Some tips on getting your nominee for The Good Furry Award https://www.askpapabear.com/good-furry-award.html noticed:

1. Make sure you include contact information for both you and the person you nominate.
2. Make sure you list AT LEAST one additional reference to contact other than you or the nominee--and if you can provide 2 or 3 references, even better.
3. In your comments, try to give SPECIFIC examples of what the nominee has done to deserve the award, rather than speaking in broad generalities. Anecodotes of good deed score big points.

Good Luck!
Papabear Grubbs Grizzly

I have created a new award for the furry fandom that is all about community spirit. Please visit https://www.askpapabear.com/good-furry-award.html for more.

My late hubby, Jim Fordyce, had a 2005 Dodge Caravan. This was his wheels for traveling around and covering stories as a news guy and blogger. The two of us had some great trips together, and it was the van he used to pack up his things and drive to California to his new home, where he died just four years later.

He actually died in the van. The van was parked and he died in it, alone, after having lunch with a friend.

I got the van after his death. I was going to give it to my friend Chris right away, but things happened. I ended up giving it to my now-mate, Michael. Michael at the time was in a bad situation with his then-husband who treated him as a veritable prisoner in their condo because Michael, even though he was basically paying for the condo but it was in his husband's name, had no car and ended up stuck in the condo whenever his husband left. The van provided him freedom (boy was his mate pissed when he got the van), and this gave him the chance he needed to escape a bad marriage and then, well, move in with me.

Recently, Michael decided to get rid of the van, and he agreed to give it to the original intended: Chris. Chris needed it badly as his own car was dying and the van was in great condition and allowed him to get a new job and make better money.

I've always felt cars were just tools. To me, they have always just been a way to get from Point A to Point B. But the Caravan is different. If cars could have souls, then this one has a blessed soul. It has served its owners well. It has been everything from a final place of departure to a vacation on wheels and from a liberator to a money earner for its owners. It even brought me my current mate.

I feel very emotional right now. I miss the van, but I am so happy that Chris has it and it is bringing him happiness.... God, I miss Jim so much. I miss the short years we had together.

I have this little wand that Jim left. It is a very gay wand. Clear plastic with a butterfly at the tip. It lights up, strobes, and when you push the button a second time it sings a little Japanese song. Jim used to "bless" things with it. I blessed the van with the butterfly wand before it went back to Michigan.

Blessed Be, Dear Caravan.

I'll miss you.

Finally made a commitment to lose some weight. I was up to 226 pounds and not feeling good about it. Am dieting with my bf. We cut out desserts and most carbs, and reduced size proportions. Mostly eat meat, veggies, fruit. Anyway, by doing this I have lost 18 pounds in less than 2 months! Down to 208. I'd like to be about 190, so I am halfway to my goal.

I'm continuing to work on The Furry Book. This will be the 12th book I have written (I've edited literally hundreds). None--and I mean NONE--of my books have sold worth a crap or made me any money. I've written a couple I am damn proud of, including my book about Potter Park Zoo and my recent book on California. Good books, if I do say so myself, but they only sold a few hundred copies.

If The Furry Book follows this pattern, it will be the last book I ever write. Tired of putting my heart and soul in books and not getting anything in return for it. No point writing books no one reads, anyway.

So, will The Furry Book be my last? All depends. We'll see.

update here: http://www.askpapabear.com/letters/.....the-furry-book

I'm getting really sick of being criticized for how I run the Greymuzzles group on Facebook. It's getting to where some people are insulting me, calling me "yellow," saying I suck, and so on. Of course, the idiots then get blocked from the group, but it really hurts when you are trying to do a good job and give people a safe place to share their furriness, and then you get this shit from ingrates.

I remember when I first started "Ask Papabear" and got the same shit from people criticizing me for trying to help others. Once, at Califur, I even saw a nasty post about me on a message board (the physical bulletin board).

Sometimes it's enough to make me wonder why I even try to help people. But, then I do get some compliments and they keep me going. Not that I'm looking to have my ego stroked--I'm really not!--but it would be nice to at least not be CRITICIZED for trying to do some good in the fandom.

Okay, end of rant. I get pissed off sometimes.

Cheers

.... once again fighting deep depression as the second anniversary of Jim's death approaches (Oct 27). Anyone got something happy to tell me about to shoo away the gloom?

Hello! Quick update on The Furry Book: over the summer I will be focusing HARD on the writing of the book. I apologize for the delay, but many things have gotten in the way over the last (OMG) almost two years, including Jim's death, the subsequent deep period of mourning (that I'm still not over yet, really), my mom's fading health (she is not going to make it through the year), a new roommate moving in, having to rearrange my whole life to accommodate said roommate, the death of a friend, and, well, other shit. Anyway, IT IS BEING WORKED ON. And, I believe, it's gonna be awesome. The Furry Book is not a history, it is not an "explanation of the fandom." It is a guidebook. I'm excited to finally get back to working on it. Thank you for your patience and the queries I have gotten.

Hi.... does anyone know how to fix a photo submission when it appears rotated 90 degrees?

