Yo, to all of those who have been watching, commenting, and faving lately, I appreciate it! However, I wanted to inform you that, as I've moved accounts, I'm not receiving any of these notices! I check by every so often, maybe a couple of months apart, and notice a ton of comments, favorites, and such, and even checking now I've had a couple within the last week or so!

So, as another reminder for all of you who are new watchers and missed the journal and the blatant notice on my profile, I've moved! My new account is  Zeichwolf so please, watch me there instead of here, and feel free to continue enjoying my work. :)

Alright, today and tomorrow I'll transfer my terribad art over to Zeich, and then I'll probably start cleaning out this account. Anything that hasn't been moved (non-commission stories, mostly) that you want to keep, please save them now. By Tuesday I expect to have this account stripped, and then that'll be that.

MOVING TO >>  Zeichwolf <<

Alright, so I've been thinking about this for a long time, and have finally decided now is the time to do this. I just finished a commission, and while I'm waiting for the A-OK from the commissioner I figured I'd start my account shift. For a while now I've had Zee, but the thing is that over time I've gone back to being my real 'sona Zeich a lot more often. Zee's just an OC, really. Plus, I don't just write Zee works anymore, so I figured it was time to move all of my work collectively to my original account. Not only that, but I'm moving work from a third account I've had for a few months as well; this account has contained more mature stories that I've kept separate from my Zee account simply because I try and keep it... modest, I guess? Finally decided to just let that go and be me; if I lose watchers for that, big deal. I write what I write, turn on your filter if you don't like it. ^^

Er, anyway, that turned into a bit of a ramble. Let me clarify things a bit.

1) I'm moving my work from  Zeetheinflator and  Kazuhusky to my original account,  Zeichwolf. This is going to be the account I will be using from now on for submitting my works, both written and drawn (yes, I plan on drawing a bit more once I've caught up on work that needs doing!) and I hope that you all will continue to watch me there. If not, I wish those who don't a fond farewell.

2) My new account will have a combination of Zee works, mature works, and a few freestyle works that aren't mature (I do still like to write both sides; I'm not just gonna be one-track). If you don't like mature works, which I can assure you there will be (in the context of fat, muscle, inflation, etc~) but still want to watch me, then please turn on your filter. Everyone wins!

3) After I finish this round of commissions (which should hopefully pick up a bit), I will be opening up a new line of commission work, and I will have different rules and different standards to be following. More on that when I get to it, but expect that there will be a new system of commissions after the merge to the new account. Look forward to it!

This is a heads-up, as I'll be transferring work over to  Zeichwolf from both of my current accounts over the next few days. I will not be giving any more warning than this! So let the flood of re-watches begin while I get to work. See you all on the other side soon!

EDIT: I WILL ONLY BE MOVING PICTURES, COMMISSIONS, AND MANHUNT TO ZEICH. ANYTHING ELSE WILL BE REMOVED, SAVE THEM NOW.

So... it's been a bit, and I wanted to get a new journal up. There's a few things going on that I wanted to put up.

First off, my work situation: things have gone from bad to worse; I get no help from the employees or the management, and there are days I want to scream at someone. I almost did snap the other day in front of a bunch of customers, and felt bad because I probably embarrassed my coworker with my sharp words... probably deserved it, but I still feel bad. I'm seriously considering just quitting, even if it is my only source of income at the moment; I just can't stand the stress much longer, and nothing's changing. More on that in the future.

Second, my commissions - I am working on these, I promise! T_T I know I keep saying this, but I'm almost done with the first one. I'm ashamed at the amount of time that this is taking me, which is why they were marked as free the last time I put up a journal, and that will remain; these commissions are no longer being charged for. Once more, to my two commissioners, I'm so, so sorry for the wait. I will have both of them done quite soon, due to some self-imposed deadlines that NEED to be met.

