I simply do not use one operating system, even device and one program to get what I need to done. I wish there was an art painting program, that is multi platform , which is made to run on OSX, Windows, Linux, iOS and Android with the same features, functions and tools.

When I start a digital painting piece, wether it turns out to be more mangerish or a digital painting, depending on the flow of things, and what I wish to express. I normally start sketching. First I search for references of poses from photographs from random pictures from searching, or if that is a hassle I pull out a traditional drawing mannequin , or load a virtual 3D mannequin , in a poser software like app on my iPad, such as Pose tool, Manga Pose Tool (http://www.alienthink.com/pose-tool-3d/) ArtPose FE
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Or even use Poser http://my.smithmicro.com/poser-3d-a.....-software.html, which I do for my 3D scenes, which I now use to create entire 3D scenes as references for oil paintings, which in the past, the 3D work was my completed art, and now they are only references for my oil paintings. Before I used these apps on my tablet, I used the built-in 3D manaequins in Manga studio http://my.smithmicro.com/manga-stud.....-software.html, or my traditional wooden one. Manga studio has a good pencil sketching tool, something which Photoshop does not have. I have tried to download brushes that would compensate, but does not have the good feel , and pressure sensitivity as the pencil stool in Manga studio, where you can do light, to hard strokes, as if sketching on paper in real life. Corel Painter http://www.painterartist.com/us/pro.....paint-program/, which I recently got, also has a good sketching pencil tool. Sketchbook (https://www.sketchbook.com/?locale=en), on the other hand, has a pencil tool, and it suffices with sketching as well on the computer and on the iPad. The stylus I have for the iPad is a Wacom intuos creative stylus. The problem with Sketchbook on the iPad, is it is restricted with drawing page resolutions. I always work on A3 size dimensions for better quality and detail, and if I should print it out it would look natural and less blurry and pixelated. If I were to sketch on my iPad first, it is OK, because I can always enlarge it to A3 size on my Mac. But if I sketch on my mac, and work to paint in Sketchbook on the iPad, I would get an error message stating that the artwork is too large, so Sketchbook is out as being a multi platform thing, and would use it to sketch on the iPad, to export to the Mac once only, or do a complete piece on the iPad. ArtStudio https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/art.....364017607?mt=8 is like the Photoshop for the iPad. has a terrible sketch pencil, but decent painting brushes, but can only import , and exporting is done through iTunes/email, so your stuffed if you have no internet. Then there is Medibang Paint (http://medibangpaint.com/en/) Completely multi platform, and a developing software that is like Manga Studio and free. Its sketch pencil tool sucks and is best in doing painting. Unfortunately Manga Studio is more efficient in doing line art, since the pen tool has a jitter-hand correcting settings, that makes lines neater and more precise. So Medibang would be best used for basic colouring in and painting on both platforms. If work is done on the iPad only sketches are best done first with Sketchbook , and the final work done in Medibang. The only problem is it does not seem to work well with my Stylus , with pressure sensitivity, as well as Sketchbook Medibang exports and saves are done in its own format as .mdp files, and exports to its own cloud service and storage to allow transfer between devices. If you have no internet connection, your stuffed, because it does not alliteratively save as .psd which can be imported and used. ArtStudio saves files in .art format. It also has the problem with not registering the pressure sensitivity of my stylus. Medibang paint also has an online social network site like deviant art, but in more of a google+/facebook/twitter style where you can upload final works from your tablet, or computer , or medibang cloud saves to published work, as well as it has its own ebook app to download and read the comic books and manga people created including your own. At the moment Medibang paint is not an alternative to manga studio yet, perhaps when the program evolves it may be in the future, and would be better with its extra bells and whistles of cloud storage, social networking and pulsing and selling of art and comics/manga. There is no manga studio for the tablet which is unfortunate.

When painting/clouring in and lineart I use Astropad http://astropad.com , which turns the iPad into a graphics tablet, where you can move around, like colouring on paper and visually see what you doing on the screen of the computer and the tablet.

So I mostly do my colouring in and tones and painting in Manga Studio on the Mac.

Once I have pose to work from, I mostly sketch in Manga Studio, using the Wacom Bamboo tablet (the older 2010 design)(CTH470)

Touching up work is essential after you have painted , touching up work does simple fixes such as effects to even fix proportion errors without having to scrap or redo the work. Touch ups, even can enhance colours and light tones. This is where Photoshop https://www.adobe.com/products/photoshop.html comes in, but the only problem is is its Liquify tool, which does the job but is tedious and irritating when working with layers. I have to go into windows and use corel photo paint http://www.corel.com/us/, which is an alternative to Photoshop, and its warp brush does the work, without getting confused with the layers. It also has some quick apply effects that take less steps as if you used photoshop, such as focal effects, that saves time and effort. I use my Wacom bamboo tablet for that, since Astropad only works on OSX.

Backgrounds can be painted in any program and exported in jpg format and imported into various programs , and can be moved around with iFile http://cydia.saurik.com/package/eu.heinelt.ifile/ or Photos app, if you had done them on tablet first, or you can do them on the computer. Some effects can be rendered such as space nebulas, warp fractals, slip streams and stars in native or vmware windows , and also works with wine in mac , using Apophysis http://www.apophysis.org.


So basically there is no stand alone program that does all of this on Mac and on iPad, I wish there was.

I just come back from the gender specialist, It does not look like I have any hope to have an operation and get on with my life and leave the past behind. The past seems to be haunting the future. As what I had feared will happen is happening. I hate it that I have this precognition, it makes me feel life is not worth living. At first I think its paranoia, and my mind is being negative, and imagining things that wont happen because they are too far fetched, but when they eventually happen it is a shock, and there is no going back in time to fix and warn myself, that what I see is a real glimpse of the future. What has happened is they have collected a variety of excuses, changing my data, my medical history, and censoring it just so they can dismiss me to save money. This is my life here.. Why is fucking money important than me ? My parents covered up that they got a doctor to surgery on me a month month after I was born for 29 fucking years. Now someone is trying to cover-up this forced surgery , changing my data and blood results and saying it never happened... to save money ? to save fucking money instead of my life ? To make me live through hell until WW3 starts ? I am on the verge of killing myself... enough is enough.. being concerned about my cat is what made me not do it today... I hate living on this planet

The freemason industrial military complex trolls are at it again, they don't know what "leave me the fuck alone means" , It is disgusting that they would resort to attacking my health and gender issues , taking over the abuse where my parents left and stopped ... This time it is not mum and dad that locks me in a room and trying to force religious indoctrination, this time its government... because they don't like what I say and think. If they don't like like what I say and think they should not have been stupid fucks in the first place, like fucking pig heads for starters. The snoopers charter also includes intense trolling hard with bogus user accounts that lack content , user pic and background banners.

