I was going to do more, but since FA broke the [yt] tag, and has no plans to bring it back, it looks like I'm done with those.

Sorry, guys :/

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hicC.....p;hd=1[/video]

Disregard this, FA sucks cocks.

That last journal stretched my page out as big as my waistline is right now.

I'm going to try to keep this as low as I can on the angst scale. I'm obviously not at MFF, and it's the first year I havn't been able to go in quite some time.

Backtracking about 6 years back, AC06 was my first con. I graduated high school, my life was hell, and furry was my only solace in the world. I walked into that hotel and could not even begin to contain my grin. This is where I belong, I had thought. I thought it was a fitting time to have a first convention, the first year AC would come to Pittsburgh, closer to me and to a new venue. It was a new experience for everyone. I had an amazing time going to panels, geeking out over big name furry people, jaw dropping at the raves and generally being a giant furfag. Every year since then, save for FWA, was experiences that only got better and better as I learned how to best make the most of my time.

But time went on and although my interest in furry has remained solid and strong, I soon found myself going to cons for a completely different reason. At cons, I met amazing people from all over the world. People with all different skills, personalities, quirks, cultural differences, and it is just absolutely amazing. How amazing, I thought, that we live in a time where THOUSANDS of people from all over the world have the ability to fly to one place on this earth and converge and meet like a family reunion because of 1s and 0s that form words an ideas on a screen.

That's insane. Have you ever really thought about that? I have many times found myself in a room at furry conventions with a bunch of people just laughing and joking and carrying on, only to have it hit me half way in that I am in a room with people from clear across this planet. At one point I'm in a room with people from all four corners of the U.S, a few guys from Australia, a guy from Greece, a few UK furs. At other parties, it'd be even more broad a group of people.

That's crazy. crazy, crazy awesome. What is even more awesome then that is the unity among us. To laugh, drink, joke about our differences at times, scritch and cuddle like giant furfags, poke fun and and laugh at people in fursuits for a weekend, and at the end of it fly back all the way across this planet, some of us, to our respective homes.

I really do implore people to think about how lucky we are to live in a time where we can do that, really.

I suppose, on that note, that's why it gets to me when I have to miss a convention. It's not the fact that I won't be able to have fun for a weekend, it's the fact that I am missing a family reunion. A gathering of friends of whom I may never see again and some of whom I would die for. I have never found myself sitting moping at the idea of everyone else out there having fun, but I do mope about the fact that I am missing out on experiences with people I love. Truly, deeply love.

Even at cons I get this incredibly cheesy urge at the end of it all to grab some of my friends, hug them tight, and tell them how much they mean to me. Usually, I opt to hug them tight and tell them not farewell, but 'until next time', with an unspoken yet just as known expression that tells what I want to say... Because really, at the end of it all, it's not about being sad that it's over, it's about being glad that it happened.

So there's my little rant.

As I side note, here's some things I've learned over the years at cons:

1) Room with the people you want to spent time with the most. If you're there for panels over people, rooming with local people might be your thing. If you're like me, try to room with people you don't get to spend time with out of cons and whom you'd like to spend the most time with. Obviously, make sure you can trust that they'll be there, and have a fall back as rooming with people who have to travel lengthy ways to get to cons may run into problems.

2) Don't make plans. Don't make plans prior to the con. If you want to go to panels, fine, but keep in mind that if you're sitting there going "I'm going to do this at this time", then you won't have nearly as much time as if you're doing things on the fly. Go to eat with friends you don't see often. Wander around a lot with no real goal other then to see people you know.

3) There are plenty of ways to meet people if you don't know anyone. If you're shy, don't let it get to you. There's plenty of places to do so (gaming rooms, board gaming, zoo). Even wandering around the dealer's den/artist alley and respectfully (key word) butting into passing conversations* can be a great way to meet new people.

*: Any other time I'd say no, but furries at cons are pretty open to it. obviously unless it's a group of friends in a circle talking, don't just walk up and start yammering away, but go around, look at stuff, make a comment or so at people who are doing the same. there are many ways to do it. Just think of what would and wouldn't make you feel awkward if you were in their/different positions.