And that brings me to my third and most important thing right now; in order to meet the deadlines, I need to add to my motivation, so I'm taking my mate's advice and doing a Word War Marathon. What's a Word War? Simply put, two writers compete over a short time frame, usually 10-15 minutes, and try to get the most words down on paper for their story or whatever they're writing. Sometimes stiff competition is all you need for motivation, and it inspires thoughts in the frantic rush to outdo your opponent. So I plan on doing as many of these Word Wars as I can in the near future; if you're a writer, or interested in a writing challenge, hit me up via note or MSN, and I'll contact you however I can (MSN or AIM) and we'll go from there. I'm interested in seeing if anyone feels up to the challenge! Just know you're helping me get commissions out faster. :)

And finally, the last thing I wanted to mention, and the reason for my deadlines: in exactly one month, NaNoWriMo is coming up. For those of you who don't know what NaNoWriMo is, look it up at http://www.nanowrimo.org ! And this year, I plan on adding another win to my collection, as quickly as possible in spite of my work schedule. But in order to try and blaze through this, I need to make sure my commissions are done! And I refuse to start until they are done, as they have priority, so this is my goal and deadline. Cheer me on as I go for another 50k run this November! ^^b

I will keep my status on NaNoWriMo updated as the time comes, so look forward to it then.

So the last few journals have been pretty upbeat, but now it's time for the roller coaster to slide down the other way. Bit of a rant-y post, and a bit of emotional venting, even if some of it is nonsensical. Just bear with me if you want to read through this.

First off, work sucks lately. Because of some new scheduling thing our hours are all over the place, and rarely do we overlap so our constantly-busy cafe is often overrun with only two people on duty at the time. We have one person trying to keep up with food orders while the other tries to run the register, but we're constantly interrupted by people who complain about no ice (ice machines have been broken), or else not having something for them RIGHT THEN despite the fact that we're busy and have a line of 20+ people. It's very frustrating. Atop that, we're supposed to make pizzas for the case in the back (i.e. frozen pizzas so families can pick them up and take them home to bake) every day, and that's anywhere from 25-30+ pizzas on an average day. Generally we're too busy to do them during the day anymore, what with having so few people on shift, which means whoever is closing has to make them. 25-30 pizzas is roughly 2-3 hours of work, and since closing starts at 8:30, that means JUST the pizza making takes until 10-11ish. And THEN cleaning happens, and since it's usually one person on closing now, I've been at work as late as 1:00 AM because there's just so much to do and not enough help. It's REALLY frustrating.

Second, home life is just as bad as ever, if not worse. My dad's temper's been getting really bad lately, and I'm worried that it's going to get to the point of physical abuse. Since I'm right next door to my parents' room, and the walls are paper-thin, I hear all of the arguments, which is mostly him tearing her down emotionally, calling her names, etc. I constantly have my phone nearby if I need to call the police, but the emotional stress is really getting to me of late. I swear if I did not have my IRL friends and my boyfriend, I would probably have hung myself or something, in all seriousness. I can't stand this, most days. I broke down driving home one day from work, talking to Zy on the phone, and frankly I'm afraid that I could break down again at any time. Doing so at work, for example, could be bad.

Third, and probably most unreasonably, I've been having "problems" with my online friends. Don't get me wrong, I find many of you guys to be my friends, and I enjoy our conversations. But the problem is that most of you have your own lives, and that means you're busy or often away. I don't get a lot of conversation in because I've not been in the emotional state to start them, and since people are busy (I'm not blaming you folks, you have lives too!) that means that I don't talk to people often. Generally I sit online and get maybe one or two conversations a day tops aside from talking to Zy daily. And those other conversations die pretty quickly because the people get distracted, or I'm not sure what to say, or we just have nothing to talk about. That means I tend to get pretty lonely when Zy can't be around, which combined with my home life and my overall stress causes me to really swing into depressions. Again, I'm not blaming any of you. Just sort of venting/rambling here.