When the people you rely on for help don't understand or help, but just add to the problem


I have just received a report from my gender specialist, and it is not good and she has misinterpreted me and got things wrong and made assumptions about me , in her perception that she believes that I "believe" in the existence of extraterrestrials forgetting that I strongly emphasised the difference between belief, understanding and knowing, where i had clearly emphasised I know and understand that life exists beyond this planet and I have interacted with people that live in other solar systems, personally with reference to Anananiah(star mother) , the foot print casts that got lost/ or destroyed by my parents, and my video and photo footage.


She is using this information against me, to delay me from getting surgery done in regards to my gender issues of being intersexed. Using this information against me to diagnose me as having a personality disorder and psychosis so the NHS got throw me on the trash heap to save money with the funding cuts of the government, and making assumptions I am mentally unfit to have surgery. She has also excluded what I had mentioned about being born with both genders and the reaction of my parents to this and how they had kept it secret from me, and told it was true at the end of 2011, and they apologised. This had never been put in the medical report !


The report also never mentions about my blood tests having to be resubmitted because the samples had been stolen and my medical records that been hacked..
I feel I have been set up...again..
I don't know what to do, I don't even trust this doc anymore.

I am so annoyed and frustrated with this paying for plastic bags when I have to do the groceries. It is nothing but a mechanism to make people more into cash cows in a form of “bag tax” to extract money from people to fund a more sinister issue, where the money is collected by CAPITA and the majority goes to so called outsourcing companies part of the industrial military complex such as SERCO, G4S, and weapons manufacturers to fund war like the council tax. They lie to people that they use the funds to solve environmental issues, where some of the funds may be used to support the fracking industry, because the free mason pig molester, pedophile David Cameron and his buddies are focusing on fossil fuels and not renewable energies , and alternative energies such as the confiscated flying disk technology the Germans were developing at the end of WW2.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iumhW7kAu0
Its all about money, and the more reason why money is such a disease to society as it has been set first preference over the lives of people and the ecology of the planet. Like this bag tax, the carbon tax is the same thing using an environmental disaster to make profit and fund the industrial military complex. They know about better technology besides the known wind, solar etc renewable energy sources, such as zeropoint, electromagnetic, fusion reactors or hydrogen protons. The strange thing is with nuclear fusion , the only thing that has been successful is a fucking bomb, instead of an energy source. It just shows you how primitive people are still are especially the bureaucratic politicians and money whore bankers who are freemasons are, and they are killing the planet.

Anyway like I said, if anyone of these fucknuts makes my life more difficult and hard, the more the shit would bounce back and expose there idiocracy.

First of all I feel I am punished with the 5p charge , when I actually had reused/recycled my plastic bags as bin bags to dispose of rubbish waste from groceries and cat litter , cat shit and pee. Now what I would have to do buy bin bags they sell at a store ? How the fuck would this reduce my plastic waste as an individual ? It would be the same amount weather I reuse shopping bags or when I use the on the shelf bin bags. No reduction of plastic waste as a n individual. Why should I be punished by the fucknuts that call themselves government , when I have been having consideration for the environment as an individual , on the negligence of the environment by others ? I never litter, but I have seen many people on the street litter, dump their litter out of their vehicles on the roadside. The thing is South Africa introduced this bag tax a decade ago, and they still have a plastic bag problem, that is harming the wildlife. Charging people for the bags is stupid and nothing but a money making pyurimid scheme to be pocket money for politicians and fund the industrial military complex. Anyone who does not comply would simply be arrested and charged by court most likely fines, cautions , and if repeated the threat of prison, which is stupid.

If the idiots of politicians, bureaucratic wankers, and bankers behind this were concerned with the environment besides tackeling the climate change pollution by fossil fuels by releasing suppressed technologies , and the use of alternative renewable energies, but the plastic pollution problem, they would making it mandatory for shops to supply free biodegradable plastic bags, and use worms and bacteria to eat the existing plastic pollution issue.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yXTf2oElsY

http://www.fondriest.com/news/disco.....-reduction.htm
http://www.sciencealert.com/scienti.....in-our-garbage
https://news.stanford.edu/pr/2015/p.....cs-092915.html
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biodegradable_bag

I feel I have to brake this bag tax law, create a scene just to voice my opinion, but my worries are is how mind bogged and stupid are people to see and hear what I am trying to say from what I have experienced in the past with past experiences with violent, stupid and primitive people who would not react directly and think about things but roll out mindlessly some bureaucratic legal action shit with kangaroo courts ? I amn so angry and pissed off with this issue, because it does not tackle and fix the problem like biodegradable plastic, plastic eating mealworms and bacteria which would not only focus on plastic bags, but all plastic grocery waste, where recycling is not feasible enouph.
Society needs to be guided and assisted by science, and scientists, not governed by money scams, policy makers , ethics puritans , and goat and pig fuckers(fraternity/cult turd faces). As long as earth is governed by these idiots, this planet is considered fucked.

I have injured my left eye, after fainting and landing on my hand, with my nail scratching the cornea , so i be waiting for this to heal first before doing my next art piece

Well , looks like there is more of a delay on getting my operation for my gender issues, this time its because I opposed CAPITA, they somehow causing a lockage in medical treatment (They have infiltrated the NHS), where they want to prescribe me on medication that would make me go blind and put on weight. Told you some shit would come from this… the more they throw shit on me, the more I toss it back at them.. It seems that it is not my mum and dad that imposed oppression on me and did not wish to understand me anymore,,,, its now the establishment -_- , fuck… seriously will this shit ever end and I just can live on with my life without this bullshit ?… I simply will not conform… or convert , best thing is to leave me the fuck alone, CAPITA cunts !

