This year has gone by so fast. We're already 3/4ths done. Thought I'd talk about things.

Privately, I've got a lot of concerns to juggle between work, mental and physical health, and obligations. It's given me much less time do personal projects. And when I do have personal time? I've felt terribly anxious; my ADHD flairs up like nuts. And I only think that's gotten worse with the state of the world AND private issues leaving me on edge all the time.

This is why I don't take on public commissions for the most part, cause I don't feel like I could deliver at a very adequate time. It feels like negotiating what the client wants raises expectations and talking to friends about it takes away the "surprise" of getting stories. How do professional commission authors do it? When a story gets written, do the recipient work as the editor to get it fully done? This isn't to take away from artists or claim that it's easier; I know lotta people who've gone through real dry spells over the past couple of years. The act of writing, getting characters personalities' right, and making a complete scenario is very intimidating. Think it's just because it reminds me when I used to write fan fiction and how some people would be very protective of how a character is interpreted.

On the writing side, I'm thrilled I was able to get "The Milkman" done. It took months to go through and constant tweaking, but it's probably the best piece of kink writing I've done. Each story I take on has gotten bigger and bigger, and the views the story (and Eunice!) got speak well for themselves. I had 5 different writing projects in the work, but at least I've gotten 1 done. I've got a few things to get through, from gifts to trades and even a few kinky fanfics to do. I've just gotta channel the spark when it comes. I still want to be able to do this at some point, so I be more than a commissioner in this community.

And on another note, I think we're all aware of the tragic passing   maikeru (Sofia) because of our broken American health system. She's done so much for me and this side of FA for so long. One of the earliest artists I've loved and the most significant one to who I am today. I'd planned a few more commissions with her back in April. She was an important fixture to the small friend group I've amassed here. Be sure to support her partner   kunoichi and/or make a donation to her Memorial Fund. I don't tend to grieve all at once, but the dread and pain tend to come in waves.

It's hard to see where the world or even this website might go from here. Social media is imploding and we've all collectively realized how much damage it's done to people. That's just going to increase as tech oligarchs use it to harm everybody else. That damage keeps coming in stronger and stronger waves. Will it reach the breaking point? I don't know.

But if I'm left with nothing else, this is the last bastion I want to be at.