But yeah, this is what's been going on with my mental state lately. I'm falling apart a lot, getting little done, and pretty much living in a daze of late. I just find myself waiting for life to happen, nothing else.

For those who are waiting on commissions, by the way, I will get them done, but as of this point they are free of charge. I have wasted a TON of your time getting them done, and I haven't even finished the first one. No charge at this point, and I won't accept pity money ("Oh, you did the work, here's your payment anyway." "Oh, I don't mind paying.") or gifts or donations or anything. It's a matter of pride, one of the few things I have of late. I will try and force myself to get them done and out of the way. My apologies again for the delays.

Signing off for now. Take care, folks.
~Zeich

First off, sorry for everyone who's been trying to keep up with me. I know I pretty much vanished for the last little bit, but I have a good reason for it! So let me give you all a heads-up on what's been going on.

First off, I finally managed to snag a job! It's not a huge job or anything, and it's only part-time (but up to 32 hours a week at 8.40/hr isn't bad!) but it's a job and I have money coming in. I'm working at the cafe at a Sam's Club, which is pretty fun. I spent all day making pizzas, and today went by so fast. It's a lot harder than it sounds, but I'm so busy that I barely notice. What I do notice, however, is how sore my poor feet get. This wuff has not had to stand up for so long in one place for a very, very long time, and so doing so for seven hours with only a half hour for lunch and two fifteen minute breaks was... well, exhausting. Totally not because I'm a fat wuff and it's hard to stand up long anyway. Totally.

What this means is that my already-delayed commissions are going to get delayed more as I'm getting a ton of hours lately and I'm usually too tired when I get home to do much writing. I come home, crash in front of the comp, and game for a bit before resting. I will get some done on the days I got off, but that's pretty much saying that my already-slow commissions are gonna be reaaaaaaaally slow. If people wanna cancel I understand, but I'll continue to work on them anyway if not.

On another positive note, my birthday's on Saturday. :D July 7! Mark the day, bring lots of cake! And expect to watch me eat it all, because fat wuff gets unnaturally hungry (for him) on his birthday and tends to pig out. :P

So yeah! All good on my front for once.

Geebus, is it that time of year again already? Time is going by so fast lately, especially now that I've finished school, and the days seem to just be melting together. July 7th, a little less than three weeks away, is my birthday, and I'll be a whole 22 years old... considering most journals I see put people at 19/20, it's really making me feel old... even if it's only two years. @.@

Well, that and a bunch of factors like my sore back and my constant sleepiness. Yeah, I'm old already. :(

Dunno what to really make of birthdays anymore, honestly. When I was younger I always wanted games and toys; I had so many wants and desires when I was a kid. But now that I look at my birthday, I see it as a day where I'm happy with every year I've been around. I haven't asked for anything for my birthday this year because frankly I can't think of anything I want, and besides which I'm content with what I've got. I guess I'll just enjoy the money this year and be happy with that.

So yeah, random birthday journal, dunno what to put for it but I always feel obliged to whenever it gets within a few weeks. XD

Warning: Sappy journal ahead!

It's been three long, wonderful years now since the day Zylos and I met online, and while it seemed silly that two people several states away could form a relationship as strong as those around us, between two people who had never met and only knew each other from our words. But despite the distance, despite the strangeness between us, something brought the two of us together to the day that Zylos asked me in person to be his mate. It was a strange feeling, being asked like that, as I've had no dating experience, no relationships, nothing. It was an odd first date, and yet, despite it being the first, it's been the best in my life. And today marks a very special day because of that.

Today marks the third year since the day I said yes.

