to do some work in educating local employees of both the city and state on best practices when interacting with people with disabilities. This would not have paid me anything, but it could have been a way to be seen for other opportunities. Sadly, nothing came of this despite my respectful inquiring every few weeks to show I still wanted to partake in such an activity.
There was also talk of me becoming a temporary assistant to the Human Resources (HR) coordinator that had been a part of hiring me for the job working for the city. This fell apart a few weeks ago when, during one of my routine check-ins, I was told they would just have another employee help the HR Coordinator.
Taking the above with how I took ‘four’ Civil Service Exams, which I scord a perfect “100” on each, and only got one phone interview prior to being ghosted by the Hiring manager in that particular part of the state’s operations along with my Vocational Rehabilitation Counselor (VRC) being taken off my case so a returning VRC could have their region back, an Employment Specialist with the PA State Career Link service forgetting all about me after just one phone interaction, having not heard a word from my returning VRC in over two months, and, well, I think it is pretty clear that my best bet is to do story commissions until further notice.
2: Family Squabbles:
My sister, the RL Winry, has been getting progressively more condescending and judgmental towards me ever since Tina Bear and I separated in 2018. Each passing year, I have been badgered, mostly in a passive-aggressive way, for my parenting ability, how I turned my son, Peep, against his Aunt and Uncle, how my decisions are what lead to my mother, Mrs. O’Ducky, having her most recent seizure, etc.
Well, given the growing amount of blame and belittlement, Winry and her husband, Flynn, finally crossed a line that has me on non-speaking terms with my younger sister. What crossed the line? It was while Lucca was sitting with me while I called Winry to find out how Mrs. O’Ducky was feeling about coming down to visit towards the middle of this past month. There was apparently a belief that Lucca and I were hurting my mom by updating the house through selling, or donating, furniture that prevented us from making the overall home feel like one that best accommodated to the needs of Lucca and myself. Mrs. O’Ducky had said she did not mind us doing what we needed to in order to maintain the house, but a table we gave to a family that could really use it got Winry and Flynn furious with me. So, it was on this most recent call of nearly two weeks ago, Winry came at me about Lucca and I giving away the table. Lucca, tired of hearing how Winry has been very unfriendly during every encounter they ever had with my sister, spoke up to say how they were a part of the decision to give the table to the family that needed it. This earned a roaring reply of, “LUCCA! I AM TALKING TO MY BROTHER! NOT YOU! I DID NOT ASK FOR YOUR OPINION!”.
Big surprise, this very unfriendly statement hurt Lucca, who has been trying to cope with how my family seems to be against them being a part of my life, and left me knowing that it may take quite some time before Winry and I can reconcile. I’m not in a rush as, right now, my goal is to care for Peep and Lucca. However, one day, I hope Winry and Flynn will take time to see how much I’ve had to constantly adapt and readapt where they have lived in the same place and have worked for the same employers since before 2009.
I didn’t intend to write so much. I guess this mess inside my head was far messier than I expected. Thankfully, Ms. Macaroni Penguin is really good at her job and I feel a lot better having gotten just these major bothers quacked out.
Thanks to everyone for your support to both Lucca and I as we journey to better our lives as Duckling & Lion.
Your Pal,
---Yosh E. O’Ducky ;)
