I want to apologize most sincerely for having vanished on all of you. I have given a few hints of what's happened but... In many ways, I have felt like I was in survival mode. So I'm going to give you a brief timeline of what has happened over the last several years. This is approximate, and really should just give a general order of events more than any specifics.

Winter 2019-2020: Alexis, who I've been living with, suffers a back injury. For some time, she's unable to get out of bed. She is eventually able to recover enough to walk and drive, but not much more. She starts to do Doordash.

Spring 2020: COVID starts. Alexis’s back issues worsen and she begins using alcohol as a painkiller.

Autumn 2020: Car breaks down. Front wheel disconnects while on the highway.

Summer 2021: Car breaks down again. Mother (whose name the car is in) Forbids Alexis to use it. Alexis also becomes more anxious around driving and in general.

Winter 2021-2022: Alexis gets work at UPS store.

Spring 2022: Alexis is hospitalized for mental health concerns. She is diagnosed with BPD, and prescribed focus pills before being released.

Summer 2022: Bathtub tiles fall off, exposing large amounts of mold. I am put on new medication. Alexis’s psych nurse refuses to continue treatment as prescribed and she is rehospitalized. The new hospital is horribly mismanaged to the point that they are unable to accurately explain what exactly the hospital’s NAME is, and has only one practicing psychiatrist who is semi-retired and tries to solve most problems by threatening patients with involuntary commitment. Following this, Alexis's alcoholism worsens, and she begins to lash out verbally. While she'd always had occasional issues with it, it becomes a serious enough problem that it occupies much of my mental energy.

Autumn 2022: Mom becomes severely ill. She is sent to the emergency room twice, at one point suffers a fever of 104 for multiple days, and at another gets extremely close to death. This results in both trauma and brain damage that caused her to become less stable.

Winter 2022-2023: Mom begins taking Vitamin D supplements, and her already unstable behavior becomes more erratic due to taking dangerous levels.

Spring 2023: Mom decides suddenly that it's time to renovate the condo and Alexis will have to move back to Mexico by the summer. This is difficult due to Alexis's difficult relationship with her mother, but eventually it is negotiated.

Summer 2023: Alexis moves out, with promise that she will move back in when renovations are complete. Condo renovations begin. I move back in with Mom, who is suffering severe mood swings. Eventually sister moves in to help ‘take care’ of me so Mom can go on her yearly vacation. As sister and I talk we realize that

1) Mom was never really okay even before dad died, and (after her talking about it with her fiance who comes from a family of doctors) her behavior could be categorized as abusive.

2) Sister was seriously underestimating just how badly Mom had been treating me, largely due to only hearing Mom’s side of the story, which was... Well, mom thought it was true, but it was frankly incredibly misleading.

3) Sister and I both have developed harmful coping mechanisms and anxiety disorders. Most relevant is our communication styles. Mom’s constant changing of standards and meanings lead me to pay extreme attention in hopes of figuring out what was ‘really’ being said. Sister, meanwhile, has come to expect the specifics of any conversation to be irrelevant, as mom only ever remembers the general thrust of what was said. This is particularly true when talking about plans.

Sister decides to take over helping me instead of Mom. She also decides that Alexis won't be moving back in. Because of Point 3 above, neither Alexis nor I actually know that this decision has been made until a week before she was supposed to move back in.

Autumn 2023: I move back into my condo. Alexis is forced to stay in a local hostel while trying to figure out a place to stay, and trying to get to doctor's appointments that have been scheduled for over a year. I lose my mailbox key, and am unable to receive mail for several months. I am told that the key is about to be replaced.

Winter 2023-2024: Alexis returns to Mexico but her mother’s treatment of her becomes untenable. Alexis moves back in for some time before moving in with a friend across the state. I am put back on my previous medication regimen.

Due to being unable to access the mailbox, my food benefits are cut off as I don't receive notification that I need to renew. Then my bank cancels my debit card due to switching providers, making getting food harder.

Spring 2024: Alexis splits time between here and the Western part of the state, as she works on finishing up doctor's appointments. I am finally able to receive mail again when we contact someone from the condo management firm.

Summer 2024: Sister gets married. I am finally able to breathe.

I am sorry for how much all of this has effected the rest of you. I am really only now able to breathe and take stock of how things have gone.