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Joy - they/them 💛🤍💜🖤 | Registered: January 31, 2017 08:50:51 PM
I’m running a fundraiser for my medical transition! Please consider donating if you can.
Hi! I'm Joy, but here I'm currently going by the pen name Amuziĝi (pronounced "a-mu-zi-d͡ʒi"/"a moo zee jee"). I'm non-binary, agender, transneutral, neutrois. Begrudgingly attached to another word for my gender group starting with “N”.
What I’m mostly up to here is writing lewd stories, albeit so far at a glacial pace. Expect themes of gender, queer visibility - oh, and maybe just a bit of really raw writing about my self-discovery as a non-binary trans person, starting with my coming to terms with my sense of bottom dysphoria/euphoria and pursuing gender-affirming surgery ("nerve-preserving nullification"). My writing serves in part to trace my own slow journey of finding my identity, but my hope as well is that by articulating the process of my self-discovery I’ll be able to help others like me with the process of theirs. Expect some applied sex-positivity along the way too.
Ours is a world marked by the sound of sheer silence - I’m so tired, but let me yet try my hardest to push against it.
Hope you like what I've got - and see my favourites for other works that are along similar lines! There’s also a lot of art which I personally find really affirming there, including a few stories and comics that I can highly recommend on the grounds of how much I’ve picked up from them myself.
One more thing: Thank you to everyone who watches this page, favourites one of my submissions, or shares a comment.
Hi! I'm Joy, but here I'm currently going by the pen name Amuziĝi (pronounced "a-mu-zi-d͡ʒi"/"a moo zee jee"). I'm non-binary, agender, transneutral, neutrois. Begrudgingly attached to another word for my gender group starting with “N”.
What I’m mostly up to here is writing lewd stories, albeit so far at a glacial pace. Expect themes of gender, queer visibility - oh, and maybe just a bit of really raw writing about my self-discovery as a non-binary trans person, starting with my coming to terms with my sense of bottom dysphoria/euphoria and pursuing gender-affirming surgery ("nerve-preserving nullification"). My writing serves in part to trace my own slow journey of finding my identity, but my hope as well is that by articulating the process of my self-discovery I’ll be able to help others like me with the process of theirs. Expect some applied sex-positivity along the way too.
Ours is a world marked by the sound of sheer silence - I’m so tired, but let me yet try my hardest to push against it.
Hope you like what I've got - and see my favourites for other works that are along similar lines! There’s also a lot of art which I personally find really affirming there, including a few stories and comics that I can highly recommend on the grounds of how much I’ve picked up from them myself.
One more thing: Thank you to everyone who watches this page, favourites one of my submissions, or shares a comment.
Stats
Comments Earned: 310
Comments Made: 721
Journals: 18
Comments Made: 721
Journals: 18
Featured Journal
I've posted the fundraiser for my medical transition:
a year ago
https://ko-fi.com/joyeuse
Please consider donating if you can!
(Note that I’ve also posted the link to my fundraiser on BlueSky and Fedi. Resharing my fundraiser on either platform would be appreciated just as well:
https://bsky.app/profile/swordofcha...../3laeewlefm52l / https://critter.cafe/@swordofcharle.....83051313500406 )
(To do: "MSAC application 1754 has been stonewalled - what now?" Only let me try not to be too much of a doomer about it. My plan goes back to seeking healthcare access overseas, and this fundraiser is essential to my being able to do that.)
My largely untreated gender dysphoria is debilitating - it is a drain on my life, and that drain on my life is a drain on my ability to seek treatment. Thank you so much to everyone who shares my fundraiser as well as to everyone who donates. What you're doing for me can't be overstated.
The Australian healthcare system presently expects gender-affirming treatments to be paid-for from out-of-pocket, though this may change later in this year with the (hopeful) passage of MSAC application 1754 (addendum: lol. lmao.). I've set my target amount ($18,000) based on estimates for surgeries similar to mine shared by other trans people in Australia and the USA. Note that an exact quote for my surgery fees will likely not be available to me until very close to the surgery itself, and that organising surgery is in itself a painstakingly long process which cannot begin until I am at least moderately confident I have the funds for my surgery, but reaching my target amount will hopefully mean being able to cover the expenses of my surgery itself as well as expenses to do with hospital insurance and the letter-writing process.
Depending on the extent of the coverage granted by my Mental Health Treatment Plan, a portion of the proceeds from this fundraiser may go toward assessment and treatment for generalised anxiety disorder, major depressive disorder and depersonalisation-derealization disorder. One way or another, those conditions (which in all likelihood are long-term knock-on effects of my experience of gender dysphoria) have got to be tackled too. Fingers crossed that'll even make for a two-for-one deal leading into the letter-writing process.
