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Where are they now..?
General | Posted a year agoSo, I decided to be nostalgic and look through all the people watching me, cause some were friends, some are people who have just.. Flat out vanished off the face of the GOD DAMN EARTH! And some have made me legit wonder.. Are they ok? Where are they now?
This isn't.. Some sort of call out journal? But rather, if anyone ever knew what happened to any of these people, let me know what ever happened.
Lets see..
Luca aka fastfoodfurry. We were friends, he was a great guy, had a mild falling out.. But he also just up and vanished. Yo, if you are out there somewhere, know i've been worried about yah and hope you are doing alright!
I am STRUGGLING to remember his name. I remember his original name, Kodiak and his partner at the time was I swore was named Lockjaw. Both ended up having sona changes, I don't think they were together anymore and last I remember was Kodiak becoming I think some sort of purple and white panda, was stupidly huge, kind of going into the sort of hyper level of things. Use to be a close friend.. Its been well over a decade since we spoke and I just.. Wish I could remember, but my mind is crap.
Ryndragon/tanuki.. Someone I knew irl, was close with his family, they actually helped me a fucking ton and.. Fell out of contact. His FA pages are gone and just overall hope he is ok.
Razor the bear! An actual, so to speak, ex of mine from when I was a damn teenager and it was all online and last all a month or so.. We never had bad blood, we just went our different ways, but hell, sure hope he's doing well! If you are out there, I still remember you!
Oh gods, this is a weird one.. Ferkahhan! Another estranged Ex from when I was 18. We had a falling out over something I said and has since both vanished and avoided me for.. Well, over a decade. I honestly just wanted to apologize to him, but I have no idea where he is now, what he goes by or anything. Which is a shame.. I really wanted to talk to him again and give a legit apology. If anyone knows him, tell him I said hi and hope he is doing well.
Hypersexy, Taroumyaki and Angel.. I most likely over reacted in cutting ties with them. But I honestly still feel it is for the best. I have many friends who think I am a good person, but it is people like these who I honestly feel I turned my back on without warning or reasoning that proves I am not and will never say I am. You guys deserve better and just so you know, I don't hate any of you. Most of this was cutting ties due to overthinking things and feeling as if time was wasted, betraying my own ideals of talking things out and jumped ship instead. However if you ever want to speak to me again for whatever reason, you know where to find me. I think..
My Twitter is literally just https://x.com/ZachBareBear - Telegram is the exact same [at]ZachBareBear and discord is just ZachBear .. I'm not fucking hard to find and anyone who says I am is lying. I am basic in so many ways despite me telling others their basic for silly things just to fuck with them.... SO yeah. I wonder where some of you are at now and how life has been. Be safe out there.
This isn't.. Some sort of call out journal? But rather, if anyone ever knew what happened to any of these people, let me know what ever happened.
Lets see..
Luca aka fastfoodfurry. We were friends, he was a great guy, had a mild falling out.. But he also just up and vanished. Yo, if you are out there somewhere, know i've been worried about yah and hope you are doing alright!
I am STRUGGLING to remember his name. I remember his original name, Kodiak and his partner at the time was I swore was named Lockjaw. Both ended up having sona changes, I don't think they were together anymore and last I remember was Kodiak becoming I think some sort of purple and white panda, was stupidly huge, kind of going into the sort of hyper level of things. Use to be a close friend.. Its been well over a decade since we spoke and I just.. Wish I could remember, but my mind is crap.
Ryndragon/tanuki.. Someone I knew irl, was close with his family, they actually helped me a fucking ton and.. Fell out of contact. His FA pages are gone and just overall hope he is ok.
Razor the bear! An actual, so to speak, ex of mine from when I was a damn teenager and it was all online and last all a month or so.. We never had bad blood, we just went our different ways, but hell, sure hope he's doing well! If you are out there, I still remember you!
Oh gods, this is a weird one.. Ferkahhan! Another estranged Ex from when I was 18. We had a falling out over something I said and has since both vanished and avoided me for.. Well, over a decade. I honestly just wanted to apologize to him, but I have no idea where he is now, what he goes by or anything. Which is a shame.. I really wanted to talk to him again and give a legit apology. If anyone knows him, tell him I said hi and hope he is doing well.
