So hi, it's somehow been 2 months since the passing of my ma, which iiiis crazy how time flies. In the meantime, I've been picking back up on work (many thanks to everyone who still supports my art), getting my estate probated, finally getting medicated after being diagnosed with ADHD nearly 4-ish years ago, and just cutting wayyy back on the alcohol.

Between my pa's chemo and ma's heart surgery, oh god I was somehow going through a half-pint almost every other day (the cheap shit too, R&R tastes like unhappiness in liquid form). Now I'll have like, a hard cider or lemonade/iced teas on Fri/Sun or something, so that's good that I somehow evaded an addiction.

Aside from that, starting my adderall really helped (it couldn't have been approved sooner, cos I was beginning to have frequent panic attacks almost every other day for a couple weeks) and it's kinda helped in grounding my focus substantially. I don't believe in miracle cures or magic pills, but this was DEFINITELY it for me--I always had an inclination of it since I'd mellow out and almost wanna go to sleep after having a coffee for a while there.

There are some hurdles to overcome, but I really, d e s p e r a t e l y wanna move forward with as much positivity as I can stomach, cos I've noticed that a lot of negative things (be it from how someone speaks to me or certain thoughts) had begun to lead me into a triggered state, and thus the panic would creep over me. I'd NEVER shaken so badly before--I had to actually call my friend on the interstate cos I couldn't breathe and had to go walk out in the woods for a bit while I stuttered like fuckin Grace Ashcroft, lmao.

Regardless, things (currently) are looking...good. Don't wanna say STABLE yet, but good. I feel good.

So thank y'all for listening to me all those times I freaked the hell out cos life had become literal, bona fide, unadulterated hell--I'm sure I'll be bitching about something again in the future, but for now I'm enjoying working and gluing all my pieces back together.

Hope youuuu have a great day, week, month, etc...as always, I'll be drawing more nonsense