I'm sorry I haven't been updating my art lately; I'm gonna level with you. Mentally for the last decade I haven't been in a healthy place; artistically, mentally, just in general.

I've spent a lot of my working life in warehouses and it has made me miserable, cynical, and bitter. Imagine you live your life sacrificing everything to try and be good at art and you finally get it. You finally get good enough at art to get hired in the game industry; you finally escape that god forsaken warehouse.

Now you're in the industry, you just barely managed to squeak in as it's all going to shit. You signed up to make art but all your bosses want you to do is churn out and fix AI slop. I didn't last long in the game industry if you couldn't tell by now. Honestly looking back on it I would call myself delusional to ever think I can, but really it just comes down to a difference of what the game industry wants and what makes good art.

Even before AI shat all over the artistic world, the game industry wasn't heading in a good place, the games I've wanted to make; Ratchet and Clank, Okami, Wind Waker, the stylistically beautiful games? Those don't sell any more. And even when they do Microsoft will shut down your company anyways like with Hi Fi Rush.

Sony and Microsoft are instead focused on remastering the Last of Us for the four hundredth time. Did I ever tell you how much I hate realistic graphics? Like how much I actually fucking hate realistic graphics? Like what a waste of time, effort, and energy they are? Game graphics have plateaued in the looks department, but still the suicidal rush for the most photo real graphics imaginable. At some point you just got to step outside right?

I got my dream job and it killed my love of art. Then I got sacked anyways in the layoffs.

So here I am like Sisyphus, once again back at the warehouse. Endlessly pushing the boulder up the amazon hill.

Am I in hell? Is this all life is? Grinding myself down at a job I hate until I hopefully scrounge enough together to enjoy what's left of my life when I'm too old, broken, and miserable to enjoy anything?

I don't know if I'm going to upload again, but you're all used to me disappearing for months on end; so I'm sure you'll be fine.

I don't have the most healthy relationship with furry art either, but that's a whole other can of worms; all you need to know is I did the functional equivalent of taking my fetish, dragging it behind the chemical shed; and beating it to death with a brick. I haven't completely decoupled my love of furry art from this fetish, so I don't exactly know if it's the most mentally healthy thing for me to make art for this community.

I might upload more in the future, but I'm just not in a mentally healthy place right now.

I'm sorry.