Hypersexy, Taroumyaki and Angel.. I most likely over reacted in cutting ties with them. But I honestly still feel it is for the best. I have many friends who think I am a good person, but it is people like these who I honestly feel I turned my back on without warning or reasoning that proves I am not and will never say I am. You guys deserve better and just so you know, I don't hate any of you. Most of this was cutting ties due to overthinking things and feeling as if time was wasted, betraying my own ideals of talking things out and jumped ship instead. However if you ever want to speak to me again for whatever reason, you know where to find me. I think..
My Twitter is literally just https://x.com/ZachBareBear - Telegram is the exact same [at]ZachBareBear and discord is just ZachBear .. I'm not fucking hard to find and anyone who says I am is lying. I am basic in so many ways despite me telling others their basic for silly things just to fuck with them.... SO yeah. I wonder where some of you are at now and how life has been. Be safe out there.
Artwork dump is Over!
General | Posted 2 years agoI fucking hope! I seriously am trying to remember if i'm missing anything, holy fuck...
I got, hopefully, three more, two that are done, to upload. I am just waiting on the boyfriend to see if he wanted to post them on his page first before I do or what...
But there we go. Backlog of art I've shared on my twitter finally making it to FA. Please give the artist who made my oc's come to life some love and make sure if you watch me to go watch them as well! Especially them!
Unlike others, I do not care if people use my stuff for RP. All I ask is you at the very least give credit to the artist with a link to their works, reassure you don't claim ownership and do not make heavy edits. Like fucking with the color hue is one thing, but don't remove and reconstruct the artwork. Please be respectful to the thought and care that was put into these silly fictional characters.
Thank you!
I got, hopefully, three more, two that are done, to upload. I am just waiting on the boyfriend to see if he wanted to post them on his page first before I do or what...
But there we go. Backlog of art I've shared on my twitter finally making it to FA. Please give the artist who made my oc's come to life some love and make sure if you watch me to go watch them as well! Especially them!
Unlike others, I do not care if people use my stuff for RP. All I ask is you at the very least give credit to the artist with a link to their works, reassure you don't claim ownership and do not make heavy edits. Like fucking with the color hue is one thing, but don't remove and reconstruct the artwork. Please be respectful to the thought and care that was put into these silly fictional characters.
Thank you!
Crazy how things change
General | Posted 2 years agoI turned 34 this year, back in September and looking back on SO much crap I've done, good and bad, right and wrong, I realized.. Why did I even care? Uh, more so about what people think of me and why I wasted so much time, effort and mental stress over it. Getting too OLD for this shit, gonna be one of those gay grandpa's sipping wine on their front and wiggling their cane at people who do dumb things.
What I am saying is.. Probably wont be making many journals anymore about crap. I vent to the boyfriend, best friends and yeah, no one really cares about journals.
Oh yeah, I got art on the way. I have a small backlog I need to get posted here. Hope you look forward to it to those who even actually follow me here anymore lol.
What I am saying is.. Probably wont be making many journals anymore about crap. I vent to the boyfriend, best friends and yeah, no one really cares about journals.
Oh yeah, I got art on the way. I have a small backlog I need to get posted here. Hope you look forward to it to those who even actually follow me here anymore lol.
One of These Days
General | Posted 3 years agoI will actually go through all my art and make proper thumbnails for them.. Someday.
Strange Anger and Yet Understanding
General | Posted 3 years agoA weird title for a journal, I know, but it is how I felt briefly after getting home from work today.
Someone who had reached out to me and one of my characters on F-List randomly blocked me on here, FA. It had to of happened after I starting following them cause they had posted new art today and I couldn't fave it cause I was blocked.. It is even MORE weird cause we NEVER actually spoke to each other. It was an interest in my Behemoth, I responded late and never got a note back, que almost half a year later and blocked..
So that ISN'T what made me mad, I found that hilarious, but it is what kind of guided me to a strange bought of anger that drifted into "But... Why should I care?" which is I went on this account to make sure they weren't following me and saw a TON of Watchers I no longer follow and have even burnt bridges with, even a few who disabled their accounts with no way for me to just remove them as watchers and just be like "GTFO". Briefly, oddly, angered and annoyed there is no way to kick watchers you have no interest in following you to the curb, but then swiftly remembered.... Why should I care?
