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Submissions: 78
Favs: 783
Moonlight Béchameleon | Registered: Feb 18, 2010 08:17
"Seek a sage in your mind,
keep a child in your heart."
"What from yesterday we borrow
is part of the road to morrow."
- Soel
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<< INFP-T/4w5 >>
*A cloudless night has settled over a small, undiscovered island, curious, yet graceful in nature.
You find yourself surrounded by the islands vegetation that gives off a dazzling gleam, as soon as the moon rises.
A handful of wisps flicker about, playfully. They notice you and immediately allude to a narrow path towards a cliff, illuminating the way.
They reveal a youthful, pale-white chameleon bathing in the moonlight.
He attends to you, a delicate smile adorns his face and he speaks to you softly* - "Hello there~"
Welcome to this safe harbour, I call my home - my sanctuary in this crumbling world.
Merely a casual Chameleon here, seeking a brighter future, all that while struggling with my own emptiness.
Still, I won't surrender, would never leave my friends behind. Besides, I want to see what will happen next :P
I firmly believe there's a meaning behind everything and that, no matter what may occur to you, you’ll always be able to grow, even from your own mistakes.
But all too often, all these thoughts still overwhelm me...
Whenever I'm not losing myself in gaming or another rush of creativity, I also love to chat <3
So if you have any questions, problems, whatever else; or you just need a hug - feel free to step closer~
...Puns may happen frequently ^.w.^
Main characters:
-> Soel, my sona, basically me
-> ExVee, former sona and a gentle giant
-> Serad, evil sharky lizard and the dark force behind
<<< My characters belong to me, so please don‘t use them without permission! Thanks ^^ >>>
A few close friends:
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Featured Submission
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Comments Earned: 670
Comments Made: 916
Journals: 5
Comments Made: 916
Journals: 5
Recent Journal
What a year… 2023
a year ago
Hello there folks!
I just wanted to write down some thoughts and experiences I had over the course of this year, since it was probably one of most packed and life changing ones I ever had~…
Like holy sh**, so much has happened, I have no idea where to start D: This means I‘ll also probably come back and add a few things when they came to mind again ^^°
For now, let’s see…
———
Since I was dealing with depression and overthinking things (in the wrong way) for the last few years, along with the running therapy, I‘ve also started to visit a daycare since january.
At first I felt a little out of place, but I learned how much I could relate to other people there.
We‘re doing many everyday things, talking and spending time together. For example, sometimes we also had cards with meaningful quotes. That was where I started to think differently…
Depression is a lot about low self-esteem or even self-hatred. I never liked much about myself, which came from bad experiences, thoughts and my mother constantly telling me how much of a failure and idiot I am, that I‘ll never be able to live alone and so on…
The ‚mate‘ I had at that time wasn’t a big help either (but that’s a whole other topic).
So, how could someone be able to find a bright thought if everyone around makes you feel small? Well… sometimes just a little spark changes your whole life~
A close friend brought me to realize something:
I love my sona. He means everything to me.
Some would simply say he isn’t real, but if you change your viewpoint… you‘ll come to the conclusion he/she/it is a part of yourself, therefore kind of ‚real‘ in their own way.
And what did I say before? „I love him“.
That means I also love myself to a degree…
I, the one who always struggled with self-esteem as long as he can think, finally started to feel confident with myself. For the first time, especially after these dark years, I was able to look up and out of my abyss…
Of course I’m still far from being the happiest person alive and I probably will never be. But it was good and necessary to move on, finally…
———
Next up were a first few steps into my independence. My newfound strength (and some external help) led me to get my own bank account and start searching for my own place.
I know what you think… It’s pitiful that I had to reach my 30s to get things done like everyone else did many years ago already. And you‘re right. But you also see I had my handicaps…
With that, it was like a new world opened to me. I could finally attend furry events, get the games I want or just simply grab some snacks in a local supermarket. Without asking my mother first. And guess what? I‘m still not broke yet, much to her surprise~ :P
Speaking of events, after some furmeets in Berlin and Dresden last year already, I also visited a yearly summer event in Berlin this time. It was much fun, even if I was mostly too shy to speak up ^^° When Mario Kart and Smash Brothers started to happen, I felt my time coming though~ xD
Of course I‘ll get there next year as well!