In three years, a lot has happened, and I can recount it all because every moment is a happy memory. In the three years I've visited him several times, and he's done the same for me. We've held each other, we've played games and pranks on each other. I went on my knee in person and asked him to be my mate when I visited him for the first time, and he accepted with tears in his eyes. We've had our fights, but we've had our reconciliations too. We've had our disagreements, but at the same time we've had days where we're so similar it's scary. It's hard to really describe in words just what every one of these three years has meant to me, so instead I'll show it in another way, with just a handful:

To Zylos, my mate, my love, and the person who's made the biggest and best impact on my life: I love you. Thank you for three wonderful years together, and I hope we have many more as we move to the next chapter of our lives, when you come down here and make the last distance between us go away. You really are the one for me, and I am eternally thankful that I found you. Again, I love you. <3

Happy Anniversary, hon. <3

Alright, so I had my whole "woe is me, this is my problems" journal last time, but now I'm doing something about said problems. I need to start saving up as much money as I can, in order to save up and get out of here in a timely manner. I'll likely be doing JobCorp, which will also line me up with a job once I've finished there, so I don't have to worry about housing and bills for a few months yet (and I'll have a job then to handle them). But in the interim, I need to get some money for if I need to leave my home in a hurry, so commissions are opening up again.

---

The usual rules apply to my commissions:

1. First and foremost READ THE COMMISSION RULES IN MY PROFILE. Anyone who disregards the rules, especially as to what I will and will not write, will be given a flat-out no. I'm fairly flexible in what I can write, but please don't push it.

2. If you want a commission, send me a note. If it's within my rules, then I'll add you to my queue. Things to include when you send me a note:
-Any characters you want in the story. Include references if you have them, but if not, make sure to include written descriptions of them, including any special traits or abilities they may have, unusual markings or clothing, etc.
-The situation! I don't want to get suggestions like: "Oh, I just want you to write a story where [insert character here] gets fattened up." I want more detail! Sure, I can make up a good portion of the plot but I'd like to know a little more about what you want to see! Do you want a specific scenario, or a specific means of growth? Then tell me! You don't need to make a whole story yourself to describe it, just give me some details!
-Any page limitations, if you cannot afford the upper ranges of the price range (see my price list on my profile).

3. Just be patient! Writing these stories isn't hard per se, but at the same time, I've got other obligations that come first and foremost. Be assured that I plan on working hard on all of your pieces to get them done in a timely manner.

---

Now there's a few new caveats to my commissions this time around that I'm doing so I don't get overburdened again; I felt terrible with my cancellations last time, and I hope not to do that again:

-I'm only opening up Two slots at a time, and until BOTH are finished, no new ones will be opened up, so I can judge if I'm ready for a round of commissions. Life is still messy here so I don't want to overburden myself again.
-If you were one of my three cancellations from the last round of commissions, remind me that you were one if you want to re-commission me, and I'll take $5 off of the final price as an apology for my cancellation last time.

Again, if you have any questions, please note me. Thank you in advance, those who commission me.

This is gonna be a pretty heavy message from me, so bear with it if you want to read through it. If not, I suggest you close this journal and go elsewhere.

There have been a lot of things going on lately for me, and despite the fact I've seemed a lot more chipper lately to those whom I have been talking to, things have been getting really bad here. For those who don't talk to me and might not know me that well, I've had a mixture of serious self-confidence issues, recurring depression, and problems at home. The last is what has been really getting out of hand lately, and the reason I'm posting up this journal. I need a chance to vent what is going on here and just get it off of my chest. I will get to the "Potential Unavailability" part of the journal later on.

The situation here is my father. This is going to sound like a common story but lately he has been scaring me quite a bit. He used to be a lot more level-headed, compassionate, etc. He used to be a much better person. Even after he was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (a brain and spinal disease), he didn't change much. Honestly I had a lot of respect for how much he deals with while remaining such a good person and someone I could trust in. However, these last few years have shown a drastic change; his temper has been on edge constantly, he always threatens us with his ability to simply throw us out if we do not practically bow to his every whim; the slightest question or disagreement might set him off. I can't even talk to him anymore. And it's been getting worse and worse to the point where I'm afraid his temper might hurt someone. He hasn't done anything yet, and I hope it remains that way, but I fear otherwise.