4) Get up early, stay up late., but always get a decent amount of sleep, eat meals, and shower. I usually shoot to get up around 8-9AM and stay up til 2-3AM. this is just my opinion, but the more you're awake, the more experiences you're having.. and that's why you're there, right? just don't push yourself and break yourself to do it. Be smart. People will tell you to get a certain amount of sleep, but if you can do with less, do with less. Just don't lie to yourself and/or try to stay awake the entire con.

5) Don't make it stressful. I've been struggling with this myself, but remember that you're there for a vacation, and that you can just as well stress yourself trying to do too many things with too many people. Sometimes you have to choose and that's fine (I always suggest choosing further away friends over local friends. you can ALWAYS see them.)

6) Tip. Don't be a dick. This isn't just for going out to eat, or hotels, but it probably isn't a bad idea to tip artists that you commission either. I'm guilty in not doing it, but it also never occurred to me until recently (durr).

7) Chat with artists/dealers but don't hog their space. If you don't intend to buy anything, or are browsing and chatting, always make way for people who may want to actually purchase something. That being said, I'm sure artists/dealers get a little pent up sitting at those tables for so long. Most don't mind a friendly chat, but again... Don't hog their time too much either, because keep in mind that they have work to do. Artists can correct that at any point if I'm wrong.

8) Don't be starstruck. As I said above, I used to be the type to geek over big names, but it really is silly. Hell some people seem to think I'm popular, but I don't really do anything. I sometimes get the feeling that if you're socially apt and "talk to big names", people will think you're popular. I dont know, you think this guy is a big name, I think this guy is just a cool dude. w/e, I guess. But at any rate, don't try to be friends with someone because their popular. That's silly.

9) Budget! Hell, do what I do and round everything to whatever value seems 'worst comes to worst'. Actually, that isn't a bad idea for life in general, and it's how I get by. Instead of aiming to budget based off of the literal cost of things, round everything up, add in some "oh shit, this costed more" money along with some emergency money... Just budget everything on the safe side and 9 times our of 10 you'll come out thinking "Wow, this is cool, I didn't spend nearly as much as I thought.". That being said, don't write off going to a con if you can't particularly justify going when you're budgeting everything high, but also don't go to a con when you're dirt fucking poor. That one is important. You've other things to worry about, and your friends will understand.

I think that one is actually pretty important. Oddly enough, budgeting for cons made me learn good methods of budgeting for everything else IRL. You don't -necessarily- have to write everything down (especially with most banks having online banking, along with smartphones), but keeping a loose track of everything as you go and adjusting your spending habits is nice. If you purposefully budget rounding everything high and planning for the worst, you don't have to worry as much from transaction to transaction whether you're on track.

TL:DR for this one, and to drive the point home: Round everything up, plan for the worst. Less stress all around.

10) There is no number 10. I just felt stupid for ending it on 9

Man, I post some really cheesy shit sometime. I look back on some of the things I've posted here and other places and fight the urge to roll my eyes at myself or bury my head in the sand. I've always operated on the fact that making mistakes is the quickest way to learn, and being open and outspoken is a quick way to recognize mistakes :P

But anyway

About three months ago(?) I started school. It had been an interesting and revitalizing time, to say the least. I know I'm not at any top college by any stretch of the word, but having shit to do day in and day out has given a lot more meaning to each day. It's not the fact that I am moving towards something that is the motivator, it is that I am learning and improving myself.
In the beginning I had doubts about what I wanted to major in, and I thought it'd be relatively more clear once I was in classes, but I find myself with many of the same questions. Money vs Passion is what it all boils down to, and trust me, If this were someone else's journal and I were reading it, I'd be like "Passion, dumbass, passion!" (Hell, perhaps that's the answer?). Because I am me, however, and know what I've been through, my worries and fears of the future come into play.

