I just received word that  Otterlike and  Bendor have both crossed the rainbow bridge…I didnt know either personally, but it is heartbreaking still to hear that some in our community have passed, especially in a time when it feels like a lot of stars are falling.

If you knew any of them, my deepest sympathies. And if you did, please share stories with me. Im here to listen.

Hey everyone,

If I dont respond, here is why. Currently at work, over HALF of our staff are out sick either with COVID or something else. Right now, coverage for the entire week, this includes night shift for our clients who suffer from disabilities, comes down to 5 people (myself included). I have been pulling a few 24 HR shifts trying to make things work and prevent the company from going under. Right now, however, things are looking less than adequate.

We tried to find more staff and I discovered, due to two ratings on Indeed, our company has a 1.5 rating. Which is not good. At all. Severe lack of coverage (and we were working with a skeleton crew as is!) so this whole week has been a shot in the paw.


Im sorry, I dont mean to rag but I want to explain why I am going dark for a while. 2022 is starting with a cannon blast to the chest and I am doing what I can to make things ok. I love you all and please understand. I will occasionally post art when I can during my breaks. Keep your paws crossed for my success…which at this point is just drawing breath.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/save-the-lazy-fox?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_campaign=p_cf+share-flow-1

Ladies and Gentle Furs,

We today have an opportunity to save a furry-owned and furry-run bakery. This place needs our help. Please donate, share, SAVE THIS PLACE!

Dec 14, 2009,

I officially joined FA. I became an official furry (would have joined sooner but I didnt want to until I solidified my name.) It has been a wild crazy journey, not always the best and not always the worst.

I met some amazing furiends, and I cannot thank you all enough for making my life full of joy and excitement! Thank you all!

Forgive me, but seeing as how finances are tight and I cannot afford therapy at the moment, I need to say this.

My father and his boyfriend have a major dysfunctional, unhealthy relationship. Pops was simping hardcore and the fucker was never pleased and didn't contribute much at all. If anything he would run away despite everything we did for him. Nothing was ever good enough. So he would either ditch us with a huge amount of rage (he has explosive anger issues), or he would blame Pops for kicking him out because the boyfriend would just be aggressive (passive or overtly).

So Yesterday, Pops had to go to a doctor’s appointment. I arrived home after running errands, and when I sat down to eat the doorbell rang. The boyfriend. So I open it and walk away (I've avoided him for months and ignored his existence) when he tells me

“Zeric? I just want to tell you, you won't be seeing me again.” He goes into the closet in Pops’ room and starts collecting his shit. Pops was blindsided. Yesterday the bastard was saying how much he loved Pops and how much he cared for him, yet waits until he knows Pops wouldn't be home to cut n run saying “I didn't want to start an altercation,” yet proceeds to say how Pops is at fault for me ignoring the bastard (lie) and just painting himself as the poor helpless victim. Chicken. Shit. Bastard. He is selfish and when I said that to him, he said “you dont know me.”

“I know what I see. This past Christmas we didn't have a huge party like we usually do. But Pops and I worked to decorate the house because you wanted your daughter to come. We worked, and you went off to visit friends or family. When Pops subtly asked for help, all you said was ‘You’ll get it done.’”

This bastard is opportunistic, cunning, deceitful, and cruel. He was on death's door and not one of his 6 children (all adults with children of their own) came to visit him or ask how he was doing. My father stood by him when even his own brother whom he is living with right now didn't bother to drive him to the hospital. And yet when my father is ailing because of nerves in his back making it impossible to walk, he finds his window of opportunity to cut and run just as he has done previously. I am so fucking sick of this!

Well people come to me and ask me if I can recommend any good artists. It is all about the price range and the style you are into, but here are my go-tos all in one lovely convenient spot!








Hope that, if you are looking for art, one of these lovely artists catch your eye :3

This past Saturday was something I can only describe as a dream. In California we have something called the RBFM (Rose Bowl Fur Meet) and, I had only ever heard about it but never attended. I have been living in California for my entire life, been a furry for almost 12 years, and nope. Never been to a con, or a meet-up, or anything. The admins of the group were going to cancel because of the weather (100-degree heat ain't fun) and, I do not know what came over me, but I volunteered my home for the event. At the time, I believe I was volunteering like Katniss did in the Hunger Games. I just said, "Zeric, look. You are a shut-in, with barely any really close friends and not many besides your brother whom you visit with locally. This may be your last shot at getting friends. GO FOR IT!" And I did. RBFM hosted their function at my place and I would imagine the number of furries that came was around 60-80. I was so happy! And so many of them were so kind and thoughtful and happy. It really made me smile. I will never forget this weekend.

