So after being locked out of my account for 2 years, I finally got support to fix it. How the hell is everyone?

Well I am pissed due to Mandatory Overtime I will not be able to make it to Clarksville to crash the WBC protest.

Ok so normally I don't get involved in causes but this one has a place in my heart. As a combat vet I have a huge issue with the Westboro Baptist Church. These nut jobs have been protesting the funerals of United States Service men and women for years, and blaming their deaths on the homosexuals, and those who support them.

The protest in July 15 2012 at the First Baptist Clarksville in Clarksville, TN at 0745 in the morning. In their words they are " WBC will picket the dog kennel masquerading as a church at First Baptist Clarksville to remind this nation that the false prophets leading these congregations of so-called Christians are to blame for the God forsaken state of this nation. The people pay these charlatans  to lie to them and tell them that their sins will not take them to Hell. These phony baloneys preach smooth words in order to keep the collection baskets full with no concern for the state of the never-dying souls of the parishioners. WBC will shed a little Gospel light at First Baptist Clarksville by giving these people the only words of truth and warning, to wit, God Hates Fags, Fags Doom Nations, America is a Sodomite Nation Cursed of God, ergo, America will be destroyed for her vile sins. "

I say we get together, put on some fur suits and throw us an epic party to make their protest a waste of time. This church is very supportive of animals and supports a shelter known as Precious Friends Puppy Rescue (http://www.preciousfriends.net/)

I say we troll these Westboro Baptist so hard they don't ever come with in a 100 miles of another fur again.

Let me know what you think.

I figured every one else was posting journals on FA to raise money for things like medical bills they can't pay, bills they can't pay, etc...

I laugh every time I see one of these because 99% of these people who have these problems are immature irresponsible life styles is what puts you in these situations. Especially considering the face that most of these stupid fucking twats have 1000 dollar or more fursuits, and most of them can be found romping around at cons or having their asses plastered to the computer. Here is an idea. IF you can't pay your fucking bills maybe you should get your fat ass off the computer and sell your PC/Laptop instead of spending all day on tumbler/facebook/twitter/FA.

That being said I am going to be a furry for the day and say please send me all your monies. Cause I want a free hand out too.

Lulz I almost said that with out laughing hysterically.

Just trying to see who's all going to be at RCFM 2012!!!! Let me know so I can expect to see!

So I have pretty much come to the conclusion that happiness is just one of those things in my life I'm never going to have, like a lambo or a mansion. I should just stop trying and shut down on everyone instead of doing things to make people happy and makes me miserable.

NAREF - North Alabama Region Elite Furs

I'm staring a new email group. One that can take a joke and is not bogged down with aimless chatter about what happened at work, or how ur day at school was. It's not going to be tight ass restricted. If you want to post about a furry keg party, or a furry pub crawl you can needless to say if you don't have thick skin or get butt hurt easily this is probbobly not the group for you. If you wana hang out places other then a cramped apartment of at a restaraunt once a month, and possibly do fun things like go to the movies, party, etc... Then join up.

#EliteFursUnite

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NAREF/

-Yuki

Just wanted to put iy out there that I am back in the hospital again. I'm at Athens limestone no ideas when I'm gona get out just know I'm getting scoped in the morning.

So over the past 5 months the most amazing person has come into my life, now I feel like the relationship I have with the only person in the world I can count on is going down the drain because she can't handle a relationship and a friendship at the same time. Its like I am not asking her to not have a life, just asking her to be a friend when she is needed. Needless to say I feel like all I am to her now is an ATM come pay day and a free place to stay. She keeps promising to do things, and she never does. needless to say my life is falling apart and the only person there who usually pics up the pieces is busy living in her own little world.

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left

That is exactly how I feel right now.

It scares me that I am getting to the point of being the person I was a few years ago. I ask pity on the next mother fucker who crosses me. I can assure you there will be an ass whipping to follow. I am stressed out I feel like I can't breath and I want to just fucking be done with all this shit

I think I am getting to borderline creeper status. I say this because there was this really really cute boy who was uber sexy in and out of suit.(If you were there I am sure we all know WHO I am talking about.) and I still think about him. Does that make me creepy. I need a cute deer to come rescue me from this mundane half ass life I live.