See, computers are pretty sweet machines. Within that whole field I've bounced back between doing Networking or Database, or even Programming (Even though it was the only class I failed in HS? Dare I?). The more overlapping question I have had, however, is whether or not I am interested in it enough to make a career our of it. All the functions of computers are cool.. what they do for people is cool. I do consider myself a tech geek, but I feel like I am much more interested in computers as a tool (granted, you could look at networking/DBAs as using them as tools also).

I suppose the deeper issue is that I don't even know how I look at computers. I know a lot of component stuff having build my own computer, I know basic troubleshooting and programs. I know how networks work and how it applies to every day use, as well as databases. I've done a bit of program and it is pretty awesome, although I am slow with it. Very slow. I have not disliked learning any of these, but I do not feel any particular passion toward them either. It is all pretty grey to me. neutral, even. Music and writing are things of bright and vibrant color, and computers CAN be, but often just aren't. I do not know if it is the way people present or teach it, or how most people use computers in general, but It is often just.. not a very colorful thing to me. It is the reason so many people like Apple to Microsoft, or at least how I have viewed it. Opinions about the companies themselves aside, Apple meshes art with it and it comes out looking colorful. Windows (forget 8 for sake of arguement), is not so colorful.

But I guess a lot of that is bias on my part. I have grew up loving art helplessly. Writing and music are a passion, and I have a great respect for art. I feel like it is what I should be doing with my life, however I do not feel like it will ever get me a decent amount of money. On one hand, I do not want to be poor my whole life. On the other, I do not want to be unhappy. I do not even want to be mediocre. I want to feel like I did something in my life I can be proud of.

I don't know. I'm sure you all are bored to death with this. I just thought that after many years of thinking about this I would have come closer to an answer.

But as I write this, maybe that has been my problem. I am looking for an answer, when there is none. I think I am looking to discover that secretly, there is something I am missing, and that art is a viable way of making a reliable living.

And I'm not saying it can't be, because it can for some people... but therein lays the problem. SOME people. I could land a solid job somewhere as a sound engineer or something like that if I pursued sound/music, and there are solid applications, but the chances or me actually getting an artistically sound job are much, much more slim. I think that's fact. at least that is how everyone tells me.

So I suppose it is just a matter of which one do I value best. In all probability, do I want to have less money and be happier, or more money and less so.

I've decided that perhaps next semester I am going to audit (sit in) a few classes (Creative writing, perhaps a music class if I find one that seems enjoyable/along the lines of what I'm looking at) that I would enjoy passion wise, while taking a few of my computer classes I need to take at the same time.

Hopefully that will give me a better idea...

...but I think that deep down, I already have the answers. I can't run from passion. I just have to remember that I am in school. for free. I might as well BE there for something that could make me money, and do some on the side. At least I'll have the option of not taking up pursuing actual careers in that field if I so decide I want to pursue music or something

aahhhh such a headache.

So I randomly though of this and wondered what people on here might think about it.

You're approached by scientists/government agency and told that they have found a habitable, earth-like planet, and are gathering a [substantial] amount of people to go colonize it. Would you leave earth and everything here to go and colonize this new planet?

Assuming:
-The travel is quick, either through knocking you out for the duration, or it just doesn't take that long
-The trip is a one way-ticket, but you would still have contact to people on earth through internet (If this is a deciding factor, would you do it if you could return once or twice after a certain number of years?
-For sake of scenario, the trip would not fail. You wouldn't die on your way there or die in the process, and the colonization would be successful.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP POSTING RP LOGS AND CALLING IT WRITING. You inly did half the work and didn't even boyher to put it in story form. You're lazy and looking for cheap, quick attention.

Listen. You're english, not japanese. Stop making me read right to left for the simple fact that you like anime. You don't have to say it but we know that's the only reason. It's the only reason you could have, really. Doing so forces me, the reader, into wondering why the hell your comic is so weird, and then realizing "oh, you're just fucking with the reader."

