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20,000 words in two days.
Posted 15 years agoCan I do it?
I'm justunder 20,000 words over 3600 words away from staying on track and finishing this month's monthly goal of 30,000 words written in my stories for the month. There are precisely 47 hours and 9 minutes 21 hours and 40 minutes left in the month as of the time I typed that countdown.
By no means am I expecting to reach that goal, but I refuse to give up. I will use these final hours to write as much as I possibly can and see what my determination will bring me. That would be 10 hours of writing if I'm writing a zippy 2,000 words an hour. I don't give up, I conquer things.
If I can draw 11 drawings in that time as well, it would be nothing short of phenomenal. Certainly not banking on that.
And no, I haven't gotten any better as far as "getting better" goes. It's been worse. But I'll tell you one thing: dealing with people is not helpful to me right now. I'm sorry if you miss me or whatever, but this is something that I have to deal with on my own. I often feel like if I don't get better from day to day, I disappoint people or let down their expectations. I've done that before. It's a wound that still stings. I will only pop back periodically and when I feel like it, but please, don't expect a positive outlook from me if I am on. I'll probably just do what I do best and fake a smile or whatever.
Sorry. Wish me luck.
Update 3/30: wrote a staggering 15,504 words today on Starting in the Lab - Hoenn. SitL - Hoenn is going to be M/M and/or M/M/M, but it is going to be surprisingly emotional and I'm actually kind of pleased with the characters in this. They're all very distinct and there's a lot more of a plot than either of the first two. There's also probably going to be 3 chapters because I would rather have written one story occupying those 20k words than 2 or 3. And SitL - Hoenn is relatively easy comparatively.
I'm just
If I can draw 11 drawings in that time as well, it would be nothing short of phenomenal. Certainly not banking on that.
And no, I haven't gotten any better as far as "getting better" goes. It's been worse. But I'll tell you one thing: dealing with people is not helpful to me right now. I'm sorry if you miss me or whatever, but this is something that I have to deal with on my own. I often feel like if I don't get better from day to day, I disappoint people or let down their expectations. I've done that before. It's a wound that still stings. I will only pop back periodically and when I feel like it, but please, don't expect a positive outlook from me if I am on. I'll probably just do what I do best and fake a smile or whatever.
Sorry. Wish me luck.
Update 3/30: wrote a staggering 15,504 words today on Starting in the Lab - Hoenn. SitL - Hoenn is going to be M/M and/or M/M/M, but it is going to be surprisingly emotional and I'm actually kind of pleased with the characters in this. They're all very distinct and there's a lot more of a plot than either of the first two. There's also probably going to be 3 chapters because I would rather have written one story occupying those 20k words than 2 or 3. And SitL - Hoenn is relatively easy comparatively.
Hiatus.
Posted 15 years agoI haven't really been feeling very well recently. I don't mean necessarily physically, but emotionally and psychologically. There have been a lot of stresses in my life and a lot of lingering depression that I'm still facing. We all have them; I'm not trying to make mine sound any more or less important than yours, but we all deal with them in different ways.
Nowadays it doesn't really seem like I have anything to cling onto. I don't have really any hopes or desires for the future. I feel very alone. Writing and art, particularly sticking to my goals, are the only things keeping me going, but even they only feel like temporary fixes, like something I'm just doing on a month-to-month basis.
What a lot of you probably don't know is that I'm a very solitary person by nature. I've never made an effort to go out there and make friends. They just sort of come to me. I enjoy having friends, but I also enjoy solitude a lot. I enjoy doing things by myself. I enjoy writing by myself, engrossing myself in the minds of whatever characters I'm writing about, detaching myself from reality. I enjoy not having to worry about entertaining other people. So often I feel like I have to. It's selfish to say it, but I don't like it. I guess that makes me a bad friend in a lot of ways. There are a lot of things that I know I could do to make myself a better friend to people, but I'm just not willing to do that. It's going against who I am deep down in a lot of ways, and I'd basically be doing that just to "gain acceptance" rather than be who I am. I don't care about gaining acceptance.
Eh, I don't know. Sometimes it just feels hopeless trying to please everyone. Or trying not to sound like a total dick when you're not comfortable with something or trying to gently let someone down. I HATE letting people down. It's one of the things that I despise more than anything else, yet so often that exact worry engulfs me in a swamp of guilt, because I do let a lot of people down all the time. It's a pick-your-battles sort of thing I guess.
I'm not even sure what sense any of that all up there made. It's probably just incessant rambling. The long and short of it is that I don't really feel like I want to sign on AIM or MSN for awhile and talk to people. Yeah, you're all my friends, and it does mean a lot, but first of all, I don't ask anything out of my friends ― no favors, no requests, no demands ― so this is one thing that I'm asking for for a change. Second, I am not really as ideal of a friend as you think. I'm realizing more and more just how much of a loner I am. It's no wonder I'm always faced with rejection when it comes to relationships, yet it is pretty confusing why so many other people consider me a friend. I don't get it. And then third, I am really busy and stressed out lately. It's not going to let up. I want to be able to have time to write, draw, and maybe even play some HeartGold when it comes out in a few days.
I probably won't be active on FA for a week or two as well. I don't know how long I'll be gone. I may check back periodically, because I do love porn~ But I just really... I just really need some time.
I want to find happiness again. It was something that I was so close to attaining. It was something I felt in my head and my heart, but all it was was just an illusion that has since faded away. Once more I have to play a game of hide and seek and find it again.
Hopefully my absence will mean a nice, big art and story dump near the end of the month or whenever I get back. I do still want to try accomplish those goals because they are important to me. I'll be writing Fleeting Friendship and the prequel to Her Biggest Fan, which I'm officially calling Breaking the Ice. (For a change, that's actually the name I used for the work-in-progress name and I like it. It's perfect. Couldn't suit it better.)
tl;dr version: I'm going to be gone/less active/not chatty for 2~ weeks or so.
Nowadays it doesn't really seem like I have anything to cling onto. I don't have really any hopes or desires for the future. I feel very alone. Writing and art, particularly sticking to my goals, are the only things keeping me going, but even they only feel like temporary fixes, like something I'm just doing on a month-to-month basis.
What a lot of you probably don't know is that I'm a very solitary person by nature. I've never made an effort to go out there and make friends. They just sort of come to me. I enjoy having friends, but I also enjoy solitude a lot. I enjoy doing things by myself. I enjoy writing by myself, engrossing myself in the minds of whatever characters I'm writing about, detaching myself from reality. I enjoy not having to worry about entertaining other people. So often I feel like I have to. It's selfish to say it, but I don't like it. I guess that makes me a bad friend in a lot of ways. There are a lot of things that I know I could do to make myself a better friend to people, but I'm just not willing to do that. It's going against who I am deep down in a lot of ways, and I'd basically be doing that just to "gain acceptance" rather than be who I am. I don't care about gaining acceptance.
Eh, I don't know. Sometimes it just feels hopeless trying to please everyone. Or trying not to sound like a total dick when you're not comfortable with something or trying to gently let someone down. I HATE letting people down. It's one of the things that I despise more than anything else, yet so often that exact worry engulfs me in a swamp of guilt, because I do let a lot of people down all the time. It's a pick-your-battles sort of thing I guess.
I'm not even sure what sense any of that all up there made. It's probably just incessant rambling. The long and short of it is that I don't really feel like I want to sign on AIM or MSN for awhile and talk to people. Yeah, you're all my friends, and it does mean a lot, but first of all, I don't ask anything out of my friends ― no favors, no requests, no demands ― so this is one thing that I'm asking for for a change. Second, I am not really as ideal of a friend as you think. I'm realizing more and more just how much of a loner I am. It's no wonder I'm always faced with rejection when it comes to relationships, yet it is pretty confusing why so many other people consider me a friend. I don't get it. And then third, I am really busy and stressed out lately. It's not going to let up. I want to be able to have time to write, draw, and maybe even play some HeartGold when it comes out in a few days.
I probably won't be active on FA for a week or two as well. I don't know how long I'll be gone. I may check back periodically, because I do love porn~ But I just really... I just really need some time.
I want to find happiness again. It was something that I was so close to attaining. It was something I felt in my head and my heart, but all it was was just an illusion that has since faded away. Once more I have to play a game of hide and seek and find it again.
Hopefully my absence will mean a nice, big art and story dump near the end of the month or whenever I get back. I do still want to try accomplish those goals because they are important to me. I'll be writing Fleeting Friendship and the prequel to Her Biggest Fan, which I'm officially calling Breaking the Ice. (For a change, that's actually the name I used for the work-in-progress name and I like it. It's perfect. Couldn't suit it better.)
tl;dr version: I'm going to be gone/less active/not chatty for 2~ weeks or so.
Prequel to an old story, plus art goal perspective.
Posted 15 years agoLast night, after finishing up a short story, I had some more words that I needed to write for the day. My goal for the month was to pick up Fleeting Friendship again, but that requires me to reread it (at least if I want to do it justice) and I just finished Chapter 2, so that wasn't an option. What ever should a poor, struggling Buizel do, then?
I did the unthinkable. I started writing a prequel to an old story of mine. One that I vowed I wouldn't touch again, but I actually sort of wrote a few thousand words on a possible sequel last summer, so now I've gone round circle and decided to write a prequel.
This time, though, it's more than just a passing thought or idea. I've gotten "the spark." It's going to be written. I already have the outline for most of it and I think it will be a very emotional story that will shed a lot of light on a very beloved character from of my stories.
Who is it? Let's just put it this way... it's not someone that would be in any sequel to the story, heh.
Yeah, if I've figured it out by now, you're right. I'm writing a prequel to Her Biggest Fan.
The prequel will go into Atra's past, before she even met Elly, and will show several of her battles that Jeff used her in. It will also go a lot more into more emotional elements of her past, such as why she was so emotionally cold and distant, how she opened up to a certain Zangoose, just how deep her rivalries with Ignis are, and how her heart was broken for the first time.
There was actually a lot of room for a prequel, believe it or not. I couldn't believe how much potential there was. I'm hoping that it will make a good, solid story on its own, but will only add to the emotional depth of Her Biggest Fan.
One interesting thing is that it's going to be PG-13 rated. No sex ― or at least explicit descriptions of it. It'll be implied and referenced, but not directly described. Enough to easily fit into a PG-13 movie. Despite that, it should still make a great story. I'm guessing it'll be about half the length of Her Biggest Fan, but since it'll cover five badges worth of time (it starts with Jeff fighting Wattson for the Dynamo Badge), I'll be doing quite a bit of scene skipping, paving way for clean chapter breaks.
Yeah, just thought I'd yap on about that.
In other news, I checked something today. You see, since I started my art goal of 15 drawings per month for this year, I've stuck through it for the first two months. I also did one drawing so far this month, too, putting the total at 31. That's actually more drawings than I did during the entire year last year in just the first two months (plus a day).
On top of that, I'm at about 67,000 words for the year. I made a cool chart and everything in OpenOffice, so it's fun comparing months with a line graph and keeping track of my progress. That is also more words written than all of 2009, if you exclude December. Of course the only time I really did any amount of writing was November and December, so it's not exactly a fair comparison, but still, that's pretty neat.
Yep, that's all I wanted to say.
I did the unthinkable. I started writing a prequel to an old story of mine. One that I vowed I wouldn't touch again, but I actually sort of wrote a few thousand words on a possible sequel last summer, so now I've gone round circle and decided to write a prequel.
This time, though, it's more than just a passing thought or idea. I've gotten "the spark." It's going to be written. I already have the outline for most of it and I think it will be a very emotional story that will shed a lot of light on a very beloved character from of my stories.
Who is it? Let's just put it this way... it's not someone that would be in any sequel to the story, heh.
Yeah, if I've figured it out by now, you're right. I'm writing a prequel to Her Biggest Fan.
The prequel will go into Atra's past, before she even met Elly, and will show several of her battles that Jeff used her in. It will also go a lot more into more emotional elements of her past, such as why she was so emotionally cold and distant, how she opened up to a certain Zangoose, just how deep her rivalries with Ignis are, and how her heart was broken for the first time.
There was actually a lot of room for a prequel, believe it or not. I couldn't believe how much potential there was. I'm hoping that it will make a good, solid story on its own, but will only add to the emotional depth of Her Biggest Fan.
One interesting thing is that it's going to be PG-13 rated. No sex ― or at least explicit descriptions of it. It'll be implied and referenced, but not directly described. Enough to easily fit into a PG-13 movie. Despite that, it should still make a great story. I'm guessing it'll be about half the length of Her Biggest Fan, but since it'll cover five badges worth of time (it starts with Jeff fighting Wattson for the Dynamo Badge), I'll be doing quite a bit of scene skipping, paving way for clean chapter breaks.
Yeah, just thought I'd yap on about that.
In other news, I checked something today. You see, since I started my art goal of 15 drawings per month for this year, I've stuck through it for the first two months. I also did one drawing so far this month, too, putting the total at 31. That's actually more drawings than I did during the entire year last year in just the first two months (plus a day).
