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Looking trim and slim :D
Posted 16 years agoyaaaaay.. I'm down to a size 6 again. That makes Zabeth veddy happy. Hrm, I'm just.. living I guess. I've been considering erasing my gallery since it's been kind of neglected lately. Dunno if I will though. I have two other names on here I could always switch to I guess heheheh. Quite honestly I have been focusing more on my IRL-life more than my net life. I hardly ever get on the computer anymore unless I'm checking my bank account and email.. I haven't been purposely staying offline, it just kind of happened that way.
I'm am doing so much better now though. I have my moods in control, I'm trying to budget more.. trying to stop smoking these damn cigarettes heheh. I've hardly had anything to drink in the last month or so. I don't really enjoy alcohol as much these days. Probably because of the lexapro *shrug* but that's all good regardless.
I miss my buddies here though.. I don't want y'all to think I've forgotten about you. If I missed any of your calls it's most likely because of my work schedule :< That goes for myspace messages too.. sorry, the net just.. isn't really my friend when I get too immersed in it. I do much better with my artwork and life in general when I don't feel pressured to update galleries online.
Pffffft.. I'll pop in every now and then. Who knows, maybe I'll have some cool stuff to show ya'll in time? Well, despite everything else, I love you all and I wish you the best with your art and lives as well.
Peace homies
Zabeth~
P.S. My mohawk is fucking HUGE now!!! And I realized that I was wasting waaaay too my time and money on all that hairspray. I have a new method for putting it up now that barely uses and product at all XD I put some green in the front too.. maybe I'll snap a cute photo of it sometime kyahaha.
I'm am doing so much better now though. I have my moods in control, I'm trying to budget more.. trying to stop smoking these damn cigarettes heheh. I've hardly had anything to drink in the last month or so. I don't really enjoy alcohol as much these days. Probably because of the lexapro *shrug* but that's all good regardless.
I miss my buddies here though.. I don't want y'all to think I've forgotten about you. If I missed any of your calls it's most likely because of my work schedule :< That goes for myspace messages too.. sorry, the net just.. isn't really my friend when I get too immersed in it. I do much better with my artwork and life in general when I don't feel pressured to update galleries online.
Pffffft.. I'll pop in every now and then. Who knows, maybe I'll have some cool stuff to show ya'll in time? Well, despite everything else, I love you all and I wish you the best with your art and lives as well.
Peace homies
Zabeth~
P.S. My mohawk is fucking HUGE now!!! And I realized that I was wasting waaaay too my time and money on all that hairspray. I have a new method for putting it up now that barely uses and product at all XD I put some green in the front too.. maybe I'll snap a cute photo of it sometime kyahaha.
Like wow, hi again guys
Posted 16 years agoi'm 136.2 lbs now :3 pretty cooooool... i moved to my new apartment last monday, AND I LOVE IT..
Hm.. i'm in a cooking mood. I'm gonna go cook.
bye
Zabeth~
Hm.. i'm in a cooking mood. I'm gonna go cook.
bye
Zabeth~
High guys, long time no see, eh? Missed you. *smile*
Posted 16 years agoLexapro= going okay, little dizzy, can't drink very much, I'm just kind of there but it isn't so bad.. to just be there.
Adderall= "I'm finished with the upstairs and downstairs dishes, do you want me to mop and wipe the tables? Oh yeah I was thinking of using some Sunbrite, it's this all natural cleaner, in fact, it's so natural you could eat it, anyway, I was going to take some of that and wipe off all the fingerprints and scuff marks off the walls, I think it would make the halls look better and more marketable. By the way, when was the last time a health inspector came in? Maybe I can wipe off the walls in the kitchen after you finish those pots and pans? Do you.. want me to get those for you? I could be doing that while you're finishing up around the stove. No? Okay, well, you sure? Haha, alright, WHOOPS, I hear the phone! Be right back! <ahem> Yellow Brick House, Elizabeth speaking."
*hugs you all*
Later
Zabeth.
