Yosh-E-O's Journals -- Fur Affinity [dot] net

Story Commission Status & My Last Eye Surgery

Posted 3 years ago

Hamha:

Here’s what’s new in story commissions and all things dino-duckling!

----
CURRENT STORY COMMISSIONS:
1:

silverkittie - 50% through 'Part 5' of 6.
2:

leonXIII - Finished ‘Part 8’ of 11.
3:

littlebeararnold - Revising ‘Part 2’ & ‘Part 3’& starting ‘Part 3’.
4: nishi

nishi - Starting 'Part 1'.
5:

landonbay - Preparing to start 'Part 1'.

SPECIAL SLOTS:
To help with forthcoming surgery.
1: -- OPEN --
2: -- OPEN --
3: -- OPEN --
4: -- OPEN --
5: -- OPEN --
6: -- OPEN --
7: -- OPEN --
8: -- OPEN --
9: -- OPEN --
10: -- OPEN --

My left eye needs removed as it is starting to become dangerously unhealthy. The surgery will take place either at the end of September, or during the month of October. To help with expenses before, during, and after the procedure, I am either looking to raise $400 by completing story commissions, or through selling parts of my personal collection that I am comfortable in parting with.

SALE ITEMS:
Offers welcome. Lucca and I can also take offers through direct messages either here on FA, or over on Twitter.

FINISHED STORY COMMISSIONS:
Thought it was about time I provided links to all the works I’ve done for those interested in making a story with me.

A No Mess Success
SFW: General – Light Baby Fur / Little Themes
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48061114/

The Naked Truth
NSFW: Mature – Nudity with Adult Themes
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47956571/

A Toddler Time & Place
SFW: General – Mild Baby Fur / Little Themes
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47902918/

An Out of Berdly Adventure: Fanfiction Characters From - ‘Undertale’ / ‘Delta Rune’
NSFW: Mature – Adult Themes and Nudity
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47666775/

Like Father & Son
Part 1 – SFW: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48495997/
Part 2 – SFW – Mild Babyfur Themes: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48496990/
Part 3 – NSFW – Suggestive Content and Babyfur Themes: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48500038/

HOW TO COMMISSION YOUR STORY:
Rates for all story commissions are $40 with no word limit.

I am a versatile writer of ‘Slice of Life’, ‘Fantasy’, and/or ‘Science Fiction’ stories. Please send me a Private Message (PM) to claim a slot. Please note that I do ‘not’ do ‘Dark’, ‘Horror’, or ‘Tragedy’’. ‘Porn’ / ‘Nudity’ and/or ‘Adult Themes’ can be discussed. However, as I’ve tried all these genres to some extent, they are far from my comfort zone while not being what I can write with satisfactory success.

THOUGHTS FROM THE CHANGING TABLE:
I'd like to start by addressing the proverbial 'Elephant In The Room' of my forthcoming surgery. It is going to be to remove my left eye after having not worked since I was five years old. The eye was kept in the hopes that medical science may be able to use this less operated upon eyeball to repair, transplant, or regenerate damaged tissue to regain usable eyesight. However, similar to what happened with my right eye in 2019, a situation has arisen that could cause an infection if the eye is not removed.

The surgery itself is very simple compared to the over 100 previous procedures that have been done to my eyes throughout my lifetime. What makes this one special is that it will be my absolute last eye surgery ever! You can't perform surgery on a part of the body that no longer is a part of it. :)

***

I think I will wrap things up with this announcement. Please let me know if you may be interested in commissioning me for one of the special slots. Doing them will help me to have bills paid off while I prepare and recover from the soon to be scheduled surgery. Lucca and I are also updating our offerings for sale, too. New links will be posted soon. Please feel free to ask any questions, or make offers.

[i]Your Pal,

---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)

4 Comments | View Journal

Story Commission Status - Open Slot Now Available!

Posted 3 years ago

Hamha:

Here’s what’s new in story commissions and all things dino-duckling!

----
CURRENT STORY COMMISSIONS:
1:

silverkittie - PAID & PRIORITIZED –75% through ‘Part 4’.
2:

leonXIII - Payment Received – Finished ‘Part 7’.
3:

littlebeararnold - Revising ‘Part 2’ & ‘Part 3’& starting ‘Part 3’.
4:

landonbay - Gathering information for initial draft
5: -- Open --

FINISHED STORY COMMISSIONS:
Thought it was about time I provided links to all the works I’ve done for those interested in making a story with me.

A No Mess Success
SFW: General – Light Baby Fur / Little Themes
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48061114/

The Naked Truth
NSFW: Mature – Nudity with Adult Themes
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47956571/

A Toddler Time & Place
SFW: General – Mild Baby Fur / Little Themes
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47902918/

An Out of Berdly Adventure: Fanfiction Characters From - ‘Undertale’ / ‘Delta Rune’
NSFW: Mature – Adult Themes and Nudity
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47666775/

Like Father & Son
Part 1 – SFW: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48495997/
Part 2 – SFW – Mild Babyfur Themes: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48496990/
Part 3 – NSFW – Suggestive Content and Babyfur Themes: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48500038/

HOW TO COMMISSION YOUR STORY:
Rates for all story commissions are $40 with no word limit.

I am a versatile writer of ‘Slice of Life’, ‘Fantasy’, and/or ‘Science Fiction’ stories. Please send me a Private Message (PM) to claim a slot. Please note that I do ‘not’ do ‘Dark’, ‘Horror’, or ‘Tragedy’’. ‘Porn’ / ‘Nudity’ and/or ‘Adult Themes’ can be discussed. However, as I’ve tried all these genres to some extent, they are far from my comfort zone while not being what I can write with satisfactory success.

THOUGHTS FROM THE CHANGING TABLE:
I'd like to start by sending a big 'Thank You!' to [i]Otter John for allowing me to be the first to work with his OCs, Jack / Junior and Kenneth / Kissyfur. We truly collaborated together to make something great from a handful of draft ideas. I hope you all will consider getting to know these lovable characters, along with the friendly sea otter who created them., as they continue to have such meaningful and heartwarming adventures.

***

It is also my pleasure to share that I have an open slot for anyone interested in a story commission! The price is $40 for the entire story with no word limit. Leave a comment and/or send me a private message to claim a slot. I expect to have two additional slots open by the end of the week. :)

[b][i]Your Pal,

---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)

0 Comments | View Journal

Story Commission Status & Working Out Sadness

Posted 3 years ago

Hamha:

Here’s what’s new in story commissions and all things dino-duckling!

----
CURRENT STORY COMMISSIONS:
1: Otter John – COMPLETE – Awaiting final approval.
2:

silverkitty - PAID & PRIORITIZED –75% through ‘Part 4’.
3:

leonXIII - Payment Received – Starting ‘Part 6’.
4:

littlebeararnold - Revising ‘Part 2’ & ‘Part 3’& starting ‘Part 4’.
5:

landonbay - Gathering information for initial draft

HOW TO COMMISSION YOUR STORY:
Rates for all story commissions are $450 with no word limit.

I am a versatile writer of ‘Slice of Life’, ‘Fantasy’, and/or ‘Science Fiction’ stories. Please send me a Private Message (PM) to claim a slot. Please note that I do ‘not’ do ‘Dark’, ‘Horror’, or ‘Tragedy’’. ‘Porn’ / ‘Nudity’ and/or ‘Adult Themes’ can be discussed. However, as I’ve tried all these genres to some extent, they are far from my comfort zone while not being what I can write with satisfactory success.

THOUGHTS FROM THE CHANGING TABLE:
Thanks to all who have taken the time to read these life updates. They serve as my ‘Virtual Diary’ along with using my passion for writing to clear out what is making me insane in the membrane.

It is with great joy that I share how I have finished the first of my stories in my commission queue! Once the commissioner lets me know there final thoughts and whether-or-not they would like me to share the story here on FA, I will have an open commission slot to take on another story!

I tried to open up commission slots yesterday, but I found the works I’ve been assigned to do need some additional effort to ensure they are more than worth the time, money, and trust given to me by those who commissioned me to do them.

It is ideal that I have one more story done before I reopen for story commissions. The rate is changing to a flat $40 over the previous $15 per 1,000 words. (The reason for the change is that most stories have been running at about 2,500 words. I also am quite dedicated to providing a quality work that allows the reader to see more than what they read.].

***

Things IRL have been a tad bit chaotic. What I struggle with most is trying to feel happy with who I am and what I like despite being surrounded by a lot of negativity. (It’s hard to stay focused on what you need to do when you know someone you value is feeling sad, upset, depressed, etc.).

It is unrealistic to think I am able to make things better that are not within my direct control. However, being me for as long as I’ve been who I am, I can’t help but feel like a deflated football / soccer ball when depressive rain is pouring all around my personal happy place. (What I need to do is allow sad things to be sad so that the one’s who are unhappy with life can do what is best for them. My assistance should only come if I am directly asked for it. Even if I am asked to try and help, I must not feel bad if I am not able to be of any aid and/or appear to make the situation worse.).

***

Lucca has really helped me to see in ways I wish I had been able to notice many years ago. They are so patient with me and the whimsical nonsense I put them through as a result of my blindisms. (An example of this would be my ‘Virtual Autopilot’, which causes it to appear as if I did not listen to a previous statement as a result of it correlating with a long held, default action programmed deep into my memory.).

Another big revelation is truly considering what it is that I should retain in my personal collection. Not being able to physically see anything I have accumulated over time has really put a damper on how special tangible items, most notably my card collections, have become. Much of what I held special seems to just take up space and/or have more negative feelings associated to them than positive ones.