On top of that, I'm at about 67,000 words for the year. I made a cool chart and everything in OpenOffice, so it's fun comparing months with a line graph and keeping track of my progress. That is also more words written than all of 2009, if you exclude December. Of course the only time I really did any amount of writing was November and December, so it's not exactly a fair comparison, but still, that's pretty neat.
Yep, that's all I wanted to say.
I've got a lot of angst? And not a lot to show for it?
Posted 15 years agoYeah, sorry I've been about as productive as a snail on weed lately. My goals aren't really climbing all that fast, though I do believe there is still hope in finishing them. It's my middle-of-the-month funk. You know, "that time of the month." At least that'd be my excuse if, you know... well, humph, anyway, yeah, so I'm about 13k words shy and 6 drawings shy of my goals for the month. It could be worse.
Let's take a look, though, at what I have gotten done in the past two weeks, because it's actually kind of exciting. I completed my draft copies of Starting in the Lab - Johto and Middle of Nowhere Ch. 13.
Middle of Nowhere was literally going nowhere, then I added a sex scene (!), then it was slow and I didn't have ANY inspiration to write at all. BUT, then I started writing this one part, and I was TOTALLY getting into it. I'm actually really looking forward to writing the next chapter of Middle of Nowhere (for the first time since... Chapter 8), because I have a feeling it's going to be really good for a change. You'll see why.
And as for Starting in the Lab - Johto... I really have no clue. It's an interesting story and quite a bit different than the last one, but it does feature, of all things, roleplaying. Sort of. Yeah, heh. I'm not quite sure of the ending, because I was sort of struggling with it and didn't know exactly what to do, so I went with sort of a-... well, you'll find out, probably. I may change it if it's not satisfactory when I reread it or something. Or I may get lazy and say SCREW YOU, if you don't like it, TOUGH, that's what happened. The whole series isn't meant to be really excellent... just sort of porn. But I can't keep a goddamn story short (this one is 17k words, which is bordering on that split-it-into-two-chapters level... but I don't know where to split it :s).
Sorry to everyone that has sort of prodded me about a request or anything. This is why I don't typically do art/story trades or requests, because I draw things at my own pace, and with my goals to keep in mind, I can't spend too much time on something. Gotta keep a consistent pace. I'll still try get what I can done this month, but if I'm slowing down, I'll fall onto my backup plan and it might just have to wait until March. But I don't want to feel guilty dammit.
I'm also about as against the idea of getting into a relationship as I can be right now at this point in time. To some people, it's, like, the only thing that matters to them. But I've finally hit that perfect level of cynicism, one that really reassures me that there is absolutely no one out there that I know right now that I can ever see myself in a relationship with, nor would I want to be if given the option. I'm done. I'm done for hopefully a long time. And I'm actually fine with that.
I do know one thing for sure, though: I am never opening up again. I should have listened to my brain rather than my heart three months ago. It's easier not to fall for anyone, ever, just as long as you're not lonely about it ― which I'm not. I'm not trying to sound emo, or whiny, or like I'm giving up. I am giving up, but it's not out of some emo, "no one luvs meeeee *cut cut*", but simply because I don't WANT to have to deal with pleasing anyone else or having anyone else suck my time away, because I'd much rather be a productive selfish bastard than a guilty selfish bastard.
Woohoo, ranting. Didn't mean for this to be that long. I guess I do have a lot to show for that angst. Sorry happy Zeph is absent right now.
Let's take a look, though, at what I have gotten done in the past two weeks, because it's actually kind of exciting. I completed my draft copies of Starting in the Lab - Johto and Middle of Nowhere Ch. 13.
Middle of Nowhere was literally going nowhere, then I added a sex scene (!), then it was slow and I didn't have ANY inspiration to write at all. BUT, then I started writing this one part, and I was TOTALLY getting into it. I'm actually really looking forward to writing the next chapter of Middle of Nowhere (for the first time since... Chapter 8), because I have a feeling it's going to be really good for a change. You'll see why.
And as for Starting in the Lab - Johto... I really have no clue. It's an interesting story and quite a bit different than the last one, but it does feature, of all things, roleplaying. Sort of. Yeah, heh. I'm not quite sure of the ending, because I was sort of struggling with it and didn't know exactly what to do, so I went with sort of a-... well, you'll find out, probably. I may change it if it's not satisfactory when I reread it or something. Or I may get lazy and say SCREW YOU, if you don't like it, TOUGH, that's what happened. The whole series isn't meant to be really excellent... just sort of porn. But I can't keep a goddamn story short (this one is 17k words, which is bordering on that split-it-into-two-chapters level... but I don't know where to split it :s).
Sorry to everyone that has sort of prodded me about a request or anything. This is why I don't typically do art/story trades or requests, because I draw things at my own pace, and with my goals to keep in mind, I can't spend too much time on something. Gotta keep a consistent pace. I'll still try get what I can done this month, but if I'm slowing down, I'll fall onto my backup plan and it might just have to wait until March. But I don't want to feel guilty dammit.
I'm also about as against the idea of getting into a relationship as I can be right now at this point in time. To some people, it's, like, the only thing that matters to them. But I've finally hit that perfect level of cynicism, one that really reassures me that there is absolutely no one out there that I know right now that I can ever see myself in a relationship with, nor would I want to be if given the option. I'm done. I'm done for hopefully a long time. And I'm actually fine with that.
I do know one thing for sure, though: I am never opening up again. I should have listened to my brain rather than my heart three months ago. It's easier not to fall for anyone, ever, just as long as you're not lonely about it ― which I'm not. I'm not trying to sound emo, or whiny, or like I'm giving up. I am giving up, but it's not out of some emo, "no one luvs meeeee *cut cut*", but simply because I don't WANT to have to deal with pleasing anyone else or having anyone else suck my time away, because I'd much rather be a productive selfish bastard than a guilty selfish bastard.
Woohoo, ranting. Didn't mean for this to be that long. I guess I do have a lot to show for that angst. Sorry happy Zeph is absent right now.
I hate V-Day.
Posted 16 years agoToday sucked. That's all there is to it. I didn't get to writing like I had hoped, things and stresses kept stacking up, and it was just terrible.
I wanted to write something new to keep to a tradition for those years when I was alone. I first started writing A Friend Indeed two years ago, actually. It was a good way of getting through the day.
So much for that idea. I'll probably push that totally new idea til later. It just really sort of bums me out more. :/
Ugh. Hope you got through your February 14th just fine.
I wanted to write something new to keep to a tradition for those years when I was alone. I first started writing A Friend Indeed two years ago, actually. It was a good way of getting through the day.
So much for that idea. I'll probably push that totally new idea til later. It just really sort of bums me out more. :/
Ugh. Hope you got through your February 14th just fine.
Master List of Story Characters
Posted 16 years agoSo there is no confusion, these are not RP characters or characters that I incorporate into every story. They are simply the characters in whatever story they're listed in. I guess I really have a lot of them, and that list only grows. :o
Minor or merely referenced (never actually in the story, but just mentioned) characters are listed in small lettering, whereas any major ones are listed normally, usually in the order that they appear in the story or story series.
I'll explain the color coding when I'm more coherent. It's late right now. But basically green means fanart (as does F#), yellow means XXX fanart, and red means XXX.
Lovebug
Zester (Pikachu ♂)
Lina (Caterpie ♀)
Middle of Nowhere series
Tommy (Human ♂)
Tango / Salsa <1> (Buizel ♀)
Jazz <2, 3> (Floatzel ♂)
Blues <2> (Azumarill ♀)
Waltz (Typhlosion ♂)
Boogie (Kecleon ♂)
Woogie (Kecleon ♂)
Polka <F1> (Buizel ♀)
Farruca (Flaaffy ♀)
Dirge (Quagsire ♂)
Elegy (Floatzel ♀)
Ska (Scizor ♂)
Boogaloo (Ursaring ♂)
Mambo (Piloswine ♂)
A Friend Indeed
Florel <2, F1> (Treecko ♂)
Dew <2, F1> (Mudkip ♀)
Torent (Swampert ♂)
Moyst (Swampert ♀)
Grey (Poochyena / Mightyena ♂)
Ena (Poochyena / Mightyena ♀)
Saved from Slavery
Marcus (Infernape ♂)
Lei (Aipom / Ambipom ♀)
Chloe (Bidoof ♀)
Talon (Staraptor ♂)
Agrith (Sneasel ♂)
King Garclif (Slaking ♂)
Lei's Mom (Ambipom ♀)
Bruno (Human ♂)
Marie (Human ♀)
Her Biggest Fan
Atra aka "Atty" <F1> (Weavile ♀)
Elly <F1, F2> (Shiny Plusle ♀)
Jeff (Human ♂)
Ignis (Blaziken ♂)
Effloresca (Roserade ♀)
Sanders (Sandslash ?)
Psyche (Kadabra ?)
Rachel (Human ♀)
Tsunami (Blastoise ♂)
Leto (Zangoose ♂)
Heartglow (Shiny Marshtomp ?)
Fleeting Friendship
Colby <1, 2> (Buizel ♂)
Brie <F2, 1> (Buizel ♀)
Swiss <1> (Shinx ♀)
Nacho (Chimchar ♀)
Colby's Mom (Floatzel ♀)
Gouda (Golduck ♂)
Ricotta aka "Rikki" (Delcatty ♀)
Havarti (Luxio ♂)
Swiss' Dad & Mom (Luxrays ♂ & ♀)
Caught in the Moment
Ven (Typhlosion ♂)
Zulio (Floatzel ♂)
Waning Heart & Waxing Moon
Brandy <2, 3, 4, F1, F2> (Clefairy / Clefable ♀)
Tom Collins (Human ♂)
Whiskey (Nidorino / Nidoking ♂)
Gin (Gabite ♂)
Jack Rose (Human ♂)
Scotch <F1, F2> (Charmeleon ♂)
Mary Pickford (Human ♀)
Vodka <F1> (Lopunny ♀)
Brandy's Dad (Graveler ♂)
Sherry (Chansey ♀)
Rum (Nidoqueen ♀)
Bourbon (Monferno ♂)
Duncan Macleod (Human ♂)
Cognac (Golduck ♂)
Harvey Wallbanger (Human ♂)
Grog (Croagunk ♂)
Starting in the Lab series
Cedar <2, 3, 4> (Bulbasaur ♂)
Maple <2, 3, 4> (Charmander ♀)
Beech <2, 3, 4> (Squirtle ♂)
Total Characters: 73
―▶ Pokemon: 63
―▶ Humans: 10
Genders:
―▶ Male ♂: 41 (34P, 7H)
―▶ Female ♀: 29 (26P, 3H)
Pairings used: (combinations of characters, not individual scenes)
―▶ ♂×♀: 21
―▶ ♂×♂: 1
―▶ ♀×♀: 3
―▶ ♂×♀×♂: 1
―▶ ♂×♂×♀: 1
―▶ ♂×♂×♂×♀: 1
I'll add more useless statistics later and update this list. This journal is mainly gonna be something I'll link to, since I'm planning on making a new journal around V-Day, lol. I've just been meaning to make a list like this for awhile and give it its own journal page. So yeah, hope I occupied you a bit.
Minor or merely referenced (never actually in the story, but just mentioned) characters are listed in small lettering, whereas any major ones are listed normally, usually in the order that they appear in the story or story series.
I'll explain the color coding when I'm more coherent. It's late right now. But basically green means fanart (as does F#), yellow means XXX fanart, and red means XXX.
Lovebug
Zester (Pikachu ♂)
Lina (Caterpie ♀)
Middle of Nowhere series
Tommy (Human ♂)
Tango / Salsa <1> (Buizel ♀)
Jazz <2, 3> (Floatzel ♂)
Blues <2> (Azumarill ♀)
Waltz (Typhlosion ♂)
Boogie (Kecleon ♂)
Woogie (Kecleon ♂)
Polka <F1> (Buizel ♀)
Farruca (Flaaffy ♀)
Dirge (Quagsire ♂)
Elegy (Floatzel ♀)
Ska (Scizor ♂)
Boogaloo (Ursaring ♂)
Mambo (Piloswine ♂)
A Friend Indeed
Florel <2, F1> (Treecko ♂)
Dew <2, F1> (Mudkip ♀)
Torent (Swampert ♂)
Moyst (Swampert ♀)
Grey (Poochyena / Mightyena ♂)
Ena (Poochyena / Mightyena ♀)
Saved from Slavery
Marcus (Infernape ♂)
Lei (Aipom / Ambipom ♀)
Chloe (Bidoof ♀)
Talon (Staraptor ♂)
Agrith (Sneasel ♂)
King Garclif (Slaking ♂)
Lei's Mom (Ambipom ♀)
Bruno (Human ♂)
Marie (Human ♀)
Her Biggest Fan
Atra aka "Atty" <F1> (Weavile ♀)
Elly <F1, F2> (Shiny Plusle ♀)
Jeff (Human ♂)
Ignis (Blaziken ♂)
Effloresca (Roserade ♀)
Sanders (Sandslash ?)
Psyche (Kadabra ?)