Do I admit a part of me is making this journal in hopes some of them see this, cause they know who they are, or SHOULD know who they are, and that they stop following me? Yes. I'm 32 going on 33, I can fucking admit when I'm being fucking petty. But the other part is also cause I haven't been active here and why not remind people who I am and maybe shed some light on who they are even following.......
Hi, I am Zach, I am a furry-sort-of and I like to, when I have time, RP but overall game and work 80% of the time. I'm also super laid back, can't bring myself to care half the time about other peoples problems when I get my own life to live and can be very petty and sometimes a bit too open with my mind. If you are looking for a fluffy, wholesome, UwU type of god damn furry then you are looking WAY in the wrong damn place, like holy hell you are way off mark. I like my art and my OC's, but thats about it. I can be positive, but most of the time I just like to vent a bit and then vanish for a year.
Wanna talk? Leave a Note. Unfortunately, be over 25 as well. This Isn't just some reason because "I don't wanna get involved with anyone younger than me and be accused of etc", it is that AND the fact you mother fuckers under 25 most of the time act like you are all fucking 10 with the maturity of a baked god damn potato and even trying to be friends with someone who is 19-21 is a challenge on my patience cause you all do some DUMB ass shit that I personally DO NOT WANT to hear cause what I would say is what you don't wanna hear and you will just end up disliking me because I tell the truth and don't sugarcoat it or give you head pats like what you are doing isn't fucking stupid. THERE FOR 25+ for friendship is heavily required now in days. Because I just don't wanna deal with you... Thats all. Thanks for reading, PEACE!
Someone who had reached out to me and one of my characters on F-List randomly blocked me on here, FA. It had to of happened after I starting following them cause they had posted new art today and I couldn't fave it cause I was blocked.. It is even MORE weird cause we NEVER actually spoke to each other. It was an interest in my Behemoth, I responded late and never got a note back, que almost half a year later and blocked..
So that ISN'T what made me mad, I found that hilarious, but it is what kind of guided me to a strange bought of anger that drifted into "But... Why should I care?" which is I went on this account to make sure they weren't following me and saw a TON of Watchers I no longer follow and have even burnt bridges with, even a few who disabled their accounts with no way for me to just remove them as watchers and just be like "GTFO". Briefly, oddly, angered and annoyed there is no way to kick watchers you have no interest in following you to the curb, but then swiftly remembered.... Why should I care?
Do I admit a part of me is making this journal in hopes some of them see this, cause they know who they are, or SHOULD know who they are, and that they stop following me? Yes. I'm 32 going on 33, I can fucking admit when I'm being fucking petty. But the other part is also cause I haven't been active here and why not remind people who I am and maybe shed some light on who they are even following.......
Hi, I am Zach, I am a furry-sort-of and I like to, when I have time, RP but overall game and work 80% of the time. I'm also super laid back, can't bring myself to care half the time about other peoples problems when I get my own life to live and can be very petty and sometimes a bit too open with my mind. If you are looking for a fluffy, wholesome, UwU type of god damn furry then you are looking WAY in the wrong damn place, like holy hell you are way off mark. I like my art and my OC's, but thats about it. I can be positive, but most of the time I just like to vent a bit and then vanish for a year.
Wanna talk? Leave a Note. Unfortunately, be over 25 as well. This Isn't just some reason because "I don't wanna get involved with anyone younger than me and be accused of etc", it is that AND the fact you mother fuckers under 25 most of the time act like you are all fucking 10 with the maturity of a baked god damn potato and even trying to be friends with someone who is 19-21 is a challenge on my patience cause you all do some DUMB ass shit that I personally DO NOT WANT to hear cause what I would say is what you don't wanna hear and you will just end up disliking me because I tell the truth and don't sugarcoat it or give you head pats like what you are doing isn't fucking stupid. THERE FOR 25+ for friendship is heavily required now in days. Because I just don't wanna deal with you... Thats all. Thanks for reading, PEACE!
Apologies of my Past Self
General | Posted 5 years agoIt's funny how just ten years ago I was a very different person with very different morals. I had grown into the fandom with many people, but also grew apart from them, had disagreements or just flat out just couldn't stand how much they stopped caring about me. Which is funny because now i'm more of the type to just stop caring about people when they give me a reason to not wanna care. However I do know who I was back then, the things I did and said, relationships I torn apart and the people who tore me apart in turn, making me who I am today... HOWEVER...