Thank you to all who came, and thank you RBFM1 for making this weekend possible.

As some may know, Im on hiatus on my Telegram. Right now I need a break because I feel I am playing a losing battle. In my personal life, I play therapist to my father whose ex boyfriend was manipulative, hot-headed, and used him and would run when the going got even mildly tough.

Right now, the ex is being hospitalized due to a weird skin condition, bulging lower spine, and an allergic reaction that almost caused him to stop breathing. This weekend I was staying at my brother’s place,  FortuneOtter because being with my brother helps me recharge my emotional batteries. Thing is, while the medical mellow-drama occurred, my father had to text and call to give me every detail of what was going on, thus emotionally exhausting me in the one place I had to go to escape the drama.

My father has made my safe haven as dramatic and toxic as he has made my “home.” Despite the ex telling pops that he loved him but was never IN LOVE with him, if he survives, I know my pops would bend over backwards to have him again despite being toxic.


So...for now...I am taking a break from things. I dont know how to handle this anymore, and the one place I go to feel safe...isnt safe anymore...

So I thought of something fun off the top of my head: why not make an ABC list with musical artists that I love and inspire me. Then I thought, “out of all those who start with that letter, who do I like the best?” Well, this is mine. Some are filler since I didnt think of a group with that letter.

Whats your ABCs Music List?


Zeric’s:

A: Adele
B: Backstreet Boys
C: CHER
D: Daft Punk
E: Elton John
F: Fleetwood Mac
G: Girl’s Day
H: Halsey
I: Ivy Levan
J: Jennifer Hudson
K: Katherine Jenkins
L: Lady Gaga
M: Melanie Martinez
N: Nicki Minaj
O: Oleta Adams
P: P!nk
Q: Queen
R: Robyn
S: Stevie Nicks
T: Taylor Dayne
U: Usher (Filler)
V: Vanessa Williams
W: Whitney Avalon
X: X-Ray Specs (Filler)
Y: You + Me
Z: Zendaya

I dont usually do this, but I had the honor of talking to the dearly departed...

 Avarice_Panthera_Leo was a nice guy. Kinky, and kind. He really was a sweetheart and I knew he was struggling at the end. Some furs knew him better than I, but we all share a great loss today from losing this great man.

Hey. For those of you reading this and who have me on Telegram, I have a pet peeve of people who delete our telegram Chat history for both of us (the person and me.) I feel like by doing so you delete the history, good or bad, and as a historian it irks me.

So please don’t delete the chat for both of us unless you aren't willing to keep chatting with me.

As far as me not chatting: I get busy, tired, and COVID hasn't made life easy for anyone. Please don't take my silence as ignoring you or not interested in chatting anymore.

I noticed on my profile and my brothers (and everyone else's), the age part of our profile just went POOF! What happened? Anyone know? I am missing something.

Yesterday, I got my second dose of Pfizer.
Today it has been kicking my energy out of me but I am happy to have received it.

Im lucky my work got it lined up.

Today I got the call that  Fortuneotter and I lost our beloved auntie today. Auntie Anne was a wonderful, amazing woman with many fun stories and a true treasure of a woman. She had stories growing up with my father when they were younger, especially with our great grandmother having to sew her garments back together because her top-heaviness kept causing her bra straps to break. None of the men back in the day were complaining, and she even got a lot of tips for that when she was dancing. She was a trip and a half, and it breaks my heart to say that COVID was one of the contributing factors in her death.

Bye Auntie Ann, rest in peace.

Please also go give Fortune some love. This loss is felt throughout our entire family. She was a woman who cannot be copied or replaced. The world is a little less fun without her, and (if heaven does exist, I dont know) it certainly gained one busty angel.

I just want to send a message that you should not be ashamed of who you are or any part of yourself.

Tonight,  Fortuneotter and I were going to pick up a pizza at Blaze (which has a guarded build your own pizza station). He and I, typical, are wearing our furry badges because we were feeling it and we wanted to express our furry pride to the world. We are Zeric and Fortune, after all. Behind us, though, where these three guys, all blonde and in relatively good shape, and one of them was wearing a university hoodie to a pretty decent, relatively hard to get into school here in SoCal. So, hearing that their names were Jake, Michael and Edgar (relatively normal if a bit boring names...no offense to anyone who has those)...I will admit that I started to feel a little self conscious, especially telling the order person my name is Zeric.