And… if I can save up enough money, maybe even EF too. Which would be my first big con ever <3
———
Gaming-wise, this year was a blast too!
Got Yooka-Laylee, the Pokémon and Sonic Frontiers DLCs, Mario Bros Wonder and other little things~
Of course, Zelda - Tears of the Kingdom was one of my highlights <3
I can’t remember any other game in a long time where I continuously discovered things and features I was so amazed about xD
3 Layers of an already huge open world, great temples and bossfights, building my own quirky home, monster figures that keep the pose they got pictured in… great soundtrack, lovely characters, exciting story… Did I forget anything? Most probably xD
Fantastic game~
Another honorable mention I want to make here is for a game called ‚Lil Gator Game‘.
As you can tell, I love scalies, so this was already interesting to have a look at x3
It‘s a cute and wholesome little story about a young gator playing with his friends and trying to get his big sister to play with them, while she is heavily occupied with school work.
But hold on - there’s a little bit of deeper meaning behind this!
The game reminds you to value your youth and the time you have to play around without worrying much. We all get older and it’s important to never forget your inner child, at least from time to time ^.w.^
Try it, you’ll have fun~
———
Which kinda brings me to my next topic…
Over the course of this year I was already thinking much (more than before) about stuff, but when I re-discovered the rabbit hole of personality development through that famous MBTI test, things started to get MUCH deeper…
Which type I am? Maybe you‘ve already guessed it~
I‘m an INFP-T, aka the healers and dreamers.
If you think about my species as a chameleon, informed people may wonder „But INFJs probably are the better chameleons!“ since most people came to that conclusion.
At first thought this may be right and they definitely seem to be good at blending into social environments. In fact I don’t feel too far away from that either if you give me some time with a group x3
That specific part of my result, the P vs J, also was the closest to being a little balanced, like 60-70/30 or so, so it makes sense.
Watching lots of videos about these types (I was on vacation and got sick almost right after, so I had quite some time ^^°) I also discovered, while we Ps are already good at adapting a change of environments and plans and being spontaneous, there are lots of famous actors or philosophers among us.
You know, people like Shakespeare, or Johnny Depp and Heath Ledger, which are known for not only playing their roles but LIVING them!
This could be called ‚Identity Alchemy‘, when we take parts and traits we appreciate and relate to and add them to our own ‚true‘ personality, enabling us to authentically grow and develop over time~
Now someone should try to call me less chameleonic again :P
Not that I wouldn’t share many more similarities with my inner species anyway o3o
On a side note, INFPs inner age seems to be sliced in half, so we’re both a child and a sage at the same time… Hah, I couldn’t relate to this more xD
———
Speaking of deep thoughts, this whole-year-train of events now really revealed my philosophic side to me. I started to view lots of things differently, from angles out of the box.
While I always had a little feeling for meanings behind events, now I want to seek them!
Everything is connected in a way and we continuously affect people we spend time with… I love to think about how our actions, even if they seem so small and unimportant sometimes, may cause a big change somewhere in the future~
But I don’t want to go too deep into details now, heh xD I‘ve just started a Telegram channel about deeper thoughts but also random puns at times, let me know if you’re interested! :3
As hinted earlier, my sona now became my main source of strength to fight my inner darkness. He’s always here with me, like a spiritual guardian of some sort. And we certainly had some bonding moments this year I still can’t fully express… Times where I randomly found something that could‘ve been his own words encouraging me, always coming at the perfect moment when I needed them~
To me, Soel isn’t just a character I like to associate and play with. He’s like… the shape of my soul. So no matter what happens, he won’t leave me alone.
