Thanks for the feedback on my previous journal. I think it's clear that Patreon is not going to be a good fit for my needs. Someone pointed out that even the benefit of extra income won't magically give me more free time, and I'd be better suited finding other ways to grow as an artist.

That's not to say I won't be considering some of your other suggestions, though! Many expressed an interest in tutorials, something I've been pondering doing for a while now. FA journals would be a good place to get votes for what to settle on when I do need help making decisions, and that way everyone gets a chance to chime in even if they don't have cash to cast their vote. Plus, when the tutorials are finished, I can offer them up on sites like dailymotion linked from FA, and share supplementary files like PSDs or other material via Mega.co.nz.

So what sort of art would provide an incentive to me? I've been hard at work on a comic project (30-40 pages) that's adult in nature, and would love to try out a unique business model, but I'm faced with one of a few ways of going about it. Please give your view on which of these sounds better, or a different idea entirely.

1) Complete the comic, then post 1 to 2 pages per week, linking to a digital distribution channel (like Pulley or e-junkie) to get all of the high resolution pages immediately for a reasonable amount, like $15, or $20 at most. Eventually all pages would be up on my gallery for viewing in a readable standard resolution.

2) Same as above, but allow sales totals to determine how quickly pages are released to the public, meaning the comic could be posted in its entirety sooner (or later) then the aforementioned schedule.

3) Split the arc into a few parts (15-20 pages), so that complete packs could be put out more frequently for cheaper price, like $7 or $10, and follow either of the above variants. (3a and 3b, respectively)


What do you think?

A lot of people I know are on Patreon, a service I've scoffed at for a while as being a system for giving handouts. Friends have suggested I join and see what happens, and over time my opinion of its role changed when I became a supporter myself. I'm not sold on it, and have several concerns to address before I'd ever consider opening one up for myself.

Exclusive Content:

shinigamigirl pointed out that exclusive content can be downloaded by a person who pledges within a bracket, and they can simply retract their sponsorship before the month is up and never pay a dime. This cheats those who are actively contributing for that content. I think providing exclusive content could be a bad move if things like that could be obtained so easily through piracy or finding loopholes in the system. Not to mention, I love giving out high resolution versions of my art to everyone.

Promising Creative Incentives:

If I had a Patreon, I doubt I could promise incentives such as commission slots, sketches, etc. I work a full time job (not art related), and the added funding would more or less allow me to continue projects I'd normally shelve, or put more effort and experimentation into personal art.

Solution? Feedback?:

I'd love to give some kind of incentives that I can deliver on, but I need a bit of feedback from you. What are some incentive ideas that don't involve promising art or high resolution downloads? I've thought of a couple, so please feel free to elaborate on which sound good, or any to suggest.

- Access to art streams when I'm able to do them
- Voting from a list of choices on what personal art I draw next
- Voting on tough comic progression choices
- Providing time lapse recordings of art I work on
- Updates on works in progress


Please let me know if having a Patreon sounds like something I should look into, and incentives that could make patronage seem more meaningful, or help me in my personal progression as an artist.

50,000, wow! Thanks everyone who's watching me! Your support and viewership really help keep me going in this fandom, and I try to give back with new art and other ways of contributing. I admit, the big 50 snuck up on me, otherwise I'd have prepared a little picture for the occasion.

[NOTE: links to chat logs have been redacted in order to comply with FA policy. I am available over notes, or on Skype as videozaush if you want a version of the journal with links intact.]

I have a lot to say, and this journal is going to focus on a few important points.


Scandal

There’s been a continuing rumor for the last 3 years that I’ve been involved in a sex crime. You might classify it as a rape, coercion, or even just me being a miserable sleazy sack of shit that demands sex from random people. It all depends on who you’ve talked to, and what they’ve told you I do or how I am as a person.

On to the topic of rape. I can’t think of a more emotionally charged word, or despicable criminal act. It describes one person engaging in intercourse with another against their will. I take the subject of actual rape, rape victims, and those affected by such atrocities very seriously. That said, I also take seriously the implications of false accusation (particularly relating to violent crimes/rape), invasion of privacy, and the mob mentality that sanctions all of the above as just.