As an example of what's been going on, today I went to ask him to talk to my younger sister, who has a habit of taking things from my room despite me constantly asking her to leave my stuff alone. She has been taking my mother's clothing, my game systems and games (and damaging them too, since she doesn't care for them properly), and so I went to ask him to talk to her; I didn't have the authority to do anything if she kept doing it despite my insistence and she ignores my mom, so I figured dad would be the one to go to. However, the instant I asked him to step in, he went from calm to instant temper and flipped out about how he shouldn't have to be the go-to man, how I should worry less about my stuff and more about moving out (he pulls this card often; problem is that jobs aren't easy to find here in Charlotte), and then just pretty much went berserk and cut me off every two words when I tried to explain that I couldn't do anything more about her taking my stuff than I have in the past. He pretty much said that my problems didn't matter, since he had to deal with problems like me and my sister still living here (we're 21 and 18, respectively; if I had a job I would have been out of here long ago...).

Essentially, this is just an idea of how much and how quickly he flips moods to anger. Frankly, it's rather scary at times because we have to tiptoe around him lest we set him off again. And I'm a little worried by how intense his anger gets even during rational conversations; he's become a bully and uses his anger to get his way despite it being a calm, relaxed conversation.

But yeah, that's my situation so far, and because of this, I may be unavailable in the near future. I have been talking with my mate about moving up to PA with him long enough to get away from this family so that I can concentrate and perhaps manage to find myself a situation where I can get steady employment and hopefully be able to move out from there. I don't know when I will be moving; it may be sooner than later with how hard it is to deal with this environment some days, but it will likely be with minimal notice, if any. I will have wireless internet there so I can use my laptop to make contact again one things have settled out and I am in a new position to deal with things.

What I am thinking of doing is joining JobCorp; it is a free program that allows you to be trained in a profession among the ones they offer (varies by location) and will help you get a job as well once you have completed training. They provide facilities (you are expected to live on site) and potentially can set you up in the career you hope to work towards. It's something I've been looking at for awhile, but I've been holding out because I've wanted to at least finish my last two classes and see if I couldn't get a job based on my major rather than starting fresh while still dealing with my loans. This may not be possible, however, so I am working with what I can in order to move forward and work towards a little independence.

Anyway, I just wanted to give a heads-up on my potential absence in the very near future, particularly on messengers, and wanted to give everyone an idea of what's been going on so that you can understand just why I've acted like I have lately. It's hard to work in a hateful environment like this, and it has really killed my self-confidence. So yeah... that's just what's going on lately.

Here's to hoping that things improve in the near future... hopefully. ~Zeich

I think I might try to stream tonight, I've been feeling a bit more creative now that I've gotten some self-focused writing done. I'm working on two stories, though neither of them are for FA; one's a piece I've been doing on my own time, just a sort of way to vent my creative frustration, while the other is a story design I just recently came up with and started discussing with Zy while we plan out the main stages of it. If all goes well I might post up an excerpt or something, partially because I'm a show-off and partially because I want you guys to see the difference in my writing between works for myself, when I'm creatively motivated versus the times where I just can't enjoy my writing. You'll see a huge difference in quality.

Anyway, I'll get to that as time goes by, and try and keep updated on that. In the meantime, I will be aiming to stream tonight at about 7:30 PM if all goes well; if dinner ends up a bit late I might start at 8:00 PM. I will let you guys know if I have to back up the time! It'll probably be a free-drawing stream where I draw something I feel like tonight, but with suggestions available and perhaps requests if I'm in the mood. I've gotten a bit rusty however, so don't expect too much. Hoping to make some improvements nonetheless.

~Zee

Livestream link for tonight: www.livestream.com/zeessketches2

Might move to join.me again if it starts lagging badly again.