These guys behind us did not say a word to us, did not communicate or do anything to us. OF all things, I was the one who was having a very sad, one-sided convo in my own head. That is always fun. But something my brother told me on the way home made me think. “That guy Jake? He ordered a pepperoni pizza. He had an array of toppings to choose from, and he only stuck with pepperoni.” Again, pure pepperoni is ok, but he had me look at my pizza. Kalamata and Black Olives, Garlic, Gorgonzola, two sauces, meatballs, basil, etc. I think the point that he wanted me to see, was that I was not like those guys that were standing in line. I wasnt a pepperoni pizza, something generic that is always adored by others. Im my own pizza, my own man and my own liolf. I am an acquired taste, for sure, but I am an eclectic celebration of so many things. I am flawed and quirky but I have a lot of interesting flavors that people will savor as unique and interesting.



Like toppings of pizza, there is room for everyone in this world. I know how scary it can be to compare yourself to others. Maybe someone thinner or buff, someone who goes to a better school, someone with a better house or a significant other. We tend to do this especially when our own lives seem so out of order and depressing. I am here to let you know, you are worth savoring. There is room for your pizza at the table. And you should never feel like you need to hide or tone yourself down to have everyone like you. Be yourself, and there will be people who will appreciate the REAL you, for who YOU are. And if you dont like something about yourself, your weight or your looks, what can be changed will. If YOU want it. Otherwise, your friends will stand by you and help you see the beauty in you (and your toppings) that they see.

Ok, so, twice in the last 2 days, I have lost 2 friends. I realize that it was because I suck as a friend. For those who know me and what I am about, you know that I am difficult and sometimes completely drop the ball on friends. I misunderstand when things are not clear, I am depressed and anxious as many people are, and I am just overall suspicious of everyone and always expect people to leave since it has happened before. I will not say who the people who left are because 1. They dont deserve to have their issues made public and 2. Because they are they had valid points for leaving.

I’m not a good friend. Times are not making it easy on anyone and I am not making it easy on the people who called me “friend.” Mostly because I am used to leaving once I fuck up because I dont want to continuously ruin someone else’s life. Call it selfish or misguided or even false heroics but as much as I hate people leaving, I hate feeling like I am staying somewhere I am not wanted or needed. Especially if me staying means I am just causing more trauma and damage to that person. No one deserves that.

So guys, if you want to stop and leave after reading this, completely up to you. I dont have the funds to get new art anytime soon, and I dont have a lot of strength to fight, and I am a crap friend right now. But I ask that if you give me some time, I dont know how long honestly, but just bare with me. I am a decent friend and am good at helping people with their problems.


Hope you all stay safe and please spread love and kindness. We have a new start and a new year, lets try and make the most of it.

Ok, so, twice in the last 2 days, I have lost 2 friends. I realize that it was because I suck as a friend. For those who know me and what I am about, you know that I am difficult and sometimes completely drop the ball on friends. I misunderstand when things are not clear, I am depressed and anxious as many people are, and I am just overall suspicious of everyone and always expect people to leave since it has happened before. I will not say who the people who left are because 1. They dont deserve to have their issues made public and 2. Because they are they had valid points for leaving.

I’m not a good friend. Times are not making it easy on anyone and I am not making it easy on the people who called me “friend.” Mostly because I am used to leaving once I fuck up because I dont want to continuously ruin someone else’s life. Call it selfish or misguided or even false heroics but as much as I hate people leaving, I hate feeling like I am staying somewhere I am not wanted or needed.

So guys, if you want to stop and leave after reading this, completely up to you. I dont have the funds to get new art anytime soon, and I dont have a lot of strength to fight, and I am a crap friend right now. But I ask that if you give me some time, I dont know how long honestly, but just bare with me. I am a decent friend and am good at helping people with their problems.


Hope you all stay safe and please spread love and kindness. We have a new start and a new year, lets try and make the most of it.

So I just found out that my father's business may have its funding cut in half. Wee, fun. This means, that we may have to sell the house (or look into reverse mortgage options) and just means that...I am worried about the future of my family. I don't want to complain because I know a lot of other furs have it much worse or have experienced this type of feeling or worry earlier on in the pandemic. I am not saying my worries are any worse than yours, Im just venting. It has me deeply scared. My father built his business from the ground up over 30 years ago, helping the developmentally disabled. To have that dream die is something no one wants to see. Losing the only home you've ever known, the only job you have ever worked in, the thing that gives help to so many others...it is scary.

We are going to keep moving forward as best we can. Regarding my social life, I have also noticed that I want to talk to people more often, but... I am still very cold and stand-offish. It's hard to stop being sardonic and cold. If I do, Im sorry. Just dealing with a lot of worry at the moment (as we all are.)