Many of you have read the leaked note to a certain site owner. It describes a fairly desperate male individual who pressures a girl into every decision she makes, using his cunning to drive her decisions and motivations, and getting verbally abusive whenever things don’t go his way. The note concludes with a list of others who are on her concern radar, and leaving little more than a “thought you should know” taste in the mouth. Also of note, the author insisted that this information be kept secret.

There’s always two sides to every story, though. I released the chat logs I’d saved from one of my laptops back in 2010 when this arose, but apparently they didn’t get around quite as quickly as I’d hoped, and I later realized that the information within them mentioned outside parties. Considering the confidential nature of some of the conversations regarding friends of mine who don’t wish to be dragged into this mess, I’m selecting relevant segments and censoring names/details.

My adventurous phase (approximately 2007-2009) were some of the craziest, and likely destructive years of my life. By destructive, I’m referring to the social improbability of having a friend with benefits, and said friendship not turning sour, though sometimes it’s life’s lessons that are the best catalyst for change.

I met [name redacted] at Califur in the summer of 2009. She had her own seller’s table next to my fiancé and I, and at that time we were in something of an open relationship. I introduced myself, and brought up the topic with her, though she explained that she and her boyfriend were in a closed relationship, and that she wasn’t into that kind of thing. I offered an art trade as well, something of the naughty variety, though she once again insisted that her boyfriend wouldn’t like that. We talked a bit, and exchanged contact information, and I didn’t hear back from her for a while.

When she did get back in touch with me, she was in the middle of a breakup with her boyfriend, and the topic of fooling around became center stage. Her opinion toward casual sex reversed almost overnight, and a planned visit to our home (for the additional purpose of touring the local art college my fiancé was currently attending) was arranged between the two of them.

Monday, September 28, 2009
[link to chat log redacted]


During the latter part of her visit, she agreed to an offer of a nude massage, and her desire to go further with it abruptly ended just before sex happened. She told me she was on her period, and I stopped. She welcomed the notion of me and my girl having our own fun with her next to us, and it concluded the evening before she went home. She and I chatted a few days later, reflecting on our experience, the sexual intensity of our conversation escalating. Her interest in making a second visit was also discussed.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009
[link to chat log redacted]


The visit planned for october never happened, which was disappointing, but another was well in the works and ever more focused on her desire to experiment with me, this time with a one on one visit.

Monday, December 28, 2009
[link to chat log redacted]


Things went well, she and I enjoyed each other’s company and all seemed well until the next morning when her ex called her and accosted her over the phone. She was pretty choked up at his words, calling her a slut, telling her that she should go back home and call off her visit with me. She and I ceased out sexual activity after that morning, and she spent the next two days just hanging out before she had to go home. I managed to get back in touch with her about a week and a half afterward, her views on casual sex with friends had changed considerably, and her ex’s opinion on the matter of what she does weighed in quite a bit more than ever before.

Monday, January 11, 2010
[link to chat log redacted]


We discussed more of her thoughts on the visit, and she insisted she didn’t have negative feelings about it. She explained that she didn’t think she could detach sex from love and emotional desire, and that her ex’s distaste for her interaction with me and my fiancé was also a part of her decision to potentially end our arrangement. I explained to her that she needn’t remain under his thumb, and the way she described him made him seem controlling of her personal life due to his jealousy. My suggestion was that she distance herself from him and see if he could handle maintaining a friendship with her where he was not in control of what decisions she made. If she wanted to continue our arrangement during FC that month, then it was entirely up to her. Neither him nor I could tell her what decisions to make, or how to live her life.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010
[link to chat log redacted]


Her interest in fooling around at the upcoming Further Confusion convention was wishy-washy, inconclusive at best, and I resigned to the fact that our days of having such fun were probably at an end. Her condition being that we use condoms if we fooled around again, and I had always expressed my preference against them, and so it came to pass that upon meeting up at the event we would keep our sexual interests out of it.

She’d asked me to bring the slotted glasses she’d left at my house during her last visit, and when I saw her in the dealer’s room to return them, we had little more than a minute or two of hellos before she had to go. I’d been under the impression she wanted to hang out some, but understood that she might have had prior or unforeseen engagements to take care of. I didn’t see her again during the trip.

