I can ignore tasks with the best of them. Some tasks, such as cleaning under furniture, can be shelved so deeply in the layers of my to-do list that they are very nearly afforded a geological existence. Other tasks, such as cleaning the fridge, merely need a gentle nudge of reality to move me away from inaction. If I focus very intently on a project, I can often ignore the subtle clues tapping softly for attention.

And so it was that, after several days of working in the yard in response to my growing excitement over the arrival of warmer weather, I couldn't help but notice that the cat was parading around in diapers. My first thought, of course, was "good...maybe the dogs will finally get a clue and that will certainly free up some of my time to continue to ignore the noises recently emanating from the fridge."

However, feline determination combined with calls from my neighbors (how is it that nobody even blinks when folks dress up a little dog in a tube-top, school girl dress and pumps, but let your cat out wearing Depends and the neighborhood gossips come out in full force) prompted me to move into swift, albeit slightly unfocused action.

I finally gave up trying to locate pull-ups in a size that wouldn't simply drop down around my cat's ankles and decided that perhaps the point that my hapless feline was attempting to drive into my skull might have something to do with the litterbox. Febreeze can only do so much apparently.

Off I trooped to the local grocery store for fresh litter, having come to realization that I have a very disturbed cat who was growing increasingly morose. Nothing chafes worse than ill-fitting Pampers and those bald spots on her thighs are gonna be hard to explain to the vet. Lucky for both of us, you can buy litter these days in the 60 pound tub...which for me, given my propensity for task avoidance, could last an entire year. That and a little salve for puss-puss and homeward bound I go.

It was whilst pouring out my cat's future bathroom necessity that I came across the really disturbing item. When did they start packing food samples in the middle of litter? I'm happily filling up the supply bin while my furry charge dances around the bathroom crossing her legs (always the over-acting with this one) when out from the tub drops a brightly wrapped tin of tuna. "Free Sample!" the packaging shouts. Forgive me for finding this slightly inappropriate. Wouldn't this be a bit like rolling M&M's inside your charmin? Tucking tootsie rolls lovingly within the folds of Cottonelle? God, I can just imagine the advertising now..."softer, more gentle on your skin...and now for a limited time, enjoy the tasty goodness of Kuner's Creamed Corn fresh from the farm in every roll."

I would think a more appropriate item to include would be a nice, portable, shower screen for the cat. Something that she could have quickly available for those long, badly timed tongue baths she's so fond of scheduling during dinner time. And don't tell me she can take a couple of extra minutes for my sanity. I mean, look how good she got with the Huggies.