For this reason, I am working with Lucca to sell those things that have some value to earn extra money to put towards the ongoing repairs and remodeling of the house we occupy. You can check out what we are currently selling by following the link below…
https://www.ebay.com/sch/yoshiducky.....75.m3561.l2562

***

This is a good place to leave off for now. I really just want to feel good about what I tangibly keep around Lucca and myself. They have to actually see what I may have largely forgotten about while I, obviously, cannot. If it is something super-ultra-mega special to ‘me’, I will wish to keep it. However, if it is not special and takes away from what available space Lucca and I have to work with, I’d rather sell, trade, or give it away.

Thanks for reading and for considering me to write stories for you. The job market is very, very difficult for those of us who are 100% blind. Even getting a job doesn’t guarantee you can do the job. This doesn’t make much sense until you realize just how The Americans With disabilities Act (ADA) provides countless ‘exceptions’ that allow public and private entities to shirk testing software systems, hardware, and other online and offline technology that keep them ‘compliant’ even if skilled and qualified applicants, like yours QUACKSLY, cannot interact and/or operate them with use of up-to-date hardware and software technology.

Your Pal,

---Yosh E. O’Ducky )

5 Comments | View Journal

Story Commission Status -- Life Revelations

Posted 3 years ago

Hamha:

Here’s what’s new in story commissions and all things dino-duckling!

----
CURRENT STORY COMMISSIONS:
1: Otter John – PAID & PRIORITIZED – ‘Part 4’ draft complete. Story nearly complete!
2:

silverkitty - PAID & PRIORITIZED –preparing to start ‘Part 3’.
3:

leonXIII - Starting ‘Part 3’
4:

littlebeararnold - Revised ‘Part 1’ and sent ‘Part 2’ & ‘Part 3’ for approval.
5:

landonbay - Gathering information for initial draft

HOW TO COMMISSION YOUR STORY:
Rates for all story commissions are $50 with no word limit.

I am a versatile writer of ‘Slice of Life’, ‘Fantasy’, and/or ‘Science Fiction’ stories. Please send me a Private Message (PM) to claim a slot. Please note that I do ‘not’ do ‘Dark’, ‘Horror’, or ‘Tragedy’’. ‘Porn’ / ‘Nudity’ and/or ‘Adult Themes’ can be discussed. However, as I’ve tried all these genres to some extent, they are far from my comfort zone while not being what I can write with satisfactory success.

THOUGHTS FROM THE CHANGING TABLE:
The Since the last journal update, I have been deeply considering how I can best interact with the world around me. The following is a summary of my ill-fated attempts to vicariously live my lost life with eyesight through those closest to me…

***

Since losing all my eyesight at the end of 2016, I have selfishly tried to live vicariously through others to enjoy movies, shows, books, and video games.

The first time I let this get out of control was in 2019. My son, Peep, showed a strong interest in playing Doom: Eternal and he even insisted on playing it from start-to-finish with me sitting alongside him. Doom was a major influence for me during my teenage years. It became especially relevant when I learned how to use the DOS-based Doom Creation Kit (DCK) to create my own levels that I would test to ensure they were doable before having my friends give them a go. Being able to make genuine levels for such a big game, along with its medieval counterpart, Heretic, renewed my hope in, one day, being a part of video game development.

Back to Peep, he totally dominated Doom: Eternal in less than 48 hours! He seemed so excited and, because of this, I wasted no time in buying the DLC for the forthcoming expansion, The Ancient Gods[/i]. However, to my dismay, he had no interest in playing it.

Thinking Peep may like to play some of the other Doom games, I bought the Doom: Slayer’s Collection for him to play. It had the games I was so proud to have finished fairly on ‘Ultra Violence’, which were Ultimate Doom and Doom 2: Hell On Earth, along with Doom: 2016 and Doom 64. The cost for all of these was approximately the same as buying the DLC for The Ancient Gods collection, but it was barely touched and left me feeling empty for having assumed my son would want to play such games with me.

***

Peep asked me to help him buy Animal Crossing: New Horizons during Summer 2019. I was reluctant as, before Tina Bear left me, I had used Animal Crossing: New Leaf to try and get her to relax when she would normally just be all moody before bed. It worked, but my ex-wife wasted no time in letting me know how she didn’t really enjoy Animal Crossing shortly after she left me.

Well, hoping to turn over a ‘New Leaf’ myself, I agreed to buy him the digital copy of AC:NH. It was less than a month later that Peep told me that his friends, who said they were going to play it with him, did not do so. I asked if he would play it with me and he had already moved on to Apex: Legends.

***

I continued to feel myself falling out of touch with those things I enjoyed before losing all of my eyesight. Peep was also spending less time with me and more time, whether he wanted to, or not, with his mother. He no longer enjoyed going for walks with me and our shared game of Pokémon: Go! was turning into more of an annoyance than a fun Father / son activity.

***

Feeling like I was losing any relevance as Peep’s father while also being forced out of another job due to technology being ‘updated’ to where my text-to-speech / screen reading software made doing my Customer Service job impossible, I begged Peep to do some visual activities with me. This lead me purchasing Spyro: The Reignited Trilogy and Super Mario 3D All-Stars. The outcome was finding my son had no real interest in either and was trying to help me feel happy.

***

2021 was another year where, as I had yet to really get a clue after previous attempts, I tried investing in movies on ‘Prime Video’ and ‘Apple TV’ to watch with my son. We got through nearly all of Duck tales: 2017 first season, but he lost interest. This trned continued for other media I thought we could enjoy together that just was not meant to be.

***

2022 has been the year where I FINALLY understand that there is no ‘going back’ to what was before I lost all of my physical eyesight. I even made the mistake of trying to get ‘Papa Lucca’ to play video games that I selfishly acquired for him to play without genuinely considering if he would really want to play them.

***

What have I gained from coming to terms of how my life must be now that I am totally blind? The knowledge that I could really save a lot of money by NOT investing in those things I require someone else to serve as a proxy in order for me to enjoy them. Papa Lucca has found lots of fun shows that are free with our ‘Basic level’ streaming subscriptions to enjoy and I am content not bullying him to play Animal Crossing: New Horizons in any other way than exactly what he wants to play it.

So, going forward, any extra money I can get from story writing, genuine employment, etc. will be put towards the following…

1: Diapers – Not a surprise as I have truly found wearing them helps me reduce a lot of the psychological stress that can build from overthinking those things I really should not be putting so much time and energy into.

2: Home Remodeling – Papa Lucca has been doing great in modifying the house to be one we can both feel happy with. He is using wonderful colors to bring out our plush collections while ensuring our bond is equally noticeable in those rooms that we most frequent. (I may not be able to physically see what Lucca is doing, but I definitely ‘see’ through his words / descriptions.).

3: Outdoor Fun – Papa Lucca is with me on putting a small pond in our yard to coax ducks, along with other birdy buddies, to be a part of our little plot of land.

4: Upcoming Repairs – It is likely we will need a new roof in the next 5 to 10 years. We also want to remodel the attic to be an extra room for someone to possibly stay in.

5: Random & Relevant Merch – There are a few My Little Pony: Fairy Tails Birds I would like to get for display in our shared collection. I also want to help Lucca, when able, to get back some of those treasures he had unfairly lost due to circumstances beyond his control while working to pursue a life free of emotional abuse.

Thanks for reading! Have a ducky of a day!

Your Pal,

---Yosh E. O’Ducky 😉

9 Comments | View Journal

Commission Status & Big Life Update 2 / 2

Posted 3 years ago

Hamha!

Here’s what’s new in story commissions and all things dino-duckling!

----
CURRENT STORY COMMISSIONS:
1: Otter John – PAID & PRIORITIZED – Beginning ‘Part 3’ of the story
2:

silverkitty - PAID & PRIORITIZED –preparing to start ‘Part 3’ of the story
3:

leonXIII - Updating ‘Part 1’ and starting ‘Part 2’
4:

littlebeararnold - Revising ‘Part 1’ and starting ‘Part 2’.
5:

landonbay - Gathering information for initial draft

HOW TO COMMISSION YOUR STORY:
* Current rates are $15 per 1,000 Words
* No extra charge if I go over in my own effort to ensure a quality story

I am a versatile writer of ‘Slice of Life’, ‘Fantasy’, and/or ‘Science Fiction’ stories. Please send me a Private Message (PM) to claim a slot. Please note that I do ‘not’ do ‘Dark’, ‘Horror’, or ‘Tragedy’’. ‘Porn’ / ‘Nudity’ and/or ‘Adult Themes’ can be discussed. However, as I’ve tried all these genres to some extent, they are far from my comfort zone while not being what I can write with satisfactory success.

THOUGHTS FROM THE CHANGING TABLE:
Exposing myself to being vulnerable through an unleashing of emotions.

Being so new to the world that all your basic needs must be taken care of by someone far bigger than you and has you at their complete mercy is both endearing and frightening at the same time. This is why I feel it best to go into the second part of this big life update using time on the changing table to best share my most recent revelations.

We protect ourselves from those who would judge us through appearing as we have been taught to present ourselves in particular social settings. The clothes we wear are perhaps the most tangible way to physically manifest how we try to be unique when we are continuously being told what we should and should not be while in the company of others.

The time we are least expected to concern ourselves with our appearance is between when we are born until we start into preschool. This is also when we have the least amount of say in our lives and must trust others to not do us wrong when we are at our most vulnerable.

From being identified as needing a diaper change until having been cleaned, strapped into a fresh diaper, and put to where you once were, or wherever you may need to be, your physical and psychological well-being is in the hands of someone much taller and stronger than you are.

Thankfully most mothers, fathers, caretakers, etc. have only your best interests in mind as they strip away the layers of clothing covering up the thick garment in which you shamelessly released those things your body had deemed toxic to itself. It did not matter to you how long and/or how much of the undesirable substances were kept to yourself thanks to the diaper’s snug fit coupled with its adaptability to take in and retain all that your body needed to get out.

