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Heart of Hollows | Registered: Dec 15, 2009 11:01
I will remake this at some point. Favorites
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Comments Earned: 1107
Comments Made: 1139
Journals: 7
Comments Made: 1139
Journals: 7
Recent Journal
Update | Hiatus Continuing | Without Internet
7 months ago Writing a new Journal for a bit of an update, my Hiatus continues especially now that I have no internet. I'm not sure how long I will be without internet but it will be some time. I am hoping to have it back within next month or sooner. I am still working through the process that I lost my mom. There's a lot around behind that. And it still bothers me to this day that my mom actually passed away the same day that my dad did back in 2011, almost the same age. I believe it was fated at the same time though. I'm more of a reclusive person than I ever was before, and I feel that I reverted back to a lot of who I once was. A lot has changed in my life and in me within the last few years, and I've had a lot to reflect on.
Once I return with internet, I'm going to be doing a mass amount of going through my characters and selling them. I have already sold a character of mine that everybody loved so dearly; but only his old design and markings. His name will however remain the same. I have been working on his new design in the background whenever I get The Muse to do artwork. A lot has stopped me from doing artwork in the past, a lot of crap happened that destroyed my muse and inspiration for artwork.. the same goes for my desire to role play as well.
Once I come back with internet I hope to be more inclined and inspired to do artwork again. Maybe even open for commissions, but a few at a time as I work 40 plus hours a week.
But once I go through all my characters and get rid of a boatload of them, then I may take on commissions or selling adoptables, Etc; we'll see how I feel and what inspires me.
I am eventually going to be working on moving out of where I currently live, even if it's not in the state of Florida. I really don't have anything holding me back anymore; I mainly only stayed for the sake of my mom because she needed me. I have nothing left really here in Florida for me. But we'll see how that goes in time. My main priority now besides saving up is to get my car fixed and on the road again.
But for now I'm going to continue working on feeling better as I caught something and have been sicker than a dog for the last few days, whatever I've caught has hit me pretty hard, and it's been a hot minute since I felt like crap. I'm still currently waiting to receive my Mom's ashes for her urn which came before her ashes did.
I'm never going to forget having four police officers at my door right and early to tell me that she passed away that morning, only a few hours before they told me. But they didn't care to tell me at her Rehabilitation Center that she was sick for two days before she passed. So I'm still sitting on that one too. For now I'm still processing her passing in general. My grieving is different than most people, I don't grieve in what people would say is the normality. I don't physically show grievance as much as I do internally. I guess that's what happens when you learn over the years how to hide your pain and put a facade on. I guess I'm still working on how to utilize what emotions are? I mean I never fully was able to fully grieve over my father passing and that was in 2011. I found myself cry a few times here and there over my mom passing, but eventually it'll probably hit me hard that she's gone. It'll eventually catch up to me.
Anyways that's my update for now, I know I don't have many people that really follow me or read my stuff or anything, but there you have it.
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