Rachel (Human ♀)
Tsunami (Blastoise ♂)
Leto (Zangoose ♂)
Heartglow (Shiny Marshtomp ?)
Fleeting Friendship
Colby <1, 2> (Buizel ♂)
Brie <F2, 1> (Buizel ♀)
Swiss <1> (Shinx ♀)
Nacho (Chimchar ♀)
Colby's Mom (Floatzel ♀)
Gouda (Golduck ♂)
Ricotta aka "Rikki" (Delcatty ♀)
Havarti (Luxio ♂)
Swiss' Dad & Mom (Luxrays ♂ & ♀)
Caught in the Moment
Ven (Typhlosion ♂)
Zulio (Floatzel ♂)
Waning Heart & Waxing Moon
Brandy <2, 3, 4, F1, F2> (Clefairy / Clefable ♀)
Tom Collins (Human ♂)
Whiskey (Nidorino / Nidoking ♂)
Gin (Gabite ♂)
Jack Rose (Human ♂)
Scotch <F1, F2> (Charmeleon ♂)
Mary Pickford (Human ♀)
Vodka <F1> (Lopunny ♀)
Brandy's Dad (Graveler ♂)
Sherry (Chansey ♀)
Rum (Nidoqueen ♀)
Bourbon (Monferno ♂)
Duncan Macleod (Human ♂)
Cognac (Golduck ♂)
Harvey Wallbanger (Human ♂)
Grog (Croagunk ♂)
Starting in the Lab series
Cedar <2, 3, 4> (Bulbasaur ♂)
Maple <2, 3, 4> (Charmander ♀)
Beech <2, 3, 4> (Squirtle ♂)
Total Characters: 73
―▶ Pokemon: 63
―▶ Humans: 10
Genders:
―▶ Male ♂: 41 (34P, 7H)
―▶ Female ♀: 29 (26P, 3H)
Pairings used: (combinations of characters, not individual scenes)
―▶ ♂×♀: 21
―▶ ♂×♂: 1
―▶ ♀×♀: 3
―▶ ♂×♀×♂: 1
―▶ ♂×♂×♀: 1
―▶ ♂×♂×♂×♀: 1
I'll add more useless statistics later and update this list. This journal is mainly gonna be something I'll link to, since I'm planning on making a new journal around V-Day, lol. I've just been meaning to make a list like this for awhile and give it its own journal page. So yeah, hope I occupied you a bit.
February Begins
Posted 16 years agoSo I did end up completing my goals for January. I finished that most recent picture of the Kanto starters getting busy at 11:59pm on January 31st, haha, so literally just in a nick of time. I would have allowed it, though, you know, and I did touch it up just a bit before uploading it, but it's all good. :3
Now that February is here, I'm going to try do that again! It was pretty exhausting and I actually didn't think I would be able to complete both of the goals I had set for January. They were just there to motivate me to get some work done, you know? :3 Looks like they worked pretty well!
February will be one of the toughest months just due to the deficit in days. I will still try and complete it though and I am looking forward to doing a bit more writing on the Johto installment of Starting in the Lab in the morning! ^^
Sorry if I have been a bit aloof recently. I've been rather stressed and busy. I don't like that. At least now I can work on getting some new stories and drawings done and I have a lot more time to get them done, so that's a good thing.
Yep, well, that's all I really need to say for now I think.
Now that February is here, I'm going to try do that again! It was pretty exhausting and I actually didn't think I would be able to complete both of the goals I had set for January. They were just there to motivate me to get some work done, you know? :3 Looks like they worked pretty well!
February will be one of the toughest months just due to the deficit in days. I will still try and complete it though and I am looking forward to doing a bit more writing on the Johto installment of Starting in the Lab in the morning! ^^
Sorry if I have been a bit aloof recently. I've been rather stressed and busy. I don't like that. At least now I can work on getting some new stories and drawings done and I have a lot more time to get them done, so that's a good thing.
Yep, well, that's all I really need to say for now I think.
January Writing Goal complete
Posted 16 years agoI actually finished it yesterday, but just forgot to make an update about it.
Anyway, I have successfully completed the 30,000 word monthly goal I had set for January, writing a total of 30,339 words in the month of January on Waxing Moon, Middle of Nowhere Ch. 13, and Starting in the Lab (Kanto and Johto).
By setting a goal and sticking to it, I've managed to finish one story (Waxing Moon), resume work on another story I haven't touched in a year (Middle of Nowhere), and have even successfully finished a totally new story (Starting in the Lab - Kanto). That's pretty good! But it also feels pretty good, too, because I might not have done that otherwise.
It's kind of sad, though, because I was really getting into writing Starting in the Lab - Johto! This whole four-part series is going to be very fun, light-hearted action. I find it extremely fun to write, too, which is good. ^^
I know I still have Middle of Nowhere Ch. 13 to finish as well as a few other requests and stuff, but they'll be waiting for me in February, where I'll need to crunch down another 30,000 words. >:3 I'm looking forward to it!
Now all I have left to do is 5 more drawings and I'm set for this month's goals. Plus, I'm debating as to whether I want to count decent sketches (Zeph & Fluff being one, Scotch being the other) towards that goal or not. I probably won't, so that way I'm forced to color them, but you know... heh heh.
I know at least one of the drawings needs to be some hot Kanto starter action. XD And I also know that the drawings will fill up in my mind rather quickly, so sorry, requests are probably not a good idea. I don't really take them anyway because I tend to draw at my own pace, whatever it is that I would like, lol.
That's all for now, folks. I'll probably have Waxing Moon up Wednesday being realistic here, because I'm behind in work (had stuff come up x_x) and have to catch up with that. Ah well. It'll be worth it. :3
Anyway, I have successfully completed the 30,000 word monthly goal I had set for January, writing a total of 30,339 words in the month of January on Waxing Moon, Middle of Nowhere Ch. 13, and Starting in the Lab (Kanto and Johto).
By setting a goal and sticking to it, I've managed to finish one story (Waxing Moon), resume work on another story I haven't touched in a year (Middle of Nowhere), and have even successfully finished a totally new story (Starting in the Lab - Kanto). That's pretty good! But it also feels pretty good, too, because I might not have done that otherwise.
It's kind of sad, though, because I was really getting into writing Starting in the Lab - Johto! This whole four-part series is going to be very fun, light-hearted action. I find it extremely fun to write, too, which is good. ^^
I know I still have Middle of Nowhere Ch. 13 to finish as well as a few other requests and stuff, but they'll be waiting for me in February, where I'll need to crunch down another 30,000 words. >:3 I'm looking forward to it!
Now all I have left to do is 5 more drawings and I'm set for this month's goals. Plus, I'm debating as to whether I want to count decent sketches (Zeph & Fluff being one, Scotch being the other) towards that goal or not. I probably won't, so that way I'm forced to color them, but you know... heh heh.
I know at least one of the drawings needs to be some hot Kanto starter action. XD And I also know that the drawings will fill up in my mind rather quickly, so sorry, requests are probably not a good idea. I don't really take them anyway because I tend to draw at my own pace, whatever it is that I would like, lol.
That's all for now, folks. I'll probably have Waxing Moon up Wednesday being realistic here, because I'm behind in work (had stuff come up x_x) and have to catch up with that. Ah well. It'll be worth it. :3
The cure for Writer's Block: Writing
Posted 16 years agoI have just been rather unenthusiastic about writing Middle of Nowhere Chapter 13. I've got 5833 words written so far on it, which is okay, but that was all done in the past 5 days or so prior to today. Not exactly the level of progress I need in order to reach the goal of 30,000 words I set for the month.
It just hasn't been flowing. I did write a pretty steamy sex scene, but other than that, it feels like it's moving very slowly. I am really looking forward to starting the second "story" in the Middle of Nowhere series, which will hopefully give me a little bit more of a fresh start and will make things fun again, but I'm just far from there yet, so I have to get there. :/
So the other night, I was randomly coming up with an idea to amuse myself with. Yeah, I've got a bunch of story requests, but I don't really take formal requests anyway because I prefer doing things at my own pace, so I decided, hey, I'll write these thoughts out, why not.
Not that I really had that many thoughts right away. I just wanted to do a little series on each region's starters, so I was planning out the pairings in my mind and thinking how it would work last night. Sounded kind of fun.
Well, today I actually gave a lot more thought to it, gave them all names (I've got another theme, don't worry, haha), and really refined things. Plus I'm incorporating the Fiery Personality Charmander and the Adorable Totodile with Bows into the series. Why not, right? And I started writing out little outlines and summaries for each of the four "chapters" (if I even choose to call them that; they're going to be independent of each other).
After that, since I had some time off, I did some writing, hoping to get maybe 5k words done today if I was ambitious. After all, I had about 14k words to go in just a few days, so I'd be reaching NaNoWriMo level writing quotas if I didn't get back into the game!
So I wrote and wrote and got SOOOO into writing the Kanto portion that I pummeled that quota, going from 16,480 words this month all the way up to 24,745, getting well ahead of where I should be, and putting down a whopping 8,265 words in this story so far! Wow! That really did the trick! :3
These stories are not going to be very romantic. They're meant to be cute sex stories. I did a word search and I don't even mention the word 'love' once in what I've written so far, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I'm certainly not labeling these as romance stories. Just hopefully really good porn stories. And by really good, holy crap, I don't mean to toot my own horn (what a weird figure of speech), but WOW, the Kanto series has to have some of THE BEST THREESOME action I have certainly read. Like, wow, seriously, look forward to some nice bisexual ♂×♂×♀ action coming up. :3
I'll probably have it finished tomorrow sometime, then I want to draw some porn (hopefully) of it, because it was just that good. I sort of want to draw two porn pics of it haha, because there are two great scenes in there. XD
Yep, but you know, that just goes to show you that sometimes you can get a lot done by doing what you kind of want to do rather than what you don't really feel all that enthused about doing in the first place, as the case is with this new series.
By the way, I will be calling it Starting in the Lab, because there are so many interpretations to that and it sounds good. :3
It just hasn't been flowing. I did write a pretty steamy sex scene, but other than that, it feels like it's moving very slowly. I am really looking forward to starting the second "story" in the Middle of Nowhere series, which will hopefully give me a little bit more of a fresh start and will make things fun again, but I'm just far from there yet, so I have to get there. :/
So the other night, I was randomly coming up with an idea to amuse myself with. Yeah, I've got a bunch of story requests, but I don't really take formal requests anyway because I prefer doing things at my own pace, so I decided, hey, I'll write these thoughts out, why not.
Not that I really had that many thoughts right away. I just wanted to do a little series on each region's starters, so I was planning out the pairings in my mind and thinking how it would work last night. Sounded kind of fun.
Well, today I actually gave a lot more thought to it, gave them all names (I've got another theme, don't worry, haha), and really refined things. Plus I'm incorporating the Fiery Personality Charmander and the Adorable Totodile with Bows into the series. Why not, right? And I started writing out little outlines and summaries for each of the four "chapters" (if I even choose to call them that; they're going to be independent of each other).
After that, since I had some time off, I did some writing, hoping to get maybe 5k words done today if I was ambitious. After all, I had about 14k words to go in just a few days, so I'd be reaching NaNoWriMo level writing quotas if I didn't get back into the game!
So I wrote and wrote and got SOOOO into writing the Kanto portion that I pummeled that quota, going from 16,480 words this month all the way up to 24,745, getting well ahead of where I should be, and putting down a whopping 8,265 words in this story so far! Wow! That really did the trick! :3
These stories are not going to be very romantic. They're meant to be cute sex stories. I did a word search and I don't even mention the word 'love' once in what I've written so far, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I'm certainly not labeling these as romance stories. Just hopefully really good porn stories. And by really good, holy crap, I don't mean to toot my own horn (what a weird figure of speech), but WOW, the Kanto series has to have some of THE BEST THREESOME action I have certainly read. Like, wow, seriously, look forward to some nice bisexual ♂×♂×♀ action coming up. :3
I'll probably have it finished tomorrow sometime, then I want to draw some porn (hopefully) of it, because it was just that good. I sort of want to draw two porn pics of it haha, because there are two great scenes in there. XD
Yep, but you know, that just goes to show you that sometimes you can get a lot done by doing what you kind of want to do rather than what you don't really feel all that enthused about doing in the first place, as the case is with this new series.
By the way, I will be calling it Starting in the Lab, because there are so many interpretations to that and it sounds good. :3
I... I feel overwhelmed...
Posted 16 years agoI... I don't really know what I feel about things anymore. It's like all of the straws on the camel's back have been piling up and piling up until it finally broke said camel's back.
It's so hard knowing that you're doing the right thing, the good thing, that you're being there for so many people... that you're trying so hard to help them through things that you sometimes absorb their pain. I've been strong for so many people, despite how weak of a state I was just recently in... I was nearly overwhelmed then, but I pulled through.
I eventually found a hope that I held on to for the past few months... a dream, a realization, something that I thought could be. It pulled me through and caused my heart to beat again. It's one of the main reasons I've been able to recover from my own stresses, depressions, and turmoil, is that I had such a hope to hold onto.