Hi

FYI, I will be attending Califur this coming May, as always. However, this year I won't be sharing a room with Bart but will have my own room. I'm taking my new roommate and bf, Michael, with me. Michael is not a furry and has never been to a convention, but wants to see what it is all about. He is 68 and has a little trouble getting around, but looks adorable in overalls (he's a polar bear). Anyway, if you see us, don't be afraid to say "Hi"

sorry for the dark post the other day. I'm back to trying....

Apparently, some drama at AC and 2 Gryphon will not be performing this year. It's best to watch this https://twitter.com/2_gryphon to get the story from the bird's mouth, rather than from the rumor mill.

I've had a very tough week. I spent much of it going through the last of Jim's things and either giving them away or trashing them. A few key things I kept for myself to remember him by. It has been 16 months since his death, and I am still grieving, but I am trying to move forward. I have a new roommate moving in in March, which is a big reason I have to make room. I have started working on needed home renovations again, too. But this clean-up has been hard. It is very weird feeling like you are throwing away stuff that the man you loved kept around him. Intellectually, I know Jim will never need these things again, but it still feels like a betrayal in my heart. It is not logical, as Spock would say, but it is no less true. I will always be grieving for Jim. I see that now. I am not the same bear I once was because I will always have a corner in my soul that is sad. But I also know that the heart has lots of room for love, and I hope for days filled with love in the future. I have also been reading a lot about how quantum mechanics is shedding light on the very real possibility of worlds beyond this one. It is my ardent hope that Jim and I will be together again.... some wonderful day. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAu3a7CMA84

I am officially weirded out. Next to the door in the laundry room that exits to the garage is a key rack. It's one of the first things Jim installed when we moved in. Jim and my press IDs hung from that rack, never moving unless we went to an event. Since Jim's death, I HAVE NOT TOUCHED THEM.

Today, they are gone.

They are not on the floor. I have searched the house. Nothing. No signs of a break in (everything else is untouched, including TV, laptop, etc.) There is NO reason why anyone would want these photo ID press passes--nobody except Jim. My neighbor has a key to the place, but makes no sense he would do something like this.

Okay... well, if they turn up, I will let everyone know I'm crazy. If they don't turn up, I guess Jim took them as souvenirs. Enjoy, Jim

I hope y'all had lovely Christmases or are continuing to have a nice Hanukkah. Mine sucked. On top of missing Jim still, I drove the 6 hours to Fresno (then another 6 back), to see mom and sister. Mom is getting worse and worse. She can barely talk or move, and I can do nothing to help her. My sister goes to her wife's family's house for dinner. I didn't want to go. My sister-in-law's family is very wealthy and pretentious and it is very uncomfortable visiting them. When I accepted invites before, I got to watch the family give each other gifts while I look on, not in the picture. Gave my sister-in-law a music box; she gave me nothing. Christmas dinner was Del Taco in a hotel room.

So, I am back now in Cathedral City and happy to be back. I can really do without Christmas.

Bah Humbug.

I am so absolutely disgusted right now. Do people Really believe I only write my column because I'm an emotionally needy person who needs validation? http://www.askpapabear.com/letters/trolls

You know what, I am still grieving for Jim. I don't need this shit.

Jim's death has solidified in my heart and mind what the meaning of life is. One can only find meaning in Eternal Truths. Anything that is transitory or impermanent is not an Eternal Truth. These include things such as money, material goods, fame, and power. Love, however, is eternal and exists beyond the material. How am I sure? Jim, whose body was material, is gone, but my love for him persists and always will.

Now, that love once did not exist because there was a time before which I did not know Jim. But, after I met him and got to know him, I fell in love with him. Therefore, Love can be Created, and, if it is Real Love (not lust or romantic idealized love, but real love), it will always exist.

Therefore, we are beings who have the power of Generative Love, and that is the remarkable gift that God has given us.

Our purpose, then, is not to seek to be loved (passive love, because you are merely receiving it), but to learn to love and to create everlasting love in the universe.

(Real love does not dictate, does not seek to change others, but is accepting of others for who they are.)

If you seek to do something truly meaningful in your life, then go out and create a loving world.

Blessed Be.

I'm just sharing, no need to reply. I think I figured out how Jim died. You see, he was taking metformin for his diabetes. For years after he lost his regular job and had no insurance, his mother was sending him part of HER prescription. He was, I surmise, guessing what dosage to take. If not properly supervised by a physician--and even if, sometimes--one side effect could be blood clots in the legs. My theory is that, even though more recently Jim had a doctor and a doctor's prescription, he developed blood clot(s) in the leg because he wasn't taking the meds properly; one of these broke off and went to his lungs and killed him.

There's no way to prove that now, of course, and you would probably say "it doesn't matter," but it helps me get some closure because it helps me understand a reason for this and that it wasn't just God or Whoever being an asshole.

