I think the worst was towards the end. I felt like there was no good way to end it. A couple weeks went by racking my brain on how it would all work. It felt as though I had become more of a nagger to this person. There would be mornings and nights I would cry myself to sleep from the way they would finally reply to me. That I could be accepted into their home, or that they would come to mine. I didn't mean to make him feel bothered. When he would call and I was with family, I couldn't answer. When he would call and I was at work, I couldn't answer. His night time job and the hour kept trying to make him feel needed was beginning to make me feel like I could never make it work for us. I wish that he finds another. Someone more succsessful, available, and most importantly.. there. Even at the end. I couldn't bring myself to call him. He deserved so much more than me. He still does. He deserves much more than I could ever have offered. He always will.

He still stands in my heart, but it isn't possible with any outcome I can pridict.


I am sorry.