Just realizing this and building on top of it, gets me to feel deeply connected, appreciated and ready to leave my own footsteps out there~ And I‘ll try to lend a hand and be there for anyone needing some help or just a good friend, especially for my already existing friends! Love you guys~ <3
———
… …Phew, what a long story; this year certainly was something, you can tell ^.w.^° My phone battery is almost empty again… xD
But you know what? I hope these vibes will continue next year! :D
Currently trying to forget about a crush I had for some time now… Love just wasn’t something I was ever victorious in so far. But oh well, maybe some day~…
If I forgot something I’ll add it, probably ^^°
If you came this far and didn’t fell asleep, please share your thoughts with me! Don’t be as shy as I am so often :‘D
I won’t bite - chameleons tend to lick instead xP
Have a great day and may your next year be as awesome as you can dream of~ <3
- Soel
I just wanted to write down some thoughts and experiences I had over the course of this year, since it was probably one of most packed and life changing ones I ever had~…
Like holy sh**, so much has happened, I have no idea where to start D: This means I‘ll also probably come back and add a few things when they came to mind again ^^°
For now, let’s see…
———
Since I was dealing with depression and overthinking things (in the wrong way) for the last few years, along with the running therapy, I‘ve also started to visit a daycare since january.
At first I felt a little out of place, but I learned how much I could relate to other people there.
We‘re doing many everyday things, talking and spending time together. For example, sometimes we also had cards with meaningful quotes. That was where I started to think differently…
Depression is a lot about low self-esteem or even self-hatred. I never liked much about myself, which came from bad experiences, thoughts and my mother constantly telling me how much of a failure and idiot I am, that I‘ll never be able to live alone and so on…
The ‚mate‘ I had at that time wasn’t a big help either (but that’s a whole other topic).
So, how could someone be able to find a bright thought if everyone around makes you feel small? Well… sometimes just a little spark changes your whole life~
A close friend brought me to realize something:
I love my sona. He means everything to me.
Some would simply say he isn’t real, but if you change your viewpoint… you‘ll come to the conclusion he/she/it is a part of yourself, therefore kind of ‚real‘ in their own way.
And what did I say before? „I love him“.
That means I also love myself to a degree…
I, the one who always struggled with self-esteem as long as he can think, finally started to feel confident with myself. For the first time, especially after these dark years, I was able to look up and out of my abyss…
Of course I’m still far from being the happiest person alive and I probably will never be. But it was good and necessary to move on, finally…
———
Next up were a first few steps into my independence. My newfound strength (and some external help) led me to get my own bank account and start searching for my own place.
I know what you think… It’s pitiful that I had to reach my 30s to get things done like everyone else did many years ago already. And you‘re right. But you also see I had my handicaps…
With that, it was like a new world opened to me. I could finally attend furry events, get the games I want or just simply grab some snacks in a local supermarket. Without asking my mother first. And guess what? I‘m still not broke yet, much to her surprise~ :P
Speaking of events, after some furmeets in Berlin and Dresden last year already, I also visited a yearly summer event in Berlin this time. It was much fun, even if I was mostly too shy to speak up ^^° When Mario Kart and Smash Brothers started to happen, I felt my time coming though~ xD
Of course I‘ll get there next year as well!
And… if I can save up enough money, maybe even EF too. Which would be my first big con ever <3
———
Gaming-wise, this year was a blast too!
Got Yooka-Laylee, the Pokémon and Sonic Frontiers DLCs, Mario Bros Wonder and other little things~
Of course, Zelda - Tears of the Kingdom was one of my highlights <3
I can’t remember any other game in a long time where I continuously discovered things and features I was so amazed about xD
3 Layers of an already huge open world, great temples and bossfights, building my own quirky home, monster figures that keep the pose they got pictured in… great soundtrack, lovely characters, exciting story… Did I forget anything? Most probably xD
Fantastic game~
Another honorable mention I want to make here is for a game called ‚Lil Gator Game‘.
As you can tell, I love scalies, so this was already interesting to have a look at x3
It‘s a cute and wholesome little story about a young gator playing with his friends and trying to get his big sister to play with them, while she is heavily occupied with school work.
But hold on - there’s a little bit of deeper meaning behind this!
The game reminds you to value your youth and the time you have to play around without worrying much. We all get older and it’s important to never forget your inner child, at least from time to time ^.w.^
Try it, you’ll have fun~
———
Which kinda brings me to my next topic…
Over the course of this year I was already thinking much (more than before) about stuff, but when I re-discovered the rabbit hole of personality development through that famous MBTI test, things started to get MUCH deeper…
Which type I am? Maybe you‘ve already guessed it~
I‘m an INFP-T, aka the healers and dreamers.
