Hey there, guess what? Tis the season to uh...keep my phone bill paid, I guess.

...AND YOU CAN HELP!

I know everyone's busy with holiday stuff this month, and we just got out of a REALLY tight month or so for folks, so to make things easier, I'm having a DECEMBER DISCOUNT SALE until the 20th! Get you, OR someone you love, a nice gift of words written by a three-eyed cosmic creature!

Until the 20th, all Story Commissions proposed and locked in before that time are at only $0.025 cents a word, instead of my normal $0.03!

That means, if you use this comparison sheet for before and after -
1k Words: $30 - $25
2k Words $60 - $50
3k Words $90 - $75
4k Words $120 - $100 (!!!)

Just some ground rules:
- To keep things fair (and ensure I can get to any and all I take, PLEASE no asking for comms over 4k!)
- Normal pay model is as always - you do not pay me until AFTER I am finished, and if I go over the word budget, you are not responsible, but if I go under, you only pay for what I write.
- I highly prefer we talk out your idea via DMs somewhere, but any of the methods of contact are fine.
- PLEASE let me know if it's imperative to get this done by your chosen holiday if you're planning to give/get it as a gift!

If you're interested, please get in contact with me via the following:
- FA Notes (May be a little slower)
- Discord (@alchemouse)
- Telegram (@BHHammy)
- E-mail (barohilhampton@gmail.com - same as with FA notes but I try to get to emails that show up on my notifs in a timely manner)

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CURRENT SLOTS (Updated 12/4/25)
(1) - MintyButts
(2) - Tesseract Paradox
(3) - SolidusSnake
(4) - Raibiash
(5) - Open

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Thank you for your interest!