That being said I can now officially be added to list of Huntsville Creepers

I still can't believe I stroked his antlers for an hour.

Sorry I have not been around a lot of things going on.

First and foremost I have not seen my son since the day before RCFM. Needless to say his worthless piece of shit mother is trying to keep him away from me. She filed a restraining order and claimed I abused him and her. WTF??? Any one who knows me knows that I love my son more then anything in the world and that she is a total cunt for even implying that I would hurt my son. Then she stole all my money from the bank. Pretty much means no MFF this year, which pisses me off because right now I could use a good con. Oh well I guess ill just have to wait to see every one at RCFM. Other then that work has been hell, I still miss my son, still single, still fighting medical issues and my life is pretty much in the shitter. Other then that I'm still single and hatting it, and still getting hit on by creepers. Any way I'm going to return to my mundane life of playing World of Warcraft.( know ism a homo)

Till we meet again.

-Yuki

Fuck. Had 2 friends who really wanted to go to their first con, didn't have the money for a room, so I said they could stay with me. Now find out today that jux isnt coming because she thinks it's gona be to many people in the room. Fuck I'm disappointed, and frustrated.

On spetember the 10th 2011 I will be honoring the 343 firefighters who died 10 years ago in the most horrendous attack to ever take place on US soil. I will be running in a 9.11 kilometer run in my bunker gear on 10 Sept 2011. Come out if you can and help motivate me. If you can't then come by the gym in the mornings at MFM and watch me train. I would appreciate your support in helping me honor those heroes who gave their lives for people they didn't know.

It will be taking place in Huntsville, AL. I attached the link to the flier. I need your motivation and support!!!

All gave some, Some gave all. Never forget the 343. Let's roll.

http://redstonemwr.wordpress.com/20.....911-9-11k-run/

So wow.

In one day I spent 3000 dollars on medical shit. WTF

I had a 2600 dollar hospital bill, and 450 dollars in prescriptions.

I have 8 dollars in my checking account.

I still have not gone grocery shopping, and I still have not paid my cable bill.

Long store short its going to be a boring week with no food and internet.

8 more days till overtime payday.

Maybe I can go pan handle till then.

Every one should check their bank statements. I had some very interesting charges on my debit card.

" How do you know it was a fur Yuki and not someone else? " You may say.

Well I am sure that only a furry would make a purchase on bad dragon for $265.00, or purchase Second Life Linden from http://www.xchange4ls.com for the cost of $60.00 or the $100.00 to paypal. Causing my accounts to be over drafted.

That being said I am very disheartened at the fact that someone would steal from me. Of all the people in the world who would be willing to loan you money if you needed it no questions asked it would be me.

So this goes out to who ever the thief is.

I have already notified my bank that there have been fraudulent charges on my account. They are in the process of getting the information from the 3 places the money was spent. THIS WILL BE YOUR ONE AND ONLY CHANCE to come to me like an adult and tell me that you stole from me. If that happens we will work something out for you to repay me no questions asked. No ass beatings, no cops, no hard feelings.

If I do not hear from the fucking coward by Wed at noon I will press charges to the full extent of the law and set my self some bond money aside because when I find out who it is I will break every bone in your fucking body until I am removed from on top of you by force.

That is all.

If you know who it is, can prove it, and help me nab this thief, there will be a reward.

That is all

-yuki

Do you guys think if I changed my fursona to a Bar of Soap, furs would stop using me so much?

So I pretty much feel into my same bad habit. I am so needy for human contact and being around people instead of being alone that I blew 450 dollars in two days between gas, drinks, food, etc. Now that being said. Some of that was expected. I HAD intended on covering certain individuals, but then again some other individuals I had not planned to cover, or planned on them coming. I guess its easy to self invite ones self when the individual with all the money has no spine and is not willing to be like " WTF you self invite, knowing you have no money, then just stand there with a dumb look on your face, expecting me to rip out my debit card and just swipe away your problems." It seems like peoples priority's are so fucked up and I just get sucked into it.