Because let me reiterate.. You're english. Not japanese. Unless you're going for authentic manga art style (even then, i'd argue..), using that style forces an uncomfortable position on all of your readers. Not only that, but it makes me think that YOU think that everyone should just know to read it that way, which is not the case. Not everyone in this fandom watches anime or reads manga, so forcing that assumption on us makes us feel like we're being partially forced into an interest we have no intention persuing.

And i guess if you're fine with all that, then i hope your fine with me respectfully not looking at any of your comics.

Because really, it's like opening a McDonalds and insisting everyone who eats there use chopsticks.

Alright, rant over.

That time of year again~ F5!

Just a curiosity, i suppose.

My current battle right now in my life, aside from the time management skills involved in going back to school, is the battle against worry and stress. I'm the kind of guy who, when faced with a problem, situation, or buying scenario, likes to spend a considerable amount of extra time diagnosing the situation, playing out different end results, and generally trying to go into something with the biggest amount of knowledge I can. The trouble is that when the situations in question involve a negative impact on my life or being, I DO NOT stop thinking about them until it is resolved. and if it is resolved negatively, I think about it far too long after the fact.

My current playing out of such things tends to go as such...
1) Problem occurs
2)Immediate sense of dread/oh shit moment
3)Worry
4) Problem diagnoses while worried
5)Solution mapping, while worried
6)Moments of panic in between 4 and 5
7)Best course of action found, worry if it's the right choice
8)Worry about the ramifications of arriving at this choice
9)Worry about what people will think of the choice, if my friends will hate me and judge me for the choice and if I will eventually be alone and crying in a ditch somewhere
10)Repeat steps 8 and 9 until problem is solved. if problem is solved negatively, move to step 11
11)Play woe-is-me, become Captain Hindsight, worry about all that until an adequate time has passed (depends on severity of problem. months to years.

As you can see, I need to optimize this and cut down on some junk I don't need. In my eyes, the process should go a LOT more like this.
1)Problem occurs
2)Dread/Oh shit moment
3)Worry with a solid "How do I fix/handle this" attitude (makes a difference! this attitude is bred out of positivity!)
4)Problem diagnoses
5)Solution mapping
6)Worry (there will always be worry. the key is separating this from steps 4 and 5)
7)Course of action found, Ask self "Is this the right choice?"
8)If yes, stop giving a fuck and move on to step 9 If no, give more fucks and go back to step 4
9)Move on with your work, if no work then find a friend and go do some fun shit.
10) Solve problem, if problem is solved negatively, move to step 11
11) Who gives a fuck, it's over now. learn and move on

See the difference? The difference is that I need to figure out how to stop worrying and focus on things that actually matter. But that is the issue, isn't it? If it were only that easy, I wouldn't be writing this. I've been successful in this a few times, and it tends to include friends, and simply ignoring my worry and having a good time. Other times I try, but keep secretly worrying about things.

Even now I sit here worried about my job dicking me over when there is nothing I can really do. I have an interview for work study lined up for monday morning regardless of what happens and I should be much more focused on the things that matter, like school and moving. Putting it bluntly, I am obsessed with people liking me, and I'm scared to death of being "That guy". That guy that is irresponsible and calls off work.. that guy that everyone is a little big irritated with. I worry far too much about that. When it comes down to it, I have to start being that guy in this situation. If I lose my job for it, SO BE IT. My priorities lay where they should: getting an education. I'm not naive, I know that I need money to pay my bills and food and such, but I should do what I can, plan as much as I can and then leave it at that. no regrets, no worry.. do it and done. The only difference in the end result is that I'm a happier person and not killing myself over my own stress

There comes a time, sometimes multiple times, in a persons life where they have a defining moment. Life seems a bit more clear and the facts hits you in the face like a sac of bricks.

We're all one-trick-ponies(insert MLP reference here). We can deny it all we want and try to be something we're not, but we all have characteristics, interests, and passions that steer us on a certain path. I've been trying to deal with this a lot in what I go to school for. For someone who has been poor all their life, I've placed perhaps a higher value than normal on getting into a job/career area that pays well and has a lot of demand.