Well giving an update, still working on my large oil painting and working on a digital painting which i wont be uploading on deviantArt. It has come to the push that I can no longer have free hosting for my very own website , where I can upload the variety of my work with no restrictions on content, art genre etc... as you know i do oil paintings, sculptures, digital paintings as well the taboo subject of 3D manipulation. So I had to move to paid hosting , which sux unfortunately, though I now have my very own domain name, which makes up for the pain in the arse of moneyshit. Thus making it longer for me to pay off the credit card, which I had been covering but had to spend it on an important meeting over the easter holidays in London where the media supposed to have turned up in regards to the Extraterrestrial Embassy. I also had been dragged into spending plat and primeshit on Warframe.

As you know, have my new computer for almost a year now, and have to get the Apple care for it in a months time (more moneyshit)... This should cover the possibility of it braking down, which i doubt would happen, rather be safe than sorry, and don't want to get a new computer with an operating system contaminated with flat design, else it would become unusable for me. I find flat design of the GUI difficult to use.

I am struggling to be successful in streaming live on a mac , where i can draw, play music, and the music is streamed and recorded in the live stream. On a PC this is easy to do, on a mac its hard...and have to use sound flower, but i find it confusing and too stupid to figure it out right. I would appreciate it , if someone can find me a decent tutorial on the web how to do this properly. Livestreaming on mac, using sound flower, so that I can play music while I draw, and the music is recorded into the video.

If someone can find me a solution how to do this, would give them a a commission to draw what they want(digital painting aka draw and paint on computer with wacom tablet). I don't normally do commissions , but i think it its fair that I would do you something for your help.

Well, My art has just come back from the Oriental Museum after being on display since January, wrapped up in bubble-wrap , and no one bought it, in fact nobody's work that was on exhibit got sold. I was really hoping these paintings would pay off the credit card I spent in getting my Macbook Pro. Apparently not, and as usual life is always disappointing and boring, especially when money is always involved ...


My other painting which was not for sale "Look What I Made" aka "The Slug Lady" in its satire title depicting an extraterrestrial holding slugs with a spaceship genetically tattooed over their breathing holes, with a spaceship in the background, supposed to be on Exhibit at the Royal Bank Of Scotland. The paining was refused because the subject of Direct Panspermia in the painting was was probably considered controversial ... but not really when you read this..: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/.....n_6608582.html ...



Well since the one is too big to take home at the moment, and when I do I have to hang it from the ceiling (running out of wall space for my paintings in the flat) I took the "slug lady ET" and the blue forearmed oriental extraterrestrial painting home with me. I needed to get some supplies from the shop such as milk, butter, pepper, cat treats, and some personal treats such as crisps and a galaxy chocolate, but forgot to get toilet paper :/. So when the lady at the shop saw the paintings I was carrying, she got scared. I asked what was wrong with the paintings. She said nothing, but I could feel that she was scared of extraterrestrials, she was always nervous when I was at her shop, because I look different to everyone else... but her seeing the paintings and reacting with fear explains it. She is scared of people from other planets who have almond eyes and pointed eyebrows.. As I went home, I wonder who or what made her scared of extraterrestrials, or is she afraid of them, like some people are afraid of spiders and insects ? Or is it the media brainwashing people with alien invasion and abduction movies ?

Hello there, well I have not posted in a while, I did, but I deleted it encase it attracted unwanted attention. Well the update is, I have been playing Warframe, which is why frequency in creating art has declined a bit, and I have two of my paintings in an exhibition on the go at the Oriental Museum.., will be checking on monday on the paintings if they are sold or not, I really hope they are, . Yes I had to use credit card to get a new computer which was a Macbook Pro. Small, light and powerfull, so I would not kill my back carrying it from home to the studio and back.

I have started a new painting, based on my recent digital 3D manipulation.

Well , how I am feeling and keeping ? Not well at all, the help I have been relying on has left me in the shit again, which is why I have been staying away from community websites , since what happened to me years ago. Nothing seems to be happening with my medical gender issues, and its gone worse or on hold because of political -economic reasons, if it continues... i don't want to think about it.

The doomsday clock set by the board of atomic scientists is now 3 minutes to midnight, something I feared and sensed in dreams would happen, has happened. What see in my dreams in the not to near future has left me with insomnia. This why I enjoy the game of Warframe, keeps my mind off it. I am finding it more difficult to concentrate on my artwork again and I feel I am heading downhill again. This why I been staying away from sites like deviant art encase I say something dumb and stupid , and I have a whole 2011 thing all over again.

Things have changed , and I am asking for help and advice on this issue, this is the changes to sick and disability benefit as Serco, Capita and G4S take over public sector of the UK government.

The problem is the council tax. Everyone has to pay council tax, and we are told its for the infrastructure, the hospitals, fire stations, schools etc etc. I am fine with that. Thats how it used to be, and anyone who is on a benefit, this all happened in the background.

Now we have to pay CAPITA for council tax, an industrial military corporation. I consciously object paying to a company that funds war, funds the manufacturing of weapons, and funds military, invasion and nuclear war.

The thing is I have enquired to pay council tax directly to council so that it would go to the fire station, schools, infrastructure of the city. So far no joy, all channels seem to deposit people's payment;s into CAPITA, and the thing is later on they would threaten to take me to court. I have decided if they take me to court, and do not realize and negotiate that I consciously object to paying the council tax through CAPITA , I will slit my wrists in court in protest, to symbolise the pain and suffering that CAPITA is creating on the expense of people's money, on the expense that people have been lied to, and on the expense that people have been made ignorant of the atrocities of war CAPITA funded in the past , the present and the thermo nuclear war of the future if it should happen. If it does happen, I would rather have a clear conscious that I did not fund and support the extinction and annihilation of humanity, when this planet gets torn apart by multiple nuclear explosions of bombs aggravating the more hazardous explosions of nuclear power stations into an asteroid belt that would lie between Venus and Mars.

On the good news side of things, I would be going to a meeting in April, focusing on the Extraterrestrial Embassy, because it is getting more and more important that it should be built for the sake of humanity and all life on this planet. That there is a future for us, our children, a future of love, peace , prosperity, exploration , and creativity. Saying this makes me so emotional... because I want there to be a future , and when the extraterrestrials land officially and publicly , the doomsday clock be a thing of the past.

