I'll keep this one short but descriptive: Changed up my meds, talked to some folks and stopped feeling trash.

Yes in that way, I've just been a shitty asshole to people and stuck on my own beliefs that I'm supposed to be sad and miserable. I just don't feel right when things are going my way so I sabotage myself every chance I get, a friend of mine described me as being like an abused dog, I get it now.

I blame myself for everything I do cause I feel I should be blamed for something and when I don't I bring up shitty topics so people will have a reason to be mad at me. And now I have to suffer through the holidays plus the bullshit that brings, I'm feeling more like I cannot recover but for whatever reason there are people that want me around.

I'm just gonna keep dragging myself through life until "good" doesn't feel bad, or until I completely lose my shit and off myself , but that could be years from now. I just don't feel good at all and that's normal for me but it's awful to everyone else.

I've been off my meds for far too long and now I'm starting to go back to hating myself.
Thanks a lot stupid fucking kids that made me miss my appointment.

I always get fucked over by family in some way, if I'm dead before next appointment you know who to blame.

That is all for now.

Stop bullshitting me into thinking I am, it's worthless and just pushes people away from me. Also I'm not a good person, so uhh don't waste your time with me as there are much better people to deal with.

I honestly can't see myself spending over 30$ foe a commissioned pic, sure I'm a furry but I'm not THAT furry.
Also I don't really understand the mindset behind doing something like that, plus saving money is part of the reason I attempted to be an artist. YCH's, adopiables, popular artists and especially auctions are a fair bit out of my league.

Just putting that out there, most of the time I buy commissions it's a pic I got too frustrated to draw myself.

Yeah I'm just gonna disable notes for the time being, I'm dona being noted and blocked by people for shit I cannot remember.
Protip: I what you noting me for happened over a year ago ,let it go and move on with your life.

But that being said I'm no linger using the note system due to a rabid fanboy of someone who I blocked AGES ago.
Apparently people have the time to waste tracking down someone like me rather than using said time for something more constructive.

BTW I'm not gonna say here who it is and who noted me cause it's probably not worth it.

With my only real connection to the outside world cut off I can't really keep track of whatever is going on or what new thing is a thing.
It's a real weird place to be in, but whatever.

Well apparently the phone service wifi and tv were supposed to be bundled as one bill but when paid for all that stayed on was the cellphone and tv, internet is gone due to the money not being properly transferred. We've had direct tv for years and now that it's part of at&t it's been a pain to get everything turned on at once, and for whatever reasons my mother refuses to put any account information online cause she thinks somebody is gonna steal it. So I'm stuck here with my only connection to the outside world cut off and everyone else has phone internet.

I just need some kind of help, even if it means changing services.

X-mas didn't blow ass this time, wew.

Gee, my family sure does make suicide look like a good idea, my dad is a dick, my brother is an asskisser and I just gave up on life.
I don't need anybody telling me to keep going or any of that shit cause it ain't worth it, it just ain't. I'm not a good artist, I'm not a good friend and I'm not a good person. I just want this to be over, for good.

Happy fucking day before x-mas!

To all the people too busy panicking and being angry to contact the tumblr staff and get their account back:
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! AHAHAHAHAH!

Get your thumbs out your asses, stop complaining and do something about it. I'm not an artist on tumblr but I know what people are dealing with but what people are forgetting is that this is actually done to get rid of the pornbots not the artists, so just chill out and e-mail em if you get nuked, or don't cause I don't really care.

Yep, I'm ready for wave three and it's gonna be great

This month ends with a bang, and next month begins with one....

They finally found a way to make Peach even less of a character, she's a powerup now.
That is all you need to know.

{EDIT} More specifically it causes me to question the relevance of Peach's position as a whole, I mean if you can just grab something out of a block and become a princess then what does her position even mean?

bif dif

Actually no, I won't make promises or any of that crap cause there's no reason to. I don't feel like putting extra pressure on myself for something dumb and not worth the stress, however things will work out I don't really care.

Hoo fuck this was a thing, I have a dog now, there are people who consider me a friend and I'm different I guess.
In like a bunch of months I'll be 30, that's like someone's dad, I mean I should be someone's dad but I'm afraid something bad may be passed down with my shit gene-pool. What am I even talking about, it shouldn't matter cause I'm still alive and I'm still doing stuff. Lastly I want to be less sucky and afraid of doing things, I'm a damn adult I need to make something of it or whatever the fuck.

I'll find new ways to pass time and complain less, then just do shit. I don't know what this is all about but it shoulda been said.

Yeah, that's what I wanted to see more of and it was my original intention

https://discord.gg/QQCWxUr
Everyone is pretty chill, it's mostly calm and some of us are artists. Drop on in if you wish.
(but you probably won't)

 dragovian15
Check em out here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8469877/

I'm gonna take a pseudo break from FA an other art websites, It's stressful being around loads and loads of people that make me feel inadequate. I may or may not post anything new during this time not that it would matter, I just don't see myself improving to a level I'd be proud of.

I'm quite sure long time followers have heard this shit before, I know I have and I don't think it's gonna change anytime soon.

I played it and it hardly worked and I got a refund, Fuck peer pressure.

To add insult to injury I went ahead and watched a full playthrough on youtube so I'd never be tempted again.