Adderall= "I'm finished with the upstairs and downstairs dishes, do you want me to mop and wipe the tables? Oh yeah I was thinking of using some Sunbrite, it's this all natural cleaner, in fact, it's so natural you could eat it, anyway, I was going to take some of that and wipe off all the fingerprints and scuff marks off the walls, I think it would make the halls look better and more marketable. By the way, when was the last time a health inspector came in? Maybe I can wipe off the walls in the kitchen after you finish those pots and pans? Do you.. want me to get those for you? I could be doing that while you're finishing up around the stove. No? Okay, well, you sure? Haha, alright, WHOOPS, I hear the phone! Be right back! <ahem> Yellow Brick House, Elizabeth speaking."
*hugs you all*
Later
Zabeth.
Super Bowl.. yay! Oh yeah, thanks guys.
Posted 16 years agoI get off of work at 8:00 then I'm supposed to drive out to my ex's mother's house to watch the rest of the game and have some drinks.
Last night our apartment was flooded due to a toilet overflow from the tenants upstairs. Kind of a bummer but nothing was destroyed thankfully. I guess.. I needed to do some reorganizing anyway *shrug* Good thing I always sleep on the couch in the living room, coz' my bedroom is a shipwreck at the moment.
I've had some really good advice from my last journal.. it's made me do some alternative thinking, which is a good thing. I need to try something different with my life because obviously what I have been doing is not working for me.
I think it's time to make some art for me. That would be good.
Beelzabeth+
Last night our apartment was flooded due to a toilet overflow from the tenants upstairs. Kind of a bummer but nothing was destroyed thankfully. I guess.. I needed to do some reorganizing anyway *shrug* Good thing I always sleep on the couch in the living room, coz' my bedroom is a shipwreck at the moment.
I've had some really good advice from my last journal.. it's made me do some alternative thinking, which is a good thing. I need to try something different with my life because obviously what I have been doing is not working for me.
I think it's time to make some art for me. That would be good.
Beelzabeth+
Not in such a great place anymore. Oh well.
Posted 16 years agoI'm tired of snapping. That's been happening to me a lot lately. I need to get away from my life because it's depressing the FUCKING SHIT out of me. I can't sleep and I barely eat anything because food tastes like shit and melted plastic.
I really don't see what the point is anymore. Whenever I think there is NO possible way to get any worse, I prove myself wrong and then it becomes days of trying to figure out how to kill myself, and then having little doubts, and then I stare at walls and cry. Awwww.. poor me, NOT!
Just so you know, I don't really give a fucking shit anymore about what people have to say about suicide, and why I shouldn't do it. "Your mother would be devastated!" "We all love you and care about you!!" The world's already overpopulated and who cares if a sad person makes it so they aren't sad anymore. Even if I never do "the dead deed" I still think about it constantly and it scares me sometimes too. It's just gotten to that point
I won't lie, I fucking hate my life, I hate who I've become and I hate what I put people through.
I just want to sleep.
Dunno what to do, but I have a weird feeling it's going to involve me going on anti-depressants and other fucking pills because apparently my family and shrink are giving up on me being able to live a normal life. *Thumbs up*
Yay for pill zombies.. oh yes, here we go again. Goodbye me, but don't be too sad, you were always a little fucked in the head. Make everyone else happy, that's what makes the world go round.
Zabeth/Liz/that person that gets fucked up at your parties.
I really don't see what the point is anymore. Whenever I think there is NO possible way to get any worse, I prove myself wrong and then it becomes days of trying to figure out how to kill myself, and then having little doubts, and then I stare at walls and cry. Awwww.. poor me, NOT!
Just so you know, I don't really give a fucking shit anymore about what people have to say about suicide, and why I shouldn't do it. "Your mother would be devastated!" "We all love you and care about you!!" The world's already overpopulated and who cares if a sad person makes it so they aren't sad anymore. Even if I never do "the dead deed" I still think about it constantly and it scares me sometimes too. It's just gotten to that point
I won't lie, I fucking hate my life, I hate who I've become and I hate what I put people through.
I just want to sleep.
Dunno what to do, but I have a weird feeling it's going to involve me going on anti-depressants and other fucking pills because apparently my family and shrink are giving up on me being able to live a normal life. *Thumbs up*
Yay for pill zombies.. oh yes, here we go again. Goodbye me, but don't be too sad, you were always a little fucked in the head. Make everyone else happy, that's what makes the world go round.
Zabeth/Liz/that person that gets fucked up at your parties.