And to those, furry or not, who says, "A person shouldn't be that active in the fandom after they are 30, it's weird." We are ALL fucking weird. But that is what makes us awesome. If you are over 30, or 40, or 50, or even 170: Do not let ANYONE shame you for being true to yourself. We have paid our dues to get to where we are. We have earned our spot at the table and in the fandom. We have done the legwork to know who we TRULY are, and we should not let ANYONE discourage us from what we have had to overcome and understand about ourselves. You are all so brilliant and amazing. #FurriesOver30 Needs to stop. #FurryAndProud is what I am saying.

So I just found out that my father's business may have its funding cut in half. Wee, fun. This means, that we may have to sell the house (or look into reverse mortgage options) and just means that...I am worried about the future of my family. I don't want to complain because I know a lot of other furs have it much worse or have experienced this type of feeling or worry earlier on in the pandemic. I am not saying my worries are any worse than yours, Im just venting. It has me deeply scared. My father built his business from the ground up over 30 years ago, helping the developmentally disabled. To have that dream die is something no one wants to see. Losing the only home you've ever known, the only job you have ever worked in, the thing that gives help to so many others...it is scary.

We are going to keep moving forward as best we can. Regarding my social life, I have also noticed that I want to talk to people more often, but... I am still very cold and stand-offish. It's hard to stop being sardonic and cold. If I do, Im sorry. Just dealing with a lot of worry at the moment (as we all are.)



And to those, furry or not, who says, "A person shouldn't be that active in the fandom after they are 30, it's weird." We are ALL fucking weird. But that is what makes us awesome. If you are over 30, or 40, or 50, or even 170: Do not let ANYONE shame you for being true to yourself. We have paid our dues to get to where we are. We have earned our spot at the table and in the fandom. We have done the legwork to know who we TRULY are, and we should not let ANYONE discourage us from what we have had to overcome and understand about ourselves. You are all so brilliant and amazing. #FurriesOver30 Needs to stop. #FurryAndProud is what I am saying.

It's official. I have been a furry, officially, for 11 years today. Honestly, I feel like this is more fun and celebratory than my own birthday.

Here's to all the furries I've ever met, and those whom I have yet to meet. You are all splendid and amazing, and I hope you keep being true to yourself.

Today is my birthday.

...ok, back to your lives. stay safe.

A few weeks ago, I was given the task of being an Admin for a group on Telegram, and one of the admins trolled me to the point I was in tears. They changed their @ Username to match mine, and called themselves “Zeric the Zoophile,” touting and repeating baseless (and completely untrue!) claims that I RAPE ANIMALS!

1. I dont rape. Never have, never will, not my style.

2. I have never, nor will I ever, have sex with an animal.

3. The SOB had never met me before, never knew who I was, and even admitted to one of the other admins he did this just so he could get a laugh!

Times have been stressful and for now I think it best that I just take a small break from my Telegram. I will still be around and offering completely unlicensed therapy advice (but mostly advice as a concerned friend) and will check messages but will message back sparingly. I am just a little gun shy when it comes to socializing, and I appreciate the support and understanding.

Love you all and thank you for reading this.

This month I am going back up to Sacramento, and closing out my first apartment. Law school is over and I am moving on.

Now that I have substantially more free time, I think I can talk a little more now. Make some new friends. Or reconnect with some old ones.

Same goes for by brother,  Fortuneotter
Both of us feel we need to reconnect with the furries. Come say hi.

 telegram
ZericTheLiolf
Fortuneotter

Hey, everyone. So, for those who read this through, thank you. For those that don't, that's fine too.

So yesterday, I got a message from a friend telling me what I was hoping wouldn't ever come: The grades for the second half of my law school year were posted. To my dismay, the marks I earned were not even close to where I was hoping. Suffering through debilitating depression, anxiety, lack of a stable social and support system, navigating the treacherous waters of life, and trying to go through law school was...more than I can handle...

...So...he liolf who had it all figured out, whom everyone claimed was so smart and mature and well prepared, yada yada yada...is now in a position where the only straight track in life has been destroyed...and now, I need to figure out what the fuck to do with my life from this point onward...*takes a deep breath and sighs* I am calling into question all of my viable options, weighing the options, and just trying to refigure out what I am going to do. For now, though, I am not going to lie...
I am at a loss.

I am lost, scared, confused, and depressed. I need some time to figure out what I am going to do. Like my dream of becoming an actor, so too must my dream of being a lawyer be deferred and shrivel up like a raisin in the sun.

Finals are done. First year of law school is done. Future as a lawyer may be done, we’ll have to see. Don't feel bad, made a few discoveries and not everything works out how we planned. But, that’s life. And life is adventure that helps us grow.

So now, I am available to talk on Telegram. A little more than before. Im still sardonic as hell.