i dont usually express myself on here in any meaningful capacity bc i dont care to but this is my stupid furry art page so ill use it to whine once every ten years i guess . i dont remember the last time i felt THIS bad about my art . like i spent a lot of my early 20s feeling like shit about it, but i also spent my early 20s unemployed, so i didnt really have anything else to do BESIDES sit and draw , regardless of how i felt about my art . but now ive got a job and even though its maybe only 30-40 hours out of my week, its like i get home and i want to do literally anything besides draw . and then even when i DO draw, my adhd kicks in and im picking up and putting my tablet down every five minutes meanwhile my attention scatters btwn like six different things which all require less effort than drawing so of course thats what the brain ends up wanting to spend the time on .

so the adhd makes it hard . and then especially lately i just cant stop comparing myself to my peers which i know is a big no-no but as the saying goes . i Also dont want me to be doing what im doing . people who i love and whose art i adore but who out of no where started to feel, like. threatening to me, bc i feel like i cant stack up to them

im not trying to compete with anybody!! i dont know why i feel like this .

also ive had my ipad for like a year now and i still hate drawing on it but its Right There as opposed to my desktop which i have to get up and go over to and then wrestle with to get it up and running so i can draw

i honestly think i could be fine with everything i hate about my art IF i was just faster at making it . but thats been basically impossible for me forever, i just take too long to make anything. sigh :{