I've always considered my participation in the fandom, as it has been up to this point, a kind of art project and now that art project has reached its inevitable end. I'm still going to be around, I'll still be participating in some capacity, but whatever that is it's going to be very different from what I've been doing so far. I'm sorry if this is a disappointment, but this is something I feel like I have to do. In many ways, I feel like it's something that happened on its own a few years ago, and it just took me this long to figure it out.

Please respect my decision and refrain from contacting me to ask for art that used to be up in my gallery. The majority of it was there for many, many years and I feel like everybody had a more-than-ample chance to grab anything they might have wanted.

So during this whole project I learned a few things, and I just wanted to share them with everybody. Here's my advice, based on the experiences I have had in the fandom so far. Your individual mileage may vary:

1) Whatever means you use to make friends is going to become the means by which you keep those friends. It seemed to me once upon a time that adult art would be a great way to meet interesting people, but in practice all it really got me were IM contacts who would periodically pop in and ask me for freebies, and then leave. There's nothing wrong with that kind of behaviour in and of itself, we're all here for different reasons and theirs are just as valid as mine. But I did a lot of things I came to regret in the name of making friends, and ultimately it never happened for me. I spent ten years here and I would have to say that they were unreservedly the loneliest, least artistically fulfilling years of my life so far. My advice to you is this: be true to yourself, be open, don't compromise, and just keep your eye out for people with whom you have something in common.

2) When it stops being fun, it's time to stop. I think the fandom stopped being fun for me in about 2008, but I hung in there ever after because I didn't want to be thought of as a party pooper. I was afraid to express my real feelings because I didn't want to be accused of making FA drama or playing the part of the tempermental artiste. I kept going back to the last place I remembered being happy, trying to find that spark again. I know everybody goes through a slump sometime, but honestly I should have quit after a year or two. So my advice to you is just to be honest with yourself, hang in for as long as you feel like is still good for you, but be able to recognize when you're beating a dead horse.

3) Lastly, I have two pieces of advice for younger artists: don't wall yourself off inside the fandom, and don't expect to make money drawing porn. For one, there's a whole big world out there of art and influences and friendships- from time to time remember to get outside the fandom and experience the wider world. You'll be a better artist for it. Secondly, as someone who's tried to sell art to pay bills, I want to warn you away from the whole endeavor. While making a living as an artist is an achievable goal for a very small minority (who are not you), for the vast majority of people it's a very unstable work environment with very low pay compared to the hours you put in. Unless you're married to or living with someone who has a stable job, or maybe you're being supported by family, you're never going to make enough to pay bills, make necessary purchases, pay off debts, or build any kind of savings. Drawing for others can also be very demanding, and you'll have to spend a lot of time drawing things you find distasteful or uninteresting, even when you're tired, sick, or unmotivated. If you're drawing for the fun and adventure, you need to keep your focus there. And if you're drawing for the huge piles of cash... well I've never actually met anyone who was.

Okay, that's enough for me. I just want to apologize one more time for being a buzzkill, but I feel like this is something I have to do. Good luck, and remember that the fandom is still a wonderful place. I love all of you.