There were so many things that I endured throughout that, biding my time, waiting until I thought the time was right... I have had to help so many people with far more serious problems than mine. I would make whatever sacrifice for them, staying up all night if that's what it took... I'm not just talking one person... I'm talking many, many people, close friends, immediate family, people that I care about, people that had little to no one else there to ease their pain and help them through their emotions...
I'm not going into their stories. That's not important in this post. The point is that I cared and invested so much time and energy into helping them because it was the right thing to do. I was hoping that by doing enough of the right thing, maybe, just maybe, I could find happiness again. Maybe, just maybe, all of the efforts I had put into doing the right thing would mean I could find happiness myself. I had hoped it would magically work out and I could be happy once again.
Here's a quote from about two months ago, in one of my journals...
Maybe my next attempt at love will result in someone being so unbelievably happy that I have feelings for them that there won't be any silly games to play and we can just be happy together.
That was sort of what I hoped for... that I could have a rock for a change. That after everything I have helped people with, that maybe I could just be simply happy with someone for a change. It's not much to ask... is it?
I... I told "Fluff" recently how I felt, what a great friend she had been to me for so long, and how she had helped me through a very difficult time. It meant an absolute ton to her to hear all of those words... she opened up and told me a lot of things that I won't go into, but that really make me realize that she's had no one to help her through her problems and depression, too... she really needed someone to reach out to her in the way I did.
I'm overwhelmed with joy and happiness to be able to make such a difference in her life. It's overwhelming thinking that she's been going through so much despair without anyone to help her through it for such a long time, that she's always remained strong on the outside, but really needed help on the inside and didn't even know it... I'm so glad to believe that I can make such a significant difference in her life and that I absolutely know I did the right thing.
But... that's just it. Yet again... it's about doing the right thing. It's an overwhelming feeling knowing how badly I want to help this person but also knowing how much I confused her with everything I had said. She didn't really feel the same for me all along, like I had possibly hoped. In fact... after saying some of the most touching things to her, she found herself thinking of one of her in-person friends ― who is incredibly similar to me, apparently ― in a whole new light... wondering if she wanted a relationship with him.
I just... it's so difficult absolutely, positively knowing that you've done and are doing the right thing, that you are making such a huge difference in someone's life, that you're helping someone when they have no one else to help them or no one else that will listen... but... it's just so overwhelming and terrifying thinking that, on top of everyone else's problems, I have to continue staying strong to help her through hers... all without feeling that instant spark, without feeling loved back (which is understandable ― she's never been relationship-oriented), necessarily, and with the fears of after everything I've said... it will just cause things to crumble.
I know I can rescue her... that I can help save her and lift her spirits. I'm just... I'm so afraid that after all of the strength it's taken for me to get through these past few months, that I won't have the strength to sustain myself anymore. I respect and care about her too much to force or insist any sort of firm relationship if she isn't ready... she needs to be free and happy.
It's just so difficult... I haven't cried so much in a very long time. I should be happy. I should be excited and so relieved to know that I can be there to reach out to someone who desperately needed someone to reach out to them... I should be so glad to be able to save someone so dear to me... I'm just... I'm just so afraid... I'm just so overwhelmed...
It's so hard knowing that you're doing the right thing, the good thing, that you're being there for so many people... that you're trying so hard to help them through things that you sometimes absorb their pain. I've been strong for so many people, despite how weak of a state I was just recently in... I was nearly overwhelmed then, but I pulled through.
I eventually found a hope that I held on to for the past few months... a dream, a realization, something that I thought could be. It pulled me through and caused my heart to beat again. It's one of the main reasons I've been able to recover from my own stresses, depressions, and turmoil, is that I had such a hope to hold onto.
There were so many things that I endured throughout that, biding my time, waiting until I thought the time was right... I have had to help so many people with far more serious problems than mine. I would make whatever sacrifice for them, staying up all night if that's what it took... I'm not just talking one person... I'm talking many, many people, close friends, immediate family, people that I care about, people that had little to no one else there to ease their pain and help them through their emotions...
I'm not going into their stories. That's not important in this post. The point is that I cared and invested so much time and energy into helping them because it was the right thing to do. I was hoping that by doing enough of the right thing, maybe, just maybe, I could find happiness again. Maybe, just maybe, all of the efforts I had put into doing the right thing would mean I could find happiness myself. I had hoped it would magically work out and I could be happy once again.
Here's a quote from about two months ago, in one of my journals...
Maybe my next attempt at love will result in someone being so unbelievably happy that I have feelings for them that there won't be any silly games to play and we can just be happy together.
That was sort of what I hoped for... that I could have a rock for a change. That after everything I have helped people with, that maybe I could just be simply happy with someone for a change. It's not much to ask... is it?
I... I told "Fluff" recently how I felt, what a great friend she had been to me for so long, and how she had helped me through a very difficult time. It meant an absolute ton to her to hear all of those words... she opened up and told me a lot of things that I won't go into, but that really make me realize that she's had no one to help her through her problems and depression, too... she really needed someone to reach out to her in the way I did.
I'm overwhelmed with joy and happiness to be able to make such a difference in her life. It's overwhelming thinking that she's been going through so much despair without anyone to help her through it for such a long time, that she's always remained strong on the outside, but really needed help on the inside and didn't even know it... I'm so glad to believe that I can make such a significant difference in her life and that I absolutely know I did the right thing.
But... that's just it. Yet again... it's about doing the right thing. It's an overwhelming feeling knowing how badly I want to help this person but also knowing how much I confused her with everything I had said. She didn't really feel the same for me all along, like I had possibly hoped. In fact... after saying some of the most touching things to her, she found herself thinking of one of her in-person friends ― who is incredibly similar to me, apparently ― in a whole new light... wondering if she wanted a relationship with him.
I just... it's so difficult absolutely, positively knowing that you've done and are doing the right thing, that you are making such a huge difference in someone's life, that you're helping someone when they have no one else to help them or no one else that will listen... but... it's just so overwhelming and terrifying thinking that, on top of everyone else's problems, I have to continue staying strong to help her through hers... all without feeling that instant spark, without feeling loved back (which is understandable ― she's never been relationship-oriented), necessarily, and with the fears of after everything I've said... it will just cause things to crumble.
I know I can rescue her... that I can help save her and lift her spirits. I'm just... I'm so afraid that after all of the strength it's taken for me to get through these past few months, that I won't have the strength to sustain myself anymore. I respect and care about her too much to force or insist any sort of firm relationship if she isn't ready... she needs to be free and happy.
It's just so difficult... I haven't cried so much in a very long time. I should be happy. I should be excited and so relieved to know that I can be there to reach out to someone who desperately needed someone to reach out to them... I should be so glad to be able to save someone so dear to me... I'm just... I'm just so afraid... I'm just so overwhelmed...
"Waning Heart" writing, crying, etc.
Posted 16 years agoI tried writing a bit of the final chapter of Waning Heart last night, but to no avail. I found myself too stricken with tears to really write anything more than a hundred or so words. Because, you know, I had to read some of the previous chapters leading up to the final chapter. It's gotten me so emotional, heh, but don't let my talk of tears terrify you... they're tears of joy, not sadness, and I guess my ultimate goal for the conclusion of Waning Heart will be to get you to cry at the end out of happiness. :p
But yeah, today was much better. I wrote about 5,700 words and should have the full story finished the next time I actually write on it, which I'm hoping to do sometime next week (Wednesday is going to be my designated writing day, though I might squeak in a few words on other nights). I'm really loving the ending. It might run to be a bit longer of a chapter, but it'll certainly be worth it, I'm sure.
Now that actually brings me to another thing I've been kicking around. You see, the name "Waning Heart" doesn't really fit the remainder of the story. You know, that "Chapter 9 - 16" or "Second Half" I keep talking about. All along I've been telling people that it would be fine to start reading at Chapter 9 if they wanted to avoid the rape and that it would make for a great story on its own. Well, you know, since "Waning Heart" essentially implies a "fading heart" and that's quite the contrary of the second half of the story, I'm going to split the story into two stories. Chapters 1 - 8 will be Waning Heart, just as you've read them (except I'll make a slight addendum to Chapter 8 saying to read the new story to continue), but Chapters 9 - 16 will end up turning into Chapters 1 - 8 of the new story, which I'm likely going to call Waxing Moon (or possibly "Power of Attraction", but Waxing Moon fits the theme a little bit better). Haven't fully settled just yet, but I think it's the best way of doing it.
I look forward to finishing this story or story series (actually, it will be written for the possibility of a sequel... just saying) so I can work on Middle of Nowhere and Fleeting Friendship again, as well as a few other one-shot stories to cap off my 30,000 word goal for the month of January. I'm about 20% there and the month is about 20% up, so I guess I'm roughly on par. Now if I can just do a bunch of doodles, I'll be able to finish my art goal, too. X3 If I don't reach the goals, it's no big deal, it's not the end of the world, but they're just goals that I'm shooting for accomplishing. :3
But yeah, today was much better. I wrote about 5,700 words and should have the full story finished the next time I actually write on it, which I'm hoping to do sometime next week (Wednesday is going to be my designated writing day, though I might squeak in a few words on other nights). I'm really loving the ending. It might run to be a bit longer of a chapter, but it'll certainly be worth it, I'm sure.
Now that actually brings me to another thing I've been kicking around. You see, the name "Waning Heart" doesn't really fit the remainder of the story. You know, that "Chapter 9 - 16" or "Second Half" I keep talking about. All along I've been telling people that it would be fine to start reading at Chapter 9 if they wanted to avoid the rape and that it would make for a great story on its own. Well, you know, since "Waning Heart" essentially implies a "fading heart" and that's quite the contrary of the second half of the story, I'm going to split the story into two stories. Chapters 1 - 8 will be Waning Heart, just as you've read them (except I'll make a slight addendum to Chapter 8 saying to read the new story to continue), but Chapters 9 - 16 will end up turning into Chapters 1 - 8 of the new story, which I'm likely going to call Waxing Moon (or possibly "Power of Attraction", but Waxing Moon fits the theme a little bit better). Haven't fully settled just yet, but I think it's the best way of doing it.
I look forward to finishing this story or story series (actually, it will be written for the possibility of a sequel... just saying) so I can work on Middle of Nowhere and Fleeting Friendship again, as well as a few other one-shot stories to cap off my 30,000 word goal for the month of January. I'm about 20% there and the month is about 20% up, so I guess I'm roughly on par. Now if I can just do a bunch of doodles, I'll be able to finish my art goal, too. X3 If I don't reach the goals, it's no big deal, it's not the end of the world, but they're just goals that I'm shooting for accomplishing. :3
Spoiler: 2010 is going to be 2008 part 2.
Posted 16 years ago2009 was one of the most substantial years of my life. It was also one of the least productive years. For almost all of 2009, my writing had flatlined, my drawings had totally ceased, and then in the last two months I managed to pull out over 92,000 words and 20+ drawings (I didn't post all of the art if it was gifts to friends that didn't want it shared). That actually helped make the year fairly productive, but it seems like a barren wasteland of productivity outside of that.
But a lot more than just writing and art happened in 2009. When I look back at 2009, I will think of it as the year I really learned both the joys and miseries of love. I would never hide or want to take back the wonderful — and even not so wonderful — experiences I felt while going through the highs and lows of love. I'm happy that I was able to experience it. I'm also happy to say that I truly experienced it. It wasn't just a dream, it wasn't just a fantasy, it was something really, truly real.
However, just as the happiness was real, the wrenching feeling of heartbreak was just as real to me. I know that I made several mistakes along the way. I've had plenty of time to realize that there were times that I should have been cheerier or should have done this or that. But there were also a lot of things I did right. One of the things I didn't do right was control blame. Whether it was justified, defensive, or just plain misguided, it's something that I want to erase and have already made a significant amount of progress in it.
Because of that, I will not spend any time blaming her for any of my heartbreak. I will not spend any time blaming myself, either. It wasn't meant to be. That's not to say I didn't love her with the full capacity of my heart... because I certainly, certainly did. I learned I was able to... maybe that was why I couldn't fight to keep us together in the end. I was tired of the guilt and the pain that I'd caused and I knew that she just really wasn't happy with me anymore... I can only hope that she can someday forgive me for that and that she can find happiness, as well as someone who gives her just the amount of attention she wants, happily and willingly.
I didn't see it back in September, when she broke up with me. I didn't see it in October, when I did the hardest thing I had to do and choose to end communication with her. But now I see that it was necessary. I now actually see that I'm a better person today, because of everything that I've had to go through and endure, and because of all of the positive changes I've been making in my life.
Rather than blaming the whole world around me for my problems, I've been trying to consciously help others with theirs. I've willingly lent my parents more money and am proudly working with them to get my father a job and motivate him again. I've tried my best to be there for several friends going through difficult relationship issues, even when one of them was the one that broke my heart long before my taste of true love. I've appreciated what I have and have stopped blaming whatever problems I have on other people or things, or have at least tried to be better about it. I've gotten past that numbing pain of heartbreak and have managed to feel my heart beat for someone else very special to me again that I never thought I could actually pursue, but am now confident in myself and hopeful towards a future (I'll have more on that in the coming weeks).