This is now where we are able to make the correlation to having your diaper changed as a baby / toddler to coping with those bothersome feelings, memories, traumas, etc. we need to get out, but do not have the luxury of a diaper and caretaker to release and allowed to move on as if nothing icky ever happened at all.

***

I’ve felt a lot of fear for how I’ve felt a strong connection to content aimed towards ‘The Diaper Demographic’. The idea of being able to playfully go about your day free of being judged adversely for what you did, how you did it, and who you did it with. Everything was just so bright, positive, diverse, and treated with tender loving care.

Most recently, thanks to Papa Lucca, I was able to experience the animated series, Birdz like I had never had before. His descriptions of Mr. Nuthatch, a 45 year old man who clings to youth to cope with his anxiety and depression, Papa Lucca gave me brought about a self realization that I now share below.

There is nothing wrong with allowing yourself to be as needy and vulnerable to someone else if physical and/or psychological limitations genuinely prevent you from tending to them yourself.

Papa Lucca has been beyond patient in putting up with my time consuming, mess making, and overall stubborn attitude of feeling like less of a person for needing as much help as I do to live a fulfilling life without physical eyesight.

For as long as I can remember, I was pushed to be “independent” even though the world we live in continues to grow more-and-more reliant on the use of vision to interact with it. Where once it was 50% of how humans went about day-to-day activities, the current technology driven society we live in has usable eyesight being needed to participate at approximately 80%! Add in the rapid pace of technology being released, which does not allow for testing and updating systems to enable individuals with little, or no, eyesight to interact with them, the social teachings of accumulating wealth without regard to others, and enacted laws, rules, and regulations that are easily shirked by organizations listed in the ‘Fortune 500’ that are supposed to benchmark behavior to all levels of manufacturing and/or service industries and you have a recipe for dismissing those who are not a part of the optimal profit margin’s that solely cater to the status quo.

So, rather than fighting a battle I cannot win, I am going to step to the side, watch what makes me feel happy, where what makes me feel comfortable, do what I can do to help myself and others, and stop feeling shame over having to ask others, like Papa Lucca, for help completing those things I either cannot ideally complete, or would take me far, far longer to do just to prove I can do something that does not matter on the grand scheme of things.

Thank you all for your time, patience, and support. Like Mr. Nuthatch in ‘Episode 10’ of Birdz, I’m going to make sure my diapers are comfortably in place as I fly off to do what I can do without giving a HOOTHOOT about what the ignorant masses stuck ‘Inside The Box’ believe to be what determines my success and self worth.

Your Pal,

---Yosh E. O’Ducky 😉

4 Comments | View Journal

Commission Status & Big Life Update 1 of 2

Posted 3 years ago

Hamha:

Here’s what’s new in story commissions and all things dino-duckling!

----
CURRENT STORY COMMISSIONS:
1: Otter John – PAID & PRIORITIZED – Updated ‘Part 1’ and sent ‘Part 2’ draft for review.
2:

silverkitty - PAID & PRIORITIZED – Finished ‘Part 2’ and preparing to start ‘Part 3’.
3:

leonXIII - Updating ‘Part 1’ and starting ‘Part 2’
4:

littlebeararnold - Revising ‘Part 1’ and starting ‘Part 2’.
5:

landonbay - Gathering information for initial draft

THOUGHTS FROM THE CHANGING TABLE:
Exposing myself to being vulnerable through an unleashing of emotions.

It’s been great feeling more ‘positive’ and ‘motivated’ over the past two weeks. Unfortunately all the optimistic determination has not provided me a quality solution to still being unemployed and no longer receiving Unemployment Compensation benefits.

The story commissions have proven to be the most enjoyable job I’ve had in a very long time. Helping bring your ideas to life through my talent for writing makes my feathers all tingly from how good I feel throughout the entire process of development, drafting, and finalizing each tale. The downside is that I spend a lot of time on these stories and, without any hope of outside income on behalf of myself, I may need to raise my rates to $25 per 1,000 words with a maximum of $50 to complete stories that are tending around 2,500 words.

If I could make $300 per month doing story commissions, I would be able to ensure Lucca and I are in good financial standing while being able to rid myself of the burden of finding a job in the public, or private sector. It is thinking about needing to find a job that requires me to work beyond a safe walking distance from home that stresses me out.

The reasons finding non-commission work is anxiety inducing is as follows…
1: Reliance on other services and/or people to get to and from the workplace.

2: Excessive costs in using public transportation that is not as flexible as today’s employers need their employees to be.

3: Despite meeting, or exceeding, all job requirements, it is more likely than not to learn during, or after, interviewing for the job that my total lack of physical eyesight prevents me from performing the position due to adaptive tools and technology being insufficient to properly perform one, or more, key job duties. (Legally Blind does not apply exclusively to individuals with no physical eyesight. One can even still legally attain a driver’s license and independently drive when they are determined to be ‘Legally Blind’. This makes the Americans With Disabilities Act (ADA) very flexible towards private and public employers in meeting ADA requirements.).

4: Most software systems used to perform the job’s of today are customized modifications of ‘Out of the Box’, third-party software developed systems. These systems are provided for corporate and/or government use often without proper testing for accessibility with commonly used software systems along with ‘Magnification / High Contrast’ and ‘Text to speech’ software. (It says a lot when your boss tells you how “…We no longer live in a time where we can properly test software before it is rolled out…”. If software developers are failing to ensure compatibility of their systems with more than one potential end user environment, they are certainly not ensuring those with visual disabilities are able to positively interact with their technology. This is especially bothersome when a software package starts out being accessible to ‘Text to Speech’, or ‘Magnification / High contrast’ tools and then updates to become incompatible.).

5: The inability for me to comprehend ‘Non-Verbal Cues’ tends to annoy coworkers who feel I should be understanding what someone is trying to share beyond the words and vocal inflection that I must rely on for day-to-day interactions. These people tend to not let me know when I misunderstood what they really meant and will lash out about it upon reaching a breaking point that I did not know I was pushing them towards.

The above is why I would most ideally like to live a simple life doing $50 story commissions. It is a lot easier to interact one-on-one with someone to achieve a goal that is mutually beneficial to both of us. The alternative is hoping what I’m doing with an employer, who has typically never worked with a blind person before, does not abruptly decide that what I do and how I do it is a burden upon themselves and those I work directly and indirectly with.

Papa Lucca and I have been looking into Government Assistance Programs, but they seem to believe I am making too much money with my Social Security Disability Income (SSDI) benefits while generating false numbers regarding my papa’s monthly income. (After months of effort, I found I was not eligible for a benefit that, unbelievably, I just got a letter last week from the government assistance entity that said I was financially eligible for benefits. Papa Lucca is going to help me clear this up once-and-for-all.).

If I knew I could make a minimum of $300 doing story commissions each month, I’d be happy in knowing I would no longer need to worry nearly as much about jumping through hoops that are improperly handled by those who are supposed to be responsible for them. Until then, I’m going to further simplify my life and share how I’m easing my mind in a forthcoming update.

Your Pal,

---Yosh E. O’Ducky 😉

4 Comments | View Journal

Commission Updates & Status - 07/23/2022

Posted 3 years ago

silverkitty - PAID & PRIORITIZED – Finished ‘Part 1’ and preparing to start ‘Part 2’.
3:

leonXIII - Beginning First Draft
3:

littlebeararnold - Drafted ‘Revising ‘Part 1’ and starting ‘Part 2’.
4:

LittleBearArnold - Developing Story Outline
5:

landonbay - Developing Story Outline

FINISHED STORY COMMISSIONS:
Thought it about time I provided links to all the works I’ve done for those interested in making a story with me.

A No Mess Success
SFW: General – Light Baby Fur / Little Themes
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/48061114/

The Naked Truth
NSFW: Mature – Nudity with Adult Themes
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47956571/

A Toddler Time & Place
SFW: General – Mild Baby Fur / Little Themes
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47902918/

An Out of Berdly Adventure: Fanfiction Characters From - ‘Undertale’ / ‘Delta Rune’
NSFW: Mature – Adult Themes and Nudity
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47666775/

0 Comments | View Journal

Commission Status - (All Slots Filled!)

Posted 3 years ago

Hamha:

Here’s what’s new in story commissions and all things dino-duckling!

----
CURRENT STORY COMMISSIONS:
1: Otter John – PAID & PRIORITIZED - Finalizing Summary of Story
2:

silverkittie - PAID & PRIORITIZED – Starting First Story
3:

leonXIII - Beginning First Draft
3:

littlebeararnold - Started Development
4:

LittleBearArnold - Developing Story Outline
5:

landonbay - Developing Story Outline

3 Comments | View Journal

Commission Status & Big Life Update

Posted 3 years ago

Hamha:

Here’s what new in story commissions and all things dino-duckling!

----
CURRENT STORY COMMISSIONS:

leonXIII - Beginning First Draft
2: Otter John – Finalizing Summary of Story, Characters, Places, and Plot
3:

littlebeararnold - Started Development
4: (Open)
5: (Open)

LIFE UPDATES:
Okay. The time has come to put 120% into my talent as a writer to make a modest living. Papa Lucca has provided me encouragement and, with all the difficulty in finding employment in the private and public sectors, I’m going to give my all to make something really work with my talents as an author.

Right now, to build business, I’m charging a fairly low price for my work in an effort to build a genuine reputation. I’m hopeful to prove worthy of asking $25 per 1,000 words to better offset the amount of time and effort I put into ensuring a quality tale for those who kindly commission me.

