I need some advice on writing. I lost interest in the exiled dragon. Im trying to finish it. Its halfway in part two. I want to finish it. I already have in mind a space series i want to start but i know myself as i would only leave it halfy finished. I dream of making a long series with many adventures.

Like my good rabbit friend. I was the first to read of halfbreed and his story has gone a long way and i still havent done crap.

I feel so sad as i havent done anything. I want a big series that i can be proud to call my own i really want it but i am too weak to do it. I just dont know what to do. Please, any advice would be great

Im gonna lay off the booze. But only going to drink if its for social reasons. Booze just makes me sader when i drink alone. So im gonna go clean. This i have to do and get some respect back from my friends. I cant go on with a drunken life.

Im so cold and alone.
With no home to call my own.
The cold breeze chills my bones without a care.
The ghostly wind blows through my hair.
Existing like a ghost but im not really there.

Going in circles in silence.
So empty is my heart.
Everything around me falls apart.

A walk through the shadows.
Everything so cold and alone.
Every is so dark in the cold night.
Looking up to the stars as i stand in the moon light.
My soul is tainted by a dark blight.

Wishing to be among the stars.
Wishing i wasnt so cold and alone on this earth.

Please save me from these endles days.
Everyday its the same.
Drifting around so cold and alone.

Wanting to live no more.
I feel this pain at my core.
Eating on my soul till im no more...

I at times wonder how would life be like for me if i wasnt a loner. To have somebody there for me and to love and care about me. I wonder how would that feel like. To be held in these cold winter nights. A smile on the face and knowing your not alone.

Lonliness is eating on my soul. My heart feels hollow and empty. Alcohol and THC only a temp filling. It doesnt last long.

But also at times i think its just better to live alone all my life. To live freely without heart breaks.

But all i know that i cant have a mate with my weak social skills. Not to mention i dont know how such things work really. So i guess ill always hide in the shadows of society.

I once again got a job, im moving to another town in 2 weeks to work for my step mom at a maize meal factory. Id work as a packer and would earn about 1000 rands per month.

Im going to look for another place to spend my time and be safe. Things has been happening. Most of you are on my im's by now. Well at least all of my best friends ive met on here ^^

keep safe all

Part two of my story is in progress. And i already figured out a great ending for it. A romantic ending at least ^^

i hope you would enjoy part two as it would take a week or two to finish i hope. I hope sooner.

In other news i had a great dinner with two other furs last night.

Nah not really! But anyways.

Hope you folks enjoyed my first part of my story. Im not home yet so i cant start with part two. But i got ideas for it at least. Im starting to be quite the cook and i just discovred my love for hot spicy foods. In fact i think im going to make some indian chips now mmmmm! Nice and crispy... -mouth waters-

oh and its a bad idea to head bang while wasted. Last weekend, ouch... Blue eye... Hard sement. Fell with force... Sore in the morning. Embarrasment! It looked like i was in a fight. Hehe well thanks for reading. Enjoy the rest of your morning, day and night.

I dont know what my future holds for me. Im getting drunk everyday to forget about my pain in my heart. The pain in my heart is getting worse each day. My lonely life is killing me slowly. I dont know what to do anymore. I fear i might kill myself in the few years to come. The lonlines is just too much to handle for me. At least i can turn to drugs to ease my suffering for a short time and i can contunue my misrable life.

My story is in progress about the dragon. But i am going to visit my cousin for a week so in might take some time. My story is half way complited. It is just a fast story so i can learn to write better stories in the future. I hope it would be at least worth reading.

Yes as always i go on about how life sucks. But atleast now i've gotten somewhat more social and less shy. I get blind drunk every weekend with some friends and i even make them laugh. One alright thing. Soon i'm going to write very short stories about very old ideas i've had in my head but i've never written about them. My damn pc is broke again. Damn i really need a new pc.

Thanks for reading

Since i got back home ive been heavy drunk during the whole day. My head hurts now. But something is bothering me. A question ive asked myself a lot of times recently. Am i destant to be alone forever? Even though i enjoy the freedom of being my own person and having no worries to change for anybody but i feel a black deep empty hole inside of me that i dont know how to fill. My personality and hatred for most things doesnt allow me to have anybody close to me anymore. And i know what you common people are going to say so dont say what i already know and im getting tired of hearing that same old bullshit. But most of the time in my life i want to hug something warm thats not my pillow or blanket. Somebody that i could share and do stuff with but that part of me would always be empty without a hole to pour something into. That part of me is slowly dieing and soon i would no longer have the need for somebody and then i can be completely free. Someday i also will die and be free. Cant wait to be free for the rest of my misrable life.