You see, other than some good friendships and a new story + art, I don't really have that much more going in to 2010 than I did going in to 2008. I've got a (well, another) sad ending to a love story, I've been writing, and I'm an independent, happy person like I was at the start of 2008.
2008 was a great year for me. I wrote A Friend Indeed, Her Biggest Fan, and Fleeting Friendship all in that year, as well as several other stories. I fell in real love for the first time. I was also pretty happy, save for the inevitable confusion of the whole crush/love problem before it became mutual. Oh yeah, and it was fun politics lol.
I'm thinking that 2010 will be a continuation of 2008 for me. I'm hoping it, as a matter of fact, because that was when I really pumped out some of my absolute best work period. I'm Zeph. I'm capable, independent, and though 2009 is over and left me with virtually nothing tangible ('cept for the blitz in November/December), it's definitely left me with valuable lessons that I've already learned and will use throughout the coming year.
Happy New Year, everyone, and may our 2010 be an excellent one!
But a lot more than just writing and art happened in 2009. When I look back at 2009, I will think of it as the year I really learned both the joys and miseries of love. I would never hide or want to take back the wonderful — and even not so wonderful — experiences I felt while going through the highs and lows of love. I'm happy that I was able to experience it. I'm also happy to say that I truly experienced it. It wasn't just a dream, it wasn't just a fantasy, it was something really, truly real.
However, just as the happiness was real, the wrenching feeling of heartbreak was just as real to me. I know that I made several mistakes along the way. I've had plenty of time to realize that there were times that I should have been cheerier or should have done this or that. But there were also a lot of things I did right. One of the things I didn't do right was control blame. Whether it was justified, defensive, or just plain misguided, it's something that I want to erase and have already made a significant amount of progress in it.
Because of that, I will not spend any time blaming her for any of my heartbreak. I will not spend any time blaming myself, either. It wasn't meant to be. That's not to say I didn't love her with the full capacity of my heart... because I certainly, certainly did. I learned I was able to... maybe that was why I couldn't fight to keep us together in the end. I was tired of the guilt and the pain that I'd caused and I knew that she just really wasn't happy with me anymore... I can only hope that she can someday forgive me for that and that she can find happiness, as well as someone who gives her just the amount of attention she wants, happily and willingly.
I didn't see it back in September, when she broke up with me. I didn't see it in October, when I did the hardest thing I had to do and choose to end communication with her. But now I see that it was necessary. I now actually see that I'm a better person today, because of everything that I've had to go through and endure, and because of all of the positive changes I've been making in my life.
Rather than blaming the whole world around me for my problems, I've been trying to consciously help others with theirs. I've willingly lent my parents more money and am proudly working with them to get my father a job and motivate him again. I've tried my best to be there for several friends going through difficult relationship issues, even when one of them was the one that broke my heart long before my taste of true love. I've appreciated what I have and have stopped blaming whatever problems I have on other people or things, or have at least tried to be better about it. I've gotten past that numbing pain of heartbreak and have managed to feel my heart beat for someone else very special to me again that I never thought I could actually pursue, but am now confident in myself and hopeful towards a future (I'll have more on that in the coming weeks).
You see, other than some good friendships and a new story + art, I don't really have that much more going in to 2010 than I did going in to 2008. I've got a (well, another) sad ending to a love story, I've been writing, and I'm an independent, happy person like I was at the start of 2008.
2008 was a great year for me. I wrote A Friend Indeed, Her Biggest Fan, and Fleeting Friendship all in that year, as well as several other stories. I fell in real love for the first time. I was also pretty happy, save for the inevitable confusion of the whole crush/love problem before it became mutual. Oh yeah, and it was fun politics lol.
I'm thinking that 2010 will be a continuation of 2008 for me. I'm hoping it, as a matter of fact, because that was when I really pumped out some of my absolute best work period. I'm Zeph. I'm capable, independent, and though 2009 is over and left me with virtually nothing tangible ('cept for the blitz in November/December), it's definitely left me with valuable lessons that I've already learned and will use throughout the coming year.
Happy New Year, everyone, and may our 2010 be an excellent one!
Christmas Dump part 2
Posted 16 years agoI'm really sorry that I couldn't finish all of the drawings I had on my list in time for Christmas. It was tough enough making a list of gifts to draw for in the first place, but I was honestly amazed I managed to get 10 full-color drawings done for people in just a few days before Christmas. :O
So yeah, I'm really sorry if you thought, "Wah, Zeph doesn't love me because he didn't finish my art first! T_T" That's far from true, haha, but I do feel really bad about it for making anyone wait, especially because the people I've drawn for have been particularly good friends to me and I chat with them fairly often.
That brings me to my next point, too, the whole, "Wah, Zeph doesn't love me because he didn't draw me anything! :'<" thing. You're all great. XD If I tried to draw for every single friend I've made, I'd have to start now just to finish in time for next Christmas. :3
I chose the people I drew for based on how often I've talked to them or have had conversations with them, how much I know them, and how much of an impact they've made in my life in one way or another. I mean, those seem like the most deserving people in my opinion to spend hours of my time for giving them something. I'd LOVE to have been able to draw something for absolutely everyone, but you know. XD
And really, it's not like you (or anyone else) drew or did anything for me for Christmas (other than maybe wish me Merry Christmas), so you really shouldn't complain, should you? :P
I'll try get Waning Heart posted in the upcoming week as a sort of belated Christmas gift to ALL of you that like reading my stories. XD Um, yeah, that's pretty nice, right? Right? X3
Yep, well that's all for now. I just wanted to say that I've finished that whole dump of Christmas art so I can go on with my life and work on other things again. 15 drawings in a week is a lot! XD
So yeah, I'm really sorry if you thought, "Wah, Zeph doesn't love me because he didn't finish my art first! T_T" That's far from true, haha, but I do feel really bad about it for making anyone wait, especially because the people I've drawn for have been particularly good friends to me and I chat with them fairly often.
That brings me to my next point, too, the whole, "Wah, Zeph doesn't love me because he didn't draw me anything! :'<" thing. You're all great. XD If I tried to draw for every single friend I've made, I'd have to start now just to finish in time for next Christmas. :3
I chose the people I drew for based on how often I've talked to them or have had conversations with them, how much I know them, and how much of an impact they've made in my life in one way or another. I mean, those seem like the most deserving people in my opinion to spend hours of my time for giving them something. I'd LOVE to have been able to draw something for absolutely everyone, but you know. XD
And really, it's not like you (or anyone else) drew or did anything for me for Christmas (other than maybe wish me Merry Christmas), so you really shouldn't complain, should you? :P
I'll try get Waning Heart posted in the upcoming week as a sort of belated Christmas gift to ALL of you that like reading my stories. XD Um, yeah, that's pretty nice, right? Right? X3
Yep, well that's all for now. I just wanted to say that I've finished that whole dump of Christmas art so I can go on with my life and work on other things again. 15 drawings in a week is a lot! XD
Christmas Dump
Posted 16 years agoYup, just dumped off a bunch of arts for gift arts. I've been drawing my ass off for the past few days trying to get them all done, so I hope you all like 'em and stuff.
Merry Christmas to you all, though I'm sure this is like the 35th time you've heard that today, so I won't go on too much on it. XD
I've still got a few more to finish up on, so hopefully I'll get them done and upload them tonight, otherwise it might be tomorrow or so. If you're not on that list, it's nothing personal or anything, haha, I mainly tried to focus on drawing for the people I've talked to a lot, that have been a huge support or had a big impact on me, and that I knew I could draw something for. (Besides, what did YOU get me, huh, huh? :p)
Anyway, yeah, um, enjoy and stuff, stay away from that eggnog that I said "hello" to (tsk tsk), and um... yeah, Merry Christmas (#36). I'll be back later tonight. XD
Merry Christmas to you all, though I'm sure this is like the 35th time you've heard that today, so I won't go on too much on it. XD
I've still got a few more to finish up on, so hopefully I'll get them done and upload them tonight, otherwise it might be tomorrow or so. If you're not on that list, it's nothing personal or anything, haha, I mainly tried to focus on drawing for the people I've talked to a lot, that have been a huge support or had a big impact on me, and that I knew I could draw something for. (Besides, what did YOU get me, huh, huh? :p)
Anyway, yeah, um, enjoy and stuff, stay away from that eggnog that I said "hello" to (tsk tsk), and um... yeah, Merry Christmas (#36). I'll be back later tonight. XD
Waning Heart progress + writing ideas.
Posted 16 years agoOver the past week, I've managed to get done a significant amount of writing on my NaNoWriMo story, Waning Heart.
In addition to writing, I've also managed to split it up into chapters (which can be difficult sometimes), with each chapter around 5k - 6k words in length. I have 15 chapters fully written right now and it is probably going to end at 16, meaning I have just one more chapter to write.
By the time that's written, it will actually be almost exactly as long as Middle of Nowhere is word-count-wise, pushing that 100k mark. But you know? I'm really happy with how the story turned out. I'll hope to have it up by Christmas or New Year's Eve at the latest. I still need to edit it, proofread it, and do some thumbnail art for several key chapters.
One thing that I'm also leaving open the possibility for... it's kind of a neat idea, actually. Well, I've made it no secret that the story contains rape and abuse. It's an integral part of the story because it's what the main character goes through early on and it chronicles her struggles moving past it and stuff. Not really spoiling, but more of warning, heh. However, clearly not everyone will want to read that much pain. I don't blame them. It actually works out that Chapter 9 - Chapter 16, though being mostly sexless, make for a REALLY GOOD STORY all on their own. If you read a summary to get an idea of what happened before, you could read the second half of the story and find a rather happy story. The first half is more along the lines of a dark prequel, then, hehe.
I think that's kind of neat how it works out. The second half of the story, which involves contests and love and stuff, really makes me smile. The whole story is pretty emotional, but thankfully a lot less rollercoasterish than, say, Fleeting Friendship — Waning Heart starts with the worst and gradually works to the best. But leaving the option to sort of pick up on the story halfway through and get another enjoyable story... hmm... I don't know, it could be rather cool. ^^;
Thoughts on that? If you really can't stand reading stories containing rape or abuse (from the victim's perspective), would you be likely to want to read the second half of the story if it only contained references to it and was light and happy? I'd love to hear. :3
Anyway, um, two more thoughts I had during all of this...
After finishing Waning Heart, I'm going to write another chapter or two on Middle of Nowhere because it's been so long. But I've also decided that I'm going to end the Middle of Nowhere story far earlier than I was expecting, ending it whenever Tommy and whoever else (that part's the mystery) eventually leave the sheltered land. You knew it was going to happen, leaving, so don't worry too much, but that is going to be the end of Middle of Nowhere. It'll probably work out to be 14 or 15 chapters total rather than the 25 or whatever I sort of had in my mind.
Bad news? Nahhhh~ Rather than pump that many chapters all into one story, I'm going to split it up. Middle of Nowhere will continue on as a series, with Middle of Nowhere just being the first story of the series. The next story in the Middle of Nowhere series (a series I'm going to call the "Nowhere" series) will be Nowhere Like Home. You can take a guess at what that means, though I'm not going to spoil that much more for you.
That way the title will match it a bit more, and you won't be reading something like "Middle of Nowhere Chapter 21" or whatever and it'll probably be "Nowhere Like Home Chapter 6" instead. Keeps it a little more organized.
Um, but again, does anyone have any objection to my methodology here? I'm not going to stop the series, just conclude one part of it and leave the second part with a fresh start, sort of. Maybe make it so anyone could jump into it without reading all of Middle of Nowhere...
Right... um, right, hehe.
So about that second idea. I think I'm just boring you all with all of this talking about writing and stories and stuff, so if you've read this far, take this cookie *hands you a cookie*. Now um... it's actually a pretty cool idea. ^^ I'm going to go through and make another new series called "The Making Of" series. I'm going to basically be writing up a bunch of commentary on some of my stories, writing my thoughts on the characters from more of my own perspective, why I thought them to do this, how and why I came up with their names, plot ideas I never used, early beta versions of the stories (I had 3 unfinished stories with a Treecko and Mudkip in them before A Friend Indeed!), stuff like that...
They wouldn't really be actual stories, but just give you some ideas of exactly what was going through my mind while writing them. And it could give you another perspective on the story in general!
Probably a stupid idea, but I'll probably write it anyway just so I can always remember for myself, haha. :p
That's all. Sorry for rambling!
In addition to writing, I've also managed to split it up into chapters (which can be difficult sometimes), with each chapter around 5k - 6k words in length. I have 15 chapters fully written right now and it is probably going to end at 16, meaning I have just one more chapter to write.
By the time that's written, it will actually be almost exactly as long as Middle of Nowhere is word-count-wise, pushing that 100k mark. But you know? I'm really happy with how the story turned out. I'll hope to have it up by Christmas or New Year's Eve at the latest. I still need to edit it, proofread it, and do some thumbnail art for several key chapters.
