Dear  Kishithewriter,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm in love with your cat. I think I realized it when we skinny dipped in the bathtub, in your apartment and I saw you sit on my father. I'm sure you're high enough to understand that I get turned on only by the garbage man. I'm returning your love letters to you but keeping your virginity as a memory. You should also know that I love your sweet, sweet ass and you should get that embarrassing rash check out..

Warm tingly sensations,

~BiegeleBlu
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