-Try's to understand the concept of how an individual can afford things like internet, Xbox live, furry commissions(suits-art-etc..) and yet can't afford to buy there own food and entertainment-
-shakes head-
-attempts at removing head from ass-
-Looks for friends who don't plan to mooch off me 24/7-
-FAIL-

FYI - When I post a rant on FA and you have to ask me " Is this post about me?" Stop, look in the mirror and ask your self. "Is Yuki Talking about me?" Then you will know. If anything I post offends you well then I guess that is just an admission of guilt on your own behalf. If it wasn't about you, it shouldn't offend you.

It must be nice to have people throwing them selves at you, be handed what ever you want, and know it. That being said im done trying. Good luck.

You know who you are.

1 of 25 complete.

Tired as shit, Nauseous and I can't eat.

Got no one to lean on.

NA meetings seem to not be helping, contemplating rehab again.

So excuse the hell out of me if I seem a little pissy lately.

In these times of doing what you're told. Keep these feelings, no one knows. What ever happened to the young man's heart. Swallowed by pain as he slowly fell apart. And now I'm staring down the barrel of a .45

Days like today make me want to quit my job, pop a bottle of pills and fall off the face of the earth.

There is not enough training in the world to prepare you for the pain of holding the lifeless body of a child in your arms. Sweet and innocent, life stolen by the ignorance of a single person.

I hate my life, and this fucking job.

Okay so let me start this rant of by stating I am a cub. I always have been, and I always will be. I am not going to pretend to be something I am not when it is convenient for you. Accept me for who I am like a friend should, or pack your shit and get down the fucking road. I have never asked anyone to change or be something they are not even the ones I think are odd. So if you can't accept me as the cub I am, the cub I have always been, then you never were my friend in the first place and you probably have been using me like the rest of them.

TL:DR I am pretty much padded all the time, if you don't want me to come over padded. I'll just stay home!



I don't care if this sounds shallow, deal with it.

I will not get tied into a relationship with some one who is morbidly obese, who makes no effort to make them selves healthy and eats nasty unhealthy food every meal. I make a conscious effort every day to better my self. I eat food that is healthy, I work out, I stay active and I take care of my body. Now I am not saying that its not okay to throw down on some fat nasties every once in a while. You all have seen me do it, and in moderation eating a whole pizza and a box of ice cream is okay, but stuffing greasy fried food down your gullet every day and then spending 12 hours behind the computer screen or the Xbox is not. Its your choice. If you choose to be a glutton and an unhealthy person who losses their breath walking to the fridge that is your prerogative, just don't expect to hook up with me because it will not happen. I need a healthy person who is going to partake in the activity's that I enjoy. I want to run in a 5k fund raiser with my "mate" not have him watch it on the news from his lazy boy with a box of Ho Ho's and a 2 liter of mountain dew.

TL:DR If your a lazy bum and you can't take care of your self, how am I supposed to expect you to take care of me when I need it? If your not healthy don't expect to get into my padding.



