I read a story recently where this guy kept a journal to work through some issues and I thought to my self, 'hey, might as well.' So here we are.

I don't know where to start. A lot's happened in the last 3 years. Kinda wish nothing happened at this point but here we are. I got a new job! That's fun. People I work with are super nice, we all have a Discord chat together. Everyone pulls their weight, nobody slacks. Great teamwork, I love to see it. I really wanna impress these guys. One of them asked me if I was a furry in front of everyone because of my profile picture (It's a pic of Paulo from BCB, I'll get to that later). I kinda lied but to be fair I was caught on the spot. They'll find out soon enough ;). For now, I want to promote the 3D work I do. I think I'll do a 'Speed 3D Conversion' on the Bob's Burgers Movie poster and send it to the chat.

I saw The Bob's Burgers Movie. Never seen the show, but I know the characters and the basic premise. It was just nice to see a traditionally animated movie in theaters again. Well, one made in the west, I know a lot of anime movies have come out but it's not my thing :/. Bob's Burgers reminded me a lot of The Simpsons Movie. Both have a lot of charm, but Bob's Burgers was on a much smaller scale. I'm slowly falling in love with the opening number (yeah, it's a musical) called Sunny Side Up Summer. Honestly worth it to just kill some time and support 2D animation. Did you know this is the first 2D animated movie produced by Disney since 2011's Winnie the Pooh? And the last 2D animated movie I saw in theaters was Teen Titans Go! To The Movies. That was nice too. Never saw that show, either. Go check out Bob's Burgers. Animation looked nice. Beats that new Rescue Rangers movie.

Ahhhh, BCB, the 'Bittersweet Candy Bowl', my latest cope/ obsession. Short and sweet, it's about the most frustrating group of high school cats that ever existed. Warning, don't read unless you want it to grab you by the feels and never let go. Cats falling in love and then not being honest with each other. I've made a whole YouTube channel around it, and it does pretty decent numbers. We're almost to 60 subs!

I still do 3D stuff. Did a 3D video at this radical air and space museum known as the Udvar Hazy Center. It came out really well! I've also dabbled in converting things to 3D, though it's a tedious process, and my skill set on that is limited. I did a few BCB panels in 3D, and they look incredible. 3D is on the rise again with Avatar: The Way Of Water coming out, Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness even got an IMAX 3D release (which I saw) and it was awesome! Glad to see the industry rediscovering its love of 3D again.

Speaking of love. Yeah. Sucks. As my old roommate HotDog would always say, sucks to suck. I hate finding out how right that phrase is. Still feels like there's a void inside of me, and it's made it difficult to connect with other people, even more so than it was before. I'm just a nervous mess all the time, really awkward. Maybe I can learn to be better about it, I dunno. Sucks to suck. I just want to feel okay again. It's been a long time since I felt okay. People said things would get better, but has it? Maybe? I don't know. Still hurts. Coming up on a year later and it feels like it all happened yesterday for me. Feels like I'm climbing up a dirt pile but I keep slipping in the mud. I'm stuck between wanting to love again, and then getting scared to love again. Christ, that's a pickle, isn't it?

But I'm still around. I made it this far. Still a ways to go. Here's a to-do list.
- Car needs door handle fixed.
- Windshield has tiny dent in it.
- Tooth looks like it's forming a hole.
- Eye sight needs a checkup, the glasses I just got last year are kind of starting to get blurry.
- Don't have health insurance.
- Still feeling alone and torn apart

Not the best :/ BUT, here's something to counter that:
- I have a job I don't hate.
- I have a place to live
- Rent is dirt cheap
- I have food to eat
- I have a decent amount of money saved up
- I seemingly have my health (physical health that is, mental has gone down the drain)
- Got some friends

I have this fear that saying any of this will cause ole Murphy to come knocking and say it's time to collect his due. I suppose that's all for now. It's a beautiful day out, and I got work today. Not so bad, I got friends there. Thanks for reading. I'll have another journal up... sometime soon.