As it stands, I can't help but keep thinking to myself: "It's paralysing, vertigo-inducing to contemplate how I'm going to pay for any of my healthcare." "What I need is too much for anyone in this system to give." "No matter how I try to reach out, I'm invisible in the pain I've had all my life." "There's going to be sharp-pointed distress between my legs until I'm gone." Please help me.
I'll finally note here:
A long-term plan in my transition has been to create what will eventually be a comprehensive write-up on pursuing, receiving and recovering from my target genital reconstruction surgery ('nerve-preserving nullification'), with additional perspectives to be sought from my friends who have pursued and received the same kind of surgery themselves.
They say that you become the person who would have saved you, and I won't deny that a significant, motivating goal for me, as a person, is to create the resource which would have given me hope during the long period of my life in which I was convinced that I was alone; that nobody would ever understand why 'being male' (being in the sex binary at all) would make me feel like an alien passenger in my own body.
Please consider donating if you can!
(Note that I’ve also posted the link to my fundraiser on BlueSky and Fedi. Resharing my fundraiser on either platform would be appreciated just as well:
https://bsky.app/profile/swordofcha...../3laeewlefm52l / https://critter.cafe/@swordofcharle.....83051313500406 )
(To do: "MSAC application 1754 has been stonewalled - what now?" Only let me try not to be too much of a doomer about it. My plan goes back to seeking healthcare access overseas, and this fundraiser is essential to my being able to do that.)
My largely untreated gender dysphoria is debilitating - it is a drain on my life, and that drain on my life is a drain on my ability to seek treatment. Thank you so much to everyone who shares my fundraiser as well as to everyone who donates. What you're doing for me can't be overstated.
The Australian healthcare system presently expects gender-affirming treatments to be paid-for from out-of-pocket, though this may change later in this year with the (hopeful) passage of MSAC application 1754 (addendum: lol. lmao.). I've set my target amount ($18,000) based on estimates for surgeries similar to mine shared by other trans people in Australia and the USA. Note that an exact quote for my surgery fees will likely not be available to me until very close to the surgery itself, and that organising surgery is in itself a painstakingly long process which cannot begin until I am at least moderately confident I have the funds for my surgery, but reaching my target amount will hopefully mean being able to cover the expenses of my surgery itself as well as expenses to do with hospital insurance and the letter-writing process.
Depending on the extent of the coverage granted by my Mental Health Treatment Plan, a portion of the proceeds from this fundraiser may go toward assessment and treatment for generalised anxiety disorder, major depressive disorder and depersonalisation-derealization disorder. One way or another, those conditions (which in all likelihood are long-term knock-on effects of my experience of gender dysphoria) have got to be tackled too. Fingers crossed that'll even make for a two-for-one deal leading into the letter-writing process.
As it stands, I can't help but keep thinking to myself: "It's paralysing, vertigo-inducing to contemplate how I'm going to pay for any of my healthcare." "What I need is too much for anyone in this system to give." "No matter how I try to reach out, I'm invisible in the pain I've had all my life." "There's going to be sharp-pointed distress between my legs until I'm gone." Please help me.
I'll finally note here:
A long-term plan in my transition has been to create what will eventually be a comprehensive write-up on pursuing, receiving and recovering from my target genital reconstruction surgery ('nerve-preserving nullification'), with additional perspectives to be sought from my friends who have pursued and received the same kind of surgery themselves.
They say that you become the person who would have saved you, and I won't deny that a significant, motivating goal for me, as a person, is to create the resource which would have given me hope during the long period of my life in which I was convinced that I was alone; that nobody would ever understand why 'being male' (being in the sex binary at all) would make me feel like an alien passenger in my own body.
User Profile
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chimera waldgeist - strange aeon - ethical feline
Favorite Music
'We Shall All Be Healed' by The Mountain Goats, 'First Utterance' by Comus, 'Divers' by Joanna Newsom, 'Herdbound' by Bit Depth
Favorite TV Shows & Movies
Druk, Tampopo, Lola Rennt, Mystery Train, Nokto de la Galaksia Fervojo
Favorite Games
Yoko Taro’s series, Supreme Commander (not that I'm any good at it), the Marathon trilogy, myhouse.wad
Favorite Site
the site from The Invention of Morel
Favorite Foods & Drinks
jasmine tea with dumplings covered in chili oil (alternatively: big soda cups' worth of coffee)
Contact Information
Sammy Fox -- Since 2004
~sammyfox
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