One thing that I'm also leaving open the possibility for... it's kind of a neat idea, actually. Well, I've made it no secret that the story contains rape and abuse. It's an integral part of the story because it's what the main character goes through early on and it chronicles her struggles moving past it and stuff. Not really spoiling, but more of warning, heh. However, clearly not everyone will want to read that much pain. I don't blame them. It actually works out that Chapter 9 - Chapter 16, though being mostly sexless, make for a REALLY GOOD STORY all on their own. If you read a summary to get an idea of what happened before, you could read the second half of the story and find a rather happy story. The first half is more along the lines of a dark prequel, then, hehe.
I think that's kind of neat how it works out. The second half of the story, which involves contests and love and stuff, really makes me smile. The whole story is pretty emotional, but thankfully a lot less rollercoasterish than, say, Fleeting Friendship — Waning Heart starts with the worst and gradually works to the best. But leaving the option to sort of pick up on the story halfway through and get another enjoyable story... hmm... I don't know, it could be rather cool. ^^;
Thoughts on that? If you really can't stand reading stories containing rape or abuse (from the victim's perspective), would you be likely to want to read the second half of the story if it only contained references to it and was light and happy? I'd love to hear. :3
Anyway, um, two more thoughts I had during all of this...
After finishing Waning Heart, I'm going to write another chapter or two on Middle of Nowhere because it's been so long. But I've also decided that I'm going to end the Middle of Nowhere story far earlier than I was expecting, ending it whenever Tommy and whoever else (that part's the mystery) eventually leave the sheltered land. You knew it was going to happen, leaving, so don't worry too much, but that is going to be the end of Middle of Nowhere. It'll probably work out to be 14 or 15 chapters total rather than the 25 or whatever I sort of had in my mind.
Bad news? Nahhhh~ Rather than pump that many chapters all into one story, I'm going to split it up. Middle of Nowhere will continue on as a series, with Middle of Nowhere just being the first story of the series. The next story in the Middle of Nowhere series (a series I'm going to call the "Nowhere" series) will be Nowhere Like Home. You can take a guess at what that means, though I'm not going to spoil that much more for you.
That way the title will match it a bit more, and you won't be reading something like "Middle of Nowhere Chapter 21" or whatever and it'll probably be "Nowhere Like Home Chapter 6" instead. Keeps it a little more organized.
Um, but again, does anyone have any objection to my methodology here? I'm not going to stop the series, just conclude one part of it and leave the second part with a fresh start, sort of. Maybe make it so anyone could jump into it without reading all of Middle of Nowhere...
Right... um, right, hehe.
So about that second idea. I think I'm just boring you all with all of this talking about writing and stories and stuff, so if you've read this far, take this cookie *hands you a cookie*. Now um... it's actually a pretty cool idea. ^^ I'm going to go through and make another new series called "The Making Of" series. I'm going to basically be writing up a bunch of commentary on some of my stories, writing my thoughts on the characters from more of my own perspective, why I thought them to do this, how and why I came up with their names, plot ideas I never used, early beta versions of the stories (I had 3 unfinished stories with a Treecko and Mudkip in them before A Friend Indeed!), stuff like that...
They wouldn't really be actual stories, but just give you some ideas of exactly what was going through my mind while writing them. And it could give you another perspective on the story in general!
Probably a stupid idea, but I'll probably write it anyway just so I can always remember for myself, haha. :p
That's all. Sorry for rambling!
I'm proud to say that...
Posted 16 years agoI'm finally through the throes of depression.
I've been depressed ever since late August. It's been a very miserable, torturous 3 months indeed. That's what heartbreak does to you, at least if you really loved someone.
But for the past two weeks or so, I've started making significant progress. It feels like my heart is beating again for the first time in months, that I'm able to feel confidence, love, and hope again.
Really. I've been "getting better" at various points throughout these past few months, but I'm really proud to say that today is the day that I realized I truly am "better." I'm me again. I'm happy again.
That's right, I'm actually happy. I feel happy, passionate, friendly, and confident in myself again. I'm no longer going to refer to myself as depressed or recovering from depression. I'm a fully functional person that just doesn't happen to have a reciprocal love at the moment.
I see my future in front of me now. I know that I will be a lot more successful and happy if I believe in myself and believe that everything will work out.
Believe. It's my new motto. Despite how the odds may seem against you, it's important to believe so much that things will work out in the end. After all, that's how it was in my last relationship and my last source of happiness, so just like then, now I just have to believe.
Maybe my next attempt at love will result in someone being so unbelievably happy that I have feelings for them that there won't be any silly games to play and we can just be happy together.
Anyway, I also wanted to share something else kind of interesting. I know a month or so back, I had some realization that love = happiness but not the other way around. On that sort of topic, I'd like to quote something from a forum that has been a significant help to me throughout the duration of my depression... I found it the other day, when I wasn't depressed, but it makes a lot of sense to me and there are a lot of people that need to consider this math, too:
The idea of the "ideal relationship" as commonly portrayed in romantic movies, stories, fairytales, etc:
1/2 + 1/2 = 1 Problem is, there's no room for either partner to be anything more than half a person. It unnecessarily limits both people. I suppose for some folks who have *a lot* of unresolved issues they don't want to face, this could work...but I doubt most people would be happy.
Next, the author described friendship as:
1 + 1 = 1 + 1 You and the other party were whole, complete, separate people before you got together....and you're still two whole, complete, separate people when you're together.
Finally, the author described a healthy romantic realtionship this way:
1 + 1 = 1 + 1 + 1 Both partners are whole and complete before getting together, they are still whole & complete after they get together...but there is something more when they unite. There's enough room here for each person to be all of who they are (and not just a half limited to the alloted space) PLUS extra room to go beyond and be more.
I really like that math, hehe.
I've been depressed ever since late August. It's been a very miserable, torturous 3 months indeed. That's what heartbreak does to you, at least if you really loved someone.
But for the past two weeks or so, I've started making significant progress. It feels like my heart is beating again for the first time in months, that I'm able to feel confidence, love, and hope again.
Really. I've been "getting better" at various points throughout these past few months, but I'm really proud to say that today is the day that I realized I truly am "better." I'm me again. I'm happy again.
That's right, I'm actually happy. I feel happy, passionate, friendly, and confident in myself again. I'm no longer going to refer to myself as depressed or recovering from depression. I'm a fully functional person that just doesn't happen to have a reciprocal love at the moment.
I see my future in front of me now. I know that I will be a lot more successful and happy if I believe in myself and believe that everything will work out.
Believe. It's my new motto. Despite how the odds may seem against you, it's important to believe so much that things will work out in the end. After all, that's how it was in my last relationship and my last source of happiness, so just like then, now I just have to believe.
Maybe my next attempt at love will result in someone being so unbelievably happy that I have feelings for them that there won't be any silly games to play and we can just be happy together.
Anyway, I also wanted to share something else kind of interesting. I know a month or so back, I had some realization that love = happiness but not the other way around. On that sort of topic, I'd like to quote something from a forum that has been a significant help to me throughout the duration of my depression... I found it the other day, when I wasn't depressed, but it makes a lot of sense to me and there are a lot of people that need to consider this math, too:
The idea of the "ideal relationship" as commonly portrayed in romantic movies, stories, fairytales, etc:
1/2 + 1/2 = 1 Problem is, there's no room for either partner to be anything more than half a person. It unnecessarily limits both people. I suppose for some folks who have *a lot* of unresolved issues they don't want to face, this could work...but I doubt most people would be happy.
Next, the author described friendship as:
1 + 1 = 1 + 1 You and the other party were whole, complete, separate people before you got together....and you're still two whole, complete, separate people when you're together.
Finally, the author described a healthy romantic realtionship this way:
1 + 1 = 1 + 1 + 1 Both partners are whole and complete before getting together, they are still whole & complete after they get together...but there is something more when they unite. There's enough room here for each person to be all of who they are (and not just a half limited to the alloted space) PLUS extra room to go beyond and be more.
I really like that math, hehe.
NaNoWriMo success!
Posted 16 years agoEarly this morning, after pulling an all-nighter and trying to crank out those last few thousand words (stayed up too late chatting rather than writing lol), I managed to break the 50,000 threshold for my NaNoWriMo story. It officially broke 50k at just past 7:00am.
My word count now stands at 50,036, just barely over that magic number. Because of that, my bar on NaNoWriMo turned green and it symbolizes my success for the second year in a row. :3
I don't think the pride sets in until a day or two has passed, but already I feel pretty accomplished that I managed to write another 50k word story! That actually makes it my 5th story with at least 50k* words in it (*Her Biggest Fan and A Friend Indeed were like 49k or something, so close enough). Hard to believe, but pretty cool nonetheless! :3
Ironically it took me almost the exact same amount of time to write 52,700~ words for Fleeting Friendship last year, so my pace was roughly the same. Interesting!
But just because I've passed that magic number doesn't mean the story is done. Nope, still far from it! I'm gonna keep working on it til the end of November and I'll see how far I can take it. :3 I might not finish the whole thing in this month, but I'll definitely get a good chunk done.
As it stands right now, I've just entered the fourth major plot arc. I have just one more major plot arc left after that, so that means there will be a total of five and I've got two to write still. Then it's done. :3
I haven't broken up the story into chapters yet and I'm not quite sure how I want to go about doing it. Possibly two chapters per plot arc, give or take, or possibly just crank out really long chapters that are sort of standalone in a way. Hmmm... XD
Well um, we've still got a few days left to work on NaNoWriMo! I'm wishing all of you working on your stories good luck! Get those creative juices flowing, try and dedicate some time for a nice good writing session or two, and maybe you'll have some time around Thanksgiving to do some catch-up writing.
And even if you don't meet the goal of 50k, you should still be extremely happy with the fact that you went out and started writing something great! Finish it. Don't shelf it just because November is over. Finish it! :3
My word count now stands at 50,036, just barely over that magic number. Because of that, my bar on NaNoWriMo turned green and it symbolizes my success for the second year in a row. :3
I don't think the pride sets in until a day or two has passed, but already I feel pretty accomplished that I managed to write another 50k word story! That actually makes it my 5th story with at least 50k* words in it (*Her Biggest Fan and A Friend Indeed were like 49k or something, so close enough). Hard to believe, but pretty cool nonetheless! :3
Ironically it took me almost the exact same amount of time to write 52,700~ words for Fleeting Friendship last year, so my pace was roughly the same. Interesting!
But just because I've passed that magic number doesn't mean the story is done. Nope, still far from it! I'm gonna keep working on it til the end of November and I'll see how far I can take it. :3 I might not finish the whole thing in this month, but I'll definitely get a good chunk done.
As it stands right now, I've just entered the fourth major plot arc. I have just one more major plot arc left after that, so that means there will be a total of five and I've got two to write still. Then it's done. :3
I haven't broken up the story into chapters yet and I'm not quite sure how I want to go about doing it. Possibly two chapters per plot arc, give or take, or possibly just crank out really long chapters that are sort of standalone in a way. Hmmm... XD
Well um, we've still got a few days left to work on NaNoWriMo! I'm wishing all of you working on your stories good luck! Get those creative juices flowing, try and dedicate some time for a nice good writing session or two, and maybe you'll have some time around Thanksgiving to do some catch-up writing.
And even if you don't meet the goal of 50k, you should still be extremely happy with the fact that you went out and started writing something great! Finish it. Don't shelf it just because November is over. Finish it! :3
The final stretch
Posted 16 years agoI wish I were doing more writing, but unfortunately family is around a lot more right now and we're all doing a lot more things together, so that means I don't have as much time for myself and writing right now.
But needless to say, I'm almost through with my goal of 50,000 words for the month of November. The final stretch is by far the easiest, because you get so motivated seeing it within your grasp, just a few short thousand words away...
To everyone still writing for NaNoWriMo, remember that you'll be able to get through it if you keep it up, if you dedicate time to write, and if you keep that flow going.
And remember that right where you are right now will probably be the toughest part, because it's the middle of the month, you're probably second-guessing one or two of your ideas here and there and asking more questions than writing.
Just keep chuggin' til you get to the 40k mark (or about 80% of whatever personal goal you set in case it's less). That's when the hardest is over.
Anyway... I'm really getting into this story, Waning Heart. It's quite a bit different from what I usually write, but then again, I try to make everything I write a bit different from anything else I've written, so it's sort of to be expected. XD
It's a lot more overtly dark than Fleeting Friendship, but that almost makes it hurt a bit less because it starts out dark and stays that way for a bit. It's supposed to be a rather psychological story, but it is thankfully one that has a gradual progression towards happiness.
Guess we'll have to see heh. I'm really looking forward to finishing Fleeting Friendship to be honest. I'm glad that I decided to not just jump back into it and get some practice again, because that's still gotta be my favorite story... ^^;
Um, yep, well that's about all I'm on about tonight. XD Sorry for wasting your time, but I just felt the urge to yap. :3
But needless to say, I'm almost through with my goal of 50,000 words for the month of November. The final stretch is by far the easiest, because you get so motivated seeing it within your grasp, just a few short thousand words away...