There are a few out there, no names will be said just to avoid possible drama.. I guess, even though I don't care about drama or what people actually fucking thing of me, but a few.. Very very select few i've always wanted to apologize to. I know they will most likely never see this or if they do realize it is them I am talking about, but I am sorry.. I am sorry I couldn't have been a better person, I am sorry it took me this long to grow up enough to just suck it up and let things be instead of dragging them out and i'm sorry the few times that I did play victim..
Keep in mind this apology does NOT apply to a few others.. THREE people to be specific and you know who you fucking are.. The two who I know are incredibly active both here and twitter know who they are, one starts with a D the other with an S. You both will still never ever hear me apologize for the way you made me feel and will never forgive you for the things you have done to me. You are both terrible fucking people who live to hear people tell you exactly what you WANT to hear and anything else is just people starting drama, living in the light of the sorrowful "Victim" mentality, refusing to just outright admit that "Yes, I am fucking trash and I am sorry" and instead of trying to be more humble and modest you instead leech off the "Positive" feed back of your many ignorant followers, partners, etc.
Pathetic
I'd like to add that where I am sorry, I have no interest in rekindling any friendships. Wanting to apologize, wanting to express that one has made faults does not mean there is room for friendship. Sometimes it is better to just smile, understand one another and go ones seperate ways.. Would it be nice to try? Maybe.. But I am positive it would just cause more problems.. Which sucks, cause sometimes I really miss some of you. I miss talking and goofing around, but that isn't how life always works. We can't make friends with everyone. But we can agree that we grew to be incompatible and that is fine and to just move on with our lives, in passing giving each other a smile, but overall living our lives the best way we can.
Lastly i'd like to say.. Thank you to what few old friends I have who have stuck by me through my growing process, granted I am far from actually being worthy of these people, but I also wouldn't have exactly made it this far without you.. Thank you.. I know it hasn't been easy, I know I caused lots of problems, have bared teeth at even you all, the people I care about.. But you stayed.. I don't deserve it, I never will, but I still thank you for everything you have done. This also applies to new friends too. I tell you day one the type of person I am deep down, the animosity I have towards people and this fucking GOD awful fandom, yet you still stayed around and supported me in my need for change.
There are a few out there, no names will be said just to avoid possible drama.. I guess, even though I don't care about drama or what people actually fucking thing of me, but a few.. Very very select few i've always wanted to apologize to. I know they will most likely never see this or if they do realize it is them I am talking about, but I am sorry.. I am sorry I couldn't have been a better person, I am sorry it took me this long to grow up enough to just suck it up and let things be instead of dragging them out and i'm sorry the few times that I did play victim..
Keep in mind this apology does NOT apply to a few others.. THREE people to be specific and you know who you fucking are.. The two who I know are incredibly active both here and twitter know who they are, one starts with a D the other with an S. You both will still never ever hear me apologize for the way you made me feel and will never forgive you for the things you have done to me. You are both terrible fucking people who live to hear people tell you exactly what you WANT to hear and anything else is just people starting drama, living in the light of the sorrowful "Victim" mentality, refusing to just outright admit that "Yes, I am fucking trash and I am sorry" and instead of trying to be more humble and modest you instead leech off the "Positive" feed back of your many ignorant followers, partners, etc.
Pathetic
I'd like to add that where I am sorry, I have no interest in rekindling any friendships. Wanting to apologize, wanting to express that one has made faults does not mean there is room for friendship. Sometimes it is better to just smile, understand one another and go ones seperate ways.. Would it be nice to try? Maybe.. But I am positive it would just cause more problems.. Which sucks, cause sometimes I really miss some of you. I miss talking and goofing around, but that isn't how life always works. We can't make friends with everyone. But we can agree that we grew to be incompatible and that is fine and to just move on with our lives, in passing giving each other a smile, but overall living our lives the best way we can.
Lastly i'd like to say.. Thank you to what few old friends I have who have stuck by me through my growing process, granted I am far from actually being worthy of these people, but I also wouldn't have exactly made it this far without you.. Thank you.. I know it hasn't been easy, I know I caused lots of problems, have bared teeth at even you all, the people I care about.. But you stayed.. I don't deserve it, I never will, but I still thank you for everything you have done. This also applies to new friends too. I tell you day one the type of person I am deep down, the animosity I have towards people and this fucking GOD awful fandom, yet you still stayed around and supported me in my need for change.