Blitzkid and 52 Ways show tonight, Painting, Adderall
Posted 17 years agoIt's gonna be a fun night. Can't wait.. gotta finish this painting. I'm excited about that. Yay yay yay. Mom and my shrink are making me take adderall, when I say "making me" I mean HIGHLY SUGGESTING that I take adderall. Dunno how I really feel-feel about it.. giving it a try.. kind of makes me feel speedy, but they say when you FIRST take it that's pretty normal and if that continues then blegh, Rhadika will probably try to say I need to take something else. Oh well pills, what can I say?
I'll put on mild corpse paint this evening.. gonna be more comfortable then glammy tonight.
Later Guys
Beelzabeth~
I'll put on mild corpse paint this evening.. gonna be more comfortable then glammy tonight.
Later Guys
Beelzabeth~
Unicornsby will now be a Dragonsby
Posted 17 years agoheh. when I started on some of the last stages of this painting I kind of... did some thinking. Afterwards the Unicorn started to change into a white unicorn-dragon. I'll snap a quick photo of it if the the glare doesn't fuck it up too much. yep yep yep... oh my god I hope he likes it. *single tear*
Beelzabeth+
Beelzabeth+
Making a Unicornsby painting for Goolsby
Posted 17 years agoDurp, my art block has bitten my dick off hard the last few months. A little while ago I doodled that silly Unicornsby for Argyle Goolsby and he loved it XD http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1813217/ so for fun I told him I'd make him an actual painting of it and give it to him at the show on the 19th.
I'm really having a lot of fun with this one.. the frame for the painting is fucked up-weird that's for sure. I cut up a bunch of pokemon and other random action figures and glued them all around the frame, THEN I sprayed this paint over it that has a granite texture.. and then dumped a bunch of bloodiness over it. Yah yah it's weird but very fun to play around with.
I'm debating on the inner frame.. I might just wing it *shrug* Oh well I hope he likes it kyahahaha. I bet it would be fun to look at while your high or drunk.
Beelzabeth+
I'm really having a lot of fun with this one.. the frame for the painting is fucked up-weird that's for sure. I cut up a bunch of pokemon and other random action figures and glued them all around the frame, THEN I sprayed this paint over it that has a granite texture.. and then dumped a bunch of bloodiness over it. Yah yah it's weird but very fun to play around with.
I'm debating on the inner frame.. I might just wing it *shrug* Oh well I hope he likes it kyahahaha. I bet it would be fun to look at while your high or drunk.
Beelzabeth+
Time to pump some fucking iron!
Posted 17 years agoMother fuck.. I'm gonna get cut >:\ *clenches fist* It's not over until I say it's over! I gotta stop doing this half-assed and go all the way with it. I want guns, I want a 4-6 pack, I want to look lean. It will be hard work but you won't hear me making anymore excuses about it.
Later guys
Beelza-fucking-beth+
Later guys
Beelza-fucking-beth+
Gonna spam my page with random older pics :D
Posted 17 years agoMeh.. I'm organizing folders on my computer and I keep finding little tidbits here and there. *Shrug* I like to doodle randomly sometimes.
Beelzabeth+
Beelzabeth+
HAHAHA I joined okcupid.com
Posted 17 years agoit's some lame online dating thingie where you type in a bunch of your stats and they rate who would be most compatible with you.. my first match was a cross dresser go figure.
Beelzabeth~
Beelzabeth~
Happy Birthday To Me :D 20-FUCKING-5
Posted 17 years agoI started my period.
Beelzabeth+
Beelzabeth+
Got my Willard tattoo yesterday :D B-day plans for tomorrow!
Posted 17 years agoOh my fucking shit.. I LOVE my Willard tattoo. Thank you Mike Groves, you are always a pleasure to get inked with. Lol, we didn't do the Thin Man picture I posted that was kind of a joke X3 He used the original photo I sent him of Willard sitting at the table and made it BAD ASS! Anywho, I'm pleased as punch with it, and when it heals I'll book a third appointment to get the Danzig tattoo's final touches and the remaining shading on Willard.
I don't officially know what is taking place on my birthday tomorrow. I figure it could go 1 of three ways.. My grandmother is going out of town the 28th through the 4th and I'm watching her house so I could have a party there. I could have a party at my apartment, OR we could all go hit the bars. I'm cool with any to tell you the truth. Lots of people are out of town on my b-day so.. regardless I can party alone if I have to HAHAHAHAHAHA! MORE BOOZE FOR ME!