To everyone still writing for NaNoWriMo, remember that you'll be able to get through it if you keep it up, if you dedicate time to write, and if you keep that flow going.
And remember that right where you are right now will probably be the toughest part, because it's the middle of the month, you're probably second-guessing one or two of your ideas here and there and asking more questions than writing.
Just keep chuggin' til you get to the 40k mark (or about 80% of whatever personal goal you set in case it's less). That's when the hardest is over.
Anyway... I'm really getting into this story, Waning Heart. It's quite a bit different from what I usually write, but then again, I try to make everything I write a bit different from anything else I've written, so it's sort of to be expected. XD
It's a lot more overtly dark than Fleeting Friendship, but that almost makes it hurt a bit less because it starts out dark and stays that way for a bit. It's supposed to be a rather psychological story, but it is thankfully one that has a gradual progression towards happiness.
Guess we'll have to see heh. I'm really looking forward to finishing Fleeting Friendship to be honest. I'm glad that I decided to not just jump back into it and get some practice again, because that's still gotta be my favorite story... ^^;
Um, yep, well that's about all I'm on about tonight. XD Sorry for wasting your time, but I just felt the urge to yap. :3
Judging people by their pictures.
Posted 16 years agoThat stupid photo meme has been spreading all around FA. It's really funny watching how many people like to jump on a bandwagon. Whatever floats yer boat. Posting your picture probably just means your gonna get comments saying "you're hot" and other flirty stuff, or trash-talking you and making you feel like crap. (If you're a girl, it means you'll only get the former, of course, knowing the nature of FA.)
I'm gonna tell it from another angle. Personally I prefer not knowing what someone looks like until I am very good friends with them, and even then only if they are willing to share that information. Yeah, sounds contradictory to common sense, right? It is contradictory to human nature, that's for sure. We as humans want to know everything about everything, and that means the people we've seen around and talk to.
But think about it this way... when you see a picture of someone, you are now judging them subconsciously in your mind. You know what that artist or friend looks like and you will most likely associate their works with that picture in your mind.
I hate judging people. I hate being judged. I hate all of it. So many people are judged by their appearance without fair representation of who they are inside. Some of the most amazing people on the internet are some that you'd find horribly unattractive, ugly, or unpleasant to look at. They may have lived in ridicule or always felt like they weren't attractive...
Yes, I consider myself to be one of the above. Yes, I know I'm not alone in that feeling. Yes, I don't have a lot of confidence about myself or my appearance. But I don't believe it matters to me and it certainly hasn't mattered to anyone that's read my stories or enjoyed my crappy art, because you see the words I write, the emotion I put into things, thus you judge me for what I've done and how I've acted, not what appearance I was given.
I could be a man or a woman, white or black, skinny or fat, tall or short, and you'd be none the wiser because you've only judged me on my writing, style, advice, humor, personality, and... well, avatar, really. Isn't that all you SHOULD judge me by? Does any of the rest really make a difference regarding my personality and who I am?
Anyway... the point is, I think it's more important to judge people on their work and their personality than it is their appearance. It's a lot more shallow judging people based on their picture -- consciously or subconsciously. Not to say it's wrong or right (it'd be STUPID to say never wanting to see people is healthy or to call you shallow for wanting to see people), but it does change things, at least for me.
Thank Al Gore for the internet, giving shy nerds like me a place to fit into. ^^;
P.S. (I've looked at so many of those pictures people have posted though lol, so I guess I'm a hypocrite in a lot of ways. Human nature, human nature...)
I'm gonna tell it from another angle. Personally I prefer not knowing what someone looks like until I am very good friends with them, and even then only if they are willing to share that information. Yeah, sounds contradictory to common sense, right? It is contradictory to human nature, that's for sure. We as humans want to know everything about everything, and that means the people we've seen around and talk to.
But think about it this way... when you see a picture of someone, you are now judging them subconsciously in your mind. You know what that artist or friend looks like and you will most likely associate their works with that picture in your mind.
I hate judging people. I hate being judged. I hate all of it. So many people are judged by their appearance without fair representation of who they are inside. Some of the most amazing people on the internet are some that you'd find horribly unattractive, ugly, or unpleasant to look at. They may have lived in ridicule or always felt like they weren't attractive...
Yes, I consider myself to be one of the above. Yes, I know I'm not alone in that feeling. Yes, I don't have a lot of confidence about myself or my appearance. But I don't believe it matters to me and it certainly hasn't mattered to anyone that's read my stories or enjoyed my crappy art, because you see the words I write, the emotion I put into things, thus you judge me for what I've done and how I've acted, not what appearance I was given.
I could be a man or a woman, white or black, skinny or fat, tall or short, and you'd be none the wiser because you've only judged me on my writing, style, advice, humor, personality, and... well, avatar, really. Isn't that all you SHOULD judge me by? Does any of the rest really make a difference regarding my personality and who I am?
Anyway... the point is, I think it's more important to judge people on their work and their personality than it is their appearance. It's a lot more shallow judging people based on their picture -- consciously or subconsciously. Not to say it's wrong or right (it'd be STUPID to say never wanting to see people is healthy or to call you shallow for wanting to see people), but it does change things, at least for me.
Thank Al Gore for the internet, giving shy nerds like me a place to fit into. ^^;
P.S. (I've looked at so many of those pictures people have posted though lol, so I guess I'm a hypocrite in a lot of ways. Human nature, human nature...)
Need a good cry? Marimo.
Posted 16 years agohttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGQVX8iGbgk
I actually watched this several months back... and I found it to be masterful at how well it makes me cry, heh. It's hard to explain, maybe it's just me that finds it sad (I'm not even a dog person), but give it a watch if you're the crying type and need a good runny face.
Hehe. Marimo...
Sorry for randomness. I just had to share. D:
I actually watched this several months back... and I found it to be masterful at how well it makes me cry, heh. It's hard to explain, maybe it's just me that finds it sad (I'm not even a dog person), but give it a watch if you're the crying type and need a good runny face.
Hehe. Marimo...
Sorry for randomness. I just had to share. D:
Defeat is only a matter of perspective.
Posted 16 years agoDidn't have a chance to do any writing at all for NaNoWriMo today, unfortunately, which is a bit sad because it makes it the first day that I wrote absolutely nothing.
I was very busy today and spent nearly the entire day working on something for a friend or spending it with family in a more forced situation. Sometimes there just aren't enough hours in a day.
Rather than pushing myself for the next hour, I decided, no, I'm just going to take a break for the day. I've been working hard on it, I'm certainly on par, and I've shown excellent dedication so far.
Remember folks, even Zeph has days like this. You're perfectly entitled to as well. :3 Just don't make a habit of it and use the time to energize yourself for your next effort!
Defeat is just a matter of perspective. I could be all bummed out that I didn't get anything done today and struggle the next day, or I could accept it and not let it affect me to return with my vigor tomorrow.
The point is, do the best you can, and know that sometimes there are more important things than staying on track with your personal goal as long as you'll make it in the long run. :)
That's all. No sorrowful rant as I expected there to be. Just haven't really had it in me to do it.
I was very busy today and spent nearly the entire day working on something for a friend or spending it with family in a more forced situation. Sometimes there just aren't enough hours in a day.
Rather than pushing myself for the next hour, I decided, no, I'm just going to take a break for the day. I've been working hard on it, I'm certainly on par, and I've shown excellent dedication so far.
Remember folks, even Zeph has days like this. You're perfectly entitled to as well. :3 Just don't make a habit of it and use the time to energize yourself for your next effort!
Defeat is just a matter of perspective. I could be all bummed out that I didn't get anything done today and struggle the next day, or I could accept it and not let it affect me to return with my vigor tomorrow.
The point is, do the best you can, and know that sometimes there are more important things than staying on track with your personal goal as long as you'll make it in the long run. :)
That's all. No sorrowful rant as I expected there to be. Just haven't really had it in me to do it.
*cough cough* Made it through three things.
Posted 16 years agoMade it through three things today.
1. I made it through another day of being sick. I'm now coughing a lot more, but have no real sore throat or anything anymore and it's mostly just the cough. So that's a pretty good sign it's on the way out. Hurray!
2. Made it through my NaNoWriMo goal of 3000 words a day again. It's really something, because I had absolutely nothing written until after dinner which was TOTALLY opposite my plan, plus I knew I'd be watching some TV with the folks, so I thought for sure I'd fail. So I tried writing fast and writing as much as possible in the two hour window I had, and by golly, I managed to pump out enough like 3200 words after all!
Stay dedicated and focused! Dedication is a powerful motivator! The other night, I was also really worried that I'd miss my goal, but ended up pumping out an astounding 2600 words in an hour flat. I didn't check the word count at all until an hour had passed, and wow was I surprised! :O
So just remember that you have a phenominal amount of power if you can just tap into that drive to fulfill your goals! That's what NaNoWriMo is about, setting goals, and whether you look at it as a monthly goal or a daily goal, working towards fulfilling them and learning you have the capacity to meet them is one of the best things that NaNoWriMo teaches. :3
3. It's been one full month of no contact... I said I might write something about it today, but I decided I'm going to do it tomorrow instead.
But I do feel very reminiscent. Very wistful. I miss all of the really enjoyable times we spent together. I miss the feelings I felt whenever I'd talk to her, hear her voice, see her smile, giggle over her jokes...
I'm going to probably wind up beating myself up a lot tomorrow when I give this point full attention...
I'll just have to learn from the mistakes I made while with her, learn to treat whoever else I'm meant to wind up with in life with even more love and affection, and to do a much better job at being there... oh, and also dealing with criticism and depression better.
*sigh* I'll deal with it tomorrow. That and hopefully a ton of writing for NaNoWriMo. I want to break the 30k mark tomorrow. >:3
1. I made it through another day of being sick. I'm now coughing a lot more, but have no real sore throat or anything anymore and it's mostly just the cough. So that's a pretty good sign it's on the way out. Hurray!
2. Made it through my NaNoWriMo goal of 3000 words a day again. It's really something, because I had absolutely nothing written until after dinner which was TOTALLY opposite my plan, plus I knew I'd be watching some TV with the folks, so I thought for sure I'd fail. So I tried writing fast and writing as much as possible in the two hour window I had, and by golly, I managed to pump out enough like 3200 words after all!
Stay dedicated and focused! Dedication is a powerful motivator! The other night, I was also really worried that I'd miss my goal, but ended up pumping out an astounding 2600 words in an hour flat. I didn't check the word count at all until an hour had passed, and wow was I surprised! :O
So just remember that you have a phenominal amount of power if you can just tap into that drive to fulfill your goals! That's what NaNoWriMo is about, setting goals, and whether you look at it as a monthly goal or a daily goal, working towards fulfilling them and learning you have the capacity to meet them is one of the best things that NaNoWriMo teaches. :3
3. It's been one full month of no contact... I said I might write something about it today, but I decided I'm going to do it tomorrow instead.
But I do feel very reminiscent. Very wistful. I miss all of the really enjoyable times we spent together. I miss the feelings I felt whenever I'd talk to her, hear her voice, see her smile, giggle over her jokes...
I'm going to probably wind up beating myself up a lot tomorrow when I give this point full attention...
I'll just have to learn from the mistakes I made while with her, learn to treat whoever else I'm meant to wind up with in life with even more love and affection, and to do a much better job at being there... oh, and also dealing with criticism and depression better.
*sigh* I'll deal with it tomorrow. That and hopefully a ton of writing for NaNoWriMo. I want to break the 30k mark tomorrow. >:3
To those that are loved, or those that are looking...
Posted 16 years agoNow... leaving the topic of NaNoWriMo for a second (I had to split this into two posts x_x), I just kind of want to give you a heads up on where I am emotionally. It was a very difficult day for me yesterday as it was two months ago that she broke up with me and no longer wanted to be in a relationship... And tomorrow marks one month of zero contact on either side, something that we have both respectfully kept.
I am getting better, I do feel in a much better place than I did two months ago, and I am regaining confidence in myself. But she was someone that I loved with all of my heart, my first love, and someone that I knew loved me back.
I'll probably elaborate more on my own issues tomorrow or sometime... but for now, I just want to relay a message to anyone listening.
If you're fortunate enough to love and be loved, cherish it, remember how much that love means to you and how important it is to preserve it.
Love isn't about sacrifice. Love is about happiness. If you truly love someone, you don't sacrifice for them, you compromise with them. Listen to your partner. Talk with them. Work through your issues together rather than hiding things or worrying that you might not be good enough if you speak up. Don't demand too much and don't accept too little.
Always, ALWAYS be committed and trusting. Remember that once you lose that trust, it takes a long time to regain it.
Be yourself and not just an extension of your partner. Remember that you are two unique souls dancing together in unison, not one soul that needs the other to function (as sweet as it may sound). You should both be able to appreciate yourselves as well as each other, and you should both be understanding to that fact.
And remember that if you neglect love or don't give it the attention it deserves, it will shrivel up and die. Sometimes you don't realize how good something was until it's no longer with you.