Time has moved on, and My art is the only thing that gets me through life and so on.
Sharing it is slowly becoming more of a problem as the freedom of expression slowly ebbs away.
hard to believe its 3 minutes to midnight(doomsday clock of atomic board of scientists), remembering in the past screaming in my thoughts when posting warnings about planet issues and current predicaments , that this may happen , and half of it is already happening.
people thought I was crazy... well I would rather be called crazy than have to be called stupid or dumb or even ignorant.
What is terrible is knowing what will happen , begins to happen as the days go by.

The art I do well, I do it for myself mostly, to catch happiness as it slowly fades in the dreams of freedom. Goodness I hate the news , talks of wars, drama, economy , all the boring and depressing bullshit...

When I look back... I was outgoing .... I wanted to change the world, save it from its doom like a superhero.... wish for thinking...
Well artists dream...
I dream for a better future for all, of peace, love and prosperity.

Elftown still has that homely feel like when I first joined. Elfwood... has lost that beauty in its GUI ... like everything else, its gone flat, boring and 2D...
Oh well I have been distracted a bit from my art a bit by warframe... nice game to just escape shit ... and farm for digital collectables in the void...

when searching the web ... its nauseating that the bullshit gossip drama people wrote about me sticks like shit on a carpet... A lot I have shared personally... is hard to find, well you can say that socially this planet runs on gossip... e.g. Facebook being the most popular piece of shit on the web.

Anyway I am sharing a few thoughts, yes I am going on holiday. My thoughts is about people. I simply don’t understand them, and why they would make an issue on the basis that I am different than the norm n many cases. To be honest what I have been through in the past, I find it very difficult to get on with people… It confuses me that they at first claim to be friends and then leave, in social media the same shit. Subscrive/Follow, and then unsubscribe/unfollow for no particular reason.

For some unknown reason they expect me to visit them all the time (IRL people), but they never show up at my place. WTF are they afraid that they would be trapped in my alien lair or something ? The same thing with my relatives here. They always expected me to visit, but they never , not once even visited my place for a cup of tea. This why I am just fed up with people. Been ostracised for being different, bullied at school, banned from websites, the list goes on. Even the way I feel about people , and the fear of being hurt , I have developed the point not to get to close or develop a friendship on fear of being hurt and rejected. The more I feel upset about life in general , the more I shy away from people, in fear that what I may speak out my mind something might come out the wrong way.

Then there is the belief bit, because I do not believe in a god aka atheist, and understand it does not exist from analysing life , events details, evidence , including extraterrestrial sources…. the whole reality of it all is that god is a made up delusion invented by people , because they dismissed the questions , and thrown them into the god box. Then this gets exploited by the religio political elite to control people as commodities. I don’t know, living on this planet is one fucking nightmare.

Then whats is worse when I openly share my experiences, and what I understand about life the universe and everything…. I simply know, because I felt, touched , seen and something that is physically real, such as someone from another solar system. Then also looking and understanding and thinking about things, rather than blindly accepting something….. they get classified as “my beliefs” wtf… they are not my beliefs, because the idea of faith is not involved, I did not accepted just because blah blah blah. I simply know and understand because of what I have experience , and what I can relate to with comparing similar real things. Its like trying to tell someone in the middle ages that the planet is a sphere and not flat like a piece of cardboard.

Thats my rant for the moment, and I am better at doing what I do best , that is working on my art …. if people don’t love me, I am sure some people love and appreciate my work, not all unfortunately because life is shit and it isn’t a bed of roses and neither its a utopia like the majority of the galaxy… basically planet earth is nothing but a shithole created by assholes, where it could have been a utopia. I simply wish my life was not so shit and a fucking failure…. having to try and live through the bullshit people done to me since the time I had been mutilated a month after I had been born….. then people religious , judicial or political, throw obstacles and hurdles , to prevent me from getting almost close as fixing things… Austerity, NHS cuts, Street Preachers annoying me, Muslim men intimidating me and the list goes on…

If I was left alone , maybe things would have been better…
I know for sure I would have been happier , because my body would not feel vandalised, exploited because people believed god exists ,and what they did to me , made them right with god, by believing they fixing mess what the devil did with the fallen angels… yes they believe the extraterrestrials are fucking fallen angels… depressing when the same shit is flooding youtube…..

Leaving my parents did not escape me from the batshit …. its here there and everywhere….. and on youtube, just search extraterrestrials …. you see it, some of them go as far to believe airplanes and helicopters have pig demons.

I managed to get myself a Macbook Pro Retina 13" It is lighter to carry and a little bit faster but more or less the same perhaps than the gamers laptop which is considered old now... So roughly the same power with a portion a bit better and much faster overall performance. Which is great because it was killing my bad back while carrying it from home to the studio and back, and could not manage , and used the late 13" 2008 Macbook to connect to my PC remotely for the 3D stuff, but it could manage the 2D stuff.


Old Machine:
1)Lenovo Think Pad/idea pad (21/10/2011 - release date)
£800
Intel i3 CPU 2 cores/4 threads. 2.3 GHz
Intel Intel® HD Graphics 3000 +
Nvidia GeForce GT 520M

RAM 8GB
Storage 500 GB (normal hard drive)

Heavy to carry with bad back from home and to the studio and back.

New Machine:
2)Apple Macbook Pro
£1099
(xx/10/2013 -release date)
Intel i5 CPU 2 cores/4 threads. 2.6 GHz

Intel® Iris™ Graphics 5100

RAM 8GB
Storage 512GB flash storage (SSD)
lighter than late 2008 Macbook.

I would be for a few months stinging on my cash to pay off the credit card back. The reason being the credit card was the best choice of getting the new Mac computer , because apple would not allow me to have a financial plan because of not being an employed artist, rather I do art freelance for the art more than the money, while living on disability.

Anyway, I am happy with the new computer so far, and think it would be perfect for my 2D work with the Retina display, and can manage just about the same as the PC with the 3D work... but I am planning when the credit card is fully payed off, to build a gamers desktop PC , that I would use specifically for watching movies , gaming and 3D rendering, after modelling and manipulating 3D art on mac.

