Know um not that active here other than lurking, life has been crazy for a long time and now...feel I hit rock bottom. Today...my mother passed. Pretty much thr last member of my family sept for her one cousin who is great...and i have a hand full of cousins who I disowned as they are nasty people. Nothing will really change here...I just...don't feel right, like this isn't real. Spend all day crying and nothing else comes out. Besides one close friend, I've not told anyone but my mother I was part of the furry fandom and she didn't care... I'd give up everything to have her back but I know that isn't going to happen.

I know alot of people in the past have put up journals like this for attention and what not. I honestly don't care nore want it. I just don't know really what to do, house doesn't feel right being alone, and no I'm not about to off myself or start drinking. Im...just venting I guess and I'm scared to be alone..