***

I’ve had to embrace the concept of distancing myself from contacts that are not online. The reason is how I’ve experienced a pretty consistent record for being mistreated, ignored, undervalued, and viewed as an inconvenience by others.

The more that I’ve returned my attention to people online, the more positive I have felt towards myself. I feel more capable of being the partner Papa Lucca needs from me while also grateful to be able to step away from so many situations that kept me stuck in a vicious cycle of depression and anxiety.

I have really and truly done all I know to do in order to show that I’m more than my physical limitation of being 100% blind. It just seems that our world is not ready for the severely disabled to play an actual part in it beyond being kept out of sight and out of mind. I really and truly hope all that I’ve done through my efforts in employment and with Coping With Limitations Through The Pony, along with whatever I may be able to successfully involve myself with in the future, prove that people, like myself, should be taken a lot more seriously despite the accepted status quo that remains in place for individuals afflicted with physical and/or psychological disabilities.

***

There is a lot I have planned to bolster my self-esteem and self-worth while also ensuring I do all that is possible to be the partner that my papa Lucca needs.

Thank you all for your support as I do what is needed to return to being more active in the world. One’s place may not be in the one they hoped, or even been expected by others, to be where they should be. However, as long as we all strive for what makes us happy, positive, and productive to ourselves and those around us, our success can still be achieved despite the perceived impossibility to contribute to this little world of ours.

Your Pal,

---Yosh E. O’ducky 😉

10 Comments | View Journal

Open Commission & Life Updates

Posted 3 years ago

Hamha!

COMMISSION STATUS:
1:

silverkitty - Pending
2:

leonXIII - Pending
3:

landonbay - Pending
4: (Open)
5: (Open)

COMMISSION INFORMATION:
$15 for every 1,000 words. (Most of my commissions tend to round out at about 2,000 words. I do ‘not’ actively keep track of the number of words used. What makes me proud to be paid to write is delivering a quality tale that lives up to, or exceeds, the commissioner’s expectations. If the work goes over by 100, 200, or even 300 words, I will not ask for additional money as a quality work is more important to me than being nitpicky in a way that is detrimental to the overall story.).

Send me a Private Message (PM) if you’d like to talk about having me write a story for you.

WHAT’S UP DUCK?
My final week of unemployment benefits has come and gone. There are no potential employment opportunities and my Bureau of Blindness & Visual Services (BBVS) Vocational Rehabilitation Counselor (VRC) has just been taken off my case. The good news is that he is still going to be working for BBVS and he will be replaced by my original VRC who, after over a year of recovery from being in a major car accident, will be adding me back to her caseload. The bad news is that all pending activities for job hunting with assistance are on hold until the VRCs can swap case files.

Papa Lucca and I are continuing to do our commissions to make ends meet. We are also finding more ways to save on food, energy, and other expenses. We have also been looking into available programs to help individuals, like myself, who struggle to succeed due to having a profound physical and/or psychological disability.

Your Pal,

---Yosh E. O’Ducky 😉

6 Comments | View Journal

Story Commission Status & Ducky Updates

Posted 3 years ago

Hamha!

COMMISSION STATUS:
1:

bobcatsrule - Preparing Rough Draft
2:

silverkitty - Pending
3:

leonXIII - Pending
4:

landonbay - Pending
5:

COMMISSION INFORMATION:
$15 for every 1,000 words. (Most of my commissions tend to round out at about 2,000 words. I do ‘not’ actively keep track of the number of words used. What makes me proud to be paid to write is delivering a quality tale that lives up to, or exceeds, the commissioner’s expectations. If the work goes over by 100, 200, or even 300 words, I will not ask for additional money as a quality work is more important to me than being nitpicky in a way that is detrimental to the overall story.).

Send me a Private Message (PM) if you’d like to talk about having me write a story for you.

WHAT’S UP DUCK?
Papa Lucca was super-special awesome for watching Birdz with me! He told me some very interesting details about Mr. Nuthatch that I had not been aware of before. This really changes me and my psychological relationship with the 45 year old who wears an eggshell upon his head like a hat. (I’ll be writing more on this when I am able to post the rest of ashleighfoxkit’s ‘Birdz: Reboot’ update art.).

More on my cutie-patootie of a papa, I have experienced quite a epiphany about how and where I should be going with my life. I’ll be sharing more about these life adjusting revelations in upcoming journals.

May all have a most wonderful day! Thanks for being there for me and my papa!

Your Pal,
yosh-e-oicon
---Yosh E. O’Ducky ;)

0 Comments | View Journal

YLT Story Commission Status & Life Updates

Posted 3 years ago

Hamha!

COMMISSION STATUS:
1: nishi

nishi - Complete
2: tacki

tacki - Complete
3: nishi

nishi - Complete
4:

silverkitty - Discussing Story Outline
5:

COMMISSION INFORMATION:
$15 for every 1,000 words. (Most of my commissions tend to round out at about 2,000 words. I do ‘not’ actively keep track of the number of words used. What makes me proud to be paid to write is delivering a quality tale that lives up to, or exceeds, the commissioner’s expectations. If the work goes over by 100, 200, or even 300 words, I will not ask for additional money as a quality work is more important to me than being nitpicky in a way that is detrimental to the overall story.).

Send me a Private Message (PM) if you’d like to talk about having me write a story for you.

WHAT’S UP DUCK?
Unsuccessful in job search. So will be losing my unemployment compensation benefits after next week. This will make finances tight until employment, or another means of acquiring stable income can be acquired. Lucca and I can get through this and I am already working on strategies to make myself employable despite the growing number of ‘Barriers to Entry’ I keep uncovering in which prevent someone with zero physical eyesight from gaining and retaining gainful employment.

***

The return of my commission works, lovingly referred to as Yosh’s Little Tales, has increased my overall motivation to attain personal and professional success. I foresee additional progress towards catching up on content created by friends, engaging in trades, and writing for pure fun to come as new routines / time management come to fruition.

***

The creation of my female OC, Celeste Nuthatch, has been a total success thanks to my Papa Partner, Lucca. There is still a lot to flesh out with Celeste, but the real me is starting to tackle some really major psychological traumas that have haunted me for way too long. (Lucca is an amazingly patient papa given what a cluster-duck I’ve found myself to be as a result of being so naïve to realities I’ve blinded myself to.).

Your Pal,

---Yosh E. O’Ducky ;

2 Comments | View Journal

Opening Story Commissions

Posted 3 years ago

hOI!!!!

I’ve been feeling quite in need of motivation to continue my ongoing quest for employment. It is for this reason that I am opening myself up to do story commissions!

*** STORY COMMISSION OPTIONS & RATES ***
To help make this more fun for all those who are interested, I am creating a few different ‘Your Character Here (YCH) options along with the traditional ‘Your Story Done Your Way’

Adventures in Sunnybrook Park:
$10 per 1,000 words
SAMPLES: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/43366524/

My Little Pony & Friends Through The Generations
$10 per 1,000 words

SAMPLE 1 –Yosh’s Adventures In Blindness (Celestia’s Chosen thru Canine Crossroads) : https://www.furaffinity.net/view/25387800/

SAMPLE 2 – Beyond Canine Crossroads (Post Twilight’s Ascension): https://www.furaffinity.net/view/38772796/

SAMPLE 3 – Other Worldly Adventures: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/26094086/

Custom Story
$15 per 1,000 word
After 2,000 words, $10 per each additional 1,000 wordss
SAMPLE - https://www.furaffinity.net/view/37728785/

HOW TO COMMISSION:
Send me a Private Message (PM) to claim a spot. I will be using forthcoming journals to show completion progress on all active commissions. All payments are done through PayPal.

Thank you for your time and interest. I look forward to keeping myself motivated through making more stories for all those who have wanted one, or more, in which have been written with my unique style. Please do not hesitate to ask me questions through PMs.

Your Pal,

---Yosh E. O’Ducky ;)

9 Comments | View Journal

A Lost & Sad Little Duckling (Journaling)

Posted 3 years ago

OPTIONAL MELODY:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gBXKcdHyb0
(Thought this would be better to go with this ‘Current Feelings Journal’ than Happiness In Slavery, or Wish by Nine Inch Nails. Both of the non-Berdly songs, which both are from the Broken album, tend to reflect my feelings of frustration and how I have unpleasant feelings towards my overall future when I get too far from the Yosh & Celeste parts of my ‘Mental Health Defense System’.).

POSITIVES FIRST:
Writing negatives is more for my Journaling / Self-Therapy and need not be read.

1: Lucca and I are doing great together! He is a really great partner who never seems to run out of ways in which we can improve on both are shared and individual lives. He has also helped me to work myself off an anti-anxiety medication that I no longer need, but had become addicted to. It is hoped that I will be able to be completely off the medication by the end of the year.

2: Lucca has helped me to see just how much I have allowed myself to be controlled / manipulated by people. These individuals are the ones that have used various forms of passive-aggressive, shaming, and/or disappointment whenever I have done things in my own best interest in which they do not agree with. (Critique and individual opinion’s are okay. However, I draw the line at being talked down to, ignored, blamed, etc. for matters in which cause no harm to myself, those around me, and/or imply that I am the direct cause of negative events that I have no direct control over.).

3: I feel the creative fires of inspiration returning to my heart and soul. I no longer feel like I have to force myself to write stories, comment on the work of others, etc. This should allow me to really make some progress after, what has been, over a year-long fight against depression.