Well guys hope you had very Happy Holidays.. I know I did.. I might be getting that leather jacket I had my eye on pretty soon mehehehhe.. Blitzkid is playing twice in GA next month HELL FUCKING YES!!!!!
Beelzabeth~
I don't officially know what is taking place on my birthday tomorrow. I figure it could go 1 of three ways.. My grandmother is going out of town the 28th through the 4th and I'm watching her house so I could have a party there. I could have a party at my apartment, OR we could all go hit the bars. I'm cool with any to tell you the truth. Lots of people are out of town on my b-day so.. regardless I can party alone if I have to HAHAHAHAHAHA! MORE BOOZE FOR ME!
Well guys hope you had very Happy Holidays.. I know I did.. I might be getting that leather jacket I had my eye on pretty soon mehehehhe.. Blitzkid is playing twice in GA next month HELL FUCKING YES!!!!!
Beelzabeth~
Turning the big 25 the 28th this month :3
Posted 17 years agoHur hur hur.. oh yeah getting up there. Dunno what i'll be doing but it's going to involve alcohol without a doubt. I'm working on some paintings.. picking up some extra shifts at work this week, getting my tattoo Friday around 1:00.. hm I guess I'll be hanging out with my family x-mas eve and the day of. WHAT AN EVENT FILLED WEEK!! My mom got my 10 year old brother a Mystery Scienec Theater boxset for christmas.. and I told her "I know someone that would appreciate that WAAAAAAAAAAY more than Seth ever could" *wink wink nudge nudge* hahaahah I'm such a bitch.
Party on the 28th!! WOOOOO, I'll take many piccies for ya'll since that seems to be all I post anymore lol.
Beelzabeth
Party on the 28th!! WOOOOO, I'll take many piccies for ya'll since that seems to be all I post anymore lol.
Beelzabeth
o_o I think another tattoo is in order.
Posted 17 years agoI got a nice chunk of early x-mas money.. Tattoo? Yes.
Zabeth~
Ps- XD I wonder if my family remembers my birthday is the 28th this months? GIMMIE MORE MONEY LOL! jk.. I appreciate what I have :9
Zabeth~
Ps- XD I wonder if my family remembers my birthday is the 28th this months? GIMMIE MORE MONEY LOL! jk.. I appreciate what I have :9
Tired...
Posted 17 years agobut.. no sleep till my adobe project is complete.. *single tear* -_-.......... *rubs eyes*
Zabeth~
Zabeth~
Denso and Crimson_The_Mastiff are coming over to party
Posted 17 years ago
zombow just flew in from Cali and he's staying with his mate 
Crimson_The_Mastiff :D! They are coming over to hang with me tonight OH GOODY GOODY GUMDROPS! Hehehehe... now some more FA ppl get to see just how LAME I am. You stoked? I sure am hahahaha.Zabeth~
Hickeys and bite marks..
Posted 17 years agoThis cute chick called Lauren licked my ear, sucked my tittie, bit my face, ate my neck and jerked me around by my mohawk at the party last night ;________; I loved it... I got so horny I had to go outside and chainsmoke. Parties are fun <3 *rubs sore face and neck*
The End
Zabeth
The End
Zabeth
White Wolf Christmas party tonight/Quitting Smoking
Posted 17 years agoHehehehe well I guess they aren't technically "White Wolf" now since they merged with those Eve Online ppl.. I STILL CALL THEM WHITE WOLF!! Derp my friend Josh is one of the original illustrators for Werewolf the Apocalypse and Vampire the Masquerade, etc, so he gets invited to these things and in turn invites me along. YAY IT'S DRINKING TIME TONIGHT! The party last year was fun :3 good food, neat people to stand around and smoke with, blah blah blah. I'm looking forward to it.