Not that computers don't interest me. They do, but it's mostly the technology and the application of which interest me, not the inner workings. I should have realized well before now who I am. In moving, I found so many old school notebooks and what did I find? Certainly not schoolwork, that's for sure. Nothing but bits of writing, poetry, lyrics... musings on musical worms dug into my brain at the time.

I'm no computer guy, I'm just a tech geek. I love technology and I love computers, but I can't kid myself into thinking I'd be happy sitting at a desk working on that side of things.

But most importantly I am a writer and a lover of music (and production of such, when I get off my ass more). Why do I continue to deny it out of fear of not having a steady income? When it comes down to it, life is short and fragile as hell, and I know that more than most. I'm lucky in that I have backing me, passion, the thirst for knowledge, and a bunch of friends who I love more than they will ever realize.

I'm a one-trick-pony. You're a one-trick-pony. We're ALL one-trick-ponies, and that's ok. In fact it is more than ok, it's BEAUTIFUL.

You know, the most exciting things that has happened to me during my first week in college has been my English class, and getting my hands on an old book from the 70s on Electronic Music production.

I can't deny it anymore.. I just can't. Even if it sends me down a road to being poor my entire life, I will die doing what I love and if I end up inspiring even one person down that road, I will die a happy man.

Author's Note: I'm not sure how I will act on this yet, to tell the truth. My particular situation gives me the ability to go through school, essentially free, for up to 12 semesters, and doing Database would take, at the most, 6. At this point I might as well, but I suspect this, in particular, has changed my focus.

The biggest hurdle in going back to school is not the schoolwork itself so far, it's time management. I'm trying to balance full time school with a ~25 hour work week and moving is proving difficult. In hindsight, I should have tried earlier and harder to get those work study jobs. the ability to work and study/do homework is something that I really need right now. Although in the beginning I wanted to go to school to get a better job and such, I am finding the abundance of knowledge irresistible, even at the community college I am going to, not even some esteemed university. I had all the intention of checking out Music production related stuff while I was there, but finding time to DO everything is proving a ridiculously enormous task...

The fact that, and I'm not playing showoff here, I'm pretty much getting a full ride for up to 12 semesters with the Pell Grant is something I'm finding invaluable. I would not be able to go if not for that grant, and it's amazing.

I also find myself jumping headfirst and way ahead of all the schoolwork I've been assigned. As is stands I am already done with next weeks assignments, even though I've not been assigned them yet. Granted, this is in preparation for moving, but nonetheless..

On the flip side I am highly annoyed at my work for giving me over 30 hours this week, and I expressed my dislike. Even though it's a holiday weekend, I simply can not juggle that amount of work on top everything. all that would translate to working a 80 hour work week, counting outside-school work. Insane. They seemingly shrugged their shoulders at this and said there was nothing they could do, because they're shorthanded. Someone I work with apparently took one of my days off my hands, but I still plan on calling off tomorrow on principle.

I'm not normally a dick. I work hard, and do above what is expected of me. In my first week there they told me it was like I was working there for years, and I've tried to surpass what was expected of me thereof. I don't think it is too much to ask that I be given a bit of a break when I'm back in school. I could just as well find somewhere else to work and leave for the season just like everyone else.

So, me being assertive, huh? That's a strange feeling.

All this wraps up into what I had been reading in English and something I'm finding to be very true in my case (my english teacher, BTW, is fucking hot.). "Learning to Read" by Malcolm X. What I am finding to be absolutely true is that Knowledge really IS power. The more I learn the better I feel about myself, and the better I understand and can handle the things around me. I'm addicted to learning, and it is something that I would have never had if I went to college right out of school. I am beginning to hold knowledge in very high regards, and I am finding myself rather intolerant of people stepping on my ability to do so.

In fact in an ideal scenario I wouldn't have to work. I would absolutely love to just go to school and have all my time to learn new things. Work Study is the next best thing in my eyes, and it's something I am absolutely going to pursue as strongly as I can.