WHAT MAKES A DINO-DUCKLING THROW A TANTRUM:
You can stop reading now…

1: The job opportunity with the city, which I was officially hired for and set to start back on February 24th of this year, has completely fallen through. (Additional tests for my ability to perform the job and work with the city’s third-party software ended on May 5th with an ‘Accessibility Technology Specialist (AT)’ being hired by ‘Blindness & Visual Services (BBVS)’ to come into the workplace to determine how I could successfully perform the position of [u]Part-Time Receptionist[/b]. However, upon review, the AT found that the volume of in-person customers, hand-written documents, and volume of other documents that are physical and not electronic was too great to perform given current existing tools for individuals who are 100% blind.).to

2: 16 years of being bullied, misunderstood, underappreciated, and being ”…Our first blind hire…” has me Strongly questioning if there is any job opportunity out there that I can do that supplements, or safely exceeds, receiving Social Security Disability (SSDI). (I know that I have ways in which I can contribute to the world and those around me. The issue is that I do not, nor can genuinely figure out, an ethical way to be paid for what I do best and find myself frequently being told I should find a career in.).

3: It has become painfully obvious that I am less than capable, largely due to issues with ease-of-use for someone who is 100% blind, of maintaining a house. There are just too many important aspects of home ownership that either take way too long to even attempt with any degree of success in which someone with eyesight could perform more successfully in a fraction of the time, or simply have no workarounds in which someone who is without physical eyesight can perform. (Lucca has taken on a number of these tasks to help ensure the overall integrity of the house. This has had the unfortunate side effect of taking away from the time he would be spending on commission work that helps support us financially.).

4: I am really struggling to find activities / interests in which do not require someone else in order to enjoy them. Most notably is playing video games. Finding someone who genuinely wants to play a game for me is next to impossible. (Before my eyesight was lost forever in 2016, I was able to play some games with the aid of super-magnified glasses and pink / rose-colored filters to reduce the impact of a lifetime of treatments, surgeries, and appointments in the attempt to retain some degree of vision against the incurable eye disease, Glaucoma.).

5: Finding ways to enjoy what I would like to enjoy without having to make someone else feel like my proxy / feel as if I am living vicariously through them is causing me to think of how worthwhile it is to try and pursue any interest in which I cannot 100% tangibly interact with that has no need for physical eyesight. (I’ve wasted more money than I would like to admit on things that made ‘me’ feel happy that became sources of sadness due to how I need someone else in order to truly experience in the way I would like to.).

6: Peep is spending more-and-more time with his mom. His mom does not work over the summer and has plans to take him to various places over the course of the summer. I am not able to do much of anything with, or for, my son beyond keeping his room available for when he may wish to have friends over. (Peep has not really shown a lot of interest in having his friends over for gaming, sleepovers, etc. since the house was purchased by my mother and I. This has a short-term benefit of allowing Lucca and I to reclaim the ‘Master Bedroom’ we gave him to use for when he had friends over. The long-term loss is how, since his mother left me in 2018, I have felt less-and-less a worthwhile part of his life.).

CONCLUSION:
I have really just felt like I’m an obsolete human being who has nothing worthwhile to work towards, feel excited about, or even offer to the ever-growing world we live in where eyesight is needed in order to participate without burdening someone else. What’s the point of aspiring for anything when all it takes is nobody being interested in what you are aspiring for to make it all a worthless waste of time?

Lucca has really done a great job of being there for me despite how much of a burden I feel I am to him. There is so much I would like to do to show Lucca my appreciation for his love as my ‘Papa’. Unfortunately you need money to do those things in which will empower yourself and those you are significantly bonded to. Five weeks from today, I will not be getting the financial benefit of Unemployment Compensation. Getting another job is feeling more-and-more impossible and I know my talents as a writer are nowhere where they would need to be in order to make up for this loss of income through opening story commissions. (I also have no notable reputation as an writer with most of my written works going unread with no feedback to show for the time it takes me to write entirely through the use of blind-friendly, screen-reading software. It also doesn’t help how less than a handful of people have really read those works I invested a lot of time and money in order to show my gift for writing.).

I’ll get over myself more sooner-than-later thanks to this journal. I only share these as there may be someone else out there who feels like there is nothing worth feeling happy about, but does not know how to express themselves. Knowing you can relate with someone is one of the first steps towards pushing back against all that psychologically brings you down.

May all be well and know that, no matter what, I will be doing my best to find something to keep myself from giving up on doing all I can to make something of my life.

Your Pal:

---Yosh E. O’Ducky ;)

24 Comments | View Journal

Thank You! - All's Quackers

Posted 3 years ago

Hamha:

Thanks to everyone for your kind support! The $70 has been raised and I can now safely pay the mortgage for the month.

***

I am feeling 100% better today. I did not realize how much sleep I had been losing due to the body aches and sinus pressure that plagued me for way too long. I expect the medication, along with Papa Lucca's love and support, to see me through to my PCP appointment this coming Monday.

***

With a clearer head, literally and figuratively, I can now proudly say that I am succeeding in breaking free of the anti-anxiety medication that my body had gotten itself addicted to! As this particular medicine stays active in the bloodstream for 72 hours, causes drowsiness, and how I needed 1 tablet per day for nearly 10 years, I am very eager to get back to only needing it when I need it. (Not taking it a minimum of once per day resulted in my lower-arms and lower-legs becoming numb the following day. This was often accompanied by dizziness and disorientation.).

***

The next opportunity to see how things may turn out for me with the job I was hired for back in February for, but cannot currently do as a result of technology not being compatible with my blind / screen reading software, will be on Thursday, May 5th. An 'Accessible Technology Specialist' (AT) will be coming in to fully evaluate both versions of the city's software system along with what can be done to ensure I have no trouble working with physical documentation.

Thankfully, as of right now, I have a possible temporary / internship opportunity along with the potential to speak on behalf of Accessibility & Diversity for the city lined up for the near future.

***

Many thanks to everyone for your help. I look forward to paying the kindnesses back while definitely paying them forward on behalf of how our 'little community' really is there and cares for each other.

[b][i]Your Pal,

---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)]/b]

7 Comments | View Journal

Fundraising / Surprise Expenses

Posted 3 years ago

hOI!!!!!

Thank you all for your help and support as Lucca and I work together to make up for some unforeseen expenses.

One of these expenses is my recently diagnosed sinus infection. I held off on seeing a doctor due to the cost of getting to-and-from the doctor. (Please remember to do all you can to maintain your physical eyesight. The cost of doing pretty much anything without eyesight increases exponentially.).

COLLECTABLE ITEMS FOR SALE:
Please share as I only need to make an additional $70 to catch up on debts accrued for caring for my Seeing Eye Dog and sinus infection.

POCKET DRAGON: And I Won’t Be Any Trouble…
pocket dragon and i wont be any trouble Real Musgrave Vintage Collectible | eBay

POCKET DRAGON: Hearts & Flowers
Pocket dragon hearts and flowers vintage collectible Real Musgrave | eBay

1 / 2 - ABDL ONESIE: odu rare retired design
adult baby one piece bodysuit odu rare retired design | eBay

1 / 2 - ABDL ONESIE: odu rare retired design
adult baby bodysuit odu retired rare item | eBay

POCKET DRAGON: Pocket Dragon Collector
Pocket dragon hearts and flowers vintage collectible Real Musgrave | eBay

*** DONATION LINK ***
https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/Yos.....locale.x=en_US

Thank you for your time and consideration. Now that I am recovering from over a week in sinus-infection yuck, I should have no trouble making sure I better play an equal part of me and Lucca’s future together.

Your Pal,

---Yosh E. O’Ducky ;)[/i]

4 Comments | View Journal

Levelling Up with Lucca / A Better Birdy

Posted 3 years ago

Hamha!

Things are progressing well for Lucca and I. There is still much to do, but we have more than enough time to do it.

The most notable part of having Lucca in my life is how he is so able to be open and honest without ever coming off like I am a burden. This is something I am not used to. I am used to having critiques that later resurface as a means to remind me of how flawed I am. Lucca is different. He may get annoyed by some of my less desirable quirks / blindisms, but is very quick in sharing with me how it is just a part of our relationship moving positively forward.

Yesterday was a particularly eventful day for our relationship. Lucca had taken a call where the individual was quite rude and condescending. This call ended fairly quickly with my beloved leo lover proclaiming, “I deserve to be treated better than that individual treated me! I will not accept being treated like a lesser person by anyone.”.

The above is a paraphrase, but it hit me like a coconut to the head. I realized that, for so many years, I have allowed people to treat me like a lesser person. I’ve allowed myself to accept that getting things done requires my nonstop calling, e-mailing, and waiting for outcomes that may never come at all.

As this all sunk in, I began to overthink on so much that has transpired over the past 10 years. How I’ve spent so much time bending over backwards in order to get what someone without my particular disability takes for granted.

Thanks to this self revelation, I asked Lucca if he would join me on my forthcoming call with my therapist this coming Thursday. I never realized how long I’ve allowed myself to be stuck on a plateau that was far more toxic to my mental health until Lucca made me aware through his statement. I now desire to build upon this revelation to improve upon the following…

1: Feeling a need to explain everything I do. (I lose so much time and energy from a terrible need to justify what I do and why I do it. This is making me lose out on time I could be writing stories, talking with friends, loving Lucca, etc. I simply must curtail this toxic habit. Especially as it can be annoying to anyone who, like all my close friends, do not require an explanation for every action I take. This insecurity must go.).

2: Not asking for help. (I have become so used to doing things for myself that I am now very stubborn when it comes to openly asking for aid that would save me time and frustration while also being respectful to those, like Lucca, who do ‘not’ judge me for needing assistance for those things that my blindness makes more difficult. Even if it is just finding a can of soda, locating an item I dropped on the floor, etc. I need to know that asking for ‘sighted assistance’ is not making me appear as less of a person.).

