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Can I tell anyone?
General | Posted 10 years agoI am trying to keep it together...I can't.... now it has gotten worse....
I saw the two guys who assaulted me on my way to my car a few weeks ago.... I don't think they saw me and they don't even know who I am; they were drunk/high or something. I could tell because of how they moved and how their speech was slurred.
I have been trying to avoid it and forget it ever happened. But I feel I need to vent to someone! From past experiences of friends and acquaintances I know for a fact that Campus PD doesn't do shit (They don't have security cameras and if I don't know their names they won't do anything but fill a report and they only care about the school reputation) And town police won't do anything because it is in the school PD jurisdiction.
I had a best friend who had been through far worse than what I went through and I wish we were in better terms ( I fucked up and made bad decisions when I was in a bad place of mind) so I can't go to her. So who can I talk to. I let it slip with some newer friends but didn't go into detail and don't know if I feel ready to tell them more.
Me and the love of my life have been together for 2 years... but he has no real experience with things like this and he doesn't have good bedside manner when it comes to things like this because of lack of experience or teaching about the situation... do I tell him? Can I tell him? I think he notices something ( he hugs me from behind and I shudder or jump and I frankly haven't been romantic and.. Ya know with him at all because I feel sick to my stomach.
My Parents... their one response would be for me to move back in with them and I cannot, CANNOT live with them again.
I haven't had a therapy appointment in some time... I just have a lack of trust in the person I had....
Who do I turn to? Who can I trust and tell them about it.... I know I should be proud that I shoved them away and was smart enough to threaten with pepper spray and they left me alone. But I sat in my car after it and cried for an hour. I need someone or this is going to be a poison in my body.
I saw the two guys who assaulted me on my way to my car a few weeks ago.... I don't think they saw me and they don't even know who I am; they were drunk/high or something. I could tell because of how they moved and how their speech was slurred.
I have been trying to avoid it and forget it ever happened. But I feel I need to vent to someone! From past experiences of friends and acquaintances I know for a fact that Campus PD doesn't do shit (They don't have security cameras and if I don't know their names they won't do anything but fill a report and they only care about the school reputation) And town police won't do anything because it is in the school PD jurisdiction.
I had a best friend who had been through far worse than what I went through and I wish we were in better terms ( I fucked up and made bad decisions when I was in a bad place of mind) so I can't go to her. So who can I talk to. I let it slip with some newer friends but didn't go into detail and don't know if I feel ready to tell them more.
Me and the love of my life have been together for 2 years... but he has no real experience with things like this and he doesn't have good bedside manner when it comes to things like this because of lack of experience or teaching about the situation... do I tell him? Can I tell him? I think he notices something ( he hugs me from behind and I shudder or jump and I frankly haven't been romantic and.. Ya know with him at all because I feel sick to my stomach.
My Parents... their one response would be for me to move back in with them and I cannot, CANNOT live with them again.
I haven't had a therapy appointment in some time... I just have a lack of trust in the person I had....
Who do I turn to? Who can I trust and tell them about it.... I know I should be proud that I shoved them away and was smart enough to threaten with pepper spray and they left me alone. But I sat in my car after it and cried for an hour. I need someone or this is going to be a poison in my body.
My Life is Ending... So there may be a delay in future chapt
General | Posted 10 years agoSo I am in grad school getting my certification to teach. At least I was until depression thrown in with a sexual assault I have never told anyone about traumatized me and I decided to take some time off. With this time included taking some incomplete in 2 courses and finishing them. However either there was some communication errors and they stayed incomplete for too long.
They sent me a letter... to my parents address who I don't live with and don't speak to anymore because of a falling out with them and am now just trying to open communication. during the falling out they threw away or returned to sender any letter for me because they disowned me.
Now I am trying to have a meeting with the director of the grad school department to find a solution before I get kicked out by the end of Grad winterim... which is in 3 days!!
I don't know what to do. I am scared. All my anxiety and depression seems to be beating me even on medication. I don't know how I can keep going. The last time this happened I lost all passion for everything, even my writing, which I was just starting to fall in love with again.
Gaia help me!
They sent me a letter... to my parents address who I don't live with and don't speak to anymore because of a falling out with them and am now just trying to open communication. during the falling out they threw away or returned to sender any letter for me because they disowned me.
Now I am trying to have a meeting with the director of the grad school department to find a solution before I get kicked out by the end of Grad winterim... which is in 3 days!!
I don't know what to do. I am scared. All my anxiety and depression seems to be beating me even on medication. I don't know how I can keep going. The last time this happened I lost all passion for everything, even my writing, which I was just starting to fall in love with again.
Gaia help me!
Need a name for 3rd Sibling
General | Posted 10 years agoSo I just finished the next chapter of Slim to None and all is all set except for one thing.... I need a name and gender for Kujitoa's Sibling.
(Looks like this) http://belka-1100.deviantart.com/ar.....osed-592363644
She/He lives in a group where males are seen as superior and yet (if a she) is a total Daddy's girl in the sense she tries everything to get his attention, even trying to show up Kujitoa. I have name ideas but I don't know what will work and since I am not a core member this is the only way I can do a poll.
So the names are:
Chuki- hatred
Mwongo - Liar
Kuibia (Kui for short)- Stealth
Tupa- to throw or cast away.
Confession of depression and attempted suicide
General | Posted 11 years agoMood: Emotional
Listening to: "Not strong enough" Apocalyptica
Reading: Old comments on DeviantArt
Watching: Studio Ghibli trailers for princess kaguya
Playing: With my cat's tail
Eating: sticky rice
Drinking: Lavendar Dreams Tea
I need love ... and help
I am suffering from depression and anxiety from the pressures of my family and grad school
Last night I went for a walk at 2 am when it was 8 F outside and got lost in the woods and around town in PJ's, slippers and a hoodie
When asked why I simply stated "I didn't have any plans, I just wanted to walk until I couldn't anymore and disappear"
I have lost the love for writing because of this and am in an extremely dark place.
Everyone tells me I was attempting suicide last night. was I?
Listening to: "Not strong enough" Apocalyptica
Reading: Old comments on DeviantArt
Watching: Studio Ghibli trailers for princess kaguya
Playing: With my cat's tail
Eating: sticky rice
Drinking: Lavendar Dreams Tea
I need love ... and help
I am suffering from depression and anxiety from the pressures of my family and grad school
Last night I went for a walk at 2 am when it was 8 F outside and got lost in the woods and around town in PJ's, slippers and a hoodie
When asked why I simply stated "I didn't have any plans, I just wanted to walk until I couldn't anymore and disappear"
I have lost the love for writing because of this and am in an extremely dark place.
Everyone tells me I was attempting suicide last night. was I?
An apology to Artists who I talked to
General | Posted 11 years agoI would like to apologies to artists for the confusion.I did not realize that you can't request more than one person to do a picture. I just love so many different art styles and would love to see Zarinas in different ways. I am very new to this and I heard from a friend that it was possible to have commissions from multiple artists and you aren't forced to stay with one artist forever. I hope I didn't intend to insult or hurt any artist out there. If I contacted you it was because I loved your style.
