Wow…… I’m getting old!

Woah! I just hit 1,000 watchers?!? Thank you all so much!

I never thought that I would ever have a lot of people enjoy the art that I post here. I am very honored that you guys like it but I have to give huge credits for the artists and friends that I have worked with and got to know throughout the years.

 xxsparcoxx  Somniumfox  Juano  Roycefox  pyrocanis  nexus  cooner  Dalluwn  Lerion  Kitsunekit  SigmaX  BobbyArts  Marsel-Defender  Xypress  Doritohead  Andrew_Wolf  mikusz3  GranDragon  Samael_the_Gold_Bear and many others that you will see in my gallery. Please everyone go check them out, they are fantastic artists and such wonderful people.

Currently right now, I am in the works with on a 20+ page NSFW comic called “Russian with Benefits”. I may post it here in the future, I’m not sure yet but if you would like to see it now it is being posted in Juano’s page.

Thank you all so much! I love you all and hope to do this again in the future

Go figure…

If anyone has some suggestions how to deal with COVID, please let me know in the comments.

Today I am 24 years old today!

Here’s to a new year and screw 2020.

Por un nuevo año y al diablo 2020.

Thank you all so much for those who watch me, it is very special to me to see this many people watching my account.

Some of you do not know but I love Heavy Metal, Nu Metal, Hardcore Rock, Grunge Rock, any type of rock. There is one band that nobody really knows but the first part of my username is named after this band called Zilch.



The band had many band members during their small run, but the lineup that stand out the most is lead singer and lead guitarist Hideto “hide” Matsumoto, Rhythm guitarist and co-lead vocals Ray McVeigh, Bass player and backing vocals Paul Raven, and Drummer Joey Castillo. (who played with Danzig and Queen of the Stone Age)



The “1998” part is basically the year that Hideto Matsumoto died from suicide. He was a huge musical star from the 90s in Japan as a solo artist and before as a guitarist from the popular Japanese band X-Japan. He was basically a Japanese version of Kurt Cobain and Marilyn Manson mixed together. Many fans killed themselves over his death but his music and legacy lives on.

Zilch is no longer active as they disbanded in 2002, they were originally formed in 1996 by hide but they kept going after his death. Paul Raven also passed away in 2007 in his sleep.

Welp! You guys now know where Zilch1998 comes from!

That is right, it feels very weird to say this but I am twenty-three years old today.

Es cierto, se siente muy extraño decir esto, pero hoy tengo veintitrés años.

Okay so before anybody asks why I’m writing this? It’s because I’m down at the moment

In February I flew to Florida for my cousin’s wedding at a St. Pete’s beach resort. It was a very beautiful day on February 9th with a wonderful ceremony but after realizing I was all alone and thinking I could never get married or feel what it is like to love somebody I became very sad. My Cousin (who passed away from cancer and is the bride’s sister) she left this world in a tragic way. I missed her and I felt so lonely without a lover that I almost felt hopeless. The resort had 5 floors and on the top floor was where the wedding reception took place, on the other side where the reception was was just a hallway leading towards a balcony. I was all by myself and I noticed it, I walked down the hallway to get some fresh air and lean my arms over the railing of the balcony. Looking at the view of the ocean, I look down to see how high I was since it was the fifth floor. I had this gut feeling and my mind raced with all these thoughts of “Would anybody care if I’m gone?”, “Will they care now if I did die?” or “I feel I am the one that is missing out on everything in life”. I shed at least one tear before I grabbed the railing and put my foot over the bar, contemplating if I really need to do this. I was so nervous because I knew I would die if I jumped but would I feel pain is what I thought. I was scared to feel any pain and then I thought about my future with my family, seeing them crush over my death would probably effect them more than I think. I let go of the railing and went back inside to enjoy the party, still feeling sad but felt better later on that night.

I have had thoughts but ever since that night I never had any sort of commitment to kill myself like that.

It’s already been 5 years since Robin Williams’s death and it really bring a lot of emotions for a lot of us. It breaks my heart to see how painful and scary severe depression really is, and seeing a very funny guy who we all seen as kids die from such a sad way makes me cry almost. Depression is not a joke, I go through severe depression sometimes and I really feel like I can not go further. What’s making me continue is my family, friends and this community. These past twelve months for me have been very difficult, losing my close cousin to Stage 4 cancer, having my brother move far away due to rehabilitation for heroin, barely get in contact with him, suffering a kidney stone last July, and always alone in real life. I hated myself a lot and I still look at myself as a loser and I still feel I am haunted from my past as a kid. I want to move on but sometimes it is tough but I’m here. There have been some Good things that have happened to me such as getting promoted to full-time at my job, dumping an asshole partner (only in social media), and getting the help I needed from this community and my family.

I pray for not only Robin’s family but also to anybody who is suffering through depression, you are loved and you are stronger.

Welp it’s official, today is my twenty second birthday / Welp es oficial, hoy es mi vigésimo segundo cumpleaños.

This is a difficult journal to type but I need some help, my cousin who I call my “would-be sister” Amanda was diagnosed with Stage 4 Endometrial cancer on Thanksgiving. This came as a real shock to our family and we are very nervous. Please people, any donations would help a lot, I know she can beat this.

https://www.gofundme.com/mandys-jou.....mfort-and-care

Everybody please keep  macgregor9797 in your prayers

He is currently fighting cancer right now and recently this morning a friend of his posted on his account saying that his surgery did not go well and he would have to have another one coming very soon. This whole thing makes me shocked, worried, and sad even though I never met him I always admire the work he puts in, and NOBODY in this world should ever have to go through this. I pray for him to have a speedy recovery and make sure you show him some love in the shouts on his account.

I just got home after driving my older brother from our Long Island home to Brick, New Jersey for him to get detoxicated of his drug addiction. I’m Exhausted and nervous as hell, I don’t know if anyone on FA has been through this problem before but I’m scared as hell when he comes out.

Officially just turned 20 years old today!

I know this sounds like a dumb question but I just finished my first story, but I need help how to transfer that story from a file to the documents on Microsoft word 2016. Does anyone know how to do this?