I got a small time job at a small farm. Im living in a small room there. I was even allowed to bring my pc along. Its early to bed and early up. This farm expereance might teach me skills id need in the future and make my lazyness go away. I get payed a 100rand a week. Not much but im just mainly here to get expereance. Im gonna take sheep out, feed the chickens, and clean their pens. Today is the first day and its gonna be hard!

Im no longer gonna look for an human to keep my loneliness away but a dog by my side. If i could get a dog i wont need to worry about humans and i wont be alone. And ill have my freedom aswell. Ill soon get a dog of my own, then this lizard will be happy and wont be jealous of other people anymore. Cant wait to get a pet to love and to take care of.

Alone yet again on the month of love.
Im going through some hard stuff.
My heart and soul feels like its breaking down.
The only thing that kept me happy was taken away by the men in blue.
What should i do?
I dont have a clue.

My freedoms taken away.
Day by day people treat me like a stray.
Im lost and dont know where is my place to stay.

My heart and soul grows cold as i grow old.
Loosing friends as ive been told.
The air i breath is getting thicker.
My brain is getting sicker.

Nobody out there for me for the month.
Going through another year alone with a tear on my face.
Stareing out to the sparkleing stars.
Laying on the lawn as i stare at lonely mars.

My bong taken away.
No more escape from the sadness.
All i feel is this harsh madness.
What am i to do today?
Maybe someday ill get the courage to murder myself.

Someday i will be free....

Well the horse thing didnt worked out as i never heard from that person. I might stop doing weed for a while as 2 days ago i got arested and cought red handed by the police in my room. I got out of jail today and awaite trail next week. Ive been told im gonna do community service for a month and a half at an orphanage. But i might be lucky as the case might been droped. Im gonna stop weed untill i got my own place. Now i hate freaking humans even more. They treated me like a dog. And now i freaking hate humans. About 90% of them! Dammit! Why cant damn people just leave me alone! I've done no harm to humans but they keep brining me into shit! Im so pissed off! Now im gonna be much less friendly and way less trusting of any damn person that talks to me.

I might get a job at a horse stable as a stable boy and work myself up. We met a woman at a park who lives on an horse stable and knows people who can get me in. She said im the perfect size to be an jockey aswell and in part im gonna study in between aswell

I might join the army with my cousin soon.

A tireing end and start of a year. Had a big celebration on new years. This year im gonna get my matric. And a good job i hope. My dog xena is dead. She died on the 6th of dec last year because of damn humans that doesnt take the ticks off. This year im gonna hate most humans because im getting a lot of shit by them and getting tired of it.

Well the zoo thing didnt work out. But i may go to the uk to become a jockey. Im the right size. Hehe im a short gecko. Well i hope this works out for me. I do love horses a lot hehe.

Further noting else is really new with me. Though im getting out a lot more with my future step sis and her bf. Last weekend i was so drunk i barely remember. Its was at a metal bar hehe. They given out free shots of tequlia (cant spell it).

Well take care

I got a volunteer job at the zoo! Im gonna start next week monday. At first im gonna work with farm animals at first and slowly work myself up. Then im gonna go to the university to study maybe zoology when ive worked at the zoo for a while, cant wait till i get started! So exited! I wont be paid for it but it will be very educational. Ill get far i just know

Well... I moved into a bigger flat apartment with my dad and his gf. I might get a job at the zoo too. But they should had called me by now, why do people always take so long to call? Well im starting to party more hehe. And i like somebody very much. This time its in my country but far away in another city lol, dont stand a chance. Im trying to turn vegan too. Soy mins tastes good. And i might have something wrong with my left nut. Cant see a docter yet. Cant let family know. And thats about all news i got

I'm always gonna go home to my dad. The visit to my mother was quite nice. Though i did little writing done. The days can be boring though but i got nice herbs here at my mothers bf. It helps with bordem and day dreaming. I thought about so many things. I also gained a bit of weight lol. My mother makes really good food. Or maybe thats just the result of the herb.

Tonight after ive had a chat with that furrywriter dude i started to write again. Tonight i wrote more in an hour then in a month! It's gotten so adictive now. So fun too! Chapter one of hostile fur space will be done in a few days! I hope! I hope you people will enjoy it.

I'm going to put a change in my thoughts. From now on im going to think about the things i want and not think about the things i do not want. Positive thoughts will make my life better. Im still not going to get a mate ever as i fail everytime and it brings me down. So now im going to be happy and focus on life. I'm gonna change the world! So look out world. I know the secret.