Always in my existence on this planet, my life has been kind of stuck in a Limbo in getting getting my gender issues fixed up, trying to fix up the mistakes my parents did to me a month after I had been born. I have forgiven them and understand it was not completely their fault, its the beliefs they followed. They believed they were doing the right thing, because they believed it was right with god and their interpretation of an iron age book. I put all my frustration and anger against the belief of god and religion because it indoctrinates people…they they perform barbaric acts of genatile mutilation, to murders and executions…

When discovering and being true to myself and the way I developed , I confronted them hoping that I would get things up, but 11 years of my life was stuck in limbo of getting medical help at all, until i moved and lived on my own…Moved to the UK, since there was no NHS… and I would be dead today from poisoning of the liver with the incorrect medication, because they do not have NHS, only medical insurance called medical aid. I moved hoping that I could get fixed up and just get on with my life without any obstacles and bullshit. Well at the moment things have started to stagnate again with the people I rely on for help, the NHS… The UK is becoming politically unstable with cuts and austerity causing major fuck-ups, which effect the NHS as well. The evulation process of getting an operation to get fixed up is a problem, with the poor understanding that not moving forward has been the cause of depression and self harm, and as well getting me into unwanted trouble and attracting unwanted attention, because I am sick and tired of living through life with people making and creating life to be complicated with so much bullshit.

3 months ago, I guess things were progressing, and I was preparing myself for the operation, but due to my depression and self harm , this is now affecting my progression. What is frustrating is the medical people don’t seem to understand that me not moving forward had been the cause of me ending on shit street in the first place, and it seems like My life is stuck in a vortex, and with the political fuck ups happening I don’t think things are going to be moving forward, and I feel that I am stuck again like I was before I moved, with the help being condition-based. I really need to get this done, before all hell brakes loose as you know there is only a 99% chance of humanity wiping itself from existence in the not to distant future. I would like to have these gender issues solved before anything worse would happen, as it is preventing me ever getting intimate and developing a relationship with others who are open to it, so that I don’t feel to alone on this crappy planet, and enjoy the remaining years of my life without any bullshit… I am sick and tired of fapping myself…. and being afraid of myself because of what I am and the hurt and rejection people act out on because of their ignorance and lack of understanding… that I was born differently and then mutilated …

I don’t know why people seem to just let me suffer like this… where I am forced to live , but in pain and agony, and use the symptoms of depression and self harm which caused this in the first place , is used against me as some sort of penalty for cost cutting… just because they do not seem me as an individual and they treat me on pure speculation of a textbook full of assumptions, ignoring the nitty gritty and my feelings and choices, that I want to do this, and get it done and over with so I can move on my life, and just have to worry about my back problems and other issues like everyone else.

I don’t know, just needed to voice my thoughts about how I am doing, and it is not well, especially when I have been forced in a limbo state again…

Then having the worry about the NHS collapsing because of the political instability and cost cutting… that what has taken ages in the little steps forward would spring backward to where I was before moving… with the contribution to my PSTD trauma, where after being raped , sitting in the hospital waiting room, watching people bleed to death, with blood all over the floor… and when they died their bodies were dragged through their blood, and the floor got help to be cleaned… instead of the patients getting help so they could live.. because they were refused life saving medical help because they had no money or Medical Aid/Health insurance….

Tonight I had a disturbing dream where I was killing a cat, and I woke up disturbed , traumatized , woke up disturbed ... It has made me edgy and snappy and irritable. I am wondering if my mind connected to a psychopath out there who really did kill a cat. I think I connected to the killer in my sleep, and I was seeing them kill cat with their eyes and their own hands. What happened is they grabbed the cat, put it in a pillow case or bag and started throwing it around, jumping on it and squeezing and pulling the cats' legs , and then dump the dead cat on the lawn .



I then did a google search in the news section and discovered two sources of brutal mass cat killings



http://fox59.com/2014/07/16/dozens-.....ward-for-tips/



http://www.nydailynews.com/news/cri.....icle-1.1859411



Apparently the police are trying to catch the suspects.

I cant grab much detail from the dream, since I don't live in the area and this is happening in the United States.



I myself have a cat, and they are lovely companions , and my cat is my best friend, and i don't know how people can do such a thing to an innoscent animal capable of giving love and healing.

Its been a long time since I started making my own music, and a long way first remixed samples in sound recorder, winamp, windows media player in windows 95. My first official music creation software was eJay, which I know now is a pile of shit. Then moved to mod plug edit(spreadsheet editing) with ejay and magix music creator. Then it started to grow exponentially when I got my own midi input keyboard , since the music I made was loops, edits and typing into the tedious spreadsheets of mod plug edit. Songs that took me months to make, now took me a day to make, and could just play them in. Then I had moved to Ignite, and Magix Music Maker with FL Studio. My days of making music on the PC are gone…always found the PC tedious, and FL Studio remind me of re-vamped Mod Plug Edit for creating and mixing XM files... I now all do it on the mac with Garageband, Ignite and Logic pro X. Now that my music is more flexible and intricate and can compile complete song /tune/track within a day… one thing that was lacking, was the quality of the sound for all devices, be it phones and tablets, to laptops and MacBooks, to PCs and iMacs, to hi-fi systems and Home entertainment. The sound when played through my devices sounds perfect, but when played by other people which it was intended to be , distributed for people , free to enjoy, free to use, as a gift to humanity as much as my artwork… the results are not pleasant some people could nearly hear anything … I think I now may have cheaply solved the problem… instead of relying on pc speakers and tinny laptop speakers….

I got myself a beats pill speakers… will using it make me produce a better sound ? I hope so.. As small as they are, the sound that comes from them gives me a larger range and when finalising my music to be exported , I think my music may be pleasant for all. I think anyone can agree compiling music on laptop speakers and pc speakers is a nightmare, where over use on the equaliser, is performed where you made the sound , sound perfect through pathetic little speakers…. but when playing through something better such as a home stereo or entertainment system… the base screws it all up. Equaliser base peak overdone...

well my deafness in my left ear also may contribute to my music sounding shit… but i think the pill is the cure.

I think thats now over for me…. I am so amazed of this sound that comes from this little thing… I hope my shit will shape up… I can't get anything bigger than louder than the beats pill, it would hassle the neighbours.

Freemasonry refer to women as being:
anathema  
1. women to be detested or loathed: That a woman is an anathema to the cult.
2.women to be accursed or consigned to damnation or destruction.
3.a formal ecclesiastical curse involving automatic excommunication.
4.A imprecation of divine punishment.
5.A curse; execration.