I feel terrible announcing this, but I'm cancelling all of my commissions that I have yet to write at the moment. I've contacted those who have paid me in order to refund them, and then I'm clearing off my list. I probably won't take commissions anymore; I just can't get into my writing like I used to. Life's kept me too busy at times, and then there's been a lot of things getting me down which is further hurting my ability to write. And what's worse is that I'm just not having fun writing anymore, which is the biggest problem of late. It feels too much like obligation and work because I've fallen so far behind due to my emotional stress, and as a result I just can't do it.

I'm sorry again to those who've been waiting since I started my list and are just now getting cancellation. I feel terrible about it, really. I don't think I'm going to open commissions like this again in the future, simply because I don't think I can keep up with the workload and I hate feeling like I'm making people wait, even if you guys don't care. It's not worth it to me, and it's not fair to you guys.

Don't worry, I'm not leaving FA or doing something else silly like that. I might write some more in the future, and do some free writing of my own design for once instead of someone else's story ideas. Who knows, maybe I just need to do something for myself to get my writing back? I honestly don't know of late. We'll see what happens, I suppose.

~Zee

Well I have to say I'm a little embarrassed as well as pleased that I've managed to hit a full 10,000 pageviews. I missed the actual event - caught it at 10003 - but it's just a nice feeling to know that my work was worth viewing enough to drag people to my page almost 10k times (I'm sure a fair chunk ended up being me though).

Thanks again for all the views, folks. I'll try and keep up on producing my work so that your views are justified. n_n;

I like doing random memes from time to time. So... let's see how furry I am. :O

[ ] you meow/bark to get attention
[ ] you find pets toys amusing (dog bones keep me from biting my nails..)
[ ] you get hyper by the smell of catnip
[ ] you growl/hiss when someone gets too close to your food
[ ] you growl/hiss when someone you dislike is too close to you
[ ] you purr/shake your leg when someone shows you affection
[ ] if someone tosses a ball, you chase it and bring it back
Total: 0

[ ] you love to be scratched behind the ear
[x] you love fish/meat
[ ] you like to stick your head out trough the window of a moving car.
[ ] you like when people pet your head
[ ] people can make you stop doing stuff by hitting you on the nose with a newspaper
[x] you think feathers are fun to play with
Total: 2 (2)

[ ] you sleep a lot during daytime
[x] you enjoy scaring birds
[ ] you lick peoples faces to show you like them. (Um... no.)
[ ] you bite people if they annoy you (...Not yet, but been tempted.)
[ ] you tend to steal food from your friends/family's plate when you have eaten all of yours
[x] milk or water is your favorite drink. (Milk is good for you, yush. :3)
Total: 2 (4)

[ ]you own a collar and you enjoy wearing it
[ ] you own a leash and enjoy wearing it
[x] you own animal ears/tail/paws or a fursuit (I have a tail, though Zy keeps it for safekeeping. xD)
[ ] you enjoy long walks in the park
[ ] you meow/bark when you see something you want
Total: 1 (5)

[ ] you call your hands and feet "paws"
[X] you tilt your head when you do not understand what someone is talking about (It's a weird habit, I dunno why I do it. xD)
[ ] you run to the door when someone mentions a walk
[x] you really enjoy cuddling (I loooooooooove cuddling, either with my animals or my folf. <3)
[ ] you stretch your body and whimper a bit every morning when you wake up
[x] you can wake up and go back to sleep right away after looking around (I do it often. ._.)
Total: 3 (8)

[ ] you have your favorite spot besides your bed where you like to sleep
[ ] you meow or bark very often
[ ] you hide when you get scared
[X] you run to the door to see who it is every time someone comes in to the house (does peeking out my door, which is at the top of the stairs, count? I'm a curious fellow.)
[ ] you like to chase flying insects and try to catch them with your bare hand
[x] you tend to chew on stuff a lot
[ ] you like to do tricks to get a treat
Total: 2 (10)

