So I have some good news and some bad news.

Good News - The surgery was a success and they were able to remove all parts of the mass and the muscle it was attached to laparoscopically with out cutting more then my belly button open. I have since been discharged and am now resting comfortably on my couch.

Bad News - The biopsy results came back positive and the tumor was malignant, and starting next week I will start to undergo direct line radiation treatment of the area to kill off any cells they may have missed. 25 treatments every other day, until it is complete.

Good News - The tumor had not metastasized so the threat of having cancer spread in other areas is very low. This also means I will not have to undergo chemotherapy. Which I was praying I wouldn't I don't so so well with a bald head, and vomiting every where.

Bad News - The area of effect could possibly cause me to be sterile.

Good News - I will not have to shave my balls for the next couple months as the radiation treatment will keep my man area free and clear of hair.

TL:DR - I am alive, The tumor was full of cancer cells, They think they got them all, No Chemo, Radiation just in case, My balls will be hairless.

I am how ever in a lot of pain, and really bored and can't do shit. So if anyone wants to come by and bring me a sprite that would be awesome. This anesthesia always makes me nauseous as fuck and I have already thrown up once.

-Yuki

Maybe I'm being selfish. Really atbthis point I don't fucking care anymore. That being said let me say this.

I work 72+ hours a week. Yet when people need money, I loan it out no questions asked. When people are hungry and have no money, I buy food, no questions asked. When it's 2 in the morning and some one is in a hard way, I get up and get dressed and help them out, knowing I have to be up in four hours for work, no questions asked. I play chauffeur when people need rides, play doctor when they have a problem, and can't afford a doctor. Always lend an ear for their problems, open my home to any one who needed a place to stay. Use my contacts all over town risking the possibility of outing my self, to help people out when they can't get the info they need.

I've never asked for a handout, I've never asked for gas money, or some one to pay my way. I've never asked for any of the money I have spent back, I've never called in a loan, and I've never asked for any thing.

Now I'm in a fucked up situation. I'm having surgery on Monday, and facing the possibility of having cancer. The only thing I ask for is a little emotional support, and some one to sit with. I get nothing.

I was always told that good guys finish last, I'm ok with finishing last, as long as my "friends" are there to cheer me in as I cross the finish line. I never knew how really alone I was, until my own "friends" turned their back on me and left me
hanging.

Maybe I will just stop being the nice guy I am.

-yuki

Living in a world so cold
Wasting away
Livin' in a shell with no soul
Since you've gone away
Livin' in a world so cold
Counting the days
Since you've gone away
You've gone away from me

FML just when you think you can't fall any deeper you get news like "Hey so you have a tumor, and it might be cancer."

I believe truly in my heart that god hates me and wants me to be miserably unhappy.

Well I came up for work reasons and decided to stay a few days for personal ones. Unfortunately the reason I stayed up here ended up being a waste of time. I thought there was a chance, things seemed like this wouldn't end up being just another disappointing heart break. Again I was wrong.

Thanks to Bujo for making my shitty weekend not so shitty. It's the best date I have ever had with a straight man lol. We went and saw a movie, played put put golf, went to the gun range, and drank some cold brews. Plus I got some snuggles. Unfortunately for Bujo he didn't know he was snuggling a lil gay boy till after he woke up lol.

Any way I will be home tomorrow afternoon hope to get out to Brodys tomorrow evening as long as I make it back from IL in a reasonable time.

-Yuki

Dear Spectrum,

You are F-in awesome!!!!!

Love the new con-badge.

Love,

Yuki!!!!!!