Freemasons : An Earth based middle semi-public hierarchy of the religio political elite.This all male theistic cult that segregates other genders, like the above groups of the hierarchy, Is the driving force of resulting the extinction of all life on the planet they reside on, they infiltrated governments, political private organisations such as the CIA,almost all banks that handle the earth currency system and they farm earth citizens as human capital in the primitive Earth society .

They are regularly known as secret society, and even master planned well known president assassination of Kennedy, the destruction of Nikola Tesla's research which set back the science and technology evolution of the planet, and their exoplotical involvement was gunning down and murder of extraterrestrial visitors, and the surviving off world artists and scientists were interrogated and starved to death for technology such as the surviving one of the four exploring scientists of the well known area 51 case.

Actually, with anxiety and fear of trauma , I forgot to subtract the years from the time when I estimated that life on this planet would end up being extinct as being 26 years… time has flown since I mentioned it, the real figure is , that humanity has only 21 years left.  Since nothing has been done to fix the environment, stop the Fukushima radiation…. and governments etc still occupied with stupid wars, and their impact of war in the past has resulted more war in this present.

Humanity has 21 years left before extinction date,
Extraterrestrials are offering to help….. negative perception of extraterrestrials still outweighs the positive perception due to the anti-ET agenda, ignorance, and intolerance of extraterrestrials...

Its already happening, and then it would be the land animals, and then eventually human beings…. 21 more years left...
http://themindunleashed.org/2014/06.....ast-month.html

gone in reclusion for a while... got some arts to do ... yep keeping my distance from people again... I wish I had a spaceship to fly off to another solar system...

Yes the Flat invasion from the 2D universe has claimed your electronic devices,from the realms of Facebook first invading your Google chrome-books, then your android devices, your , your Windows PC in full retro at the the Metro, and now on your Apple OS devices such as your iPad, iPhone and iPod touch and through the internet of certain websites... They have not invaded the Apple Mac, the last hope in Cyberspace. Can we all count on MacOS to save cyberspace falling into the evil two dimensional realm of existence ? Will Linux be the saviors of Cyberspace ?

The reason why I post this and express my rant creatively as a science fiction action script, is because I find it very annoying and hard to use applications when designed in two dimensions removing any aspects of skeuomorphic design, which had been part of the technological evolution of cyberspace giving an extra dimension of space in all operating systems and applications which was originally invented by Steve Jobs on this planet. Soon as he ended his life, so did his invention or did it ?

I find it diificult to use a device when its designed to be flat and boring , too plain and simple like being in an anesthetic asylum of a post 1984 apocalyptic enforcement of the Grammaton Cleric of Equilibrium ...

I suffer from two dimensional asphyxiation which causes anxiety and panic not being able to feel the application when using it at rapid speed. The design forces you to slow down to enforce you to determine what is clickable and what is not, what is your file work and data and what is the application itself, because it has become blurred, making you screw up your work, your document, your message, and so on if you should pick up the pace and being productive in what you do.

This one of the reasons why I don't like windows 8, and wish to migrate to Apple Mac completely because of this. Even though the design of apple is in greys and whites lacking colour to rare parts of the Graphical user Interface, it has depth, shadow and shape, that one can easily define and navigate through it. Windows had caught up with this in windows 7 also providing an extra bonus of adding colour to your operating system world, but now has flushed it down into the 2D sphincter of space-time, where you feel so squeezed with 2D claustrophobia.

If Apple decides to move into the 2D realms of Flatness with its next OSX or OSXI , I would rather remain with Mountain Lion or Mavericks until this 2D Apocalypse is over... already some aspects such as the calendar and notebook have been partially invaded by the anesthetic simplistic simple minded simplists of the 2D realm of lower dimensions. I hope they take note of the complaints , rants and frustrations of users who find the Flat design harder to use and think up of a fairer design , and make peace with beings of higher dimension and the beings of lower dimension and end this invasion now.... and bring peace and clarity to Cyber Space.


channeled from :o s skeuomorphic , a being of higher dimensions

I just finished playing the Mass Effect Trilogy with all the ME2 and ME3 DLCs, for inspiration on the next couple of art projects particularly the Asari. In order to get a better selection for the end of the Trology, I had to patch the Assets of Galactic Readiness from 50% to 100%, since I did not wish to arse with the multiplayer because it would slow down my progress through the game, and secondly, I would have to rely on a wi-fi connection, regardless if I wanted to play on my laptop in places that had no wi-fi. Then the Android app, which I have, I did not wish for it to interfere with my ME3 , because I only play on my tablet when I am bored, waiting in queues or waiting for a buss or train, and the app has no female character option, I play it just to kill time. Then lastly facebook, wtf, why should I be forced to return to facebook, which I now boycott because of their discrimination against my cosmic culture and art , an its ties with the NSA ? Facebook should not interfere with my ME3 gameplay...I did not wish to deal with this money diseased nonsense, problem solved, downloaded patch. The gameplay of ME1 was very close to Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic without lightsabers and force powers were biotics and light side and dark side as Paragon and Renegade. In ME2 it deviated a little, and ME3 it almost deviated completely from the game-play style, but retaining the "world of Mass Effect".

It was an overall an intricate well developed story through mostly ME1, ME2 and most of ME3, with the ending story script being rushed and given the axe to close the trilogy, for the rollout of a new generation and characters of ME4, which has been said would include the successes of Shepard and her work as a historical reference, where new comers to the world of Mass Effect would not get the visual idea and relate to the events. A lot of real life facts , theories and stories outside had been researched in the construction of the story which I would cover further along in this discussion.



First off the trilogy had a good story line, and you could save and transfer your saves and experiences into the sequels for consistency. I agree with the majority of fans and players out there the end of Mass Effect 3 was a rushed job with a depressing ending in almost all outcomes. Which I feel that there should have been an survival ending that the character you romanced with, you retire and life happily ever after in a secluded solar system, for me it was my femShep and Liara, if "Synthesis" or "Destroy" endings were chosen.



