3:00 am
I don’t know what it was about 3:00 am, but when his body would shift itself against mine in his sleep, it awoke a flame that was silently waiting under the surface, like hot coals that only needed air to start a blaze. I’d feel his hands travel over me as my eyes were still clouded with sleep. A sweet tenderness mixed with need in his fingertips.
I remember the first time.
He held me close and matched my body’s every movement. His body and height the perfect match for my own, covering my skin inch by inch, and a few extending, making me wake from the slumber of his arms. I’ve never felt magnetism like this before. Not only did I want to touch every part of him, I needed to Be part of him.
In a moment of mad passion as his lips left mine for a moment of cool air between our heat, the words slipped out.
“Make love to me”
It was a question, and terrifying. I was thankful for the dark because he couldn’t see the fear in my eyes. My heart stopped when I realized that it was going to happen. I was going to have sex and he was preparing to do it. He carefully placed the condom on and when the size of him reached my entrance I stopped breathing.
The whole length went in and I gasped inaudibly, my eyes pulled open by pain and a depth I didn’t know existed inside of me. Tears welled and slowly slid down to my hair as I lay in the bed trying to adjust. Then he moved. God, he moved, and slid in and back out and there was no more thinking. Just the feeling of my fingertips pressed into his shoulders as my teeth grazed his chest, silencing screams that he trusted out of me. I gave myself over to him that night; laid my heart into his chest and forgot to ask for his.
Every night thereafter, all he had to do was move. Slide his powerful thighs up in between my legs and rub against me and I was finished. 3:00am. Clockwork. Natural. Perfect.
I still feel the warmth of his body holding me as I sleep, and find the sweetest dreams in his memory. Till 3:00am where my mind wanders and the cold sweat of loneliness grasps me in the dead of night. Stop loving this person who completed you. 3:00 o’clock-a reminder that I’m alone.