[x] you own a wearable item/tag with your name on it (I've got two conbadges from AC, and I think that's it. xD My IRL name though, no.)
[ ] you refer to your self as an animal (Online only. I make a few jokes here and there though IRL with my friends.)
[x] your username has something to do with animals (Zeichwolf, hmm...)
[ ] your e-mail has something to do with animals (nada.)
[ ] if you get a bleeding wound, you lick it to make it feel better (Does sucking on a cut or something count? I don't exactly lick it though...)
[x] you look for edible stuff often (Fat wuff, food. You make the connection.)
Total: 3 (13)

[x] you often find yourself looking through the window for a long time (I stare out the window when I'm thinking generally. XD)
[x] you like to say hi to strangers (I'm sociable. :3 It's fun!)
[ ] you like to be petted when you have done something good
[ ] people think you act like a pet
[ ] you growl/hiss at stuff you do not like
[ ] you like to eat grass
[ ] if you get wet, you shake to get rid of the water
Total: 2 (15)

Final total: 15


Take your score and multiply it by 2
Put your title as "I'm _% Furry" END~~

Guess I'm still going to stream. Sorta down about not getting any commissions... again... but I guess that's the deal with my quality of art, just as I expected. At a certain husky who knows who he is: I told you so.

That being said, guess I'll stream for a little while.

www.livestream.com/zeessketches2

So last stream I was asking about taking sketchmissions - in other words, putting a small price tag on my stream work. I'm still a little leery that my artwork might not be good enough to warrant commissions, but I figured it was worth giving it a shot. Of course, this isn't uber-high-quality work like the big artists out there, so naturally the price tag's gonna be low; I was thinking $5 for a full piece, lines, colors, and shading all included. Mind you, I'm still learning so I won't be able to take all commissions (if I get any!) and many things I will have to reject. ^^;

The way I'm thinking of doing this is announcing my streams an hour in advance. I will ask for commission requests then via note. Naturally I won't charge until after the piece is done in the event that I freeze up or something happens partway through the piece, but I'm not too worried about that. After all, if someone runs without paying, they're not taking very good work and ruined their reputation for nothing. xD

Of course, I will finish all my commissions before I take new ones (i.e. I get a bunch of 'em and can't finish them all on one stream; I'll put up a note on my pre-stream-warning letting you know I'm not taking commissions this time) and will be making sure they're up to the customer's satisfaction before I actually charge.

How do you guys feel about it? People have told me that my work was at least worth the $5 pricetag I was thinking of putting on it, and while I'm fine with such a small amount considering that I'm still learning, I'm not even sure I should charge. What do you guys think? Should I, would people even bother commissioning me? Toss me some feedback on this.

~Zee

Gonna be streaming, the usual deal.

>> www.livestream.com/zeessketches2 <<

Mostly wrote this because the Christmas journal needs to go away. xD

Lately I've been feeling a lack of inspiration, no drive to write. Oh sure, I am writing, but nowhere near as much as I used to be able to or I want to be able to. So I've been slower about my work both for personal pieces and for commissions than I like, but it's just been hard to find that inspiration, y'know?

So lately I've taken to listening to a lot of music, but nada. Been trying to just sit down and write; no success. This lack of muse has been killing me for the longest of times. However, I think I might have found my inspiration again. I just finished reading Towers of Midnight by Robert Jordan and Brandon Sanderson, and I have to say... though it's a bit overdetailed at times... I have never read a book as a good as this one. I'd love to describe it but it's hard to without spoiling it for those who haven't read it or confusing those who haven't read the other twelve books in the series. Either way, I just suffered a huuuuuuge spark of inspiration, and as a result I'll be getting back to work ASAP, hopefully bringing out a few more pieces in the near future.

So yeah, random journal. Bai Christmas~!

Merry Christmas to all of you, and for those of you who don't celebrate it, happy holidays (not listed out simply because I might miss one and I don't want to do that!). I hope all of you are having a wonderful holiday and enjoy your time with loved ones, the general glow of holiday spirit, and for those of you it applies to, your gifts.

