I pondered a while on how to even say this. It's far from the type of thing brought up without preamble or some attempt at reconciliation. In the end I decided that words can only bend so far in a case like this and blunt is better for some form of understanding. Even then it took a while to try and conjure up some adequate framing for it under a nagging pretense I owe my audience something, despite all that's happened to me as of late. And that's just it, All that's happened. For those not in the know just look at the previous journal entry and my decision might not come off as selfish. After every terrible thing that rocked me down to the pit I could barely summon any will or want to write anymore and the decision just seemed natural. I would take the rest of the year off, and come the end of it see how I felt on continuing, or if I even held a will to live anymore.

It's only recently I've started climb out of the waves of depression and felt something approaching happiness or satisfaction with life. It all just seemed too tiresome, and I wanted for some easy way to slide out as for a while it just seemed every day was greeted by a death of self as I wandered from task to task with no input or thought. Now almost a year on, I'm not happy, but I can summon the energy to actually care about anything again. I thought perhaps the break would have me forgetting about my work but absence has pulled me back towards it. I'm again finding an interest in continuing on, and ideas and drive that I actually feel able to act on. I still have to work back into the swing of things, but for once I look at the end of the page where I left off and don't feel like I have no answers to continue. My return to writing will be slow, I still have the better half of a chapter to gradually coalesce speaking in terms of NoF, and I have some ideas for side stories I'll need to look over my old notes to refine. I haven't touched those files for the better part of the year.

>Will you have anything before the end of 2021?
No. I want to focus first on restarting progress on Firefall before inspiration grows cold, and the work in progress I left off on only covered the first quarter of the chapter, circumstance being what it is I'm not sure when I'll have it ready.

>What about art commissions?
Presently I have no ideas, perhaps once I get back into the swing of things and feel like it might be worthwhile I'll think of something.

>How are you holding up?
Better. Not good, but better. I can at least make myself productive through the day without falling into autopilot or rotting in bed.

>Any updates on your monetization platforms?
Nope, still just a Ko-fi. Don't see the point in anything more.

>Pastebin is fucked
I noticed, far as I can tell /hmofa/ activity has migrated towards Sofurry, and I already have a presence there. I haven't looked at the threads since going on break and I pay zero attention to twitter. I haven't seen any reason whatsoever to start looking at that slop of dimwit nuspeak either.

>What now?
I don't know. I guess I'll just continue on wallowing in minor niche fame regardless of how much effort or love I put into my work.