I talked to her again several weeks after the convention, at which point she told me about a guy she’d fooled around with since, and how he ended up being something of an undesirable personality. Surprisingly, her ex wasn’t concerned with her sleeping around with him, and upon further discussion it had to do with his comfort level with her being involved with me and my fiancé sans the use of condoms. I discovered this when I offered another visit opportunity, and her immediate condition was that condoms be involved. I wasn’t going to budge on my preference for bare skin, so no plans came of it.

Some time later, she sent me a series of text telling me she didn’t want to be associated with me anymore. She claimed that her visit at the convention was brief because she thought I’d force her to do things with her that she didn’t want to do. I was upset about the whole thing, especially when I found out that she had in fact gotten back with her ex. She had what seemed to be a complete reversal of her opinion concerning the topic of our casual sex. Her words felt like either the justification she needed to maintain a rejuvenated relationship with her ex, or the result of a breadcrumb trail of lies and betrayal. It didn’t end well, and we called the friendship off that night over text. I didn’t want to hear from her again, and I nor did she from me.

Fast forward to the holiday break of 2010, December 19th to be exact. My fiancé had since dumped me the past spring for one of her swinging partners, an older guy with a larger income. Months later I’d met a wonderful girl, not of the furry fandom, and we’d been together for long enough that I wanted to bring her up to visit my folks for a Christmas getaway. At some point a disturbing eruption of drama had surfaced that I was involved in a rape scandal. I figured it was some kind of wild rumor going around like such things always seemed to with me. I kept my personal life off the internet as a general rule back then, leaving a massive void that could only be filled by fiction.

But this was something else. A note hacked from FA’s own administration was making the rounds, telling a confidential story of unwanted advances by a menace to society. A villainous cretin who has, or will, be a danger to others listed. Mind you, none of the people listed currently back her claim, even the ones who initially had knee-jerk reactions based on the assumption that her note was true.

Words could not describe my frustration at all the hate shouts, notes, comments, and public scorn this had brought upon me. To make matters worse, my own account had been hacked, locking me out of it and deleting all of my art submissions, and collecting my notes of correspondence between those who had contacted me, soon to be post posted on yiffyleaks.

The notes themselves posed no value toward the argument that I was the person described in her letter to the site owner. Rather, it was justified that a monster who fits the description of her letter has none of the rights of a human being, and should be made a pariah through constant ridicule and harassment. Things weren’t the same since then, and I very nearly removed myself from the fandom entirely out of pure disgust of the mob mentality.

Everything from dox dropping to death threats ensued, and I knew I needed to find some way to get these people off my back. I initiated a remote connection to one of my machines back in California, and screen capped all of the logs I had in Adium between me and this girl, asking a friend to distribute them through the usual drama channels in hopes of people reading them and realizing that her claims did not reflect the reality of our involvement. (The same logs I’m paraphrasing above.) The commotion died down with time, and I assumed that the issue had been forgotten for the most part, apart from the occasional fanatic or stalker insisting I was guilty. I could even joke about the accusation, having suffered what I consider one of the most significant shit-storms of my existence on the internet.


Conclusion

I urge those out there to think for themselves, especially regarding sensationalist media that’s nothing more than he-said-she-said, or an attacks on someone’s character using out of context quotes, or even presenting outright fictional data that is protected by anonymity and firewalls against litigation.

Regarding sexual matters, I’ve grown so much since the days of swinging and casual sex, instead choosing what I consider a more fulfilling life of monogamy, shedding much of the arrogance and self centered behavior of a young man, and growing into a sociable adult. My preference for unprotected sex suits me well within that model, but don’t let my poor choices set an example for those of you engaging in casual sex. Condoms are the most effective way of preventing the spread of STDs amongst those with multiple partners.

If you’re a victim of rape or sex crime, contact the authorities, or at the very least seek a counselor who can help you make the right decision or cope. Crimes of this nature should be dealt with by those who are able to intervene, so be brave and don’t hide away in the shadows thinking nobody cares.


[NOTE: links to chat logs have been redacted in order to comply with FA policy. I am available over notes, or on Skype as videozaush if you want a version of the journal with links intact.]

The talented writer  ceeb has put together an excellent short story based on the stag pub picture I did during Christmas. I think it complements the picture by giving a narrative on the characters involved, and I recommend that anyone who liked the picture take a look!