If you think about my species as a chameleon, informed people may wonder „But INFJs probably are the better chameleons!“ since most people came to that conclusion.
At first thought this may be right and they definitely seem to be good at blending into social environments. In fact I don’t feel too far away from that either if you give me some time with a group x3
That specific part of my result, the P vs J, also was the closest to being a little balanced, like 60-70/30 or so, so it makes sense.
Watching lots of videos about these types (I was on vacation and got sick almost right after, so I had quite some time ^^°) I also discovered, while we Ps are already good at adapting a change of environments and plans and being spontaneous, there are lots of famous actors or philosophers among us.
You know, people like Shakespeare, or Johnny Depp and Heath Ledger, which are known for not only playing their roles but LIVING them!
This could be called ‚Identity Alchemy‘, when we take parts and traits we appreciate and relate to and add them to our own ‚true‘ personality, enabling us to authentically grow and develop over time~
Now someone should try to call me less chameleonic again :P
Not that I wouldn’t share many more similarities with my inner species anyway o3o
On a side note, INFPs inner age seems to be sliced in half, so we’re both a child and a sage at the same time… Hah, I couldn’t relate to this more xD
———
Speaking of deep thoughts, this whole-year-train of events now really revealed my philosophic side to me. I started to view lots of things differently, from angles out of the box.
While I always had a little feeling for meanings behind events, now I want to seek them!
Everything is connected in a way and we continuously affect people we spend time with… I love to think about how our actions, even if they seem so small and unimportant sometimes, may cause a big change somewhere in the future~
But I don’t want to go too deep into details now, heh xD I‘ve just started a Telegram channel about deeper thoughts but also random puns at times, let me know if you’re interested! :3
As hinted earlier, my sona now became my main source of strength to fight my inner darkness. He’s always here with me, like a spiritual guardian of some sort. And we certainly had some bonding moments this year I still can’t fully express… Times where I randomly found something that could‘ve been his own words encouraging me, always coming at the perfect moment when I needed them~
To me, Soel isn’t just a character I like to associate and play with. He’s like… the shape of my soul. So no matter what happens, he won’t leave me alone.
Just realizing this and building on top of it, gets me to feel deeply connected, appreciated and ready to leave my own footsteps out there~ And I‘ll try to lend a hand and be there for anyone needing some help or just a good friend, especially for my already existing friends! Love you guys~ <3
———
… …Phew, what a long story; this year certainly was something, you can tell ^.w.^° My phone battery is almost empty again… xD
But you know what? I hope these vibes will continue next year! :D
Currently trying to forget about a crush I had for some time now… Love just wasn’t something I was ever victorious in so far. But oh well, maybe some day~…
If I forgot something I’ll add it, probably ^^°
If you came this far and didn’t fell asleep, please share your thoughts with me! Don’t be as shy as I am so often :‘D
I won’t bite - chameleons tend to lick instead xP
Have a great day and may your next year be as awesome as you can dream of~ <3
- Soel
User Profile
Accepting Trades
No Accepting Commissions
No Character Species
Chameleon
Favorite Music
Game OSTs
Favorite TV Shows & Movies
Digimon, Fairy Tail, Avatar, Dragonheart, Zombieland, HTTYD, A land before time 1, Venom, ...
Favorite Games
Pokémon(Main/MD), Zelda, Okami, EverOasis, Trials of Mana, KH3D, Dillon's RW, Sonic, Kirby, Yooka-Laylee, ACNH, Boktai, DungeonKeeper, Albion, ...
Favorite Gaming Platforms
3DS, Switch
Favorite Animals
Dragons, Reptiles, Scalies
Favorite Site
FA, YouTube
Favorite Foods & Drinks
salty/spicy stuff, cheese, ice tea, milkshakes
Favorite Quote
"The important thing is not how long you live... It's what you accomplish with your life. That would definitely carry on into the future." -Grovyle
Favorite Artists
Too many... ^^°
Contact Information
xvrox
~xvrox
...*gasp* is Soel your stand!?! (I'm hoping your getting this Jojo's bizarre adventure joke)
Thanks for the fav on my work!
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