Speaking of smoking *_* this is my last month I can smoke cigarettes.. I'm quitting New Years Eve.. *single tear* I don't want to, but at the same time I do. I don't even think you guys are aware how ADDICTED to nicotine I am -_- Oh well.. I turn 25 the 28th this month so they will be there for that at least. Omfg I WILL crave nicotine on that stressful day O_O I hate my birthday. I have already planned to watch my Oma's house the 28th through the 4th while she's out of the country... getting old in a quiet setting, yes. I don't even think I will invite any friends over on my b-day O_O;; I mean.. I can drink and watch tv with my Boston Terrier, heh. I guess it will be a Jagermeister kind of night.
Blah, anyways PARTY TONIGHT!! That's what this post was originally about XD
ZABETH+
Speaking of smoking *_* this is my last month I can smoke cigarettes.. I'm quitting New Years Eve.. *single tear* I don't want to, but at the same time I do. I don't even think you guys are aware how ADDICTED to nicotine I am -_- Oh well.. I turn 25 the 28th this month so they will be there for that at least. Omfg I WILL crave nicotine on that stressful day O_O I hate my birthday. I have already planned to watch my Oma's house the 28th through the 4th while she's out of the country... getting old in a quiet setting, yes. I don't even think I will invite any friends over on my b-day O_O;; I mean.. I can drink and watch tv with my Boston Terrier, heh. I guess it will be a Jagermeister kind of night.
Blah, anyways PARTY TONIGHT!! That's what this post was originally about XD
ZABETH+
I wanna leather jacket :D
Posted 17 years agoWell.. my car won't start I'M ALL FUCKING DOLLED UP FOR THIS FUCKING INTERVIEW... and now this. :\ Yeah.. I wanna get a leather jacket. That would be coo'. *twiddles thumbs and waits for Josh to show up with the jumper cables* Fuck I need some weed my nerves are shot.
Random= good sometimes
Beelzabeth...
Random= good sometimes
Beelzabeth...
Filling out a resume.. new job maybe?
Posted 17 years agoI have to buckle down and finish this shit tonight -_- *sigh* I'm gonna take a smoke break and make a quick call to Freeman.. then.. resume.. yes. Wish me luck or something heh. I need the money.. so I can get more tattoos to embarrass my family.. er.. I mean so i can get my own apartment next year.
Beelzabeth
Beelzabeth
Virus on my computer :\ oh well.. MISFITS TONIGHT!
Posted 17 years agoEDIT: 12:13PM I have decided to carpool with Buddy and Jessica when they get out of the tattoo shop around 7:30.. I've never been to the Masquerade before and I'd rather arrive with friends then bum around an hour or two all by my lonesome. Hehehehe fun fun fun reguardless I'm sure?
An old friend added me on myspace the other day and when I went to her photos.. it let a Trojan virus on my computer FUCK! So yeah.. my roomie is taking it to his brother in law to get it fixed yay. I haven't been around much due to several reasons. One being that I may be getting a job as a flash animator with my friend.. I really hope that works out. Also, since the Sunday before last I have been SICK as hell..
The Misfits show is tonight I'm very excited. I put in a thinner "Doyle-esque" devilock today and I had Natalie trim my mohawk up a little in the back. I'm not so worried about mohawk height tonight.. I'm going for more of a greaser look, but everything is subject to change after I put my makeup on lol. I think it will be a fun night.
My birthday is coming up on the 28th this month.. the dreaded 25. Oh shiiiii.. *shudders* OOOOOLD SO FUCKING OLD.. jk.. well kind of
Lol.. this is random way to end this post but I have this crazy "want" to cosplay my Boston Scarier furry-thing, Jeanne, at a con sometime.. I might make that happen next year XD; I think I'm gonna start posting more pics of her when my computer comes back fixed :9
Beelzabeth
An old friend added me on myspace the other day and when I went to her photos.. it let a Trojan virus on my computer FUCK! So yeah.. my roomie is taking it to his brother in law to get it fixed yay. I haven't been around much due to several reasons. One being that I may be getting a job as a flash animator with my friend.. I really hope that works out. Also, since the Sunday before last I have been SICK as hell..
The Misfits show is tonight I'm very excited. I put in a thinner "Doyle-esque" devilock today and I had Natalie trim my mohawk up a little in the back. I'm not so worried about mohawk height tonight.. I'm going for more of a greaser look, but everything is subject to change after I put my makeup on lol. I think it will be a fun night.