I played through three possible endings ignoring the "Control" option because it supports slavery of conscious synthetic sentient beings which would arrise future conflict and war, which was the Illusive Man's idea, when looking at it logically, thus repeating a whole new cycle of cycles, where shepard were no better than the Leviathan, who created the first Reapers. "Synthesis" and "Refusal" were the most peaceful solutions in the over all end, where lives but your own was not saved in Synthesis, and well almost everyone dies in Refusal, with an ending of an Asari woman that sounded like Samara telling a story to a child, after Liara's Time capsule was shown displaying a holographic interface of historical records, to save all life forms in the next Reaper cycle.

"Synthesis" was poorly concluded, with the symbiotic integration of synthetic and organic life forms, and had added more fictional baggage than a scientific relationship to widen the gap of fiction and non-fiction of real life which was used to add realism to the story. Since I feel it should be co-existence instead, since it is highly impossible and unrealistic with the plants on the planet the Normandy crashed landed on to contain nano tech circuit patterns on them in a split second as the energy pulse smashed through the Mass Relay stargate things. Which appears more like fantasy magic than science fiction. Synthesis was my first ending choice in the game, since I wanted overall peace and coexistence of sentient conscious synthetic life forms such as the Reapers, Geth, EDI and organic sentient conscious life forms such as Humans, Asari, Krogen , Tourin etc. But Shepard dies and cannot live the rest of her/his life in retirement with Liara(or the person you romanced). The death of Shepard is truely uncertain, her/his body was destroyed, but her/his consciousness was transferred through the entire galaxy, which leads to the possibility that Shepard can be re-animated into existence with a different body. Peace had been my objective since ME1, and in ME3 I had managed to make the Quarians and Geth live in harmony and coexistence, where the Geth helped the Quarians boost their immune systems , to live without suits in the future, including the success of saving the Krogan from the genophage.



The second option I chose was "Destroy" which was the objective of the game trilogy, which was the idea or orders of Anderson, the Alliance and the Citadel Council, who was with you since ME1 in story line and was the prime objective(even when you sacrifice the council to save Citadel civilians in ME 1 with Sovereign, with the possibility of a new less secretive council that called "bill shit" with your evidence of the Reapers, which never materialized and secrecy remained . Says who would the cycle repeat itself again when you united Quarians and Geth and respected EDI as a friend and companion in your squad as long as you lived and changed career as a council representative of the future with Liara ? A pity they were killed not by you, but by the catalyst , providing you with limited options, where your goal was to save the galaxy , organics and synthetic sentient beings, and hoped to find an option to reason with the Reapers like you managed with the Geth. ME3 had saving Earth in mind and not the Galaxy, like ME1 and ME2 as emphasixed in its game advertizing. Shepard survived, and if died could be re-cloned back to life again. The evidence in the short ending, is when Liara or your romanced character did not place your name on the board with the names of the dead with the people that died through the entire trilogy. Liara would have intel how to re-clone Shepard back to life, since she was the new Shadow Broker. I was not happy with this ending because EDI and the Geth were eliminated with the Reapers, where the offcial target was the Geth, and Shepard's objective was to most likely make peace with the Reapers, and the Geth would help as well, even when the possibility of Liara and Shepard would live together.



Then the third option was "Refusal" by dialogue (since some people shot the child hologram to get this option), because I had a better solution than the three which were programmed or provided by the crucible. That is was the cycle to end, the Reapers to leave the organics alone, and that nothing gets lost and that I could retire and live with Liara. The options was not enough and why should a Reaper consciousness decide the fate of the galaxy and my own Shapard's fate when I have better solutions such as "Co-existence" ? If i successfully managed peace with the Geth, it should not be to hard for the Reapers (aka the old machines). But the catalyst would not allow it, and said "So Be It" with the voice changing from a child's to one that sounded like Sovereign , a Reaper , and threw a tantrum like a big baby , enforcing the extermination of life and repeating a new cycle, which ended with Liara's time capsule and the end with an Asari woman which sounded like Samara the Justicar talking to a child, which I think is Samara, since an Asari can live for a 1000 years or more. It would be silly to to say its Liara using the voice of Samara. If this is so, then this ending was rushed and poorly thought out too.



Basically the catalyst was Reaper code constructed within the Citadal, and wanted things to end on their terms and not have an ear for an even better solution regardless on what you have achieved and what you can achieve to make peace with the Reapers, since you even made friends with the Leviathan, the creators of the Reapers. The Reapers, think they are wise and godlike and have high-egos and think they are indestructible, throw out demands rather than listening first, and discussing a better solution, they dish out solutions on a plate and you have to choose regardless if you have even a better solution. Thus the crucible's catalyst Reaper-mind consciousness was narrow minded and analy retentive, and should have experienced life in the galaxy and not be stuck within the computer systems of the Citadel, where the council was not fully open and transparent to the people of the galaxy.



So what are the real life associations or ideas that got thrown into this game to add to its realism to insight game-play ? Yes it is more realistic than Star Wars, because Star Wars storyline exists in a galaxy far far away. This storyline is based on this galaxy we all live in, the Milkyway galaxy as it is called on this planet with real-life locations and star systems, such as the Horse Head Nebula, Arcturus and so on. real photos of the nebula and star clusters had been used, together with the Drake Equation, results at the time from the Kepler exoplanet discovery results and so on. The develpers went out their way to retrieve secretive data which is partially true, some partially false and some uncertain from UFO/Extraterrestrial historical records through the ages before the Russian revolution and some of these can be found in book "Alien races secret russian book". Amazing how in depth research the game desiners went to make the science fiction as realistic as possible, and all of this basically went down the toilet in the ME3 endings lol. I also presume they may have searched other places on the internet within the alternative media around Ufology websites, Starseed websites,Raelian websites, and alternative spirituality websites when designing the extraterrestrial people, cultures, worlds and characters since information was closer to home to Bioware as its based in Canada.

So you may be wondering does the possibility of blue skinned monogendered Asari beings exist ? Well since its a science fiction story and includes a lot of researched facts and theories they were pretty close to reality. The Asari home planet is situated in the Athena Nebula(fictional name of the M20 Trifid Nebula) which is located on the Sagittarian arm of the Milky way galaxy if one had to travel to through the Pleiades near Asterope in a direct line to M20 (if looking at milky-way galaxy from above) , where the WOW signal originated from, which in fact mimics the human genome in sequence patterns, and many of Hindu Vedic mythology shows symbols for the Nebula containing the planet well moon of Krishina(very similar to solar system shown in the movie Avatar which is Binary) and all the blue skinned deities. However the fictional Thessia is not a moon, in a single star solar system Parnitha but has an inhabitable moon and two other moons. 3 moons to be precise.