To those of you that have already had your heart broken, or those of you that are still in pursuit of love, please remember that you should never be so blind to be "desperate" for love. It will only lead to one mistake and disappointment after the other other.
You can be an independent person capable of functioning on your own, but only if you choose to be. You can sit around and mope all day, wishing things would be better or that someone would love you. Again, that's a choice.
Recently I read a large post on "The Power of Attraction" on a forum I lurk at. I still don't believe the majority of it, that it is some fix-all cure-all that magically works and you should believe in it or fail in life. But I do see some very good points in it.
If you're in a depressed state, ask yourself why would anyone voluntarily invest so much time and effort into making you feel better if you aren't investing that time and effort into yourself?
If you constantly beat yourself up over your own flaws or looks or shyness, ask yourself why would anyone voluntarily invest so much attention into making you feel better about yourself if you aren't even willing to do that?
People prefer being around cheerful, positive people a lot more than they do gloomy, negative ones. You don't really find real love that way. You find people feeling sorry for you.
If you're a cheerier, more positive person, you're more likely to attract other people, cheery or not. If you're a friendly person and a good listener, you're probably more likely to attract someone that wants those qualities. If you don't care how you look physically and are confident in your inner beauty, guess what? You're probably more likely to attract someone that sees you as the most beautiful person ever.
If you're depressed and not making any effort to get better, what are you likely to attract? What sort of people want that quality? We're all entitled to be depressed. It's important for you to understand you have every right to be and that whoever else you are with is equally understanding. It's a part of life to be down about things. But when you stop trying to make things better, when you give up altogether on fixing things and working towards getting out of depression, what does that attract?
But don't let this "Power of Attraction" stuff lull you into thinking that if you want love, you'll just magically get it no matter what. It's something you have to work hard for, it's something that you have to be ready for, and it's something that you have to be able to accept takes time.
I think really the most important thing is to try focus on being independent as much as you can, to find things that you enjoy and do them for goodness' sake, and try be as nice and friendly as possible to other people.
During the time I was going through my heartbreak, I was barraged by all of my friends problems, all of their woes and miseries, and all of their own heartbreak. I listened to them, put their worries ahead of my own, and tried to be a good friend rather than sulking and only getting worse. I was probably attracting that because that was how I felt.
And though all of these friends are still going through their problems, I feel empowered because I did the right thing, I distracted myself, and gradually grew back to writing and taking pride in myself again. I remember that I'm a good person and that I'm now independent.
You can be, too. But just as I said awhile back... it's a choice. It's something you have to choose. Just like it will be a choice later on to fall in love with someone, it's a choice right now for you to make the best out of your life and focus on smiling again so you can attract what you want to attract someday.
I am getting better, I do feel in a much better place than I did two months ago, and I am regaining confidence in myself. But she was someone that I loved with all of my heart, my first love, and someone that I knew loved me back.
I'll probably elaborate more on my own issues tomorrow or sometime... but for now, I just want to relay a message to anyone listening.
If you're fortunate enough to love and be loved, cherish it, remember how much that love means to you and how important it is to preserve it.
Love isn't about sacrifice. Love is about happiness. If you truly love someone, you don't sacrifice for them, you compromise with them. Listen to your partner. Talk with them. Work through your issues together rather than hiding things or worrying that you might not be good enough if you speak up. Don't demand too much and don't accept too little.
Always, ALWAYS be committed and trusting. Remember that once you lose that trust, it takes a long time to regain it.
Be yourself and not just an extension of your partner. Remember that you are two unique souls dancing together in unison, not one soul that needs the other to function (as sweet as it may sound). You should both be able to appreciate yourselves as well as each other, and you should both be understanding to that fact.
And remember that if you neglect love or don't give it the attention it deserves, it will shrivel up and die. Sometimes you don't realize how good something was until it's no longer with you.
To those of you that have already had your heart broken, or those of you that are still in pursuit of love, please remember that you should never be so blind to be "desperate" for love. It will only lead to one mistake and disappointment after the other other.
You can be an independent person capable of functioning on your own, but only if you choose to be. You can sit around and mope all day, wishing things would be better or that someone would love you. Again, that's a choice.
Recently I read a large post on "The Power of Attraction" on a forum I lurk at. I still don't believe the majority of it, that it is some fix-all cure-all that magically works and you should believe in it or fail in life. But I do see some very good points in it.
If you're in a depressed state, ask yourself why would anyone voluntarily invest so much time and effort into making you feel better if you aren't investing that time and effort into yourself?
If you constantly beat yourself up over your own flaws or looks or shyness, ask yourself why would anyone voluntarily invest so much attention into making you feel better about yourself if you aren't even willing to do that?
People prefer being around cheerful, positive people a lot more than they do gloomy, negative ones. You don't really find real love that way. You find people feeling sorry for you.
If you're a cheerier, more positive person, you're more likely to attract other people, cheery or not. If you're a friendly person and a good listener, you're probably more likely to attract someone that wants those qualities. If you don't care how you look physically and are confident in your inner beauty, guess what? You're probably more likely to attract someone that sees you as the most beautiful person ever.
If you're depressed and not making any effort to get better, what are you likely to attract? What sort of people want that quality? We're all entitled to be depressed. It's important for you to understand you have every right to be and that whoever else you are with is equally understanding. It's a part of life to be down about things. But when you stop trying to make things better, when you give up altogether on fixing things and working towards getting out of depression, what does that attract?
But don't let this "Power of Attraction" stuff lull you into thinking that if you want love, you'll just magically get it no matter what. It's something you have to work hard for, it's something that you have to be ready for, and it's something that you have to be able to accept takes time.
I think really the most important thing is to try focus on being independent as much as you can, to find things that you enjoy and do them for goodness' sake, and try be as nice and friendly as possible to other people.
During the time I was going through my heartbreak, I was barraged by all of my friends problems, all of their woes and miseries, and all of their own heartbreak. I listened to them, put their worries ahead of my own, and tried to be a good friend rather than sulking and only getting worse. I was probably attracting that because that was how I felt.
And though all of these friends are still going through their problems, I feel empowered because I did the right thing, I distracted myself, and gradually grew back to writing and taking pride in myself again. I remember that I'm a good person and that I'm now independent.
You can be, too. But just as I said awhile back... it's a choice. It's something you have to choose. Just like it will be a choice later on to fall in love with someone, it's a choice right now for you to make the best out of your life and focus on smiling again so you can attract what you want to attract someday.
Second NaNoWriMo plot arc complete, cold is worse, etc.
Posted 16 years agoHaven't updated the journal in a few days here, sorry. My cold has gotten a bit worse and I've found myself rather achy throughout the day, which impedes my writing (due to aching it's hard to continue sometimes) and runs me out of energy by the end of the night.
My status update on NaNoWriMo is positive. I've fought hard to make sure I write 3,000 words a day and, so far, I've been able to stick to that goal. So much of NaNoWriMo is about sticking to your own personal goals and realizing that you have the capability to make any of them happen.
There have been a few times I've just sort of stumbled through the plot arc I just wrapped up. Some of it was cool, some of it felt like it dragged on, and really the story is probably no further along today than it was two days ago (bad signs, I know). But the point is I kept writing it anyway. I knew what I wanted to write and that I was going to write it, so even though I may cut it out or expand on it later, I don't have to do that until December.
It's actually going to be rather interesting. The story is becoming a lot more psychological than I thought it would be, and that's a good thing, because that was sort of what I wanted. Narrating insanity and psychological breakdowns and white padded rooms is kind of fun, plus neither of those things were in my original outline (it worked out really well though!).
Hopefully you all are enjoying writing your story for NaNoWriMo as well~♪ It looks like you've been keeping up at a pretty nice pace and I can't wait to see all of those words you've sculpted into a story! :3 And if you're chugging along at a slower pace than you would like, don't be discouraged, you can still get through it and make your comeback! Just get motivated and stick to your writing! Distractions and writers block are probably the two greatest threats to any NaNoWriMo writer. We all handle those two things differently, so figure out the way you best handle them and work towards preventing them as much as you can.
My status update on NaNoWriMo is positive. I've fought hard to make sure I write 3,000 words a day and, so far, I've been able to stick to that goal. So much of NaNoWriMo is about sticking to your own personal goals and realizing that you have the capability to make any of them happen.
There have been a few times I've just sort of stumbled through the plot arc I just wrapped up. Some of it was cool, some of it felt like it dragged on, and really the story is probably no further along today than it was two days ago (bad signs, I know). But the point is I kept writing it anyway. I knew what I wanted to write and that I was going to write it, so even though I may cut it out or expand on it later, I don't have to do that until December.
It's actually going to be rather interesting. The story is becoming a lot more psychological than I thought it would be, and that's a good thing, because that was sort of what I wanted. Narrating insanity and psychological breakdowns and white padded rooms is kind of fun, plus neither of those things were in my original outline (it worked out really well though!).
Hopefully you all are enjoying writing your story for NaNoWriMo as well~♪ It looks like you've been keeping up at a pretty nice pace and I can't wait to see all of those words you've sculpted into a story! :3 And if you're chugging along at a slower pace than you would like, don't be discouraged, you can still get through it and make your comeback! Just get motivated and stick to your writing! Distractions and writers block are probably the two greatest threats to any NaNoWriMo writer. We all handle those two things differently, so figure out the way you best handle them and work towards preventing them as much as you can.
First "chapter" done and Sick :(
Posted 16 years agoToday was a much more difficult day at writing as I had to write one of the main, um, well, adult scenes for my story. A rape-filled threesome. Very difficult to write, so I can only hope the end product turned out okay. I'll be sure to give warnings when I post this story, heh, because it certainly isn't going to be everyone's cup of tea. <_<
I was a bit worried that I'd narrowly miss the 3k quota I set for myself, stopping at like 2.8k, but then I caught my second wind and cranked out over 700 words in like 10 mins or maybe even less (finished at 11:07 and I started shortly after 10:55, soooo...), so that was a real relief and was just what I needed to pass my optional goal for the day of 10,000 words. Always a satisfying feeling reaching that magic number during NaNoWriMo. ^^
To all of you NaNoWriMo writers this month, well, hope you're having an awesome time giving birth to your new little hatchling stories! We're creating something new and gonna have a really nice story by the end of the month, right fellows? :3
And to all of my NaNoWriMo writing buddies, I've been watching your progress and you're doing great! Way to go everyone! :3 We still have plenty of time and our journey has just begun, but look forward to it and make it something fun and enjoyable.
The starting part of any story is usually the most difficult for me and a lot of other writers, regardless of what it is. It's usually the start and about 60% in that really get me!
Doing an outline or something can be helpful, but if outlines aren't your thing, try to think about your story a lot throughout the day, whenever you're unable to write, so that way you'll have fresh ideas and some direction to move your story forward! Writing is the grunt work to the creativity of your own mind!
Anyway good luck and be sure to let me know how you're doing or if you need a little extra motivation or something. X3
Now on to some rather unfortunate news. Looks like I've got a cold. D': I wasn't sure if I had it or not today, sort of felt like it, but not entirely sure, but now I feel that familiar scratchy feeling in the back of my throat that's a clear indicator of a sore throat forming. No doubt about it now, heh.
Hopefully it won't distract me from NaNoWriMo and will maybe even give me an excuse to write more of it! XD Thankfully it's not bad at all right now, but we'll have to see about tomorrow. ^^;
I was a bit worried that I'd narrowly miss the 3k quota I set for myself, stopping at like 2.8k, but then I caught my second wind and cranked out over 700 words in like 10 mins or maybe even less (finished at 11:07 and I started shortly after 10:55, soooo...), so that was a real relief and was just what I needed to pass my optional goal for the day of 10,000 words. Always a satisfying feeling reaching that magic number during NaNoWriMo. ^^
To all of you NaNoWriMo writers this month, well, hope you're having an awesome time giving birth to your new little hatchling stories! We're creating something new and gonna have a really nice story by the end of the month, right fellows? :3
And to all of my NaNoWriMo writing buddies, I've been watching your progress and you're doing great! Way to go everyone! :3 We still have plenty of time and our journey has just begun, but look forward to it and make it something fun and enjoyable.
The starting part of any story is usually the most difficult for me and a lot of other writers, regardless of what it is. It's usually the start and about 60% in that really get me!
Doing an outline or something can be helpful, but if outlines aren't your thing, try to think about your story a lot throughout the day, whenever you're unable to write, so that way you'll have fresh ideas and some direction to move your story forward! Writing is the grunt work to the creativity of your own mind!
Anyway good luck and be sure to let me know how you're doing or if you need a little extra motivation or something. X3
Now on to some rather unfortunate news. Looks like I've got a cold. D': I wasn't sure if I had it or not today, sort of felt like it, but not entirely sure, but now I feel that familiar scratchy feeling in the back of my throat that's a clear indicator of a sore throat forming. No doubt about it now, heh.
Hopefully it won't distract me from NaNoWriMo and will maybe even give me an excuse to write more of it! XD Thankfully it's not bad at all right now, but we'll have to see about tomorrow. ^^;
