It's been 4 years since I've done a journal entry here. It would honestly surprise me if anyone ever saw this entry at this point in time.

The last decade has brought me the best of times, but it has brought me the worst of them as well. I finished college in this decade. I have been with that career as a vet tech since then. In the last decade, I have built a reputation in the city in which I live in.

The last decade brought me my first (and so far only) serious relationship. It also brought me a world of hurt that took me years to recover from.
Looking back, he gave me a lot in that relationship. A lot of those lessons made me that made me who I am today. I've gained skills that I can be proud of.
It ended with infidelity. Surprise, he was not straight. It definitely threw me in for more than a loop. I am not faultless by any means in the end of the relationship we had. Still, it was a slap in the face in finding out who my real friends are.
A few people blamed me for driving him to cheat on me. Hell, I even blamed myself. Part of me still does.

I lost myself with that relationship. Or perhaps, I had lost myself long before. It took a better part of 2 years to figure my shit out. I started traveling. I still have a few places to go, but I have been advised against going to Egypt as a single woman. I still hold out hope that maybe in a few years, I can finally go.

A decade ago, if you had asked me where I would imagine myself to be in 10 years, I would have answered "Probably married, or engaged, planning to have kids. Settling down. Maybe a head tech or something". That obviously did not pan out that way.

I am not where I imagine myself to be by any means, but I have been to so many unexpected places. I always thought that Japan captured my heart when I went there years ago. I never imagine another country, one so different would snag it like it did. One day, I will return to South Africa. At least, I hope so.

As for what I think about the next decade. Oh god, it can absolutely be worse. I no longer expect sunshine and rainbows. I would be happy to make it to the end of next decade intact. But, I have something to look forward to in the next decade. More travels for sure. But, even bigger, I just hope it doesn't end the same way.