My birthday is coming up on the 28th this month.. the dreaded 25. Oh shiiiii.. *shudders* OOOOOLD SO FUCKING OLD.. jk.. well kind of
Lol.. this is random way to end this post but I have this crazy "want" to cosplay my Boston Scarier furry-thing, Jeanne, at a con sometime.. I might make that happen next year XD; I think I'm gonna start posting more pics of her when my computer comes back fixed :9
Beelzabeth
Sick.. so sick *snot dribble*
Posted 17 years agoI was at work yesterday and about 45 minutes before I left I started to feel hot. I went down to the activities room and took my temperature, it was only about 99.7 so I decided to head on home. By the time I got home I FELT LIKE SHIT I decided to change into my pajamas and head towards the couch but then I started puking my guts out.. but it was that kind of puking where you haven't eaten in awhile so your stomach can't really "deliver" and it's more painful and spittley than anything. My back was killing me, my arms were killing me, my throat felt like murder..
My fever shot up and I started crying and tossing and turning, which in turn hurt even more. I don't know where the shit this illness came from but it sucks. I guess on a more positive note laying around being sick has made me miss you guys a lot.. maybe I won't leave FA just yet pffft :\ I just don't know what I want to do with my life so maybe I was trying to put the blame elsewhere. Oh well *drinks some orange juice* Good night guys -_- <sniffle cough>
Zabeth
My fever shot up and I started crying and tossing and turning, which in turn hurt even more. I don't know where the shit this illness came from but it sucks. I guess on a more positive note laying around being sick has made me miss you guys a lot.. maybe I won't leave FA just yet pffft :\ I just don't know what I want to do with my life so maybe I was trying to put the blame elsewhere. Oh well *drinks some orange juice* Good night guys -_- <sniffle cough>
Zabeth
I might be clearing out my gallery pretty soon, see yah guys
Posted 17 years agoI've been thinking about it a lot and I really don't do much with my FA page anymore. The internet honestly depresses me and.. I guess I would rather put together a somewhat professional website and just do my thing there then dump all my crap in a "gallery" and not be satisfied with my scribbles.
Blah blah blah.. don't get me wrong, I love you guys, some of you have been there for me when the HARD TIMES have hit and I can't thank you enough.
Have you ever.. gotten to a point with your art that you needed to be alone and not be around others? I feel like when my art was at it's best is when I was at home listening to music and not talking and discussing why I made that particular piece. I am turning 25 this December and I am slipping right now in the art world. I don't carry my sketchpad under my left arm EVERYWHERE like I used to and draw all the time.
Without my art I think I would rather die but I don't think I can do that here for much longer. You guys keep cranking out that awesome art I love to look at and prosper. I mean that with all my heart.
I on the other hand need to get away from the world for awhile. I feel like people think they know me but they never honestly will. I am a nice person, but at the same time I think people get uneasy around me when they realize how dead I am on the inside. I want things but the follow through and the pay off aren't worth it to me in the end.
Enough Liz
Blah blah blah.. don't get me wrong, I love you guys, some of you have been there for me when the HARD TIMES have hit and I can't thank you enough.
Have you ever.. gotten to a point with your art that you needed to be alone and not be around others? I feel like when my art was at it's best is when I was at home listening to music and not talking and discussing why I made that particular piece. I am turning 25 this December and I am slipping right now in the art world. I don't carry my sketchpad under my left arm EVERYWHERE like I used to and draw all the time.
Without my art I think I would rather die but I don't think I can do that here for much longer. You guys keep cranking out that awesome art I love to look at and prosper. I mean that with all my heart.
I on the other hand need to get away from the world for awhile. I feel like people think they know me but they never honestly will. I am a nice person, but at the same time I think people get uneasy around me when they realize how dead I am on the inside. I want things but the follow through and the pay off aren't worth it to me in the end.
Enough Liz
Commissions cancelled for now
Posted 17 years agoToo much fucked up shit going on right now, I'm hardly ever at home. I AM VERY SORRY -_- this is just how it is. I might be going on some.. adderall soon. Dunno if I really want to take it just yet. My shrink has been telling me I could benefit from it. Oh well, hope you guys had a good turkey day, sorry again for those who might have wanted to commish me. I'm really too out of it right now. MAYBE ADDERALL CAN HELP!!!! AHHAAHA..
Beelzabeth
Beelzabeth
