I've been a furry for nearly 8 years now and in that time i really have not had proper interaction with the public or have made friends. In the few times i have interacted with some of my favorite artists i've made some of them dislike me because i ask too many questions or i was too obsessive. I want to apologise and make peace with them, but instead they ignore me and now i'm forced to live with my mistakes. In turn, I've also missed out on a lot of things such as participating in forum polls, discussion about new artworks when they're released, discord servers, and more. I wish i could go back in time and become more active back then so that i could devolop relationships with my favorite artists and fellow users, but alas we cannot change the past. A part of me wishes to move on, but another part of me can't bring myself to do it because it's all i have. i'm lost, lonely and don't know what to do.