The more and more I go the school, the more and more I care more about gaining knowledge than I do about getting a career, which is extremely weird to me. (Granted, I do care about getting a career!)

Anyway, these are my thoughts ATM.

... Asside from my worries i like my current plan. Current plan is go for DBA, sit in to some music/ audio classes while i'm there, or i money provides actually take the classes (but mainly want it for the knowledge, not the grade or certification.

There's no reason i can't do both, and the way i look at it if i went just for music i'd probably be in a typical out of school low pay job trying to make that work. At least this path i'd hopefully be in a better paying job while trying to make that work.

So to me it's little contest. I still just worry about going to school for something i may not end up enjoying. BUT, i wouldn't exactly enjoy working a minimum pay job while trying to make the music thing work either.

So, today I start packing stuff away to move in a few weeks. I start school next week and need to figure out what I'm doing as far as a job goes. I think I'm going to end up having to transfer over to a store closer to my new place so I can start moving in and such.

I'm sure the excitement of being moved out will set in when I do it, but so far the excitement of it being on the horizon is gone. I'm nervous. Very nervous. Some of that comes from the thought of living on my own and dealing with things on my own terms, but a lot of that is nervousness about school. I fear I'm going to fail and/or I fear that I am not going for the right reasons.

Over the years, it's been a giant tug of war game with me in the middle, with one side saying "music isn't a viable thing to pursue, go the safe route and do music on the side." and the other side saying "pursue your passion."

I'm a realist with a hint of optimism. I know that money isn't everything but I also know that living on my own, solidly, with a decent flow of money is something I need to DO things that make me happy. On the other hand, I do not want to live my whole life repressing my passion and doing something that gets me money for the simple sake of getting money. I like computers, don't get me wrong, but I feel like I am telling myself that I would like a career in it more simply to be more ok with the idea of doing it for a living.

Growing up poor, I was told that art was good as a hobby, but there's no way you can make a living off of it, or rather it is extremely rare. Likewise, growing up poor has no doubt stressed a higher importance of money on me than most people. You need money for everything, and without it, you'll probably die sooner, to put it in harsh terms.

I honestly and truly don't know. I've been struggling with this for years and am still struggling with it, and I don't think there is any particular right answer. It just aggrivates me to no end. So many other things have an answer... I can research it and plan and work hard... but the one thing I can't is the one thing that matters.

It's better than doing nothing I suppose.

[NOTE: This is a little thing I started doing on my LJ, but am bringing over here. Every once and a while something will burrow in my brain about life and such, and this is my little slice-of-life, top of my head way of expressing these things. Enjoy.]

Aesthetic is something that I'd like to say most people put on the backburner in life. They can do without things looking good if they just work right, right? I'm always one to beg to differ. If anything Aesthetic is the one of the things in life most worth living for. Before I go on, however, I'd like to specify that there's a big difference between being Aesthetically minded and being one of those people who blows their money away on pointless things that look good.

No.. Aesthetic is MUCH more about appreciating the things around you, I would argue, than it is about surrounding yourself with things that look good. I'm the kinda guy who likes to partake in the flavors of the seasons and not think twice about them. Hot cocoa or cider on a cold winter day, pumpkin spice and pumpkin beers in the fall... I'm also the kind of person who, though not entirely, likes tunes to match such seasons and time of day even. A little downtempo groove in the morning, upbeat in the afternoon and ambient relaxation at night.. and nothing beats good Emancipator on a rainy day (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQpvCiYVvOc) or Chicane on a beaming hot day at the beach (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5yF54YIYbo) or another one for a nice fall day.. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbnujaAbD2A)

The amazing thing is, and I implore you to try it, that I would say most people would be able to listen to those three songs and be able to understand the association between it and the seasons. Aesthetic. It's full of memories, tradition, and embedded in who we are as human beings. You understand, instinctually, not just in the afforementioned seasonal flavors, but in the subtle beats and ambience in music. It is something that is absolutely amazing to me and it's something that I will ALWAYS enjoy.

