Well, since I cant really upload any of my old art on here or assume any of my former self, Im just here again I guess. Those that know me know who I am instantly, because im never really gone for more than a day at most
Ive contemplated where I was struggling and going wrong, and to me I think what was important to remember was the world, and people, beyond myself and my own affairs.

I also acted horribly to a woman I cared for, and didnt have the courage to admit I had feelings for her in hopeless admiration of everything she is in contrast, even despite how difficult Ive been. I hardly blame her for brushing me aside either considering. If I cant mend our relationship Id at least like to be friends. I took her attention for granted, and acted without civility

I regularly forget all the effort people make for my sake. I dont know why but for the fact Im always getting muddled and losing touch with the external. Im the sort to hide from things because it's not like having to put your whole self at risk, but in living as such there's never any trust established between myself and other people. In not connecting with anyone much of it feels impersonal, and it's reduced to me and them as opposed to us

Im losing so much letting things go to pot, and hopefully people will see that despite these limitations i fight against them, and continue trying, because even if people are there for me a man has to learn to stand on his own legs.

I think being harsh on myself in an effort to have some sort of disciplin when I have none, and failure, and carrying so much is taking it's toll, and I need to leave some of it and focus on living again, and allowing myself to be happy and have friends

I just have trouble trusting myself. Im almost struggling to adopt humility because I have things so good.

Im tired of not having people in my life, and want to be an active member in this community