Story on FA:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10490683/

Story on SoFurry:
http://www.sofurry.com/view/533225

Original Picture:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9539408/

It's my 29th birthday today! (also my girl Kristine, yes, we share a birthday.)

Last night we had a little party with a dozen or so friends, played board games, watched movies, played cards, and had a blast. Kristine was generous enough to get me a Parrot Drone 2.0 (perfect for the office), and she also got me a metal replica model of the Back to the Future time machine. (the one with the Mr. Fusion) I got us premium Disneyland annual passes, and also picked her up an Ariel medium sized figure, which adds to her collection of Little Mermaid stuff.

Today, me and her are going to Disneyland to celebrate. We have dinner reserved at the Blue Bayou, and will spend a chill day at the parks just me and her.

Also, thanks everyone on twitter for the birthday wishes!

Went to Anime Expo last weekend, which was a lot of fun overall. I gotta admit, it was my first time doing AX, the only other anime con I've been to was AM2. It was absolutely enormous compared to most of the furry cons I've been to, roughly 25 times the size of Anthrocon in attendance.

Me and my girlfriend met up with  ajin earlier that day, then got some wienerschnitzel and headed to the con. Traffic was nuts, and parking was even more nuts.... ended up paying about $30 just to park, but I'll get back to that miserable part later. Once we were parked, we went into the lobby, and were promptly blown away by how many people were there. The X-Games were also going on just next door to the center, so we got to see some RallyCross on the "hotwheels" track they set up on that series of blocks.

The dealer's area was very commercial in nature, not as many people selling art or merchandise, but luckily there was an area specifically for that. Bought kristine some MLP stuff from  purplekecleon, and said hi to her, though she didn't really know me (She knows Ajin, I guess?).

I looked all over the damn place for egoraptor, but couldn't find him in the exhibit hall at all. That was kind of frustrating considering we were only going to be visiting the con that one day. I just wanted to shake the guy's hand and tell him that his videos are hilarious, but I guess he's had enough people telling him the same thing, so it's no big deal.

Ajin played some mad DDR in the game hall, and I got to see a ParaParaParadise machine being used. Man, all these Japanese guys and girls were putting on really impressive synchronized dance routines! I can't imagine devoting that much time to an arcade game.

Once the exhibit hall closed, we were pretty much done with the con. Egoraptor had an event that night, but there was no way I was going to hang around the convention center till 11pm, so we just headed to valet. Valet took for-flipping-ever to get the car back, and the area smelled like garbage and sewage.

Super fun times, and I'll probably be back next year. Anyone else attend?

I worked on a personal interest project for a friend of mine, which was I model and animate his taur character to place in a game engine I'm familiar with. Here's the fruits of that labor!

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8053564/

There are 2 idle animations going on here, with toggles for their placement via numbers. Mouselook works with WASD flying, and there's an undocumented ability to control animation speed with "." and "," and resetting with "/".

Take a look, there are Windows and Mac builds in there. Just a fun little project but I'm pretty happy with how it came out all things considered. Credit goes to the "Big environment pack" for the environment/set starting point, some minor modifications were made to that, mostly lighting adjustment.

For those of you making it this year to Further Confusion (who are also staying at the hotel), be sure to check out the hotel room card keys! I designed 4 different cards, all medical practice related. I should be posting the designs after the con as well for those that can't make it.

I won't be attending the con this year, but to all of you can make it, have fun!

***** EDIT ******

Seems the Marriott is getting 2 of the 4 designs, the Hilton is getting the other two designs. So to see/get them all I guess you'll need to do some trading with people staying in the opposite hotel!

I finally got a fire lit under my ass, and restored the rest of my scraps and moved them to the gallery. I didn't have time to enhance any of them or crop interesting thumbnails, but I figured I should at least restore them to their previous state.

I've been working in Unity a lot these days as part of an experimental branch of my job, but I found there just aren't a lot of others I can bounce ideas off of, or ask about certain problem-solving situations. I posted a query or two on my Twitter, but no real bites, that's just too narrow a slice of people.

So, anyone here a fellow Unity user?

It's my birthday tomorrow! For anyone who likes knowing those things.

Also, a few days back, I went through my scraps and restored most of them, so there should be some new (old) stuff to look at.