So this one is short, but full of truth, I think. To be able to appreciate these things gives a whole flavor on life that is really amazing.

It's been a while. too long, really. It's clocking in at almost 100 degrees here and humidity to make you swim, but that mean PERFECT mood for some chilled out tunes.



Ibiza Trance is a sort of sub-genre of Trance I can't hate. It's got groove that is perfect for hot and beach weather. Hence, you know, Ibiza. While Trance has some really unnecessary sub-genre, Ibiza is one I can't really fault.



How can I not throw Chicane in here? If there's any song that is the definition of summer chill it's this. Makes me want to sprawl out, feel the sun wash over me, and listen to the waves crash <3



Michael Cassette is awesome.

Pros
-People, new and old friends, and meeting new ones.
-Unfortunatly pretty much it lol

Cons
-WAY crowded and huge. Finding a room was annoyingly difficult and it ended up being in the omni, which was inconvenient.
-Rooming situation was awkward, but I got over it
-Security was ridiculously stupid, but that isn't a surprise. The dorsai can be extremely dense dicks, combined with this year's "lets put one checking badges in every hallway" idea. I heard rumors about that but IDK.

Overall, and despite how it looks, pros always trump the cons. where else am I going to see this many people I know from all over? That being said, something has got to give. Rooms sold out within an hour of them opening to the point where I was lucky to even FIND a room despite me living only two hours away lol. It feels ridiculously to have something so close be so hard to go to. They're going to have to either cap attendance or find more rooms, TBH.

Checking peoples badges down every hallway is pretty ridiculous. If you guys had a good reason than fine, if not then fuck you. you make me want to ghost your con more.

Friends are always fun and that always outweighs the bad TBH, but that doesn't mean I like the con itself. It's, in the past few years, tipped into the 'pain in my ass' area or things

BUT

Thank you to all I hung out with and everyone I met (some unexpected faces too!). It was a joy, even though it felt half as long as a con normally is.

I'm doubtfully seeing if I can go to MFF, so if you know anyone with room space there, let me know. I seriously doubt I'll be going though, which is aggravating since this will be my only chance to meet some people.

You know where to find me 83

If you don't then look under [S] on the bulletin board, my name (Solstice) should be there, along with contact info

God

I want them ALL

AT THE SAME TIME

Grow big
Swell tight
Pop

Nope, just wasted your time

A note: this is my opinion, not fact. Also this is stream of conciousness.

An uncomfortable amount of being seem to think that because i like inflation, i should by proxy enjoy, in RL terms, inflatable suits, leather/latex suits, and often bordering into gear fetishism and stuff. This is awkward due to the fact that it is the exact opposite. I have a fear of some of this stuff. So here is a stream of conciousness guide to what i find creepy and not creepy, no matter how creepy it may be

Creepy
-Zentai suits. Creepy.
-those leather dog masks i keep unfortunatly seeing at conventions.
-anything that is a furry shaped mask that uses human eyes. It never looks good and is always creepy to me.
-inflatable suits with awkwardly creepy heads. AKA 99% of them. I'd be willing to except something of a higher "fursuit like" quality. I've never seen anything like that though. Generally the higher the quality the less likely it is to creep me out.

Slightly creepy
-fursuit head on any of the above. Fursuit head is better than a mask, but the lack of textural consistancy bugs me.

Not Creepy
-any of the above without a mask. Still not into it, but it's not creepy at least.
-infatable fursuits. Hypocracy time. I love them, even so in public. You're adorable and i want to make you bigger. I want one of these suits, and want to even do it at a con.


So yeah, oddly enough ive gotten enough people insisting that i'm "should be" into this and that i "seem like the person" who should be that i feel the need to state this out publically.

No, i'm not, no i don't, and in fact I am irrationally frightened of most of it. Especially zentai suits. Fuck.

Fuck.

Season 2 finale spoilers, BTW.