Then monogendered beings, well the Asrari reproduce sexually and "technically" not female, and can mate with males and females from any extraterrestrial ethnicity and have successful reproduction without genetic engineering. This is not far fetched, since hermaphrodite people and animals do exist on this planet. Most commonly known are snales and slugs aka mollusks which may include octopuses. The game developers reflect the Asari as mollusc-like invertebrates adopting their hermaphrodite characteristics and other physical attributes such as their skins. In ME3 you can see their skin texture of that similar to large snails. They also have head tentacles, that decorate their heads, as in the romance scene of ME3 " "I don't want any tentacle creature inside your head...except me" :- Liara. "Asari :- Venerupis philippinarum (Asari - Japanese Name ) is a mollusk and some of them have blue shells with vague patterns with similar to the skin patterns on Mass Effects Asari people.

So there is this zoological reference of snails for the character design combined with the ancient astronaut theory of Hari Krishna.

Then the culture of the Asari very much similar to another real extraterrestrial people, who live in a binary star system on a planet with three moons and are all hermaphrodite.

Then Tali , the Quarians, unmasked would reveal the face to the extraterrestrial characters I have drawn, large oval eyes , pointed eyebrows, mostly dark hair have been witnessed by a variety of people, who most of the time wear a force field helmet (aka mass effect field) Since Earth's air is a bit toxic to them. Some people have called them grey-human hybrids and some people refer to them, which is the most realistic fact that they are the creators or designers of Earth people, which has a weird da ja vu feeling in the storyline, of the Quarians creating the Geth and the Geth go against their creators, vaguely similar to real life.

Resurrection by cloning and the question of cloning, aka the Lazarus Project, and brings out the fact that organic beings are organic machines no different from synthetic machines and robots who have consciousness and are self aware. and causes the debate or idea on what is the consciousness what people on this planet tend to refer to as the "soul", which is also part of the story line of the movie "Avatar". Tree of Souls which is explained by Grace as "The Navi upload their consciousness into trees, and these trees are like a network"

As you know in ME2 , Shepard had been resurrected by retrieving small cell samples, and her/his consciousness retained thanks to wearing a helmet and , thanks to Liara's persistence and reasoning when asking Cerberus to achieve the task. This is possible and has been partially achieved in secret by private research groups and top secret agencies in the industrial military complex , who have been experimenting with avatar soldiers. A clone who has not had their consciousness saved and transferred from original body to cloned body, will not be exactly the same person, since what they learned and experienced in life would be lost. This is expressed when Shepard meets his/her clone who tries to steal the Normandy and seems to lack all the knowledge of Shepard even from ME1, and seems to be hurting and upset, that the Shepard copy wishes to be like the original Shepard when she/he refuses help and forgiveness. Would have been nice to have two Shepards on board the Normandy.. In reality if this technology was given to the people, it would make people extend their lives or live forever, however this would be restricted to the wealthy vs those who live in poverty, creating a further social divide of society between the rich and the poor as long as money exists.

Then Biotics, well the realism of this is would be achieved by nanotechnology, but with nano-technology manipulating mass effect fields which manipulate space-time is largely science fiction, but more realistic than Star Wars, using the force. Because telekinesis is very weak , even in strong cases where people's electromagnetic fields can interfere with appliances, these are enhanced by technology such as using thought to operate computers or robotic arms. Biotics is basically a science fiction improvement of this idea.

Then the base idea of Mass Effect, its name and game play based on where most of the technology used by the inhabitants of the galaxy in this science fiction well is explained in a video actually... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwj8deuPjNE by World-famous physicist Michio Kaku, which saves me a few lines of text however much of it is inaccurate to reality, since the extraterrestrials that explore don't exploit resources and have evolved out of their destructiveness... and people still focusing on the "higgs" boson, the photon has many more "spooky" surprises and part of our everyday life. , which I feel could be better called the graviton , and when you go beyond the boson, it is made out of an array of infinite smaller things , which would meet with a pattern that represents something that exists in the larger part of existence, like a fractal, universes are parts of the fractal of infinity.

Gone off to do the Artwork... not to sure to livestream or not , well I just feel like taking it easy on it, and simply enjoy the serenity of drawing and painting.

I cant believe hearing that the black rhino is now extinct... I used too see them regularly as a child.... Just makes me want to HATE MONEY MORE AND MORE.. THOSE ANIMALS WERE MADE EXTINCT FROM MONEY DISEASE INFECTING HUMAN BEINGS

Change, is it good or bad, most cases change is good when there is improvement and evolution, an addition of something usefull... But change is bad when things get removed and cut back, causing de-evolution.

2013 has been a year of cutting out things changes... and stupid ideas... throwing away good ideas and introducing bullshit such as windows 8, youtube changes, touch screen desktops with greasy fingers, and financial and political cutbacks causing more poverty and have nots, with the richest haves getting richer.

Intersex people, when we are born on this planet, from the very first second. Our lives are not our own, our choices in life are not our own, it is governed by the public(parents&doctors&politicians&religious leaders), and our gender gets decided without our choice and free will.

Growing up, this so called over ruling of people trying to run and own our lives, from parents, to institutions, to corporations and government agencies, continues in a never ending pattern of manipulation, forcing us, trying to shape us to fit in the slave race created by the religio political bureaucrats and those who are mindlessly programmed by their delusions of law, order and belief. We are born onto this planet as natural policy violators, because our biology smashes the mispreconceptions of the whole bullshit system of the human animal farm , because we are naturally a minority that does not fit in the artificially created majority of the human exploitation animal farm of the religio-political elites.

Our existence , our right of existence blatantly debunks their bullshit, pulling the wool from the rest of the population of Earth, nudging them to wake up from the delusions on how to live, on what to think and the whole delusion to live life as a human being on this prison planet. Thats why our existence is a sore spot that naturally always tears dogmas , and so called moral delusions, that it is so important, that it makes people think…
Rather than believing bullshit programmed into them by an ignorant society,

But depending on our impact on the human society we are alien to, how many people would learn to think, and how many people would choose to discriminate by rolling out the inquisition ?

The question remains... we are the tipping point of civilization, its success or its fall, depending what happens.