Hygiene

If you do not shower at a minimum of once a day, your gross. You will never convince me that its okay to go two or three days with out a shower. I spent 5 days straight in the hospital with out a shower. I felt like I was the nastiest thing in the world, and I cleaned my self with baby wipes 2 times a day. Long story short bathing requires the use of soap, hot water, and shampoo as a minimum. After bathing is complete everyone should apply deodorant/anti-antiperspirant to avoid smelling like a disgusting fuck. I sweat, but I don't smell of BO 24/7 either. Tooth brush and tooth paste. ITS A MUST. Okay I dip smokeless tobacco , its a disgusting habit, and drink pots upon pots of coffee at work, but still manage to brush 3 times a day to keep my teeth from turning yellow, falling out and having nasty breath. Haircuts/brushes/combs they are a necessity to operate in today's society. I have a High and Tight hair cut. Not much up there, but I still add a little gel run the comb through it, and make it look presentable. Not saying hair can't be long. I think long hair on guys is sexy if it is styled and does not look like a rats nest. Clothes. I am not saying you have to wear name brands, you don't have to be main stream. I am just saying you should wash that shit. There is nothing more embarrassing then going out with someone in public who's clothes are beyond wrinkled, covered in stains, full of holes(Not the stylish stone washed jeans like I wear, with the wore out knees) but the T shirt that you have had for 10 years that is full of holes and food stains, and falling apart. I am not saying you have to wear Armani, Prada or LV, but if you plan on being scene with me in public don't look like you feel out of the homeless shelter. Laundry Soap and a Washing Machine is a must. If you don't have one, cant afford the laundry mat call me I will let you use mine.

TL:DR Wash your balls/Wash your face/Brush your Teeth/Brush you hair/Wash your clothes



Jobs.

The economy is fucked, there is no doubt about that. That being said I am thankful for the job I have every day. I am so sick and fucking tired of people telling me how easy I have it. I have spent the last 8 years of my career busting my ass to be where I am today. I spend 3 months out of every year in school working on continuing education and balancing that with working 72+ hours a week responding to FIRES, CAR WRECKS, EMS CALLS, HAZMAT SPILLS, AND RESCUES. I put my ass on the line every time I run into a burning building so I think I have far over EARNED the right to be in the job I am in and make the money I do.

Yes, it is possible for you to work. No it may not be your dream job, no it may not be fun and exciting, no you may not make a lot of money. That being said I see advertisements every day in the help wanted adds. I know it sounds terrible to think you might have to flip burgers, fry chicken, do manual labor, lift heavy objects etc etc... One day the world will offer every one cushy jobs, but until then swallow your fucking pride, get off your ass, quit being a mooching bum and do some fucking work. I can tell you for a fact I would work full time at McDonald's flipping burgers, and part time selling oranges on the street corner before I ever asked someone to let me live there for free and to take care of me. MINIMUM WAGE IS BETTER THEN NO WAGE.

Plenty of people work multiple jobs they hate to support them selves and their family's I think you can too. I just requires dropping the xbox controller, and putting forth some effort.

Do not expect me to let you crash at my place unless you have a stable source of income, or are in school to get an education to make a stable source of income.

TL:DR - Get a fucking Job, or Get a fucking education. I will be glad to circle adds in the help wanted section, or help you apply for federal education grant money, its out there.

Rant complete

Please forward all hate mail to the complaint department.

I think its just time to give up, I am at the point now where I just don't care anymore.

"He's everything you want, he's everything you need
He's everything inside of you that you wish you could be
He says all the right things at exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you, and you don't know why"

-shakes head-
-buries face in paws-
-cry's self to sleep-
-start over again tomorrow-

Attorney's fees for custody fight. - $5000.00
Medical Bills for surgery - $1300.00
Monthly bills/mortgage payment/utility's - $700.00
Upcoming medical procedures and medications $400.00

Total amount of money left in checking account $76.50

Not knowing how I am going to be able to afford groceries, fuel, and medication for the next 2 weeks.

PRICELESS

Last Night was again just another in a long night of disappointing nights. WTF is wrong with me. Why do I attract fat, smelly, old, nasty fags, and tend to get the cold shoulder from the ones that are cute. Then to top it all off I have feelings for some one who wants absolutely nothing to do with me, other then to say hi when I message him then ignore me for the rest of the night.

/wrists that is how I feel right now.

" I remember the look in your eyes
When I told you that this was goodbye
You were begging me not tonight
Not here, not now
We're looking up at the same night sky
And keep pretending the sun will not rise
We'll be together for one more night somewhere, somehow"

In 8 years of sobriety I have never wanted to use this much in my life. FTW

Sometimes when I say "I am okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hold me in their arms tight and say " I know your not"