3: Allowing others to do things for me. (Going 100% blind has made me, for lack of better words, ‘sloppy’ when it comes to many daily activities. This includes cooking, eating, and cleaning up after a meal. I’ve really allowed myself to fear people treating me like a helpless infant when, in all honesty, there is no shame in someone providing assistance for such things that I just cannot reliably do without making a mess / additional work for others that could be easily be avoided if I just allowed someone else to do it in the first place.).

4: Self destructing to meet goals and standards that are not reasonable for me to complete given my physical limitation. (So much of the stress I put myself through is self-imposed. I have wanted to ‘fit in’ and ‘have relevance’ for so long that I have failed to realize just how much I need to just ‘be the best ducky I can be’. This lifelong desire to achieve unrealistic standards has been a major bane on my mental health. It has also made a lot of the previously mentioned points as bothersome to me as much as they are to those around me to become exponentially frustrating with each passing year I continue to set myself up for failure by living up to what I, for reasons that are beyond my control, are just not realistically possible.).

I look forward to introducing and exploring my new OC, ‘Celest Nuthatch’, as I further remove ,myself from feeling like a lesser person. Lucca is the best boyfriend I could have ever asked for and I love him for his patience in getting me to become a better birdy.

Your Pal:

---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)

17 Comments | View Journal

Life Remodeling / Welcome, Papa Lucca!

Posted 3 years ago

hOI!!!!!

My boyfriend, Lucca, has been living with me at our nest for nearly 2 weeks now. However, I have been super-duper slow in keeping up with all my pals. So, for now, here is a quick journal to share some highlights thus far...

***

1: Lucca has immense inspiration and commitment to all those goals he sets out to complete. Our nest has changed so much in the time since he has arrived and gee-golly-gosh kazootles has it been for the better. Papa just tells me what would help make things better, we talk about it, and we do it.

2: My new character, Celest Nuthatch, has proven very helpful in properly accepting my total loss of physical eyesight. Celest, to those not familiar with her, is my 'feminine side' that I have never been able to explore for countless reasons since I knew I was more like a lady back in 1998. 'Papa Lucca' has helped to flesh out little Celest in a way that allows my RL self to know how to better accept just how much help I genuinely need to live and thrive in a world built around physical eyesight. If I feel sad about my real life lack of physical eyesight, I just imagine myself as little Celest and how she needs her Papa to help do those things that she is just not old enough, tall enough, or smart enough yet to do. This takes a lot of the negative feelings away that normally come from feeling 'babied' by people while I'm out and about doing what I can to function despite my disability.

3: Lucca and I have modified 2 of the upstairs rooms to meet our respective needs for sharing our interests, getting a good night's sleep, padding up, and performing our hobbies / jobs. This has made it hard for me to get on the computer and use the screen reader to do much of anything. However, I feel best when active and even more so when Papa Lucca helps me feel a part of projects, like installing storm doors, which Mrs. O'Ducky was not quite able to do without the help of a smart Papa and an ever-ready toddling nuthatch who requires a tad more guidance to be as useful as she wants to be.

4: Celest Nuthatch is going to be showing up in my forthcoming works as much, if not more, than Yosh E. O'Ducky. This is because Papa Lucca has been beyond supportive in allowing me to be all I know I can be without the fear of shame, sadness, etc. You'll often see Celest when it comes to expressing my loving, caretaking, and super-duper helper side. Yosh will remain everyone's favorite dino-duck hybrid who is ever the delightfully naive source of Nishi / Oxnard's mischief along with one of the delightful 'Toon Loons' from the Adventures In Sunnybrook Park series of stories.

5: Getting back to my original works, which include Haposaurs, Project: Ezil, Silmaria, and even Further Realms: Creative Campaign is less of a priority until Lucca and I finish a majority of the projects Mrs. O'Ducky started along with developing each region of our nest to feel like it has 'personality' over being 'drab'.

***

Thank you all for your time and patience as Papa Lucca and I work to make our nest the best nest ever! Getting Mrs. O'Ducky to not be so Eeyore about almost everything has been rough, but she is coming along and finding her motivation to finish those projects she's started while making more effort to spend time with the friends she has made in the area.

Your Pal,

---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)

22 Comments | View Journal

Compliance & Determination - (Background Noise)

Posted 3 years ago

Hamha,

First, if you may have missed my most recent submission, I want to officially share how Lucca and I are officially in a relationship! I can hardly wait to have him move in with me so that I can snuggle and cuddle out all the darling, cutie patatootie schmubby-wubby adorableness I’ve been saving up. *Blushes while excitedly flapping his arms at his sides and waddling in place*.
lucca

lucca

yosh-e-o
Now, as it is also worth sharing, the current insanity regarding my employment status! (Abridged as best as a big-beaked, dino-duckling can make abridged.).

1: First day of work was on Wednesday, February 23rd, 2022. However, I am not 100% considered an employee as of yet…

2: I was to work from 8:30 AM until 11:30 AM to see the status of usability of the software system my employer had. It took less than five minutes to find that the system in use has zero ability to work with the JAWS Screen Reading Software. (JAWS has been around to help the visually impaired with the operation of computers for over 20 years. Unfortunately, as has become the norm, companies are not building modern software with usability for the visually impaired, or for those who are 100% blind.).

3: Most corporate software is web-based, or intranet. So I did use the default system of ‘Microsoft Edge’ and followed up with a test of software accessibility with ‘Google Chrome’. Both systems had the same results of zero compatibility with the JAWS Screen Reading Software. (For those who are curious, making something usable by a screen reader user, like me, requires that fields are internally labelled, buttons are internally labelled, and all text is provided without anything image-based and/or requires a mouse to interact with.).

4: To verify the JAWS Professional put on the work system was not experiencing issues post install, I visited ‘Amazon.com’ and ‘Pennsylvania Unemployment’. These sites both were fully functional and responsive to all command keystrokes that allow a visually-impaired, or 100% blind person, to interact with the web-based content. (Basically, provided all major regions of a web-site / web app are coded to name themselves beyond the text outside of the region, the ability to complete a given task, or series of tasks, through using only the keyboard. FUN FACT: If you are someone who prefers to do as much activity on a computer that you can without having to stop to move the mouse, you would like online and offline systems that allow for total keyboard functionality. So, more simply, if a person who is not legally blind is able to use keyboard keys, such as [TAB], to move from step-to-step until the desired operation is complete, the system is already 80% usable by someone who relies on ‘Screen Reading Software, like JAWS, to achieve the same results.).

5: Given nothing could be done to learn the software component of my new job, the HR Rep and I talked about how someone who is 100% blind is able to read specific documents in which someone may bring in to pay bills, request information etc.

6: Discussed risks of liability to the organization as a result of how, when someone is 100% blind, they must rely on technology that either digitally photographs physical documents to interpret what is written on them, or a ‘Sighted Assistant’ app is used that gives access to the aid viewing it to what may contain sensitive information. (The HR Rep did mention how just about anyone could take the opportunity to copy banking information from a check, personal information from a document, etc. after a customer leaves. However, despite the truth in how we ignorantly forget how vulnerable we leave our private information each and every day, it is more likely that someone noticing my use of a digital device to be a way to engage in illicit activities.).

7: Given how there were now more questions than answers about my ability to perform the job successfully, we decided to not fill out the ‘I9’ and ‘W4’ forms. This means that I am not officially on the company payroll and that, despite being hired, I am in a kind ‘Holding Pattern’ until those who help me in acquiring employment and/or the employer can further discuss what to do in order for me to be successful in the role I was hired for. (Good news is that the HR Rep said that, even if I do not get this position as a result to accessibility issues, they do want to find a place for me within the organization.).

So I’m currently still waiting for all the pieces to fall into place that will determine whether-or-not I will be starting work really-and-truly over being a sort of ‘Ghost Receptionist’ who is hired, but in a state of limbo due to technology that is either inaccessible, or poses a risk of breaching the privacy of those I would be interacting with.

UPDATE:
I’ve been trying to finish this journal for about a week, but have been needing to finish other things and stuff in which prevented me from getting it done until now. *Kushi Kushi*

It seems the software developer is willing to make their system JAWS Screen Reading Software accessible. The only problem that remains is being able to safely and efficiently handle physical documents that would be presented to me by customers and staff. The goal is to not rely on a Tablet, or Smart Phone. There are a few options, but I need to research more to see if they would be valid to what I need to do in performing my job duties.

In the meantime, I am still looking for new job opportunities to apply for while keeping all respective parties in the loop to ensure I maintain a professional image. After all, what kind of ‘Receptionist’ would I be if I did not clearly in a clear and timely manner?

I wish everyone well and am eager for life to give me a chance to take a comfy nap in a fresh diaper covered by a minky onesie while listening to the sound of bubbles against chiming classical music.

Your Pal,

---Yosh E. O’Ducky ;)

12 Comments | View Journal

Romancing The Duck / Companionship

Posted 4 years ago

Hamha!

As most of you know, my wife left me in the summer of 2018. She has been in 6 relationships with her current one seeming to be the one that will last.

As for me, I did not feel comfortable looking for a 'Special Some Pony', because I was still coming to terms with having lost all my physical eyesight, starting a new job that I only took to help our family during a time my, now ex-wife, would not have been able to work as a result of completing her Masters / Graduate Degree, and for how traumatized our son, Peep, was when he saw his entire world shatter into a million pieces.

***

Nearly 4 years have passed and, upon sorting things out about how I define myself in terms of success and happiness, I feel it time to see if anyone out there may be interested in sharing time, space, and cuddly companionship with me both on and off the internet.

***

Does anyone have any ideas how I may be able to best put myself out there to be considered someone's 'Special Some Pony'? I ask as, given the real me is 100% blind, many traditional ways of finding a companion are not very realistic. There is also the obvious matter of how my ex-wife made it constantly clear that she did not like the Yosh side of me and those whom I associated with who better express themselves through their creative and/or non-human personas.

