Its been one heck of a year since the last journal, a lot has been going on in my life that has been making me less frequent with my art or even being social in online spaces. With how 2025 started I was in a very low place, looking for work, just trying to financially and emotionally keep my head above water, dealing with unpleasant shifts in social places I use to enjoy and call home. It was a gauntlet to say the least.

but now I am happy to say that in late spring I managed to find some new work, diving back into the trades world again in a field I never thought I would be in again due to its very limited places one can find employment. Yeeep this derg is back to being a RV Tech and I am feeling pretty glad for it! The pay has been pretty decent and the work environment is a laid back one overall, its been nice to put my jack of all trades skill-set to use once more and feel appreciated for what I bring to the table.

Also around the same time I happened to meet a sweet little kobold during some of my social life expanding adventures into other spaces. I am very happy to say we really hit it off have been dating in the months since then <3. I wont say much else cause this dragon isn't gonna kiss and tell all, haha. Hard to believe I am here again and have someone so sweet and special in my life, love you hun~ <3 *mwah mwah*

The rest of the summer was doing what I could to see friends with what social energy I still had and also be more involved with camping events and the smaller close-knit furry things that have been enjoyable and just overall nurturing ^.=.^



As for the rest... (the not as pleasant things)

I finally decided to hand off a NSFW furry telegram group I ran for many years. I was getting incredibly burned out and depressed with the shift some furry spaces have taken in the last few years, including this one. A noticeable up tick in kink, sex and sexuality shaming. I spent too much time trying to moderate and keep the vibe more pleasant and sex positive. It all hit a tipping point once homophobic and sexist bits were getting to be a norm and multiple members had reached out in private to tell me of harassment they had received in private.. At some point the scales tipped and I was caught in the middle, trying to hold onto a vibe and community that was just not really there anymore, for people who had mostly been already driven away.

Much in the same regard and same reasons I have taken an indeterminate length beak from the main stream furry scene where I am and have my doubts I will even want to return with how things in those spaces have become. They no longer feel like the welcoming and safe communities they once were especially if you are one who already had struggles with mental health and socializing, heaven forbid. Once you have seen the mask slip a few times, its hard to trust some people the same way again and pretending all is fine for the sake of others comfort is incredibly damaging to ones mental health.

When I realized how much all of this was sapping the joy and happiness from my life, how it was distracting me from my current and past jobs, my hobbies, my time with my boyfriend. I made a not as hard as I thought, decision to put my foot down for myself and those I care about. With all the good that's been growing in my life this last year, with all the progress I have made with therapy and working on myself. Why keep sabotaging that for the wrong people and the wrong places?


Wooof, well that was a journal and a half, see you all in another year from now, hahaha