OMG I'm alive, I wanted to add a life update on what happened to me and why I went silent.

I won't go into great detail but basically the marriage I was in was very unhealthy. Being young and naive I didn't realize that it was a bad relationship I just delt with it. (found out later they are a self-absorbed narcissist that can't do anything for themselves...A literal man child we were married 15 years with an 11 year age gap)

I was made to get a job because what I was doing as a stay-at-home mother wasn't viewed as having any value and I needed to pay half the bills... ok fair I guess... I was watched over by my Partner" and closely monitored my every move and any time I drew or tried to do any commission work I was ridiculed by them made to feel bad because there was always something to do around the house and THAT should be priority and not my stupid hobbies.

So, after some time, my old as dirt computer finally just stopped running so that took care of doing any art because my phone just couldn't handle the apps.

So, I picked up more hrs. at work where I slaved my life away from 9am to 10 pm I never saw my children except for the small amount of time in the morning before they went to school. I was drowning...I was depressed my mental health was TERRIBLE and any time I would bring it up to my partner (who literally went to collage to be a phycologist) I was told everyone feels sad sometimes and I just needed to "Change my mindset".....and when I was at my wits end told them I was having un-aliving thoughts and was told I was being selfish and walked away from me......Fast forward a year and a mental breakdown later I caught him cheating on me after he blatantly accused me of doing so for YEARS before hand (would ask me almost daily if I was cheating on him).. I was ANGRY but that event gave me the courage to walk away finally. Now I'm doing much better, have an AMAZING and supportive partner AND a brand new computer set up so i can finally create art and be social again!! Here is to a better life here in 2024.