***

Given my Peep is going to be 15 on the 19th, I am not looking to start a new family. I just want someone who enjoys my company, is comfortable with who and what I am on the inside and out, and enjoys being held, cuddled, and loved. We would not even need to share a room together as I respect how we all need space to be ourselves and not everyone wants to be around their special some pony all the time.

Put more simply, I would like someone who 'genuinely' likes me for me. Someone who would not use parts of who I am as 'Weapons of Constant Shaming'. Someone who likes having someone by their side while playing video games and watching television shows and movies.

Wanting / liking to wear and/or use diapers is not a deal breaker / turn off. Truth be told, I seldom felt an explicit need for padding when I had my wife to snuggle, love, care for, and share time with. I'd still be writing the stories and sharing the material that I do, but would not do anything IRL with diapers unless it is something my 'Special Some Pony' would want to do, too.

***

If anyone has any thoughts, ideas, resources, etc. I could use to, hopefully, find a companion to whom would not take advantage of my complete lack of physical eyesight, please let me know either in a comment, or PM.

It feels good to desire a companion again. The question now is if there is anyone out there who would be honest and true to a dino-duck butt who is more feminine than masculine, is 100% blind, and who is also more submissive than dominant...

Your Pal,

---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)

21 Comments | View Journal

Pending Job Offer -- Weekend Receptionist

Posted 4 years ago

hOI!!!!!

Determination has provided me the chance to speak with the HR Manager of a nearby retirement community that I had interviewed with at the beginning of December 2021. This was the first time we did not play some degree of 'Phone Tag' and, just like that, I was told to have the position of 'Part Time Weekend Receptionist' offered to me...

...When they can fully verify that the pressence of my 'Seeing Eye Dog' would not put the residents and/or guests in any danger / violate any state health regulations due to potential interactions with people who have dog allergies.

***

This is still a 'Win' for me as, without my beloved uri, I would be writing how I am employed again! Should it turn out that his shedding would result in disqualification, I still have a chance to find similar work that will become available in my area. (I'm trying to make it so that I do not need to rely on outside forces to get to and from work. Lots of businesses, along with much of the county's Civil Services are within a 2 mile radius. Walking up to 2 miles would be good for me and Uri while not, unless an emergency would occur, require me to be at the mercy of outside aid.).

Thank you all for your support! I hope to share more news soon!

Your Pal,

---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)

11 Comments | View Journal

Reflections On Depression & Moving Beyond It

Posted 4 years ago

Hamha:

Have you ever wondered why you may feel like not doing anything? Perhaps you have felt like you have fallen so far behind on spending time with friends that you do not even bother to try and catch up with anyone? If so, these are the terrible symptoms of ‘Depression’.

Depression works in a way that, without you being aware, pulls you away from all that makes you happy until it is too late. You will feel tired, unmotivated, and like a ‘bad friend’ for having been so negligent for so long to those you value most.

How do you get past depression? You start doing everything that you were not doing and do not feel compelled to do.

So the solution to the problem is to force yourself back into what brings you joy in life until the depression becomes ‘visible’ and, upon it being revealed, you continue to interact with friends, be there for family, engage in fulfilling activities, etc. until peace of mind is restored.

***

I’ve fought depression ever since 2007 when I developed the corneal ulcer that hyper-accelerated my descent into complete blindness. I’ve also been well aware of anxiety issues since 2003, which was when I was forced into my Graduate Degree / MBA despite the fears and warnings I had at pursuing additional education without real world experience.

***

Through therapy, I learned various techniques to help quell the nasty impact that anxiety and depression bring about when they fully consume your mind and body. The physical manifestation / psychosomatic pain combine their venomous powers to drive suicidal and homicidal ideations to feel like genuinely hurting yourself and/or others.

Unfortunately medication and awareness are not enough to ensure your safety from being overtaken by depression and/or anxiety. So you must be able to continually find ways to ‘synthesize happiness’ to push back all the negatives so you can work out what put you in such dire straits.

***

I was able to find a way to get my therapy sessions paid for until February, which starts in January. I’ve spoken with my therapist and will be focusing on a plan that allows me to build even stronger defenses against falling so deeply into depression. Thankfully, the last time I felt close to suicide was back in 2018 shortly after my wife decided our marriage was not worth fighting for. I’ve gone through more difficult times since she left, but my medication and methods have allowed me to dive so deeply into the abyss.

***

There may, in some cases, be no real end to having to recognize, push back, and update your mental health defenses to a newer version, but I wanted to share the above as I list what I’m going to do to help not fall into another oppressive depression that lasts over half the year.

1: Performing ‘Master Purge’ of Submissions Folder on FA. (I started my holiday visit a week ago with 1,130+ submissions and have waddled down to just under 800. I realize I will not be able to keep in good mental health knowing that, upon returning to my regular everyday ‘adulting’, I am in a situation where I just cannot positively get to all those posts I would have wanted to. So, to anyone wondering why I may have overlooked your submission for months, please know it is not personal as much as my effort to start 2022 with one less worry on my mind.)

2: Time has made me understand that all in which TB has done is nothing more than ‘Smoke & Mirrors’. Put more simply, if I was so terrible for liking diapers, diapered cartoons, etc., CYS / CPS would have already come. (A fun fact is that, should a minor be considered in danger, is how it must be reported in 48 hours. It has been nearly 2 weeks and, unless the therapist who TB got to get Peep to believe his mother’s POV wishes to have his credentials questioned for not following child safety protocols, he and she are doing nothing.).

3: By pure coincidence, Facebook recommended an article about AB / DLs to my mom! I got nervous when she started reading this aloud and realizing what it was she was reading. The result of this was her talking to her local therapist in my hometown and learning how she need not, nor anyone for that matter, worry about how ‘juvenile’ I am in order to help cope with life’s trials and tribulations.

4: Just before I came to these revelations, I happened upon the written work of

SillyLittleSnivy through a So Furry search. His stories reminded me of ‘why’ I write and ‘what’ I want to provide in my work that goes beyond its contributions to the Baby Fur / Furry community. Fortunately, I was able to find his account on DA that linked to his account on FA. Some stories, as I’ve been healing, I have read over multiple times to get myself motivated to do stories, such as those from over a year ago, once again. I also made sure that, given how

SillyLittleSnivy got me to remember ‘why’ I write, to leave as much feedback as I could on those stories he wrote that really got me to see my old self, how I could get it back, and how we authors of stories do make profound differences with our works. (Should you like to try some of his work, I would have to recommend ‘Due For A New Diaper’ and ‘Due For More Diapers’,, which focus on VULLABY, her MUZZARD mother, and a sweet and caring neighbor, SWANNA. There is also the tale of ‘Demoted To diapers’ that shows how it is okay for a kid to not be as ready as their friends to master the powers of training pants for the better interest of her mental health taking hit-after-hit for how her ‘Potty Chart’ looms as an ongoing reminder of failure to meet an expectation that, at present, she is not genuinely ready to meet. There is also a story about respecting others who may not have had such an easy time as you did in ditching your diapers in ‘Sylveon’s Cousin Conundrum’..

The common thread is that, despite fetish content being present, it takes a back seat to following thye proven method of solid storytelling of [Introduction To Problem] -> [Conflict] -> [Conflict Resolution] -> [Lesson / Character Development].).

5: I did not delete my Twitter account and I most certainly did not delete my posts. However, I will remain off of it until I feel I can safely manage it on top of FA and performing strategies to regain my Peep’s trust, detour my ex-wife from going on the offensive even if there was nothing I meant to say, or do, to make her feel the need to be so defensive.

***

WeThat’s the long-to-short as I ready to make 2022 120% cooler through either gaining new employment, or starting to collect unemployment benefits by the end of January. Next is to use new techniques to provide Peep with peace of mind from his fear of me being ‘mad’ and ‘not loving him’ for what he said to his therapist. (I’ve never been mad as much as hurt for how his mother interrogated him while solidifying her views in his head to where, more recently, he was repeating, almost verbatim, what she used and said against me during our marriage.)

So more follow-up with friends, distance from Facebook, Twitter, and other social media platforms I exist on, getting to work on stories that are more in my wheelhouse of abilities, and continuing to find ways in which I can create an even healthier relationship between myself, wearing diapers, and being in control of them over them being in control of me due to stress-based tensions.

Your Pal,

---Yosh E. O’Ducky ;)

10 Comments | View Journal

Cluster Ducked / Reason For Recent Silence

Posted 4 years ago

hOI!!!!!

I thought I would share what has been keeping me away from sharing and spending time with everyone. (Doing this makes me feel better as, currently, I am up to my beak in stuff and want to let everyone know that, upon more resolution, I am going to be commenting, replying, and posting once again.)

FALLOUT OF A BAD WEEKEND:
FRIDAY:
1: Mrs. O’ducky’s car is smashed in the parking lot while she was inside, with me, getting her COVID-19 booster.

2: I start feeling dizzy with cold sweats as a result of getting my COVID-19 booster the day before.

3: Insurance company fails to assist Mrs. O’Ducky, which results in no rental car.

4: Was called about scheduling a job interview while my phone was being used to take photos of the damage to Mrs. O’Ducky’s parked car.

SATURDAY:
1: Still feeling dizzy with cold sweats.

2: Insurance company still will not assist Mrs. O’ducky with moving the process along for getting her vehicle repaired while also giving no help for a rental car.

3: rental car company, under ‘Tribble’ management, avoids Mrs. O’Ducky’s ‘emergency distress signals’ and leaves us stranded with no ‘shuttle craft’ to go beyond our current location.

4: Plumbing starts to back up.