This is NEVER to be shared with Jim's mother, of course, because it might make her feel really guilty (I don't blame her--if anything, I blame the fact that Jim couldn't get insurance until Obamacare kicked in).

just took a moment to take stock of my life in the last six months since Jim passed away. In that time I have:

1. Dealt with the paperwork, ashes, bank, 401k, etc. that came with his passing, as well as trying to figure out subscriptions he had and how to transfer them
2. Organized and held the memorial that had 40 people coming to my house.
3. Replaced the catalytic converter on the van
4. Replaced the broken water heater
5. Replaced the leaky roof (thanks, Mom)
6. Written a 140,000 word book
7. Edited 5 other books
8. Taken a friend to endoscopy and colonoscopy
9. Taken another friend to emergency
10. Babysat a doggy for a week
11. Gone to the doctor twice myself
12. Got robbed and had to deal with the mess of a lost phone, wallet, keys....
13. Dealt with shit from Time Warner, Boost phone, etc.
14. Dealt with and filed the taxes (thanks, Sam J. Massarella)
15. Bought a TV to replace the one that was dying
16. Fixed the broken patio cover (need to do this again).
17. Sobbed my eyes out every day

So, if I seem a leeeetle preoccupied or distracted at times.... This is kinda why. I'm sorry, but when I thought of this I kinda went, as my werebear friend would say, "Wow. Really?"

Hi,

If you want to be on my contacts list, please let me know. my phone was recently stolen and I have to rebuild my contacts list

Jim died 6 months ago, as many of you know. I want to tell you a little story about him, if I may....

When Jim was a young guy, he met the love of his life, Scott. They were together as much as they could be, given that Scott was closeted and his mother hated gay people. Jim and Scott were together through the 1970s and 1980s. Then, I believe it was 1989, while Jim was working in Phoenix, Scott died suddenly of a heart defect while in New York. (In retrospect, the parallel between this and me and Jim is kind of scary).

Jim was devastated, of course. What was worse was that Scott's mother burned everything Scott left behind, and Jim was only left with a couple photos.

Jim continued with his life in radio and television. He met a guy one day--you know, can't recall his name, think it was Donald or some such--and was hopeful they would make something of it. But Donald turned to drugs (crack), and Jim had to tell him to get out (but he kept Donald's dog, Peaches smile emoticon )

After that, Jim was alone for 14 years. Then he met me. I was still married at the time, but we started working together on his website. You see, Jim got screwed a second time when TV news changed, firing most of its experienced people in favor of big-breasted bimbos. Again, though, Jim didn't give up. He decided to become an online journalist.

We worked very hard together, Jim and I, but especially Jim. First, it was MIentertainment, a venture in Lansing, Michigan. I won't go into why, but we had to close shop, another failure.

Again, Jim didn't give up. I got a divorce, and the two of us moved to California to start again. He did news and entertainment online in this valley of Coachella for four years. Not to be bitter, but except for a few good people (you know who you are, I won't mention you by name for fear of forgetting someone, but you know), Jim was largely f***ed over by the business culture here.

But he didn't give up. He was working on a book about California and a new travel show about the state when his beautiful, wonderful heart finally had to rest, and Jim went to Heaven.

But, in his years with me, I know one thing: despite it all, Jim was happy. He loved his work. He loved California, and he loved me, and I him. Who could ask for more?

So, to honor Jim, I think the best way is to emulate him. To never give up on life or on love. i will live the best life I can while I am here, and Jim will always be with me. And, one day, when my heart needs rest, too, I will see him again. Life is not forever. But love, genuine love, is.

Let's all take a lesson from Jim.
Love,
Kevin

The most beautiful sentence ever uttered.

"This is really happening."

The most terrifying sentence ever uttered....

"This is really happening."

The saddest sentence ever uttered....

"This will never happen again."

The most false sentence every uttered....

"This will never happen again."

Just thinking out loud. I've been reading furry fiction a lot lately, and it occurs to me that much of it--well, all of it, really--is just regular fiction with characters that are anthros. The stories might as well have humans in it, is what I'm saying, for they are interchangeable.

It would be interesting to me if people started writing furry fiction in which the animal sides of the characters were more prominent. For example, a dog detective who literally uses his nose to help solve crimes, or a porcupine who uses his quills as weapons, or a cheetah who uses tremendous speed to help win a battle in a military conflict, that sort of thing. What I see instead is characters who look like animals but pretty much have the same weaknesses as human beings.

Hmmm. Thoughts? Anyone come across some furry fiction where this is not true? It's entirely possible I've missed some good stuff.

thanks

Hi, furiends,

I saw The Jungle Book last night and was made very happy. While I love Disney's animated version waybackwhen, I will sincerely say that this new version is a great improvement on that. It's not just about the CGI, either. Unlike the cartoon, they put much more effort into writing this one, and it shows. Better writing, more complex characters, better plotting, better editing, better everything.

They are getting VERY GOOD at blending reality with CGI. When it comes to this aspect of the film, it shows a strong leap forward for Disney.

And, yes, Baloo comes off very well Was a little nervous about Bill Murray doing the voice, but I liked it.

I give this one four paws up hehe.

Go see it. Oh, I saw it in 3D, which was nice, but not really necessary.

Hugs