Sadly, my Christmas isn't coming this year, since the folks have been fighting something fierce and as a result they haven't had a chance to do anything. Doesn't mean I didn't get them gifts though! But don't let this get you down; this is still a happy time for everyone regardless of the situation. It's the thoughts that are important, and the feelings of goodwill towards all.

Besides, my real gift (though the two of us paid for it ourselves) is my mate coming down here from the 27th to the 7th, twelve days for the two of us to be together again. During this time I'm likely to be scarce on messengers simply because I want to spend all the time I can with him because we get so little of it for the time being. Hopefully that'll change in the near future though!

Happy Holidays from your favorite prankster,
~Zee

For those of you waiting on commissions, I'm so sorry for the delay. Things at home have been... difficult to say the least. And a lot of trouble has come up on my end. I'm still plodding along, however. It's just been tricky to find writing time of late.

To sum up the issues:

1) My parents have been fighting nonstop and threatening some serious separation possibilities.
2) I've been having to be my sister's driver just about everywhere.
3) My diploma got yanked because my GPA in the classes on my major wasn't high enough (but my overall was, and I had all of my credits... -_-)
4) With four cats, three dogs, and a very annoyingly loud bird that I never asked for nor wanted, it's hard to concentrate between the noise and having to take care of them.

So yeah... it's been a pretty rough few weeks for me. I'm dealing with issues right now, but I'm working where I can. I've gotten a solid fourteen or so pages written now, and I'm trying to just sit down and write, but it's not easy for me lately. So please understand. ^^;

~Zee

...No really, I am. Why? Because it just hit me after I finished my last exam this morning... I'm done. Sixteen years of schooling have ended today. It's... well, surprising. I feel sorta happy, sorta wistful that a large portion of my life is about to change, sorta sad about the things I'm leaving behind. It's really hard to explain it other than the fact that I'm just... done. No more school unless I go somewhere to get a higher degree at a later point... but still. Wow.

In short: I AM DONE WITH COLLEGE! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(Or should that be awooooo for a nice wolf howl? :P)

Well, it's time. It's time for me to buckle down and take the last school exams I'm going to take for a long time. This is both an exciting and scary moment for me, getting ready to step out of the student comfort zone and out into the working world. I'm really actually sorta nervous about what's coming... but I'll take it one step at a time. I'll get through it like I always do.

However, I will be very busy during this next week, until at very least Monday. Friday and Monday I have my really tough exams in International Political Economy and Constitutional Law, so I've got a lot of studying in my future. As a result, I may pop online once or twice when I need a break, but for the most part expect me to be somewhat absent from IMs and other conversations until then. This is the make or break point, so I've gotta do my best!

Take care 'til I make it through this, folks, and then hopefully I'll be writing a lot more when I'm not out looking for jobs, so hopefully we'll see some activity from our favorite wolf!

WOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Okay, now that that's out of the way: I did it! I finished my first NaNoWriMo in three years! It was an amazing amount of effort, but I did it! I even managed to finish on the first day that we could validate our word counts! But I couldn't do it alone; I had a lot of encouragement from the people around me, especially  Sasuke. Sasuke was so kind as to do several word wars with me, pushing me to my utmost limits in competition to see who could write more. Sure, he went further over 50,000 words than I did, but I'm writing a full novel, so I have much, much longer to go!

So here I am, at 50,015 words. I. Am. Absolutely. Stoked. I did it, I did it! I won!

And because I like to show off! Here's the link to my certificate here. Of course my name's blurred out because I'm not just giving that out, but... yay!

...And now I'm just out of words to express my enthusiasm.

Yep, made it back safe and sound, etc. Long trip, all done, whatever. Getting back to work, presentation due on Tuesday that I need to get started on, Thanksgiving with the folks is gonna be a blast (Hah, not.) and then I get to go to finals, graduation, and then... who really knows. Regardless, I'm back, will try and be around when I can. Will get to work on commissions where I have time, sorry for the delay.

~Zee.