SUNDAY:
1: Still dizzy and cold sweaty. However getting better through making time for additional rest.

2: Nothing doable with insurance nor rental car as, well, it’s Sunday!

3: Plumbing backs up to the point that, even with plunging not doing the trick. Utilized drain cleaning solutions to attempt repair.

Monday
1: Mrs. O’Ducky FINALLY gets someone to get her auto insurance claim underway!

2: The ‘Tribble’ states they will rendezvous at our current location to provide a shuttle craft. This is said while insurance person is on the line. However the ‘Tribble’ uses incorrect ‘hailing frequency’ and reaches out to her home ‘solar system’ rather than the provided ‘frequency’ / ‘coordinates’.

3: Mrs. O’ducky was beamed up by next door neighbor’s ‘starship’ and taken to the rental car ‘space station’. Here they offered no aid, informed her of how they used an incorrect ‘hailing frequency’, and forced Mrs. O’ducky to return back without a ‘shuttle craft’.

4: Plumbing issue reaches point where toilet cannot be flushed without backup.

5: While out on a walk with my Seeing Eye Dog, I was sent a ‘text’ about my interest and availability for a follow-up interview. (Not really safe to do texting while operating a Seeing Eye Dog on busy city sidewalks.). When I returned home, one hour after getting the text, I responded and, as of now, still am waiting for a reply. (No local phone number was used with the text. It was one of those odd numeric codes that one typically gets when they receive an automatic message from a utility company, or a radio contest.).

6: While at pharmacy with Seeing Eye Dog, I am contacted by the employer who I left voicemails for that I missed as a result of photos being taken of Friday’s car accident. They added new job criteria I could not meet and, while crouched in some spot in the middle of the pharmacy, I completed an unsuccessful phone interview before returning to finish the transaction I was making at the counter

TODAY:
1: Plumber arrives and, along with finding certain items that Peep’s visiting hens should not ever be flushed down a toilet clogging the line, discovers a larger problem that requires $6,600 to repair.

2: ‘Tribbles’ stated they will be hailing Mrs. O’Ducky to acquire a rental car…

3: Informed the Unemployment Claim Appeal that I had made would, given ‘by-the-book’ rules, would not be successful. However I will be eligible on January 2nd as, at this time, the ‘Base Year’ will finally show enough ‘Credit Weeks’ to validate my UC Claim. (I was ‘financially’ eligible. However you need to have worked 18 weeks during the ‘Base Year’ and, given how the window for a ‘Base Year’ is calculated, I will FINALLY be eligible in Q1 2022.).

And, well, that’s about it. Thankfully, with today’s events, I feel tomorrow will start me on a track to relax and not feel so much like a ‘Mr. Nuthatch’.

Thanks for all your patience. I look forward to being more actively involved with you all more sooner than later.

Your Pal,

---Yosh E. O’Ducky ;)

6 Comments | View Journal

Making The Move

Posted 4 years ago

hOI!!!!!!!

It goes without saying that the past 5 months have been super ultra mega busy with far more ‘adulting’ than a padded dino duckling was ever ready to take on. (Good thing I’ve been wearing night diapers for my day diapers and doubling up the night pamps when I sleep. I’d be making a mess for the ages without such protection against all those things that just sneak up on you when you least suspect it.)

So, to keep it nice and simple, I share the following…
1: The move to the new house is in full swing with the old apartment now in the hands of my ex-wife.

2: I’ve acquired all resources, including internet service at home, to optimize upon my search for a new job.

3: I’m working to ensure I see my therapist as much as I possibly can to help reduce the amount of “Mr. Nuthatching” I have been doing as a result of feeling overwhelmed to where I, for lack of better words, put myself into a time out to help calm down and not be in a constant state of fussiness.

(Mr. Nuthatch is a character from the show, “Birdz”, who is receiving therapy from the main character’s father, Morty. He wears an eggshell on his head, is easily worked up, and desires to be “Back inside his egg” and does not want to “Give up blankie”. He has been drawn by Oxnard / Nishi along with Ashleigh Fox Kit. Episodes of the show are free to watch on YouTube.)

4: Peep has been struggling as a result of how his mother and I have, to him, ‘started to fight’. (For the longest time, Peep has felt like I ‘give in’ to his mother and do what she says and tell her whatever she wants to know. This has lost his trust and, last week, I spoke more firmly to my ex-wife when she came to see Peep while bringing up more issues about things and stuff. This did not go well as Peep thought I had acquired a ‘God Complex’ while his mom said I was “Very mean to her.”. I did not believe I was being “mean”, but I am only in control of my feelings and actions. So I am trying to improve upon how I respond to my ex-wife’s increasing grievances as I try to be the best dad I can be given the current, chaotic situation of moving into a new home while seeking new work and battling to get my Unemployment Benefits released.)

5: Working with Mrs. O’Ducky, co-owner of the new house, to establish what utilities and services we should have to optimize our budget along with overall ability to function both together and independently.

6: Making bi-weekly appointments to visit the Employment Center / PA Career link of my town to gain assistance in applying for jobs. (Online job applications are, often, built in ways that are not friendly for Screen Reader / Text-To-Speech software to use without concern of missing important fields and/or making a mistake in the proper completion of a required field.)

7: Downsizing my collection of plush pals, cards, and other memorabilia to ensure my new room is clean, positive, and that items that no longer bring me as much happiness can be donated / given to those who can best use what I could once enjoy.

8: Calling utility companies to straighten out issues with provided services. (Had to wait until Friday, November 5th to get internet in the O’Ducky residence and will have to, now, wait until Friday, November 19th in order to use my regular phone to call outside of the city I live in. These were both caused by errors on the sides of the providers and have been sorted out by myself as I’ve been able to use my big beak to, as kindly as possible, resolve the issues without making things stressful for me, my mom, and the poor customer service representative who is truly limited in what they are capable of doing.)

Episode 10 of Birdz best shows what I am trying to work through without having a massive blowout from all the waddling, toddling, and scampering I’ve been doing to ensure Mrs. O’Ducky does not overwork herself and that Peep does not come to negative associate his new roost as being more chores than fun.

BIRDZ – EPISODE 10:
The Life Of Riley
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-2.....XZ&index=9

Watch from 4:50 until 6:40 (You’ll get to see how I’ve been feeling over the past 5 months on an on-and-off basis when Mr. Nuthatch briefly enters the scene.)

I shall continue to try and catch up with everyone as time allows. Quack with everyone soon!

Your Pal,

---Yosh E. O’Ducky ;)

19 Comments | View Journal

Feather Head - Part 2: The Psychology

Posted 4 years ago

hOI!!!!!!

PIP WHILE USING UTILITY BELT In SONG:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQr.....&index=346

This is the second part of two journals to best explain what has been making me into a ‘ghost’ for nearly the past two months…

*** PART 1 – LEFTOVERS FROM FEATHER HEAD 1 ***
1: Employer that released my team and I 20 days prematurely provided ‘some’ of us surprise severance pay. I was one of these ‘fortunate’ ones. However not knowing this was going to be paid meant that I, technically, lied on my UC Claim while having exceeded the amount of gross income I am allowed to make on SSDI.

2: Local Social Security Office is still closed due to COVID-19. (They also do not take, or return, phone calls.)

3: Contacted the nearby SSA office to ensure I had a ‘Case Note Update’ to explain how I did not expect this severance and how, if possible, I would like to avoid a penalty of nearly $325 as a result of the unexpected pay. (The CSR was less than helpful and, although I had already left a message for my Case Manager to contact me , sent another request to said Case Manager to get back to me. UPDATE: I still have not gotten a call back.)

*** HIDING UNDER THE BLANKET ***
1: Falling behind on comments, posts, notes, etc. has made it feel super-duper scary to try and catch up on all that I have not been able to make time for. (I worry about how there are lots of friends who, for just reason, would wonder why I may get back to some folks more sooner than I would respond to them. I do not want to seem like I pick ‘favorites’. *Sighs*)

2: There’s so much work in preparing for the move that I do not know how to best fit in responding to everyone. Especially considering I still have to perform my ‘Parental Duties’ for Peep.

3: Due to preparing for the move, I’ve had to pull all my support for those I have tried to help out through Patreon. (It is certainly nothing personal. I just hope that I can return to helping out again in the near future.)

4: I’m horrendously behind on ‘FiM Fiction’. I still owe someone Part 2 of a commission and have not responded to folks I’ve been talking to and, by now, appear like I do not value their time by all my inconsistence in responding.

5: When I get on twitter, it will only let me see back a short bit in my Notifications before it just won’t let me extend the scroll slider. (Even if I get time to do stuff on my phone for Twitter, I can only view, on average, 12 hours of posts before accessibility just keeps it from sharing more.)

6: The stress and anxiety has ‘Dark Yosh’ coming out. (Dark Yosh is the undesired alter-ego who comes out when I feel overwhelmed and takes my desire to be a diapered dino-duckling into unhealthy escapism.)

*** CONCLUSION – FEATHER HAD 2 ***
I want to be a ‘good friend’ and do now that, just like everyone else, I can only do so much. I just feel very sad and extremely guilty for not being able to spend much time, if any, with so many good friends.

It is my hope that, with ‘Peep House’ ready to just move into over the course of the next month, I will be able to catch up more on all you have to share. I truly do care about everyone and all you do. Please know that, really and truly, I am going to get to where I can do less ‘adulting’ and giving into ‘Dark Yosh’ so I can spend more time with all of you. (I tremendously miss being able to write stories and have so many ideas I want to write that go beyond my super-duper overdue commission.)

May you be well and know that this quacker is going to keep doing all he can to show how much you all mean to me as my friends.

Your Pal,

---Yosh E. O’Ducky ;)

9 Comments | View Journal

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